


Nostos

by mks57



Category: The Last Ship (TV)
Genre: Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hallucinations, Homecoming, Hurt/Comfort, Redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2018-12-30 18:42:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 47
Words: 240,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12114861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mks57/pseuds/mks57
Summary: AU story: Set after 4x03, Mike has the primordial seeds but is badly injured and on the run from Giorgio and Omar's men. If that wasn't bad enough, he is lost with no comms, no help. OC/Mike





	1. Chapter 1

 

* * *

Mike ran mindlessly lost, he wasn't normally so disorientated but all the streets looked alike and the blood loss and heat was getting to him. He needed to get off the street, he needed water and something to stem the bleeding. A door to his left creaked open, he wished he had a weapon.

He turned to the open door, to see a woman with pale skin and long dark brunette hair, for a split second he thought it was Sasha but as his vision focussed it was not her as the woman before him had pale olive skin and brown eyes. Her hair was longer, she had dark circles under her eyes and somewhat gaunt appearance. Her clothes were very worn as her chambray shirt was faded and leggings had holes and fabric fatigue.

"Come on." The woman whispered him, she spoke with no discernible accent.

"Who-" he started, she pulled out an ID badge, his vision blurred with sparks and speckles as he grew lightheaded but he managed to make out that whoever she was, she was Interpol. He wondered what the hell she was doing out here.

"Get in here." She told him, ushering him into house. He looked around and knew he couldn't run; so he took her offer rushing into the home. She quickly closed the door behind him. "Where are you hit?" she asked as she could see the blood on his clothes.

"Stabbed-" He grimaced as he lifted his t-shirt with one arm and clutched to the seed cylinder under his other for life. She looked about to say more when a knock sounded at the door. She pushed him into large ornamental closet that held a couple jackets, but even so for his stature it was a tight fit.

"For the love of god; stay quiet." She told him in a low voice, she shut the door enclosing him in. He watched through the grated windows of the doors as the woman messed her hair and slumped her shoulders and moved to the door. She opened it, and Mike saw some goons who had been protecting Giorgio's interest. He cradled the cylinder close to his chest, his heart pounding as he was in no condition to fight.

The woman spoke in sluggish Italian, it was like she was drunk. The men at the door tried to push in but she shoved at them shouting and carrying on. He blinked and the next thing he saw was her vomiting on one of the goons shoes. The two men wore expressions of disgust as they stepped away. They obviously believed Mike was not here as they moved on.

The woman closed the door and locked it, she moved to the window and looked out for a few minutes. She waited a second more before she came back to him and opened the door. Mike couldn't help it as exhaustion hit him, he slid out of the wardrobe. She caught him and groaned from his weight as she dragged him across the floor.

"Who are you?" he asked as she placed a pillow under her head.

"Nasrin Khan, you can call me 'Naz'. I'll leave my creds by your head so you can keep referring to it when you feel you can't trust who I am. At least you can trust who I was." she said as she placed her Interpol ID with an additional ID that was for Australian Federal Police on the floor. She disappeared into another room and came back with a med kit.

Mike weakly picked them up and saw the IDs were real, out of date but legitimate as the small details of her photos. Same women but the photos were different styles of hair, suits, and then there wear and tear on the protectors. They were things that forgers tended to overlook. There was no way she could cook these up in some ploy to capture him for Omar or Giorgio. If she was a trap, she wasn't doing a good job of handing him over to the bad guys.

"You vomited." Mike stated as she knelt down by his side. He wanted to ask why she was so far from home and if she had a gun but his brain wouldn't comply.

"It's a party trick, listen you're in bad shape. So why don't you-" she reached for the back but he refused to let it go. "Fine, keep it but just for the record I don't care about your bag. Just let me help you." Naz told him.

"What's in it for you?" he asked wary of her as he watched her pull her long hair back into a low messy bun. He didn't miss the myriad of scars on her right inner side of her forearm. He would have thought suicide attempt but the scars intersected what looked to be a tattoo. Whatever had been there was indiscernible now.

"You're American Navy, I want Asylum to America, can you give it to me?" she asked him, opening her kit and pulling on surgical gloves.

"Why can't you leave?" he asked, he groan in pain as she gingerly prodded his wound and not answering her question. He wasn't sure he could give her what she asked but he wasn't in a position to negotiate.

"I was on loaner to Interpol for a special task force, ironically we were investigating Giorgio. When the pandemic hit, governments disintegrated and international travel was impossible; my husband and I thought we'd be safe from the virus here. He died in this house not long after the borders were closed." She paused as if lost in the memory before she shook it off and continued.

"Everything went to hell after that. I haven't got enough money to get home let alone off this island. Australian government has no active consulates on this continent. I figure, I hitch a ride with to America, I can reach home from there." she said with a shrug, Mike flinched as she kept probing his wound. She then rose up to her feet and moved into the kitchen pouring out a drink. She came back to him and knelt down beside him.

"Here, drink." She said as she lifted his head and pressed the cup to his lips. The contents smelt of stale tea. "It will help with the pain." she told him.

"No, I don't need anything." he said, she gave him a look that said she was arguing practicality here.

"I'm about dig into your guts to make sure you're not bleeding internally. I may have medic training but I'm no doctor nor am I delicate. So trust me when I say you should drink. The Nostos will help you escape. I will protect you." She said it so sincerely that he believed her. He didn't know her from Eve but he drank down the liquid.

It didn't take long for the tea to effect him, she was right. He did feel himself slipping from reality as she lowered his head back down onto the pillow. He felt all the aches and pains evaporate from his body, it felt so good that he closed his eyes to enjoy it.

When he opened his eyes, he found was standing in his kitchen at the house in Norfolk. But he felt like it was where he'd been the entire time. Home. There was a lovely yellow glow of warmth as the house was bathed in afternoon sun. He vaguely remembered where he'd been a moment ago as all that matter was being home. He felt a sense of contentment wash over him as he recognised the sights and smells of home. He walked into the living room and smiled as Lucas was on the floor playing with his dinosaur toys. He looked so happy engrossed in the Cretaceous period.

The front door opened and the girls ran in. Hannah his eldest was laughing at something Courtney said but their words were muffled. Not that he cared as he just loved being home with them. Christine followed in last carrying groceries. She looked stunningly beautiful in the afternoon sun. He moved towards her and pulled the groceries out of her arms and they shared a kiss 'hello'. He pulled back and she smiled up at him. She mouthed the words 'I love you'.

His heart filled with joy and happiness of seeing her. Seeing them all again that he barely noticed everything growing dark. But it all faded black and when he opened them, he realised with a deep ache in heart that it was a dream. Reality set in as he was on the floor, the scent of dirt, blood and ocean filling his senses. He groaned as the pain in side came back with a vengeance.

He looked to find the woman, leaning over his wound applying gauze. She looked to him, "Welcome to Hell." she told him, she was right about it being hell as grief welled up in so immensely it was like his family had died all over again. He had to fight himself to not cry out the anguish.

"Do not move, I've managed to stem the bleeding and have packed the wound but you need to be med-evac to a medical facility. I assume you have an emergency channel to contact your people?" she asked him.

"I do." he said wincing in pain as he trusted her not to move. He watched as she disconnected her arm from an IV line and disappeared out of view and came back with a radio. She reconnected the IV to her arm, giving him her blood. She turned on the radio and looked to him.

"Use frequency-" he told her the numbers. She tuned the radio and held it out to him. He reached for it with his good arm. The seed cylinder in the bag falling to his side. "Mother, this is Charlie Oscar come in." he said into the radio.

" _We read you loud and clear, can you make it to rally point bravo?_ " Meylan's voice asked him, clearly not wasting time as the situation was fraught.

"No, I'm incapacitated. I need immediate medical evac with a plus 1. Can you locate my signal?" he asked, as he knew he couldn't move on his own but Naz shook her head confirming that he was being held together rather precariously.

" _Vulture team is on their way. Hang tight._ " Meylan told him. Mike gave an exhale of relief and closed his eyes. He had the seeds and his people would get them out of this mess to safety. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder and he opened eyes to look to Naz.

"You should drink more Nostos." she told him in a soft voice. He shook his head as he'd prefer the agony of having his stab wound of the fresh pain from old wounds being reopened. Feeling his grief triple fold because he felt the injustice of losing everything he loved. He just couldn't take it.

"No, I'm good." he told her, she gave a nod as she completely understood. They lapsed into silence waiting for their rescue.


	2. Chapter 2

 

* * *

"All right. The fight pit's here. Nora Pula's this way." Tom said drawing a map on the dirt floor of the building they were hiding in. This was not the reunion he had expected with his old friends and comrades. If he could call them 'friends' given how they believed him to be an asshole who walked away with no word for 16 months. If only he could tell them the truth but he had orders. He also couldn't help but notice the new faces; he wondered which one of them replaced him. "Where are your rally points?" Tom asked looking to Sasha.

"Rally point Alpha is here." Sasha spoke first, she marked out on the rough map on the floor. "Abandoned square outside of town, 2 clicks west. Helo's still doing racetracks." Sasha told him.

"Should've only taken him, what, 15 minutes on foot?" Burk estimated as he and Danny looked down at the crude map on the floor.

"He's gotta be hurt." Danny said, Tom kept silent as he and Danny seemed to feel an underlying guilt at not following procedure. They should have frisked Lucia for a weapon, one of them should've gone with Mike as back up. But heat of the moment and so many decisions to make, it was only hindsight that made them feel guilty for their choices.

"Or they already found him." Burk said, pointing out something they all thought but weren't ready to acknowledge.

"No, I don't think so, there's still too many bad guys out there looking." Wolf said as he walked over from the window he'd been peering through to join them.

"Uh, RHIB's parked at rally point Bravo, on the beach." Sasha said marking out the other exit point they had off the island.

"It'll be crawling with Giorgio's men very soon. We took his yacht into town." Tom said to them, he was surprised at how it felt like no time had passed at all. But at the same time there was was this wall that seemed to isolate him from the group.

"Diaz, this is Green. Be on the lookout for the CO on E&E." Danny said into his radio, he and the others shared a look as Tom wondered what the response was. He despised not having comms as it was a physical wall of separation from the group showing he wasn't one of them. But he didn't have time to dwell as Sasha turned her attention to him.

"How many men does Giorgio have?" Sasha asked him.

"Dozen or so fighters. His personal detail." Tom answered, it was enough men for a proper search but then those men weren't all military trained, so their search would be erratic.

"Omar travels with an army." Burk said in a resigned manner, Tom gazed at the man wondering if he was ok. He got a real sense the man was exhausted; not a physical exhaustion. Tom looked at the others wondering if they were just as battle weary but they didn't show it.

"Streets are getting hot. We gotta move." Miller said from his post as he stood at the window watching the streets.

"All right, we break up into small teams. Hit both rally points simultaneously in case-" Tom started but one of the two newest member of Vulture team cut him off.

"Split up? We're already outnumbered. We stay together, we stand a chance if things go south." He argued, Tom narrowed his eyes at the man. He knew he had good intentions but he clearly didn't understand how the US Navy operated.

"Who are you?" he demanded, he turned to Sasha. "Who is he?" he asked her, gesturing back at the asshole who thought he had a right to question Tom's motives and suggestions.

"Part of the team that's been saving the world for the last year."Sasha told him curtly as she looked just as peeved as the other guy. It was clear in her features that she wasn't amused by him or him crashing their party. He knew they all had a right to kick him out but his friend was lost with the seeds and possibly injured because he hadn't thought to frisk Lucia for weapons. His sloppiness was the reason for this mess. So he was going to prove to them that he wasn't leaving and he was going to get his best friend back.

"Captain Slattery is on evade and escape, operating in the blind. No comms, no weapons, possibly injured, and carrying what seems to be the most important thing in the world.

Since we know where he's heading, we have an advantage. Small groups means more flexibility, the ability to move faster and possibly hopefully find him. But that's just my opinion. I'm new here. It's your show." Tom said arguing his case. He was the one in the group who knew Mike the best. He waited for James to argue, he waited for Sasha to take James' side as she clearly trusted him over Tom.

"We split up." Danny said making the decision. The others nodded and started moving out, Tom watched them all go; feeling thoroughly on the outside even though they were with him. The other newest member came up to him.

"It is an honor, Captain Tom." She told him with reverence. He looked at her for a moment before she walked away, he turned and looked at Sasha. She just shook her head in clear disappointment of him. It was exactly the reception he expected from her and the others. Even though he had expected, he hadn't counted on it hurting as much as it did. He wanted to explain, to tell them all why he hadn't contacted them in over 16 months but it wasn't the time or place.

"Hold." Sasha called out to the others. She tapped her radio. "Go ahead." She said, Tom watched as the others listened to their radios.

"What's going on?" Tom asked.

"Mother, what's his distance from us?" She asked over her radio.

"Has Mike shown up?" Tom asked, she held up a finger at Tom telling him to be quiet.

"What's his condition?" She asked, a second later she nodded. "Copy that, we'll assess onsite and give a sitrep when we have more information, Vulture team out." She looked to Tom and others. "We need a new plan." She told them in a matter of fact tone.

* * *

"You're giving him too much blood." Elias told her, Naz's head swam as he was right but the man needed it. He needed to survive as she couldn't live on as she was. She needed him to take her away.

"It's not real." Naz murmured, the lines blurring between reality and her mind. She closed her eyes and for a moment she drifted into her memories. Elias holding her close, kissing her neck in the warm afternoon sunlight. The Nostos she had drank at the fighting pit still coursing through her veins.

"I may not be real but your blood loss is. Naz, please. He needs you alive and functional." Elias said, she rested her hand on his; a complete illusion that her mind and the Nostos allowed her to believe was real. They pulled out the IV clear of her arm and then wrapped up her forearm in a bandage. Once it was patched up, she rose to her feet again. The room grew cold as she remembered reality.

The radio squawked " _This is Mother, Charlie Oscar do you read_?" a female voice demanded. Naz was glad the voice wasn't dragging her into her fresh memories of involuntary military service. As they had checked in at regular intervals; demanding information and her physical descriptors so the team coming to get them wouldn't kill her. At least that was the hope.

She wavered on her feet but he was at her side, Elias didn't steady her. He just watched as a witness to her folly and agony. The useless hallucination that he was. Yet, she couldn't let him go.

She picked up the radio, "Charlie Oscar is resting. This is Plus One, what is the ETA of medivac?" she asked.

" _Soon, what's your sitrep?_ " they asked, Naz moved to the window and peered out the corner of the closed curtains.

"Omar's men are closing in for a second sweep. There's a cathedral tower, north east of our location. Could your helo pick us up from there?" She told them, she waited for a response, it felt like forever.

" _Our people are heading your way. Remain where you are._ " the voice told her firmly, Naz shook her head as Elias was outside the house signalling for her to run. He was right, Omar's men would find them.

"Too late. Have them meet us at the tower. I'm going radio silent for 10 mikes." She told them. She turned off the radio and picked up Mike's bag; stuffing the radio inside and her IDs, she just couldn't leave them behind. She rushed into her bedroom and pulled out a suitcase from the closet.

She threw it open and pulled out the kevlar vests, gun and thigh holster. She pulled off her jumper pulled her vest on, before strapping her Glock 20 service weapon to her left thigh and stuffing ammo clips into her vest. She swung the bag across her chest and pulled the jumper back on and took the other vest with her.

She pulled out an old jumper of Elias' that looked big enough. At least she hoped so as they needed to conceal themselves as locals.

"Hey, Charlie Oscar." She said tapping the man's face. He blearily opened his eyes. He smiled at her as if she were someone else. "Hey, I need you to put on this vest. We need to go." she told him.

"Let me grab my keys." He slurred at her. He reached up, his hand cupped the back of her head, he brought her face to his and kissed her.

It was a soft and slow kiss; one meant for another woman. She should've pushed him away but allowed herself a moment of physical contact with another human. She gently pulled her face away from his, wishing she felt some guilt but couldn't as today was the first time in years she had felt something genuine. Something that wasn't trickery of Nostos. He smiled at her for a moment and reality sank in, his expression grew confused and upset he was no longer in a place he considered to be home.

"We need to go now."She told him, he gave a nod as he understood where he was. She helped him into the kevlar vest. It had been her comrade's in the war. It hadn't saved him, but then a bullet to head had been his cause of death. She had kept it as memento, something she couldn't reason with but right now was happy she still had. She was happy as this man was possibly the only one who could save her.

"Oh, ah.." he groaned in pain as he got to his feet. He stumbled but Naz helped to steady him. It was a task given he was solid man. "My bag." He said as she helped him pull on a black lightweight jumper. It would cover the blood on his t-shirt from prying eyes.

"I have it. Come on." She told him as she pushed him out the back of the house.

* * *

" _All teams, be have Charlie Oscar's location. He's at the cathedral with one friendly_. _Nasrin Khan, female, 5ft9, mid 30s, brown hair, brown eyes, slim and armed with Glock 20._ " Kara's voice said over comms.

"Copy that." Sasha replied, she heard the other teams and diverted their course in the direction of the cathedral. It wasn't far from their location and it meant they were ahead of Omar's people as they would find the house that Mike had been hiding out in.

"Where are we going?" Tom asked her, he watched her jaw tense in annoyance.

"Cathedral, they are taking higher ground." She told him, she knew she should turn her radio onto speaker so he could hear but she'd spent the last ten minutes having him step over her toes and undermine her position as team leader. So she wasn't inclined to help him usurp her entirely.

"They?" Tom asked confused. "He's being assisted by a local called Nasrin Khan. Do you know her?" She asked him.

"No, this is the first time I've been to Sardinia." he lied.

"Well, stay behind me and try to keep up." She told him as she took point. Tom looked to James wondering if the man was just as perturbed by his presence but James wore a neutral expression; giving away nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

"Up the stairs. Quickly, I can't guarantee that Omar... never mind." Naz said. The man had slipped into a twilight state from the blood loss and Nostos. The only good thing was that the Nostos made him pliable, he didn't argue or question as he was hearing an entirely different conversation to her.

"You gave him too much Nostos." Elias told her, Naz shook her head and gave a half shrug.

"Maybe, but could you shut up about it as I'm tired of you stating the obvious." She snapped at Elias, he'd been nagging her non stop as she herded her companion through the streets to the church. She'd almost think he was jealous which was insanity at it's best given he was just a figment of a drug and her memories.

"You left the Nostos at the house. If you stop taking it, I'll disappear." Elias pointed out to her. She already regretted it but she knew that it was her grief and addiction getting the best of her. It didn't want her to move forward or climb out of the hole she was in. Hell, she didn't but it seemed fate had a different path for her.

"Maybe it's time for me to let you go." Naz told him, tears trailed down her face as he just smiled affably.

"Better go help him before he falls over. Last thing you need is for your ticket to freedom to die." Elias pointed out. Naz nodded and walked straight through him as she chased up the stairs after Charlie Oscar before he broke his neck.

* * *

" _Vulture, what's your whiskey?_ " Kara asked over comms. Sasha, Tom and James were making good time on foot and culling down their enemy numbers but so far they hadn't run into Mike or his companion.

"Vulture team is approaching the Cathedral." Sasha said as they met up with the rest of Vulture team at said Cathedral. She just hoped they weren't too late. The other team members came and they formed a small circle; keeping their eyes open for trouble.

"Miller, Green, you're with us." Sasha said, she looked to Burk and the others. Months of working side by side had given them a short hand. "Burk." She said, he gave a nod as they all knew what they had to do.

* * *

"Here, slowly, slowly." Naz said. Mike groaned in pain as she helped Mike half lay down on the ground but also leaning against the wall. It had the best vantage point for the door but also gave him some support as he had no strength left to sit up. He wished he had a gun but even if he did, he was pretty sure he would barely be able to hold it.

"Where are we? How?" he asked in confusion, he remembered being in a run down house and now he was- well he had no clue where he was or how he got there. He just knew he hated being here, his world was filled with agony and despair while the other world was not. He looked to the woman next to him, she looked as bad as he felt; she didn't have a stab wound.

"Don't worry about that, your friends are on their way." Naz assured him.

"The bag?" he asked, Naz pulled off her jumper revealing a kevlar vest and more scars than anyone should ever carry on their person. His attention shifted focus as he saw the strap bisecting her chest. She pulled off the bag and gave it to him without hesitation or question. He opened the bag, relief washed through him as the seeds were still in there among other things.

"Your friends are closer than I expected." Naz said, she pulled the 9mm hand gun from her holster and pointed it at the door. Gunfire erupted down below, Mike was too tired to argue or even to help as he sunk further onto the floor.

"Turn on the radio." She told him, but Mike wasn't listening as everything faded out. He was back in his bedroom in Norfolk kneeling before Lucas. His tiny face scrunched in concentration as he pinned a large maple leaf made from alfoil onto Mike's shirt.

"There you are Commander." Lucas said with a grin, Mike's heart bloomed with immense love for his kid as rose to his feet and moved to the mirror admiring reflection. "Looks good." Mike told him, admiring his son's handiwork. Lucas beamed from the praise.

"Sure does." Christine said from the door with an appreciative smile.

"Now, you're appropriately dressed Commander, you must report to duty. Dinner is on the table and the roast beef is not going to carve itself." She informed him.

"Yes, Captain." Mike said with a salute, Christine and Lucas giggled at his humour, it was the most beautiful music to his ears.

* * *

Naz cursed as the man had slipped into another memory. She held the gun up in her left hand, and rummaged through the bag with her right as she kept her eyes on the door. She had just pulled out the radio as the door opened.

"Don't shoot!" Elias shouted at her, she pointed her gun downwards at the order as the people coming through the door were not the enemy. But it had been close as her reflex had been to shoot.

"Hercules." Naz said drily, looking at Tom Chandler as he on point with the Navy Sailors she had noticed at the pit earlier that day. They all seemed to lack the grace of blending in with their surroundings. But then there had been no hope of it given majority of them all look vibrantly healthy, with not so subtle military posture, American accents carrying weapons only an outsider or someone with a rich benefactor could afford.

"Slowly put the weapon on the ground." Tom ordered her, as the rest of the group that travelled with the CO came through the door. Naz placed her gun on the ground and placed her hands on her head knowing the drill.

"We don't have time for this." A woman snapped at Tom impatiently, before she started giving orders to the other team members. She moved to Naz, "You have ID?" she demanded in a curt and professional tone.

"Bag." Naz said, the woman moved to the bag and rummaged through it for a couple seconds before pulling out the ID and looking between it and Naz for a moment. It was enough for the woman as she didn't mince her words or ask questions.

"Welcome to the team, what's his condition?" She asked with a tilt up of her chin in the direction of the CO as she put the ID back into the bag and handing it back to him as he clutched for it even in his state.

"Critical, he needs another blood transfusion, fluids and surgery." Naz told her as she lowered her hands and picked up her gun much to the mistrust of Tom. The man was touted as a hero of humanity, but he was just as scarred, dark and twisted like everyone else.

"Are you ok?" She asked Naz.

"I'm good." Naz replied, she knew how she looked in comparison to the goddess standing before her but she was ready fight.

"Good enough for me as we're about to be swarmed." She said before she took up a position near them ready for the firefight that would be upon them soon.

* * *

Tom glanced at the woman leaning against the wall beside Mike who was off his face, he couldn't tell if it was from blood loss or something else. The woman was definitely a Nostos user, she had all the outward signs, her gaunt features, dark sunken eyes and appearance that she hadn't seen a hair brush or shower in months.

There was an unsavoury dark nature about her that he seemed to recognised well but he pushed away the thoughts of comparison between them. He moved to Mike's side, his friend looked terrible; staring at him like he were a ghost. Tom couldn't help but feel the guilt of failing Mike even though he rationally knew it wasn't his fault.

"Mike!, Mike! Can you hear me?" Tom demanded, but Mike didn't see him, if anything he looked straight through him. He turned his attention to the door, watched as the men put charges on hinges of the door.

"I can hear them coming, hurry up." Miller shouted over his shoulder.

"Hand me one more." Burk said to Wolf, the man tossed him another charge and he placed the last charge onto the door frame. It would be a nice surprise, for the men who were going to breach the door.

"Fletcher, here you go." Danny said tossing the man button to detonate the explosives and line cord before rushing to take position away from the door.

"Everyone take cover." Fletcher told them, the remaining men at the door ran from the door and took up position waiting for the enemy to greet them.

* * *

Mike found it hard to breathe, it was like he was caught between worlds. The one where he wanted to stay with his family and the other was here in the middle of a gun battle. He could see all their faces blur and then focus; all worried about him but also caught up in what was happening.

"Let's go, Nathan James, where's that helo?" Danny shouted into his radio, Mike wondered what the response was but then a second later the man added "It's now or never, Sunshine!"

"It'll be ok Mike." Tom told him, Mike looked up at his friend wondering if he were real or just a ghost of his imagination. His mind pulled him away from the chaos and hell.

There he was standing in front of a grill, making sure Hannah's burger was one inch away from being ash in the wind. Just how she liked it. He took a sip of his beer as he watched the kids play in the park. It was just how a Fourth of July should be celebrated. It felt good to kick back and do normal day activities, to be home with the family after so many long months away.

"Mike." He turned and smiled as Tom ambled over to him.

"Meant to give you this." Tom said as he pulled a cap out from behind his back. Mike placed his beer down and took the cap. He smiled at the logo.

"Spear of the Navy, huh?" Mike asked as he read the embroidery on the cap.

"Damn right." Tom said, Mike lifted the lid on the BBQ to see how much life was left in Hannah's beef patty. "So, it's last minute FRAGO. They want us to escort some scientist to the Arctic. Quick deployment just for the summer." Tom told him, his face pinched in annoyance as he didn't want to leave as much as Mike.

"Yeah, but it's summer for the camping trips, no fishing, no Dad." Mike argued, he never pushed orders but he wanted it noted that he wasn't happy given this mission wasn't time sensitive. It was a joy ride for some egghead who wanted to ruin the first 3 months of R&R they were supposed to have after a year out at sea. It wasn't fair.

"You tell them yet?" Tom asked him, Mike shook his head.

"Tonight." Mike said, a stick snapped and he turned to see Lucas. He stood there looking so hurt by the news as he clutched his ball. He'd obviously come over to see Mike wanted to play.

"Lucas" he started, but his son dropped the ball and ran away. "Lucas!" Mike called out, but his son wouldn't stop. So Mike took after him in earnest. "Lucas!" he called out.

* * *

"Can't wait on that helo, Fletcher. Let her go!" the man by the door shouted over the gunfire that was coming through the door. Naz pointed her weapon at the door, not even flinching or dodging like the others as bullets whizzed through the door and past them. She just waited for the door to be opened and the helo to come pick them up.

"10-inch steel!" the Brit shouted, Naz closed her eyes and looked away as the door was blown off its hinges. Debris and dusted landed all around them as Omar's men tried to come through the door to kill them. They barely made it through the door before they were cut down. While their general location wasn't ideal, this position had it's advantages.

* * *

As Mike ran through the forest,fire crackers erupted through the area. Mike tried not to flinch as he reminded himself it wasn't gunfire, just harmless fire crackers being set off in celebration.

"Lucas! Where are you, buddy?!" Mike called as he looked everywhere for a sign of his son. He kept moving, trusting his instincts as he moved through the woodland. He was right as he caught sight of him running, he slowed confused as he saw two men- Miller and Burk standing to side firing their weapons.

He frowned as it was right, he didn't want to be right, he blinked and he was no longer in forest. He was back on the cathedral tower, he looked around at his friends firing them weapons and to Naz- the woman who'd kept him alive and gotten him and the seeds this far. She held her weapon with ease and fired off a few rounds in a precise and measured manner, as she was economising her use of ammo, yet she was out in the open like a fool with a death wish.

He turned his eyes to where they were shooting to see men at the door; drop to the ground dead. Mike didn't want to be here. He needed to find Lucas. His heart stopped as he saw a small figure come out of the haze of his blurry vision. It was Lucas, he ran straight to him, just as the man behind him was shot in the head. Mike had no idea what was happening but a warmth of relief and love washed over him as Lucas took up all of his vision. Mike reached out for him, Lucas just smiled at him.

"Lucas." He said, his mind drifting back to exactly where he wanted to be. He ran through the forest and looked up. There he was, up in the trees.

"Hey, Lucas, hey.I know it's a few months, and that's a long time, but I'll still read your bedtime stories." Mike said as he looked up at his son. He looked so upset and angry; it broke Mike's heart as he didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay with his family, with all his heart and every fibre of his being.

"How?" Lucas demanded, his face splotchy as he'd been crying.

"I'll make recordings before I deploy. You can play a chapter every night." Mike offered. Lucas mulled over his offer before looking back at him.

"Well, maybe I could record something for you, too." Lucas said, accepting the fact Mike was leaving and finding a compromise. He like his sisters were always the best of Mike and Christina's qualities.

"I'd love that." Mike told him, his son would never realise how much he relished every piece of home he could carry with him when he was deployed. "Now, let's get you down." He said, he took in the large tree trying to figure out the best option. He raised his hands up into the air.

"Ok, all you gotta do is jump, buddy. I'll catch ya." Mike promised Lucas, he heard the sound of Helicopter rotor blades swiping through the looked for the source but couldn't see it. So he turned his attention to Lucas.

"Now's the time. I'll catch you. I promise." Mike said to his son, his arms out stretched. Lucas gave a nod, proving his complete faith in Mike, he jumped from the branches. Mike's vision snapped, his heart jolted with a start as he looked up at Naz and Tom. He smelt the blood and ocean air, heard the rotors going. He was back in hell, all he could think was that Lucas was falling to his death on the other side. He needed to get back.


	4. Chapter 4

"Woah! Easy, Mike. We got the seeds. You can let go now!" Tom shouted over the noise as he caught his friend's hands with his own. Mike looked confused and panicked as he had reached up into the air for something but as he saw Tom and where he was his expression filled with anguish.

"He doesn't give a shit about your seeds." Naz shouted at Tom as she pushed at Tom to move back so she could treat Mike. She was right, Mike wasn't with them, he didn't care that he was safe as he looked completely traumatized being back in their reality.

"I wanna go back." Mike murmured in a grief stricken voice. Tears slid down his temples, as he shook his head and gave a shaky breath trying to escape his emotions and the pain of his injuries.

"I know, I know, just stay still, you'll get back there." Naz told Mike, in a soothing yet empathetic manner as she pulled one of Mike's arm's down and reattached the IV drip to his arm. Tom looked to Sasha who shared a concerned expression with him. Mike grew calm, as he turned his face away and slipped back into a twilight state.

"What's our ETA?" Naz asked Sasha, she held out her hand for more supplies as Sasha was closest to the med kit.

"Not much longer, med team is on standby." Sasha shouted to her over the noise, she pointed out the door. Naz looked to the ship in the distance before going back to looking after Mike. Padding his wound from the exterior as he'd bled through the gauze that had been packed inside.

Sasha pulled a headset from the roof and passed it to her. She watched as the woman deftly pulled the head set on one handed and held the other to Mike's wound.

* * *

Ten minutes,

The helo touched down on the flight deck of the Nathan James. Naz pulled the headset off her head, the woman to her right placed it back into a hook above their heads. The flight crew came out with stretcher a long with medics. A man rushed before them, he had kind face with a bald head and glasses.

"I'm Rios, I'll take over from here." he shouted over the noise, identifying himself as the man she spoke to on the radio.

Naz nodded and moved back to let the crew take over. She watched as they pulled Mike's body into the stretcher and took over his care, rushing him quickly into the ship. She sat back on her feet and blew out a breath as she had reached her limit. She was sweaty and woozy covered in blood, but it wasn't hers.

The cacophony of noise and activity was too much for her. The madness of the day, the Nostos in her blood and the ship was too much. She ripped off the surgical gloves she had been wearing. She pressed her hands to her face to block out at least one of her senses.

"Ms Khan?" a voice shouted over the noise, Naz took a couple slow breaths and pulled her hands away to see the American with the wildest blond beard looking at her with concern.

"Yes," She said, her stomach rolling as she felt all the blood drain downwards to her feet. She had over extended herself.

"Are you ok?" he asked, Nas shook her head.

"I need a minute." She told him, even if the location wasn't ideal, she just needed a moment to rest.

"Come on, we'll get you inside where you can sit down." He told her, he clipped his rifle to his vest and held out two hands to her. Naz took another deep breath and gripped his arms in a monkey grip. With his strength, he pulled her to her feet and helped her out of the helo. She wavered on her feet but he gripped her by the elbow to steady her.

"This your first time on a US Naval vessel?" he asked conversationally as they slowly made their way to Helo bay following the others. He released her elbow to allow her the dignity of getting there under her own steam.

"Yeah, Thanks." She told him.

"It's us, who owe you the thanks." He told her.

* * *

An hour later,

"What a mess." Meylan said, not mincing his words as he and the others stood around the wardroom table. James, Sasha, Kara and Jeter all exchanged looks like a silent shorthand that made Tom feel rather isolated as he stood alone at the other end of the table. Meylan looked pissed, he didn't look happy to see Tom at all, not that he said as much. Yet.

"We have the seeds and Mike will make it." Sasha said, racking up the wins of the day instead of counting the losses and issues they were now facing.

"Who is our new guest?" Meylan asked them, he knew the woman's name and scuttlebutt spoke volumes of Tom's appearance. But instead of dealing with Tom, he needed to question the woman. Her presence was more questionable than Tom's. He felt the crew's mistrust at his reappearance, the only person who'd saluted him was Jeter. The rest made themselves busy and looked away.

"Nasrin Khan, she's in medical under supervision. She's AFP-" Sasha started before Tom cut her off.

"Or Interpol." Tom said, speaking for the first time.

"She can be both, Interpol is all about facilitating international police cooperation." Sasha said feeling the need to defend the woman in question. Sasha passed the IDs to Meylan so he could inspect them. "Those IDs can be verified with a couple of phone calls." she added.

Meylan passed them over to Kara, silently making it her task. She gave a nod as she picked up the IDs but she barely took a step away from the table when James spoke up.

"Actually, I can vouch for her identity." James Fletcher said somewhat reluctantly.

"You know her?" Tom asked, suspicious of the man vouching for a complete stranger. Wondering why he wouldn't mention it before when he heard the woman's name over the radio.

"It's been a while, I didn't make the connection until I saw her picture in the IDs. She had been in a better state last time I saw her." James said, it was clear he was choosing his words carefully and defensive at Tom's clear disdain for him.

"How do you know her?" Meylan asked James, needing clarification.

"She was conscripted into the Coalition forces during the Immune wars." James told the room.

"Conscripted." Meylan said, not liking the word. He'd heard it being bandied around briefing back home. Not that the US considered it for their people. But the issue was that the EU and UK had used it to supplement their armed forces. Meylan while disagreed with the practice of Conscription, he understood it was necessary evil of the post pandemic world. Without those people, the EU and UK could've potentially lost the war which had begun to bleed into the US. He knew the US had been lucky in that respect.

"Not our finest hour, all stranded foreigners of good heath between the ages of 18 and 45 from allied countries were conscripted into service. In return, their families were given protection, shelter and food. When the war was over, they'd be given free passage home." He explained, he could see the judgement in their expressions. "We conscripted our own citizens as well, it was wartime and done so out of necessity to win the war." He added.

"So you served with her?" Sasha asked him, James shook his head.

"No, I've met her once very briefly at an award ceremony. She was one of our highly decorated soldiers. Hero for an hour and promoted with others to show international cooperation in taking down the Immunes and stopping the spread of the Immune cult. After we won and our victory lap was had. Everyone wanted to forget about the bloody wars and what we'd lost." James said with a shrug.

"Why didn't she go home to Australia?" Sasha asked him.

"Our Air Force and Navy were decimated. We had no way of getting her and the others stranded like her back to their country of origin. They either stayed in the UK or drifted away into the continent as the benefits dried up in the famine" James told them, he ignored the judgement of those in the room as he was used to it. He also knew they would never understand the depth of the situation as the US had been incredibly lucky. He did his best not to resent them for it.

"Mike said she could come aboard. But he was injured and any deal he made shouldn't be honored as it was made under duress. Just my two cents." Tom said, everyone looked at him with mixed expressions. Meylan and Sasha looked annoyed at him, Jeter looked disappointed while Kara and James were doing their best to stay out of it.

"So, you're suggesting that we drop her off at the next port?" Sasha asked Tom, not that it was his decision to make. But he seemed to believe it was his place.

"Yes." Tom said plainly.

"Even though that would go against Maritime and International law?" Sasha asked.

"It's not-" he started but James cut him off.

"She's a refugee, who got caught in the middle of our operation and joined our side. We're lucky we even stumbled across her, let alone that she would even go out of her way to help us. That should mean she deserves some consideration." James told Tom. He really didn't like the man as he seemed intent on tearing any sense of group cohesion.

"She knew the risks. If she's a soldier, she can look after herself. We should send her on her way with some supplies and continue on." Tom argued, he knew he sounded like an asshole but he just didn't want to risk the seeds or the crew by taking the woman with them.

"I guess you're expecting the same treatment." James told him with a smarmy closed lip smile. Tom looked ready to bite at James' bait.

"Hey- cool it." Meylan said as he could see a fight brewing.

"Omar's men saw her, Mike left a blood trail to her place and locals will sell her out for food in a heartbeat. We drop her off anywhere along the way, she's dead." Sasha said, her tone brokered no argument as she stated the facts. She didn't need the woman on her conscience after what happened to Mahmoud.

"She could be a spy. We shouldn't be keeping her on board." Tom said firmly, he knew the hypocrisy of his words but no one could call him on it.

"A decision that is not yours to make." Meylan told Tom, ending the argument. He looked to Kara, "Make the calls, I want that ID confirmed and any information you can get on Ms Khan." he ordered.

"Yes, Sir." Kara said leaving the room.

"I'll talk with Ms Khan and make my own assessment. We'll reconvene in an hour." he said dismissing them.

* * *

"Their security is shit, a monkey could pick that lock." Elias told her as he pointed to the tiny fridge that the seeds were stored in. Naz sat on the bunk watching him move around the room, "There's not even a guard at the door. You'd think given the amount of people they killed for a tube of chickpeas, they'd at least pretend to put a show." He added.

"Shut up." Naz murmured at Elias, he was such an busybody which had made him an exceptional cop. Even she could connect the dots in her state with what she knew from her time on Sardinia to her past like as a cop herself.

"You say something?" Rios asked as he looked up from the clip board he was writing on to look at her.

"The humming." She said tiredly as she gestured to the air vent in the room, he gave a kind smile.

"Ship's engine and air conditioning system. You'll get used to it." he assured her, she pushed up from the bed and walked into the main room; dragging her IV with her. The fluids had helped quite a lot and the jerky bar she'd been given. She couldn't remember the last time she ate meat. She was savoring the food given to her in case it was the last.

"How is he?" she asked as she moved to Mike's beside. He was sleeping fitfully, a side effect of the Nostos.

"Stable, the drug you gave him seems to have quite the grip on him." Rios remarked as he made some final notes on Mike's chart.

"Nostos tea, it's made a weed that was evolved by the virus. It has hallucinogenic effect." Naz told him.

"You going to tell him about me?" Elias asked Naz as he stood beside her with his arms folded.

"I may have overdosed him." Naz said ignoring Elias' comment. Rios looked up from his notes with a surprised expression.

"You're a habitual user." Rios stated, there was no hiding that fact given the state she was in. She saw no point in lying, Mike was important to these people, they needed him. She however wasn't, so the least she could do was help them until the promise asylum was reneged on.

"He has you pegged." Elias quipped.

"Yes, started over a year and half ago. I gave him enough to take away his physical pain but it's not exact science for me. I also just didn't take into account that my blood might have affected him." She told him, Rios shook his head as he knew about her blood transfusion. He'd taken some of her blood for testing to make sure she pass on something nasty to Mike.

"Should be negligible but I can't say for sure. I've never encountered Nostos before, do you know how long the effects last?" he asked her, Naz gave a shrug as she couldn't help but think Mike was the lucky one. He was surrounded by people who cared for him.

"He'll be out of it for a couple days, his moods will be..." she tried to find a word to fit what she felt. "Fine, I can't explain it. It's like feeling nothing yet feeling at peace and then it will be over." Naz lied by omission. She couldn't explain the docility she felt, how it numbed her but underneath it all she felt the deep undercurrent of her emotions brewing but trapped behind a wall. She just wasn't sure if it was the Nostos or if she had compartmentalised her emotions so extremely to the point she could no longer truly feel or experience them.

"Have you tried to get clean before?" Rios asked, she shook her head.

"It was the only comfort I could find after everything..." she drawled to a stop not finishing her sentence as she drifted into her thoughts.

"I'm not judging." Rios assured her in a kind voice, she gave him a small smile.

"I don't care if you do." Naz assured him, she truly didn't.

"Ms Khan." A man stated, as he stood in the doorway, Naz noted his rank and name on his uniform as he came into the room. He paused to look at Mike for a moment before he turned to her. "

"I'm Captain Meylan." He said introducing himself as he held out his hand to her.

"You may call me Naz, Mrs Khan was my mother in law and she was a horrible woman." Naz told him, the quip made him smile.

"He looks official." Elias said at Naz's shoulder but she ignored him.

"How are you?" Meylan asked her.

"Better for the medical care of your Doctor. Thank you to you both." Naz said sincerely.

"I wanted to speak with you, I'm wondering what our CO agreed to." Meylan said as he gestured for them to sit in the other room.

"Asylum to America." Naz said as she moved to the bed and sat down as Meylan pulled up a stool. She sagged down placing her elbows on her thighs as she felt a bone deep exhaustion that came from never getting her way and knowing there was a fight before her.

"He doesn't have the power to grant asylum." Meylan told her.

"What happened to honouring a deal." Elias said with disgust. He rolled his eyes and left the room. Naz kept her mouth shut as she looked to Meylan. She knew the reneg on her deal wasn't personal but it felt like it was. Yet she couldn't be angry, her past tended to ruin her future.

"Your President can. You wouldn't give me the time of day unless you checked my creds. So why can't I have asylum? Is it that America isn't taking refugees? or is that you won't temporarily allow me a visitor visa because I an ex-soldier? You're afraid that I'm so damaged I'm a threat to your people?" Naz asked him, in a pragmatic tone, she just wanted answers and was glad her emotions were so deeply buried she couldn't tap into them.

"Why didn't you return to Australia?" he asked, Naz ran a hand through her hair as she hated this question.

"I tried, the UK and EU's resources were decimated during the war. I even tried the US Military bases in Naples and Rota when they reopened but they wouldn't assist me." she told him.

"Why?" he asked with a frown.

"I'm not a US citizen, Australia is too far away and what does America get out of helping some people go home? Nothing but gratitude and that won't feed anyone or refuel the airplane. It's an extravagance no one can afford at the moment." Naz informed him, there was no bitterness or anger. Just a resignation to facts. She had given up the anger and hate a long time ago.

"So, you resent US?" Meylan asked, he wouldn't blame her as he knew she was right. It was cold but a lot countries including America had dwindling resources. So it meant they couldn't help everyone, it was one of the reasons America had pulled completely out of Europe and UK when the Pandemic started and never returned to help with Immune wars. They just didn't have the man power or resources to assist the war efforts. It hadn't sat well with the US allies but there was nothing they could do.

"That's laughable." Naz said snorting a laugh. "You think I want to waste what little energy I have hating strangers especially ones who could potentially get me home one day?" she asked him with a smile.

"A lot do." Meylan said, Naz shook her head and looked down at her hands. He had to admit there was quiet and peaceful quality to her presence. She carried a lot of darkness but he couldn't see any signs of anger or aggression in her.

"Not me, the world has gone to shit, everybody is struggling and I've had enough bloodshed and cruelty that I just want to live peacefully. The US is the only country left with the resources and infrastructure to actually get me back to Australia even if it takes a few years. I also need to get out of Med because helping you, I've put a target on my back." She told him.

"I doubt Omar and his men could identify you." Meylan said, she quirked an eyebrow at him.

"You're a fool if you think that and you don't look like a fool to me, Captain." She told him, Meylan gave a closed lip smile. She pointed to the fridge. "Omar and Giorgio are going to be looking for those seeds. Giorgio is back by the Greek Navy are you prepared for that?" she asked him.

"What do you know about the seeds?" He asked out of curiosity as he sat back in chair looking at her. He made mental notes of the information she was giving him.

"Not much, I'm not botanist. But what I know about Dr Paul Vellek, his son; Giorgio and Omar could fill a book. Omar would be the shortest chapter though," Naz informed him, she was purposefully obtuse as what she knew was valuable intelligence.

"You were investigating them?" Meylan asked casually as he tried to make heads and tails of her.

"I'm a cop, those skills don't switch off and when you drink Nostos long enough, you build an immunity to the hallucinogenic side effects that you have to keep drinking more for it to work. Omar and Giorgio don't hide their dealings. Why would they? Everyone is high on Nostos watching men beat the shit out of one another." Naz told him.

"But you did." Meylan stated.

"Of course, like I said I'm a cop and not everyone liked how the Immune wars ended. When you're touted publicly as a hero? Life can be a hairy let's say. So I was staying under the radar to avoid detection, I have-"

"To know what and who you're hiding from." Meylan finished it made sense to him.

"Exactly, and I was one of very few foreigners on Sardinia. My house is covered in your CO's blood and I had photos and personal belongings, they are as well connected as you. So by now they know who I am and that I could know where the seeds are." Naz told him.

"That's a lot of supposition." Meylan said.

"You think it's going to stop Omar from flaying me alive?" She asked him, she took a deep breath and exhaled, "Look, I'm smart, I have value even if my intel isn't enough. I'm an experienced officer, a field medic, I speak 5 languages and I will do whatever job you throw at me on this ship. I won't be the fat on your bone. I'll earn my keep." She promised him.

Meylan looked at her for a long moment, it hard not to take her at face value. He understood Tom's reservations but he also agreed with Sasha. They couldn't drop her off at a random port. He could tell she holding back a lot of information and it was on purpose. His gut told him that she wasn't being vindictive, nor could he see her working some hidden agenda, she was just trying to survive, something he couldn't begrudge her.

"I'll talk to my Commander in Chief to consider your case. I'm going to have someone come and talk to you about what you know about Vellek and any relevant information you can share will help us would be appreciated." He told her.

 


	5. Chapter 5

"What are you doing?" Sasha asked out of curiousity as Naz sliced up the single slice of toast with scrambled eggs into three near perfect equal portions before placing it into the middle of the table within equal distance of James, herself and Sasha.

"We're sharing right?" Naz asked confused as to what she was doing wrong. She felt like she was continuously tripping over herself and doing something wrong. Every gift of simple things like a hot shower, shampoo and conditioner, clothes were baffling as she was used to being without kindness. She was used to foregoing luxuries or sharing them so strictly there was usually nothing left. She looked down at the plate wondered what she'd done wrong, the food was cut evenly.

"No, it's just for you, you don't have to share it. Everyone is given their own portion." Sasha assured her.

"Oh," Naz said looking surprised and a flustered by their generosity. "Ok, would it be ok if I have ketchup?" she asked her.

"You'll need it. Powdered eggs aren't the greatest when Bacon hasn't prepared them." Sasha said as she passed the ketchup to her.

"We used to share whatever we could scrounge during the war. Anything to fill that hole in the gut." Naz said as she upcapped the bottle and poured a small amount onto the plate. "I ate canned oyster that had expired in '02'." She said wit a reminiscent smile.

"Good year?" James asked mockingly.

"Yeah, all that was missing was the kilpatrick sauce and champagne." Naz said with an amused smile as she piled on the salt like she believed it was a food group and not a condiment.

"Do you mind if I record this?" Sasha asked as she placed a digital recorder on the table.

"No, that's fine." Naz replied before she cut off the tiniest bit of toast and eggs. She placed it in her mouth, her stomach revolted while her mouth salivated at the small morsel of real food and the flavours it delivered. She couldn't remember the last time she had ingested something other than bread and Nostos. It to be well over a year. Tears welled in her eyes as it tasted so amazing and yet so utterly normal.

"Everything ok?" James asked her, Naz nodded as she swallowed the bite of food and pushed her emotions away to the void in her headspace and focussed on the moment. She could eat slowly and tell them what they needed to know. The currency that could buy her ticket home. Her real home, not the artifice in her mind the Nostos had built.

* * *

"My report on everything I know in regards to Giorgio, Lucia and the organisation they are running." Tom said as he handed the file over to Meylan.

"Fairly thin," Meylan remarked as he flicked through the five page report. It was slim, the problem was that Tom was supposed to stay undercover longer than he had. But he had to adapt and break cover to help Nathan James recover the seeds. A move he didn't regret. "I doubt whoever you answer to will be happy with this either." Meylan added.

"Excuse me?" Tom asked, Meylan levelled him with a droll look.

"I don't believe in fate. I don't believe in luck and it's no coincidence that you're in the med, right in the middle of our operation. So, you going to lie to my face or come clean?" Meylan asked him in a blunt manner.

"I can't go into specifics." Tom told him, he should've known better to think he could slip anything past Meylan.

"I'm not asking for a detailed report on the last 16 months. I'm just wondering who's side you're on." Meylan said in a matter of fact tone.

"I've proved which side I am on. I'm here." Tom said, a little annoyed at the insinuation that his allegiance was fickle.

"You're prone to sentimentality. Your attachment to Sasha Cooper and the crew of this ship is no secret. And then, you made a fairly compelling argument about Ms Khan being a spy where the same could be said about you." Meylan pointed out, it made Tom wonder what the Nathan James and Meylan had encountered to have such cynicism about loyalty.

"I didn't think that would come to bite me in the ass so quickly." Tom remarked humourlessly. Meylan gave a wry smile.

"Tell me if our roles were reversed, you wouldn't question my loyalty or hold the slightest doubt of my motives." Meylan said, Tom had to admit the man was right. He would question the situation and Meylan's character especially given he wouldn't know the whole story either. Meylan's expression changed to resignation, "Not that it matters as I have these for you." he said as he pulled out a file from his desk and handed it to him. "Every active ship in the fleet has a copy of those orders. There is a full Presidential pardon for any crimes you may have committed during the recent Constitutional crisis. The second page reactivates your commission, re-instituting you to the active duty rank of Captain. All that's required now is your signature and you taking the oath again." Meylan informed him.

Tom looked down at the forms, the President had kept his word. He knew right now his kids would be exfiltrated back to America as he was looking at these forms. All he had to do was sign the dotted line and he was back in the service. He just wasn't ready to so just yet.

"I left this ship for a reason." Tom said as he wasn't sure how clear the command structure was. He wasn't interested in depose Meylan or Mike from their position on the ship. He had rejoined the fight for his kids and their future. He didn't do it to get back to the Nathan James and be Captain.

"And yet somehow, here you are. This ship will always be your home as far as I'm concerned. But I won't lie to you, Master Chief has reported some mixed emotions from the crew at having you back. So for clarity and morale, you need to decide one way or the other, and soon." Meylan told him.

"I'd prefer to remain in an advisory role and become an active member of Vulture team if they need more bodies." Tom told him, drawing the lines in the sand and making it clear how he wanted to be treated, Meylan gave a nod of his head.

"You may have to step into command while Mike is recovering and if engineering needs me as we're down a CHENG." Meylan told him.

"That's fine, I just want you to know I'm not here to take back command of James." he told him.

"Is there anything you can tell me about your time abroad besides what this file has?" Meylan asked as he held up Tom's report and findings.

"It wasn't easy and I only managed to be in their sphere for a few days. I was working for US Government." Tom told him, Meylan gave a nod acknowledging his words and Tom knew Meyla had accepted him at face value. There would be no further suspicions or questions asked on the matter as they both needed to function as a team.

"Hmm, Sasha spoke with Naz, she's currently collating the information and confirming it with Fletcher. Apparently it's a lot of intel." Meylan told him, Tom made a face as he didn't trust the woman but his feelings were known on the matter. A knock sounded at Meylan's door and he called for the person to enter. The door opened and James Fletcher came in with a thick file in hand.

"Sir," He said in greeting, he flicked Tom a side glance before turning his complete attention to Meylan.

"Fletcher, what do have for me?" Meylan asked.

"We've received confirmation. Ms Khan is who she appears to be. UK Home office has provided her military personnel file and were able to source and confirm her credentials and personnel records for her previous work including the last few case files she was involved in for Interpol and AFP with our sister agencies in Italy and Australia." James handed him thick file for Meylan to look over.

"Good to know." Meylan said as he felt more at ease knowing she was who she appeared to be.

"Did your President offer asylum to her?" James asked out of curiosity.

"Yes." Meylan replied as he flipped through the files. Tom could see James was relieved by the news. It made him wonder what they were missing. "I still want a thorough vetting of her and her background before we inform her. I don't need this to bite us in the ass." he added. James gave a curt nod.

"Sounds reasonable, Sasha and I need another hour and then we'll be able to address the situation with some clarity." James informed him.

"You can add in Chandler's work." Meylan said passing over Tom's report. James took the file and flipped through the pages for a few seconds before giving Tom a somewhat patronising look.

"I appreciate it, but we've gone past vague details and vacuous insights." James said handing the report to Tom, he looked to Meylan. "I would also like Ms Khan to sit in the briefing with us. She's provided in depth information on the situation and I think if she's involved, it could shake loose any details she may have forgotten to mention the first time round." he said.

"How mentally stable is she?" Meylan asked, they were all aware of Mike's condition that while he was stable. He was mentally in a drug induced twilight that had no end in sight at the moment.

"The Nostos is wearing off, so she's looking quite drawn but she appears cognizant of her surroundings, she's transparent in her speech and emotionally neutral perhaps borderline apathetic in her manner. I don't sense any deception on her part, if that it what you're asking." James replied.

"I still don't trust her." Tom said, it was the Nostos and that Mike just happened to stumble across her path. She dosed up his best friend so he wasn't coherent enough to give them insights to who she was.

"No one has asked you to." James said in a blase manner, "I also recommend we don't allow her to have contact with the outside world, we shouldn't leave her unsupervised or to carry a weapon, and be part of away missions. But for her to sit in the briefing, a controlled environment for when we're discussing Giorgio Vellek and Omar Bin Dalik? I think it's worthwhile." James advised. Tom frowned as he wondered how much the woman really knew and if she was decoy for misinformation.

"I agree. Tell, Cooper she has the extra time and give her Chandler's report. Make sure Ms Khan is included in the briefing." Meylan said as he wasn't going to get in the middle of Tom and James' pissing match.

"Yes, Sir." James said as he reluctantly took back Tom's files and left the room. Once the door was closed, Tom turned to Meylan.

"He's an asshole." Tom told Meylan.

"Funny, I thought the same thing when I met you." Meylan told him with an amused smile.

* * *

"All right, son, all you gotta do is jump." Mike told Lucas.

"I'm a little scared." Lucas told him.

"It's okay. I'll catch ya. I promise." Mike said, he watched as his son lept out of the tree but within a blink of his eyes Mike snapped out of that vision. His heart thumped in his chest as he wasn't about his catch his son. He wasn't even in the park anymore.

"Lucas!" Mike gasped in pain not just from his wound but the agony as it sunk in that it was just a dream,

"Shh. Shh." Rios said trying to calm him, Mike looked around the NJ infirmary feeling completely overwhelmed by the smells and sounds. His heart monitor screaming at him, the humming of the engines and air conditioning, he wanted out of the bed. He wanted out of this reality.

"Shh. Captain, you're back on the James." Rios told him in a calm manner, but there was nothing to for Mike to be comforted by. "It's over now." he told him, Mike confused by his statement wondered what was over? The fight? Lucas?, it took a moment for his thoughts to gel together as realised this was real. The mission he'd been on was real, not a nightmare he wished it be.

"The seeds?" he asked Rios.

"We've got 'em. They're safe." Rios said, he stepped to the side to show a small refrigerator with the seeds safely locked inside. "They're safe." he reiterated.

"Oh, thank God." Mike sighed in relief as he relaxed back, he hadn't mucked up the mission. But he had no time to relish the relief as he felt himself slowly slip away.

"No, sir. Thank you." Rios told him, but Mike had already slipped back into his memories.

* * *

"That the guy you met in the arena?" Sasha asked Tom, testing him as she clicked a picture of Dr Paul Vellek's passport onto the screen. Meylan, Naz, James and Sasha all sat at the table while Jeter and Tom stood to the sides. It wasn't a lack of seating that had Tom on his feet. He just felt psychologically better to stand up as it denoted how much of an outsider he was. Tom wondered if Jeter stood out of loyalty to Tom but he tried not to think about it.

"He's let himself go." Tom remarked as he thought back to the man he'd spoken with at the stadium. They'd all watched a couple videos of Dr Vellek's TED talks about the future of humanity by his standards.

"Dr Paul Vellek." James said.

"One of the fathers of modern bioinformatics and computational biology. Also father to Giorgio and Lucia Vellek, who were kind enough to escort you to Sardinia." Sasha said as she clicked on the passport pictures of Giorgio and Lucia.

"There's another son, Christos, whereabouts unknown?" Meylan asked as the fourth passport photo came up on the screen of the third offspring. It was an old picture as the British passport had expired in 2009 but had still stayed in US data servers that tracked and logged all visitors to the US

"I wasn't tasked to his case but from what I heard he held some impressive qualifications. Just as brilliant as his father but not as ethically and morally bent. He was categorized as a low threat but to be monitored." Naz said.

"So he could still be out there?" Tom asked.

"I have no idea and it wasn't relevant to my investigation past a cursory look. Given your government approved him for a position in a lab stateside before the Pandemic. Well, it was enough to hand him over to NAS and FBI to monitor." Naz said with a nonchalant shrug.

"Moving back to what is relevant. According to MI6 and NAS, Vellek wasn't satisfied with boosting crop yields." James said continuing on for Naz, it looked like the two had become bosom buddies. "He wanted to re-engineer what it meant to be human. Six years ago, he banned from visiting UK and Australia due to the inflammatory nature of his work and also fled the U.S. due to illegal human experimentation and gene therapy research-"

"He ended up in the EU continuing his research and selling majority of it on the black market. Designer babies, genetic enhancements, highly experimental and effective medical treatments for rare diseases that aren't approved by any governing medical boards, he was into a lot of shady endeavours. It's how he built his fortune that backs onto Giorgio's part. He brings Daddy supplies and human guinea pigs for his research along with other reasons." Naz explained.

"You didn't arrest either of them?" Tom asked, He didn't miss the flash of annoyance from James and Sasha, clearly Tom should've read the brief before coming to the meeting but in his defense he had 10 minutes to digest a 50 page report. But what surprised him was how calm Naz was. She should've been pissed at him for questioning her. He hadn't been subtle in trying to find holes in her knowledge and shine doubt on her. But she was unruffled and disinterested by his probing.

"It takes years to build a case especially if you want it to stick. The team I was part of was focused on Giorgio and his misdeeds of trafficking of drugs, weapons and people and numerous white collar crimes. You know, to use the little fish as bait for the bigger fish. He's the key to busting the whole family." she said somewhat patronising, the closest Tom had seen to annoyance but still it was empty of emotion. She however pressed her fingers to her temples and gave a sigh like he was giving her a headache.

"So, Vellek most likely bought off of the Greeks with the promise that they'd be the first to benefit once he cured the Red Rust. Then he simply turned to Omar to steal the actual seeds. He likes his third parties to do all the heavy lifting." James remarked not missing a beat to keep the meting moving a long.

"How long did St. Louis say it would take to engineer disease-resistant crops?" Tom asked.

"A year, maybe more." Sasha replied.

"Maybe Vellek can help." Tom said, the others all looked at him. "Well, if he's really the genius everyone says he is, he may have a solution Or part of a solution Our people haven't thought of yet." Tom suggested, he could see the idea didn't float over very well as they all exchanged looks.

"Are you suggesting we work with this madman?" Meylan asked Tom.

"I'm suggesting we find him, grab him and his research, and convince him of the righteousness of our cause." Tom said, Naz scoffed a laugh before quickly silently holding one hand up in a silent apology as Meylan turned in his chair and looked at him.

"Come on." Meylan scoffed in disbelief, Tom could see why Meylan liked Naz as the two seemed to think Tom had lost his marbles. But Tom persevered.

"Let him know that cooperating with our scientists is in the world's best interest And his. If he can shave off even three months of work finding the cure that's a lot of mouths fed, a lot of lives saved." Tom pointed out, he could see James was swaying to his side which surprised him.

"Any idea where we find him then?" James asked Tom.

"There's a room in Giorgio's mansion. Only he and his sister have the key. There are files inside, log books, mostly written in code, but in one of the books there was one phrase written over and over "Sent to lab."" Tom told them.

"Vellek's lab." Jeter said.

"We find the lab, we find him." Tom said as he felt the ball rolling on this plan but it came to an abrupt stop with Meylan.

"Enough." Meylan said, he pointed to the screen, "This man's lunatic army killed dozens of our people at Rota. His Greek warship tried to sink us. And now they're actively hunting us in waters where we have dwindling supplies and zero support." Meylan added as he laid out the facts.

"There's at least four functioning Greek Warships out there. One ship against four are bad odds." Naz added, Tom frowned as he wondered how she could possibly know that when no one else in this room did. But he ignored the question he wanted to asked and implored to Meylan to see reason.

"Odds we've beaten before. Captain, we-" Tom started but Meylan cut him off.

"The seeds are in hand and we have orders from the National Command Authority to get them back to the States post haste. We'll make post at Naples in eight hours. The C-130 out of Ramstein will meet us there to fly the seeds home, where our scientists can get to work on them. That is our mission." Meylan told him, Tom saw the others in the room nodding at Meylan's words as he laid down the law.

"Understood." Tom replied, not liking how it felt to take a backseat to Meylan when he knew his way was the best way.

"That is all." Meylan said, calling an end to the meeting.

* * *

A couple hours later,

"What's bothering you?" Sasha asked James as they sat in the wardroom going over all the facts before the place was turned over for dinner service. She couldn't help but sense James' unease, she wondered if it was Tom's arrival. She hadn't told him much about Tom, but he obviously could draw enough conclusions to figure it out given how he seemed to butt heads with Tom on nearly everything.

Then she thought maybe it was their minor argument after the briefing about Vellek and Tom's idea. James had been all for it while Sasha could only see the recklessness of Tom's idea and not the merit. It wasn't that she was pissed at Tom being back, she just had a lot of unanswered questions and a lot on her plate. She also agreed with Meylan, Vellek was a madman who couldn't be trusted.

"Australian Government condemned the Immune wars, it declared any citizens who fought during the conflict are considered to be foreign fighters. As a result, their passports and citizenship were revoked. She can't go home, Sasha." James said in low voice as he dropped the pages he was looking at in a defeatist manner. He sighed and rubbed his face as if it would scrub away what he knew.

"They can't do that." Sasha said in disbelief.

"They can, they have legislation was put into place in 2011 that predates the Immune wars. It was to combat home grown terrorists and impede Australian citizens from returning to Australia if they voluntarily joined terrorist groups overseas to fight conflicts the Australian government didn't support. They recently made an amendment to include people who are conscripted and to bar them entry to the Australia." James explained.

"I thought she was a hero. I didn't expect they'd give her a fanfare but shouldn't they be allowing her back into the country?" Sasha asked, she wondered when they'd all expect the same treatment from the people. She already felt burned out by their work and how instead of supporting them, the US was more intent on destroying themselves than helping one another.

"She like everyone who fought in the immune wars are heroes. The immune wars were horrific. But Australia won't budge, they didn't have the issue of immune extremism in their country like US or EU. They co-existed peacefully with one another as they strove to survive together or at least that's what I've been told. Home Office said that people back in Australia consider her and any other Australian soldier conscripted into the Immune wars to be traitors." James spat out in disgust. "It's bloody ridiculous." he added in frustration.

"Does she know?" Sasha asked him.

"No, I seriously doubt it. Australian news doesn't travel this far. I only found out today when I was confirming her credentials. Imagine being abandoned so completely." James told her, she gave a shrug and shook her head as if to say it was beyond her but it wasn't she did know how it felt to be abandoned. It had happened in China and the same feeling when Tom had left her 16 months ago but she hadn't dwell too deeply on it. Instead she picked herself up quickly and dedicated herself to the mission.

"It's not easy, but she's given us a lot of solid intel which will go a long way with the US. We'll give her safe harbour." Sasha said to him.

"Do you think I should tell her?" James asked Sasha. She shook her head.

"No, and don't tell anyone else either as it's all she holding on to. If we tell her or she finds out from a third party, it could unravel her, right now we need what she knows." Sasha said, she knew it was cruel to withhold the information but there was also a kindness to keeping it quiet.


	6. Chapter 6

Tom sat down opposite Naz in the mess hall and watched her as she stirred her cup of hot water, watching the liquid swirl around. A crew member stood to the distance keeping an eye on her, obviously her guard; Tom wondered how it didn't chafe on her. But it wasn't the most important question in his mind.

"What's the deal with the Greek Navy? How do you know how many ships they have?" he asked her, she looked up from cup.

"Hi, how are you? I'm ok, not fantastic but I got a nice facsimile of it." Naz remarked in a dazed expression as she looked to the empty seat beside him like there were someone sitting there.

"Answer the questions." Tom told her bluntly.

"I already have, to Ms Cooper and her colleague Mr Fletcher. Anyway, you should already know the answer as you were in Giorgio's operation. It's not a state secret that the food he sources from the locals go to feeding his fighters and the Greek navy. Or are you testing me? Is this you trying to bad cop me?" Naz asked him with clear suspicion of his motives yet at the same time mocking him.

"These are my people and I want to protect them. I think that you're a spy." Tom told her not mincing his words.

"Or are you just throwing suspicion on me so no one looks at you as a spy?" she asked in amusement, he realised their location was not ideal as people were coming and going. Not to mention her guard could hear everything.

"I'm not a spy." Tom told her.

"Oh, so I can believe you? Yet if I make the same claim. I'm lying?" She asked with a bored tone. "Seems like quite the double standard. Which is funny, given you were actually inside their camp; beating people up and laying pipe to Lucia. Then you 'broke' cover to help the Americans- these people except you made a 'mistake' that nearly led to Captain Slattery nearly getting killed. My personal favourite, him being lost on the island bleeding to death with the seeds that everyone needs. I just happened to get lucky as Captain Slattery stumbled my way. I kept him alive and relatively out of harm's way and got him to the LZ that somehow makes me the untrustworthy one. Interesting." She said, she gave a closed lip smile of amusement which he didn't appreciate.

"I know what you're doing." He told her, he knew she was baiting him; trying to draw information out of him.

"Pushing suspicion off myself and onto an easy target? Oh wait, that's what you're doing." She replied as she looked down at her cup of water. She gave a chuckle and shook her head.

"I'm not doing that, nor do I have to defend myself or explain my actions to you." Tom told her.

"I didn't ask you to. Why would I? You're the Captain who walked away and disappeared to watch the world burn from afar. I heard the songs and stories." she said with an amused smile as she sipped her water. "They used you as a story of hope for the people, I on the other hand found it depressing. You made some incredible feats, no doubt. But it was insignificant in the long run." Naz told him.

"A lot of people would beg to differ." Tom said infuriated by her inference.

"I'm sure," She replied, Tom opened his mouth to defend himself but she continued, "But then what would I really know? According to you, I'm just a evil spy who despises you all and will betray you and these people because I have nothing better to do with my Thursday afternoon." she told him with an amused closed lip smile.

"I didn't-"

"Oh, but you inferred it with your lack of manners. Coming in here demanding answers and inferring that 'I know what I'm doing' as if you believe I'm playing some kind of con. I've been upfront as I possibly can. Are you trying to get me killed?" she asked him, Tom sat back as it was the first time he'd seen her show any real emotion. Right now she looked scared and slightly panicked that belied her calm tone and false demeanour.

"What? No," he told her incredulously.

"Oh, so you you like to stir paranoia and trouble wherever you go?" she asked him, she looked at him like she was trying to understand him.

"No." he told her.

"You're a leader whether you want to be or not. That means you're responsible for your deportment, you infer I'm a spy, they will believe it. They will treat me as such, then I get to look forward to someone knifing me in my sleep." She told him in a matter of fact tone, like she was speaking from experience.

"We're not like that." Tom told her, he had to wonder what crazy hell she'd been through.

"How can I have faith in you or anything you say when you won't give me the same respect?" She asked him.

"You have no idea what I've been through, if you had- you'd know why I can't trust you at face value." Tom told her as honestly as he could. How could he tell her that he didn't trust her because of past experience. He may know it's not right to be suspicious of her. All he could think of was Allison Shaw and her cronies.

"We've all gone through hell and been burned. You're not special, you're burned out. I can say that as I'm the kettle calling you the pot-black. Without Nostos, I don't have the energy to deal with your ego." Naz informed him, she rose from the chair but Tom caught by the wrist, a bold move but he wasn't going to leave without her answer.

"You didn't answer my question. How did you know?" Tom asked.

"There isn't much to my life on Sardinia; drink Nostos, watch ships come in to port and leave, watch helos come and go. Then go to fights, eat some bread and take in the atmosphere. That was my life." She gave a shrug, "So of course, I'll notice patterns like seeing the same ships and helos come and go even the same people coming and going. Why? because once upon a time, I was a cop and damn good one." she told him as she yanked her hand out of grip and walked away.

* * *

A few hours later,

"It wasn't like any acid trip I'd ever heard of." Mike shook his head, finding the right description of what he experienced was harder than he'd expected. "No. It was more like time travel. Everything about it was real. The smell of her perfume, the softness of my kids' hair. Seeing them, all of us together again" he took a sharp breath as pain pierced his heart as grief welled within him.

"Oh, it was perfect. And just like that, they were gone. I'd lost them again. And the wound was re-opened." Mike said, he winced as he felt like crap and yet his emotions were a jumbled mess. The only thing that resonated strongly was his keen loss. "But it was worse this time, because I had 'em. I had 'em, Russ." he told Jeter, trying to get his friend to understand and yet Mike didn't know how to describe it any better than he had. "I was home." he said, he felt the conviction of his truth.

"But you have to remember, it wasn't real." Jeter told him, Mike could see the concern in his friend's features as he looked a mix of envy but also fear for Mike. "It's the drug." Jeter reiterated.

"What if someone told you that you could go back? Pick a time and a place, see your wife and kids. Wouldn't you be curious to try?" Mike asked him.

"No," Jeter replied, Mike could see the man was lying and Mike knew why. It sounded crazy and it wasn't great to confessing that Mike would give anything to slip back into that bliss even if he knew it wasn't real. Just one last trip before he closed the door for good.

There behind Jeter, Christine stood in the door way. She leaned on the door frame and smiled at him. Mike rubbed a hand down his face and when he looked back; she was gone.

"Rios told me, it will take a while for the drugs to leave your system. Ms Khan informed him that your symptoms will dissipate." Jeter assured him.

"How is she?" he asked.

"Ms Khan has been an asset to the mission. She's been granted asylum to the US. As for her health and behaviour? she is disconcerting." Jeter said generously.

"Disconcerting?" Mike asked curiously as Jeter was usually more open minded.

"She mumbles to herself as if speaking to someone who isn't there and she slips into twilight states. She's rather emotionally flat. Captain Chandler criticised her work as a cop and she barely flinched nor did she show any anger or annoyance. It was like she had no fight in her." Jeter explained, Mike frowned as he couldn't think of anyone who wouldn't bite back at their work being criticised.

"I'd like to speak to her." Mike told him, he appreciated talking to Jeter but he'd found no real comfort from his words. He figured maybe someone like Naz who used Nostos on the regular could give him some insight into what he was feeling and how to cope. Instead of reassuring him it was just a drug and he'd get over it. He knew what he needed, he needed someone to acknowledge the truth of Nostos and to commiserate.

"I can have her brought down for you." Jeter told him.

"Yeah, I'd appreciate it." Mike told him.

* * *

"Can I ask you a question?" Wolf asked Naz, she stopped humming and opened her eyes to look across at the man opposite her. She wished people would leave her alone as everything felt like a test, one she was failing for sure. All she wanted was to enjoy the last dregs of Nostos in her.

Her mind had been drifting into happier memories. The Nostos was fading from her system as her visions were fuzzier and harder to picture with the clarity she had before. Elias had gone quiet but he still sat at the table watching her, she could sense his despair and sadness as he felt it too. He was slipping away. She pushed the grief away and focused on the present.

"Sure." Naz said sitting up in her chair. She hadn't left the mess as she didn't know where else to go. She also had to admit it was nice to sit somewhere that smelt of food. Real food and not a fragment of her sensory memories.

"The bullets in your gun have crosses etched into the ends." Wolf said as he placed one on the table. Naz picked it up and looked at it between her fingers.

"I got them off an Immune soldier. They believed in some bullshit rhetoric that if they shot their enemy between the eyes with this special ammo, then it would release the non immunes soul to heaven. Soul in heaven is one less demon or ghost to ruin the Eden that was to come. But we won the war so came the Red Rust, as apparently God's pissed at us non immunes not getting the message." Naz remarked in a nonchalant manner.

"That's a new one." Wolf remarked, taken back as he like majority on the ship heard dribs and drabs about the Immune wars from news on the TV when they were cleared for comms. But the wars were played out like a footnote as US liked to focus on their victories and growth. Azima barely went into details as she was keeping a positive outlook. Fletcher was closed lipped about basically anything that wasn't pertinent to the mission.

"Not if you fought in the Immune wars. May I keep this?" she asked him.

"Sure." Wolf replied as he didn't see any harm in it.

"Thanks." Naz said as she pocketed the bullet.

"Ms Khan,"

"Yes?" She asked, she turned to see Master Chief Jeter standing a couple feet away.

"Captain Slattery would like to speak with you." He informed her.

"Ok." Naz said, she rose from her chair. "Thank you for the memento." she told Wolf before she followed Jeter back to the infirmary.

* * *

Tom stood in the comms room waiting for Granderson to get his daughter on the radio. He mulled over his ghosts and signing the papers Meylan had given him. He knew he would sign them, it was just a matter of time. He just wondered how the crew would take it.

He thought of Kat, the last place he'd expected her to be was on the Nathan James yet she was here. He remembered how she looked at him in the Helo bay when he first arrived. She wasn't happy, and she wasn't the only one. He'd seen her and Diaz in the p-ways, he couldn't help but notice how much she and Diaz had grown since he last seen them. They were no longer kids but yet they hadn't become adults.

Though the disappointment and pain was palpable from both of them. He knew Diaz wouldn't be hard to win over. He was in the same group as many of the younger sailors. They saw him as a father figure, he had walked away from them which was construed as abandoning them but they'd forgive him as soon as he took the oath.

Kat? well, he had abandoned her and left her alone, he'd neglected his duties as not just a friend of her father's but also as a Captain. It was his duty to talk to her about Tex and his death. He'd never gone to her, he left her to her own devices and never checked once checked on her. It was a guilt that gnawed at him. Clearly Kat despised him for his actions.

He blew out a breath as he couldn't seem to turn on his friendly charm that won people over. Remembering Naz, not that he cared about her or her opinion of him but it was surprising to have someone call him out on his crap. But then he had little empathy for Nostos users. To him, it was a choice to escape reality and a waste of time.

"Sir?" Lt Granderson said dragging Tom out of his thoughts.

"Yes," he replied.

"Your daughter is on the line." She told him.

"Thank you, Lieutenant." He said, he picked up the headset and adjusted the microphone. "Ashley?" he asked.

"Dad?" Ashley replied. The line was clogged with a lot of static but he could still hear her.

"Yes, how are you?" Tom asked her.

"Ok, we're on our way back to Norfolk. They wouldn't let us say goodbye to Yaya or Cali." Ashley informed him, he could tell she was upset. He knew she was probably pissed as he had left without warning and now she'd been ripped from her home and people she knew yet again.

"I know, the agreement was only for you and Sammy. I had hoped you'd have time to say goodbye but-" Tom started but Ashley cut him off.

"I know, the Navy has it's own schedule. We just live by it." Ashley replied in a dull resigned voice.

"I'm sorry." Tom told her.

"It's ok, so we're going to be living with Mrs Foster. You know that Sammy and I can live at home without supervision. I can take care of it all." Ashley told him.

"I appreciate that, but I'd feel better if you were with friends." Tom told her.

"Yeah, whatever, so how are you? are you back on the Nathan James?" Ashley asked changing the topic as she had zero fight in her. Something he didn't like as he knew it was partially his fault.

"Yeah, I'm back for now and doing well." Tom said, he ignored the look of annoyance and disappointment on Lt Granderson's face at his lack of commitment. Or maybe she was judging him for how he was treating his kids like they were just luggage to shuffle around.

"A sailor belongs at sea." Ashley told him. Tom inwardly sighed as he wished he could make her happy but it seemed like an impossible task. Especially over a dodgy comm channel and he felt at this stage; his kids needed him to be present. Not off fighting but he didn't have that luxury, his children didn't have that luxury. He just hoped one day they would understand.

"Listen, Ash, I can't talk long and there's a lot I can't say, but I need you to know, I'll finish this thing and come home to you and your brother as soon as I possibly can." Tom promised.

"I know, Dad." Ashley replied in a resigned manner. She obviously didn't believe him but he couldn't do anything but finish this mission quickly to prove he wasn't going against his word.

"Take care of yourself and your brother." Tom told her.

"We-" Ashley started but the static overtook the airwaves.

"Ashley?" Tom called, but all he heard was static.

"I can try and raise them again?" Granderson offered, Tom shook his head and pulled off the headset off and placed it back into it's holder.

"No, we said everything we needed to." He told her, "Thank you, Lieutenant." He added.

"Anytime, Sir." Granderson replied.

* * *

"Hey." Naz said as she knocked on the doorway to announce herself. Mike winced as Rios recovered his wound with a fresh gauze as he sat on the bed in the main part of the room. Rios looked between the two before snapping his gloves off.

"I'm going to take a 15 minute break in the mess if you need me." Rios said leaving them. He preempted Mike's need for privacy and provided it as he left the room and closed the door behind him.

"I was told you wanted to speak with me." Naz said as she moved to the chair and sat down with a tired sigh.

"I wanted to see how you were and to thank you." Mike said honestly.

"No thanks required. Doctor Rios says you'll live." Naz replied in a casual manner, but they both knew the truth. She had kept him alive; even if she was motivated by reward, he was still here because of her. A debt, he didn't know how to repay.

"Yeah, for what it's worth." Mike replied dryly for humour's sake.

"Quite a lot in my books." Naz gave a closed lip smile, "How are you feeling?" she asked in a more serious manner.

"I have a lot of questions." Mike told her, he twisted the wedding ring on his finger. He thought about his experiences with Nostos and how it all affected him- still affected him.

"Shoot." Naz said.

"How long does it last?" he asked in a low voice, not trusting the thickness of the walls.

"Which part? The twilight states? Hallucinations? The emotional dissociation?" Naz asked plainly.

"All of the above."

"Twilights should be over for you very soon." she said in a low voice, so low he could barely hear her but he knew she was doing this for his benefit. "You will have a ghosts or whispers like you see people you've been hallucinating out of the corner of your eye, but when you look there is nothing or they'll be in the room like a full blown integration of reality and hallucination-"

"How long does that last?" Mike asked cutting her off as he didn't need further explanation. He knew what she was talking about as Lucas sat on the floor colouring in his story about a seal in the Navy. He was just a hallucination, it was painful to watch as he would never get Lucas or his family back. It wasn't just that, it was also his drive. He just felt nothing and he was weirdly content about it. It was wrong.

"I don't know, maybe a day or so. You're a one time user." Naz offered.

"The emotional part?" He asked, she shook her head before she looked away and gave small smile.

"I actually like that part of Nostos. It takes away that urge to fight, the anger and resentment at having to fight when everything is just so completely lost. It also stops you from stupidly fighting for things that are in the end irrelevant." Naz said with a sigh, Mike found the concept unsettling while Naz looked relieved by it. But even now, he could tell she was struggling as she was starting to withdraw from Nostos.

"It also amplifies pain." Mike added to keep the conversation going.

"You know that pain killers mask the pain. They don't get rid of it. So yeah, the pain comes back even worse than before. It's usually why you take more drugs. Just continuously drown it out until you can breathe again and function like a normal person." She told him.

"So you think it's worth it?" Mike asked her, talking about the addiction to Nostos as he could understand her reasons for being an addict. There were moments when he had just wanted to drown out his pain until he was pleasantly numb. He was human like everyone else. He just wanted to know how she saw it as she had lived on the other side of coping with grief.

"In the long run? No, you just get lost in it and it bleeds over into your 'real' life. It makes the grief eat at you and as much as you want to be angry; you can't summon it. Instead you have this peaceful resignation. That this is how everything is supposed to be and somehow that's ok like it's meant to be that way." Naz said with a shrug. She didn't look convinced by her words.

"Yeah, I know that feeling well." Mike said with a sardonic laugh, "But it isn't supposed to be or feel like this. It's not ok and nothing is how it's meant to be. Even if what you say is true. That presupposes that the future is written and I can't imagine someone being so maliciously cruel to make so many people suffer what we have. Don't start talking about God and bibles." he told her, she wore a wry expression as it clearly was her next move. "Nothing is set in stone except for the past. Actions committed in the past can never be changed but the future is what we make it." he told her, he wasn't normally so philosophical but he couldn't help himself given all the garbage he'd been privy to in the past.

"I have to agree." she confessed.

"Well, you're probably the only one." he quipped in good humour, she gave a small closed lip smile that seemed to put him at ease.


	7. Chapter 7

"I don't believe you." Mike scoffed in disbelief, he chuckled and shook his head as Naz was enlightening him on her cuisine tales of living in a post pandemic- famine world. He wasn't sure he could be sold on 'Rodent kebabs' as an appetising meal. But it felt good to talk about something rather inane than his emotional state.

"Seriously, you burn off all the hair first and then add some salt and pepper. Cook it right over an open flame. Not a lot meat but you got bone and cartilage to give it some crunch and keep you going. It's actually really good, like poor man's salt and pepper prawns" Naz informed him. Mike felt his stomach turn at the thought but tried not show it as he knew it would be poor form.

"I guess if you're hungry enough." Mike said diplomatically, Naz gave a shrug and half smile as there was a clear gap between their lives where he was lucky to have access to food where she and many others did not. He was glad she was here as with him as there seemed to be something going on in the ship as General Quarters had been called and Taylor had come for Rios talking about boarding party.

Heggen and crewmembers had been coming and going for the last hour. Speaking of Heggen, he rushed into the infirmary but instead muddling around the main room he stopped at the door way looking at them.

"Sorry to interrupt Sir," he said, he turned to Naz. "Ms Cooper said you had medical training and could speak Arabic? Maybe Italian?" Heggen asked her.

"Yes, I can speak both." Naz confirmed.

"Good, we need an extra translator and pair of hands. If you'll follow me." he told her, Naz nodded as she rose from her chair and brushed her hand down her right arm; tugging on the edge of sleeve.

"What's going on?" Mike asked as he sensed Naz discomfort and nervousness and felt an instinctual need to protect her as she had protected him. He knew her tugging on her sleeve was to cover the scarring, but didn't understand why she would hide it. Now wasn't the time to ask.

"There was a fishing trawler sinking and we lent an assist but the trawler is beyond repair. We have had to bring them aboard the ship, they need to be processed and given a medical check up." Heggen informed him, Mike frowned as it didn't seem like a wise move but then he didn't know all the facts and while he was on medical leave; he had to learn to trust Meylan to take of them even if he didn't like the sound of this detour.

"If we're taking on refugees then I should get out of your hair." Mike said as it was clearly all hands on deck and he was filling a bed that someone else could use.

"Sir, it's ok." Heggen assured him.

"No, I'd prefer to be in my quarters given all I'm doing here is taking up space you might need." Mike said firmly in a tone that brokered no argument.

"Ok Sir, but I will need your cubans." Heggen said a little nervously.

"My what now?" Mike asked pretending he didn't hear him correctly, but he heard the man clearly. He just didn't like it.

"You're detoxing, Sir. The nicotine from the cigars will impede the process." Heggen explained.

"Fine." Mike said reluctantly resigned, he hadn't even thought of smoking until the man mentioned them and now all he could think about was how nice it would be to just have a smoke to distract himself.

"I'll have a crewman escort you, Sir." Heggen told him before he motioned to Naz to follow him.

"I should go, it was good to chat. It's been a while for me. So thank you." Naz said warmly, there was such a sad note to her demeanour. He knew the source was from her own pain and loneliness. He wondered how long she had been on her, trapped in Nostos fuelled visions. It was most likely why he felt a kindred spirit in her, she was just as broken as he and yet she looked at him as if he were whole and his pain wasn't something to be pitied, it was just something to be acknowledged so he could move forward.

"Anytime. It was a pleasure." Mike told her with a kind smile and he meant it.

* * *

Tom walked into the helo bay, he had a dreading feeling in his stomach as he looked around at all the people. There were over 60 refugees and one quarter of them were women and children. The rest were men of varying ages, but all of them had the same vacant stare. Nostos users, it never ceased to amaze him how many people got sucked into using the drug to escape and ended up addicts.

He'd never touched the stuff but he would be lying if he claimed never to be tempted. The only reason he didn't was that he had the kids. They needed him to present even if he wasn't always emotionally available. He did his best but he like so many people were broken by the pandemic and famine. He also had his mission which was becoming a tangled mess every second but it also required a clear mind. So he didn't have the luxury of checking out.

He walked around the Helo bay carefully studying the features of all the refugees looking for a familiar face in the crowd but even so his eyes drifted to Sasha as she walked around handing out food. It pained him to know that his chance with her was long gone.

He almost thought fate had thrown them together, that it was a sign that maybe this time they would work out but he was too broken, too dark in spirit. She was with another man, even if she wasn't, he couldn't risk bringing her down with him and making her miserable. She gave him a curt smile before she continued talking with the refugees near her.

"Sir," Danny said in greeting to him as Tom sidled up next to him.

"I'm here to lend a hand." Tom said overseeing the activity.

"We have it covered," Danny assured him.

"Ms Khan is here." Tom noted, she had her sleeves rolled up and her hands were in surgical gloves as she was inspecting a child's eyes, mouth and ears while a crew member stood next to her taking notes.

"She speaks a couple languages and is medically trained. So Rios tapped her to help out." Danny said.

"How many people?" Tom asked Danny, the man rattled off a number to him. He gave a nod as he watched the organised chaos of the refugees being processed and their possessions being searched for weapons or other dangerous items. He couldn't help but think Burk was being rough with his search as the young man was shouting at the refugees to make a line and be more orderly.

"Anyone look familiar, Sir?" Danny asked him, clearly not wanting Tom to notice Burk's rough edges but Tom could see the concern in Danny's eyes as they were glued on Burk. Tom knew he should tell Danny to step in and straighten Burk out before it was too late but kept quiet. It wasn't his place and Danny had to learn the signs by experience.

"None of these people work for Giorgio." Tom told him as there wasn't a familiar face in the crowd of people. He still felt something off about Naz, his gut told him that she shouldn't be trusted but he knew saying as much would not make him popular.

"And Omar's guys are better fed." Danny said with a sigh as the sight before him was not something new but it was still painful to see and not be able to make a noticeable impact on.

"They were headed north looking for food. I didn't have the heart to tell them it's the same everywhere." Jeter said as he joined them. Tom gave a nod and separated from the group as he saw Kathleen walk in. He couldn't avoid her forever, with that in mind he went over to her where she was clearly doing stock take.

"Kathleen, I wanted to say" Tom started, Kat didn't pause in what she was doing as she search the container for what looked to be tools for the Helo. "I'm sorry." Tom said uttering the words that were long overdue. "I should've come to you after your dad died, told you what happened myself.I- I didn't have the words." He told her, with the deepest sincerity as it was true.

She gave a huff of indignation and took a moment before she turned her head and gave him a look of indifference. It stung as it had taken a lot for him to say what he had to her.

"I hope you haven't spent the last year and a half agonising over this, because I haven't." she informed him curtly before she turned back to her task. It stung for her to say as much to him but he didn't expect to be let off the hook.

"Tex saved my life and it wasn't the first time. I owed you more." He told her in a low voice, this time he got more than indifference as her shoulders tensed. She turned to him and there was a flash of anger and pain in her eyes that reached through his mess reminding him of the pain he'd reaped on others.

"Yeah, well, you know what my old man would say to that? Get over yourself, Commodore." Kat told him, Tom deserved it but before he could say as much, the sounds of screaming and shouting erupted behind him.

He turned to the source. His eyes widened in horror as he watched a man bring what looked like a belt down down on someone on the ground. For a second everyone stopped and then they snapped into action. The sailors shouted for everyone to move and for the man to desist in his actions. But the man ignored the order and swung the belt down. It was surreal to see such violence after the refugees had come aboard looking like broken souls. Thanks to them, it was harder for the crew to sift through them to save the victim as they were lashed another time. Sasha started shouting in in several languages, holding her hands out to urge people to stay as they were, while sailors on guard had their weapons ready to fire.

"Stop!" Burk ordered but the man ignored the order even with weapons levelled him; ready to shoot, Azima who was managed to get into the fray, stepped in and caught the belt with her hand and yanked it out of the man's hand; it pulled him off balance enough for Wolf to take the man down and restrain him.

"I need a stretcher." Rios ordered as he and Danny pulled a disorientated and bleeding Naz across the floor so she was out of the way where they had space to work. Tom stepped over blood trail left by Naz to check on the crewman who'd been her partner. "You ok?" he asked the crew member.

"Yes, Sir." She replied shakily, he gave a nod and turned to Azima.

"What's he saying?" Tom asked Azima as the man she had righted into a seated position, was arguing in his native tongue but given his expression it was clear he was spewing hatred for them.

"He refuses to be treated by a coalition soldier and a female one at that." Azima translated, the man spat on the floor. "He says that coalition forces destroyed his home and failed to protect his people against the Immune faction during the wars. She deserves the pain that he endured because of her failures." Azima added, the man continued to speak as he was given an audience.

"How did he know she was coalition soldier?" Tom demanded. Azima asked the man who gave a scathing response. He looked to Azima for translation.

"The mark on her forearm. He says that the scars obscure the brand that coalition soldiers wore. It was how they identified their dead from the enemy." Azima informed him, the man on the floor; spat at her shoe and she kicked him in the shin as she spoke darkly at him in a way Tom assumed she was demanding he respect their space and help. The luxury of not being in a uniform meant he didn't have to call her up on it.

* * *

"Why did you just take it?" Burk asked Naz in a harsh tone. She could hear the hatred in his voice and she could remember what it was like to have her anger bubbling just under the surface of her own skin. It was like a vague memory trying to resurface.

"I don't want to talk about it." Naz replied in a dull manner. Her eyes still burned from alcohol the man has tossed at her. She winced as couple nice welts and bruises were raising up on her arms and her face where the belt had stuck her. Rios was stitching the cut on her brow from the first blow the man had gotten in with his belt. It hurt like hell, but she was glad she still had her eyes.

She was not complaining as she got off easy with minor injuries but it was enough to get her banned from interacting with the Refugees. Not that she say it but she was glad of the outcome as she didn't have the stomach for violence and hated being in trouble. She was however surprised Rios could work given how much she was trembling. She couldn't stay still and she really just wanted to fall onto the floor into a heap.

"I don't get why they would just do that. You should've fought back." Burk told her, Naz pushed out a breath as Elias stood next to Burk and nodded.

"He's right, you don't need anger to fight. You fight to defend yourself out of fear. You shouldn't take a beating from anyone. You know that." Elias said, the hallucination looked pissed at her for taking the beating but she was just in shock. She had forgotten what it was like to feel physical pain, she knew she didn't like it.

"Lt Burk with respect ,I need my patient to not talk. So your conversation can wait." Rios said, Burk looked disgruntled at being told to shut up. But he closed his mouth and stood guard with a frown.

"Sorry, I can't seem to stop shaking." Naz said softly as she was sure she would vomit if she didn't stop shaking.

"It's the adrenaline dumping out of your system. You'll be ok, I'll hook you up to an IV and you can get some sleep. How are the eyes?" Rios asked.

"Sore, and a little blurry but overall better. I would like to go to my quarters to rest, it that's ok?" She asked, she wanted to be as far away from the refugees as possibly.

"Sure." Rios told her as he stitched the cut above her eyebrow.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry for what happened. I'm supposed to be helping you." she told him, he gave her a warm closed lip smile as he kept working.

"Don't worry, you helped more than I expected you to." He told her, he tied off the stitches and gave a sigh of satisfaction as he cleaned the area again and placed guaze and tap over it. "I'll also give you some ibuprofen, it should take the edge off the pain." he added.

"What I wouldn't give a cup of Nostos." Naz quipped, Rios tensed and looked worried by her statement, "Joking." Naz added with a smile.

* * *

"Geezus, she ok?" Mike asked Tom as he searched for his emergency stash of Cuban cigars. So far he'd found $5 in change and a Hershey chocolate bar that Mike was pretty sure was from Tom's captaincy days. It was out of date but the colour looked fine and there was no mould... a little white but still good in his books. He went by the rules of finders keepers.

"Yeah, Doc Rios says she had about 7 stitches all up to her face and a few welts. It's not bad, minor injuries. So, Meylan's restricted her to her quarters for security reasons." Tom said as he sat on the couch watching Mike rummage the desk drawers. He was glad the woman was being held in her quarters as it meant she couldn't get into any further trouble. He knew it made him an asshole but he did feel for her as no one deserved to get the stuffing kicked out of them let alone whipped with a belt.

"So she's attacked but gets punished. What about the man who attacked her?" Mike asked incredulously, he was stressed from not finding the Cuban cigars as much as he was stressed about the news coming in. He ignored his daughter who looked at him in disappointment. He remembered how she hated him smoking, he'd get a lecture about mouth cancer every time he tried to smoke one outside the house on special occasion.

"Can't have her cross paths with him or the others getting ideas given her past. Makes me think there's something more to her days as a coalition soldier." Tom told him.

"They weren't the ones committing genocide." Mike said as he didn't like what Tom was implying. But the man ignored him and continued instead of delving into the politics for the Immune wars.

"I told Meylan it was best to sequester her. He agreed and Khan didn't really care at all. The offender is in plasticuffs. Once we find a safe haven for the refugees, he'll be handed over to the authorities." Tom remarked casually, Mike snorted a laugh as he highly doubted there would be local authorities let alone some who'd care about what happened.

"So, what else is going on out there?" Mike asked him.

"Seeds are in good shape. C-130 will be on the tarmac in Naples by the time we anchor." Tom informed him, Mike nodded.

"Ah-ha." Mike smiled and then frowned as what he thought was a cigar tube was a pen. "And how are the other passengers doing?" he asked as he tossed the pen back into the drawer and closed it.

"They'll be all right. Most of them are just hungry." He told Mike.

"Yeah. A lot of that going around these days." Mike grumbled.

"Not for much longer, thanks to you." Tom pointed out. "Can I help you find something?" Tom asked him as it looked like Mike had bug up his ass as he was moving around the place unable to stop as he searched for something.

"Heggen took my Cubans. He said the nicotine would screw with the detox. I know I stashed one for emergencies somewhere." Mike said frustrated that he was coming up empty.

"I'm not a doctor, but I think you've had enough stimulants for the time being." Tom told him, Mike made a face as that sounded like a crap idea for him. He opened another draw and flipped through the contents coming up empty. He gave an exhale and decided Tom was right and gave up the search. He pulled over his office chair and sat down with a sigh of relief as his body thanked him.

"I should've known. Halfway around the globe, we'd find you working the same problem as us. Trying to save the world again. You know, 16 months, Tom. I was starting to think you were dead." Mike said changing the topic and looking pained not just from his injuries but the fact that Tom was back and he just didn't understand why Tom could cut him so thoroughly out of his life. He knew it was the detox talking as before the Nostos; he had accepted Tom's need to leave was what Tom needed. He supported Tom's move even if it was a dickhead one.

"Part of me was." Tom admitted.

"Still fighting that battle?" Mike asked, weren't they all. He tried not to be petty and tell Tom to buck up as he knew it was his grief that wanted to make him be an asshole.

"I saw a side of me, Mike. I thought I'd put it away, but it came back again in Greece. Vengeful, angry, and out of control. I didn't like it." Tom told him.

"Welcome to the human race." Mike quipped drily as he wheeled his chair closer to the coffee table."Or what's left of it." he added, he scrubbed a hand down his face as he was a mess and he knew he couldn't shoulder Tom's problems on his shoulders too. Not that Tom expected him too, it was just what friends did for one another. "You know, when I was dosed it wasn't just my family I saw. You were there, too." Mike said.

Tom blinked as he had heard that Nostos was about seeing one's ghosts and happiest memories. He saw Mike's grief as plain as day on his face. Pain, Mike had hidden for years under a carefully under a well practised mask. Mike took a sharp inhale as he looked like he tried not to cry. Tom wasn't sure what he would do if Mike cried as the man was a rock.

"They're gone again, but we're still here, you and me." Mike pointed between them, "That's gotta be worth something." he said, he then frowned, "You are here, right?" he asked Tom, he had to wonder if Tom was real for just a heart beat as he'd been in his Nostos visions of the past. Tom cracked a wry smile and chuckled, clearly not understanding that Mike wasn't sure of his existence. Mike quirked a slight smile playing along as he didn't need Tom or anyone bar Naz knowing his temporary hallucinations and that he couldn't distinguish between reality or fantasy.

"I'm glad to see you're feeling better, Mike." Tom said as he gave a sigh and rose from the couch. "Ship needs her Captain." he told him before he left the room.

Mike watch Tom close the door. He closed his eyes and gave a pained sigh as his body screamed at him to lay down. He wheeled his chair over to his sleeping area and hobbled over to the bed. He laid down with a loud groan, his body gave out and relaxed in the new position, the pain he felt faded to the background. He turned his head to the bedside table and brushed a finger down the photo of his family.

* * *

James walked through the helo bay, it was calmer now the refugees were processed and tended to. The man who had attacked Naz were stowed in the corner with guards. But he was calm and seemed happier with the arrangement. But James wasn't here to speak with them as a familiar face sat at the end of the bay with a en empty chair opposite him; waiting for James.

He looked around at the Nathan James crew wondering if they would be suspicious of him but they gave no sign of it. He sat down opposite the man in scruffy, well worn clothes.

"Hello, Fletch." he said, his Arabic accent gone and replaced with a thick English accent. He smoothed his hands over the apple in his hands.

"Hello, Harry, El Alamein. Very subtle." James drawled sarcastically as he sat opposite Captain Harry Sinclair, they served on joint missions during the war and previous to that in many special ops missions. Harry was Army while James was Navy, the unlikeliest of colleagues but they all had their talents.

"Figured it would ring a bell. "My Grandpapa fought back the Jerries in Egypt"." Harry chuckled "You wouldn't shut up about it. We started to believe you personally stood in front of Rommel's tanks." he said with a grin, it made James uncomfortable as he wondered what trick Harry had up his sleeve. The man bit into an apple and smiled at it as if food were an amusement not the necessity that it was.

"What do you want, Harry?" James demanded in a quiet tone.

"I have a message from the River House." Harry said as he took another bite and looked at the apple taking it in. It had probably been months since the man had seen an apple let alone ate one. James was lucky to be on the James as they had a lot of luxuries many others didn't.

"Could've telephoned." James told him, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. It was not a good sign if they sent a warm body to bring him a message.

"Couldn't take the risk our cousins would decrypt it." Harry told him frankly.

"Yeah. Sure. Okay. So?" James asked, hoping it would be an easy message and he could go find Sasha and forget he ever saw Harry.

"The special relationship with the Americans is no more. The labs in the U.S. are not prepared to work with the progenitor seed. The U.K. is going it alone." Harry informed him, James looked at him incredulously as he couldn't believe this was happening. He'd spent almost a year cultivating relationships with the US and those on the Nathan James, now Home Office wanted him to throw it all away when they finally had the seeds.

"How? Our labs are worse than theirs." James said in annoyance at the deception. There was a plan in place; one that worked well for all parties involved. The US would create the cure and UK would receive half of the first batch without delay.

"We found a scientist. Home office says he has a lock on the science." Harry told him, James work a resigned expression as he knew where this was going.

"Let me guess. This scientist His name wouldn't happen to be Vellek?" James asked as he couldn't believe this was happening. He wanted to scrub a hand down his face and shake his head in disbelief but then it would telegraph the whole room to the fact that something was wrong. James would have to cover it and he had no lie to tell.

"He reached out, made us an offer. We deliver the progenitor palm seeds, and England receives the first batch of plague-resistant crops. Our people will be fed. No waiting around like we did for the cure. Where are the seeds?" Harry asked casually.

"In the medical bay, under -" he paused as he sat back, he hated this. It frustrated him as it was exactly the same deal with the US. Yet, it was with a madman, it made him think that things were more dire back home than he was led to believe. "Under lock and key." James said.

"Well, obviously I won't be able to get anywhere near them, filthy refugee that I am. Thanks to having to remove a slight wrinkle, the security has toughened up." Harry said looking frustrated, James narrowed his eyes at him.

"You had that woman attacked." James stated, Harry gave a knowing smile.

"You mean Naz?" he asked as he knew James wanted him to confess and frankly he didn't care. He like James had a mission. "Yeah I told him to kill her but Nostos addicts are useless. Not to mention this crew are rather feisty especially that Nubian goddess you got." he said jutting his head in Azima's direction.

"Why would you kill her? It just makes things more difficult." James asked him.

"She and I have history. Wouldn't want her blowing my cover and your mission now can we?" he asked, he chuckled as he had no shame nor care for who got hurt. "So you're gonna have to get the seeds." he told him, bringing them back to new changes to the current mission.

"Me?" James scoffed in disbelief.

"And find me a discreet way off this ship." Harry added with a grin.

"What do you mean, off the ship? You're just gonna swim away? We're due in Naples. There's a plane." James told him, Harry shook his head as he ate another bite of his apple.

"That's not happening, James. I leave with the seeds before the ship gets to Naples." Harry informed him, James mulled over the angles.

"And what? I stay behind to face a firing squad?" he asked Harry.

"No one will know your part. You'll remain on board to throw them off the scent. You know you got the perfect scapegoat. Pin it on Naz as we can't have the Americans starting a war with England over this." Harry told him, James rolled his eyes.

"This is ridiculous. She's in" James told him, even though he knew Harry was right. Tom was already suspicious of Naz and he seemed to be able to sway the others with ease. James had to plant the seeds and cover his own ass but it wasn't fair.

"Fletch-" Harry started, his tone pulled James out of his thoughts.

"I've been working with the Americans for months." James told him, his way of saying he wasn't sure he could do it. It wasn't about a lack of capabilities but a lack of will and motivation.

"Listen to me, it's quite simple-" Harry started but James cut him off.

"Their people have fought and died for these seed-" James tried to argue but Harry spoke over him but still kept his voice low but he was pissed.

"And where were they during the Immune wars, hmm? While they were spreading the cure with kisses and love, we were massacred. We're dying at home, Fletch." Harry pointed out, "I'm sorry about your new friends, but this is a better deal. It's a dog-eat-dog world now. Have you eaten dog yet, Fletch? I have. It's no fun." Harry told him, James shook his head as he was completely torn between Crown and Country and the people he'd been embedded with for over a year.

"And I shouldn't have to remind you of your duty, Commander." Harry said, reminding James of his rank and that he was a soldier, he had sworn an oath and his loyalty to his country and the Crown.


	8. Chapter 8

Naz stood in the wardroom with everyone else, she could have easily begged it off but James had been insistent. She had to attend even if she wanted to curl up in bed and sleep. At least her eyes were better, the welts were starting to beautifully angry in dark blues and pinks.

She could feel her detox was hitting a precipice where it was going to get worse and strangely she found perverse satisfaction in her pain as it dulled her hallucinations. Elias, her constant companion was not as vibrant as he was before, he was disappearing for longer periods of time. Part of her was glad while another side ached for him to stay, which left her conflicted.

"You already got yourself kicked out of medical. You can't be useless otherwise they'll kick you off the ship." Elias reminded her as he looked over her shoulder at the photos from a satellite. It was of a crashed plane. From the talk going on around her; it had been the plane that was supposed to take the seeds back to the US.

She handed the photos over to James, he seemed more quiet and closed off than the previous times she had encountered him. He stood near her which she felt was the outsider's corner as the Nathan James crew lumped together with Tom Chandler standing by himself, she could see he wanted be a part of the group but couldn't let go of whatever was holding him back.

"Vellek." Jeter said stating the obvious as there weren't too many people in the world with the resources or motive to take down a plane and thwart the Nathan James' mission.

"How the hell did he know about our plane?" Sasha said in annoyance, she tossed her copy of photos onto the table. She was fed up with the brick walls they kept hitting. It made her think they had a leak but she knew she was being paranoid. The most logical explanation was that he anticipated their move and knew that Naples was the only US base operating in Europe. So he ordered any plane flying in the area to be shot down. He clearly was not taking any chances.

"The range ring for his warship will be in this area." Kara said as she gestured down at the map on the table.

"Which means we're likely headed right towards him." Tom said adding his two cents to the meeting.

"Still think we should cut a deal with this maniac? Are there any other aircraft available to fly the seeds to the States?" Meylan asked, Kara shook her head.

"No, Sir. All our bases in Europe are down." Kara said shaking her head as they weren't left with a lot of options.

"Port of Haifa had a couple cargo planes, but they're no longer in service." Sasha added, shaking her head, Naz could feel the defeatism in the room. They knew the odds were against them and yet Naz felt their desperate need to complete the mission. That none of them would give up as there had to be another way around the problem.

"Commander Fletcher, does the Royal Navy have any assets it can scramble?" Meylan asked, everyone looked James as he hadn't bothered to answer. "Commander?" Meylan prompted, James looked up and cleared his throat.

"Um, I'm afraid our Air Force is nonexistent, Sir." James said in a distracted manner, it was clear his head was not in the game. "What wasn't destroyed during the Immune wars was grounded for lack of fuel and pilots." he said.

"Naz, you know of any air fields that are still operating?" Meylan asked, Naz took a moment and racked her brain to what she knew of the area.

"I know a couple but they can only do small island hops and they aren't cheap. They'd never get across the Atlantic. There were rumours of an airfield operating in Malta but it's in Greek territory and given their alliance with Vellek. The Greeks will not want to help you take the seeds out of Europe given the baggage many Europeans hold over the delays in getting cure." Naz said, she hated bringing up the past ad it was clear it was a sore spot as no one looked happy at any negative review on the US.

Tom was the only one to react as he quietly scoffed and shook his head, he clearly knew what she was talking about but held the mindset that anyone who complained about the cure being too little too late was petty. The others ignored it and didn't bother to broach the argument that could easily be had over the subject instead looked at the table mulling over their options.

"All right." Meylan started, he leaned in the table with his fists as he spoke. "We'll deliver the seeds to Norfolk ourselves. We'll make for Gibraltar. There's still fuel at Rota and FOS Monrovia if needed. LHD Blackwood can come down from the north with an unrep-"

"We'll never make it out of the Med. Vellek expects Nathan James to go for Gibraltar. You barely made it through the gauntlet last time. By now, they've rebuilt their defenses." Tom said interrupting Meylan and not making friends with his comments.

"Then we'll go through the Red Sea." Meylan said adjusting course in the plan.

"The locks in the Suez haven't been operational since the plague hit." Tom informed him.

"Are you sure?" Meylan asked him.

"I've been listening to ship traffic in that region for months." Tom assured him as he knew a lot about the Med, while there were some things like the air field in Malta that hadn't passed his radar the state of the waters in the Med were a different matter.

"Then what do you suggest?" Meylan asked him.

"Well, Giorgio likes to fight, so we fight. They won't try to sink us as long as we have what they want. And that gives us the advantage-"

"Are you insane? fighting Giorgio is a waste of resources and time. I'm not Navy, but 4 ships against one are crap odds to me. He can have the Greek ships box the ship and board the Nathan James, taking the seeds and commandeer this ship. Possessing the seeds only saves you from a missile strike, nothing more." Naz told him incredulously but Tom ignored her and continued speaking as if he didn't hear her at all.

"We take the fight to them, clear the airspace for another transport plane. Aegis Ashore out of Haifa should be a good start. Meantime, we capture Vellek and his research." Tom finished, he looked to the those around him.

"Again with this idea?" Meylan scoffed in annoyance.

"It's our best shot." Tom told him as he firmly believed Vellek would help them find a cure.

"I've already made the decision." Meylan said as he'd vetoed the idea at the last meeting and for very good reasons.

"Captured Nazis helped us build a bomb." Tom argued, Naz frowned but she kept her mouth shut. She had to admit the man had balls for trying to use misinformation to push his agenda. Elias was making sure she caught an earful about American history and how the Captured Nazis Tom mentioned were brought in to win the space race and advance US rocket technology among other things. Bombs apparently were low in the list but it didn't matter as Meylan clearly snapped.

"Captain Chandler, you are still just a passenger on this ship. If you really want to be a part of the conversation, then put on the uniform. If not, let the professionals do their job." Meylan told Tom in firm manner that brokered no argument. There was a tense moment in the room as Meylan's harsh words put Tom in his place but they were true. Meylan turned his attention to Kara "Get St. Louis on the horn. Update the President on our current CONOPS." he told her, "That is all." he announced to the room.

"Aye, Sir." Kara said acknowledging the order. She packed up her papers and left the room. Tom glanced at Sasha who shot him a look before she left with Naz and James. Tom leaned onto the table trying to figure out where he miss-stepped and why he couldn't seem to gel in with the rest of them.

"Captain Meylan's under a lot of pressure." Jeter said in a low voice as he stayed behind to clean up.

"He was right. I crossed the line." Tom conceded.

"I didn't say he wasn't right." Jeter told him with a sharp edge to his tone, it was the first time Tom had seen him angry in a very long time. "This isn't you. Walking around the ship like you're on a Tiger when did you become a passive observer?" Jeter demanded.

"Master Chief." Tom started but the man cut him off.

"Don't Master Chief me. Goddamn it!" Jeter cursed as he tried to keep a tight reign on his anger. "You wanted to get away. Good. It's what you did. God knows you of all people needed a break. But for 16 months, the rest of us pressed on. The missions changed, but our commitment never wavered. And although you were always in our minds, when you left, we were broken." Jeter told him, his voice shook not just with anger but the pain of man who'd been abandoned and felt betrayed by it.

Tom knew Jeter understood his reasons and it was why he didn't lash out. It's why Mike didn't either though Tom wished they'd shout and be angry so he could do the same back at them. They all kept themselves so controlled, their emotions so pent up and never saying what they felt or meant because it wasn't appropriate, it wasn't the time or place. Whatever reason, it wasn't fair and it wasn't healthy.

"I lost my way, Russ." Tom tried to explain, he wanted to add that he'd found the same mission as them and tried to do his part. But he was trapped by confidentiality and secrets of it.

"You never lost your way. You may have turned your back on your calling, but your path was always right in front of you. It led you back to the Nathan James. This is where you belong." Jeter told him with such conviction that Tom who had couldn't handle the idea of fate but Jeter's words resonated with him. That no matter how hard Tom tried to pull away from the Nathan James and his friends, fate had a way of bringing him back to where he should be.

* * *

"I don't know why you guys bother with me. I've told you everything I know." Naz said with a sigh of relief, she pushed her boots off her feet and tossed them into her storage drawer under the bunk so they were out the way. Sasha pulled out her gym clothes and gave a noncommittal shrug.

"Sometimes, things just shake loose in the moment that could help us. I also have a good feeling about you. I also trust and believe you wouldn't share what we're saying in there." Sasha said with a small smile as she knew how it sounded. She could trust Naz as there was a sailor stationed outside the door of their quarters to make sure Naz couldn't slip away or do anything sneaky as she had nothing to her name and no access to the outside world.

"No, I wouldn't, but in fairness I can barely remember what was said. Why isn't Captain Slattery in the meetings?" Naz asked her.

"He's on medical leave, but he is being given updates. It's just protocol for him to be left out of it as he doesn't have much say until he is clean of Nostos and in a better state." Sasha assured her, it was the only consistent thing she knew about Naz. The woman had a genuine care for Mike that seemed to be more than just about her getting the U.S., but it was always about his well being never prying questions about the ship or their mechanisms. "If you want I can pass a message to him or see him. He doesn't mind having visitors, I'm sure he'd let you see him." she offered.

"No, he should rest. Nostos is rough on the system." Naz said as she sat down on the bed and immediately regretted it as she felt a cold sweat break out and her pulse quicken in her throat.

"You ok?" Sasha asked with concern.

"Withdrawal. Actually-" Naz didn't finish the sentence as she paled and covered her mouth.

"Sink." Sasha ordered, Naz was fast on her feet and made to sink just in time to dry wretch. She turned on the water just in case and waited for the shuddering to subside before she washed her face.

"Why don't we go topside and get some fresh air. If you have to hurf for real, then you can do it over the railing." Sasha told her, Naz gave a nod as it sounded like a good idea.

* * *

Tom finished a hot shower and headed back to his quarters. He closed the door and sat down on his bunk and looked at the paperwork Meylan had given him and the man's words resonating. If he wanted to be heard, then he had to put on the uniform. He also knew he couldn't be effective without the uniform. Without it, he was on the outside looking in, not one of them. He'd had enough of being separated from the world around him.

He pressed a hand to the borrowed BDUs. He didn't know why but 16 months ago he had shunned the uniform and the Navy, he here sat wanting to put the uniform back on. It wasn't just the luxury of rank but it was also the familiar commitment of the known that warmed him. Even when he'd been on his solo mission, he'd miss being surrounded by peers and the support of being in a team. He hadn't been welcomed back warmly but he knew he had hurt a lot of people by leaving, he'd hurt many by sitting on the fence while he undermined Meylan but acted separate of them. It was time to commit.

He pushed off the bunk and moved to the vanity. He pulled out the grooming kit he'd been supplied and pulled out a pair scissors and starting hacking off his beard. He hoped once the beard was gone he might feel like his old self.

* * *

"It's beautiful out here." Naz said as she and Sasha sat on one of the upper level walkways just below the bridge with their legs over the edge as they leaned on the ropes of the was one of Sasha's favourite placed on the ship as straight ahead was the front of ship and one could sit and watch the prow cut through the ocean as it headed to the horizon.

It was helping her nausea abate which she was grateful for because if she hurfed now some poor sod would have to clean it up from the deck below. So it motivated her to not vomit, that and she didn't want to ruin the ambience of their surroundings.

"It is." Sasha agreed.

"It's none of my business, but is everything ok with you and Fletcher?" Naz asked, she kept her eyes to the horizon as she felt Sasha deserved the privacy of her emotions.

"Yes, it's just hard juggling the mission and a relationship. Tom is here now which makes things... awkward." Sasha said with a sigh as it didn't make things any easier for her. She could feel James detaching himself from her ever since Tom came on board, like he sensed he was fighting a losing battle. It didn't seem fair that the choice was taken out of her hands. She hated feeling like a consolation prize being passed around and dumped because no one wanted her.

"Yes, not too many people are happy about it." Naz drawled, Sasha looked her way. "People talk, they said you two were supposed to be a thing. That it looked like it was going to happen and next thing they all know. He left, he walked away from everything." Naz said, Sasha appreciated that Naz hadn't said 'you' as Tom didn't just abandon her. He abandoned the crew and the mission.

"We dated for a while when we were in college. Went our separate ways until year or so ago, we met up on a different mission. It felt amazing to reconnect after months being on my own. But I should've known better, I made all the moves and he just went with it before he made a choice that was about him not us and he left. He didn't tell me to wait. So, I moved on." Sasha said as casually as she could but it all felt cut throat and painful in retrospect.

He made her feel worthless, rejected and well, played. She knew it was unintentional on Tom's part, but when he kissed her before he left; it was like he wanted her to remember him and the potential of what they could've been before he cruelly walked away and made it clear he didn't want her with over a year of no communication. she felt the saddest part was if he had told her to wait... she probably would have but they'd never know now.

"You have take care of yourself first and do what makes you happy in the long run." Naz said diplomatically, Sasha snorted a laugh.

"Not sure I know what makes me happy but I do know that we have to complete this mission. If we don't, that's it. We're all dead." Sasha told her firmly.

"Sometimes I think that wouldn't be so bad." Naz said softly.

"I felt that way when my husband died." Sasha told her in a low voice, the grief she long thought resolved creeping out again. "I felt like my heart and whole future died with him." she said reminiscing on darker times, telling Naz something she had never told another soul. She felt that she could tell Naz anything without being judged harshly and she barely knew the woman as a person but she felt Naz wasn't the kind of person to spread gossip. She was too quiet in her demeanour for such theatrics.

"I know exactly what you mean." Naz said with a sardonic smile as they were a pair. "I just wasn't strong enough to pull the trigger. It's why I drowned myself in Nostos, which makes me rather pitiful; hiding in my memories and holding onto people and a life that would never be. But it was all I had." Naz said introspectively.

"Maybe once you're clean, you'll find something else to fill that void." Sasha told her, "Like a dog," she added half jokingly. Naz gave a closed lip smile.

"Maybe knitting? I always wanted to knit. Though gardening is probably a smarter move once this red rust business is fixed." Naz said thoughtfully, Sasha couldn't help but laugh as she couldn't Naz as a gardener.

* * *

Mike sat on his bed with his arms on his knees as he cradled his head in his hands. Withdraw from Nostos was like an emotional roller coaster and staying idle in his room was not helping. He couldn't sit still, his visitors for the day had dried up and he had no work to do as Rios made sure to take all of that away in last visit.

He lifted his head up from his hands and gave a shaky sigh as he looked to the photo on the bedside of his family and heaved a sigh as his heart ached with the loss of them. He missed them so much. He opened the drawer and pulled out a box. It had a photo of Lucas and him on the front with the words 'For Dad' scrawled in Lucas' penmanship.

Mike opened the box and gave a sad smile as he reached past the story Lucas had written about a Navy Seal and pulled out an iPod. He turned it on and docked it into his alarm clock and turned on the speakers.

"It's me, Lucas, your son." Lucas's voice played out on the speakers. "I know you said you'd be home before Thanksgiving, but I wrote this porem.." Lucas struggled to enunciate his words but persevered. "poem for you just in case." he said, Mike's gut twisted as he never made it home for Thanksgiving, he never got a lot of things he wanted when it came to his family, he would have traded his soul for a second chance but it was too late and nothing could be changed. So, he took solace in the precious items he had left of his family, the photos, the phone messages and emails. The personal items that had been beloved by his kids and wife.

"Dear God, I give thanks to you for my pretty mom and thanks for my brave dad. I give thanks for both my sisters and all the good times we've had."

Mike tried not cry as the tears filled his eyes, a smile gracing his lips as he could imagine Lucas pouring over the poem and making perfect while Christine looked over his shoulder helping him.

"I give thanks for my best friend, Ron, except for when he's weird and quirky."

Mike snorted a laugh and smiled as Ron was indeed a very weird kid. Lucas stuck his head around the corner of the door and stepped into the room. He spoke as if the words from the tape were playing in sync with the hallucination.

"But the thing I'm most thankful for is not being born a turkey. Happy Thanksgiving." Lucas finished with a grin, he swerved on his tiny feet as he could never stand still when he was nervous.

"I love you, Dad." Lucas told him, then the room grew quiet and the hallucination of Lucas faded away. Mike stifled a sob as it was nearly too much to bear knowing he'd never be able to say it Lucas in person and hold him and the others again. He took a slow inhale and exhale pulling himself together.

"Love you, too, buddy." He whispered in a pained voice as grief got the better of him.

* * *

The following morning,

Tom ran his hand over his hair and smiled to the crewman who had shaved off his majority of his hair. He looked in the mirror seeing his old self. It felt good to back into a regulation approved haircut.

"Thank you Crewman." he said.

"Anytime Sir, just happy to have you back." the man replied cheerfully as he used a large looking brush to flick away any errant hairs from Tom's t-shirt. He was due on the bridge in half an hour. Just enough time for quick shave and shower as he wanted to look his best.

"It's good to be back." Tom said, he for once wasn't lying as he had slept very well last night. Something he hadn't been able to do for months. He gave a nod and left the crewman to the next sailor and head to his quarters. He picked up his toiletries and headed to the men's bathroom. He stepped inside and paused as Sasha was at the sink lifting a pine tree freshner from the wall.

"Do I have the wrong showers?" he asked, he was pretty sure it was the mens' shower room. She gave him an amused smile as she looked him over. He had to remember she hadn't seen him since yesterday in the meeting.

He had to admit he felt a zing of joy as he could see she liked what she saw but then it was taintd by a slight spark of pain. He tried not to frown as he knew that pain was his fault. He looked exactly how he did when he left her over 16 months ago. While she had moved on, it was clear they still had a lot unresolved issues. It's pretty hard not to throw a stick and hit someone he didn't have unresolved issues with these days.

"I'm in the wrong room." she assured him.

"May I ask why?" he asked.

"Naz is in the throes of Nostos withdrawal. So our room smells like sweat and bad life choices." she joked but she wore an empathetic smile and she looked at the tree shaped cardboard. "I figured she'd appreciate the smell of pine forest laying over the other smells." she added.

"Very thoughtful of you." he said drily.

"It's what friends do for one another." she said with a shrug as she held the pine tree in her hands careful to make sure the fragrance soaked cardboard didn't touch her hands.

"You should be careful around her." he cautioned her, she looked annoyed at his warning.

"I've been in Naval Intelligence all of my career. I know what to talk about and what not to share with friends and family." she assured him, Tom gave a nod as he overstepped once again and put his foot in his mouth.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just don't trust her and I don't want you to get hurt." He said, she wore a wry smile and he realised it was rather hypocritical for him not want her hurt when he had hurt her over a year ago.

"So you're back then?" she asked changing the topic.

"Yeah, a good friend once told me it was my destiny. And he's Greek, so he'd know." he said, Sasha gave a nod a she gave a tight lipped smile.

"If I recall my history, there was another Greek who said a man's character determines his destiny. You chose this." she told him, there was an harsh edge to her tone as it reminded them of the last words they shared. Where he chose to go when she had told him to stay.

"I just need to see this through and then who knows." he said, he was sure after the mission was complete they'd go their separate ways as he'd have to take a posting stateside with the kids. She would still be gallivanting the world in intelligence gathering.

"Well, if it's a fight you're looking for, you just might get it. We're staying put in the Med. We're gonna try to scramble some assets in the Middle East." She informed him, she pressed her lips into a fine line not enjoying the thought or the tension between them as it was so strained and uncomfortable. "In the meantime, I'm looking for a safe haven where we can drop off the refugees. Meylan made the recommendation to the CNC, who concurred." she told him.

"And Vellek?" Tom asked, he liked how everything seemed to be settling his way even though Meylan had fought against it. Sasha clearly didn't like it either by her expression but he had a feeling it had more to do with him always seeming to get his way.

"Once the seeds are safely en route, he becomes the mission." Sasha told him.

"Sounds like a plan." he said, glad that his plan would go forward as it was better to keep moving forward.

"It was your plan." Sasha told him.

"Meylan's his own man." Tom assured her.

"Maybe, but he's not Tom Chandler." Sasha told him, he frowned as he didn't like how she said that as if he were king and the rest of them were below him. It just wasn't true. He certainly didn't ask to be put on a pedestal either.

"You got to say something to me?" he asked her.

"Yeah, all that time you were away, you ever find the peace you were looking for?" she asked him, it was not what he had expected her to say. He expected to take a swipe at him verbally but she like everyone else were keeping their feelings and true thoughts locked away.

"There were moments." he told her.

"Moments?" she repeated, she almost looked jealous. "Sounds nice." she added,with that the conversation came to end. She gave a sad smile as she passed him and once she was gone. The shine of haircut and shave had worn off as he realised it was going to be more of uphill battle to gain everyone's trust. But he was making the first steps in the right direction, or at least he hoped so.

15 minutes later,

Tom stepped onto the bridge and strode straight towards Meylan at the front of the bridge. He could see the happiness behind the well trained mask of neutrality of the crew members on the ship.

"I'm ready." Tom told Meylan as he stood in front the man. Meylan gave a nod to Jeter, who turned on the ship's PA system.

"Attention to oath." Jeter announced, everyone on the bridge stood to attention.

"Raise your hand and repeat after me." Meylan told Tom, they both raised their hands. Tom tried to remember the last time he'd recited the words all that came to mind was when he had watched the enlisted men re-enlist after the pandemic instead of jumping ship. There was sense of pride in being able to take the oath in front of these people.

"I, Thomas W. Chandler." Meylan started.

"I, Thomas W. Chandler" Tom repeated.

"Having been appointed an officer in the Navy of the United States of America" Meylan said, Tom repeated the man word for word as he swore his oath to the service, his country and everything it held dear. It felt right to say the words and a sense of contentment in the familiar and confidence imbued by the words he said; he knew he was on the right path.

* * *

An hour later,

"So, Chandler is back in uniform and committed to the mission yet again." James said casually as he met Sasha to the side of the Helo bay. She had been playing with a soccer ball one of the kids had before he came in and broke away from playing.

"You almost sound jealous." Sasha teased, he hadn't been down to see her. He had wanted to talk to Harry but he couldn't do it with Sasha around. He felt part himself die as he knew what was coming.

"No, I got you." he said with a smile, "Where were you earlier?" he asked her.

"Getting fresh air with Naz. I needed it before getting back into all this." she said tilting her head to side gesturing to the room. "28 refugees from 7 countries or what used to be countries. Any place we take them will be a relief. Assuming there's food." she gave a tired sigh "Let's just hope we don't cross paths with Vellek first." Sasha said.

"We'll manage. Like always." James assured her.

"Keep calm and carry on. That's my Fletch." Sasha said with a warm smile.

"Never a dull day on Nathan James." James quipped doing his best not to look in Harry direction. He knew Sasha was too observant to not notice something was a miss. It crushed him to know that if the truth ever came out about his part in Harry's plans; he would hurt the first woman he'd loved in a very long time. But his orders were cut and he had to follow them, no matter the damage it reaped in the wake of the aftermath.

"That's for sure." Sasha said with a chuckle.


	9. Chapter 9

"That's a brave plan." Mike said diplomatically as Sasha sat opposite him on the couch in his stateroom a couple days later. She had just regaled him with the plan that Tom wanted to pursue and unlike Meylan and the others who came in; she didn't dress up the truth.

She told him exactly as it was and how she interpreted the feeling among the officers and crew. He already knew Tom's arrival on the ship would not be an easy on anyone and making a decision to re-take the oath should help win some of the crew. It would still be a rough transition for the man and the crew. But it seemed Tom wasn't doing himself any favours by stepping on everyone's toes. But ruffled feathers would smooth out in time.

"President ate it up and has now ordered us to make it work." Sasha said with a mix of frustration and exhaustion. It wasn't that she thought it was a bad plan, she was just not feeling jived to make it happen. Only, because she felt it was going to fail due to all the variables against them and the lack of resources. They'd taken too many hits for her to feel optimistic.

"Not surprised. It'd take us nearly a fortnight to reach Norfolk while a plane would get there in less than 20 hours. It's more expedient." Mike said, he knew Sasha didn't doubt Tom as her venting was just her way of purging her emotions and feelings. That they would change when a proper plan was in place and it felt like they were going to win. He'd learned that she had the best poker face and always followed orders; she never questioned or undermined him or Meylan while she was on board.

"True." Sasha agreed, she wished she felt better about it all. But right now the plan was just a concept that was proving difficult to put into motion.

"How's Naz going?" Mike asked, changing the topic as he could see it was draining Sasha to speak about anything relating to Tom or the mission. She leaned back her seat and gave a shrug.

"She's in withdrawal, it's not fun to watch." Sasha told him with a grimace.

"Yeah, it's not a whole lotta fun to go through." Mike said, though he knew he was getting off easy in comparison to Naz. He felt clean from the Nostos but there were after effects that lingered. That was one dose, so he figured it would hell for Naz but given Sasha's concern he knew it wasn't good.

"What was it like?" Sasha asked him, he knew immediately that she wasn't talking about withdrawal.

"It's hard to explain." he said, as he still hadn't found a way to truly explain it so others could understand. He however was grateful the hallucinations had stopped.

"Naz said it was like walking down memory lane and experiencing every happy and beautiful moment of your life. I can't imagine ever wanting to leave that." Sasha remarked.

"It's why it's addictive." Mike offered as he wasn't about to agree with her.

"Yes, and the withdrawal is the nightmare before the reality. She's so heartbroken, Mike. It's like watching someone go through the throes of losing everything they love over and over. One moment, she's inside her own head living out some happier time and the next she's spiralling into her grief and depression." Sasha said, she rubbed her face with her hands looking troubled by it all.

"You ok?" he asked her. She shook her head.

"James told me that Australia will not take her back as she is considered foreign fighter and a traitor. Not just her, every one of their citizens who were conscripted to fight in the Immune wars have been barred entry back to Australia." Sasha said in a low voice, the guilt ate at her for keeping it a secret from Naz as she knew she or James should've told her.

"Shit." Mike said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I don't know how to tell her. Even if she does have asylum to America; Tom doesn't trust her. He thinks she's a mole, which is absurd. I can see him convincing the President to kill the Asylum deal." Sasha remarked coolly, Mike took what she said with a grain of salt as he knew Tom being back brought up the past and old hurts.

"He wouldn't do that." Mike said as he knew in his bones the Tom he knew wouldn't do something so petty but Sasha didn't look convinced.

"Tom always gets everything his way." Sasha said, he knew where this was going as he remembered getting drunk with her and she had said 'being in Tom's sphere was understanding that you had no control or choices except where the door is'. It was callous and he'd let it go at the time as she'd been hurting a lot but he could see it was still affecting her. That she felt undermined and Tom was eventually going to run roughshod over her.

"Not always." Mike said, he wasn't being contrary, he just needed her to see the bigger picture as it was clear that Naz's state, the famine, Tom's arrival and the last 16 months were taking a real toll on her. He felt himself sinking into the same depressive state as Sasha was in as she unintentionally dragged him down.

"He walks in and in ten seconds flat we're all bending over backwards working on his plan. The President acts like he walks on water, he'd trust Tom's opinion on Naz. If Tom sees her as threat, he'll want to get rid of her for the sake of protecting the mission. I know we can't save or help everyone, but I just want us to make good on this one simple promise." Sasha told him.

"Me too." Mike said, as he wanted to keep the promise he'd made Naz. She had saved her and she hadn't asked for the moon. She asked for a chance at life, a chance to get home but it looked like she wasn't going to get back there.

"I'm sorry." Sasha told him.

"for what?" Mike asked with a frown.

"Dumping all of this on you. I just haven't been feeling myself lately, this mission is so frustrating. It's like we take one step forward and are forced back five steps." Sasha said, a lump formed in her throat as she hated how burnt out she felt. But she pushed it back down with a hard swallow.

"I know what you mean, and being here; it's what friends are for." Mike told her, she gave him a closed lip smile.

"I think you got more than you bargained for." she quipped wryly.

"Nah, you're fine. I would like to see Naz." he said, as he knew how to help her at least and because he wanted to see for himself how she was going. He rose from his chair and straightened up. He grimaced as his side pinched from his stitches. Rios said it would take a while for him to heal but would allow him on light duties if everything looked good in a few days.

"How about I bring Naz to you?" Sasha suggested.

"Nah, I've been cooped up in here long enough. It'll be good for the crew to see me even if I'm still on leave." Mike said as went to his sleeping area to change into proper clothes before Sasha could try to talk him out of it.

* * *

"How does it feel to be back?" Meylan asked Tom in a low voice as they stood on the bridge.

"Good." Tom replied with a satisfied sigh, a faint smile on his lips. There was no way in hell he'd sit in Captain or XO chair on the bridge. He was no longer the Captain of the Nathan James, and he was not going to confuse the crew into thinking he was. Mike was the Captain and Meylan was XO, he was here in a support role.

"Rios informed me that Mike will be back on duty in the next couple of days." Meylan said conversationally.

"That is good news." Tom said, he looked over at James who was currently engrossed in the maps with Gator. "The UK really in dire straits as Fletcher puts it?" he asked Meylan.

"They took a pretty big hit between the Pandemic, the immune wars and the famine. You lived on the continent. You saw first hand-"

"No, I was in a remote fishing village in Greece. It was a small community, their main problems were Giorgio, food shortages and Nostos addiction. The only news I heard was over the radio was about the Med. BBC radio doesn't reach that far." he told him jokingly, his heart twisted at the thought of his daughter working at the docks; he wished so much for her to have a normal life. Something that was outside of everyone's grasp. He hoped that maybe once the red rust was cured, then he could take the right steps as a father and give Ashley back time and some of her freedom while she was still young.

"Speaking of, Rios said Ms Khan is completely out of commission. Apparently withdrawal from Nostos is something akin to withdrawing from Heroin." Meylan said.

"We don't need her." Tom said confidently.

"She knows a lot more about Vellek and Giorgio than you or our people do." Meylan reminded him.

"Old information that is practically obsolete." Tom said, he knew he was being petty but he didn't like how blinded everyone was to her game. She was a wolf in sheep's clothing. She was intelligent, ex-soldier and cop who clearly knew how to manipulate a room given the act she putting on had sucked Sasha and Mike into feeling sympathy for her. But Tom wouldn't be fooled as Naz was not a victim and he had a bad feeling her true colours would show. When they did, it would hurt and make fools of Sasha and Mike.

"That remains to be seen." Meylan said looking amused with Tom's annoyance with Naz.

* * *

Naz sat in the bottom bunk of her and Sasha's quarters with her back to the cold wall. She was doing her best to keep calm as her heart raced and a light sheen sweat covered her body. She already had a shower and washed her hair to cool down but it hadn't helped.

She wanted to move but her body was too tired. She was starving but nauseous, she didn't eat as she knew she would vomit it back up. She felt alone but yet, Elias leaned against the wall watching her. He felt distant to her, like a spectre than an interactive memory- well vivid hallucination like he had been before. She couldn't sleep properly and her thoughts were all over the place. She felt like she was in the mix of a bad depression spiral and on the verge of panicking.

The door opened to the room, she practically jumped out of her skin at the noise as it grated on her nerves. She knew she should say 'Hi' but she couldn't summon the words. It was just too much for her. Luckily, Sasha didn't mind the silence. But it wasn't Sasha, it was Mike. He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

She pushed up, so she wasn't slouching just as he leaned on the top bunk and looked down at her. Most likely taking stock of her healing injuries. The welts had mottled into darker purples and blues but were still raised and grotesque but they didn't hurt much as long as she stayed still.

"Hey." he said casually.

"You should be resting." she told him.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked, she shook her head and watched as he got into the bunk and sat next to her. She watched as he grimaced and did his best not to touch his side. He clearly didn't want to show that it hurt. "I forgot how tiny these rooms can be." he quipped as he had gingerly moved his to make sure he had clearance. "You look like crap but not as bad as I was lead to believe." he added.

"I feel like crap." she assured him, her heart ached a little as Elias faded away. She wondered if he would be back or not but then remembered there was a living and breathing person next to her.

"I wanted to see how you were." he said as he pulled his legs into a cross legged position and leaned back against the wall. He looked better than the last time she'd seen him. He was still healing but he didn't look as burdened with his grief.

"I'm still here." she remarked as she wished her heart would just slow down.

"You sure you're ok?" he asked her with concern, she nodded as she pressed her hands to her chest. He had planned to tell about Australia and his possible solution but he couldn't do it to her. Not when she looked like she did, panicked and unwell. It just wasn't fair.

"Yes, just heart racing and can't seem to breathe. Don't be flattered as it's been happening on and off all day." She told him, he gave her an amused smile.

"I won't, I know I got a face only a mother can love." Mike joked, Naz snorted a laugh as it was definitely not true. Sure, Mike was not a pretty boy like Wolf or some of the other men on the ship but he had a masculine beauty that came from his strong, confident demeanour and rough edges. "You know, breathing exercises might help." he told her.

"Sasha already tried. Can't help something that is physiological and not emotional." She said, Mike clearly wanted to argue that point but let it go.

"You trust me?" he asked her.

"Yes." She said without hesitation as she didn't have a reason not to.

"If this doesn't work, I'm calling the Doc and getting you a Valium." he told her, she smiled weakly at him appreciating the sly humour. But frowned wondering what he was about to do. He picked up her hand in his and placed her palm on his chest; over his heart. She felt his steady heartbeat playing under palm, the heat of his body.

"Just focus on the beat and the pace of my breathing. Try to match it. Real easy, slow breaths in and out." he told her in a calm voice, he remembered doing this with Hannah when her asthma would play up and she'd throw herself into a panic that even after using her inhaler she'd need something to calm her down.

She looked at his hand, concentrating as felt his heart beat. Pressed her lips together as tears slipped down her face at the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and his chest expanding and decrease. She felt walls come down within her as the intimacy of this simple act touched her.

"I used to do this for my kids. Babies are calmed by their parent's heartbeat and breathing." Mike said making conversation as he didn't want to think about how good it was to be touched in a non perfunctory manner. "Hannah, my second eldest; she had asthma. Whenever there was a bad storm, her asthma would play up something fierce. She'd have her inhaler, we would sit and do this. Though, she usually be in my arms." he added, he didn't know why he shared that with her, but he did and it felt good to talk. It was working as he could see that Naz's breathing had slowed some which was progress. She gave him an amused smile through the tears.

"I don't think Rios would like it if you popped your stitches." she told him in amusement, as she wiped at her face with her free hand. "Nor would your wife appreciate some strange lady in your lap." she added in a teasing manner, he knew if she could joke then she was feeling better than before.

"My wife died during the pandemic with my children." he told her, fresh tears filled her eyes as she looked grief stricken at his loss and her faux pas.

"I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot." She told him, he gave a small shake of his head. She tried to put space between them but he gently held onto her hand. He knew it was selfish and he wasn't going to speculate the reasons behind it but he didn't want to lose physical contact with her. He felt if he did, he might lose her for good.

"It's ok, You didn't know." He told her, he looked down at her hand that was still in his. He felt her pulse jumping all over the place.

"I'm still sorry for your loss. You're a good man, you deserved better." she told him in a low voice.

"We all did." Mike told her as he looked up and their gazes locked. There was a moment of shared grief and intimacy he hadn't felt with another person in a very long time. It made him feel less alone in the world than before. She moved back to sitting beside him, her hand in his and rested her head on his shoulder; they just sat in a companionable silence.

* * *

A few days later,

"Fever?" Heggen asked Mike, the man had been asking Mike a lot of questions. Some he understood while others left Mike feeling like the man was seeing how much information he got out of Mike. At least they stopped asking about his bowel habits, as there nothing Mike disliked more than a prostate exam was talking about how much a normal guy should defecate. But it was the hoops he had to jump through before he was cleared for light duties.

"Nope." Mike told him as he endured this check up as it was just a formality that needed to be done so he could get on with his day.

"Sweats?" Heggen asked as he checked Mike's pupil reactions.

"Nada." Mike replied, normally he'd be ticked off by now about Heggen trying to blind him with a pen. But he was strangely mellow about it all. The remains of the Nostos, he assumed but he was grateful to be mellow for a while and the hallucinations had stopped. That was a blessing as it eased his grief and allowed him to focus. Something that hadn't been easy when he kept seeing his kids around the place.

"Heart racing?" Heggen asked.

"Cool as a cucumber. But if you keep shining that light in my eye, Heggen, things might change." Mike joked, Heggen chagrined as he turned off the light and looked over his shoulder at Rios who was taking notes.

"I think he's back to normal, Sir." he replied as he pocketed his penlight.

"Okay." Rios said, he changed placed with Heggen and looked to Mike. "Um, in your own words, Sir, describe how you're feeling." Rios said, he hugged the file he'd been writing in to his chest; giving Mike his full attention.

"Pretty good, actually. Hard to describe. I have this, uh, sense of inner peace. Nothing bothers me. I love everyone. It's terrible." Mike said making a face and it was to a certain extent as he liked caring about things and it was hard to get angry at things that should piss him off. It just felt unnatural to be this zen when everything was a mess.

"That's fascinating. I've been studying the Red Rust's effects on various commelinids. Most of them wheat, rice, corn they failed to thrive once the virus reached the cellular level. But for this one weed, the virus turned into a powerful hallucinogen that we know as Nostos. Had you been a smaller man, I doubt we'd ever have seen you again." Rios told him, Mike nodded pretending that understood what Rios was harping on about. But the last part stuck with him as he did know one thing, if he could go back into Nostos; just the happy memories and fade out of this world. He would, he just couldn't and wouldn't ever admit it out loud.

"How is Ms Khan?" Mike asked as she was definitely skinnier than him and had been taking Nostos longer than him. Rios and Heggen's expressions were not inspiring confidence given the woman was asleep in the offside room that had two bunks.

She looked worse than she had a few days ago and the only reason she had ended up in the Infirmary was due to her having a seizure in the women's shower room. Luckily, Sasha had been there at the time and was able to call for help, but after that Naz had been under constant supervision.

"Not doing as a well as you. The detox is taking longer than yours and the withdrawal symptoms she is experiencing are quite the opposite to yours. I'd say the long term use of the Nostos has temporarily changed her brain chemistry." Rios offered.

"Will she be able to fly?" Mike asked concerned, he wanted her to go with Sasha back to US. He had tried to speak with Naz about her leaving the ship but she was completely out of it. Every time he popped in after that she was asleep. So this meeting was just a box a form they had to tick. So he was surprised that she wasn't here if she was still doing worse than him.

"It's not ideal but we can make it happen. We'd sedate her and Heggen can monitor her during the flight and escort her to the base hospital in Norfolk. Just say the word." Rios told him.

"But you don't reccomend it." Mike said.

"Not at the moment, but there's a few hours until we reach Tregua Island. She may still come good." Rios said being optimistic.

"Keep me posted on her condition." He told her.

"We will, Sir. As for you. You are cleared for light duties." Rios informed him.

"Thanks." Mike replied, he rose from the stool he'd been sitting on and took one last look at Naz before he left the room.

* * *

Half an hour later,

Mike wore a closed lip smile as he was back in the loop as Captain and in the thick of the current mission that was coming together with ease. Though he knew it had taken a lot of hard work from the people around him and back home.

"That is great news." Sasha said in relief to Mike. The door to the wardroom opened and they all turned to Tom stepped in. She couldn't help but notice Tom's nervousness but it wasn't as off putting as James as he hadn't looked elated at to the news. There was just something off about him that she couldn't put her finger on what it was.

"Captain Chandler." Meylan said in a warm but curt manner to Tom as he joined them in the meeting. "Captain Slattery was just sharing a bit of good news. Commander Garnett managed to locate another plane in Tel Aviv. She's altered the flight plan to meet us at Tregua Island." Meylan added looking rather pleased about how everything was coming together.

"There's an airstrip there. It's private, but operational." Mike said using a laser pointed and marking out the map on the board.

"But most importantly, unlikely to be on Vellek's radar." Sasha said, she wanted to touch wood every five seconds so the plan would not go to hell in a hand basket as they all were excited at the prospect of things finally working out. It was also good to have Mike. He was light duties but they all knew he was back full time and in charge of the Nathan James.

"Turns out, Aegis Ashore was a good call, thank you for that." Mike told Tom who gave a nod but remained silent.

"We're not taking any chances with this plane, as it's probably the last one we'll have at our disposal for some time." Meylan said.

"Nathan James will meet the plane. Ms. Cooper will personally escort the seeds back to our lab in the States, where our scientists are standing by." Mike said looking at Sasha before he looked to the men, "Rest of us, prepare for phase two finding and capturing Dr. Paul Vellek." he finished as he laid out the plan neatly as they had cleaned up Tom's plan and made it work. He was sending Naz on the plane with Sasha to the US with the seeds as they couldn't risk her safety on the ship when it would be in jeopardy.

"Any sign of that Greek warship?" Tom asked.

"Negative." Meylan replied.

"I think it should stay that way until the seeds are far away from the Med." Mike said as he was hoping they'd get the seeds on the plane and drop off their refugees well before they went after Vellek. He wished he could bend fate and make everything work their way but he didn't have that power. But he knew it didn't hurt to put it out there and hope the powers that be granted them what they wanted.

"Sounds like a solid plan." Tom said, he wasn't sure what to do as he felt rather superfluous at the moment and trying to find his feet. Three Captains and one ship, he had a feeling it wasn't going to end well but at least they had a plan. His plan and he was also glad to know Sasha would be taking the seeds back to America as she would be out of danger while the Nathan James captured Vellek.

"And a special thanks to Commander Fletcher for his role in helping secure the seeds." Mike said to James, the man gave a nod and Tom frowned as the man didn't look entirely happy. "Our nation owes you a great debt." Mike told him.

"Feeling's mutual, I'm sure." James remarked, but no one wanted to comment on the lingering sense that perhaps the UK was now unsettled with the agreement that all the seeds would got to America. But they had a deal and the world would reap the benefits when a cure was found for the red rust.

"That is all." Mike told them, the meeting broke up as he left for the bridge.


	10. Chapter 10

"Tregua Island? Well, isn't that a riot?" Harry said with a grin at the coincidence of locations as James just filled him in on the plans. James however was suffering from a mild case of guilt ad couldn't see the humour. "You and I haven't been there since When was it last?" Harry asked as he peeled his orange clearly enjoying the luxury of not having to eat the bitter rind.

"09. Rossi." James said as he looked out to the room. He hated what was going on but most of all, he hated that he was going to betray Sasha and the people who had become friends. He was glad Harry had forgotten about Naz, as James felt there were enough moving pieces in the dangerous game they were playing. If he could get Harry off the ship before the crew could clue in that he was involved. He would be safe.

"That was it. The Rossi mission." Harry said smugly.

"Yes, I'm well aware of your heroics, Harry. Everyone knows what you did."James said as he didn't need reminding of what happened but Harry felt differently.

"Saved your ass more than once, didn't I?" he asked in an amused manner but he didn't wait for James to respond before he continued. "Right, so, let's formulate a new plan, and quickly. The timeline has just been pushed up faster than I anticipated." he said.

"I still don't understand why this has to happen at all, do you realise how mad this is?" James asked in a low voice. Harry gave him a droll look as he didn't want to put up with James' hysterics.

"Humanity is wasting away, Fletch. We both know this is the Americans' last shot. That plane will be the most heavily guarded piece of equipment in the world. A full assault will be too it's crucial the Yanks don't see the U.K.'s hand in this. For the aftermath will be messy." Harry said telling James what he already know, Harry eyed him for a moment as he saw James' restlessness, the guilt and stress eating him up something fierce. He was interpreting James' condition to be a warning sign of trouble. "I wonder, Fletch. Has your time aboard the great ship Nate Jimmy turned you soft?" he asked him, James shot him a dark look.

"And I wonder, Harry, if months of eating dog has turned you feral?" James asked, but he knew the answer Harry was feral long before he ate dog. Harry quirked his lips in a faint smile.

"The new battle lines have been drawn, my friend, and the P.M. has made it crystal clear get the seeds by any means necessary." he told James, "Now you can procure them for me and get me off the ship before she makes port. Or do some of your friends have to die? I managed a good look at Miss Sasha Cooper. She's certainly my type, and with a brain to boot. I do like them better when they got fight in 'em." he said with a sickening grin that made James' stomach curdle as he knew Harry's predilections.

"Or maybe it turns out the Captain of the refugee boat was a pirate after all, with ill intentions. He attacked me when I discovered his true identity. So I had to put him down like a dog. No one will doubt me." James told him, as he refused to let Harry lay a hand on Sasha. Harry reared back and looked at him with new eyes and was clearly suspicious.

"You know, they asked me if you could be trusted. I vouched for you, told them, 'I've known Fletcher longer than anyone. Grew up with him, fought with him. He's the man for the job.' I know you to be a patriot, James. If the shoe was on the other foot, do you think any of these sailors would think twice before following orders from their President?" he asked him, James knew the answer that question that he didn't need to say it out loud. "I'll take care of the seeds myself. You just get me the gear." he told James. He could see James was torn between orders and the people on the ship, such conflicts spelt trouble which meant he would have to do this on his own."Your under orders to call the home office, I presume? To report on the seeds?" he asked.

"Yes." James told him, Harry showed his palm where he had stolen a pen and written a sequence of numbers to call.

"Call this number instead. She's expecting your call." he told James, the man nodded. Harry knew the only reason James was still with him was that Harry could blow his cover in a heartbeat and ruin his sweet life on the Nathan James.

"Got it, Harry." James told him, ready to be free of the man.

"Do you?" Harry asked.

"Yes." James said firmly, he turned to leave when Harry decided to take one last dig.

"Just one last thing." he said, he smiled as James cursed under his breath and turned back.

"What?" James demanded in exasperation.

"Who does one have to kill around here to score a decent cup of tea?" Harry asked, James rolled his eyes and walked away not bothering to answer. Harry couldn't help but chuckle as he used some orange juice to scrub the number off his palm.

* * *

A few hours later,

Mike picked up the photo of his family that he had tucked into the console in front of his chair on the bridge. It was good to be back on duty but the photo was a distraction instead of motivation. He carefully tucked the photo into his jacket and gingerly sat down in his chair. He was still healing from his injuries, so he knew he'd have to take it easy in case someone on the bridge dobbed on him to Rios.

"Captain Chandler on the bridge!" Gator announced, Mike sensed Tom at his side.

"Captain." Mike said before he looked to Tom.

"Captain." Tom replied.

Mike looked out to the murky weather and wished for lightening or something to distract him from the sharp pain that pierced his heart as he thought of the photo. It seemed with every passing hour he was becoming himself again but right now he could've use that the emotional numbness to his advantage but it was fading and his emotions were coming back to the surface. He had to admit that he was glad he was started to hate the half switched on look Diaz was wearing. It meant he was getting better.

"Still no sign of the Greek ships on sonar or radar. We are on PIM to reach Tregua Island at 2100." Mike told him, the weather was not on their side as there was a storm brewing. It was just a question of how bad would it be and if it would slow them down.

"My knees feel bad weather coming. How's the barometer?" Tom asked Gator, he looked out at the cloud coverage and knew a storm was coming.

"Sir, the system to the west is growing rapidly, but if we maintain our current course and speed, we should beat it to Tregua by 3-plus hours." Gator informed them, Mike looked at Tom seeing the cogs turn in his friend's brain.

"Thoughts?" Mike asked him.

"More of a conservative hunch. We've got the window. Maybe we ride the edge of that system, use it to mask our signature from any unfriendlies who might be in the vicinity." Tom told him, Mike gave a wry smile as it almost felt like the good old days.

"OOD, new course, 162." he ordered, "Captain Chandler wants to get his cover wet." he said wryly to Granderson.

"Aye, Sir." Granderson replied, she repeated the order to Helm and soon the ship adjusted to the new course heading, Mike pulled out his Cubans as he'd found the emergency stash last night. He held it out to Tom, offering one.

"I see you found your Cubans." Tom said as he took one of the cigars and sniffed it; enjoying the pungent scent of tobacco.

"Yes, and all is right with the world." Mike lied, but there was a sense in his bones that everything would come good in time. It was more than just hope which was something he wasn't used to feeling. Jeter sidled up to stand beside Tom, he looked to the men.

"Good to have you back. Both of you." Jeter said in a low voice to them.

"Beat me to it, Master Chief." Mike replied with a faint smile as it felt good to be back at work.

* * *

James looked into the armoury as best he could from the outside and saw it was empty, it also sounded empty but then he didn't have a clear view of the room. He had called the number Harry had given him and spoken to Lucia Vellek and as he pretended it was the home office, he felt in his gut that it was all very wrong.

He knew he should fess up to Sasha and Captain Slattery, they deserved the truth but then he thought of his family back home barely surviving. He could nearly convince himself that it would be worth it if they survived, that he would do his service for his country and the crown. Those were the things he was loyal to first, even if it felt wrong. He had a job to do, when his family fed, he'd worry about the state of his affairs. He just needed to survive Harry's company and get him off the ship.

Taking his chance with the Armoury, he pulled open the door and stepped into the room and inwardly cursed as Wolf and Azima were standing in the blind spot of the room. Wolf looked over his shoulder and gave a nod to him.

"Here he is, England's man of the hour." Wolf said warmly, Azima threw a smile in James' direction before she focused on her work.

"Sorry to be a bother. I just need to grab a few of my things." James said, if he'd been alone he would've grabbed a gun and more gear but sadly with Azima and Wolf there; it restricted him to what didn't look suspicious.

"Yeah, sure. Help yourself, mate. Half of this stuff came from the U.K. in the first place." Wolf told him, which was the truth.

"Much appreciated." James replied, he turned his back to them to shield them from seeing what he was packing away in his bag.

"Hey." Azima said, James froze afraid of the questions and wracking his brain to explain why he was holding the small oxygen tank and scuba mouth piece used for short range underwater mission. He turned and saw both Wolf and Azima looking at him. For one paranoid moment he was afraid they knew what was going on.

"What are you going to do? Once you reach home." She asked him, he relaxed at the question.

"Can't say for sure." He replied as casually as he could before he went back to what he was doing. He knew the faster he collected his gear the faster he could get out before Azima and Wolf smelt the betrayal on him.

"You are a farmer?" She asked, he inwardly wished she would leave him alone. But he had to play along and relax when tonight was over and he was muddling his way through saving his neck and deflecting everyone away from thinkinghe shook his head.

"Uh, my family are or they were." James replied.

"I remember. Mine, too." Azima said as she looked at him through the cage with a secretive smile. He knew she liked to tease the men and women on the ship; so he wasn't affected by her charm but attention was rattling his nerves. He knew she was too astute not to read him and see through his calm facade. He just hopes she figured him for being nervous due to their mission of getting the seeds was coming to an end.

"Well, if all goes well, they'll be back at it, won't they?" Wolf said joining the conversation. James gave him a closed lip smile as he could read Wolf's signals as they were shouting loud and clear 'Stay away from my woman'. Something Wolf didn't need to silently tell him given James' heart belonged to Sasha.

"Yeah. Let's hope so." James said, he turned back to what he was doing and packed what he could and zipped up the bag. "Well cheers." He told them and he headed back out the armoury and down the P-Way. He counted his steps and just as he was about to stash the bag, Chief O'Connor stepped into the P-Way.

"Chief." James said in greeting as he kept walking.

"Commander." O'Connor acknowledged, the man kept walking and when his steps faded away, James made a U-turn and went back to the stash point and quickly stashed the bag out of sight. He quickly walked away and headed towards the Helo bay so he could tell Harry exactly where the bag was.

* * *

"Funny. You're back on the ship. Now I'm the one leaving." Sasha said in amusement as she went down a level with Tom on her tail. They had been in CIC talking with the President and then Andrea as they watched the progress of the plane landing at the airfield awaiting Sasha and Naz's arrival with the seeds. She inwardly smiled as Tom groaned behind her, it was one of pain as he wasn't back into the groove of ducking bulkheads and stepping over knee knockers.

"Destiny has other plans for us." Tom told her, she couldn't agree more with him on that front even if it irked her that he'd make it sound like Destiny pulled them apart when really it was him. "At least I'll have plenty of time to get better acquainted with Commander Fletcher." Tom drawled sarcastically.

"I'll bite." Sasha remarked drily not that she cared if her ex wanted to get in her current beau's face but she did think it was a little juvenile of Tom to think he had rights over her and her life. She had to admit she was curious as to what he was on about and why he should be interested at all.

"How much you tell him? About us?" Tom asked, Sasha frowned.

"Fletcher?" she asked surprised he would bring it up at all. He gave her a look that said 'yes'. She gave a noncommittal shrug. Though she had forgotten the ego on Tom as he clearly wanted to see what he meant to her. She'd put him in his place. "Only the important stuff. The rest he can figure out by himself." Sasha told him, she and James only talked about briefly and then he had taken her to bed and taken Tom completely out of her mind.

James had reminded her that a relationship didn't always have to serious or subject to world ending events to happen or in Tom and Sasha's case; not eventuate after two passionate kisses. She looked Tom over as he mulled over her words, a smarmy smile spread across her lips as she realised for once she had the upper hand and Tom's ego in her hand.

"Tom Chandler, are you jealous?" she asked him teasingly.

Tom made a face and looked ready to defend himself when Sasha looked past his shoulder and saw James come into the P-Way.

"Speak of the devil." Sasha said in amusement.

"And he shall appear." James finished for her as he looked between Tom and herself. She couldn't help but see he was a little off put by her and Tom being together in the P-way. Tom looked at the man and back at Sasha looking a little relieved to be off the hook.

"I'll leave you to it." said making a quick exit. Sasha had to admit she had never seen Tom walk so fast from a conversation before as he was now and looked to James amused by it all. But her amusement faded when she took in James' mood. He watched Tom go and wore an expression of concern.

"Everything all right?" James asked him.

"Yeah. Perfect." She assured him.

"I just got off the phone with England. I'm afraid we can't count on them for reinforcements just yet." James informed her, she closed her eyes and shook her head as everything was going so well.

"I'll be so happy to get those seeds on a plane and out of here." she told him in a tired tone, he gave her a look which made her replay her last words and she realised the connotation of them. "You know what I mean." She said as she could see he was hurt by her words.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course I do." he said, but she knew he wasn't convinced. He knew the history between her and Tom, but he also knew she was with him. The part she knew he struggled with most was that they both had allegiances to separate countries and when the mission was over; they had to talk and make decisions about their relationship.

"Promise me you'll be careful, James. You know how dangerous Vellek can be." Sasha told him, he picked up her hand in his and brought to his heart and looked her straight in the eyes. His confidence and loyalty shining through at her.

"I promise I'll be as vigilant as ever, Sasha. You have my word." James promised her, she wore a closed lip smile as she was envious of the mission ahead of him. Because as much as she wanted the seeds in America and to finish that side of the mission; she also wanted to take down the bad guys.

"I wish I could be there when you take him down." she told him.

"You can come back to me and we can celebrate our victory together." he offered with a smile, he stepped closer to her and looked at her lips and then back into her eyes. A clear invitation of what he wanted to do, she looked behind him and saw the P-way was empty and closed the space between them; feeling incredibly naughty and a little excited at the 'inappropriate' behaviour they were displaying.

"Mmm, I like the sound of that." She replied, James be captured her face in one hand, and lowered his mouth. She let it happen, stealing a purely selfish moment to enjoy him as they wouldn't get the chance to have a proper goodbye.

With stealth that made her gasp in joy, he swept his tongue between her lips and kissed her, with one purpose only. Sasha's adrenaline skyrocketed as anyone could catch them. She slid an arm around his neck holding his close taking the risk. She told herself she would pull back shortly but the kiss intoxicated her. It went on and on until the sound of someone opening a bulkhead door in the distance brought them back to reality. They both released each other and smiled as they put unwanted space between them.

"I have to get to the infirmary." She told him reluctantly.

"I can't believe Rios is signing off on her leaving the ship in her condition." he said casually as they both regained their composure as another sailor appeared in the P-way.

"We promised her asylum, and it will help Nathan James' resources to take her back to US. It'll get her away from Tom." Sasha said as there was another bonus for getting off the ship.

"He does have it in for her." James remarked, "But you'll come back right?" he asked her, she knew he silently added 'to me' to the question. She gave him a smile.

"You know how it works. My orders are cut and I gotta go for now. But I'll stay in touch." She told him, she touched his arm and gave him a soft smile before she continued on her way.

* * *

Less than half an hour later, Mike was staring out at some dark clouds that spelt trouble and if that wasn't bad enough CIC just called and confirmed three hydra class vessels had pinged on their radar and were closing in on them.

 _"Bridge, CIC. Confirming contact Bravo is the same Greek warship we encountered off Sardinia._ " Meylan said over internal comms.

"Vellek." Tom sneered as he stood next to Mike. Sasha and James appeared at his side. "He's found us and he's gathered a fleet."

"We're missing a fourth vessel according the Naz's intel. They most likely going to pop up when we least expect to try and board the ship." James said, Mike narrowed his eyes as he wondered if he and James were looking at the same weather. No one would attempt a boarding in storm it was a fast way to drown sailors and rip ships apart. Something a Navy commander should know.

"Not likely, the seas will be too rough by the time the other ships close in. They wouldn't be so stupid." Mike said to James, he didn't need the man scaring the junior members on the bridge who didn't know better.

"Well, he won't fire at us with the seeds on board. So what is their plan?" Sasha asked as they tried to suss out the possible attack plan.

"Only other option that he'll trail us all the way to Tregua, take out that plane before it ever lowers its landing gear." Tom said, which sounded more plausible of anything that had been brought up. Mike got out his chair and went to Gator's station.

"Gator, find us a spot to hide." Mike ordered, Gator looked down at the map on his station.

"Okay, there's a single island up ahead. It's small, but if we could get around it, we could get enough cover to lose him in the island chain further to the south." Gator told him.

"Where?" Mike asked needing the man to point it out for him, so he could give the order to change course.

"Here." Gator pointed at the map. "Asteris. It's the only other island in range." he told them.

"How long until we're there?" James asked.

"About one hour." Gator replied.

"We gotta move." Mike surmised, he turned to Granderson who was OOD, "OOD, come to course 1-7-0, all ahead flank. Make for Asteris." he ordered.

"Aye, , come right steady course 1-7-0, all engines ahead flank." Granderson said repeating his order. Mike moved to the front window and watched the weather on the horizon, hoping he didn't see the ships appear but his gut told him this was just the start of a very long night.

* * *

"All right, next, please." Danny said to the refugees as James came down the stairs. He knew the schedule as the refugees were allowed limited access to facilities. So it was the only time he'd be able to give Harry a time. Part of him was tempted to stay on the bridge and not help Harry but he reminded himself he had his orders.

"Commander." Danny said as he stopped ticking off his roster of refugee names to greet him.

"Gentleman." James said warmly, he smacked Burk on the arm in a friendly manner as he passed him.

"Hello, Fletch." Burk said looking bored. James saw Harry at the end of the line and slowed his pace. Harry looked at him.

"1800." James whispered under his breath before he continued on his way. He was about two floors up and away from Harry when he gave a dark sigh as he felt like an right bastard. He knew who was coming for the Nathan James and how they were going to win. He was going to have to live with his part and pretend to be as shocked as everyone else.

* * *

"They know we have no backup here in the Med. They're either gonna attack us at the LZ or try to surround us before we get there, starve us out." Jeter said stating the ideas being flown around to suss out the best plan for them. They knew CIC and comms were working on decrypting the Greek Warship's comms so they could know what the plan was but until then all they had was supposition.

"If we don't lose them in the islands, we're gonna have to wave off the plane. We can't afford to have it shot down." Mike said as he just wanted a win, just one easy damn win. But it looked like lady luck had turned her back on them. So they had to salvage what they had quickly and make something of it. He just hoped they could get the seeds and Naz on that plane as they both needed to be in the US A.S.A.P.

"How many ships in the Greek Navy, you reckon? besides the four that we know of?" Tom asked out of curiosity.

"No idea. Why?" Mike asked him.

"Well, it's obvious we're looking to hide in the island chain. And they're pushing us right toward it, like they want us to go there." Tom said, Mike looked thoughtful for a moment as he had been thinking the same thing but was reticent say in case he was wrong or worse the Nostos wasn't entirely out of system and he was imagining it.

"You think they got other ships waiting on the other side to ambush?" Mike asked him.

"One way to find out." Tom replied, Mike took a deep inhale and gave a nod. It was daring but worth the risk. So he gave the order to change course.

* * *

Naz laid in the bed curled up in the foetal position, her eyes closed and the familiar scents of home filled her sensed. A cooled washcloth and she opened her eyes for a second she wasn't sure of who was caring for her until her eyes focused. Elias smiled down at her, he sat on a stool in the Nathan James' Infirmary tending to her.

"You remember how you did this for me when I had the red flu?" he asked.

"Feels good." she murmured.

"It's not long now." Elias told her, he pressed the cloth to her fevered forehead. His other hand reached out and touched her face. But she couldn't feel his touch, it used to be a vibrant feeling and now there was nothing. Her heart ached as she felt time run out, the sinking feeling come in her gut. The same she had felt when she held him as he took his last breaths in her arms before he succumbed to the red flu.

"You say that, but you're here even when I feel bloody miserable and don't want you." Naz mumbled teasingly. She pulled her body tighter trying to get comfortable as she was in pain and nauseous.

"You'll feel better soon." he assured her.

"That's reassuring." Naz quipped as she wished she could touch him, wished she could have so many things with him. But he wasn't here, something she needed to remember.

"Naz, you know that I won't be here when you wake up." he told her, she frowned as something wasn't right.

"I don't-"

"You don't need me anymore than you needed the Nostos. It's a good thing." Elias assured her before he gave her a warm smile filled with love. "You were always the best of us and I will always love you." he told her.

"Stay with me." she said desperately as she wasn't ready to let go. She grabbed onto his arm and held it tight so he couldn't pull away. He smiled softly.

"I will for as long as I can." he promised her.

"I love you." she whispered with a watery smile.

* * *

"She's really out of it." Heggen said to Rios as he tried to talk to Naz but she was having an entirely different conversation to someone else. He flipped the cooled cloth onto it's other side on her forehead. He caught Naz's hand in his own, pretending to be who she was hallucinating if only to give her

"It's not uncommon for people to become delirious while fevered." Rios said, he pretended to not be worried but he was. He cared for all his patients and he hated it when he couldn't do anything to fix them. He knew this woman mattered a lot to Sasha and Mike, so he wanted more than anything for the woman to survive. If she did, it would mean it was possible to survive Nostos withdrawal by going cold turkey. But at the moment, it wasn't looking good at the moment.

"Heggen, she's maxed out on acetaminophen. So wait four hours, then she can have another dose." Rios told him, in case the man was tempted just as he was to pour what medicine they had into Naz in the hopes of fixing her. But he'd learnt that it wasn't the answer. Sometimes the hardest treatment was to do nothing but wait out the symptoms.


	11. Chapter 11

"They've adjusted course 20 degrees to port, now heading 1-2-0." Jeter announced to the Bridge, he turned the screen to show Mike and Tom just as much. It confirmed their suspicions, the Greeks were pushing the Nathan James where they wanted them.

"No doubt about it, they want us to round that island." Mike said as he moved back to the front of the bridge, his adrenaline was starting to kick in as the game was on. He had to admit it felt good to have the A-Team back together. Everything seemed to just feel the right mix of skills, chemistry and ingenuity.

"Gator, options?" Tom asked the man.

"Sir, we can't continue along this bearing for much 's a rocky outcropping of shallows. It'll tear us apart." Gator informed them.

"Rocks in front of us, enemies around us, and a storm closing in from behind. We're trapped." Jeter told them, Mike remembered a familiar training exercise in his early days of training as a bridge officer and he thought it was a good idea to read up on the history of Naval warfare. He knew Tom was a fan of history so he had to know where he was going.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" he said looking at Tom, the man looked straight at Mike for half a second before the same thought came to him too.

"Trafalgar." he said, Mike nodded, it was a dangerous manoeuvre but the pay off would be worth it. "Turn and charge, break through their line." Tom stated, making sure they were on the same page. Mike gave a nod.

"Lose them in the storm." Mike finished, before he turned his attention to the bridge crew. "Never mind the maneuvers, boys. We're going straight at 'em!" he ordered as he moved to the back of the ship and pulled out the receiver for the P.A. system. He didn't bother to wait for the whistle as there wasn't time. "General quarters, general quarters. All hands, man your battle stations. Make ready for heavy seas." Mike ordered, he hung up the receiver and moved back to stand next to Tom.

* * *

James heard the call for 'General Quarters' as he ran through the ship and tried to avoid notice as much as possible as it was nearing 1800 hours. But it was to rendezvous with Harry and make sure the man got the seeds and off the Nathan James as soon as possible. James couldn't wait to get the man off the ship, he just hoped the rest of the plan fell into place and Sasha never knew what he'd done. But most importantly, he wanted it all to be over and soon it would be; one way or another.

* * *

"CIC, Bridge. TAO, fire defensive measures only." Mike ordered as he was perched in his chair, holding on the phone reciever, the rain was coming down in heavy sheets making visibility poor. But he could just make out the ships in the distance, they were carving through the choppy water just as fast as the Nathan James. If they were off even the slightest in their course. It would get messy and not the fun kind.

" _TAO, aye. Switching weapons to CIWS, defensive posture ALPHA._ " Kara said, her voice carrying confidently over the line as she acknowledged his orders.

"Steady, Helm. Steady." Jeter said to Diaz in the background.

" _Bridge, CIC. Range 1,000 meters and closing_." Kara announced over internal comms, Mike looked out the front window waiting for a sign that the other ships would attack as they didn't have any other option. His heart was doing flip flops as they were going to be able to look at the faces of their enemy and literally flip them the bird.

"She won't fire." Tom assured Mike as the ships closed the space between them. He knew they were far from a collision course with the ships but damned if his heart wasn't pounding from the excitement and tense moment as their ship sailed straight between two Greek ships without shooting off a single round or incurring any damage themselves. While he knew it was a small feat worthy of a victory dance he held off as he didn't want to jinx them.

"We may have one this round but we now have to face the storm." Mike said in a low voice, before he rose from his chair and started giving orders. He needed to make sure the crew and ship were prepared for the next challenge.

* * *

Rios was glad Naz was finally asleep as he wasn't ready to restrain her to the bed. He knew he should given the storm but he was afraid of her waking up and hallucinating she was a prisoner. That kind of fear in his mind made him imagine that it could put her into cardiac arrest. That was worse than broken bones and concussions in his mind.

"Rios, we have injured in the Helo and I need help." Heggen told him as he leaned through the door frame. Trying not to fall over in the rocking of the ship as it traversed the storm.

"Ok, on my way. Be careful in the p-ways, it can be rough." Rios reminded him, the man nodded as he tried to make his way out the infirmary. He had to fight gravity to not smack into the doorway going out of the infirmary as the ship rolled steeply down a wave. He looked to Naz's vital monitor and checked her temperature that was still incredibly high.

"You picked the perfect time to fall asleep. Just stay asleep for my sake." he quipped wryly. He pulled an oxygen mask and placed it on her face. He doubled checked everything that could be tacked down was secure, once he was satisfied, he looked at Naz's sleeping form; satisfied that she wouldn't wake up, he headed out of the infirmary.

* * *

Less than ten minutes later, the Nathan James was taking a thrashing from the storm. They had barely had time to get into their wet gear, crew were scrambling the ship, sealing all the frames they could and securing the ship best they could. Mike and the others on the bridge, leaned their weight forward, rolling with the waves so they didn't lose their balance and fall but it was a struggle to stay upright.

"OOD, come to 12 knots. Make bear steerage way." Mike said as he held onto the arm of his chair for support as the ship climbed up and then took a steep dip. His stomach dropped with the ship, then the prow of the ship crashing through a hard wall of ocean and Mike felt nauseous but it had more to do with ship's progress and if they'd get out the storm as he was not prone to seasickness. Water splashed across the front windows, submerging it completely before the ship buoyed up again. While the water drained away, rain pelted the windows as visibility was nonexistent beyond the prow. That was when the ocean wasn't splashing into the window.

"Aye, sir. Helm, come to 12 knots. Make bear steerage way." Granderson shouted over the noise of the storm and the alarms of systems that were blaring making them away of the hell they were currently enduring was not good for the ship or them.

"Helm, aye." Diaz shouted, Mike had to admire the kid as it was his first time steering in rough seas and he wasn't falling to pieces like men his age would; instead he was getting the job done. Mike's stomach dropped as the ship was belted to the side, but that didn't concern it. It was the fact that the horizon disappeared.

"We're coming up on another one!" Tom shouted, he like Mike wore a pained expression as this one was going to hurt.

"Brace! Brace! Brace!" Mike shouted, anything loose that hadn't ended up on the floor went flying as the ship crashed into the wall of water. Mike grunted he felt the bruising force reverberate through his joints as he was nearly yanked out of his seat. Water blocked out the view and he looked behind him to see Tom pick up Jeter who had fallen.

"I'm all right." Jeter assured Tom as he went to find a better place to stand. Mike wished he had time to be concerned but it would have to wait as window cleared and the prow of the ship was visible through the front windows. He was glad they had had time to bring in the crew from outside as they would've been washed out to sea by now.

"Captain, we're approaching the navigable semicircle of the storm now!" Gator told him.

"If we don't lose them before the wind shifts, we never will." Mike told Tom as they had two Greek Naval vessels on their ass. It was only luck that the storm hadn't found a way to crash them closer to the Greeks. But so far, they had distance, enough to know collision wouldn't be an issue but the storm was more than enough to contend with.

"Captain, she's pulling hard to port! I can't hold her steady!" Diaz shouted from the back.

"Fuel's already been redistributed." Mike said, as he tried to place where the weight was being unevenly distributed to make the ship pull.

"It's our live ballast!" Tom shouted, he moved to helm and pulled the phone reciever off the console. "M-A-C, Bridge, get the live ballast against the starboard bulkhead! M-A-C, Bridge!" he called, Mike picked up his phone to call down to CIC only to find the lines down. "Shit! Internal Comms are down!" Tom said.

* * *

"I'll go!" Sasha shouted, she raced off the bridge. She'd been racing around the ship helping where she could. She had never been on a destroyer in a storm but it was much wilder than on larger vessels. She knew she'd have bumps and bruises for the next week from how she was being thrown around but she wouldn't be alone.

She headed down to M-A-C, and slammed straight into a wall as the ship took a harsh tip. She groaned as her shoulder complained at the hit but she didn't stop as she ran down the stairs to the next level as she could check her injuries later.

* * *

Naz smiled as she rolled out of bed, feeling the heat of the sun. It was going to be a scorcher of a day. Her mobile phone pinged, she looked at the clock at saw it was nearly 7:30am. She groaned and whimpered as it was supposed to be her sleep in day.

"That better not be work." Elias told her sleepily. She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled. He looked so incredibly sexy; all roughed up with sleep and looking at her like she were a perfectly brewed coffee.

"You know I can't say 'No'. It's a heatwave, all the crazies come out in the heat." she said as she looked at her phone. She gave a sigh as it was work calling her in. "I have to go." she told him.

"But the beach." Elias pouted.

"Tomorrow." She promised.

"It's storming and 21 degrees tomorrow." he said with a pout. She put her phone to the side and crawled over to him with a salacious smile.

"Perfect, we'll stay in all day and I'll make it up to you in all your favourite ways." she said before she kissed him. He tried to pull her in for more but she pulled away and scrambled off the bed with a laugh as Elias groaned. "I have work, the City needs me." she joked as she pulled her police uniform from the wardrobe and headed to the bathroom.

"I need you!" he told her.

"You'll survive." She assured him with a laugh.

* * *

The ship took a hard fall to the starboard side, everything loose that Danny and the others hadn't had time to secure slid right at them. Women and children screamed as the lights blinked on and off. Thunder sounded so loudly, they could feel the crackling of air around them. Danny, Wolf, Azima, Burk and the crew members made a protective shield stopping the debris from hitting the refugees.

"All right, let's get ready to move!" Danny shouted over the noise, Wolf and Burk grabbed rope and started making their way to the other side of the room. It was a hard climb due to the ship being nearly on it's side. But they made it and tied off the rope.

"We're gonna go one by one! We have to balance the weight together." Danny shouted, Azima and Sasha shouted out Danny's orders letting the refugees know what they were they doing. He just hoped they understood as they didn't need anyone panicking anymore than they already had.

"Ready?" Danny asked Wolf, the man checked the rope.

"Yeah! Good!" Wolf said, Burk gave a thumbs up before he motioned at Rios to start pushing Refugees his way. It was hard to get them moving as they were scared out of their minds but as the crew moved out with them; not using the rope they slowly gained confidence and started moving more quickly.

"She's got a child." Wolf told Danny pointing to the woman coming up to him. She was starting to lose her footing. They both moved to her, helping her across so she wouldn't drop the child.

"You hold on to that baby, okay? Hold on to that baby." Wolf told the mother as he helped her get to the other side.

Sasha held a small child to the open door, shielding him from falling back into the wall behind them. It was a mess in here and if the ship didn't balance out soon; they'd be in a whole new level of trouble.

 _"I'm scared, are we going to die?_ " the boy asked her in Arabic.

" _No, we're not going to die. Don't be afraid. Now, move. Get Moving._ " She said as she pulled him out from the wall and pushed him up to Burk who moved to grab the boy. " _Keep moving._ " she told him, Burk grabbed the kid by the back of his life jacket and pulled him to the rope and helped him to halfway to Miller who got the kid to the other side.

She shouted at the others to keep moving when she noticed a man break from the wall clutching his chest. Azima was on him, he didn't look good. "Rios! Heggen." Sasha shouted, the men looked her way and she pointed at where Azima was, both turned just in time to see the man drop to the floor.

"Corpsman!" Azima shouted.

"Go!" Rios shouted at Heggen as he was closest. The man jumped into action and slid under the rope and rushed the other side of the man. He helped open the vest as he tried to assess what was happening as the refugee groaned in extreme pain.

"It's okay. Take it easy, sir." He told him, not able to get a good read, Heggen made the call "Let's move him to medical." he told Azima, she gave a nod as she started to gather men and gear to help them.

* * *

James headed down the p-way with some control as the storm seemed to ease and the ship had balanced out enough to allow him to stop crashing into the walls like a drunk man. He was halfway to the infirmary when he saw Miller, Wolf and Azima come his way carrying a person.

"It's all right. I got him!" Miller said.

"Make way, Commander! Coming through." Wolf told James, he stepped back and out of their way as they turned the corner to head into the infirmary.

"Can I help?" James asked, he looked down and saw it was Harry laying on the stretcher. He looked up at James daring him to say something. But James kept silent as he knew they were behind schedule and in a right mess. As they were no where near Asteris which meant Harry would have to jump off with the seeds in a storm and survive until the Greeks picked him up. Something James knew he wouldn't struggle with as the man was like a cockroach, he'd survive anything. And clearly, Harry was not giving up the plan as he played the act of being injured.

"No, we just gotta get him to medical." Miller said as he and Wolf carried Harry towards the infirmary. James gave a nod and watched them go before he kept on his way. He'd circle back when it was safe and meet Harry in the infirmary. He pushed out a nervous breath as he turned a corner and nearly smacked right into Naz.

"Sorry." he said to her, but she looked straight through like he wasn't there. He frowned as he waved a hand in front of her face. She didn't blink or acknowledge him at all.

She was sweating profusely and her eyes were glazed over. He half expected her to talk to him but she was off in her own world. He moved slowly and carefully out of her way. She walked right past him. He knew he should get her help but figured her roaming the hallways would serve them as an easy distraction.

* * *

"We got a big one coming portside." Jeter announced to the bridge. Mike had hoped they had reached the eye of storm as the ocean seemed calmer and the rain had eased off but it looked like no such luck

"OOD, I have the conn." Mike ordered as they'd have to do some quick steering to make sure this one didn't hit as bad as the last.

"Aye, Captain has the conn." Granderson said acknowledging the change of command structure on the bridge. Mike leaned on the arm of his Chair and analysed the ocean looking for the best course.

"Helm, hard left rudder!" Mike ordered.

"Hard left rudder, aye!" Diaz repeated as he performed his orders. Tom reached for the phone as he had been eyeing radar and noticed a change but wanted confirmation. Luckily, internal comms had been restored once the ship righted itself and crews were able to rectify the issue.

"CIC, Bridge. I'm showing a single contact on radar." he said to Meylan, he held onto the consol before him as the wave hit and the ship rocked from the force of the collision.

"Copy and confirmed, Captain Chandler. We lost Alpha in the storm." Meylan confirmed.

"We got one left." Tom said glad that they had lost one in the storm. It evened out their odds if the storm passed and they were left with having to fight. But it did make him question where the third vessel from before had gone to.

"Captain, the storm is pushing us back toward Asteris island!" Gator told them.

"How far?" Mike demanded before he shouted another course adjustment to Diaz.

"8 nautical miles!" Gator informed him, they had been so entirely turned around trying to avoid being rolled over by the ocean that they had unwittingly come full circle.

"If they've set an ambush, we're heading right for it." Tom told him, Mike looked up at the screen that showed radar and weather system. He couldn't help but snort a laugh.

"Good luck to 'em. Storm's coming for all of us now and the Hydra class is top heavy." Mike said, glad they weren't the Greeks and glad that the Arleigh Burk was built to take a beating that this storm could kick out.

"I have a visual on the island." Jeter told them, Mike looked to the portside and could barely make it out as the rain had started pouring down in heavy sheets again. He looked out to the ocean trying to judge what the best path was as he knew the water was going to get shallow. He didn't need them scraping the hull or worse.

"We gotta ride the troughs, get between the waves. Hard right rudder, all ahead two thirds! " Mike ordered, as it was the only option he could see at this point.

"Hard right rudder, aye! All ahead two thirds!" Diaz replied.

"We're gonna put our beam to the seas until we lose that last contact." Mike told them all. The phone reciever before him rang, Tom picked it up before Mike had to contemplate how to pick it up without busting a stitch.

"Comms, Bridge, keep looking. It's out there." Tom said, he held onto the phone and looked to Mike. "Comms, has lost comms for the other ship. She may have something." he told him.

"Good." Mike said, as it meant they were out of range, he was going to take the respite until the ships caught up with again. He looked to Granderson, "OOD, you have the conn." he told her.

"Aye, sir." She replied.

"Come to course 2-1-5. Keep us zigzagging until we hit the navigable side of the storm." Mike ordered, Granderson piped out the orders and Diaz did as he was instructed, Mike looked to Tom and they both knew this was the only time they might get to step off the bridge and find out what comms had for them.

* * *

Harry stood up from the medical officer's dead body, he'd been easy to incapacitate but he was sure it would be the only easy part of this mission. He moved the fridge and pulled on the door and found it aggravatingly locked. He didn't have time to search for a key, so he pulled a couple paper clips from file and quickly used them. The lock popped open and smiled as he lifted the canister of seeds out of the fridge.

"Easy as pie." he remarked, he heard the sound of shuffling and fighting just before the door opened and James pushed two dead bodies of the sailors who were supposed to be guarding the seeds into the room. "Bout time you showed up." He joked, James gave him a dark look.

"Come on. Let's get this over with." James told him.

"Show me to the air tanks and I'll gladly jump off this ship." Harry joked but James found nothing funny about it.


	12. Chapter 12

"What you got, Chief?" Mike asked as he, Tom and Sasha met in the P-way with the comms officer Chief Rain. The rain was hitting the ship hard, it was loud enough to hear it in the p-ways that weren't even close to the exterior of the ship.

"I was monitoring signals from the Greek ships. I ran an ID check against all prior calls routed through our satellite." she said as she showed them the logs, Mike normally be keen to show interest and look but they didn't have a lot of time and he didn't like the idea of staying off the bridge too long while they were still in a storm.

"And?" Mike asked her, he just needed her to talk and he could see it was bad news due to her reticence. It was not what they needed in the middle of a storm with three Greek Vessels after them. There was still a fourth out there that hadn't shown itself.

"It's Commander Fletcher." she said in an uneasy manner.

"What about him?" Sasha asked with a frown as she wondered what he had to do with it.

"He did not place a call to the London Home Office this afternoon. He contacted another ship." She told them, Mike narrowed his eyes as he tried to make sense of what was going on here.

"Who'd he call, Chief?" Tom asked.

"The channel he used matches that of the Bravo contact we identified as the Greek Navy's flag." She told them, Mike felt his stomach drop as he couldn't believe this was happening. That someone on their ship, someone in their inner most circle was a traitor. He could only imagine what Sasha was feeling as her expression closed off; making her unreadable.

"He gave the Greeks our position." Tom stated looking taken aback by the information that James had betrayed them. He looked to Sasha who was wide eyed and wore an expression of disbelief and pain.

"That's how they found us in the first place. They knew where we were going." Mike said, hating that he was saying as much as he felt for Sasha. She was a good friend, her partner had just committed the worst sin. He looked to Sasha feeling for her as she was closest to the man. She looked like she was reeling from the news as much as them.

"The seeds." Tom said, he didn't wait for them to talk it out as he took off in the direction of the infirmary.

"I have to find James." Sasha told Mike, there was a slight quaver in her voice but before Mike could order her to stand down she started to run. He had to follow her just in case he had to stop her from doing something she'd regret.

"Alert the Master-at-arms and duty gunner's mate." Mike ordered Chief Rain as he followed her, he knew right now that she was a loose cannon and not knowing what James was up to he wasn't going to let her run off on her own without back up.

"Yes, Sir." Chief Rain said as she took off to do as Mike ordered.

* * *

Naz smiled as she felt like she flying; she was so happy. Everything glowed and colours were so vibrant as Elias held her hand pulling her through the tangled maze in Victoria with his 6 and 7 yr old nieces. He placed a finger to his lips as if to say 'quiet'. A smile played on his lips as they were fairly close to catching up with the girls. They slowly crept and then suddenly she felt a deep pain seared through her chest.

She dropped to the ground, her surroundings darkened, grew very cold and went grey. It felt like someone had their hand in her chest; they grabbed her heart and twisted so hard she fell to the floor the pain was so intense.

Thunder rumbled through the air, the warmth of the sun faded away and it grew cold. The soft green grass sank down as blood rose up, bile rose in her throat as she looked around and saw she was sitting in a field of dead bodies and utter destruction. The sky was black and thunder rumbled again so loudly she felt it in her bones. Lightening streak across sky, she gasped as she saw the faces of those around her. The team she was attached to had returned to base to find the place decimated. It was eerily quiet as she and the others had been searching for survivors from the massacre.

She heard the footfalls of boots, she knew pushed to her feet and grabbed her rifle. She spotted Lieutenant Steele. His face covered he was dressed shabbily, his clothes filthy- he wore the armband denoting he was a coalition soldier. He pointed out into the field, she saw the Immune soldiers fleeing. The assholes most likely pilfering from the dead. Seething at their gall and indecent loss of life; she picked up the soldier's rifle. She was not going to let them get away with this.

* * *

"Stop and surrender your arms!"

Harry froze at the familiar voice and turned to find Naz standing behind him. A smile curled his lips as she stood her ground; completely locked in some delusion as she held her body like she was holding a gun and ready to shoot him. She looked ready to keel over as she was incredibly pale and shaking, but even so, she wore a determined expression. He chuckled, as this was unbelievable. Part of him wanted to toy with her but he just didn't have the time or day.

He took off running, expecting her delusions to shift, he ducked into the ship's mess hall and just made it to the tables when Naz tackled him from behind. They crashed to the floor in a mess of limbs and he cursed as he watched the canister of seeds roll away.

"Bitch." Harry cursed at her as he shoved her off of him. They both got to their feet and stumbled as the ship rocked violently. Once the ship balanced out, she was came at him with her fists; not willing to let the fight go even when it was a losing battle.

* * *

"You hear that?" Mike asked Sasha as he swore he heard a hatch open and close. The p-ways were supposed to be clear of non-essential crew bar Vulture team who were in on the search for James. No one should be in their section unless it was James.

"What?" she asked, she looked determined but also frantic to find James. They kept the alarm off in fear of alerting James to the fact they knew they were onto him. But even so, the search was frustratingly slow as they had to open and close one hatch at a time as they passed through the p-ways.

"This way." Mike said as he followed his instinct and raced in the direction he was sure he heard a hatch slam against a frame. They passed into another p-way and saw the hatch open and swinging with the ship's movement. They moved to the frame, Mike stepped through, he was immediately greeted with the scent of blood, he moved towards the source and found Johnny their Master of Arms, he laid in a pool of his own blood by a stair well. His head caved in.

"Cooper! Here!" He shouted as Sasha closed the hatch behind her. Mike knelt down; careful of the blood and checked for a pulse. He shook his head. "Oh, Johnny." he murmured as the man had been a friend and good sailor. "He's gone." Mike said to Sasha as he took in the blood, there was a trail of blood heading up the stairs.

"Oh, God, Fletcher. What have you done?" Sasha said, she went to the emergency alarm ready to pull it when it went off on it's own.

* * *

Tom stood at the emergency alarm, hand on the lever. The Alarm sounded in the air alerting the crew. He looked at the dead bodies on the floor of the infirmary, anger boiling in him as there was no way James could've done this alone. He passed the empty fridge, moved to the charts of the patients who were last treated and to see who was missing.

"Trawler captain and Naz." He murmured to himself as he looked between the two charts and the empty beds. He was surprised by the refugee but Naz's deception? Not so much. If anything he felt vindicated in not trusting her from the beginning. It was clear they were working as a trio and the trawler captain helped get Naz and the seeds out of the infirmary. James was in charge of their exit strategy.

"God dammit." he cursed he hated that that he was right and that they'd been played but right now was time to gear up and get the seeds back; make sure the trio faced justice for what they had done. He threw the charts onto bench and headed out of the infirmary.

* * *

"Security alert! Security alert! Seal all exits to the ship! Man reaction forces!" Captain Slattery ordered over the P.A. system. Danny, Burk and Miller were racing through the ship; searching every room, hoping to catch up with Fletcher or anyone who was out of place.

Burk held up his hand signalling for them to stop as they came to the mess. They heard the sounds of a fight and drew out their weapon. He counted down from two and they filed into the room with their weapons raised.

"Stop!" Burk ordered as they found Naz fighting with a refugee. The two were so thick into their fight they ignored Burk, Miller and Danny.

Burk tried to find a shot but Naz was in the way, he like Danny holstered his weapon and moved towards the two to pull them apart. As they got closer, the refugee became aware of them. He took a punch to face but ultimately got the upperhand on Naz and pulled her into an arm lock. He snapped her arm, she cried out in pain. He shoved her at Miller and ducked under a table. Danny and Burk tried to follow but the ship rocked, sending them off their feet. By the time they recovered the refugee had a head start and the seeds in his hand.

"She's not breathing!" Miller said to them as knelt over Naz's prone form after protecing her from debris rolling in the mess from the storm. Burk looked at Danny as Miller started chest compressions.

"Go, I'll catch up." Burk said, he knew Danny was faster on his feet. The man took off. Burk ran to the phone on the wall and called medical to the mess hall. Once done he hung up the phone.

"Dude, cover Green. I'm good." Miller told him, Burk gave a nod and raced after Danny.

* * *

Tom had ran into Burk and Danny who informed him where they'd last seen the Trawler Captain before he jammed up the hatches cutting off access and getting away. Tom got a hunch that the man was heading to the flight deck. It was the only escape off the ship.

The hunch had paid off as he'd been out in the rain for less than ten minutes when he saw two men fighting. One was in bright red reflector jacket which Tom knew would be worn by someone on the crew. So he shot off two shots; nailing the guy in dark clothing in the back just before he could stab the crewman. The man raced off picking something off the ground before he ran in the direction of the flight deck.

Tom raced across to the sailor on the ground, his gun raised in case the man was not alone or came back to ambush him. As he closed in on the sailor he saw who it was.

"O'Connor!" Tom said, he holstered his gun and crouched down by the man, trying to assess his injuries in the dark.

"Captain" O'Connor said in a weak and pained voice, Tom pulled back the collar of the jacket to see the blood pooling out around O'Connor's wound. Tom pressed his fingers into the wound hoping to stem the bleeding and give him time.

"No! Damn it! O'Connor!" Tom cursed, he shook the man to keep him conscious while silently begging someone to find them and get help. "Stay with me, son! Stay with me!" Tom ordered, but even as he pressed into the wound, he felt O'Connor's pulse grow weak as blood covered Tom's hands.

Then he was gone, O'Connor exhaled and his body just flagged and gave up. Tom fought back the tears and replaced it with anger. He closed O'Connor's eyes and pulled out his weapon and went on his way as there was only one way left to fix this.

* * *

James made it onto the flight deck without further detection from the crew but he knew they'd find him eventually. Rain pelted into his skin as the storm raged at them. He looked for Harry and aw the man stumble onto the deck. He rushed to him.

"Harry!" James said, he inwardly cursed as the man was clearly too injured to leave the ship. Their plan was FUBAR anyway but still, James felt gypped.

"Right on time, as always." Harry told him, he grunted in pain as he rolled onto his back and held up the canister. "Here it is, the future of the world. I'm afraid it's all up to you now, Fletch." he told James.

James took the burden of the seeds from the man and packed the canister into the bag. He zipped it up and swung it across his chest and looked out to the water. He reminded himself that he had his orders, his oath.

But still he hesitated from jumping into the water. He wasn't afraid, he just couldn't move as this was it. The do or die moment as he could surrender and disobey orders. He could shame his family or do as ordered and jump.

* * *

Sasha came out onto the flight deck and first saw a dead body of a refugee. He was the man who collapsed in the Helo bay some time ago. Her eyes scanned the flight deck until her eyes landed on James. She pulled her gun from the back her jeans.

Anger, disbelief and a myriad of other emotions she didn't want feel or acknowledge ran through her at the sight of the man she had been in a relationship for over six months. That he'd betray them all- No, He had betray her and now he left her in an impossible situation. She held her gun at the ready, her finger on the trigger. She should just pull the trigger and ask the questions burning within her.

"Fletcher!" She shouted, he turned around and looked at her with such longing and regret. Her gun wavered as part of her truly didn't want to believe their relationship to come to this.

"I'm sorry." He shouted over the storm, he just shook his head as if he couldn't believe they were here in such a short time either. But he made his choice.

"Don't!" Sasha shouted, as he ran to jump off the ship. She fired off a shoot to make him stop but it didn't work. She knew she hit him as he jerked and dived poorly off the back off the ship. She rushed to the back of the ship and stopped at the railing. She looked out into the ocean and lowered her weapon, her whole body shaking in the rain and cold of the night. He was gone.

* * *

A couple hours later,

"We'll have the refugees for a few more hours before we drop them off. I say we go at them again. Hard. They have to know something of worth." Meylan said as they had only made preliminary enquiries.

Mike said nothing as he leaned on the back of chair biting the tip of his thumb as they had reached a dead end. On the wardroom table laid all of the Trawler Captain's belongings and Fletcher's. They were trying to find some link between the two.

Mike couldn't help it but his mind was elsewhere as he worried about Naz and Sasha. Naz was thankfully alive but not in good shape physically and it seemed Sasha was an emotional reflection of the same state. She sat at the head of the table not looking at them as she tried hard not to cry. He felt her open wounds and the questions burning in her mind. Answers that would probably never heal the damage Fletcher had reaped as he had ripped open even older wounds left by Tom.

Mike had a feeling if they all the left the room she would sink into a puddle. Hell, if he were in her shoes, he would sink into a puddle of tears and grief. She had been in a relationship with the guy for six months only to be blindsided. No one would be ok after what happened, which was why no one judged her or tried to point out the fact that she had been closest to James. And anyway, it looked like she was punishing herself whether she deserved it or not. She wouldn't listen to reason until she ready to.

Tom was not helping the situation as he just stared at Sasha, he hadn't added much to the conversation either as he remained silent while Meylan and Mike tried to suss it out. But there wasn't a narrative that comfortably fit for them. Sasha tried to speak but she couldn't seem to form proper sentences without her emotions getting the better of her.

The door opened and they all looked to see Jeter come in and closed the door.

"Anything?" Mike asked, hoping beyond all hope they found James' corpse floating in the ocean with the seeds attached to him but no such luck as Jeter's expression was grim.

"Helo's still in the air, scanning the water with infrareds, but so far, nothing, Sir." Jeter said as he stood to the side of the room. They all took a moment to digest the situation. It was all lost, they had lost everything and they didn't even know where to start. Meylan picked up the photo of the Trawler captain and slammed it on the table.

"There is absolutely nothing in these belongings to suggest that the refugee was an actual trawler captain or even Middle Eastern, for that matter." Meylan stated, an edge of anger to his tone. It was not the first time they chewed over what they made of the information ad evidence they had before them.

"No question he and Fletcher were working together from the beginning. Much as I hate him right now, I hope to God he survived the swim, for the seeds' sake." Mike said, another knock sounded on the door and Mike felt some hope bloom as it could only mean someone with good news.

"He survived." Tom said with confidence as he leaned against the wall. "Greeks must have had a ship waiting behind Asteris. That's why they were pushing us towards the island." he added, he also knew they would've found a body by now.

"England's Prime Minister claims Fletcher went rogue. That he was acting alone. POTUS isn't buying it." Mike said as he looked at Tom, he seemed a little too comfortable with what was going on. He knew Tom hated the hits they had taken but boy did the events of last night make the mission to Vellek that more personal for them all. Thus vindicating Tom's position.

"Neither should we." Tom said.

"But why throw away an alliance with the U.S.? It's not like they're any closer to finding a cure for the Red Rust than we are." Sasha said, she pressed her lips together and swallowed hard as sob was stuck in her throat, one she refused to cry.

She hated her traitorous tear ducts as blinked back tears. She refused to cry anymore than she had in front of the men. There was no way in hell she'd break down in front of Tom. Mike was fine, he'd seen her messy and vice versa. There was an unwritten trust between them. But Tom? she couldn't, she felt she'd be giving him power over her. She knew somewhere deep inside him; he cared for her but she didn't want his pity or sympathy.

Frankly, the burning questions in her mind were the same she had for Tom since he left her over a year ago. She had thought Tom and Fletcher couldn't be more different when in fact they were the same man. God, she was tired of giving her heart, blood, and sweat for men who walked away when things got tough... o _r when they got exactly what they wanted from you.._. a dark inner voice reminded her.

"The UK must have cut a side deal with Vellek. Planted the 'Trawler Captain' on the refugee boat, knowing we'd be compelled to pick 'em up." Mike said, he moved to the map and looked at the area they had to cover. "He got the word to Fletcher, then they killed five of our men. Mike said O'Connor saved our asses more than once. Heggen, too. Now they're dead. If Fletcher's still out there, then so are the seeds. So we all know what our mission is. I want damage and readiness reports in one hour. That is all." Mike told them, leaving the room, Meylan and Jeter followed Mike out leaving Tom and Sasha in the room.

Tom stood like a spectre of her past at the door. She wished he would just go away. There were many other things he could do than stand there staring at her. He looked ready to move or talk and she couldn't handle it as she sensed he was going to attempt to comfort her. That made her blood boil with old and new anger as she wanted to be alone, she didn't want to do a post mortem on her love life with an ex.

"There's no way." She started, her voice broke slightly, she gave a sniff as her nose wouldn't stop running. It was making up for the tears she was holding in. She quickly wiped at her nose and shook her head, forcing tears back into her eyes and mentally telling herself not to cry and to buck up. "There's no way he could have played me this long." She told Tom.

"Sasha" Tom started, she glared at him which made him blessedly close his mouth.

"Tom," she took a sharp inhale, "He was on our side until we went to rescue that boat. I know it." she lied as she wasn't entirely convinced but she would be in time. She rose from her chair and stared at the board; purposefully turning her back to Tom. He got the message loud and clear as he left the room. Once the door closed, Sasha dropped her face into her hands and let tears fall, she gave herself permission to cry for a few minutes as it was better to cry than vomit. When her time was up, she'd wash her face and get on with the job.

She would grill all of the refugees and find out what the hell went on and learn the truth behind James' defection and betrayal. She knew exactly where to start, the refugees who had been brought on with the 'Captain'. She pushed her chair into the table and went to pick up the photo of the Trawler Captain but found it missing.


	13. Chapter 13

"Captain." Rios said surprised as he looked up from Naz's chart he'd been writing on to see Tom standing at the door way.

"I'm here to speak with Ms Khan. Alone." Tom informed him in a formal tone, he motioned for the crewmen in the room to leave. They packed up the mop and trash in bio-hazard bags leaving the room quickly. The bodies of the fallen sailors were being kept in an empty freezer in the kitchen until Rios released them for funeral services. The room was back to it's normal state but there was a tang of copper and bleach in the air.

"Sir, she's not in any condition to talk." Rios told him, Tom moved in and looked down at Naz. Her right arm was swollen and covered in ice packs; she had a black eye and some bruises like she'd been in a fight.

She wore a bone weary expression while her eyes glazed over like she were staring at nothing in particular. Her wan skin was nearly the same colour of the infirmary wall, her lips were blueish and eyes sunken with dark circles under them. She looked up at him with half hooded eyes, she saw him but didn't acknowledge his presence at all before she looked away.

She looked like a victim, but it was all an act. He knew that the dedication a spy put into the craft was intense, so he wasn't fooled and he had no sympathy as she made her choices. She'd been left behind in their ranks. She had put herself through it all. He didn't know her plans but he'd tear her to shreds if only to spare them all from further losses and putting Sasha through any further pain.

"She's awake, so take five." Tom told Rios curtly as he was not taking 'no' for an answer and no way was he leaving empty handed. He'd get her confession.

"Captain Chandler-" Rios started but Tom cut off as they moved to the end of the bed to square off one another.

"Five of our sailors are dead. She was involved, I intend to talk with-" Tom started, all he could think was that She had been with James and the trawler captain. James' betrayal had crushed Sasha, he couldn't comfort her, he was helpless in that regard but here. He could do something. But Rios was standing in his way.

"Ms Khan is in critical condition. I cannot allow in good conscious to interrogate her in this state." Rios told him firmly, Tom narrowed his eyes not appreciating Rios taking a stance especially someone who was their enemy.

"I appreciate your position. But this is important and time sensitive, which means it can't wait." Tom told him, in a patronising manner to remind Rios of the pecking order on the ship.

"As Chief Medical Officer on this ship, I overrule such matters when it's in the best interest of my patient." Rios reminded him, Tom stepped back and change tactics as he was surprised at Rios not complying to his wishes when in the past with Neils; it hadn't been issue.

"Please, all I need to do is ask one question." Tom implored Rios with his best beaten down look. He gave Rios a softer look of 'I understand and will comply'. "Please, this is important." he added, it worked as Rios gave a nod.

"One question. I'm not leaving the room." Rios said as he relented to Tom's wishes but not giving him everything he wanted. But Tom took it and moved to Naz's side. She laid on the bed, she looked up at him with a wary expression. Tom jacked up the back of bed so she was upright. He pulled the oxygen mask off her face, he needed to see her face.

Anger burned darkly within him. They had lost sailors, she survived- mocking them all with her presence as she pretended to be a victim. It made him sick. He was not going to let this sick charade continue. He was going to get the truth one way or another. Rios would not get in his way, no matter how hard he tried with his misplaced sympathy.

Tom pulled the photo of the trawler captain from his jacket pocket, unfolded it and held it up in her face. "Who is he?" he demanded, she barely glanced at the photo before looking away. She recognised the man as her vitals ratcheted up, her breathing became erratic. He moved it back into her eye line. "You don't have to protect him anymore." he assured her.

"Protect him?" she scoffed, anger flashed through her expression. For the first time Tom had seen a genuine emotion from her. "I wouldn't spit on him if he were on fire." she spat angrily at him, but she was in such a weak state it was hard to tell if she was lying or telling the truth.

"You were seen with him on the ship." Tom told her, he watched her careful for subterfuge. He was not going to fooled by her even if he was bluffing to see her response.

"I didn't see him on the ship. If I had I would've told your crew." she promised him, she was so convincing he almost believed her. But he remembered Allison Shaw and her duplicitous acts that cost him his father and lead to the deaths of many of his comrades. She had been convincing when she pretended to be on his side until it no longer suited her.

"You were with him and you helped him steal the seeds." He told her in a low voice making it clear he wasn't leaving until he got the truth. Naz shook her head.

"You're lying." Naz told him, her voice shaking.

"I'm not and if you come clean now, we'll go easy on you." Tom assured her, lying through his teeth as he'd make sure they threw the book at her.

"Captain, take it easy." Rios warned him, but Tom ignored him.

"Easy on me?" Naz asked Tom, she looked utterly confused him and stressed by his insinuations. Part of him said something was wrong as she wasn't cracking and telling him the truth. But the darker force within him told him to push harder.

"Yes, in your country you're considered a traitor, I'm sure they'd love to get their hands on you. I doubt they'd put you on trial. They'd just convict you and let you hang for your crimes. Treason and crimes against humanity are the unforgivable offences no matter the country you're in." Tom told her in a low voice, telling her something he'd overheard James tell Sasha in the Wardroom. He twisted it for his purposes, it worked as tears filled her eyes and she shook her head as she didn't want to believe it.

"It's not true, we don't have capital punishment. I'm not a criminal." Naz told him in a breathless manner, she pressed a hand to her chest and sagged forward; trying to suck in air. Rios tried to move forward but Tom held out his hand signalling the man not to move before he moved in close to Naz. He leaned in close so there was no chance she could get away from what he was saying.

"You are, according to the laws of your country and you know it to be true. Australians live peacefully with the Immunes. UK office told us when we did the identity check. So you can't go back to Australia. Ever. Whatever the UK promised you? It's gone and after tonight. Well, you're not coming with us-" Tom saw the tears ran down her face as his words sunk in. Rios started trying to intervene from the other side of the bed as Naz was struggling to breathe. But Tom kept pushing. "Unless you talk, maybe we can salvage something. You won't have your freedom but a prison cell in the US has to be a better deal than being dumped at the nearest port for Giorgio or Omar to find you. Cause I promise, I will make sure he find you and he'll flay you alive." Tom promised her.

"No." Naz breathed harshly as hatred and fear filled her features.

"Yes, now tell me what I want to know! Tell me his name. What is your mission? Where Fletcher is taking the seeds? Tell me!" Tom demanded as he shoved the photo in her face.

"I don't know anything." Naz told him between breaths. Her breathing was shorter and sharper. Her skin was almost translucent now and her lips blue. Her eyes began to roll into the back of her head. Her vitals monitor blinked red.

"Captain! that's enough. Back off." Rios shouted at him, but Tom ignored him as he saw Naz was cracking. He was close to the truth with her. He moved to Tom's side and tried to pull him away but Tom shook of his grip. He picked up the photo and shoved it in her face. Tom was about to shake her awake as he was so close.

But before Tom could touch her, Rios hit Tom in the leg with his foot; dead legging the muscle and shoved Tom into the closest wall. Tom dropped to the floor and tried to get up but his injured muscle refused to function. He looked up Rios was not a man of violence. "I said enough." Rios told him in a firm tone.

Tom tried to get up but Rios glared at him, "Sir, I swear to God, if you try to get up. I will put you back on your ass and you won't get up for a week. That's your only warning." Rios promised him darkly, Tom completely taken aback by Rios' demeanour and attack; held up his hands in surrender as he didn't know how to take Rios. He'd never seen the man so visibly angry or insubordinate in all their years of working together.

The vital's monitor screamed at them, Rios rushed to her side and lowered the back of the bed down. Tom watched as Rios rushed around Naz's bed trying to get her condition back under control. He injected her IV line with something and put the oxygen mask onto Naz's face.

"She betrayed us." Tom said once Naz's vitals stabilised and Rios was looking over Naz's pupils with a penlight, she was incredibly still on the bed. But she was alive as her mask fogged up with her breath as she inhaled and exhaled. Rios was vibrating with anger, something that was incredibly rare to witness.

"She has been in a state of delirium for at least 48 hours before we even knew where we were going or doing. You can't fake that or a high fever and I can assure you, she is and was incapable of betraying anyone." Rios shook his head in disgust. "You come in here, you nearly send her into another cardiac arrest. Have we not lost enough people?" Rios shouted at him incredulously as he was clearly fed up with everything and Tom was the straw that broke his back.

"She's not one of us." Tom told him, he couldn't help the words slipping out. Rios shot him an incredulous look.

"I don't care because we're better than this. You're better than this." He told Tom as he pointed at him to emphasise his statement. "You said one question and I stupidly allowed it." Rios said, beating himself up for Tom's actions. He pulled the ice bags off Naz's broken arm and tossed them into the mini freezer to re-freeze. "I get that you walked away as you were on the cusp of a mental breakdown but I thought you'd be smart enough to sort your shit out before you took the oath and put that uniform back on again. Maybe for you it's a tool for some deluded form of vengeance but to me and the rest of the crew; it means something. We're above such pettiness, we adhere to a code of behaviour. You're a Captain for Christ's sake! You're supposed to lead by example. What kind of example is this?" Rios asked rhetorically.

Tom sat there and let the man rake him over the coals. Tom should've put Rios in his place but Rios had snapped and what he was saying... well, Tom felt he deserved it. What Tom needed to hear. Finally someone was acknowledging his struggle and at the same time telling him it was not ok. For it to come from Rios the most understanding and compassionate person on the crew. It was a wake up call. It made him realise the extent of the damage that not only his absence caused but the detriment of his return when he wasn't at 100%. He just couldn't keep on this track, he couldn't bulldoze his way to answers and expect people to treat him with respect.

"Here." Rios tossed him a fresh ice pack, Tom pressed it to the back of his leg. He stifled a groan as feeling was starting to return to his leg. "I get it, that you're not fully back to your old self. But here's a reality check, you'll never be your old self again. None of us are the same. We've seen and been involved in too much to remain unchanged. You like everyone on this ship have to accept that." Rios told him.

"I have." Tom told him, but it was a lie. He hadn't accepted it, but he had made peace with most of what happened in the past.

"You nearly killed her for the name of a dead man. You shoved the photo of a man that most likely made her life hell and you saw how it affected her. Instead of backing off, you pushed her into a cardiac arrest. What would you do if a man came in and did what you just did to one of us? To Ms Cooper?" Rios asked him in annoyance. Tom pursed his lips as Sasha was part of his motivation. He'd wanted answers for her but mostly it was about him getting answers for himself and confirm his gut feeling Naz was the enemy.

"I would've flatten him no matter who was on the bed." Tom admitted feeling like a fool as Rios really had him over a barrel. He wanted to throttle James for hurting Sasha more than any of reason he had on his list. He hated seeing her so brokenhearted over that asshole Fletcher.

"I'm not apologising for doing my job. So this is your one get out of jail free card. I'm not going to inform the CO as I need to believe this was some kind of aberration. That you're still getting used to being back in uniform but I won't allow you such liberties again. You need to take a long hard look at yourself as this" he gestured to Naz " are not the actions of the Captain who led this crew and ship through hell and back during the Pandemic. The Captain, we would follow faithfully through the worst of times. We don't need a loose cannon. We need the battle scarred but cleared headed, focused leader who was there for us through thick and thin. The very one who gave us hope even when the odds were against us. So until you find you that guy; get out of here and I don't want to see you down here unless it's emergency." Rios informed him.

Tom got to feet and shook out his leg. He felt like making a quip about ignoring Rios' insubordination but decided against it as it was his fault. The man was doing him a favour.

* * *

Mike winced as his side was looking like a gnarly mess. The stitches were in place which was a blessing but he had pulled them and bleeding a little. The bruise had spread out and discoloured in a sickening fashion. He wasn't concerned beyond the annoyance of the pain the injury gave him as he redressed the wound and pulled on a fresh t-shirt. He should probably check in with Rios, let the man berate him but he wasn't ready for that yet.

He had left the wardroom and checked in with the bridge and dropped in the security feed room before ending up at his quarters. After their night, he needed a quick shower and fresh clothes. He also needed three minutes to himself. It wasn't enough, but it would have to do as he pulled on the rest of his uniform before a knock sounded at the door.

"Come in." He said as he stuck his head out and saw Tom step in.

"Have a minute?" Tom asked.

"Yeah, about five until someone knocks on my door. What's up?" Mike asked as he gestured for his friend to take a seat. Tom closed the door and sat down on the couch. Mike pulled up his office chair and sat down with an appreciative sigh as it felt good to sit down without needing to be at full attention of the situation.

"I went and saw Naz." Tom told him. Mike frowned as he couldn't see the value in talking to Naz given Rios said she was not in any state to talk.

"Doc said she was out of commission." Mike said, he had seen her before the last meeting she'd been sleeping.

"She was awake. I got rough with her, not physically but I pushed her to answer questions and it sent her into cardiac arrest." Tom confessed.

"Dammit Tom!" Mike snapped in anger. but he kept his seat as Tom looked contrite. It was the only thing saving him from Mike throttling him. "What were you thinking?" Mike asked him as calmly as he could. Naz was under his protection and now his best friend had nearly killed her.

"I know, maybe I came back too soon." Tom said, Mike glowered at him as he could tell Tom was looking for an out. He was looking for Mike to agree and recommend he be stripped of his commission or something equally stupid but Mike wasn't going to let him off the hook so easy.

"No, you didn't take time off to grieve. You just went for the next mission and bit off more than you could chew. Now we're suffering for it. Is she dead?" Mike asked exasperated as the situation was completely avoidable. He could only imagine what Tom said to send Naz into cardiac arrest. He wanted to go see her but Tom needed him, Rios would care for her until he made time.

"No, Rios intervened. He gave me quite the dress down. He was right to do so. I've not been hearing any of you." Tom said as he felt the recklessness of his actions. "I'm so sorry, I came back and put on the uniform; thinking it would make everything better. It felt like I was coming home but I'm making all the same mistakes that made me leave." he said.

"Then stop making the same stupid decisions and acting on them." Mike told him as if it were that easy but when it came to Tom it was. The man really had to learn to take a beat when he was angry and think through his actions before he acted on them.

"I am so sure she's part of their scheme, Mike." Tom said, he saw Mike sit back and look fed up with him and the theories of Naz being a threat "I know you don't believe me but I just have a gut feeling that she-"

"Maybe you need a tablespoon of castor oil. Clean out that gut feeling." Mike told him, a knock sounded at the door. "Come in." he said, the door opened and a crewman came in with a tablet computer.

"Captain, the footage you requested." the crewman said.

"Thank you, you're dismissed." He told him, the Crewman took his leave and when the door was closed. Mike placed the computer on the table. "I asked security to copy all of the footage during the storm of Fletcher, the Trawler Captain and Naz's whereabouts as I figured it would save us all some time of trying to figure it all out." Mike said, he swiped at the screen and turned it face Tom. He hit the play button on the screen.

"I take it you've watched this?" Tom asked as he watched the footage.

"Yeah, there are patchy spots when power went down but it's pretty clear. She rolled out bed happy as a clam and I think she got dressed and went to work at some point when she was a cop. I like the part where you can tell she's put on her Kevlar vest, checks her radio and holsters a gun that isn't there." Mike drawled as the showed Naz acting out like she was putting on clothing that weren't there and then kissing a person who wasn't there and taking a imaginary cup of coffee.

Tom took the tablet from Mike into his own hands and watched as it was clear that Naz was off in her own world. She passed James at one point but they didn't exchange words. If anything, it looked like James was tried to get her to notice him but she walked past him. He fast forwarded as it appeared she wandered all over the ship for a long while, somehow managing to skip and frolic through P-ways without falling over knee knockers or running into another soul.

There were moments she fell to the floor clutching a hand to her chest but she'd take a moment and then pushed on. There was no rhyme or reason to her direction, Tom's stomach sank as he could see he was wrong. If she had been with James and the trawler captain; she would've cut a direct path and at least tried to find a decent change of clothes. A pair of boots or something but she didn't.

In the video, she eventually ran into the Trawler Captain. She held up her hands like she was holding a gun. She spoke to the man, he seemed to find it amusing as he laughed at her and then ran. She gave chase and tackled him in the mess hall. She fought with him, then the trawler captain got the upper hand as Burk, Danny and Miller interrupted.

Tom stopped the as he really couldn't argue with the also knew how it ended. Rios was right, Naz was not in any state to know what was going on. No sane person would pretend to hold an imaginary weapon at a man. Nor would she tackle her partner to the ground delaying their exit.

"Maybe I should try castor oil." Tom quipped wryly as he placed the tablet on the table.

"She wasn't there when the Trawler Captain was brought into the Infirmary and killed Heggen and the others. She didn't kill or harm anyone in her travels. She just ran around the ship for a few hours in her own world. But something about him must have twigged her into action. She tried to stop him. Now, I get there are holes Tom, but if we stop taking people at face value. How can we function?" Mike asked Tom.

"I don't know." Tom said scrubbing his face with his hands. He felt like a right fool and asshole.

"Fletch's betrayal burns but at the end of the day, he had orders. He followed them. I can't hate him for that. But I do hate him for the damage he's caused and the loss of life. He could've come to us. We could have halved the seeds, put a tracker in the canister and send him off to Vellek. Send the rest off to the US, saving our people but it's done. We can't change it." Mike told him.

"Naz didn't give me a name but she did tell me the Trawler Captain's name but she knows him." Tom thought of the anger she had shown, now seeing it as truth instead of fiction. "I think she would've told us if she had seen him. She hated the guy." Tom admitted as he was rethinking everything and taking his bias out of the equation. It wasn't easy.

"Only way she could know him is if he was a coalition soldier or an immune. I'd say at this point that he's MI6 as he had to be a familiar face to Fletcher. I already assumed as much." Mike said, his gut twisted at Naz being in pain and traumatised by seeing a man she was most likely a victim of given no one went into cardiac arrest over seeing a friend. Worse being told she was in collusion with him. It was a mess.

"But why didn't she identify him before now?" Tom asked as that part made him uneasy as he couldn't make sense. "She had to see him when she was processing the refugees." he added.

"Naz was attacked by a refugee. He tried to blind her, and Naz was removed and not allowed any further interactions with the refugees on your suggestion to Joe. She never got a chance to identify him." Mike said plainly, he gave a shrug and shook his head as there were so many turning points of 'what if' moments that could've changed what had happened.

"Ok," Tom said accepting it. He didn't know what to do or think in that moment. Mike seemed to sense his inner turmoil.

"Sasha and Joe are down in the Helo bay grilling the refugees for information about the Trawler Captain right now. We'll be making port within the hour. So hopefully we'll get something more out of them but at this point it doesn't help or change anything." Mike said, he made a face as he felt for the refugees. Sasha was an angry woman on a mission. She wouldn't take prisoners to get the answer she wanted but at least she had more restraint than Tom.

"I am sorry." Tom apologised, it didn't feel enough as he covered a lot of sins he committed but he didn't know what else to say. Mike gave a tired sigh.

"Everyone keeps apologising to me. I wish you'd all stop and make better choices." Mike told him, Tom gave a sardonic smile.

"I will do my best." Tom told him wryly.

"Appreciate it." Mike said, he rubbed the back of his neck. "We need to be a united front, Tom. If we're not, then it will all go to hell. The crew can't take it and I can't either. We can do this without you if you have to walk." Mike said in a pragmatic manner.

"No, I'm good. I'm with you." Tom promised him.

* * *

A couple hours later,

"Flight ops complete, Helo's back in the hangar. They didn't find anything out there. No sign of Fletcher." Meylan said after he hung up the phone and joined the others as they stood around the table in the wardroom. The refugees had disembarked and they managed to refuel the ship and restock on what little ammo and food was left before setting off again.

"Those seeds are long gone." Mike said as he refreshed his coffee, he looked at the space between Tom and Sasha not surprised. Tom surprising looked contrite as he clearly understood why he was in the dog house. Sasha looked ready gut punch Tom, Mike was tempted to tell her to get it out of system but knowing how angry she was. He was pretty sure she'd put Tom out of commission for a week. Not that Mike didn't feel Tom deserved it but they would probably need him.

"We went at the refugees again, hard. They're sticking to their story. The so-called "Captain" boarded their trawler late, replacing the smuggler they all paid to sneak them into Europe." Sasha said as she pursed her lips trying to contain her anger and pain but failing as she couldn't keep her tone even and calm or wipe the dark bitter expression from her face.

"Fletcher and the boat captain were seen talking in helo bay on multiple occasions." Meylan added.

"Oh, God." Sasha breathed as it just didn't end. She had seen them talking herself, she had stupidly not picked up something like that as suspicious. The ache in her heart to her pride that was in tatters. She was officially the biggest fool that ever existed. Just when she thought the damage to her person was finished, she was hit with another blow, each more crippling than the last.

"Any thoughts where we should start looking for those seeds?" Mike asked Tom as he was the one in the room who knew the most about Vellek besides Naz. But thanks to Tom's stunt; she wasn't in any condition to talk.

"Giorgio has a yacht. Fast one. If he was waiting for Fletcher beyond Asteris Island, they could be headed back to his place." Tom offered.

"The house that was communicating with the lab?" Sasha asked as she remembered reading it in Tom's report. Meylan gave a sardonic chuckle, Mike turned to him.

"Am I missing something?" Mike asked Meylan.

"Just the way fate works." Meylan replied humorlessly, he pushed off the chair he'd been leaning on and turned to them. He looked directly at Tom. "When you first came aboard, you proposed using Giorgio's house to find Vellek's lab. I thought it was a crazy plan. And now, I think it's our only hope." Meylan said.

"Well, it's better than nothing and we can make it work." Sasha commented, she shared a look with Mike and Meylan.

"What?" Tom asked her, feeling a little burned at the snub of being excluded from the shared look.

"Naz knows all of Giorgio's properties and there's only one place within a yacht ride of the fishing village you were living at. We just need to confirm the property is the same one you stayed at. Get blue prints from Garnett and we have mission." Sasha told them, looking pleased at the idea of getting into trouble. She looked to Mike.

"Go." he ordered, Sasha rushed out of the room to chase down the intel.

"How could Garnett get the blue prints?" Tom asked with a frown once Sasha was gone. He felt a little obsolete and sore about it as he could have easily directed them to Giorgio's place and drawn a layout of the property but Sasha cut him out completely.

"Naz has a cloud account with AFP where she kept back up copies of her closed and open ongoing investigations before the pandemic. The server farm for it are located in Australia and still active. She gave us the pass code, they still worked. We had Garnett access it and download the files we thought we may need. We used it to corroborate the information Naz shared with us when she first came aboard." Mike explained, Tom frowned as no one had told him that. Not that it would've convinced him of her innocence.

"You best go down to CIC, Sasha will need you to confirm the location." Meylan told Tom, he looked to Mike and said, "I'll be in engineering and meet you in half an hour."

"Ok," Mike said, Meylan left the room. He looked to Tom. "I wouldn't tell Sasha about Naz until this thing with Fletcher has blown over. You won't be doing any of us any favours by blowing her top." he advised.

"Sasha can handle herself." Tom said.

"I want to throttle for what you did but to do so would pull my stitches and get me put on medical leave. Sasha doesn't have that issue and she's already attached to Naz." Mike said with a wry smile. Tom nodded as Mike was right. He wasn't doing anyone any favours.


	14. Chapter 14

Mike knocked on the open door of the infirmary. Rios looked up from his work at the desk and saw Mike; he wore a mixed expression which Mike expected. The man was probably worried he'd pull a stunt like Tom ad was at his limit. He was still in his khaki service uniform from the service for the fallen soldiers.

Mike had been at the service but had stood in the background not wanting to make his presence known as Command had a way of affecting how the crew reacted and processed their grief when it came to informal ceremonies. They of course would take the bodies home to have a proper burial and funeral services as they had the freezer space thanks to the famine.

"Hey Doc, how are you?" he asked Rios.

"Not great Sir, but managing." Rios said being honest, Mike appreciated it as he didn't have to worry about Rios being a ticking time bomb unlike some of his crew.

"We all are, if that helps at all." Mike offered with empathy as they all felt the loss of their comrades deeply. For Mike, he felt it differently as they were under his command. His responsibility and he had failed them. Rios gave a closed lip smile.

"Not really, I assume you're here to talk to Ms Khan." He said as he closed the file he was working on it, and turned to give Mike his full attention.

"Yeah, how is she?" Mike asked, he didn't step into the room as he wanted Rios' permission. After Tom, he wanted Rios to understand that the infirmary was his space and Mike respected his position. Even if it did kill him to stand at the door when he wanted to see Naz. She had been moved from the main bed into the room offside from the infirmary. It was a good sign.

"She's awake but weak. The Nostos in completely out of her system. I think the adrenaline and trauma of the cardiac arrests and broken arm burned what was left out of her system." Rios offered as supposition as he truthfully didn't know enough about Nostos to know what would happen.

"How do you know?" Mike asked out of curiosity.

"You'll know," Rios told him, Mike gave him a look to explain. "She's angry and very emotional. I still don't know all the effects of Nostos, but I have notice among the refugees that there are behavioural impairments from the drug. They are less violent, they show emotional disassociation. I don't know if it's how the drug interacts with the brain and how they process stimuli or social cues..." he looked a little sheepish as he realised he had lost Mike. "They don't feel emotions as a 'normal' person would." he said oversimplifying it for him.

"Yeah, been there." Mike reminded him, "You going to block me?" he asked him in a casual manner. He'd accept Rios decision if the man told him to go.

"Only if you're here to interrogate her." Rios said.

"I'm not. You have my word." Mike promised, Rios gave a nod and gestured for him to come in.

"Ok, but make it a quick visit as she really needs to rest." Rios told him.

"Would it be too much for a few minutes alone?" Mike asked him.

"Sir, I really-" Rios stopped and thought about it. He looked at Mike and gave a nod, "Yes, Sir." he said, but his tone and demeanour spoke volumes. He was giving Mike a chance, and hoping that he wasn't disappointed. Mike watched him go and then turned to the room.

He stepped into the room where she laid curled up on the bed. Her right arm was in a cast that rested on her side while her other arm was tucked under the pillow. She looked up and saw him before she turned her face back to the wall.

"Hey." He said, he sat on the bed by her curled legs.

"Is is true?" she asked not looking at him. His heart broke for her as she sounded so despondent and lost. He knew it wasn't personal; she was wrapped up in her own problems or the ones Tom had created.

"Which parts?" he asked as he had no clue what Tom had told her.

"That I can't go home because I'm considered a Foreign fighter and are subject to criminal charges if I return home." Naz told him.

"Yeah, we were waiting until you finished detoxing from the Nostos. Tom is-"

"An asshole." Naz finished dryly, Mike huffed a laugh as he wouldn't disagree.

"In fairness we all have our moments. Don't hold it against him, he gets real touchy when people hurt Sasha's feelings." he said, Naz nodded as she didn't argue it further and he had a good feeling that she took whatever Tom said on the nose. She knew how the game was played when it came to interrogations especially when it was personal. It still didn't stop the pain but she like Mike knew there was no point in having ill will towards Tom.

"How much time do I have until you kick me off the ship?" she asked him.

"I'm not kicking you off the ship." Mike told her, he hated that she ever had the thought in her head. She looked at the wall, tears slipped down her face. He just wanted to hold her and soothe the pain in her. He didn't know where the motivation came from but he ignored it. Not because of the impropriety but because Naz wasn't in the head space to be held or comforted.

"My asylum status has been revoked as I wasn't able to tell Tom anything. I can't go anywhere." Naz said as the realisation hit her. She closed her eyes and more tears slid down her face. She just looked so twisted with grief and sadness and Mike watched the menagerie of emotions that went hand in hand with grief played through her expression, it had to be overwhelming for her to feel her emotions after a year of numbing herself with Nostos. He had felt his emotions twofold when the Nostos wore off. Sometimes he still did, but he was in better control of himself.

"Tom was lying about the Asylum status. He doesn't have the power to revoke it. I know you can't get exactly what you want. You can't get back to Australia but you could make a permanent home in America. If you wanted to and I can help you with that. I want to help you." he told her, he ached to reach out and touch her but there was a sense of fragility coming off her that told him that if he touched her; she might shatter.

"What are you going do? Adopt me?" she asked drily. Mike looked out into the main room to make sure they were alone before he leaned over just slightly as he was about to share a secret.

"Marry you, actually." he said casually.

"What?" she sputtered as she turned and looked at him incredulously, he gave a boyish smile. He couldn't help it given his unorthodox plan. It crazy, not like him at all but he liked it. He liked that he would be helping Naz as he didn't want to carry her on his conscious. Frankly, she was an easy save unlike others.

"Marry me, then you can apply for permanent residency in the US as my spouse and then become a citizen through naturalisation." Mike said laying it all out for her. She pushed herself up and winced as she held her broken arm that was encased in a plaster cast. She reached out her good hand and Mike watched in amusement as she poked him in the bicep.

"You're here." she stated as she wasn't sure what to make of it.

"I am." he told her, she grabbed his wrist and checked his pulse. Her fingers were so cold against his skin. They locked eyes, she analysed him; he couldn't help but be weirdly amused by it all even though for her she was trying to assess whether she was sober or not.

"Really, here and talking crazy." Naz murmured as she took her hand off his person and moved it to cradle her arm that was in a cast.

"It's a little crazy but it solves many of your problems." Mike assured her.

"What are you getting out of it?" Naz asked him suspiciously.

"Nothing untoward, just a house sitter when I'm deployed. A friendly face to come home to, I'm a simple man." he told her with a shrug, just the idea of coming home to someone and not an empty BOQ sounded amazing. There was a fact the house had been locked up for years, knowing he'd reopen it with someone at his side was hell of a lot better than doing it alone.

"You could lose everything." Naz said pointing out the obvious fallout of if they were caught.

"I already have. At this point I'm gaining a friend who saved my life. Now, I want to repay that by vouching for you, and giving you a place to stay and time until you sort out what you want. The US is fully aware of your past, Immigration won't care as overpopulation is not an issue. We will get the seeds and the famine will break. Hell, no one will question our marriage as we already have the perfect love story." he told her.

"Really?" she asked him sceptically, she shifted until she was leaning against the wall. She closed her eyes for a moment and worried that maybe she needed to lay down but decided to let her make that decision for herself.

"You saved my life, nursed me back to health and witnessed my crew's success in finding the seeds that saved the world." He said with a closed lip smile as it sounded pretty good in his head. Naz huffed a laugh.

"While the real story is that I saved your life, drugged you and then attached myself like a leech to you to get off an island for Asylum to America." She said in amusement before she grew serious,"What if there are no seeds?" she asked him, Mike tried not to think of that outcome as it was unacceptable.

"We won't go back until we have the seeds. It's not an option to go home empty handed." he told her, she nodded weakly in understanding.

"Ah, so until then I am here with you all?" she asked, Mike nodded, "Good, it give us time to get to know one another and drop breadcrumbs. Or for you to come to your senses and back out." she said, a small smile playing on her lips for the first time since he arrived. It felt good to see her smile when she had so little to smile for.

"Not a chance. It's my plan, I always follow through on my word." Mike told her as he knew their fake relationship could cost him his career, and reputation with Jail time. But he looked at the positives of giving her a new lease on life which well worth the risk after everything she had given up for him without even knowing him. He knew he was giving her a second chance at life but at the same time he felt like he was getting one too.

"How are we going to fake the physical side of things in your master plan?" She asked him. Mike pursed his lips as he wanted to laugh at the ludicrous nature of the conversation. It sounded like they were negotiating a business deal. He refrained from laughing as he didn't want to offend her in thinking he found her unattractive. She didn't need an ego hit after everything else she had been through.

"We don't have to have sex to prove we're in a legitimate relationship." he assured her, she gave a nod taking in his words, he wanted her to be comfortable and for his sake as he was not a sleaze who needed to use blackmail or coercion to bed a woman. "We got a time to sort everything out and get used to one another's space. The main thing is that we make it look real with emotional intimacy and friendship in front of the crew or whoever needs to be convinced. It'll be easy to drop enough bread crumbs for them to put two and two together." he told her.

"Like being seen together publicly?" She asked clearly needing specifics.

"Yes, for the sake of my friends we have sell it. If on the off chance we're caught, I want them to have plausible deniability." Mike said, he didn't know why but he didn't think they'd have a problem.

"Are you really sure about this?" Naz asked him, he gave a nod as he had given it a lot of thought. He knew in his bones it was the right thing to do.

"Yeah, I am. This will work and once you're naturalised, you'll have a passport again. One that will allow you travel wherever you want to." he told her.

"Besides Australia." Naz stated, she took a shaky breath as she was clearly still coming to terms with the fact she couldn't go home. Mike vowed in that moment, that he'd give her a new home. Even if she didn't stay, she'd always know she could come back to him.

"Yeah, I am sorry about that." Mike told her sincerely.

"Me too." She replied with a huff, she quickly swiped at her eyes before the tears fell. They lapsed into a companionable silence for a long moment before she spoke. "Ok, let's do it." she told him in resigned acceptance.

"You don't want to think about it a bit more?" he asked her, he wasn't worried or backing out. He just wanted her to be sure and in hindsight, he should've waited a little longer after a near death to ask. But he knew she could easily back out if she wanted to.

"No, I'm good. We should write up a prenup as I want to protect you. I wouldn't want you and your friends to think I'm only marrying you for your assets." Naz told him drily, Mike snorted a laugh as he like most military in the current climate had minimum access to saving and a mountain of back pay owed to them. The property market meant his house was currently worthless.

"I'm not worried, but if it makes you more comfortable then we'll do it." He told her.

"It would." She replied, Mike looked out to the door as he heard footfalls. Rios stepped into the main infirmary with a cup of coffee. Mike turned to Naz and placed a hand on her knee.

"I should go, I have to get back to work. But I'll come by later," he told her, he wasn't sure if later meant that afternoon or tomorrow but he'd visit.

"I'd like that." She replied.

"How do you feel about Scrabble?" He asked her, she gave him a quizzical look unsure of what he was asking.

"Indifferent?" She offered as she was unsure what the right answer was.

"Get some rest." Mike told her as he took her answer to be a 'yes' to scrabble. He rose from the bed and moved into the main infirmary, "Thanks Doc." he said as he passed Rios and headed for CIC.

* * *

"What have I missed?" Mike asked as he came into CIC to find Sasha, Danny and Tom standing around a station in CIC. On the table were blueprints and an aerial shot of a lavish property.

"Location has been confirmed, just ironing out the wrinkles." Sasha told him, Mike looked to Tom.

"Have we changed course?" he asked.

"Not yet, as it's your call." Tom told him, Mike appreciated being included but on the other hand didn't like how redundant it felt for them to wait when Tom could've easily changed course.

"Bridge, this is the Captain. Set a course heading 0-6-5, all ahead flank." Mike hung up the phone and moved back to the table. "So let's hear it." he told them.

"We're looking at a straightforward smash and grab. Target and secure map room located in the northeast wing of Giorgio's mansion, It's outside the main staircase. here." Danny said pointing at the blue prints of the property on the table.

"Nathan James will cruise in a basket 30 miles off-shore while Vulture Team helos up the coast, fast exits 4 clicks from Giorgio's place." Tom added as he pointed to the maps, Mike nodded as it all sounded good. He just wanted to know where the wrinkle was.

"What kind of resistance are you expecting?" Mike asked him.

"We'll engage security elements. But nothing we can't handle. Once we're inside, Vulture Team demo-breaches the map room door, which is steel-reinforced. So we're going to be loud and he's going to know we're there." Tom said.

"We'll grab anything and everything, paper or electronic. We'll uplink what we can't carry or copy onto a drive; to the ship." Sasha said.

"If we're lucky, something inside that room will tell us where to find Vellek and his lab." Tom said, he slid a glance at Sasha who wore a calm exterior but he like Mike could see she was simmering with anger and god knows what else. Not a great attitude while out on mission but Mike knew Sasha could keep it professional as she had when Tom left. She could do it now again.

"Ok, let's make it happen." Mike told them.

* * *

Some time later, Sasha was in the helo bay with Vulture team. They were gearing up for the mission, Sasha focused on double checking she had enough ammo in her vest and checking her weapon making sure it was serviceable.

Danny at the end of the table laid out the details for the others. She barely paid attention to them as she knew what was going to happen. She just hoped Fletcher was at Giorgio's so she could deck the man and drag his ass back to the Nathan James. She'd get her answers and salvage some of her pride.

Not that anyone questioned her, if anything they were all supportive by saying nothing. It was better than them telling her how blindsided they felt by his betrayal as they had no clue how it felt. She had slept with the man and entrusted her heart to him. He was the burned her-

"Captain on deck." Danny announced, Sasha kept her head down as she was pulled out of spiralling thoughts only to feel herself fume at Tom. She knew he pitied her, she could tell by how he looked at her. She just wanted to shout at him that he had some nerve to try and talk to her about this.

"Sasha-" Tom started but she cut him off.

"I don't need a speech." she told him in a curt manner as she didn't need his pep talk or for him to assuage her pain or anger. He wouldn't even begin to understand how hypocritical it was for him to lecture on her on men and how to do her job.

"I'm not making one." he told her, she gave him a look of disbelief. "Ok, a tiny speech." he admitted, with a slight smile but he dropped it when he realised it was only making her angrier. He'd had the best intentions as he had hoped she would smile but she kept checking her hand gun for imperfections. "Look, you don't know what happened with Fletcher. But you know who you are. I just wanna make sure you don't doubt yourself out there." he told her, Sasha gave him an empty look as she holstered her weapon.

"Never do." she assured him, "Only thing Fletcher taught me is that I have terrible taste in men." she said, she pulled her backpack over her shoulder and headed out to the flight deck. She hoped her barb hurt Tom as it was the truth and would get him to back off even if it was for a short while.

* * *

"Vulture team are in play, Sir." Kara told Mike a he returned to CIC from the being on the bridge and talking with Meylan. Mike picked up a headset and put them on as he stood by her side. On one of the large screens was a blown up map of Atokos Island with the trackers of Vulture team flashing. They were making good progress to the ship, while the Helo moved away.

"How are we on radar? any sign of the Greeks?" Mike asked, he didn't want any surprises. Hell, he just needed this mission to go successfully; so they could claim back some of the ground they had lost thanks to Fletcher.

"No Sir." Kara replied as her eyes and attention was on the screens before them. He admired her strength to take on role as TAO when her husband was on the teams. It took guts to make the hard calls when someone you loved's life was on the line.

"Let's count our small blessing and hope this works out." Mike told her.

"Yes, Sir." Kara replied.

* * *

An hour later,

Naz opened her eyes, tears fell down her face. She had woken from a dead sleep to find herself still in the infirmary. It was a blessing even if the overwhelming emotions were too much for her. She had been so removed from her emotions she had been numb for so long.

Now, they were too vibrant, too close to the surface. She couldn't tell what she felt as she was angry, she wanted laughed in joy even though she didn't know why. She cried, so much that she was pretty sure the IV was connected directly to her tear ducts. She couldn't control it, she wasn't even sure she was crying for anymore.

She had first cried for herself, she had cried as Elias was gone. Truly gone as she knew the Nostos was gone from her system. She couldn't go backwards and she didn't have access to more. She knew the Nostos was gone from her system as she felt everything with a sharp clarity. It was over. Now she had to salvage what she could from the wreckage of her life.

She thought of Mike, his offer. Her insanity in agreeing to it, but she was desperate for a home. To belong somewhere; to someone. They might only become friends, but it would be enough for her as she needed something to hang on to. He was her lifeline at the moment. Fresh tears filled her eyes and she sighed as she hated the dark feeling inside her that reminded her that her life was like a house a cards. It only needed one person to touch a card for it all to tumble down.

"Hey," Rios said from the doorway. He looked concerned she shook her head and wiped at her face with a sardonic chuckle.

"Sorry, can't seem to stop. So ignore the tears. I'm ok." She said as she pushed up in bed, or tried. Her body was so wrecked from her injuries and Tom's visit. Rios came to her side and helped her sit up, and propped the pillows behind her back.

"Are you in any pain?" He asked.

"IV is bugging me, but I'll survive as I need the fluids." She said wryly, she was not going to get into her mental crisis with him until she had a better grip on herself. Rios gave a nod as he disappeared and came back with a tray and placed it on the stool by her bunk.

"I brought you something to drink. It's warm, so you won't burn yourself." He said as he picked up the cup and helped place it into her hand.

"Is this bone broth?" She asked looking at the liquid, the smell wasn't all that appetising but her stomach gurgled in need of something to munch on.

"Yes, you need something more than IV fluids. There will be pumpkin soup for dinner but after your lunch there is apple and pear puree for dessert." He told her, she smiled as Rios was a very kind man.

"You know how to spoil a girl, Doc." She told him, he pulled up another stool and sat down presumably to watch her and make sure she didn't make a mess of herself.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her.

"Too much. Thank you for stepping in with Captain Chandler before." She said as she took a sip of the broth. She swallowed it down, not bothering to think on the taste as she was used to worse.

"It's my job. I'm sorry that I let it happen to begin with." He told her, she looked down as she only vaguely remembered the conversation but she remembered enough to pang with guilt and heart ache. She placed the cup in her lap and took a moment to collect her thoughts. She looked back at Rios, he looked like he carrying the grief of ten people but he carried it with grace.

"I still appreciate you putting yourself on the line for me." She told him, she didn't know why it was important for Tom to know and if she just said the name, then they could drop the subject. "His name was Captain Harry Sinclair." A shiver of disgust ran down her back, "He's- He was British Military, he was one of soldiers that trained me. I was one of eight women under his command. He liked to brag that he was top dog as he was tapped for special ops missions. His idea of training was to break people down..." She drawled sarcastically, she hated how her voice quavered but she didn't like to think of the war or her time as a coalition soldier. She preferred just pack it up in a box and forget it entirely.

"You don't have to tell me." Rios told her in a gentle manner as he clearly misunderstood what she was implying. She gave a sardonic laugh and shook her head as she wasn't planning to tell him much at all. She didn't need or want sympathy or understanding. She wanted a fresh start, to put her past behind her and salvage what she could.

"I made certain I wasn't his type." Naz assured him, Sinclair had tried to come at her but she'd been prepared. She may have had bite, but she found knife to the leg near the groin sent a clear message to any man that she was not interested in any nocturnal business. "And as Captain Chandler said five people died, I don't even know why or what happened but he thinks it's important." Naz told him as she felt lost as to what was going on. The last thing she remembered was being in the mess and the rest was a blank. Then she woke up in the infirmary, racked with pain. She could barely move without pain lacing through her, Rios told her she'd had a heart attack and had to been in a fight she had no memory but her arm was broken.

"He killed four of the men, one of them was Heggen." Rios said, Naz shook her head and pressed a hand to her mouth as she felt deeply for Rios and the ship crew.

"What happened?" she asked, Rios took a deep breath and then told her everything he knew starting with the storm.

* * *

Sasha looked at the floor, taking in the plush carpet she and Tom had ruined with their boots, before she grew impatient and moved closer to the curtain. She peeked out the small sliver of the material she had created, and watched the party goers outside.

The mission had been smooth thus far with barely any resistance on their way in. Just a couple perimeter guards they had taken out but that was it. But when they reached the house, things got complicated thanks Giorgio entertaining over fifty guests with a pool party.

The party was a real pain in ass, as the loud techno music was loud enough to cover any noise they made coming in. But it annoyingly meant they couldn't hear when someone was sneaking up on them. If that wasn't bad enough, the place was filled with civilians, it just wrinkle upon wrinkle that they had to adjust for. Thus here Sasha and Tom were in Giorgio's bedroom waiting for Azima to honey trap the man in her underwear.

An easy task as the woman was gorgeous and had confidence in spades. Sasha saw them coming towards the bedroom and slipped back into her hiding place. A few seconds later, the door swung open and Azima walked into the room with the grace of leopard with Giorgio right behind her. He closed the door behind them, making Sasha and Tom's job that much easier.

"I've not seen such nice things since before the virus." Azima told Giorgio as she moved to the bed, she tossed the towel she had draped around herself onto the bed and looked at Giorgio. The man was ensnared by Azima's beauty as he moved in close to her.

"This is nothing compared to what I'm gonna have." he told her, he pulled off his jacket and Sasha slowly and quietly moved from her hiding spot with her sidearm raised and ready. Giorgio just kept talking unaware of her. "My family are visionaries, doing remarkable things. World-changing things." he told Azima while she unbuttoned his shirt. "You ever do it on 2,000-count Egyptian cotton?" Giorgio asked Azima, Sasha pressed the gun against the back of his head.

"That your best line, lover boy?" Sasha asked him sarcastically, she held out Azima's gear to her. The woman took the gear and blew a kiss at Giorgio as she walked over to the corner to get changed. Tom came out ensuite taking Azima's place minus the honey-trap routine.

"This couldn't have waited till I was done?" Giorgio asked before he huffed in annoyance.

"We didn't have 30 seconds." Tom deadpanned as he ripped the necklace off the man's neck. He turned to Azima and found the woman geared up and ready to go.

"Nathan James, this is Vulture Team. We have Giorgio Vellek in custody." Tom said on his comms, he motioned for them to move.

 _"Copy that, Vulture Team. Can't wait to see him."_  Mike replied.


	15. Chapter 15

"I swear I never saw him on the ship." Naz said, she racked her brain trying to remember but everything was just a blur of reality and Nostos fuelled hallucinations. The only things that stuck out was her time talking with Mike and Sasha. The smallest moments when she had felt fairly grounded in the present.

"Don't beat yourself up. We were played and he clearly knew you'd identify him and removed you from the equation. The refugee who attacked you was supposed to kill you. Sasha went hard at him and he cracked. Told her that Sinclair gave him Nostos and the orders. He just couldn't go through with it." Rios said.

"God, she must be devastated." Naz said as she thought of Sasha and what she was going through. Being betrayed by a man she had trusted enough to be in a physical relationship with. She didn't know if Sasha loved James, but she knew it had to take a lot for Sasha to trust someone, she had to care very deeply for James to let him get so close to her.

"That's not the word I'd use, more like angry but we all are." Rios told her, she looked down at her empty cup and tried find anger about the past events but all she had was resignation and emotional numbness. She'd been angry at Tom when he accused of her colluding with Sinclair. It made her sick to her stomach to be associated with him. But the anger had no staying power, she felt too weak to hold onto any emotions at the moment.

"Hmm, I am not surprised the U.K. screwed you guys over for the seeds. I am surprised that you didn't negotiate for half the seeds to go to the U.K. in the first place like a good faith exchange." Naz said conversationally as she placed the empty cup on the tray.

"Their labs aren't serviceable and they have no one to work them." Rios explained.

"It's about what's right by your allies which is laughable the way they treated conscripted soldiers after the war. We were promised so much," she took a breath and exhaled letting go of the topic as she couldn't afford to spiral into a deep depression, "Anyway, there's no point in going there given it's not entirely their fault many people were left stranded and resources were drained. I just wish I had seen Sinclair, if I had then maybe things would've ended very differently." she said, she would have told someone and let them deal with him.

"It's not your fault. Fletcher had ample time to inform us as to what was going on. He made the wrong choice and now we have to clean up the mess." Rios told her.

* * *

Tom passed the necklace charm over the sensor for the locked office. Sasha kicked in the door as she took point, Azima followed pushing Giorgio into the room. Tom nodded to the men who stayed to keep a lookout before he slipped into the room and closed the door.

"Ah! Wow. You like it rough, huh?" Giorgio asked Azima in a hedonistic manner as if he were getting pleasure from being dragged around. They moved into the study and it was just how Tom remembered it. The music from outside filtered through the open windows as the party progressed completely unaware to the presence of Vulture team.

"Clear." Sasha announced, Azima shoved Giorgio into chair opposite the desk, The man chuckled and wore smile as he watched Sasha and Azima start to tear through the contents of the study. Tom stood sentry as he loomed over Giorgio, the man was not intimated by Tom at all as he straightened his suit jacket. He looked a mix of smug and highly amused as if he didn't care at all about them being here.

"Your father where is he?" Tom asked him, he scanned the room with his eyes casually taking in the decor and stopping at the wall of TVs that showed security feeds for the house.

"And I'm just supposed to tell you?" Giorgio asked him, a grin broadening across his lips.

"Your playboy days are over, Giorgio. You get to decide just how uncomfortable you want it to get, going forward." Tom told him, Giorgio barely paid him any attention as he watched the women.

"I don't know what you people are looking for, but I'd be prepared to fail." Giorgio informed them as he watched Sasha and Azima tear up the place with a careful eye.

"Seems like you're always prepared to fail, Giorgio." Tom remarked, Giorgio gave a chuckle as he was completely deluded given he believed he wasn't failing at all. It made Tom a little nervous as he wondered if there was a trap set for them. But he let it go as the trap would've set off by now.

"I've got something." Sasha said, Tom looked over his shoulder and saw her standing by cabinet trying to get it open, she had seen sensor on the side of it just as Tom had.

"Sasha." Tom prompted as he held out the necklace.

"Wait. You're Sasha?" Giorgio asked in a rich manner. His eyes lit up as he made some connection. Tom cursed his mistake. Giorgio pointed at Sasha, "You know that he said your name while he was in bed with my sister. Talk about awkward." he drawled mockingly, Tom knew he was stirring them but man if it wasn't working as Sasha had glared at him when she snatched the necklace from his hand. Giorgio looked to Tom, "Looks like you have a type, Nobody." he drawled in amusement before he turned his gaze on Sasha. Tom wanted smash the man's face in for leering at Sasha but he restrained himself.

Sasha silently fumed as she swiped the charm over the sensor. It beeped and the doors slid open to show some hi-tech set up of what looked like a mini server farm. She quickly looked it over found the access port she needed and pulled her bag off, dropping to the ground so she could pull out the gear she needed to set an uplink for the Nathan James.

"Nathan James, prepare to receive data transfer via Link 16." she said over comms. Tom heard Kara reply over comms that they were ready and waiting. He watched as Sasha got to work setting up the link.

"I don't think your girlfriend likes your bedroom faux pas anymore than my sister did." Giorgio informed Tom with glee. Tom narrowed his eyes at the man as he should've been angry or sweating bullets at least. But he was just pleased to be toying with them. "She looks nearly as angry as my sister did when she found out who you really were, but I feel like that's how you leave all your woman Captain Chandler...So angry and bitter that you can't go back to them. Really burn those bridges." Giorgio quipped with a chuckle.

"You don't seem to mind that we've found all your secrets." Tom said as Azima started piling books onto the desk and looking through them. Giorgio gave a casual shrug.

"You mean my dear old Dad's secrets. No, because you only have one tiny ship against the Greek fleet and my sister's anger. She doesn't like being used. I promise you, you will not get away. You will most likely end up on my Dad's lab table dissected and studied like the animal you are." he promised them in a chillingly calm manner.

"Really? Dissection, that's new. I would've thought you'd have the balls to kill me, like you killed Moose and like you killed Alex?" Tom reminded him, Giorgio threw his hands up in the air in a 'think what you have to' manner.

"Alex was an example to the villagers. Never steal from your betters and Moose? well he'd served his purpose." Giorgio told him.

"You're a sick man." Tom told him, anger brimming within him as he thought of how Alex had died. How it had been partly his fault as they had stupidly stolen food from Giorgio. Food that was rightfully theirs but ultimately didn't change the repercussions.

"Me? You're the sick one. You nearly beat a man to death with your bare hands for kicks." Giorgio reminded him, Tom felt Sasha and Azima tense up as they worked, he looked their way and saw their expressions as he had left out some things in his report. Giorgio's face lit up with a smile. "Oh they don't know. This is too good, the poor guy was down, beaten, and your hero here," Giorgio pointed at Tom "showed him no mercy." he said in an impressed manner.

Tom gave a brief glance to the women and noted their reaction. They had no clue and Tom had hoped to keep that side of him firmly where it was made; in the dark. But Giorgio was relishing it all as he wore an amused smile.

"He didn't tell you? Ohh," Giorgio drawled mockingly, he looked at Tom. "Got demons much?" he asked him sarcastically before he smiled at Tom like he were an animal to be studied. "I wonder what else lurks in that black messed up heart. Hercules." he remarked in a dark manner as he looked up at Tom.

Tom couldn't help but tense up at the name 'Hercules' as it reminded of that time. Of how easy it was to beat that man into a pulp and the strange relief in doing it. He knew the psychology was that he was just fighting himself. That he beat that man to a pulp as if he were beating himself up.

"Sending." Sasha told the Nathan James, ignoring Giorgio who was baiting them. She tapped a few keys on her computer and stepped back to let it do it's thing.

"Captain." Azima called, Tom broke eye contact with Giorgio and moved to her as she meet him halfway with a open book in hand. He looked down at the open page and saw a whole bunch names and numbers written in the book. He took it from her and flipped through taking in the details.

"You were using us, the fighters. Why? What were you after?" Tom asked him.

"Science." Giorgio told him, plainly.

"Science." Tom said sceptically as Giorgio was not a man of science.

"What, you didn't think I pulled you off that pathetic little island just so we could become friends and you could service my sister, did you?" Giorgio drawled mockingly, "You were a guinea pig, a nobody. I can't wait to watch my sister rain fire on you and your friends. Though it will be a tragic loss to lose such gorgeous pieces of ass." he said, he pursed his lips in a kiss at the women.

Gunfire erupted outside and women started screaming outside. Sasha, Tom and Azima looked to the side of the room where the TV played security feeds.

 _"Captain, we've got a problem_." Burk remarked over comms in a quiet tone. Tom saw Vulture team were waiting for him to order a response. Tom looked through the screens until he found the one for the patio and pool area just in time to see Omar slit the throat of one of Giorgio's men.

"Oh, shit. That's Omar. He's alive. How the hell is he alive?" Giorgio demanded, he looked a mixture of scared and angry. It pissed Tom off that he didn't have the same effect on the man.

"Just isn't your day, is it, Giorgio?" Tom asked him.

"Oh, God. Oh, God." Giorgio said as he was losing his mind. Tom watched the screen as Omar's men took out Giorgio's guards and rounded up the surviving civilians.

"Nathan James, this is Vulture Team. Target is burned. Omar and his men have breached the premises. Bogies don't know we're in the house. Won't be long till they find out. Requesting immediate hot extract at primary LZ, over." Tom said casually as their mission was going sideways in the worst way but at least they had Omar to push Giorgio over the edge. But it didn't bode well for the civilians.

* * *

 _"_ Roger, Vulture Team _."_  Mike replied, he gave orders to the room for the extract and moved to Kara side at Chief Rain's station and looked at the upload. It looked like a massive amount of data was coming in.

"Mean anything to you?" he asked them, he couldn't help Vulture team any further than he had. The rest was upto sunshine and Vulture team getting out of the place in one piece.

"Cipher text, Sir." Kara replied as she definitely knew what they were looking. She kept her eyes on the screen and the rolling text, "Assuming we get the full upload, asymmetric encryption like this could take days to decipher." she told him. Mike frowned as that was not exactly great news but they'd take it. Kara looked at him with a serious expression. "Sir, I need as many LAN and ADP support PCs in Comms as possible. Anything not tied to ship integrity." she told him in no uncertain terms.

"Get it done." Mike told her.

"Yes, Sir." She replied as she moved to call for assistance from other departments on the ship. Mike turned his attention back to screen and watched the flashing dots on the screen. The Helo was getting close to the LZ.

* * *

"Upload?" Tom asked, Omar was pissed and rightfully so. Giorgio had not paid him and whatever slight Giorgio had made; Omar had come to reap his revenge. He had killed two civilians to lure Giorgio out and when that failed sent his men to straight to the study door.

They clearly knew Giorgio would be in here due to the electronic lock. It wouldn't take much for them to get the door open as they had grit and persistence. They also outnumbered Vulture team but 4 men to one of them. Not good odds as they had the better ground while Tom and his team were hunkered down in locations that meant they had to cross large spaces with no cover.

"70%." Sasha replied, it was so close to being completely uploaded. She like the others were frustrated with how long it was taking. She didn't want to lose the intelligence they could gather from it.

Tom saw one of the men put something that had to be explosive on the door. He just couldn't wait for them to blow the door in.

"Engage at the door." Tom ordered, he watched as Omar's men outside the study dropped to the ground. Omar and his men took cover but the hiding game was over. Tom and the others had to go, gunfire erupted again as Vulture team engaged Omar's men.

"Looks like we're your only hope. Give us the location of your father's lab. Don't, and I'll feed you to Omar." Tom told him, Sasha looked up from the screen at Giorgio. The man had lost his cool facade and was panicking. She could only wonder what he did to piss Omar off, but man did it feel good to see him squirm.

"Just FYI, Omar will skin you alive. I've seen him do it." Sasha assured him, Giorgio blanched at statement as he clearly wasn't a masochist.

"Hey." he said incredulously as he turned to Tom, "Hey! I am an asset. You have to protect me. And by law, you can't barter with a terrorist. So ha!" he said looking justified in his position. "Hoist on your own petard." he told Tom, reminding him that Americans did not indeed negotiate with Terrorists.

"Can we shut him up?" Sasha asked as she was tired of listening to him.

"Shh! the men are talking sweetheart." Giorgio told Sasha, she gave him a droll look as it looked like the man found his balls again. Just right when they should leave his ass to Omar. Giorgio turned back to Tom. "You think I'm an idiot? You trying to play me like you played my sister? Well, guess what? You got played. She never even liked you. And your boy Fletcher? He was happy to bring me those seeds." He told Tom with glee,

Sasha snapped and anger flared in her at the mention of James, "There's nothing you can do -" Giorgio tried to finish his petty speech but Sasha yanked him by the collar and slammed his face into the desk. She pulled her sidearm and turned off the safety and pressed it against his head.

"Say his name again." she dared him, a dark calm that fed off her anger flooded through her body. As all she could think about was how this man and his poisonous family had turned her life upside down. How they had taken away everything she had when James jumped off the ship with the seeds.

The fact he spoke of James in present tense meant he was still alive, if the man was to be believed. Then James was probably gleeful he pulled one over her, making her a fool. Answering every dark and damaging question she had about herself and James to be true.

"Say his name again." She dared Giorgio again, her anger assured her that she would take some satisfaction from splattering his brains across the expensive desk as he was part of the problem. Thus it made his death part of the solution.

"You gonna let her kill me, Cappy? You need me to bust this whole thing wide open." Giorgio reminded them all even though he implored to Tom as a leader. Sasha pressed her lips into a firm line and pushed the barrel end of the gun into his skull with a bruising pressure. She just needed Giorgio to push her, to give her the excuse she needed to pull the trigger.

"Sasha, we need him alive. For now." Tom said, she looked down at Giorgio for a long moment not adhering to Tom's order. She reigned in her anger as she could see Giorgio's fear from her silence. There was something vindictively satisfying in seeing Giorgio slightly broken. That need to blow his head off faded and her anger slowed to a simmer. She pulled her gun back and stepped away from him and looked anywhere but at Tom. She didn't need his judgement of her, the man was a hypocrite as much as she was in that moment.

She holstered her weapon and moved back to the computer. Tom yanked Giorgio off the table ad shoved him back into a chair. She didn't bother looking at Tom as she didn't need him or his brand of 'help'. She'd see the mission through as a professional and berate herself later. She looked at the screen read the percentage and inwardly cursed at it slowly moved to 90%.

" _Vulture Team, we're pinned down, Captain! We're gonna need all the help that we can get_!" Danny told them, they looked up at the screen and in a flash Giorgio jumped out his chair. He hit some kind of hidden button on the desk and a secret compartment opened to reveal heavy weaponry.

"Don't you move." Azima ordered as she held her gun at him. He held his hands out in surrender.

"It's not for me." he assured them as he sat back down. "It's for you to use against Omar." He told them as he gestured to the weapons like they were party favours.

"Stay put." Azima told him in a dark tone. She moved to the weapons and eyed them with clear enthusiasm. She picked up the M249 SAW Paratrooper and held it in her arms with a satisfied smile. Sasha looked down at her screen and watched the last two percent tick over.

"Done. Time to move." Sasha told them as she packed up her equipment and stuffed it into her backpack with the rest of the stuff they had found. Azima moved to the study door.

"Cobra Team, on me. I got a surprise for Omar." Tom told them as he watched Azima disappear to go help the boys and play with her new toy. Omar's men wouldn't know what hit them. Tom picked up his bag and helped pack up the books and papers in the room as Azima opened the study door and stepped out into the fray firing at Omar's men.

Within seconds, Danny and Burk joined them with Azima while Miller and Wolf took an alternative exit. Once they were in the study, Burk closed the door and joined the party in the main room. Tom handed Burk a bag of explosives. "Arm it." he ordered.

"Got it." Burk said as he went to setting up the charges.

"How the hell are we getting out of here?" Giorgio asked him incredulously.

"Is that Caligula?" Tom asked pointed at the ugly bust that was being used as a planter.

"It was a gift." Giorgio replied, Tom picked it up and through it at the window. The glass shattered and the team rushed out in a single profile. Tom took point while the others followed with Burk remaining behind to finish setting the charges. Tom barely made it five steps when he gunned down two of Omar's men and kept moving. He knew they needed to get off the property ASAP as the explosives would decimate the building and surroundings.

"Coming out!" Wolf shouted, Tom paused momentarily as he let Wolf and Miller move in front of the line. The men came through a side door. They made their way down the side of the house and into the courtyard with little resistance. It wasn't until they were halfway across one of Giorgio's men lifted up and fired two rounds. Tom heard Sasha cry out in pain and fall to the ground. He killed the guard and spared a brief look behind him to see Green and Azima pull Sasha to her feet and keep moving. He looked back and saw Giorgio running into the house.

"Giorgio, no!" Tom shouted as the man was running straight into an house that was about to explode. He knew there was no way of saving him. Giving up on the notion he followed the rest of the team. The explosion rumbled through the air and the ground shook but Tom didn't look back as his focus was getting Sasha and the team back to the ship.

* * *

An hour later,

Sasha hissed in pain as she pressed the ice pack to her bruised upper left chest area, she'd been hit just a cm below where her plating ended in her vest. Rios had said she was lucky, something she didn't feel given her current situation but she tried not to dwell on that as she watched the man stitch up the gash in her arm from the second bullet that grazed her. A local anaesthetic numbed that part of her arm. She half wished it could numb the rest of her.

"More Ibuprofen when I'm finished?" Rios offered.

"Sounds perfect." she lied, she could ignore the pain given time to calm down and focus. "We have a whole bunch of books with notes and stuff in them. Giorgio mentioned it being about science. That they were studying the fighters. Think you could spare some time and sit with us in the wardroom?" she asked him.

"I really need to stay here and monitor Ms Khan. But if you bring the books to me. I can look over them here." he told her.

"Ok." she said accepting his situation and frankly she couldn't see what a few decks difference in location would make. "How is she?" she asked referring to Naz.

"Better, but still very weak. I don't feel comfortable leaving her unattended." Rios said, Sasha knew how he felt. Naz was the easiest of problems to deal with and resolve. He just had to keep her alive and get her strong. When that happened, he would have a win after all the losses.

Sasha understood the concept completely as this mission with the seeds had become hers. She had to finish it. It was all she had and once she completed it, she'd have her victory. Maybe she'd be able to salvage her pride and part of her reputation from wreck she had made of it.

"She's probably awake, if you want to pop your head in and say 'hi'." he added.

"Later when I bring the books to you." Sasha told him, she wanted to see how Naz was but she needed to get her head straight first.


	16. Chapter 16

"Hey Azima," Sasha said as she dragged the excess water from her face and flicked it into the sink. She had come into the women's shower and bathroom to wash her face. The woman had just stepped out of the shower in her towel and moved to look into the mirror.

"Hey, Doctor Rios clear you?" Azima asked as she started applying moisturiser to her face and neck.

"Yes, just bruises and a few stitches." Sasha told her, she used paper towel to dry her face and tossed it into the bin before she leaned against the sink. "Is there something on your mind?" she asked, she hadn't missed the masked annoyance on Azima's face.

"Yes, I say this not only as your friend but a fellow military officer. Pull yourself together." Azima told her bluntly, there was no malice in her words. She just looked fed up.

"Excuse me." Sasha said as the woman was normally more tactful. Though she deserved it for what happened on the mission. Nearly blowing Giorgio's head off was not professional.

"Fletcher is not worth getting bent out of shape for and he is definitely not worth ruining your career for." Azima told her, Sasha felt the same anger and shame rise in her at the mention of his name.

"He betrayed me. He made me into a fool." Sasha told her.

"A story old as time itself." Azima remarked in a tone that said she didn't care and Sasha was not special. "It's why you should let it go. All you did was not take into consideration that his first loyalty was to his country not the US or the US's mission statement." Azima added, making it clear that Sasha should've known better and kept herself guarded.

"Exactly, I should've accounted for it from the beginning and because of it, we lost the seeds." Sasha argued being devil's advocate as she felt responsible for Fletcher's actions even though rationally she knew it wasn't her burden to bear.

"You were blindsided. It happens, and we will get the seeds back." Azima promised her. Sasha wanted to argue but Azima continued. "But you lost control on the mission for a moment today and while I feel you're entitled to be hurt by what happened. But you should know better than to carry that your emotional baggage on the mission. You have to deal with that before we're deployed again because if you lose control like you did today, it could cost you your life." Azima told her.

"I hear what you saying. But -"

"No, stop playing it over in your head and analysing it. You see him again, you do what you have to but right now whatever is going on in your head in regards to Fletcher and to an extent Captain Chandler. You have to stop it. You have to let it go, you put it out of your mind as getting those seeds, saving the world is all that matters. It's all that will ever matter until it's done." Azima told her.

"You don't get it." Sasha told her, she was't sure how she was supposed to make the woman understand but even she tried to summon an argument; she knew Azima was right. Now was not the time to be heart sore, she should've let Giorgio get to her as he had or should she have let Tom get under skin with his well meaning speech about not doubting herself.

"You don't get it." Azima said firmly, "Fletcher for all his faults, had his orders. What happened had nothing to do with you or how he felt for you. It's irrelevant all of these emotions and personal relationships mean nothing as his government gave him orders, he did what every good soldier does when he is given an order. He obeys. Just as we do." Azima reminded her.

"You're right." Sasha conceded, she couldn't argue with the logic. She hated it, but it was true. Fletcher chose to be a good soldier and follow orders. She had experience in burning past associates and relationships by putting her work first.

But the real pinch was that if they had orders to dump Fletcher at the closest Port; she would've tried to argue for him to stay but if it didn't work. She would have follow orders without further hesitation. What bugged her among many other things was that Fletcher didn't try to find a work around, he just followed orders. He made it clear what his choice was, it was a professional one with that clarity in mind. It was time she focused on being the professional she claimed to be and remove her personal feelings from it.

"There is no comfort in it, but you have to move past it. You have to do it tonight, let that anger go; punch something or whatever you need to do and rest. When you wake, you don't give him or what he did another thought. The mission isn't your wounded pride, it isn't Fletcher; it's the seeds. It's saving us all before starve to death." Azima told her.

"Yes." Sasha agreed as Azima was right. Her conflicted emotions with Fletcher and what he did was starting to make her ineffectual at her duties. She needed to release the anger as Azima said and let it go. She just wasn't sure she could do it in less than 18 hours but who knew. She could try.

"When the world is saved, we will go for a girl's night out and I will get you drunk. I will let you tell me everything and complain or until you over it." Azima told her.

"Then dancing?" Sasha asked as she liked the idea of cutting loose. She couldn't remember the last time she went out and had fun.

"Yes, we should bring Naz with us. She looks like she needs a good night out." Azima said as she changed into her underwear and pulled out her body moisturiser.

"Not a bad idea." Sasha told her, as she liked the idea of having friends to hang out with. "Thanks." she added as she appreciated Azima's words. She may have not wanted to hear them but she realised it was time to stop focusing on Fletcher and put it solely back onto the mission at hand. Get the seeds, then she'd pick up what was left behind.

"I've lost too many friends. I don't want to lose you too." Azima told her.

* * *

Later that afternoon,

"There are so many video files, and notes. The man was prolific writer. I don't even know where to begin." Sasha said to Rios as she sat on the main infirmary bed taking up the space where Naz's legs should've been stretched out. Naz was on the other half with the bed with her legs crossed as the back of the bed was propped up. She sat up with a ledger in her lap, flipping through the pages.

Sasha had laptop in her lap looking through the files that hadn't been encrypted. She didn't have a science background so a lot of it was like reading a language she did not understand. She had rudely come back to the infirmary in the midst of Naz's ECG and started piling up the books and files.

Once Rios unhooked Naz from the machine, Sasha hopped up on the bed making it impossible to send Naz back into the other room. It also helped that Naz looked happy at the idea of being in the party then put to bed in the other room. Even if Naz did look like she could use more sleep. They could all use a few hours more sleep, but it would have to wait. Sasha liked having Naz by as Tom couldn't force her out and Rios had to stay which meant Sasha had buffer to get work done without Tom talking about the past mission.

"Find the latest research data, then go backwards from there. Cause it looks like they were studying the fighters. The books I've looked over so far are rough notes but it looks like they are testing fight or flight. So we look at how far he's gotten, we'll be able to know how far along he is and what he's up to." Rios told her, Sasha gave a nod and started searching the files for the most up to date items.

"Coffee?" Mike offered as he came in with a jug and four cups. He placed it on the only free space in the room. Papers and books were piled up on the available bench space and spread to floor in uniformed piles. Tom leaned against the wall on the far side of the room looking over a book with a bland expression.

Rios placed down the books he was going through and went directly to the coffee on offer. It was clear the man was running on fumes just like the rest of them.

"Any sign of Giorgio?" Sasha asked Mike, not looking up from her computer, she felt ashamed by actions at Giorgio's house. She knew Azima was right. She needed to excise her demons in regards to Fletcher and let it go as she needed her head in the game. Not bemoaning Fletcher and his betrayal. Though she knew she'd carry the pain for awhile, it didn't have to fuel her or control her like it did today.

"Recce team's combed half the island looking for Giorgio. Nothing." Mike said to Sasha.

"Probably died in the blast." Tom remarked as he placed a book onto a pile.

"One can only hope." Naz remarked as she turned a page of the ledger in her lap. She looked up at Mike, her eyes connected with Mike and he gave her a look as if asking her if she was ok. She gave a nod which he responded in kind before he looked to Rios who was speaking.

"Well, the ledgers brought back from the mansion, they're medical charts, basically. A complete record of the fighters' clinical data. Diagnostics, progress notes, problems, test results. Vellek wasn't just recording their vitals. He was also keeping tabs on his own metrics. If you take a look," Rios said before he took a sip of coffee and picked up the book on his table, passing it to Tom. He then took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. "He was studying aggression levels." Rios told them.

"The fights weren't just about entertainment." Mike said as carefully stepped over a pile of files and moved to Tom's side. So he could read over the man's shoulder.

"Vellek was using them to find the most aggressive men he could get his hands on." Sasha said as she kept her eyes on the screen. Mike looked down at the book and the names. He found Hercules at the bottom of the latest page.

"There you are. Hercules. Aggression level nine." Mike drawled, he quirked an eyebrow at Tom, "I thought you got off the ship to relax." he said drily.

"That is me relaxed." Tom told him.

"Well, you're in good company. Hades is level nine, the fights I saw him in were brutal. He'd toy with his opponents and dislocate their joints until they couldn't move. Then he'd gauge out their eyeballs and eat them with pleasure." Naz said as with a grim smile. Tom didn't miss the looks that came his way thanks to Naz's words as they all wondered how he acted to be classified a level nine. He deserved the slight shade she was throwing at him given he'd nearly killed her for a name that in the end was meaningless.

"Not my style." Tom said a little awkwardly as he didn't like the look Sasha gave him. It was like she could almost see him being so insidiously cruel and he couldn't correct her as she turned her attention back to her laptop and continued working like he wasn't there. "The real question is why's Vellek so interested in aggression?" Tom said as he passed the book over to Rios.

"Why not? Scientists have been studying Aggression and criminal behaviour for years. I remember there being a study aggressive behaviour and testosterone in male criminals. They were experimenting on how to medically treat it and lower aggression in violent offenders. The point of the study was to reduce fighting of inmates in prisons and possibly use a form of rehabilitation." Naz offered casually.

"I read that paper," Rios said, he looked to the others. "They were were looking into something similar to chemically castrating a sex offender. But instead as Naz says the treatment would remove the subjects aggression or violent tendencies making them 'harmless'. Maybe it's a carry on of that research." Rios suggested.

"Doesn't explain why Vellek would expend so many resources and time when there are bigger problems at hand like the Red Rust." Tom said with a frown as it was like having a random piece of a puzzle and not knowing where it belonged or if it even belonged to the puzzle they were working on.

"I think I found something." Sasha said, she hopped down from the bed and placed the laptop on the bed. The men moved to the screen where she brought up a video. "Here." she said, she tapped play and stood back.

The video played and Tom recognised the man in the clip. He had been at the fights. The man who wrapped his hands, Dr Vellek. He sat at a table in a fully stocked lab, he spoke his journal entry at the computer in the much the same way Rachel did when she was researching the cure. But unlike Rachel, Dr Vellek liked to to speak in a deep philosophical manner.

" _A.D. 65 the Roman philosopher Seneca, a stoic, wrote a letter to Luciluis regarding, no doubt, the notorious emperor Nero around the time that guy went nuts. In this letter, Seneca called anger a short madness, much like "a falling rock that breaks itself to pieces upon the very thing it crushes." I disagree. It is not a short madness._ " Vellek journal-ed, he grew impassioned as he continued to talk. " _Aggression cannot be conquered. Aggression cannot be beaten neither by compassion, reason, or love. Nero did not get better. He did not get nice. In fact, in his fury, he ordered Seneca to kill himself. Once you go over the cliff, man, it is a straight shot down. The rock of anger only breaks once it breaks you_." he said, the video changed as new footage filled the screen.

It was of a fight at Giorgio's. Tom first fight, his gut clenched as he remember the fight. He also saw how the room reacted as he came up on the video smashing his fists into Ares until he got the upper hand. He stepped back and ducked his head, turning from the screen and the others as he didn't want to see what they were thinking. But he felt their eyes on him.

" _This is Ares, God of War. Aggression levels off the charts, man, as you can see_." Vellek narrated over the video clip. Vellek returned to the screen. " _And here is Ares today_." he said, he rose from his chair and moved the camera over to another place. Behind Vellek was Ares, he sat in a chair looking calm but with a vacant feel about him.

" _On your feet, fighter man_." Vellek said, Ares rose to his feet without hesitation and turned Vellek. They all watched as Vellek slapped the man across the face three times, and Ares showed no response at all. Not even a sign that he was peeved nor did he beg the man to stop.

" _Okay. Enough. Sit_." he told Ares, the man sat down, Vellek looked to the camera. " _Look at Ares now. The picture of perfect inner peace. Propensity of violence,_ " Vellek snapped his fingers  _"snuffed out of him, you might say_." Vellek looked to somewhere off the screen and motioned to someone off camera. " _Okay, boys, come on in_." he said and two more men walked in and stood behind him. They were the same build as Ares and had the same vacant look in their eyes.

" _You see, I've injected Ares and his palooka pals with a concentrate of an ingredient from Dinostos Phosphate. In its purified form, this chemical short-circuits the stress/aggression positive feedback loop, thus cutting off the hypothalamic attack response. Even the most pissed-off individual is left with a sort of pleasant pacifism_." Vellek said as he laid out his research documenting for history.

"I remember that pleasant pacifism. It was awful." Mike said in disgust. He looked to Naz who remained quiet on the matter but he could tell she felt vindicated. Tom couldn't try and dig up a future argument that she was against them or harbour evil plans because the Nostos had turned her into a pacifist.

It also explained why she never defended herself when she was attacked, why she never fought back. Maybe some of it was her past as a soldier but he'd bank on the Nostos playing a huge roll in how she acted. It would be interesting to see how much her personality shifted now she was sober. He wasn't worried about as he had a feeling that is wasn't too far removed from the woman he was getting to know.

"Sir, what you drank was diluted Nostos. It wasn't heavily processed and tinkered with like what Vellek is talking about. It's why you and Naz were able to recover." Rios said.

" _In all other areas, these fighters are functioning men, but their will to fight, their need to fight, their compulsion to fight has been overridden by a kind of docility the world could use more of right now. Since Homosapien walked out of a cave, the only reason for man's existence is to perceive a suffering world and to concieve a goodness the only reason that will mend it. Peace_." Vellek said, the video ended and they all took a moment to process Vellek's words.

"Goddamn hippie." Mike said in disgust.

"The kind of docility the world can use more of right now?" Sasha asked incredulously, as she repeated the man's words. "I mean, It's like Vellek wants to turn people into livestock." She said with a frown as she was trying to make sense of what was going on.

"Sheep. That's the word he used. He's gonna be the shepherd." Tom said as he remembered his conversation with Vellek when he was taping his hands up for the fight in Sardinia.

"I'm sorry, but what's all that gotta do with the seeds?" Naz asked them as she gestured to the screen, clearly trying to make the connection. Tom looked at her and wondered how she truly felt about the 'pleasant pacifism' Vellek described but all he saw in her features was confusion and exhaustion. He didn't know why, but he felt like she didn't realise how important the seeds until Sasha had explained it to her. It made him a fool for not seeing it before.

"Control." Tom told her, "The seeds give Vellek control over the world's food supply. The drug is the weapon he'll use to protect himself against any adversary who tries to take him on." Tom told her.

"They'll give up without a fight, do whatever he says in order to get fed." Sasha said with an aggravated sigh.

"Jesus." Mike said.

"I'm sorry, it's just not logical. If we go off your theory that he's the shepherd and we're his vicious little flock that needs to tamed. I doubt he'd ask us all if we wanted to be pacifists, wouldn't he try to introduce it-" Naz started but Sasha finished.

"Through the food." Sasha said in disbelief, as it hadn't occurred to her until right that moment. "He needs the seeds so he can cure the food and somehow put his drug into the the food at the same time." She said as she realised where Naz's thoughts were going. She looked to Rios who was on the same page as her.

"I agree, he's spent over a year refining this experimental drug. If he can grow the food with the refined Nostos in it. Then whoever eats it-" Rios drawled.

"Will become like them." Mike finished as he pointed at the screen his meaning not lost as they all knew he was talking about Ares and the fighters. It was a terrifying thought that Vellek could save the world but also subdue it into a chemically induce pacifism into what remained of the human race.

"We have to find him and those seeds." Sasha stated.

* * *

Hours later,

"Hey." Danny said to Kara as he came into the comms room to find his beautiful wife standing at the back watching the screens. Comms specialist Chief Rain sat at the desk with headsets on looking completely consumed by the work in front of her. The room was filled to the brim with desktops and laptop computers; all jerry-rigged MacGyver style to create presumably a super computer to process the upload they had gotten from Giorgio's mansion.

"Hey." Kara replied they both looked at the monitors.

"This the data from the house?" Danny asked her, he figured it as he couldn't see how it would be worth missing dinner with him if it wasn't.

"Yeah. I've got 15 servers burning through a million alphanumeric combinations per second, looking for a key." Kara told him, it was a monumental task for two people and they mocked up system but they didn't have a choice. They had to make do with what they had and hoped it worked out.

"Sounds nerdy." Danny said teasingly, trying to earn himself a smile from his wife and frankly it was a turn on to see her completely in her zone and talk technical. If they had been alone, he would have told her as much but that wasn't the case with Chief Rain in their presence.

"It's not fast enough." Kara said completely oblivious to the flirtatious undertone Danny had used. He couldn't help but inwardly smile at how distracted she was. They hadn't seen one another since before the storm. He couldn't help but find it ridiculous that even when they were on the same ship they went days without seeing one another.

"Mission went great, by the way. Not a hitch. Thanks for asking." he told her, she looked at him and gave him an odd look.

"Shoulder's great, by the way. Thanks for asking." She said in the same light and mocking tone. They both smiled at one another and chuckled as they both couldn't believe their current situation affected their marriage. They just didn't have any quality time on the ship even though they were together. But once the mission was over, there would be plenty of time to make up for it.

* * *

"You ready for this?" Mike asked Naz as he unzipped the travel scrabble case and laid it on the bunk by Naz's knees as she knelt on the bed and leaned against the wall for support. She looked beyond the point exhaustion where like he- she was tired but her brain would not let her sleep even if she tried.

"No." Naz replied as she wore an amused smile as it was clear Mike was very into playing the game. She knew they were both looking for a distraction from their problems personal and otherwise. She had to admit she was surprised to see Mike of all people raring to play scrabble. It was adorable and strangely uplifting.

"We don't have to play." he assured her, she loved how caring he was as it didn't seem like he was saying she was pitiful for backing out. But she was ok, tired but ok as he was here. Somehow with him knowing her whole mess and what she was going through seemed to put everything into better perspective. She was able to loosen the knots within her and relax with him here as all they were doing was playing scrabble.

"No, I want to play but I'm a little fried. I don't think I'll be much of a challenge to beat." she told him, she also wanted to just do something normal and amusing even for a little while.

"I'm running on less than four hours sleep. So I'd say we're about even." he told her.

"You should go to bed and rest." She said worried about him.

"Rios needs a break and someone had to stay with you." He told her.

"I'll be fine on my own or you can sleep on the top bunk. I'll just kick the frame if I need you." She said with a small smile as she was half tempted to tell him to imagine his early days in the Navy or that they were camping.

"Nope, I said I'd watch you. So I'm going to watch you." He told her as he made sure the board was stable on the bed and then shook the bag of tiles.

"Well, then we're definitely playing scrabble as I won't be able to sleep with you watching me." She said, he offered the bag and she reached in picking out a bunch of tiles.

"Ok." he replied, not bothered in the least. He had hours until the information from the uplink was decrypted, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep until it was complete. So he was happy to relieve Rios and let the man get some sleep.

He also liked that he'd be able to just take a break from reality and indulge in anything that took his mind off work. He couldn't blow off steam in the gym and he didn't want to be in the company of anyone else but Naz. She luckily for him, didn't know enough about his work for them to spiral into a dark conversation of how badly the mission was going.

"Do you have special rules I should know about?" She asked as she reached into bag and picked out the last of her tiles.

"American English, no slang or pronouns. No leeway for British English, we tossed the tea in the bay for a reason." Mike told her as he grabbed his and started putting them into his rack.

"Yes, so you use the outdated imperial system and miss-spell a whole bunch of words to your little heart's content." She drawled mockingly. Mike smiled as he liked the acerbic humour even if it was at the expense of his culture.

"Exactly, no frivolous uses of the letter of 'U'." he deadpanned, Naz shook her head at him but she wore an amused smile.

"Ok. Fine." she said wryly as she pulled out her tiles and placed them onto her tiny rack. "Hey, no peeking." she admonished him as she placed a hand over her tiles.

"I was just making sure you had enough tiles." He told her, which was true in his defence but he couldn't help but smile at her chastising him. He had a feeling it was going to be fun to have someone who didn't call him sir and had no problem telling him off.

"Uhuh," Naz remarked drily as she didn't believe him but was still light and amused. "I thought all you Sailors were into chess and against cheating." she commented as she organised her tiles on the rack.

"Chess is alright. It's not cheating. It's playing dirty." he corrected, as if there were a difference, "And Scrabble is better, it still requires the same set as Chess but you also have to have an impressive mathematical skills, vocabulary and memory." he told her in a manner that suggested he had all those qualities in spades.

"So humble." She said with a lighthearted chuckle as Mike was just a little chuffed with himself.

"You'll get used to it. And as you nearly died twice in the past 24 hours, you can first." Mike told her in a magnanimous manner, Naz gave him a look which made him worry it was a little too soon to joke about it.

"Hey, I died for a whole minute before Miller resuscitated me. I should get a 50 point head start." She informed him, Mike barked a laugh and shook his head at her.

"Nice try, now play your tiles." he told her.

* * *

"Figured you'd be in the wardroom pouring over the information we got from Giorgio's." Tom said as he walked into the Gym. It was the last place he had expected to find her. He figured she'd bury herself in paperwork so she wouldn't have to think about what happened at the house or the past forty eight hours.

"Needed a break to clear my mind." Sasha told him, she punched the bag and then stopped it as it swung back at her from the force of her hits. She had needed to blow off some steam. So she ran for about half an hour and then moved to the punching bag.

It felt good to hit something even if her injured arm and chest didn't like her for doing it. She pushed through the pain as she'd done so many times before. She was a woman on a mission. Her mission right now was to excise her anger and sleep. Hitting the bag was helping with her anger, the exhaustion was taking away the part of her brain that wanted to gnaw on the fact her love life was abysmal and killing her ability to work.

"And you thought to exercise with your injuries." Tom said as he moved behind the bag and steadied before Sasha started punching out her frustration and anger. It looked like she had been at it for a while as she was drenched in sweat the bandage on her arm had bleed through. But she was powering through.

"Nothing is broken, just a large bruise. So thanks for the concern but I'll live." Sasha said a little frustrated as she punched out a combo of jab, jab, punch followed by a kick. Tom grunted as the bag took the hits but he felt the force of her strength behind them. He adjusted his footing, so he wasn't thrown by the bag.

"You'll tear your stitches." he told her, if she hadn't already. Sasha ignored him as she continued her assault on the bag. "You know, there's no way Fletcher knew what Vellek was up to, or he wouldn't have done what he did." Tom told her, wanted her know she could let herself off the hook as he was pretty sure she was punishing herself than blowing off steam.

"What difference does it make?" Sasha asked him as she focused on the bag. She had promised herself that she do as Azima suggested punch the crap out of something until she felt better or at least some relief. Then shower, go to sleep and wake up tomorrow focused on the mission.

"He betrayed all of us. We all trusted him." Tom told her, he had to dodge as she nearly punched him in the face as his words threw her off target. Or at least he hoped so as she glared at him. She dropped her fists and stepped back. She used her arm to wipe the sweat off her face. She sorely wanted to be petty and correct him but she recognised it wasn't healthy. Spiralling into depression wasn't going to save the world either.

"Yeah, I know and I've hashed it over enough to know it's not about me or you or the crew. He was following orders, just as we do everyday. It wasn't personal at all, so get over it." Sasha told him, doing her best to remove herself from the equation.

Frankly, the more she said it was orders. The less Fletcher's betrayal stung,as it reinforced how impersonal it really was and when she silently added in that she would've done the same. Well, it gave everything a whole different tune and understanding. They were Military officers, they followed orders even the ones they didn't like or want to do. The true lesson of all, was that she should never have become involved with an intelligence agent from a foreign country. If she stuck to that rule, she'd never have to face the problem ever again.

"It felt personal to me, it looked like it was personal today with Giorgio." Tom told her, reminding her of how she lost her edge and about Fletcher. She wished he'd just let it go and give her space to deal with her problems first before searching her out with a pep talk.

"A friend reminded me today, that my mission is about the seeds not fixing my personal life or ego." Sasha said before she focused on the bag again and threw another combo of punches at it. "And yes, I know my actions today were unacceptable, which is why I'm here venting my problems on a bag. I plan never to let my personal life mix with my professional again. I've learnt my lesson. Never to shit where I eat, ok?" she asked between punches, she grunted as she punched the bag with as much force as she could get out of her tired arms.

"You think it's that simple?" He asked her, she stopped and looked at him. She took a moment to catch her breath and think. Azima was right, she needed to pull her head in the game. Tom was here not helping her as he just picked at her wounds instead of allowing them to scab and heal. She was tired of being angry at Tom, Fletcher and the world. She knew she could shoot Tom down a million different ways for just his actions against her. But she preferred Azima's idea better of letting it go than taking the low road and making herself feel worse.

"I decided it is that simple. I may have issues but it's time I put them away and focus on the mission." She told him, pushing her emotions away as she resume punching the bag. She felt an emotional dissonance wash through her as her brain worked out the logistics to not care. To not feel, which was a trick she'd learnt through her years in Naval intelligence. She had forgotten it, as she had allowed it all to become personal. "I'd prefer you to not buck me up as I'm going to be fine." she told him.

"Sasha-"

"No, I accept I made mistakes. I'm not going to stew in them any longer and I'm not giving Fletcher another thought. I'd appreciate it if you didn't keep bringing it up." she told him firmly, he gave her a look like she were delusional.

"I think you're oversimplifying the matter and ignoring the inevitable fallout." Tom told her, he didn't want her to burn out like he had. He could see it happening to her even if she wanted to pretend she was working through it. She wasn't.

"Right, I should just give in to my emotions and get us all killed. Who cares if the human race dies as long I get Fletcher for what he did to me. Do you think I'm that petty and self involved?" Sasha asked incredulously as she had been so close to calming down only for Tom to rile her back up. The only out she saw was to leave Tom.

"No, I just don't think whatever this is, is healthy." Tom told her, Sasha scoffed at him while she started to unravel the tape on her hands.

"Tom, I'm fucking exhausted from the past year and half. I've taken a lot of hits, you are barely letting me have time to digest what happens of late before telling me what I feel or should think. I don't need that, I need a friend who lets me come to them when I need help. A friend who stands with me not comes in and points out all my failings and wants to psychoanalyse my exes and how it makes me feel." she told him in a frustrated manner.

"I can do that." Tom lied, and they both knew it. He was too judgemental, he liked to be so heavily involved that he had a say in everything.

"No you can't." Sasha told him, as she dumped the tape from her first hand into her gym bag and moved onto her other hand. "Honestly, I'm still angry at you for walking away; only to be here in the Med at the same time as me. Working the same problem but not once contacting me, not even to tell me that you were ok. I'll get over it as I will with what happened with Fletcher. But for my sanity, I think it's best we remain impersonal until the mission is over." Sasha added.

"Ok, I understand." he conceded, doing his best not to look or sound disappointed. But he didn't understand how he was getting lumped in with Fletcher and punished for it, when he was trying to help. He thought she understood his reasons for leaving and staying out of contact. But clearly, he was wrong. "Will you at least let me fix your arm?" he asked her, he wanted to salvage something between them. Sasha shook her head as she tossed the tape from her other hand into her bag and zipped it up.

"I'll take care of it." she assured him, she hefted her bag over her shoulder and walked out of the room. Tom watched her go, as much as he didn't agree with what she had said. He knew she needed the distance between them. He'd give it to her, but this time he wasn't going to leave her. As they both had the same goal in mind, he wanted her to be happy. He wanted to be the one who made her happy but clearly it wasn't his hour to do so. He just wished he could be what she needed now.


	17. Chapter 17

A couple hours later,

Kara's back and feet ached as she leaned over the desk watching the servers crunch the numbers. Yes, it was not easy and there was a lot hanging on the line. But even with the frustration of waiting, she found herself surprising enjoying the hard work, being back as TAO. She missed Frankie deeply, but here on the ship in the thick of everything surrounded by her second family felt good after two years of being in civilian and on shore duty.

Even now as she was sweating in putridly warm room thanks to the hot air being pumped out of their computers even with A/C working overtime to keep the machines from overheating and frying out. She just hoped they found a key soon.

"Ma'am? We got a key." Chief Rain said, Kara looked up to see the screen. She gave a small smile of relief mixed with pleasure as this was it. She moved over to stand behind Chief Rain and looked at the screen as the decryption key unlocked the information. Files popped up on the screen, as massive amounts of data became available to them.

"This is Vellek's entire operation." Kara observed, she felt giddy at the fact they had so much information at their fingertips. "Click on Lab." Kara said pointing at the screen as it was the most important information she'd gleaned from a 10 second glance. Chief Rain did as ordered and opened the file "Open most recent." Kara said, the screen changed and Kara squinted and leaned in the read what popped up the screen.

"Oh, my God." Chief Rain said as she saw what Kara did, it was longitude and latitude of the lab's location and communique times.

"Save that." Kara told her, she had to take it to CIC and share it with the Captains. "I'll be CIC, but I want you keep looking over the communication logs as they are decrypted. I want to know where else he's been communicating with besides the lab." she told Chief Rain as she disconnected her computer from the system.

"Yes, Ma'am." Chief Rain acknowledged.

* * *

An hour later,

Mike stood with Tom, Meylan and Sasha in CIC, the call had come that the up-link had been decrypted. He'd been halfway through his second game with Naz when he'd been paged. It was shame to have to rejoin reality but the call came at a perfect time as Rios had returned and Naz was already half asleep, her body forcing her to finally sleep even though she tried to stay awake for the game. It felt good to take a breather from the world and everything that was happening; to just enjoy the frivolity of a game and laugh. It helped a lot.

"We were able to decrypt the data from Giorgio's house. The numbers from the mansion, they show the location of the lab. They're lat and longs, Sirs. But there's something else." Kara told them she gestured to the map that was being on the big screen in CIC. It showed the locations of coordinates Kara and Chief Rain had found.

"The numbers, they're all different, so we assumed Vellek's people changed the code each time. But it wasn't the code that changed." Kara said as she looked to them, allowing them to connect the dots and see what she did.

"If the code didn't change, that means the location of the lab did." Mike surmised, Kara nodded.

"Coordinates aren't on land." Sasha said as it clearly showed on the map.

"No. Vellek's lab it's a ship." Mike said as the coordinated were easy to chain up like a trail of ship moving through the water.

"The fourth ship, Naz spoke of." Tom said looking to Mike who nodded in agreement.

"We knew it was out there. Now it makes sense why it wasn't there when the other ships were chasing us. Think we can approximate where the ship could be now?" Mike asked Kara.

"Not with much certainty. Chief Rain and Lt Granderson are sifting through the data as quickly as possible. But the sheer volume of information has made progress slow." Kara said as she moved to the navigator station.

There were maps laid of the region laid out. She picked up a pencil from the desk and drew a large circle. It was not promising or the shining success they were looking for but at least it was something.

"Even so," Kara continued, "based on Vellek's communication with Giorgio's mansion, and with the top speed of a Hydra class destroyer, this is now our area of uncertainty." she told them as she tapped the circle.

"That's at least 250 nautical miles. Even with the helo and the RHIB, we can't cover that much water." Meylan said saying exactly what they were all thinking.

"Giorgio make contact with anyone besides the lab?" Mike asked Kara.

"Yes, Sir but we still need more time to sift through what we have before we can provide pertinent information." she told him as she didn't want to give information that could be a waste of their resources. No way in hell was she going to egg on her face.

"How much time?" Mike asked her, it was nearly midnight.

"I could give you something by 0700 hours, but it would be faster if I could borrow more personnel." Kara offered, Mike looked to Meylan as they both knew time was of the the essence. But they didn't want to compromise the crew or the ship by overworking them any further than they had. They all needed to sleep, looking at Sasha she needed a solid week of it. He didn't bother looking at Tom as the man would've told Kara to take whoever she wanted. But Mike didn't operate that way and he wouldn't start now even if they were desperate.

"You can pull an extra two people from CIC into it, you have until 0500. Whatever you've got by then will have to do. We'll meet in the wardroom." Mike said to her and the others.

"Yes, Sir." Kara said with a nod.

"I'll help her." Sasha said but before she could move Mike spoke.

"No, you'll sleep and that's an order." Mike told her. She looked at him for a long moment before she gave nod accepting his order and left CIC. He really hoped she did as ordered but he wasn't going to check as he had to trust her and frankly he wasn't her father. He looked to Tom and Mike, "What?" he asked.

"Bit of the pot calling the kettle black." Tom remarked in good humour.

"Where did you think I was going." Mike replied in a snarky manner to Tom, he looked to Meylan, "You have the ship." he told him.

* * *

The following morning,

"Did you get any sleep?" Mike asked Sasha as she walked into the wardroom looking a little bleary eyed.

"About four hours, I'm good." She assured him as she sat down with a sigh. Her body ached from her workout but she knew after this meeting she'd go to gym and stretch out the kinks. Right now, she felt functional which was a hell of a lot better than sitting in her pity party for one.

While it took effort to not sink into her pity party it was getting easier to breathe, to feel confident again without it being pretend. The turmoil that churned in her gut since Fletcher left was now a dull ache instead of the intense pain of raw nerves being flayed.

"Better than nothing." Mike conceded.

"Like what you got?" Sasha asked inferring that he got no sleep at all.

"I woke up ten minutes ago. Wouldn't say my sleep was restful, but I doubt any of us will sleep easy until this is all over." Mike told her. "Here." he placed a cup of heavily diluted coffee on the table for her.

"It's barely coffee." Sasha whinged crankily as she looked at the light brown water. She needed real coffee as the only option was Morrocan mint tea. She was not going there. Someone else could enjoy that tea as she was never touching it again.

"Hey, it's better than just water." Mike told her. She wore a wry smile as she felt for Mike. He was going to run out of coffee one day, when that happened; they'd all be in for a ride. She was pretty sure she'd be disappointed if Mike didn't cry.

"To you. No, thanks." She said as she pushed the coffee in his direction as he had already downed his coffee with gusto.

"Your loss." Mike said as he took the coffee and took a sip. Even he made a face as it wasn't enough to give him the fix he wanted but he was such a coffee addict he took what he could. The door opened and Tom stepped in followed by Meylan. "Anything to report?" he asked Meylan.

"Nothing, it was a quiet night." Meylan said as he moved to grab himself some coffee. The kitchen galley wasn't open yet but in an hour Bacon would be up to open it and start cooking for the officers.

"Or quiet before the storm." Tom remarked, he sat down and looked at Sasha. She looked down at the table as she remembered her words to him. Her need for them to be impersonal. She was keeping to it, as she needed to keep things clean and straightforward. She could have a personal life when the mission was over and she had a future to get tied up in knots over her personal life again.

"Right now, I don't care as I need breakfast and a few hours of rack time." Meylan said as he looked at the empty bakery cabinet with longing. It used to be filled every morning with fresh pastries and muffins that served at as snacks during the day for the officers.

"You'll get that after this meeting." Mike promised him, a knock sounded at the door. Tom rose from his chair and opened it to find Kara. She gave him a grateful smile as she stepped into the room with her laptop and maps tucked into her uninjured arm.

"Let me help." Tom said as he took the maps and laptop from her and placed them on the table.

"Thank you Sir." She said, Mike noted how tired she looked but then he had ordered her to pull an all-nighter. So it was to be expected. He'd make sure she had downtime to make up for it as they needed their TAO on top of her game.

"Anything to report?" Mike asked.

"Yes, Sir. Ah, if you don't mind Captain Chandler?" she asked as she reached for a map, Tom took it and unfurled the map onto the table. "Thank you, so we're not finished. It could take weeks if not months to get through it all, but we do know that Giorgio has made at least a dozen calls to the same location over the past few weeks, on land." Kara told him.

"Where?" Mike asked as he and the others stood up the get a better view.

"The island of Kleos." Kara said as she pulled a pencil from her arm sling and made a cross on the map where the island was, Mike looked to Tom.

"Mean anything to you?" he asked, Tom shook his head.

"Giorgio never mentioned it." Tom said.

"Kleos. It was an ancient Lazaretto, a quarantine prison during the Black Death. The Italians reopened it at the height of the Red Flu to try to stop the spreading. Obviously, no one survived." Sasha said as she had read up on majority of the Red Flu history and the immune wars before their search brought them to the Med.

"Land of the dead. Wonderful." Mike remarked drily. He took a deep breath ad exhaled as it only left one question in his mind. "What's Vellek using it for?" he asked Kara.

"Traffic data suggests a relay station, probably to mask communications to and from his ship." Kara said, as it was the only thing that made the most sense. Mike had to agree.

"With Giorgio's mansion compromised, it may be the only way for Vellek to get secure comms." Tom commented.

"We can tap into that satellite signal, use the communications log to find that ship." Meylan suggested as he looked to the others for agreement.

"You'd have to do it from the source, Sir. The island itself." Kara told Meylan.

"Kleos is about a hundred miles from our PIM. We could be there in three hours." Meylan said to Mike as it was clear way to move forward.

"That's away from our area of uncertainty. If it doesn't work, we'll lose Vellek for good." Tom said pointing out the worst case scenario as someone had to.

"But if it does, we'll have a constant feed into his comms in real time. We'll know exactly where he is." Sasha argued in a calm manner. Mike didn't have to mull it over as he knew the bet course was take what they knew in certainty and Kleos was a certainty while the very large circle where Vellek's lab might be was impossible to approach with their current resources.

"Set course for Kleos." Mike told Kara, she gave a nod and moved to the phone on the wall making the phone call. Mike looked to Sasha, "Cooper, assemble a team." he told her, she wore a small smile which Mike was glad to see because even if she was beaten, she was not down and out just yet.

* * *

"Your heart rate is within normal range and BP looks a little low but I think some more salt, get you moving around and start you on liquid supplements should help. How are you feeling?" Rios said as he looked at the past hour of her vitals on the screen of the vital's monitor.

"Tired of being asked that question." Naz told him wryly, she was tired of being so introspective of her physical and emotional well being. She just wanted to exist and not really focus on what she felt. Overall, she was ok, she wasn't sure if it was healthy to feel so ok after everything she'd been through.

Naz had expected some anger or unresolved grief. But it didn't come, she missed her husband but he was gone. He'd been gone for over two years and she had endured her pain and grief long enough. She knew she should be angry about never being able to go home, for what Tom had done to her. But she just felt at peace with it, and it was unsettling but at the same time comforting.

"Humour me." Rios told her.

"I feel strangely content even though I shouldn't." Naz told him.

"Captain Slattery said the same of his experience. I'd say yours will last more than a few hours." Rios said as he hugged her chart to his chest and wore an interested expression. "I would like to take some blood to run some Neurotransmitter tests. The test will measure blood platelet levels of dopamine, noradrenalin, adrenalin, serotonin and acetycholine." he told her, Naz gave a nod as she didn't see anything wrong with it.

"Sure, are you picking up Vellek's torch?" Naz asked wryly, Rios shook his head.

"No, I wonder how Nostos affects the body and what patients like yourself need to recover from addiction. But we'll have that conversation another day." Rios told her, Naz sincerely hoped they didn't before she decided to change the topic.

"Well, besides my inner peace, physically speaking; I'm sore and overwhelming exhausted. I really just want to be unhooked from the machine and IV. So I can move around the place." She told him, she also wanted a little more solitude. She didn't want to complain but the IV was killing her hand and sometimes she would look at the vital's monitor and get vague feelings of motion sickness.

"We can take the IV out but vitals monitor stays on." Rios compromised.

"Ok." She said, she would've argued but instead she just accepted Rios' way as she held out her hand. Rios disappeared into the main room and came back with a tray. He pulled on gloves, he disconnected the IV and gently peeled back the tape. He pulled out the catheter and Naz winced as it hurt. He placed gauze and held it in place for a few minutes to stem the bleeding. Once he was happy, he swapped the gauze for a band aid and left to dispose of tray's contents.

A knock sounded on the wall, she looked up to see Mike at the doorway.

"You keep showing up and people will talk." Naz half joked. She knew it was part of a wildly crazy idea but she could get used to him in her life. She got to, which made her feel strangely blessed as there wasn't something about him that called to her. She knew if he told her it would be ok, she'd believe him without hesitation. She couldn't understand where that loyalty came from, but it existed.

"That's a sad statement on them if they haven't got anything better to talk about." he said with a sly smile as he leaned against the doorway and folded his arms. "I came to ask if you knew anything about Kleos." he said.

"In general or do you want me to be specific to the Velleks? cause Kleos is publicly owned by the Italian Government or was. I'm not sure who claims ownership over it now. I have no idea what kind of value it would have to the Velleks either." Naz told him in earnest. Sadly, she realised in that moment that her time as being a valuable resource was over.

"We think they have a relay station there." he said conversationally.

"Any infrastructure that was built during or after the pandemic, I don't know about. Sorry." She said, he gave nod; not angry or disappointed which was a relief to her as she didn't want to upset him.

"It's ok, just thought I'd ask." He told her.

"Any other questions?" She asked.

"No, you're looking better." He said, she gave a small smile as it felt good to be complimented and to know he wasn't here to drill her for information on Sinclair. She had expected ever since she told Rios but it never came up.

"Thanks, I'm told if I keep recovering I'll lose that 'I nearly died' look that is so chic." she replied, Mike snorted a laugh, "You can go back to work if you want." she told him, she knew he was on duty and so she didn't want him to think he had to hang around her if he had to be somewhere else.

"Nah, I got a few minutes. Mind if I waste them with you?" he asked. Naz pulled her knees up and gestured to the end of the bed.

"Have a seat." she said, glad he was staying even if it was just a short while.

* * *

Three hours later,

"You ok?" Tom asked as people were talking, apparently Mike was spending more time in Medical than they expected. Tom was worried there were complications with his injury that Mike wasn't sharing. But only because he didn't want to believe the rumour that Mike was cosying up Naz. Mike was dedicated to his family and wife. Last time Tom heard; Mike was still searching for his wife and kids. He often wondered if the detectives hired had found the Slatterys or not. But now wasn't the time to ask.

"Fine, Rios changed my dressing. Wanna see it?" Mike asked as he looked ready to lift up his BDU jacket. Tom shook his head as they headed to CIC.

"You're spending a lot of time in medical. I'm worried." Tom told him.

"Nothing to worry when it comes to me. I'm just keeping Naz company." Mike assured him. Tom looked at him with a frown as he wasn't sure he was happy about it. Not that it was his business.

"Just be careful there." Tom warned him.

"I thought we were past that. She gave Rios the name of the Trawler Captain and info on the guy that was ultimately useless given he's dead and there's no use in picking a fight with the UK." Mike told him.

"I apologised for my actions. I wasn't myself." Tom reminded him.

"Yes, hopefully it'll be the last time you use that excuse. Naz is not a problem. She's a person and honestly, I like her company." Mike told him.

"Her situation is in flux." Tom reminded him, Mike gave a shrug playing it cool as he wasn't going to tell Tom his plans or that the more time he spent with Naz, the better he felt about himself. He felt normal. He didn't feel like the Captain that lost everything and kept going with the mission because he had nothing to hold him down. He just felt like Mike the guy who loved and lost like all the survivors of the pandemic. He wasn't special, he had a shared experience and like everyone else wanted to find just a few moments of happiness in the hours of darkness.

"Never hurts to make friends and given she isn't Navy. I'm allowed some latitude in being her equal in a social situation." Mike said casually as he wasn't about to bear his soul in the p-ways.

"If you want to hang out more-" Tom started but Mike cut him off.

"I figured you'd want your spare time to write up battle plans to get on Sasha's good side and woo her." Mike quipped, if he were honest he was worried they would just talk shop talk or about his family. He just wanted to spend his off time blowing off steam.

"Woo her? Geezus." Tom said with a chuckle at the choice of language.

"It's the plan, right?" Mike asked him with a grin.

"There's no plan." Tom confessed.

"Ah, so you're still in the 'scrawling 'Tom + Sasha Forever' in your note book with hearts and stars and fantasising about it' stage." Mike quipped as they neared CIC.

"You know you're being a dick right?" Tom asked him with a wry smile as he'd miss Mike taking the mickey out him. No matter how juvenile it was, he liked and missed it.

"It's what you like best about me." Mike said as he stepped into CIC.

"Captain is in combat." a crewmen announced, Mike smirked as the room sat up a little straighter and focused as he walked into the room. He went straight to Kara who was ready to give him an update.

"RHIB is 15 mikes out. Sir." She informed him.

"Very well. We do this right, Vellek will never even know we were there." Mike said as he looked to the main screen watching the dot that was the tracker in the RHIB travel towards the island.

* * *

Hours later,

Sasha and Azima were perched outside of the lazaretto building. They were waiting for the boys to come out. They had infiltrated the complex pretending to be part of the group of fighters. She couldn't help but fume a little at the 'boys only' comment. But Danny was right, all the fighters in the prison were male, so her and Azima would've stuck out like sore thumbs.

They were on over-watch positions of the main courtyard; left feeling sidelined due to their gender. Nathan James was keeping an eye from further a field. All waiting for the men inside to finish the mission of patching the Nathan James into Vellek's comm channel.

Sasha only wished she could be in there as she preferred being in the thick of it. She hated the lack of comms with the men inside. It was bad enough they had gone off script but they were all out of sight. So Sasha and Azima couldn't cover them even if they wanted to. It also meant they had to wait, luckily Azima's advice had worked as she wasn't restless.

She didn't get anxious to move, she was calm for the first time in many hours; she was solely focused on the mission at hand. There were no creeping thoughts, nagging feelings nothing. Sure, there was a nervous edge but it was something she carried with her when she was in a danger situation.

" _Nathan James, Vulture, this is Cobra_." Burk, spoke over comms, Sasha perked up at the man's voice as it meant visible progress. "We've made it into the control room." he informed them.

" _Copy that, Cobra. We hear you loud and clear. Standing by for uplink._ " Kara replied, Sasha looked to Azima they shared a smile as it meant the boys were successful.

" _Roger. Will advise._ " Burk replied.

"They aren't doing too bad for boys even if they are slow." Azima drawled in amusement before she turned her attention back to her scope. Sasha huffed a quiet laugh as she looked down her scope. Yep, it felt good to let go of her baggage even if it was temporary.

* * *

"How long will it take to tap for them into the satellite signal?" Tom asked Kara as he and Mike stood in the background watching and waiting.

"Depends on the level of encryption. Maybe 20 minutes, if we're lucky. Once Master Chief establishes uplink, the ship can start processing the communications log which will be a snap with our servers." Kara assured him as she kept her focus on her station waiting for Burk and Jeter to give her the access she needed.

"Ok," Tom said, he moved back and folded his arms as he looked at the main screen seeing the trackers for Vulture team. He would've been reassured with the signals all clumped and very little chatter but then the trackers weren't attached to majority of the team. He wished he'd gone with them, but Sasha had picked the team. He hadn't been asked to join, he tried not to take the snub personally as she clearly found his presence a distraction and not the good kind. So he let it go, even if it was hard to be on the sidelines.

" _Nathan James, we've cracked the satellite signal. Sending you its ID and coordinates for uplink._ " Jeter said less than five minutes later.

"We're on it, Cobra. Stand by for confirmation." Mike replied for Kara as she was waiting for the ID and coordinates to be received on their end. A message lit up on her screen and Kara was gone as she was typing away at her station at a manic speed.

"Sir, we have decryption." Kara announced within minutes of working. Tom and Mike moved to look over her shoulder as her screen started displaying the communications logs for the Prison.

"The ship's coordinates." Tom stated.

"Yes, sir." she replied, she pointed to several of the log entries "And these older ones match those from Giorgio's mansion." she told them.

"Gotcha, asshole." Mike said with satisfaction as it was good to have a win. Their risk of losing Vellek by coming to Kleos was paying off.

"Cobra, we have confirmation." Kara said over comms.

 _"Copy that."_  Burk replied.

* * *

"Not good." Azima said as an alarm sounded from the building and gunshots sounded from the interior of the prison.

"Nathan James, we're blown. Request immediate extract." Sasha ordered before she propped her gun onto the ledge again and looked down her scope at the entry way cobra team had disappeared through. Within seconds their guys raced out of the doors, she focused on who was coming after them.

" _Copy that, Vulture. Sunshine's heading your way._ " Kara told them.

She cocked her weapon when the first guard popped out, she put him down and the next guy after that, she heard Azima's weapon firing beside her as the guards scattered to find cover. She and Azima laid down fire , a few more guards that had been brave enough to step out to try and shoot them were killed before they had a chance to fire a single shot in their direction. Once Sasha felt enough distance was made between the guards and Cobra team, she pulled her rifle of the ledge.

"Let's pack it in." She told Azima as they had to rendezvous with Cobra and get them to the LZ for pick up.

* * *

An hour later,

"So Vellek isn't just injecting the fighters with Nostos, he's baking it right into their food." Tom said summarising what they had learnt from the mission. Danny and Sasha debriefed Mike and Tom on what happened during the mission in CIC.

"Just as we theorised." Sasha reminded him.

"Except now it's confirmed." Danny said, he looked clearly shaken by the mission but still maintained his professionalism. From what the 'boys' had said in their debrief, the lazaretto had been a wake up call. They all knew the importance but Vellek's plans had just felt like a concept but apparently seeing the effects in person was terrifying and reiterated how important it was for them to catch Vellek before his plan came into effect.

"He cures the Red Rust, mixes in the Nostos to create food that'll pacify his enemies." Sasha told them in a matter of fact manner. But the situation was chilling.

"It's the perfect weapon. People eating it won't even know." Mike said as he'd hoped they would find that Vellek had an entirely different plan. But no such luck.

"Well, even if they did, what choice would they have? They either eat it or starve." Tom said looking as displeased as the rest of them felt.

"Jesus." Mike cursed under his breath.

"Your work paid off. We narrowed down our search area." Kara said as she tapped the map on the station they were standing at. The circle of uncertainty had shrunk but not by much.

"But now Vellek knows we're coming." Sasha stated as it didn't give them an advantage at all. She could only guess Fletcher was on Vellek's ship overseeing that the UK got their cure. She wished the thoughts of Fletcher would stop sneaking into her mind.

"He always knew." Tom said as he looked down at the map.

"Sir, we're getting an incoming transmission." Chief Rain said from her station. Sasha looked down at the map wondering if they small success today would help them or just lead them into a bigger trap where they would lose the battle completely. She wished there was more certainty, that she felt the confidence Azima exuded when she said she felt their imminent victory in her bones.

"Broadcast the call." Mike ordered.

"Aye, sir." she replied, the speakers in the room crackled for a moment before a familiar voice came over the radio waves.

" _I say again, Nathan James, this is Commander James Fletcher_." Fletcher's voice filled the room, Sasha turned away from the table to listen, she had prepared herself to see Fletcher in the flesh, but hearing his voice over the comms made everything she spent the last day trying to forget rush back at her like a freight train. It made her burn with shame, with fury and sadness.  _"You were right_." James said, he sounded worried and she hated how much she cared that he was concerned.

"Can we triangulate that signal?" Mike asked.

"No, sir. It's coming from satellite; untraceable." Chief Rain said while James continued to speaking as they couldn't reply but he spoke quickly so they would know what was going on.

" _A biological weapon, something to do with behaviour control. I'm not sure exactly how he's planning on using it, but we're in a warship headed to Malta. I say again, we're headed to Malta. You must stop him. You're the only ones who can_." James told them, they all listened. Sasha felt a lump in her throat rise as James was telling them everything they needed to know, she couldn't tell if it was a game or him trying to redeem himself.

" _I know this doesn't make things right. You must believe me, I only did this to serve my country_." there was a pause, Sasha's heart squeezed as one of her suppositions was confirmed. He had his orders, he followed them despite the cost. " _Sasha, I'm so sorry I hurt you_." James said addressing her directly, she took a shaky inhale as she was doing her best not cry in CIC. She could feel everyone watching her. How couldn't they. It was no secret she had been involved with James. Here he was apologising to her on an open channel. " _I hope even if you don't forgive me, that you'll understand. I never meant to hurt -"_

Static filled the room as Fletcher was cut off mid sentence.

"What happened?" Sasha asked, she blinked and kept her eyes wide in the hopes it would stop the tears that threatened to fall.

We lost the signal." Chief Rain told her, she turned back to her station. Sasha felt her heart break anew, James was gone again. It made everything so much worse as she was now a spectacle for the sailors. Her vanity was in tatters but she refused to run out the room crying like a little girl.

Instead she sucked in a breath and turned back to the table and looked down at the map. Her whole body shaking with grief and anger. She had been so close to being back to her old self, now she was starting from scratch again.

"Malta. That sounds about right." Mike said, continuing the meeting as he knew the others would look at him and give Sasha some privacy to pull herself together. "Intel suggests there's an operational airfield there run by the Greek." he said.

"Vellek must have finished his research and found a cure for the Red Rust. It's the only reason, they'd go there, to distribute his cure." Tom said.

"Then we'll meet him there and make it clear what we think of his plan. Dismissed." he said, he watched as Sasha walked calmly as she could muster out of CIC, which was the purpose of him dismissing them all. Because even though they had a lot to do, but they could spare Sasha some time to digest what happened while Mike and the others kept working. He just knew if he didn't dismiss them all, then she wouldn't leave.

Tom and the others stayed at the table clearly understanding the dismiss wasn't directed at them. "We head for Malta. I want anything we got satellite wise for area, try and find the airfield. I don't want us going in completely blind." Mike said to Danny and Kara.

"Aye Sir." Danny and Kara said in unison before they moved back to Kara's station to do as ordered.

"Don't stay down here with your thumb up your ass." Mike said to Tom in a low voice, as he didn't want the crew hearing him.

"Wasn't my plan." Tom assured him.

"Good." Mike told him.

* * *

Sasha stood out on the prow of the Nathan James. The wind wiped her hair around her face, she didn't care as it dried her tears before they could fall. She refused to breakdown, especially this close to a mission and right off the back of another. She had to remain to strong, until they had the seeds and they were on their way home. When it was finished, she would cry out all the ugly emotions she carried in her and her feelings for James and herself. Then pick herself off the floor and move onto the next mission; whatever it would be.

She felt a presence to her left and looked to see Tom, she wished he wasn't here. The man clearly didn't understand that she didn't need him, she certainly didn't want to cry on his shoulder. He was her ex, not her friend and frankly she was more of 'cry into her beer' kind of girl.

"What happened to being impersonal?" Sasha asked calmly as she looked out to the ocean. She was glad she'd had all of 3 minutes to herself to regain control over her emotions. They were now rolling around inside her like a knotted mess but contained.

"I'm standing at a respectful and very impersonal distance from you and I have no pep talk to give." He assured her. She knew he was trying to make her smile, but she couldn't work her facial muscles. They lapsed into a long silence before Sasha couldn't stay quiet.

"You know the guy who caused all our problems may have just solved them. Or maybe this is another trick, he's just playing us." Sasha told him; referring to James. Maybe her earlier assessment of having contained her emotions wasn't true. But she was stating something that could be true. Tom took a deep inhale and exhale as he stared out at the moving ocean.

"Either way, we'll handle it. But my guess is you were always right about him." Tom told her, Sasha wasn't sure how that would make a difference to her.

"Well, if that's the truth, it probably cost him his life." Sasha said, she turned on her feet and walked away from Tom leaving him as she come to the realisation that Azima was right. She couldn't get bent out of shape over things she couldn't change. What was the point given she'd never confront James and all her questions were answered. He'd betrayed her out of allegiance to his country. It had nothing to do with her at all, she could wallow in that or she could make the decision to put it behind her and move forward. She knew what choice to make.


	18. Chapter 18

A few hours later, they all reconvened in the wardroom to discuss possible battle plans now that they had a lead on Vellek and the Greek ships.

"The last transmission to the prison island puts Vellek's ship here 165 nautical miles south of Malta." Meylan said as he, Sasha, Tom and Mike as he placed a toy ship with a blue pin in it. It was obviously the Nathan James as it sat roughly in their current position on the map. He pulled out another ship with a red pin as symbol for Vellek's ship and placed it on the map.

"That means only 70 miles of search area, thanks to Fletcher." Sasha said looking down at the map. She had a fitful nap and a quick run in the gym but it had all helped her fortify herself for what was ahead of them. It still hurt to say Fletcher's name but she managed to keep control of her features and not tear up even if her burns.

"Safe to say Vellek's still travelling with the two warships that pursued us into the storm." Tom added as one of the ships had gone completely dark since the storm. So they took it to believe the storm and rough had swallowed that vessel up for them.

"Agreed. No way they'd leave the flagship unprotected, especially with the seeds on board." Mike said as he wanted to enjoy the small success but there was no point with the uphill battle they had ahead of them. Meylan placed another two ships on the map assuming that they would make a protective formation around the main ship.

"To state the obvious, this could be a trap." Meylan said, saying what they were thinking.

"Fletcher risked his life to make that call." Sasha reminded him, she had a couple hours of sleep and time alone in her bunk looking over what information Kara had decrypted from the up-link to come to terms with what had passed. She still had many unresolved issues and emotions on the subject but she'd found some ground emotionally speaking to bring some calm back to her world.

"But it's also possible they set him up, let him get the message out to lure us to Malta." Meylan said playing devil's advocate as someone had to but Tom made a face not looking convinced.

"The intel he provided adds up with Naz's about airfields in the area. Vellek's gonna need an one to deliver his poison. Malta's got the closest one." Tom said, Sasha couldn't help but be surprised by the lack of sarcasm or suspicion in Tom's tone when he said Naz's name.

"Either way, best we operate on the assumption they know we're coming and they're ready for us." Mike said.

* * *

"Where do you think you're going?" Rios asked Naz, he'd been halfway through giving Azima med supplies she requested when Naz walked slowly across the room. He looked to his laptop wondering why the vital's monitor hadn't alerted him to her getting up and disconnecting herself. But he saw the words 'offline' and remembered the woman was a medic and intelligent to know where an off button was.

"I well enough to know I stink and need a shower." Naz informed him. Rios was about to tell her that he could get her a basin of water and a flannel but Azima spoke first.

"I can take her." Azima offered.

"Are you sure?" Rios asked Azima, he was nervous letting Naz out given her condition. Sure, she looked brighter but it was less than 48 hours ago that she had nearly died for a second time. But he also could see being clean was important to Naz, if it helped her morale to have a shower; then it was worth the risk. Azima was strong enough and sharp to know what she was getting into.

"Command are in meeting to decide our next move. So yes, I have time and if that changes; I will find someone to take over in my absence." she looked from Rios to Naz with a smile. "Come." she said as she moved to Naz's side and wrapped her arm around Naz's as if they were best friends already. She looked to Rios. "Are there clean clothes for her?"

"I-" Rios started but she cut him off with casual grace as it wasn't a big deal.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it." She said, Rios gave a nod and pulled open one of the cabinets and pulled out a small package.

"Ok, just don't forget this. To keep the cast dry." he told Azima, the woman nodded as she took the package and led Naz out of the room.

"Thanks for this." Naz said when they were halfway down the hallway from the Infirmary.

"You're welcome, and to be honest. I was looking for an excuse to meet Captain Slattery's woman." Azima said with a teasing grin. Naz was half tempted to tell she was no man's woman but remembered the plan. It didn't hurt to play along with Azima's assumption.

"I didn't know everyone thought of me that way." she remarked drily.

"They don't but then they do not see what I see." Azima said smugly.

* * *

"Ok, Let's talk options." Mike said as it was time to brainstorm this out and think of options and battle plans.

"I suggest we do a high-speed run to Malta and tuck into the bay. When the Greeks make port, we launch a small boat attack, determine which ship is carrying the seeds and sink the other two." Meylan said as he moved Nathan James ship to Malta on the map.

"There are fishing grounds in this area here that still see a lot of boat traffic. At EMCON, it shouldn't be hard to blend in, get to Malta undetected." Sasha said making Meylan's plan work as it had merit. But Tom shook his head not agreeing.

If she hadn't had a nap earlier, she was sure his attitude would've pissed her off as it was just typical of Tom to go against a plan that wasn't of his making. But right now it was about their best options. She could be petty another time, she was banking on a good drinking session when she was back stateside with Azima and Naz. A lot of alcohol, a good vent followed by some perspective given by her friends would help her adjust her views and digest her pain.

"We'll never beat them to Malta. And if we did, we don't know what kind of assets they have on the ground backing them up. We need to take 'em out at sea." Tom argued.

"A direct confrontation with three warships? We wouldn't survive that battle." Meylan told him.

"Assuming, the ship carrying the seeds will avoid direct confrontation with us. They will use escape and evade tactics while the other two ships makes a shield and attack. So we split 'em up, take 'em out one at a time. " Tom proposed looking to Mike who wore a thoughtful expression. He gave a nod in agreement.

"Ok, we feint. Let 'em know where we are, then we disappear." Mike said.

"When they send in a ship to investigate, we take it out." Tom said.

"Three on one becomes two on one." Mike said liking their odds better.

"While the Nathan James engages the other screening ship, Vulture team could board the flag ship, retrieve the package." Sasha added to the plan, they all lapsed into a moment of silence as they mulled over the details.

"So that's the plan then." Mike said pleased with the rough idea formed in the room. It wasn't perfect but it was enough to get them started.

"We'll need eyes on those ships. I'll get the helo in the air." Meylan said, leaving the room to get the plan rolling.

* * *

"I don't really believe in destiny. But I find it like faith is a hard concept to grasp." Naz said diplomatically before she looked at the clean underwear Azima was letting her borrow. "These are your most boring underwear?" Naz asked sceptically, as she pulled on the black cotton cheeky bottom knickers that had cut outs, followed by a matching wireless cotton bra.

They were loose on her frame but only because she was not as fit or well fed as Azima. The gorgeous woman laughed as she stood outside the shower stall, she turned and stuck her head in to look at Naz. She wore a frown but there was an appreciative look in her eyes.

"They look better on you. Must be your lighter skin as they just look boring on me." she said with a shrug. She held out a clean t-shirt to her, that Naz took with a little too much glee as she had been wearing scrubs. While they weren't uncomfortable, she had to admit she was happy to put on some proper clothes. Soft jersey trumped plain cotton any day.

"They aren't exactly standard issue." Naz said wryly as she pulled on the oversized navy blue T-shirt and it was so comfortable. It good to not be covered in sweat and feeling grotty as the shower washed it away.

"I'm waiting for the day a commanding officer has the balls to point that out." Azima said with a grin. She reached out and touched Naz's hair. "Maybe we could wash this and put a brush through it?" she asked her.

"We've come this far." Naz said, she was more than happy to let Azima wash it as she was flagging on energy to do it herself. Her arm in a cast made it a difficult task. She stepped into the main room. She pulled on the soft yoga pants and followed Azima to the sink.

"Whoa-" Wolf stopped and pulled the door open and looked at the front of the door. "This is the mens room." he informed them.

"It's closer to the infirmary and the hair dryer is better in here." Azima told him, as she and Naz looked at him waiting for him to make up his mind.

"May I?" He asked gesturing to the shower.

"Please, and don't be shy. It's not like we haven't seen a naked man before." Azima said with a sly grin. Wolf snorted a laugh as he closed the door and tossed his toiletries bag onto the ledge above the sink. Azima snatched it up and pulled out his 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner. "I'm using your shampoo." she informed him.

"Knock yourself out." he told her as he slung his towel over the hook outside the shower stall and stepped inside. Clothes piled on the floor as the man whistled and the water started running. Azima motioned For Naz to go to the sink.

* * *

"Another day, another mission." Danny quipped as Burk joined them to help assemble the missiles for their upcoming mission. He like the guys were hitting that fine line between exhaustion and exhilaration. If Danny had his way, they put a good 24 hours between missions but it wasn't a luxury they ever seemed to get.

"Same day, another mission." Burk corrected him in a tired but good mood as he moved past Miller to pick up a tool he needed to put the finishing touches on his missile.

"Hey, saving the world's a full-time job." Miller told them, he had youth on his side as he looked the least tired of the group.

"Where's Wolf and Azima?" Danny asked as the two had been missing for a while.

"There." Miller said jutting a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of Wolf and Azima who'd just stepped into the Helo bay. Danny was envious of Miller's knack of hearing or sensing the approach of people. But it was a skill that had served them all at some point. So he was grateful for it.

"Bout time." Danny said to the couple as they joined the assembly line.

"I've only be gone for fifteen minutes to shower and shave." Wolf said jovially as he moved to help Danny with the missiles.

"I was helping Naz as she needed help washing her hair." Azima told them as she stood at Miller's side and inspected his work.

"She used half my bottle of shampoo." Wolf told the guys, all of them frowned as they connected the dots fairly quickly.

"You said 'Knock yourself out', she has a lot of hair." Azima said with a grin. "What do you need me to do?" she asked Danny as she knew better than to stand around looking pretty.

"We're good here, but if you could head to the armoury and give them a hand." he said.

"On it." Azima said as she left them walking past Sasha and Tom who just walked into the Helo bay.

"As soon as we isolate the seed ship, Vulture team is ready to move." Sasha said to Tom.

"Packing some serious firepower." Tom said looking at the missiles being assembled by Danny and his team not to mention the fire power being strapped to the Helo.

"LAMS are the safest way to cripple that ship without sinking it, and we need those seeds." Sasha told him.

"Sasha, if Fletcher's alive, he's with Vellek. You'll have your chance to get some answers." Tom told her.

"I already have my answers what I want are those seeds." Sasha told him, as she wished he'd pretend that she was ok and stop bringing up James. He had to be dead. She moved to the tables to help Wolf and Danny with getting the LAMs ready.

"So, I heard something interesting in the shower." Wolf said making conversation.

"We talked about this, farting is a natural body function. It's not interesting." Miller quipped, Wolf shook his head at the man.

"What you let rip could be bottled and sold as a biological weapon." Wolf informed Miller, who chuckled and patted his flat stomach.

"Can't help it. It's those protein shakes for breakfast." Miller told him, Wolf shook his head.

"But no, it was not a rumbling of my guts that caught my attention. It was the chatter of two ladies." Wolf said as Miller walked past him to grab some more supplies.

"Why are the women always in our shower?" Danny asked Sasha, he knew there was no point in asking the guys.

"You have better plumbing and hairdryer." Sasha told him with a shrug.

"Well, I overheard that there might be fledgling love sparkles in air-" Wolf started but stopped as he noticed Miller veering off his course to Diaz and Nolan.

"Hey, Nolan." Miller said, they all turned as Miller's tone was one that meant the guy was going to be bad. "You know, if you're still looking for a call sign, I got one for you. Cupid." Miller told her, he smacked Diaz on the ass and grinned, "Cause you shot your arrow" he mimicked shooting an arrow at Diaz "right through Diaz's heart." he said as he continued on his way.

Sasha like the others couldn't help but chuckle at Miller's antics and smile at young love. But Sasha's smile slipped as she felt jaded at the sight of Diaz and Kat's fledgling romance. She turned took a breath and reigned in her emotions before they took control of her.

"Love sparkles?" Danny asked Wolf sceptical of his choice of language, Sasha snorted a laugh as it was too funny seeing two large men discuss 'Love sparkles'.

"Yeah, you know they float around you and your missus but they are fully grown sparkles." Wolf said casually, he leaned in and spoke in a low tone. "I think our newest passenger has a crush on the CO. Azima and her were talking about the CO, apparently he's been visiting her in the infirmary and she sounded really coy about it. Though she did only claim that he was just being 'nice'." he told them.

"Captain Slattery is capable of being 'nice'." Sasha said in amusement as Wolf wasn't a gossip but he was a major romantic at heart and liked to talk like a high school girl when it came to romance.

"Yeah, of course but it's some real preferential treatment for him to be going out of his way for her. She is one good looking bird, I can't see why it wouldn't be a stretch for him to be keen on her." Wolf pointed out.

"No, I guess not." Sasha conceded, but not adding fuel to the fire.

"She saved his life, now he's helping her get her life together. Perfect breeding ground for love sparkles." Wolf said in a matter of fact manner, everyone at the table shook their heads at him.

"You're such a dork." Burk told Wolf.

* * *

Half hour later,

"TAO, picking up something. Bearing 3-1-7. Sounds like prop noise." ASW Wright said from his station, Mike moved from the navigator's station to stand behind the man. CIC was a quiet hum of action as they like everyone else on the ship were waiting for Greeks to strike again.

"Warship?" Mike asked, as it looked like they were about to engage the Greek Navy.

"Hard to tell from this distance, Sir. Loud. Could be north." Wright said as he tried to discern what he was hearing and interpret it for the Captains and Sasha.

"Toward Malta." Kara said indicating what was closest in the reason that could serve as a possible location.

"It's Vellek. Has to be." Sasha stated.

"We're a long way out to be picking up prop noise from a strike group that should be staying quiet." Tom said as he, Meylan and Mike grouped together to discuss options and ideas of what the Greeks had in store them that might divert from their original assumptions.

"Could be from damage they incurred when they chased us into the storm." Meylan offered.

"Still awfully loud." Tom remarked, which was true.

"Do you think it's a ploy to draw us out?" Mike asked Tom.

"I do." Tom said as he moved back to Navigator's station and looked down at their map and the ship pieces they were using to visualise the Greek's movements and the Nathan James.

"I think that's giving them too much credit." Meylan said, he was always thinking simplest explanation made the most sense while Tom looked for what was under the facade of a simple action. He like Mike remembered the underhanded techniques used by previous ships they encountered after the pandemic. The Russians fooling them into a false sense of security with British codes and ID in GITMO. This was no different except that they knew their enemy, their enemy was not toying with before the kill. They were playing for a much bigger win than sinking the Nathan James.

"We'll know more when we get eyes on those ships. Captain Meylan, notify the bridge and get Sunshine that bearing." Mike ordered.

"Roger that." Meylan said as he moved to make the call leaving Tom, Sasha and him to look down at the map. "Sooner or later, we gotta play our hand. Now's as good a time as any." Mike told Tom.

* * *

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Naz asked as she was laying on the main bed eating the small salad the mess had brought down for her lunch with a large cup that apparently had a protein shake in it.

She knew it was impossible for her to walk to mess without dropping with exhaustion, but she did feel guilty for the man taking time out his day to come down. Especially given she felt the vibe in the ship. Something big was going on and the outcome was unknown at this stage as she felt the tension rolling off of Rios.

"Eat and rest. I have this under control." Rios told her as he was prepping med kits and the room in general like he were expecting an influx of injured sailors.

"Something big is going on, I know I'm not allowed to know what it is. But if I can help, I'd like to." Naz said to him. He slowed in what he was doing and looked at her.

"I appreciate the offer, but your body has endured a lot of trauma-"

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I know my limits. I'm not offering to run around the room or perform surgery. But I can help when the time is needed because no offence, but you're understaffed. I may be less than stellar replacement, but I can help triage and look after minor injuries while you take on complex cases."

"We're not there yet. It may not be a problem at all. But if I do get overloaded. I will tap you in." he said somewhat reluctantly.

"Until then, I'll eat and sleep." Naz told him, before she took a bite of her food.

"Thank you." Rios said on both counts, "Drink the whole shake, you need to gain weight." he told her before he went back to the task at hand.

* * *

" _Mother, this is Sunshine transmitting via Hawklink. Do you read_?" Sunshine asked over Comms.

"Loud and clear, Sunshine. Confirming secure point-to-point transmission. Limit all further communication to Hawklink in order to maintain EMCON condition Alpha." Kara informed him.

" _We copy, Mother_." Sunshine said, Mike watched as Kara worked in tangent with Sunshine over the link. A few seconds later a new screen opened showing radar system coming open.

"Passive radar feed coming in from the helo. System is triangulating now." Kara informed him, multiple contacts popped up on radar, they had expected some abandoned boats in the area. It wasn't rare to sail past them as they were remains of the pandemic. But the sheer number on the screen was more than they expected.

"Waters are busy today. Can we get I.D.s?" Mike asked Kara, he wanted to know which ones were active.

"Fishermen." Tom said from behind him, "I've worked these waters." Tom added. Mike took a deep breath and nodded as he looked back to the screen.

" _Nathan James, we got a possible target. Moving in for visual confirmation._ " Sunshine told them over comm.

"We copy, Sunshine. Standing by." Kara replied.

" _Three warships, guns pointed outward. Starboard ship has a big wake. Port ship no wake at all. Center ship, approximately 15 knots_." Kat reported over Comms, Mike, Meylan and Tom moved back to the navigator's table. Meylan moved the greek ship pieces.

"Based on the wake of those ships, they're doing this patrolling their quadrants, protecting the middle ship." he said as he demonstrated with the toy ships.

"Classic NATO formation when travelling with a high value asset." Sasha stated.

"The seeds are on that middle ship." Meylan said.

"Checks out." Mike said as it made sense. Not wanting waste time Meylan continued.

"We need to move forward as planned. Call back our helo, light up the radar, and draw the first ship out." Meylan told them.

"I still think it's a setup. It's too perfect, exactly what we'd expect. Maybe that third ship wasn't lost in the storm. They are using it as a decoy, making us believe it's Vellek's ship." Tom pointed out, he hated being the naysayer of the group but it just didn't sit well with him. Meylan looked at him incredulously.

"So the fact that nothing's suspicious, makes it suspicious?" Meylan asked him.

"They made a lot of noise to draw us here. I'm going with my gut, Mike." Tom said looking to his friend. He didn't bother to address Meylan as Mike was Captain of the Nathan James which made it his call. "We light up, it won't be one ship coming after us, it'll be all three." Tom told him,

"You're going off the assumption that the Greeks still have four ships. They could've easily lost one in the storm. The ship in the middle is carrying the seeds. It makes the most sense at the moment." Meylan stated as his version was just as logical as Tom.

"How do we prove it either way?" Sasha asked them, she didn't want the conversation to dissolve as the situation they were in was in flux and she didn't want to waste time debating who was right and who was wrong. Mike looked thoughtful for a long moment.

"Kennedy manoeuvre." Mike told her, Sasha frowned as it took a moment for her memory to kick out the information she needed.

"Kennedy manoeuvre." Tom said in appreciation as he hadn't even gotten that far ahead. But he liked Mike's thinking.

"As in John F?" Meylan asked in confusion.

"As in Chris Kennedy, call sign Talent. Warfare Tactics Instructor." Tom told him, Mike grinned as he felt good about the manoeuvre and that he was finally going to be able to use it.

"I remember her." Sasha said as the woman's name rang a bell.

"Heard she was still alive." Mike said to the table.

"She survived? No way." Tom said with a grin as that was good piece of news.

"Yeah, on a sub." Mike said with a grin, as Chris Kennedy was the stuff of legends and from what he heard she was also good value at a party.

"How the hell-?" Tom started to ask when Meylan cut him off.

"That's great." Meylan remarked drily as he interrupted the fangirling that was happening around, "You guys wanna tell me about her manoeuvre?" Meylan asked them.

"Right," Mike said, he described the manoeuvre to Meylan in brief terms while Tom moved to Kara to get her to relay the orders to Sunshine. Once he finished, Meylan looked at him like he had a screw loose and Mike didn't blame him because it was a high risk manoeuvre but if done perfectly, they'd learn more than they did before and hopefully not lose their bird. "With me?" he asked Meylan.

"Not comfortable with the risks, but we don't have a choice." Meylan said, they moved to stand behind Kara as Sunshine confirmed he received the orders.

" _Copy that, Mother. Nose is hot_." Came over the comms.

"The greek vessels should see them now." Kara informed them. "Sunshine, ready a hellfire, aim 2 degrees off the port bow of the center ship." she ordered.

" _Roger, Mother. We're going in fangs out_." he replied and few seconds later he informed them of missile being fired. They all watched the screen taking note as the missile shot towards the middle ship in a deliberate miss. But the Greeks didn't know that.

"Well look at that." Mike remarked as the ships broke formation in a surprising and informative manner but not before they fired a missile at the Helo. They all watched as it looked like the Helo would be toast but then helo and Missile's courses diverged.

"Sunshine's clear." Kara announced, Mike blew out a quick breath as he and the other men moved back to the table.

"The high value ship should've fallen back, let the other ships protect it. Instead, it broke formation to engage the helo." Tom said as he moved the ships showing the pattern of movements they had made during the manoeuvre.

"Which means that ain't no high value ship. My compliments to Commander Kennedy." Meylan conceded with grace.

"Which means the seeds are not on any of those ships and we're back to four ships. Is it possible they could already be in Malta?" Sasha asked them.

"No way he got there so fast from his last known coordinates. Vellek's still at sea." Tom assured her.

"Smart move would be to keep the other three ships between it and the Nathan James." Mike said as he looked over the map and their current positions.

"If they assumed we'd close from the east, we'll find Vellek's ship somewhere here." Tom said as he drew a circle on the map and tapped it as to where he thought the fourth vessel could be. "Out of sight, but still in missile range of those ships." he said.

"I concur." Mike said in agreement, he turned in Kara's direction, "Green, I need you in command on the bridge. Get us close to that fourth ship." he ordered.

"Aye, sir." Kara said as she took of her headset and heading out of CIC.

"Pretty soon, we're gonna have three ships on our asses. Start pitching." Mike told Tom, Meylan and Sasha.

"They gotta figure we're headed west for the seed ship, and they know we won't find it without firing up our radar, at least in short bursts." Meylan said speaking first.

"So?" Mike asked as clearly Meylan had more to share.

"Maybe that's exactly what we should do." Meylan said.

"What do you have in mind?" Tom asked.

"The Meylan manoeuvre." he replied smugly.

* * *

Less than ten minutes later, Sasha was incredibly impressed with Meylan's thinking on the fly. She and Meylan stood with the team in the Helo bay with a table set up with a map to brief them.

She didn't know why but for the first time in a while, she felt they were heading for a win. She felt it in her bones that this plan would be brutal but most importantly it would work. She felt a strange calm wash over her as she stood next to Meylan as he spoke to the group. As it was like all the pieces were coming together. They just had to keep them together when they got to the critical stage.

"Green, Taylor, Kandie, your objective is to pull all three warships out of weapons range of the fourth." he said, he marked the map showing the team what the play was.

"That means here, anything more than 30 miles away from where we believe the target ship to be located." Sasha informed them as she marked an 'x' on the map where they believed Vellek's ship with the seeds on it would be.

"Assets in the area?" Danny asked.

"Fishing boats. Some in use, others abandoned." She told him.

"Any vessel over 60 feet is gonna have the same radar signature as Nathan James. Find one, make the Greeks believe it's us." Meylan told them.

"Draw them towards you, but then get the hell out of there." Sasha added as she didn't want to lose any of them.

"You can reach us by encrypted radio, but we won't be able to respond without compromising our position, so you're on your own." he told them, looking at each member of the team making sure they understood the situation clearly.

"Miller, Burk, while Green is keeping the three screening ships busy, Nathan James is gonna find that flag ship. And when they do, we need to be ready to board that vessel." Sasha told them.

"Yes, ma'am." Miller replied.

"Roger that." Burk said with an easy confidence as they understood their part in the plan.

"Ok, get geared up, you leave in less than ten mikes. Dismissed." Meylan told them, Sasha looked at them all and gave a nod; a silent signal of her telling them good luck as she didn't want to jinx it with saying the words out loud. She just hoped they all came back alive with stories share.

* * *

Half an hour later, all three men stood at the main screen watching radar. Green's team had turned been turning radar on and off waiting for the Greeks to catch on. Green's radar signal blinked off, this time the Greek vessels changed course.

"All three contacts altering course." Meylan said.

"They took the bait." Mike said, as the game was now moving along. They just had to keep momentum and hit their targets.

"Sunshine, this is Mother requesting a sitrep. Any sign of Vellek's ship?" Sasha asked as she remained at the navigator's station ready to mark off quadrants on the search pattern she had devised on the map as Sunshine called them as empty.

" _Roger, Mother. Search grid zone Alpha one, negative contact_." Sunshine replied over comms.

"Alpha one, zero contact." Sasha repeated, she moved the toy ship to the next quadrant and drew lines across the box that revealed nothing. It was one area down and only nine to go. If they were lucky, they'd get those seeds back in their hands in the next twenty four hours. "Keep us updated." She told him,

Mike looked over her shoulder and picked up the phone receiver and contacted the bridge. "Bridge, Captain. Helo's moved Bravo one, change course 2-9-0." He ordered, once Kara replied acknowledging his orders, he hung up the phone and moved back to the middle of CIC where he keep an eye on proceedings.

"Sir? All three contacts are converging." Nishioka told Mike, he and Tom watched as the three signals they identified as the Greeks formed into one.

"Those ships must be within a couple hundred yards of each other." Tom murmured as he wore a frown. They had anticipated the three ships splitting up, two going after the dummy signal while one stayed to cover the fourth ship.

"Keep an eye on 'em." Mike told Nishioka, as he had a bad feeling they were in for a nasty surprise.

"Aye, sir." Nishioka replied as he kept his eyes on the screen.

"Nathan James, Vulture team. Be advised solo enemy warship heading east. No other contacts in the area." Danny said breaking radio silence to contact them. Mike wasn't surprised by the dirty trip but he felt he should've anticipated it.

"The other two ships dropped to EMCON when the emitters merged." Tom said.

"Which allowed them to peel off undetected." Mike said as he moved to pick up the phone and call bridge.

"They're hunting us again." Sasha said.

"Only this time, we won't see 'em coming." Mike said before he spoke into the phone receiver "Bridge, Captain. Get watch standers to all radar stations, lookouts to the rails." He ordered.

"Nathan James, Vulture team. We're gonna hang out for a bit, make your life a little easier. Give you one less warship to worry about." Danny called over comms.

"They have enough explosives to sink that ship. They'll get it done." Sasha said with confidence. Mike couldn't agree more as he hung up the phone. Now they had the hard task of waiting for it happen. He just hoped the team got away clean with minimal injuries.

He moved over to ASW Wright's station and looked down at the man. "You hear anything?" he asked the man. Wright was in deep concentration as he listened to his headset and looked at the screen. He just shook his head.

"I'm not hearing anything to suggest they are close by." Wright said, Mike gave a huff as he hated the cat and mouse game.

"But they could have shut off their engines and be drifting with the currents." Tom said, from where he stood with Sasha. He looked at the map on the table at the search area that was getting smaller.

"Still nothing on radar. Sir." Nishioka reported as he anticipated what Mike was going to ask.


	19. Chapter 19

"Understood Ma'am." Rios said as he hung up the phone on the wall of the Infirmary. Alarms had sounded on the ship and a red light was flashing in the corner of the room.

"News?" Naz asked him, she really wished she was in on the loop or had something to do. It was unnerving to be conscious of trouble and not be able to be useful.

"Besides Master Chief disobeying my medical advice? No, I'm on standby but it means nothing as that's my S.O.P." Rios told her, casually. He moved around the room busying himself. Naz laid back on the bed and closed her eyes as she didn't have anything to do other than rest.

* * *

"I'm picking up explosions in the water, Sir. Metal shearing. And I have secondaries." ASW Wright announced with elation as Green's team scuttled the first Greek vessel.

"One down." Tom said to Mike, he gave a nod even though it was a success; they didn't know what their losses were yet. They couldn't even call out to Green's team for a sitrep without giving away their position. He just hoped they called in soon.

"It's a start-" Mike started to say with Nioshioka shouted out from his station.

"Bulldog, bearing 3-1-5!" He announced loudly, Mike looked at the main screen and saw the missile in question impact into another radar signal. It blinked out on the screen but another radar signal had popped as the source of missile fire.

" _Nathan James, Vulture Team. Be advised, small fishing vessel just destroyed by surface-to-surface missile. No way anyone survived_." Green advised them over comms. Mike felt better for team checking in but his gut churned for the destroyed ship as the missile had been meant for Vulture Team.

"I have the coordinates on the Greek ship that fired." Nishioka said.

 _"CIC, Bridge. There's a broadcast coming in over VHF._ " Kara said over internal comm of CIC, Mike picked up the phone to answer.

Put it through." he told her, the speakers crackled and a familiar female voice spoke over the waves.

" _You know where I am, but you're afraid to come out of hiding_." Lucia drawled, daring them to come out. She was clearly pissed off. " _I'm giving you a chance for a fair fight. Consider this a warning. Show your face, or I will continue killing civilians at random_." She promised them darkly, " _And nobody hates putting innocent people in harm's way more than the U.S. Navy. Except for maybe Nobody himself_." she added in a dark sarcastic manner. She was more than angry and held a clear grudge for Tom. She was right even if she was a crazy bitch.

Mike watched Tom's reaction, he had to wonder what the hell Tom did to her to make her so vindictive.

" _Five minutes, Captain Chandler_." She told Tom in an ice cold tone. The line crackled dead as Lucia was done talking. What surprised Mike was that Tom hadn't responded to Lucia instead he stood there in quiet shock.

"There's gotta be a dozen more fishing boats out there." Mike said to Tom. They couldn't take the risk of exposing themselves but they also couldn't take the risk that some of those boats out there weren't abandoned. Tom looked like he was locked in his own thoughts.

"Options." Mike said, looking to Meylan and Sasha as he thought over how they should proceed as they only had five more minutes.

"Sunshine still doesn't have a visual on Vellek yet." Sasha said as she shaded out the top row of the search grid. There were still six more boxes in the grid to go.

"But we have coordinates on Lucia. We should break EMCON, take her out." Meylan said putting the only option that was really available to them.

"There's still a third ship out there. We light up, they see us, it blindsides us." Mike reminded him.

"What choice do we have?" Meylan asked incredulously. "We either fire on her or fire to protect the fishing boats. In three minutes, we're made either way." he reminded them. It was the glaring truth of the situation. Mike looked to Tom, but he wasn't helpful as he looked like he was deep in thought about how his ex-girlfriend or whatever Lucia had been; was about to sink them with ease.

" _We have Contact, 4 o'clock! Smoke spotted. It's Vellek's ship._ " Sunshine said interrupting their conversation of 'We're screwed, and how to get out of this with our asses intact'.

"Roger, Sunshine. Track him, but keep your distance. We'll back you up as soon as we can." Sasha replied, she looked to the men as the clock was ticking. She glared at Tom, he seemed to sense her and snap out his stupor and spoke.

"Lucia won't take us on unless that third ship is close by. My guess it's hiding among those fishing boats." Tom said to them.

"There's three vessels in range." Meylan said, they looked to the main screen that had radar on it.

"Chief, can you hull tech 'em?" Mike asked Nishioka, he hoped they could narrow down which was the Greek vessel and save on their ammunition by targeting one vessel and limit collateral damage.

"Checking." he replied and after a few keystrokes, he shook his head. "Negative, sir." he replied.

"We can't fire until we know who they are." Meylan said stating the obvious.

"We can if we use torpedoes. Set 'em to low-depth, fire on all three vessels. If they're fishing boats, the torpedoes'll cruise right under 'em." Tom suggested.

"If they're a warship, they go boom." Mike said as he liked the plan and they didn't have much to lose except two torpedoes that they would be wasting. But it better the wastage then their deaths. "ASW, ready three torpedoes, 30-foot ceiling." he ordered.

"Aye, Sir. Torpedoes ready." Wright informed him.

"Batteries release." Mike ordered, they watched the screen as the torpedoes left their position, the red arrows moving towards their target. Mike hoped to hell that one was hit and they got it right. Within seconds the first two torpedoes sailed past their target, the third was a strike.

Mike smiled as Wright confirmed the initial explosion followed by the secondaries, the ship was sunk. But their victory was short lived as alarms blared and red lights flashed on.

"Vampire, vampire, vampire! Missile inbound! Target is Nathan James!" Nioshioka said over the noise as CIC buzzed with activity and conversation.

"Break EMCON. Set SPY to high power." Mike said, they position was blown by firing the torpedoes so there was no point in hiding any longer.

"Target fire solution." Nioshioka told Mike.

"Kill it." Mike ordered.

"Surface, aye. Engaging with birds." Nishioka said.

Sasha watched the screen intently that she almost missed Sunshine checking in. She turned her back to the distraction of the room and focused on her task.

"Sunshine, this is Mother. Please say again." Sasha ordered.

" _Mo... Sun..hine. We..._ " Crackled over through her headset but over the hive noise of the room and activity of the crew protecting the Ship. Her spine straightened as it felt like fear trickled down her back like ice cold water. She gripped the headset to her head, hoping she could hear what was being said.

 _"We're..., grid... two. Hi... play_."

"Sunshine, this is Mother. Please say again. Your last was garbled." Sasha ordered, all she had heard were a few words but most of the noise sounded like engine failure. "Sunshine, I repeat. This is Mother, your last transmission was garbled. Say again." she prompted, hoping to get a response but all she got was radio static, she stared down at the grid pattern on the table. She waited for a reply, but the reality was Sunshine was gone. She turned and looked her shoulder at Mike, he sensed her trouble.

"We just lost Hawklink." Sasha told him, she looked down at the map and circled what was left of the grids in two sections and placed a cross on Charlie two as the last grid the Helo had been in. When they could, they'd send out a search party and hope they find survivors. But the fact they went down in that area meant they had found the ship.

"Bulldogs inbound, track 61, 62." Nioshioka announced as more missiles were coming towards the ship.

"Kill all inbound threats. Ready Salvo two and re-engage." Mike ordered.

"Aye, Sir." Nishioka responded. Mike breathed a momentary sigh of relief as both missiles were taken out before they hit the Nathan James but it had been close. The ones they'd sent Lucia's way had sadly been destroyed before they reached their target. Mike wished for once it'd be an easy win, but no such luck.

"We're eight birds from empty, Sir." Nishioka told him.

"We can't fight them to a draw." Tom told him, because if they did, they'd leave themselves open for the fourth ship to come and finish them off.

"Then we have to fight smarter. Ready two Bulldogs, launch chaff, target Bravo from port and starboard." Mike ordered.

"Yes, Sir. Engaging." Nishioka said, Mike watched the screen as this was their only chance to get it right. He waited for the first two missiles heading their way to the Greek warship. He ordered a third missile to be fired, and leaned forward to Nishioka.

"Drive it home, Chief, right down the middle." Mike ordered.

"Yes, Sir." Nioshioka acknowledged. Mike looked at the radar screen and hoped to God that they got it right this time as there was no way the Greeks could take down three missiles at once. The first two missiles were predictably taken out but the third struck gold.

"Direct hit, Sir. Lucia's ship is smokin' and sinkin'." Wright announced from his station.

"Opa." Mike said with glee as he clapped his hands together. Three Ships were down and now it was time track Vellek's ass down and finish this; once and for all.

"And our helo?" Tom asked, Mike looked over to Sasha for confirmation as he knew the Helo was in trouble but hoped maybe they got lucky. But the sense of victory he had faded fast as she shook her head.

"Call back Vulture and Cobra teams to the ship." Mike told Meylan, he moved to Sasha's station and looked down at the map. "Where do we start?" he asked her.

"Charlie two." She said pointing to the square on the grid. "They had to have engaged the ship and were shot down." she said vainly trying to keep her disappointment and despondency in check.

"We'll start there, I want you direct the search party, organise Rios to join them." he told her, knowing the order would get her away from the table for just a short time to get her head back in the game. She gave a nod as she took off her headset and did as she was told.

* * *

"You know, your bedside manner could use some work." Wolf told Naz, he winced at the penlight she flashed in his eyes. She normally wouldn't be playing 'Doctor' but Rios had been tapped for a search ad rescue while Wolf was being a pain in the backside with his injuries.

"You're the Larrikan who refused to walk the half a dozen steps to the infirmary." Naz told him as she was checking his checking his pupils. The man put up a stink and literally stank as he sat on a table in the Helo bay while Azima was removing their gear for the armoury personnel to pack away.

"It's a bit further than that. I think you enjoy blinding me with that pen light." Wolf told her, Naz gave a small smile as he wasn't completely and snapped off the penlight pocketing.

"You have a minor concussion and need a few stitches to your hair line." She surmised as she lifted the gauze at his hair line taking in the bad gash. "But gauze will do for now." she told him, with her broken arm in a cast; the best she could do was assess his injuries and instruct Azima or one of Wolf's team mates to patch him up.

"How about we reassess that diagnosis and use a bit of superglue." Wolf bargained, he clearly thought she had the power to bench him from the fight.

"Rios has to make the final judgement call. I also don't have superglue but we can use butterfly stitches to hold it together until Rios gets back but it's not a long term solution. And they would be in the infirmary." She told him with a smarmy grin, Wolf made a face.

"Here's the thing, I don't want to be benched. Not this close to the finish line. Concussion will bench me." Wolf said, Naz wasn't entirely sure what was happening only that things were not going well given the grim looks on people's faces.

"You lost consciousness and bleed like a stuck pig." Azima reminded Wolf as she walked over to the table to join them. She folded her arms and looked concerned for the man but also determined to make him behave.

"I fainted from lack of food and the excitement. Nothing a bit of grub can't fix." Wolf corrected and assured Azima and Naz at the same time.

"Blood loss?" Azima asked as he hadn't clarified how he was going to 'fix' that. She folded her arms, daring him to come up with another terrible explanation.

"I've been taking aspirin for a headache that thinned my blood. I'll be fine, I'm hydrating." Wolf told her as he held up his bottle of water.

"You should drink electrolytes. Doctor Rios has some in the infirmary along with those butterfly clips." Naz told him.

"You know, you should be on my side as we Aussies gotta stick together around all these yanks." Wolf told her, Naz snorted a laugh.

"I'm Kenyan." Azima reminded him darkly.

"If you think I have sway here then your concussion is worse than I thought." Naz informed him with amusement as she packed up used gauze into a small biohazard bag and then pulled off the surgical glove from her left hand; stuffing them into the bag. She looked to the man who wore a hopeful smile. "How about this, you go take a shower. Yeturn to the Infirmary and wait for Rios. He'll like that you got some rest and stuck around for him the check you out, following protocol and all that jazz." She drawled, Wolf made a face.

"Ok." Wolf said not happy but complying.

"I will help you shower." Azima assured him, Wolf's eyes lit up and a salacious smile played on his lips.

"Will you now?" Wolf drawled. Azima rolled her eyes before shooting Naz a knowing look. She pushed Wolf to move off the table.

"Don't even think of doing funny business with me, as I don't want you to faint from over excitement." Azima told him with a chuckle as she kept him moving out the Helo bay. Naz huffed a laugh and sat on the edge of the exact same table, taking a breather for herself. She might be able but her body wasn't always willing at the moment to let her do too much.

* * *

"We sank three ships today. The most important one's still out there." Tom said as he sat on the edge of the wardroom table and looked down at the map. Sasha stood to the side of her room with her hand covering her eyes.

She was beyond tired. While they had sunk the three ships, they had lost their helo and two crew members, they had expended nearly all of their resources. While they had taken out one threat, they still didn't have the seeds in hand or Vellek in custody. She was tired of waiting to do something, tired of working so hard and losing too much in the fallout.

"This is our new area of uncertainty." Meylan said as he picked up the pencil and drew a circle on the map. Sasha's stomach clench in nausea as it truly never ended. It was making her sick just thinking they would keep drawing damn circles on the map and have nothing to show for it. "Vellek could be anywhere in this zone." he told them.

"With the helo gone and the fuel we have left, it's gonna be tough to narrow it down." Kara said being as diplomatic as she could but even she saw the mission was now a crapshoot with the only end being when they ran out of resources and Vellek made peace loving zombies of them all.

"We can't even be sure that Vellek is still on his way to Malta." Sasha said as she dropped her hand away from her face; trying not to let her despondency show as she was trying to find some light at the end of the tunnel to follow. But they had no leads to follow only supposition.

"We've got our work cut out for us. We've done it before. Beaten the odds and come out the other side with what we were looking. We will do it again." Mike told them, he didn't know how to motivate them further than that as he was struggling to see the light on this one. "We will not be beaten by this. So, let's get started." he told them, Meylan and Kara nodded and followed him as he left the room. They weren't ready to give up yet, Sasha envied their fortitude but knew they were where she wanted to be.

"This goddamned game. I can see now why you left." She said completely fed up to Tom. She left the room before Tom could get a chance to say a word. She didn't want to know his response as she had to refocus on her goals. Get the seeds.

* * *

"How you holding up?" Rios asked as he checked Naz's blood pressure with a pressure cuff. He decided given her last two ECG's were normal, there was no point in keeping her tied to a vitals' monitor. He was tempted to let her return to her quarters but he figured one more night in the Infirmary wouldn't hurt her or his due diligence in her care.

"I'm good, I slept nearly the whole day away while everyone was at war. Not sure what that says about me." She told him wryly. She had managed to piece enough of the details from people around her to know what was going on.

"That you needed the sleep and nothing more. I also appreciate you sending Taylor my way to be cleared even if it was unnecessary." He said as he deflated the cuff around her arm and took it off.

"You sign off on him?" She asked out of curiosity, she didn't care if he didn't agree with her assessment of the man's state because at the end of the day. She wasn't in charge of Wolf's care nor did she have to fill out paperwork on it.

"He'll see me in the morning and we'll reassess his condition but for now he's benched. I'm sure after a goodnight's rest; he'll be in a better mood and depending on what is happening and if he's needed. I may have to sign off on him." He told her with a wry smile.

"It's a tough call to make." She said in agreement. Rios nodded as wrote down notes on her chart for his record.

"Your vitals are within normal range." He said pleased.

"So, I'm good?" she asked in amusement as she had told him as much before but he hadn't taken her word for it.

"Yes, and you'll be here for one more night before I release you." He informed her.

"Ok." Naz said in a blase manner as she knew in her former life she would've bitched about it until the doctors preferred her out of their infirmary but nowadays she was pliable.

"Now, I have to step out to grab more supplies, might be a good 15 minutes, if you need help; pick up the phone and call the Bridge. They'll page me." Rios told her.

"Got it." Naz said, she laid back and Rios left her. She listen to his rustle around the main infirmary before leaving. She closed her eyes and listened to the hum of the ship engines and the air con. But just as she was about to drift off she heard the girl crying in the other room. She felt she should stay out of it but it was too painful to lay there and listen. She couldn't shut out the young woman's pain. She rose from her bed and moved into the main room. The young woman was curled on her side in the foetal position doing her best not to cry and failing. Naz knew how that felt.

She moved to the open infirmary door and looked outside. No one was in the hallway, so she closed the door. The young woman didn't move. "I'm just going to lean here, no one will come inside. So you just let yourself feel. It's ok to cry, hell, it's the best thing you can do for yourself right now. Just acknowledge the pain, if you don't it will eat you alive and it's the last thing anyone wants for you." Naz told her as she purposefully stared at the wall on the other side of the room. She hated intruding in on the young woman's grief

Silence fell over the room, before the young woman cried; truly cried like her heart was shattered into a million fragments. Naz dropped her head back against the door, letting her own tears, slip down the sides of her face. She took calming breaths to control herself as her heart thumped a little fast in her chest. She couldn't stand her pain, the pain of others was near unbearable. But she would survive as would the young woman.

* * *

The following morning,

Sasha, Mike, Tom and Meylan reconvened in the wardroom, they stood in front of a map pinned to a board of the Med.

"There are active ports in Syracuse and Tripoli." Meylan said circling the locations with a laser pointer as they tried to nut out Vellek's plan; so they could chase the asshole down. Mike seriously hoped they got him this time as he wasn't sure how he was going to the crew together and motivated when everything was falling apart at the seams.

He also knew that he was burning out, he had wanted to see Naz last night but when he stopped by she had been sleeping and seeing Kat laid up in the main area tore at him. He didn't know what to say to her as saying 'Buck up, we'll get the bastards who did this' just didn't seem like the right thing to say. Luckily for him, the young woman was asleep. So he left her in Master Chief's care as it was the man's job to rally the NCOs when they were in crisis.

"Benghazi, if he's got the fuel." Sasha offered, Mike looked to her and frankly was in awe as she looked like she hadn't slept much and was on the edge of burning out. Yet here she was, making an effort and not giving up when she had more reasons than the rest of them to just walk away. It was probably why he admired her, it never was her mission but she joined them because of Tom. When Tom left, she still stayed with them. That was the kind of loyalty that couldn't be bought.

"Vellek's not a runner." Tom stated.

"The Greek convoy's rusting at the bottom of the Med. He can't stay put either." Mike said, he felt that Naz would disagree with that assessment Tom made but Mike purposefully kept her on the outside as he wanted her to recover and pulling her into now could deteriorate her condition. There was also the unresolved bad blood between her and Tom which made putting the two in a room together unpredictable. Last thing he needed was the two of them being a time suck and dragging morale down.

"With a helo, he can get at least some of his product to just about anywhere in this area." Meylan said gesturing to a large area that they couldn't begin to cover, "If it's planes he's meeting, we'll need to focus on airfields." Meylan finished before a knock sounded on the door.

"Come in." Mike called out, the door opened and Granderson stepped in.

"Sir, we have a Navy Blue from Commander Garnett." She said as she handed him the file. Mike took the blue file and opened it up. "That crazy son of a bitch." Mike said as he couldn't believe the balls on Vellek as he read the intel Garnett had provided.

"What?" Sasha asked.

"Haifa Aegis Ashore picked up three planes inbound, headed for an airfield in Mdina." Mike shared with them as he dropped the folder onto the table. Tom shook his head while Sasha wore a wry smile.

"Malta." Tom said in disbelief, "He knows we're coming for him, and he's still going to Malta." Tom said as he shook his head.

"It should make it easier for us." Sasha remarked drily.

* * *

Sasha walked into her quarters and closed the door behind her. She sighed as she kicked off her boots as she needed just ten minutes to get herself together before she rejoined the others.

"Hey." Naz said, Sasha near jumped out of her skin as she had not noticed Naz up on the top bunk.

"Oh Geezus, you scared me." Sasha cursed.

"Long time no see." Naz said as she looked down at Sasha.

"You're looking better." Sasha told her, the woman did. Her hair was clean and somehow found a hair brush. She was still pale and her eyes were sunken from being malnourished but she looked miles better than she had the last time Sasha had seen her.

"I feel better. Still a hot mess, but I got released back into the wild today." Naz told her, Sasha's lips quirked into a faint smile. She liked Naz's sense of humour as it never failed to lighten her mood.

"That's good." Sasha said as she sat on the bed and sighed as she felt like she weighed an extra 100 kilos that was dragging her down. But she had to get changed and head back to CIC to start planning the mission.

"You ok?" Naz asked, she dropped from the top bunk and sat on the bottom bunk next to her.

"Ask me when this is all over." Sasha told her as she scrubbed her face with her hands.

"Sure thing," Naz said in a tone that made Sasha relaxed as it was clear Naz understood exactly what she was going through, a beat passed before she spoke again, "So, is it me or does the vanilla protein shakes taste like ass?" Naz asked her.

"Ah, yeah. It's terrible. I'd go banana or Chocolate. Strawberry is average." Sasha told her before she gave a small bubble of laughter as she had not expected such a question. Part of her wanted to remind Naz that there were bigger things to care about beyond Protein shake flavours. But she left it alone as she frankly prefer to talk about it than what was going to happen in the next few hours.

"Oh, that's a relief. I was worried that my taste buds were ruined." Naz said conversationally.

"Can I ask you a question?" Sasha asked her.

"Shoot." Naz told her.

"How do you do it?" Sasha asked her. She wanted to know how Naz got through her darkest days. She wanted to know how Naz survived by just a thread and managed to keep going instead of curling into a ball and crying.

"Do what?" Naz asked her.

"Keep going. You were displaced by the pandemic, you lost your husband, you fought in a war you didn't want to be in and ended up stranded in Europe with no way of getting home." Sasha said, she tried to be delicate but failed miserably, "You say you were too weak to pull the trigger. But it had to be more than that." she said, a little desperate to know what the trick was as Naz was in essence like her. They both lost everything, they had nothing to hold on.

"I can't say really. Maybe I was punishing myself for surviving, for being immune. Maybe, I thought being a medic; I could save people because I couldn't save Elias. Maybe, it's in my nature that I can't quit. Or maybe, I just I keep waking up everyday and just going through the motions. I don't know, nothing really sticks out." Naz said honestly, while it wasn't helpful for Sasha, it did help to know she wasn't the only one lost and tired.

"Now you're sober." Sasha stated, she wondered if she regretted the hard yards of her recovery so far.

"I had a lot of time after the war to make peace with those years and Elias' death. Nostos may have let me hide but it didn't stop me from thinking about it all. I won't say I don't have moments where I wish I did things differently but I have accepted that I can't change the past. I've endured enough hell to know that it's time to move on." Naz told her, she wiped the tears from her face. "I honestly don't want to be miserable anymore. I've paid my dues." she added.

"I'm struggling with this mission, with Tom being back. Fletcher, all of it. I used to be so removed from my work. I had my work life and then I had my personal life. They are now, all mixed up and messy. I'm fed up of failing, tired of losing people." Sasha confided in her.

"Wolf told me yesterday that you guys are so close to finish line. Is it true?" Naz asked her, Sasha half shrugged as she didn't really know. She thought she did, but right now everything felt outside of her control and expectations.

"It looks like it, but I'm not confident we'll be successful. We have limited resources and time. If we don't win, this is it. We're done." Sasha said with a sigh. Naz rose from the bunk to her locker and pulled out a bullet. She held it out to Sasha, she took into her hand and looked at it. It was a bullet out of an Immune soldier's gun. Fletcher had told her how immune soldiers would use the bullet with a cross etched in the base to 'exorcise' the demon from a corpse and dying non immunes. To release their souls into heaven; the sick rhetoric Immune leaders sold the masses to fight their wars. She looked to Naz wondering why she was giving it to her.

"War souvenir. I was separated from my team one day. I ran straight into an Immune soldier, he had me dead to rights. I thought I was done. That is was it. He lifted his sidearm at me, finger on the trigger; ready shoot me in the head." Naz told her.

"You fought back?" Sasha asked her, Naz snorted a laugh.

"No, the soldier dropped dead on the spot. He was about to shoot me." She snapped her fingers, "He dropped to the ground; dead, no pulse, no outward signs of why he died. Sometimes you win from sheer dumb luck. There's no hope and then it comes back when you least expect it. So, I took that guy's guns, ammo and food. Then somehow managed to get back to my team. Carried the sidearm and it's bullets with me everyday for the rest of the war. I survived the rest of war with barely any injuries. I never even fired the weapon until the day I ran into all of you." Naz told her.

"You didn't even take cover that day." Sasha said as she remembered Naz crouching in the open firing her weapon.

"My good luck charm of sorts. Frankly, I was past caring if I got shot or not. We all have to die, it's inevitable. But I couldn't carry the gun around here but Wolf let me have one of the bullets. I just needed the reminder that sometimes we get lucky." Naz told her.

"You were attacked, nearly blinded, you had your arm broken and you died." Sasha told her, clearly pointing out the good luck charm was faulty.

"Yes, but I wasn't carrying the bullet at the time. I wanted to keep it safe, it was here in my locker the entire time." Naz argued, the semantics were hysterical but Sasha let it go.

"Ah," Sasha said in understanding.

"Look, if the finish line is in sight. Now is the time to forget about doubts and what ifs. I know you and the others have come a long way, so you just push with all you got. The rest will sort itself out and it doesn't hurt to carry 7.6 grams of good luck right?" she asked her, Sasha gave a closed lip smile as Naz was right. It wouldn't weigh her down and worst case scenario, she could use it.

"No, it doesn't. Thank you." Sasha said as she clutched the bullet in her hand. She was touched by the gesture, she too wasn't superstitious but she was at the point where she'd take all the luck she could get.

* * *

An hour later, Mike and Jeter headed to the Helo bay. Vulture team were waiting minus Sasha as she was in CIC with Tom refining mission specs for the Nathan James with Meylan.

"You check in with Nolan?" Mike asked.

"She's doing well, been released from medical. I've spoken with her, she's squared away." Jeter assured him, Mike nodded as he'd been worried about her. It was Kat's first helo crash and she'd lost her co-workers. It was hard situation to handle.

"She's a Nolan. I wouldn't expect any less." Mike replied, Kat was her own person and she didn't have her father's flair or sense of humour. But she was an excellent sailor with more grit and determination than majority of the fresh sailors in the Navy. He could see her potential, if she wanted to go to OTC; he'd write her a recommendation to make it happen.

They neared the open door to the helo and hear Miller flapping his gums. Mike and Jeter shared a look as the young man was smugly talking about his lips that cured disease and had ability to give the 'kiss of life'. Mike snorted a laugh as the man was definitely getting mileage on his story about performing CPR on Naz. He gestured for Jeter to go first, the man wore a smile of amusement as he stepped into room; ready to break up Miller's monologue.

"Any lady would be lucky to come alive in your arms." Azima said mockingly.

"See, Azima gets it. I'm the man." Miller told them, the men at the table laughed and shook their heads.

"All right, lock it up. Captain's got the floor." Jeter said as he stepped into the room, Mike followed in behind and smiled as the team stood to attention.

"Listen up. We don't have much time." Mike said as he rolled out a map that had specifically tailored for the team. "Here's the plan you're gonna RHIB to Malta, landing in Valletta and approaching from the southwest. The airstrip is 12 klicks inland, so you're gonna need to find ground mobility." he told them, he paused letting them all have a moment to look at the map and digest the information, " Now, Vellek knows we're on his ass, so he's gonna work fast. We don't know exactly how he's gonna deliver his product, but it's gonna be packed for a quick hand-off." Mike told them.

"We estimate the planes will beat you to Malta by about 10 minutes. They'll most likely be loaded and ready for takeoff by the time you land." Jeter informed them.

"Meantime, Nathan James will continue the search for Vellek's ship, But your job is to keep those planes from taking off with the package. You understand, you cannot let those planes get airborne, at any cost." He told them firmly, they all nodded understanding the situation. He looked at their faces one by one, hoping to see them all at the end of the day.

"It's nearly crunch time, we've all seen what this drug can do some of us firsthand. If Vellek's Nostos-laced 'cure' gets out into the world, there won't be much humanity left to fight for." Mike told them, the teams looked down as the words sunk as they had seen the prisoners at Kleos. They all had seen him when he suffered through it and Naz's withdrawal. They understood keenly what was at stake if they didn't come out the other side as victors. "Gear up, get it done." he told them.

"Aye Sir," They all replied.


	20. Chapter 20

Some time later,

Mike stood on the bridge of the Nathan James looking out to the horizon. Vulture team was in Malta, he was waiting for the call of confirmation that they had the airfield.

" _Nathan James, Vulture is in. Helo just took off. We are now in position on the tarmac._ " Danny said over comms. Mike's lips curled into a faint smile as a Helo meant the ship was nearby; somewhere. But annoyingly it was a lot of ocean to cover. Without their own helo or even a drone; well it was tough. Mike pushed away the thoughts as it just reminded him of how they lost two crew members. He just couldn't go there when he was needed in the moment to be focused.

 _"I can confirm visuals on two planes. Three hostiles loading crates. British and Russian crews."_ Danny finished, Mike moved to his chair and sat down, he picked up the phone receiver and looked at Sasha. It seemed the British and Greeks weren't the only problem. They had Russians in the mix too. He could only imagine the international stink this was going to create.

"Roger, Vulture. Don't start blowing shit up until we know what's in those crates. We still need those progenitor seeds." Mike ordered and reminded Danny and the others on the line of their job.

 _"Copy._ " Danny said, before chatter went back to Danny coordinating his team mates to move in. Mike hung up the phone and looked to Granderson.

"We have anything in the area?" he asked her as the Nathan James was searching the area for Vellek's ship. It was slow going to conserve their fuel but without more of indication of where the ship was. They had to stick to the grid search and hope they find it.

"Showing five unidentified ships in the area." Granderson replied looking frustrated. She wasn't the only one as the crew were feeling the strain of the mission. The loss of crewmembers and their dwindling resources against a foe that seemed to have everything going right for him; was too much to handle. Mike was starting to feel like he was a kicked puppy himself.

He also knew they would keep to the mission and give him their best. But if they failed, if he failed as a leader; he'd lose them and in a few months they wouldn't care as Vellek's brand of Nostos would zen them out. Before he could ask more questions, Wolf's voice erupted from the bridge speakers.

" _Mother, we got troops in contact_." Wolf called over comms in a rushed manner.

" _Be advised, we have one eagle wounded_!" Danny shouted as sound of gunfire came over the comm as he shouted " _Status unknown! We are taking sniper fire from the tower!_ " Danny told them.

"Divert from search pattern. Set course for Malta. Flank speed." Mike ordered, if they could get the ship closer they could send another team and Rios to pick up the injured sailors. Frankly, now that Vellek knew they were around; it was a good bet he'd send more troops to stop Vulture team from ruining his plans.

"Aye, Sir." Diaz replied as he complied to the orders, Mike slid out of his chair and moved to Granderson's station and looked down at the screen.

"No distinctive signatures." Granderson said anticipating his next question.

* * *

"Isn't a little pre-emptive to be doing this?" Naz asked Rios as he had come into the mess hall and was turning the room into a makeshift infirmary. She had drinking her protein shake as her late lunch given the kitchen closed before she went to helping him. Mike had stopped by to make sure she was squared away but she had assumed it would be hours until the ship would be in trouble. Safe in her estimate she'd gone to mess, now there was a red light flashing in the corner of the room.

"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. I've been told to expect heavy causalities once we engage with Vellek's ship. You can secure the IV poles to the wall." he told her, Naz gave a nod as she did as he ordered.

"I'm not sure where I should be." She admitted as she was the odd man out on the ship. Everyone had a job and knew exactly where to be in an emergency while she had no clue. She wasn't a sailor but she wasn't a patient. So she didn't know where or what she should do. It didn't feel right to watch TV while everyone else were fighting for humanity's last chance of survival.

"Normally, you should be in your quarters but I need you with me. I only have two other staff and they only know basic first aid. You have combat medical experience right?" Rios asked her.

"Yes," She replied.

"Remind me, how extensive?" he asked as he moved to the tabled that were dressed with padding to make it comfortable for the patients. He doubled check the trays situated next to them; making sure they had all the basics. There was a trolley to the far wall that had more specific equipment.

"Equivalent of special ops combat medic training. I will admit to some meatball surgery experience but I'd prefer not to use that skill set especially with only one hand." She told him, as she preferred to leave surgery to more qualified people than herself.

"I'm hoping we don't have to go there. Here's how it will go. You will triage the patients as they come in." He told her, Naz nodded. "I'll take highest priority cases, you oversee and instruct corpsmen with any injuries anything below that which are outside their skill set. Stabilise them, move onto the next. I may need you to assist me on more complex cases." He said as he looked around the room.

"I can do that." Naz assured him. Rios took a deep breath and exhaled before he looked her over.

"Ok, now for my sake. Sit down and hydrate. I'm going to get you surgical scrubs, so you don't ruin your clothes." he told her.

"Aye Sir." Naz told him with a mock salute, Rios snorted a laugh as he moved to the phone on the wall and called someone informing them that medical was prepped and ready before he left the room.

* * *

 _"Be advised, sniper is neutralized, but we're still taking fire. Miller and Green are secure, but down hard. We need to get them exfil, ASAP!_ " Burk told them urgently.

"Get Rios to CIC, he can talk Burk through first aid in the field." Mike ordered Jeter, the man nodded as he moved to back of the bridge to make the call. They were too far away to exfil and they had no helo to pick them up or send back up, which meant Burk would have to keep both men alive as the team made it's way back to ship.

"Do you have the seeds?" Tom asked over the comms.

 _"Negative. No sign of the progenitor. All of the crates are carrying plants covered in insects_." Azima told them, her words lit a fire in Sasha's mind and belly as she pushed off the station she had been leaning on and moved to the front of the bridge.

"He's spreading the Nostos the same way the Red Rust spread, through leaf-eating insects." Sasha told them, she couldn't help but admire the brilliance and be completely horrified by it at the same time.

"That's why there's only a few plants in each crate. They're just food to infect the bugs." Tom said, Mike pulled the radio receiver off the wall.

"Vulture Team, the bugs are the vector." He said, he hoped they could hear him over the noise of gunfire. "I say again, the bugs are the vector for the Nostos. You need to destroy those crates. Don't let any bugs get off that plane! They all must burn! Torch those planes! Burn it all! Burn it all now!" He ordered, he looked at Tom and Sasha waiting for the team to report in. It was nerve wracking to sit and wait for the enemy, to be stuck too far away to be helpful. But they had no choice.

" _One plane down. Contents burning._ " Azima announced.

" _Second plane's crippled. I can't blow the package until I get these guys outta here_." Burk reported, Mike huffed a breath in frustration as they needed the bugs to burn. If one tiny bug got away, they'd never be able to contain the damage.

" _Mother, there's a third plane!_ " Burk said over comms.  _"I say again, a third plane on the north runway! I do not have a line to take target._ " he told them,

"Gator," Mike said.

"We're less than 1 minute away from being in range to fire." Gator told him, Mike growled in annoyance as he hated the crunch moment and having to literally sit on his ass and wait.

" _Mother, Burk. Enemy aircraft taking off. Facing 0-1-3. Marking with laser. Request immediate fire support._ " Burk said over comm.

"Soon as we engage, we'll give away our position." Mike said pointing out the obvious as to what would happen if they took that plane down. But there were no other cards to play.

" _Mother, maintaining laser lock on enemy target._ " Burk told them.

"OOD, set General Quarters." Mike ordered, making the decision in a split second as he wasn't going to talk out options with Tom and Sasha.

"Aye, Sir." OOD Stewart said, she moved to the back of the ship and used the P.A.

* * *

 _"General Quarters, General Quarters_." A female voice called over the P.A., Naz looked to Corpsmen.

"What does that mean?" she asked them.

"Something is going down. You'll have to stay here Ma'am," One of the corpsmen told her as they went back to playing cards. "If the ship takes a hit, we'll feel it and the call will made if anyone needs us. We'll head out and collect those who can't walk but you stay behind. Don't need you breaking your other limbs while we rock and roll." he added in calm manner as he was not worried at all.

* * *

"CIC, Bridge. Engage target. Prepare countermeasures." Mike ordered into the phone receiver, he waited with everyone on the bridge, a few seconds later a missile launched from the front of the ship. He knew as soon as it struck the plan, Vellek's ship would have their coordinates.

" _Bridge, CIC. Confirmed hit._ " Kara responded.

"Copy," he replied, just as he predicted, alarms went off on CIC's end as chatter of noise began as Vellek's ship attacked. "Here we go." Mike said, he hung up the phone as another missile launched from the ship and headed out to sea.

"I've got a lock on Vellek's ship. Heading straight for us." Granderson told them as she stood at her post. Mike walked over and looked at the location of Vellek's ship. They had sailed right past the asshole at some point which was incredibly infuriating.

"They're tired of missing." Mike said, it was a sentiment they both shared. As he would've like to sink them but it wasn't an option. Vulture team called in, confirming the planes and bugs were burned, They were currently ex-filtrating back to the ship. It was bad timing given Vellek was now trying to crawl up their ass.

"Vellek wants a fistfight." Tom remarked.

"He knows we can't fire back. Might as well get within potato range." Mike added, he looked at the map in the screen. His mind ticking a million thoughts per second before deciding on the best play. "Gator, set course for Linosa. We need the island cover." he ordered.

"Aye Sir." Gator replied.

"Hardly a fair fight. We can't fire." Jeter said as they had expended all of their long distance weaponry. All they had left was chaff and close range weaponry. Not ideal, but it would have to do as a last resort.

"So we knock the fight out of them." Tom said, Mike looked to him wondering where the man was going. "Let them chase us around the island. But drop a couple operators in a zodiac right in her path. Board and cripple that ship. Nathan James can then come out of cover and take control while we find the seeds." Tom said laying out his plan. It sounded like a good plan but there were major problems with them.

"We still have to exfil our operators. From the sound of it, they're not in any shape-" Mike started but Tom cut him off.

"I'll go." Tom said volunteering himself, Mike narrowed his eyes not liking it. "It's personal for Lucia. They have the seeds. She wants me. If I fail, Nathan James lives to fight another day." Tom told him firmly, it made sense that Tom would make a courageous plan sound personal and suicidal.

"I'll go with you." Sasha told Tom, he frowned. "Someone has watch your six and get the seeds." she told him in a matter of fact tone. Mike couldn't help but think it was a bad idea as two operators who had an axe to grind and a death wish. But they didn't have any better options available to them.

They needed the seeds, even if Tom and Sasha had death wishes; they were also high achievers so there was a good chance they'd sort out their personal issues and get the seeds. In by getting the seeds they might find that part of them that wanted to live.

"Go, I'll have Meylan meet you in the helo bay to go over the specs." He told them, he watched the two run off the bridge together and then moved to call CIC; to get Meylan to assist them.

* * *

A few hours later, the sun had set and so far the Nathan James had avoided Vellek's ship following Tom's plan. It was insane that they spent the last few days trying to get Vellek, to now have him chase them like a lovesick puppy. Only problem was that Vellek's ship wanted blow them out of the water; not shower them with love.

"Nathan James will maintain position behind the island." Meylan said reminding Tom and Sasha how they were going to disable Vellek's ship; not for the first time. "First, you'll need to burn the ship's radar by crippling its cooling mechanism." He told them.

"Cooling skid's in the engine room. Got it." Tom said as the three of them walked to the ladder that led down to the RHIB.

"When it goes, you'll have a couple minutes before the radar systems auto-shutdown from the heat. No radar, no targeting." Meylan told them.

"Understood." Tom said as he and Sasha

"Compromising the engine's reduction gear will grind the ship's propulsion to a halt. It's usually padlocked. All you gotta do is gum up the works." He said, Sasha wore a wry smile as of a few days ago, Meylan had looked ready to throw Tom overboard. Now he was talking them both like he wanted them both back; alive and in one piece.

"Not a problem." Sasha assured him, she appreciated his concern and found it cute as he was holding them. Naz's good luck charm in her pocket and knowing she'd finally get wreak havoc and get back the seeds. Well, she was in the mood to play the game again, if only to put it to bed for good.

"Now we won't make a move until we know you guys are DIW. So if anything goes south, bail, and we will come around and we will pick you up." He told them, she looked to Tom they shared a look of amusement. They both had their demons and they both needed this mission to be a success. So there was an understanding that no matter their past, they were a team when they stepped on that RHIB. If they ever got there.

"Captain." Tom said stopping Meylan, "We got it." he assured the man. Meylan took a sharp inhale as he looked between the two.

"Yeah. I can see that. Good luck." He told them, he stepped back and watched as Tom went down the ladder with Sasha behind him.

* * *

Mike leaned on the back of Wright's chair as he watched Sonar screen. He knew Tom and Sasha were on their way to Vellek's ship. Vulture team were in still in transit but it was slow going thanks to the condition Danny was in. But in some ways it was a blessing as right now they would've been caught in the upcoming battle.

Naz was behind him at the navigator's station with Rios. On the table was everything a member of the Vulture team carried with them. Naz was advising them in some unorthodox medical technique to stabilise Danny's condition long enough to get him back to the ship.

"Vellek's props are decreasing speed." Wright told him.

"Slower is good. Hooking a ship at night's hard enough. Don't want to try it at 30 knots." Mike told the man.

"Crossing the interception point. Zodiac is there." Kara announced.

"Good luck." Mike murmured under his breath to Tom and Sasha as he moved to where Naz and Rios were. "Status?" he asked them, he tried to stay focused even though his mind wandered slightly as his eyes zeroed on a old scar across her top right side of her forehead that he hadn't noticed before.

But then her hair had always been loose and parted to the side presumably covering it. Unlike now where her hair was pulled completely back from her face in a lopsided yet neat bun. With her hair pulled back, he was able to get a good look at her current injuries. Even though the swelling was down and the bruise was mottling, he could still see the impression of the belt buckle and the stitches to prove it broke skin. Her arm in a cast. He know she was not in great shape.

In fact, any person in her condition would be laying bed. But here she was, not even slowed by her injuries, dressed in burgundy scrubs; looking completely focused and right at home with a stethoscope around her neck and pens in the top's pocket. Her scrub pants tucked into her boots like a soldier would in a military hospital. She could easily pass for one of them.

"Green is in critical condition. Without eyes on him, we can't make an accurate diagnosis. But Lt Burk says Green was shot in the right flank and is struggling to breathe. We're assuming he has a collapsed lung or bleeding internally. They've found a secure location for the moment." Rios informed him, Mike had a feeling it was more grim than what Rios was sharing as the man continued speaking.

"Naz is talking them through how to make a homemade one way valve. She has more experience with building one from scratch than I do." Rios told him, being honest as he had been spoiled by his resources on the Nathan James and the hospitals back home.

He didn't want to admit it to Captain Slattery, but he was outside of depth with trying to figure out how to MacGyver a medical treatment when he couldn't see what was on hand or the patient. It was why he called Naz in for a second opinion; two brains were better than one. He had seen patients die from Doctor's hubris. He vowed to never become like that. Naz had most recent field experience than him of operating in a war zone with barely any resources. He was happy to defer to her until it was time for him to step in again.

"What about Miller?" Mike asked, Naz stood at the table, her eyes staring off the space as she spoke in a calm and confident manner. He frankly did not want to know exactly what they doing to Green as he remembered Naz's idea of medical treatment was. It wasn't for the faint of heart but it kept him alive long enough to get back to safety of the ship's medical bay.

"He has a flesh wound and is currently stable. Kandie and Taylor are working it out on their end to keep Green alive. They have it in hand, Sir." Rios told him, Mike nodded not entirely reassured but grateful as he would've preferred to have Vulture team back on board.

"Keep me posted." he told him, even if the Nathan James couldn't come and get them until they dealt with Vellek, Mike still wanted to know how they were fairing. To know they weren't forgotten.

* * *

A couple hours later,

Alarms were blaring and the ship was aglow in red light as Greek Sailors ran through the p-ways of their ship. Sasha and Tom kept to the shadows waiting for the P-way to clear. She looked across at Tom as the speakers spewed out Greek. She didn't understand anything except the word 'James', so it didn't take a genius to know what was coming next. But it did put them on a short timeline. She looked at the open doorway and noted that it was quiet and moved closer to it, she slightly leaned against the wall and looked out into the hallway. It was empty. For the moment.

"General Quarters?" She asked in a low voice, she would never admit as much to Tom but she had to admit she liked them being paired again. He looked at her like she was his equal, there was no doubt, no questioning of her ability. Damn, if it wasn't intoxicating to be in danger and know that the person who had your back didn't see you as dead weight.

"Yeah, they're closing in on Nathan James. We got 10 minutes." Tom estimated, she nodded grateful that Tom knew enough Greek to save them from too much trouble.

"An entire Greek ship against the two of us." Sasha reminded him grimly. The odds were against them, Tom smiled at her like this was going to fun. She couldn't help the faint smile on her lips.

"They won't know what hit 'em." he told her, he winked at her and moved into the hallway. They headed in the direction of the ship's engine room. It didn't take long as thankfully general quarters had emptied the hallways. Better yet, they were not expected them.

When they got there, Tom took out the first engineer as they entered engineering. Sasha continued on as she knew he would take of cooling skids. She shot the rest of engineering crew; leaving one man alive. She saw the keys attached to his uniform for the engine's reduction gear. She yanked it off his uniform and held her gun pointed at him as she walked over to reduction gear. She unlocked the padlock on the access port and pulled it off, dropping it to the floor.

"Cooling's down." Tom said as he came her way, "Weapons are FUBAR. Heading for Vellek's lab." he told her.

"I'll meet you there." She told him, as she opened the access port, Tom gave a nod as he continued on. She slowly stepped back to the tool box on the floor while kept an eye on the man in front of her.

But just as she took her eyes off of him to grab a wrench; he rushed her and parried the gun out of her hand. It skittered across the floor as he landed a hard punch to the sternum. She grunted from hit, as her breath stopped in her from the shock and crumpled down from not just the pain, she picked up the wrench. She swung it up just as he was about to hit her again but she got him first. Hard metal connected with the man's jaw with a satisfying crunch.

The man dropped to the ground disorientated. She quickly picked up the gun and pointed it back at the man and walked over to the access point; she dropped the wrench in. She gave a satisfied sigh as the engine chewed it up then groaned with indigestion; then promptly died.

She kicked the man onto his back, "Get up. Slowly." she ordered, the man definitely understood English as he rose to his feet. the phone on the wall rang, the man looked at it. "Answer it, if you screw me; I will kill you without hesitation. If you do right by me time, I'll let you live." She promised him in a dark manner. "Do you understand?" she asked him, he swallowed and gave a nod as he picked up the phone.

Sasha kept the gun pointed at his head as she listened very closely to his tone and took note of his body language. He spoke with whoever was on the other end and no new alarms sounded. When he hung up the phone and looked at her with fear in her eyes.

"They know nothing." he promised her in broken English. Sasha didn't bother to question him to make sure instead she pistol whipped the man across the face. He dropped to the floor unconscious and in a heap.

* * *

Mike listened as Kara gave him an update on Vellek's ship. He had moved to the bridge as he found CIC too distracting for him to think.

"Roger that, CIC." Mike said with a sense of satisfaction, he turned to Meylan as it was the first signs of life from Tom and Sasha since they left. "Vellek's lost propulsion." he told the man, Meylan cracked a rare smile.

"I'd say that's the cue from Chandler." Meylan told him, Mike gave a nod and looked to Lt. Stewart.

"OOD, get us out from behind this island. Head straight for that Greek Destroyer. All ahead full." Mike ordered, if they were lucky they'd reach Vellek's ship by first light. He couldn't wait for this be over like everyone else. Tom and Sasha had just levelled the playing field in their favour. Mike just hoped he saw them at the end of battle.

"Aye, Sir. Helm, all ahead full." Stewart said repeating the order.

"All ahead full, aye." Diaz repeated, as he changed course.

* * *

"What is the E.T.A. of Vulture team?" Kara asked Naz in a quiet tone. She didn't want CIC to overhear them as it wasn't an official question. She could easily contact the crew but she was in charge and part of that was maintaining a well put together facade. She already convinced herself that as TAO, that she needed to know her husband's condition so as to clear her mind. She needed to clear all distractions from her mind as they were about an hour from engaging the enemy. But there was no excuse for waiting on Rios to leave to ask the question.

"They have left Malta and are en route. Wolf estimated 5 hours out." Naz told her in a professional manner.

"What do you think Green's chances are?" Kara asked her, Naz saw the name tag and the woman's engagement and wedding rings. It didn't take a genius to know who she was asking about. She took a deep breath and looked up as she pretended to calculate the man's odds. In reality she had no clue without seeing him, but the woman needed her to lie to her and make her believe it.

"He's stable for now, with two blood donors on the team. He'll survive for another 7 hours before he's critical." Naz assured her, lying through her teeth but then this was one area she excelled out. Telling someone their injury wasn't that bad when it was the opposite.

"I can work with." Kara told her, she took Naz at her word. She also felt buoyed with relief by Naz's estimate as it meant she had time. Time that meant she didn't have to stress between how to get to her husband and complete the mission at hand.

Naz watched as the woman walked away and started walking around the room with authority and confidence. She had to admit she missed being a work place where everyone knew what they were doing. They all had a task and performed it well to reach their goals.

"What were you saying to Commander Green?" Rios asked as he rejoined her at the table.

"She asked me if I wanted a seat. I told her I was fine." Naz told Rios, He looked unsure whether to believe her but didn't question further.

* * *

Sasha and Tom paused as a new alarm sounded through the ship. Tom looked her as they just reached where they believed the lab to be. Tom opened the hatch as quietly as he could and pushed it open, drawing his gun; he stepped into the converted helo bay taking in the large area. The room was divided into two areas, one seemingly for recreation as it had a dining table with a lounge to the side and drinks cart. While the other half was a lab.

He swept the outer area as Sasha stepped into the room and closed the hatch behind them. She kept an eye on the door as they had to assume the Greeks knew they were here. Tom moved to the lab area as he heard movement, he slide the door open and found Vellek. The old man was nattering to himself as fumble for matches. The room stank of turpentine, the lab looked like it had been doused.

"Christos." Vellek sighed in relief, "They're coming for have to leave, son." he said as he looked around, he hadn't seen Tom yet. But then his back was turned to him. "Christos? We gotta go, man." Vellek said completely frustrated. He looked around and even past Tom like he wasn't even there. "Where are you?" he said as he managed to light a match.

"Right here," Tom said, playing into the old man's delusion. Vellek turned to him and smiled in relief as he held the lit match. Tom wondered how this man could be the same in the videos and the one who taped his house espousing philosophy.

"The seeds. Where are they?" Tom told him.

"My son." Vellek murmured, but the longer he stared at Tom; it was like a light switch. Vellek, the man he'd met at the fights was back and he was in full control of his faculties as anger and resignation filled his eyes and his expression darkened.

"It's over, Vellek, but you can still redeem yourself. You can redeem your family. Give us the formula for the cure without the Nostos. Feed the world." Tom implored, hoping the man could see reason through all of this. That he'd snuff out the match and surrender as Tom knew they needed his brilliance even if he was twisted with grief. He felt Sasha at his shoulder as she stepped into the lab behind him.

"A random act of violence. That's what they called it when my son was beaten to death. Then the virus came, and 'random' became 'constant'. Man's real nature, his conscience, his compassion, went to sleep. Smothered by his addiction to violence. I offered a way back." Vellek told him.

"It wasn't a way back. It was a way out. You have a formula. You have the seeds. Whatever you've done-" Tom started but Vellek cut him off.

"Cannot be undone." Vellek assured him, he looked at the plaque in his hand as the flame of the lit match crept closer to the man's fingers. "What's gone is gone." he told Tom, he dropped the placque onto a pile of books on the floor and then admired the flame of the match before Tom could anticipate his next move. He tossed the match on his books. Flames whooshed from the pile of books and spread quickly through the room; within seconds the room was wall to wall of fire.

"Go! Get Vellek! I'll find the seeds!" Sasha shouted at Tom over the noise of the fire. Tom did as she said and raced quickly through the flames to the other side and disappeared in the direction of where Vellek had left. She holstered her weapon and took in the room. Everything was burning, the fire suppression system for the room had been purposefully disconnected as it activated outside the lab but not in it.

She looked around the room from where she stood and raised an arm as the sound of glass exploding and metal groaning from the intense heat as the lab was imploding on itself. What was worse was that the seeds were in the room, every second the fire grew stronger; the sooner those seeds were toast. Her eyes scanned the room as she tentatively moved around the edge of the flames.

There had to be a fire extinguisher somewhere, it was then her eyes fell on just what she was looking for. Right on the other side of the room, there it was. A fire extinguisher. She moved to a storage unit by the wall and pulled what looked to be a cotton towel and quickly wrapped it around her nose and mouth. Once it was secure; she raced through the flames and grabbed the thing off the wall. She pulled the pin and directed the nozzle at the flames chasing the fire until it was out.

She placed the extinguisher to the side. Her eyes and throat burned from the acrid smoke in the room but she ignored the pain and she carefully rummaged through the wreck. She tried to open a cabinet but cursed as it singed her fingers. She pulled the mask from her face and folded up; used it to open the door only to find nothing but supplies. The seeds had to be somewhere was all she thought as she continued hunting.


	21. Chapter 21

Mike looked out the front of the ship and saw Vellek's ship coming up as they sailed closer and closer to the vessel. Soon they'd be in firing range of each other and things would get messy. He moved from his chair to front of Helm and looked at Diaz.

"BM3, what's the first order you get when you take the helm?" he asked Diaz.

"Don't crash the ship, Sir." Diaz told him.

"I want you to belay that order." Mike told him, the young man frowned in confusion as it was the golden rule you never broke as a helmsman. "You do whatever it takes, but get us alongside that enemy ship as hard as you can." Mike ordered.

"Aye aye, Captain." Diaz replied, Mike turned to Lt. Stewart.

"OOD, bring us in at target angle 170. I want that ship to need a cigarette after this." He told her, making it clear what his desire to have happen was clear and understood by all.

"Aye, sir." Stewart replied, Mike moved to Jeter's side.

"Master Chief, no way Vulture team gets back in time. And they're beat to hell. I need a boarding party." Mike told him, Jeter nodded and moved to P.A. system.

"Attention, all hands. This is your Master Chief. At this very moment, our ship's most capable operators are making their way back from one hell of a fight. But we're not done here." Jeter told them.

* * *

" _Our Captain needs volunteers to join him in boarding the enemy ship and bringing Cooper, Captain Chandler, and those seeds back in one piece. Anyone willing to lay their lives on the line, muster in the Helo bay in five minutes. That is all_." Jeter finished, the P.A. system whistled as it signed off.

"Ma'am, permission to join the boarding party." Nioshioka said from his station.

"Granted." Kara told him, the man pulled off his headset and headed out of CIC.

* * *

"50 cal and two 40s, Captain." Meylan said as they were close enough to Vellek's ship to make out the weapons the Greeks had at their disposal.

"All right, they showed us theirs. Let's show 'em ours." Mike said, he felt the thrill of knowing that this was all coming to an end. In the next hour they'd know who won the battle. Mike knew in his bones that it would be them, he couldn't explain it, but he just knew. Even knowing the outcome would be on their end. They still had to fight tooth and nail for it. "XO, prepare to pound 'em. Get Commander Green up here. I need her eyes." he told Meylan, the man nodded acknowledging the order as he turned to Granderson.

"Granderson, you've got combat. Work the cut-out zones of Vellek's crew-served weapons. And send Commander Green up to the bridge." Meylan ordered.

"Yes, Sir." Granderson said before she rushed off the bridge. Mike and Meylan lifted their binoculars to watch the distance evaporate between the ships when one of the windows exploded. The men ducked as the bridge was hit with multiple rounds. Metal pinged as bullets hit the from wall of the bridge and glass showered into the bridge as windows imploded.

Mike looked back to see if he'd lost any crew in the initial attack when he spotted Kara ducked low racing into room. "Commander, do your thing!" he ordered as gunfire continued to pelt their way.

"Aye, Sir!" Kara shouted as she took up her post. In seconds the large gun on the front of the Nathan James fired off several consecutive and timed shots. The attack on the bridge had slowed enough for them to move. Frankly, Mike wasn't in the mood to wait for it to stop.

"Joe, let's get that team moving!" Mike shouted at Meylan, he was halfway off the bridge when Gator was at his side.

"Sir! Permission to join the boarding party." he asked, Mike looked at the man he'd expected to be the last to volunteer for boarding party. He could easily deny him but frankly he needed every able sailor he could. He grabbed the man by the shoulder and pushed him towards the door.

"Move!" Mike told him.

* * *

Sasha frantically searched every single container and cupboard for the seeds. It was starting to feel hopeless but she couldn't imagine the man had enough time to use all the seeds. There had to something left behind. The fire damage was superficial at best, so there should've at least been the charred remains of the seeds.

She moved to another cupboard and yanked it open, cool air washed out at her. Then in what must have been cold storage was a plant in container crawling with bugs. It had a tag that read 'cure', the plant was indeed healthy. She couldn't help but smile at the healthy plant. As it meant Vellek made a cure that presumably didn't have the Nostos blend, with enough bugs that could spread it.

She gave a half laugh and sigh of relief as she looked around the other shelves but still there was no sign of the seeds. While it was frustrating, if she couldn't find the seeds then at least there was a cure.

* * *

Kara kept her head low as she peered out the front of bridge window just in case they were attacked again. Captain Slattery and Meylan were on the boarding party together while she had been given temporary command. She just had to find the perfect moment to swerve the ship and-

"Now! Port engine ahead 2/3! Starboard engine back 2/3!" Kara ordered as ducked down as far as she could without compromising her line of vision outside and braced herself against the console against her. The close proximity alarm sounded on the ship; alerting them they were about to collide with another vessel.

The other ship was coming up fast. "Brace! Brace! Brace!" she shouted, giving everyone time to prepare.

* * *

Mike was geared up with the boarding party. He was ready to rock and roll even with his ragtag team of sailor volunteers. They all knew how to fire a weapon but weren't exactly his first choices. But he brushed that errant thought away as the alarm sounded on the deck and Jeter's voice came over the P.A. issuing warning of impact and to brace.

Mike looked out to the side, saw the other ship coming up fast. "Brace! Brace! Brace!" he ordered, he adjusted his footing and leaned hard against the wall. The Nathan James smacked hard into the side of Vellek's ship and started scraping up the side of the ship as the force of collision bent both ships frames out of shape and jamming them together. Once the ship stopped, Mike shouted the order. They only had a few seconds of surprise and disorientation to get the upper hand on Vellek's crew.

"Go! Go! Go! Move! Move!" he ordered as he took point. He quickly climbed over the railings of the two ships, and as soon as he had his feet firmly on Vellek's ship, it was game on.

* * *

Naz knew she'd been feeling that collision for a while as she pushed off the floor and went to the gunner that she and Rios had just stabilise when the Nathan James struck the other ship. He wasn't lying when he said that he'd been warned to expect high volume of injuries. As they were starting to flow in.

"I have this." Rios told her, firmly as he tapped more gauze to the man's shoulders. "Go, organise them." he ordered, Naz nodded, she pulled off her gloves, and yanked on fresh pair as she moved to the door stopping the first crewman before they all became a mess around the room.

"Let's take a look." She said to him, as she motioned for him to lift his hand away that was holding gauze to his nose and mouth. The poor man did as she asked, and winced as he gingerly lowered the hand, blood dripped down his face anew as he had broken his nose and lost his two front teeth. "Console?" she asked, he gave a pained nod. "Teeth?" she asked casually, trying not the wince.

"Swallowed 'em. I think." he said his face scrunched in pain. She was empathetic as that was pretty bad but not life threatening.

"Omph, any other pain?" she asked, the man shook his head. "Ok, go to far left. The Corpsmen will look after you. Get you something for the pain." she told him, before she wrote the number '3C' on the back of his hand to denote he wasn't critical but needed be on concussion watch. She gently moved him in the direction and continued to the next.

* * *

Sasha coughed as the smoke in the room was becoming too much for her even with the cloth covering her face. She turned to make another round of the room as movement caught her eye, she barely got to pull her sidearm when Lucia shot her in the chest. Luckily, the vest caught the bullet but it didn't stop the pain that knocked her the floor as she was hit in the same place she had at Giorgio's house.

"Bitch!" Lucia said in annoyance. "Finish her!" she ordered to her lackeys, Sasha pulled herself to cover as footfalls came into the room. She hissed out a quiet breath as pain throbbed through her chest painfully. She half crawled and dragged herself behind of one of the lab tables and pulled her weapon just as the sailors shot at her.

Bullets from both sides missed and ricocheted off the metal in the room. Sasha looked for someway to get at the men, then it struck her as she saw their legs clearly from her end. She aimed her weapon and shot both men in the ankles and when they dropped to the floor, she shot them before they could shoot her.

Two men laid dead on the floor across the room, she listened for Lucia as she figured that cow was around there somewhere waiting for the men to incapacitate her. Lucia didn't seem like a hands on kind of gal when it came to dirty work. But when Sasha looked around from her place on the floor she saw no other boots and figured Lucia was gone. It dawned on her that she was most likely going after Tom.

That meant, Sasha had to get off the floor which wasn't going to be fun. She muffled a groan as tight pain radiated through her chest, and it just pissed her off that she'd been shot by Tom's ex-whatever she was. Using the anger, she pushed herself up right and hissed in pain as she was pretty sure the bullet cracked a rib.

Given it didn't sound like anyone was coming, she took a few seconds to push the pain out of her mind. Her eyes skating around her for a distraction when they landed on the huge pile of books on the floor.

There she saw something stick out that wasn't the binding of a book. She muffled a grown, pushed to her feet and walked over to the pile. She carefully lifted the books up and there under the charred remains of Vellek's work was the canister of seeds. She picked up, it wasn't even marred by the seeds or the container. She smiled as she had them back, she had the seeds and a cure. It was time to find Tom.

* * *

Mike moved stealthily through the mess hall of Vellek's ship. So far they had made great progress in subduing the Greeks but their arrogance had been their downfall as they underestimated the Nathan James. But for all their arrogance, he had to admire their want to win as they refused to surrender.

Mike took out a guard, while Granderson shot another, they were about to progress when Gator fired off two shots. Mike looked back to see two dead bodies. He looked at Gator with a new appreciation.

"I shot double "Expert" at the Academy. No one ever asked." He informed Mike sheepishly.

"Right." Mike remarked, not one to dwell on that interesting piece of information. "Let's go." he told them.

* * *

Tom walked out onto the deck as he saw Vellek standing out on the Helo pad of the upper deck. The old man's eyes were on the horizon, there was something remarkably calm about him. He knew he had lost but he just stood there waiting. It made Tom antsy as he didn't like the feel of the situation, especially for him standing out in the open. But he couldn't see any sailors.

"Hell of a view, man." Vellek shouted back toward him, Tom walked towards him but pain seared through his left leg as a gunshot sounded. He grunted in pain as his leg buckled and he put majority of his weight onto his good leg to keep him kneeling. He looked to source and watched as Lucia strolled over to him with a gun levelled at his head.

"The mighty Tom Chandler, down on one knee. I'm swooning." She drawled mockingly, "Give me the gun." she ordered, Tom unclipped the rifle from his vest and handed his rifle off to her.

"I thought this family didn't believe in violence." Tom said in a strained voice as his leg was killing him. He felt blood drip down his leg which was not good.

"We're only human." Lucia told him curtly, she stood back and Tom looked up at her as she pointed her gun at him. "This one's for Giorgio." she said, Tom looked up calm and resigned to his fate. Just as she pulled the trigger, her body jerked and two spots of blood plumed at the front of her t-shirt. She dropped to the ground, there standing a few yards away was Sasha with seeds in hand.

Tom looked down at Lucia, she was still alive despite her fatal injuries. Blood pooled quickly around her body as she looked to her father.

"Daddy," she said faintly, her tone was that of a daughter begging for help. Tom looked to Vellek who watched on with a conflicted expression as if he wanted to help but he couldn't bring himself to. "Daddy?." she murmured, she gave a groan and slowly dropped her head to the ground, dead. Tom looked up from her to Vellek. He could not understand how a man could sacrifice his children for vengeance.

"This world... Somewhere, this world is good." Vellek said cryptically, Tom knew that look in the man's eye before he turned around and headed to the edge of the ship. Tom pushed to his feet and tried to follow only for his injury to impede him. He stumbled back down to his knee, but he gritted his teeth and pushed himself up to his feet. He sucked in a breath as the pain was overwhelming, stars and speckles crossed his vision. But Tom couldn't pass out, not yet.

"Step away from the edge, Vellek." Tom ordered, the man turned around his expression filled with annoyance and anger like he were fed up with them all. Fed up with the world he lived in.

"I offered a cure, man. A real and final cure for the sickness in us all. You of all people should know about that with what you've seen, what you've done. You need what I'm offering more than anybody." Vellek told him, Tom knew couldn't argue with that.

"You're right, Doctor. I have seen the worst in people, the worst in myself. But I've also seen strength in others that you wouldn't believe, and kindness that would bring you to tears." Tom told him as he thought of all the people he'd lost; Rachel, Tex, his father, Alex... there were too many to count who had been with him; who had held the path and helped save humanity. Then he thought of those who took him in when he was in his darkest hours and showed him kindness when he never believed he deserved it.

Right now, he needed Vellek to understand there was hope as they needed this man for the cure, his brilliance. But Vellek wasn't convinced by his words. He saw Sasha out of his peripheral vision stepping forward with her gun raised ready to shoot the man if needs be. But Tom raised his arm and stopped her, she holstered her weapon and stepped back taking his silent order and standing down.

"That was beautiful, man. I can clearly see why people follow you." Vellek said as he gestured at him, Tom looked to his left and saw Mike was at his side, Sasha was to his right. Meylan and Kat further in the background. "But you are the one-eyed king. I offer you peace, you choose war." Vellek told him vehemently.

"Peace at the cost of free will? I'll take war anytime." Tom told him, Vellek shook his head and sighed in disappointment as he felt Tom would never get it. Maybe Tom never would but he knew Nostos wasn't peace, it wasn't a solution.

"We the people are addicted to your darkness." Vellek told Tom in a despondent manner as if he'd come to the realisation that he wasn't going to win or change minds.

"Being human isn't about cutting out the darkness. It's about fighting, every day, to find the light!" Tom told him, desperate for Vellek to be swayed as he was too far away for any of them to stop him from jumping as it was clearing what the man planned to do.

"No, Captain. You don't have to fight to find the light. That is what you don't understand because you are covered in blood and blinded to the truth. My truth." Vellek told him.

"Maybe but I'm not the majority, there are people out there that need you. People who deserve to survive, who don't have my sickness." Tom told him, "Please give the world another chance. See the good for yourself. We have the seeds, but we need you, we need your science." Tom said imploringly to the man's hubris.

"I appreciate the invite, man. But there's Heaven." Vellek told him as he gestured out to the ocean where the sun was coming over the horizon. "And I gotta go." he said, stepped over the chain railing.

"No!" Tom shouted, but it was too late. Vellek dropped over the side of the ship. He stood there in shock, Mike rushed forward and stopped just at the ledge and looked over. He turned and looked back at Tom, shook his head. Tom bit back a curse, he nearly fell when Sasha linked her right arm through his and helped stabilise him. His eyes locked with hers and there was something unreadable but tangible between them. He didn't know why but he felt in that moment, she was back in his corner 100%, it felt good even in the moment of failure.

* * *

A couple hours later,

"Doc Rios says you have a cracked rib and some smoke inhalation. You'll live with some oxygen and rest as you're just one big bruise." Naz said as she handed her a mask and opened the valve on the oxygen tank.

"Your bullet was not a lucky charm. I'm clearly injured." Sasha told her, she winced as her voice has become hoarse from inhaling too much smoke and chemical fumes from Vellek's lab.

"You got shot, in the vest. Not the head. That is lucky." Naz told her, she flicked Sasha's bruised shoulder, Sasha groaned from the pain. She quickly covered it with the ice bag before Naz decided to poke her. "Any sane person would've packed a gas mask knowing they were going to step into a psycho's lab. Fire or no fire. So the smoke inhalation is all on you." Naz told her mockingly.

"Your bedside manner sucks." Sasha told her as Rios had kind, assuring her it would be ok and letting her off the hook for her lack of care while on a mission. Though in fairness, it was amusing how Naz was like the father figure that told a kid to get up and keep going while Rios was the mother hovering over his charges with concern.

"Wolf said the same thing. But remember you not only found the seeds but you found the cure. Which also sounds strangely lucky to me." Naz said, continuing on her weird bent that the bullet was luck and she also made another vaguely good point.

"Ok, it's maybe a little lucky." Sasha conceded, Naz flashed a bright smile that shocked Sasha as she'd never seen anything but faint or sardonic smiles.

"Imagine how you would've gone if you had the gun. Breathe with mask on." Naz told her as Rios called for her from the other side of the room. Sasha shook her head as she watched her friend go. Tom seemed to find the conversation funny as his laughter made her glare at him.

"What are you laughing about?" Sasha asked Tom as the man laid on the table in the mess with his pant leg torn open and his upper thigh wrapped in bandage as Rios had managed to retrieve the bullet from his leg and stitched him back up. It was clear he was under the influence of medication and suffering blood loss as he was smiling at her with a dopey grin. It was kind adorable as he looked boyish and relaxed.

"You resting. Don't think you got an 'off' button." he quipped with a hearty chuckle.

"Look who's talking." Sasha grumbled with a faint smile on her lips.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it if I'm a number 2 sometimes." Tom said showing the back of his hand to her which had a '2' written in marker on it before he snorted a laugh.

"Really grown up," Sasha told him as the man was making poop jokes now. Tom's expression grew soft and serious.

"You know, your eyes are the colour of the cerulean blue ocean on a clear summer's day. So, beautiful." he told her with a dreamy sigh.

"Thank you." Sasha said wryly.

"God, I love you." he told her sincerely.

"That's great. Please go to sleep." she told him, as his declaration didn't count due to the drugs.

"No," He told her. "I love you, we should get married. I'm much better in bed nowadays, I don't have to lift the toilet seat or sit down to tinkle. Double expert marksmanship." he told her smugly, Sasha tried to keep a straight face while others around them laughed quietly. She wasn't sure what was funnier; Tom saying 'tinkle' or evaluating his qualities as a husband.

"You can stop talking now." Sasha told him.

"I don't want to stop talking. You stop talking and listen to me." he told her, Sasha reared back at his demand in slight shock and amusement. "I can do the dishes, take out the trash without prompting. The things I can do with my tongue... just saying you'd tie me to the bed and never let me leave. I'd be fine with it." he slurred, Sasha's cheeks flamed at the notion and embarrassment given the entire room could hear what Tom was saying. She didn't know whether to laugh or hide her face in mortification.

"Am I interrupting something?" Mike asked as he walked up to them with an amused grin on his face. He heard all of Tom's slurred declaration and grand plans.

"Tom's marriage proposal. If you're lucky he might pick you to be his Gentleman love." Sasha said mockingly, Mike grinned.

"I'm a shit." Tom corrected her before sniggering at his own joke. Mike frowned as he wasn't sure he wanted to get into whatever was going on between the two. But given they were bickering like an old married couple, it was a definite improvement. "No, I'm the shit." Tom said correcting himself, before snorting a laugh. He looked to Mike. "We're going to get married." he told him.

"I wouldn't marry you even if you committed yourself to becoming a woman." Mike told Tom, who looked confused as Mike's comment jammed up his brain.

"Are Vulture team back yet?" Sasha asked while Tom was still deciphering Mike's words.

"You sound like a 4 pack a day smoker." Mike told her.

"I think it's sexy. You're really are beautiful." Tom told Sasha with moon eyes. Mike felt sorry for the man as the whole ship was going to be talking about this for a very long time.

"Are my eyes are like an ocean that you just want to dive into and never come up for air?" Mike asked Tom.

"No-well." Tom paused as he actually had to think it over, but then shook his head. "No, stop confusing me." Tom told him, Mike smothered a laugh before he looked to Sasha with sympathy.

"Vulture team's back now, Danny is being rushed into surgery. He is not looking good and Miller was shot in ass. So he'll be in here any minute to add to your entertainment. But at least he's not advertising himself as your suitor." Mike said drily as he'd ordered the young man to shut up given the tired look of his team mates. Mike guessed, Miller hadn't shut up the entire trip back to the ship.

"If only I could set some drugs to knock me out to save me from the humiliation of drugged up Tom. You know Miller's going to make a production of his injury. The man has no shame." Sasha said with a groan as before she placed the mask back on her face to take a breath.

"Cut him some slack. He's young, it's his first gunshot wound." Mike said in good humour.

"I guess, I can let it go this one time." Sasha conceded before she gave a cough and winced from the pain.

"You should rest that voice before you lose it completely. I just wanted to come and see how you're all doing before I donated blood for Green. Meylan is still sorting through the labs over on Vellek's ship. Making sure we haven't missed anything." Mike informed her.

"What about our ship?" Sasha asked him as she didn't want to be left alone with drugged up Tom.

"We're still sea worthy, though we're going to need a few weeks in dry dock to pop the dents out and get a new paint job." Mike said with a wry smile as he knew Garnett will rip him a new one for the damage to the Navy's favourite ship. "Speaking of, I have to call in. I'll leave you to enjoy this." Mike said as he pointed at Tom.

* * *

A few hours later,

"How's the view the back there?" Miller slurred at Naz as she was changing the dressing on his backside. She had to admit it was humorous how heavy handed Rios was with the meds. But then it was probably the only way he got a sailor to stay in bed and get some sleep.

"You know that you have a heart shaped mole on your ass." Naz told him, as his team mates sat around smiling and shaking their heads at their redheaded friend.

"Beauty mark, it's not even my best feature." Miller informed her with a cute grin, Naz chuckled as she was pretty sure she knew what Miller thought was his best feature. She was definitely sure that she did not want to see it.

"I'm sure, but I will survive not seeing your best feature." She told him, what she wanted to see was the back of her eyelids. She was just grateful to fit in a shower and fresh scrubs, that and to get the bag off her arm cast. Sure it stopped the blood from staining her case, but it didn't stop her from sweating; it now reeked.

"That's right, you will survive cause I saved you and I'm your first Ranga. It gives me life saving powers. Ranga powers." he said putting a butchered Australian accent on the word 'Ranga'. Wolf and Naz winced at the sound, feeling sorry for their accent.

"So true, you're the only redhead to ever give me mouth to mouth and bring back from the brink of death." Naz replied mockingly, but Miller smiled happy with being her first.

"God, don't inflate his ego." Burk said as he tucked into an MRE at the table across from them. He didn't even look up as he'd claimed earlier that he didn't want to be blinded by Miller's pale ass.

"Kiss of life, no tongue cause I'm a gentleman." Miller reminded her, those around laughed at the poor taste joke and Naz had to stop in what she was doing to laugh herself.

"Well, now you'll have a cute little dimple next to your beauty mark." Naz told Miller as she smoothed tape of the gauze down securing it.

"Hehe, that tickles." Miller said as he giggled like a schoolgirl.

"She's taping gauze to your ass, you weirdo." Burk told him.

"You're checking out my ass. That's a red light offence, Sir." Miller told him, before he pushed up and looked at them all with a lit up expression as he pulled his pants up. "Hey, I got a joke." he said excitedly.

"No." Majority of Vulture team said in unison.

"No more jokes." Wolf groaned as the members of Vulture team heard every single joke Miller had or could invent ever since he got shot.

"Come on, I got shot in the ass." Miller begged pitifully.

"Let him have one joke." Naz told them, the team mates all exchanged tortured look.

"One and it better be the last." Burk told Miller firmly, he even held up one finger so Miller couldn't misunderstand him.

"How many navigators does it take to change a light bulb?" Miller asked, his team mates groaned in exasperation.

"You told this joke three hours ago." Azima said as she covered her face with her hands and rubbed at her eyes.

"How many?" Naz asked earning her a few glares, she just smiled as she was enjoying the easy camaraderie. She might not be one of them but she felt included even if they wished she'd stop Miller from telling jokes.

"Don't encourage him." Wolf groaned as he took a MRE pack that a crew member was handing out.

"One, if you can find it." Miller said to Naz, she wore a bemused look and Miller burst into laughter like it was the first time he heard it. Naz smiled as she finally clued in on the joke. Those around just shook their heads while those drugged off the noggins and still awake laughed in appreciation.

"Jesus, Miller." Burk said shaking his head at the young man.

"I'm on drugs." Miller informed them as he sighed and relaxed on the table. He pulled the pillow under his head and smiled; ready to go sleep when it came for him.

"Naz, up his dosage, please." Burk begged.

"Please, cut him off." Azima told her darkly as she was tired of the man's humour.

"Captain on Deck." Wolf announced, everyone in the room bar Naz stood to attention as Mike walked into the room.

"At ease, I just want to thank you all for your hard work and dedication. To let you know, in case you haven't heard, we have the seeds and a cure for the Red Rust. We'll be making a couple stops to replenish, refuel and send home our wounded. Then we'll be going home. Good work." He said repeating the speech he'd given the crew when Garnett had given him the latest round of orders and information on where to refuel the ship and the airfield they needed to get to. He watched Vulture team members sag in relief and smile as he shook hands with each of them.

"When you're finished, I'd like a word." Mike said to Naz in a quiet tone.

"Sure," Naz said, she peeled off her gloves and motioned for help. "Corpsman." she said, she gave him instructions and then followed Mike out the mess.

"I just saw Green, he's alive." Mike said making conversation as they moved through the ship.

"The bullet hit his scapula; the impact fractured the bone and deflected it downward into the body. His right lung is severely compromised and god knows what else, he's suffered massive blood loss and there's a high chance of infection." Naz told him, "But not from the infirmary or surgery." she added as if assuring him the negligence wasn't on Rios but her.

"We're going to be making port in the next few of hours. A plane will be at the local airfield ready to transport our wounded, along with all of Vellek's research, the seeds and the cure back to the US. Hopefully they'll be able to confirm the cure isn't tainted with Nostos. So they can release the little buggers to do their thing." Mike said as they passed through the helo bay and out onto the flight deck.

"That's great news. Rios said there should be more than enough to spread the cure around the world in half the time the red rust did. Maybe some crops will be salvageable." Naz said.

"Here's hoping." he said as they stood at the railing of the back of the ship. "Ah how's the arm?" he asked.

"Aching, all of me aches. How are you?" she asked genuinely curious not because she was making idle conversation.

"Tired, but happy we got away with minimal damage and no fatalities on our side." Mike answered.

"So, are you going to send me on my way when the ship makes port?" she asked, Mike frowned and she gave him a closed lip smile of acceptance to her fate. "Giorgio and Omar are dead." Naz added.

"You want to stay in Europe?" Mike asked her out of curiosity.

"God no," she scoffed, Mike ignored the sense of relief that washed through him at the answer. "But it's not on you to help me now the threat against my life is gone. You can leave me at the next port, your duty of care has already been met." She told him.

"I gave you my word and there are a lot of people who hate you for being a coalition soldier." Mike reminded her, she looked out to the ocean for a moment with a pinched expression.

"Can't be friends with everyone. So I'm releasing you from your obligation to me." She told him as she didn't want to be his fixer upper or burden.

"Tough, cause I don't accept that. We made a deal, I would get you home. I know I can't get you to Australia. But I can get you to America, help you make a home and a life. One thing you should know about me, I keep my word no matter what." Mike told her. Naz couldn't remember the last time someone kept their word and meant it; let alone follow through. Here he was not even taking the escape she was offering.

Overwhelmed by her own admiration of his kindness, his strength and gratitude for his words. She reached out to cup the side of his face with one hand and leaned in to cover her mouth with his. All her senses were magnified around him, sharpened. She was vividly aware of the starched fabric and hard warmth of the muscles beneath her hands, his clean, crisp scent as it wrapped around her and mixed in with the scent of the ocean. The soft prickle of his whiskers against her skin. It felt good, it felt real.

Awareness prickled through Mike as it had been a long time since he had intimate contact with a woman since Christine. He had figured this part of his life was over but apparently his body vehemently disagreed. Her lips were so soft and against his, and the kiss was so gentle—much gentler than he ever imagined.

Naz moved her lips over hers carefully. Not hesitant, but as though she wanted to learn and memorize the shape of them. And holy hell, was it hot. He knew he should pull away but instead he gripped the railing hard with his hand and his other stayed in his pocket to stop himself from pulling her against him and taking the kiss further.

At least that was the plan except his left hand was a traitorous asshole as it grasped her upper arm. His mouth slanted over hers allowing just a small selfish moment of pleasure, found the unique feel of her. Taste of her, he'd forgotten anything could be this physically soft, he'd forgotten how it felt to be kissed again. It felt amazing, exhilarating and relaxing at the same time.

Brushing another kiss over his mouth before she pulled back from the kiss. She wore a soft smile as her eyes were a little hazy with desire. Something neither had expected to feel given the turmoil and grief in their lives. But Mike felt exactly how she was looking at him, comfortable and yet a little befuddled as to why he should feel lucky to feel any chemistry with her at all. To feel anything with another woman after Christine's death was surprising and strangely reassuring

"Thank you." She said sincerely, a light blush gracing her cheeks. Mike blinked as he wasn't sure what he was being thanked for.

"You're welcome." He replied automatically as he wasn't sure what to say other than that. He did know he felt pretty damn good after that kiss. Reluctantly, he had to remember he was Captain of the ship and that meant maintaining a some decorum. He reluctantly dropped his hand from her arm and turned to face the ship there wasn't anyone around except for a couple crewmen on duty. They were looking outward to the ocean, but Mike wasn't worried about gossip. "Just so we're on the same page, please don't kiss every person you want to say 'thank you' to." he added jokingly.

"I'll only kiss you from here on out as I'm a firm believer of monogamy." She promised, they both looked at one another as an awkwardness filled the air. They barely knew one another and were embarking on something insane together, "This is going to be interesting." she remarked, Mike snorted a laugh as it wasn't far from the truth.

"Scrabble later?" he asked her, changing the topic.

"Sure, I've been released from the infirmary. So where will we play?" she asked, he pursed his lips considering where was the best place to go and ignoring the unintentional innuendo of her words. It was his quarters or the wardroom. After that kiss and wayward thoughts, it was probably best to play in public and keep things low key.

"Wardroom, 2000 hours." he said.

"I'll be there and you should prepare to lose as I'm not on drugs or near death anymore." she told him with a smile.


	22. Chapter 22

"Mike?" Tom prompted a few hours later. Mike tore his eyes away from Naz and looked to Tom who was now sober and no longer giggling about being a shit or making declarations of love or writing sonnets on how beautiful Sasha was. Much to Sasha's relief and the disappointment of the crew as their entertainment was finished for the day.

"We have the seeds. They look good and we salvaged what we could of Vellek's research, got our hands on some cured plants that are Nostos free, and plenty of bugs." he said catching the man up, he focused on Tom and Sasha as he spoke even though his awareness was on Naz. She helping Rios out. All he was thinking was about kissing her again. He cleared his throat and pulled his mind out of the gutter. "Doc Rios figures we can spread that cure around the world in half the time it took the Red Rust to poison it." he said.

"A hell of a stunt you pulled, ramming that ship." Tom told him referring to ramming the Nathan James into Vellek's vessel.

"I've seen crazier. Anyway, we found a port to refuel, and we got a plane on it's way to evacuate our wounded but it will take over a day to get to the airfield." Mike said with a sigh as he'd hoped for sooner but Andrea had done the best she could.

"Where we headed?" Tom asked.

"We're not too far from your old stomping grounds in Greece at the moment. So, you can decide if you wanna be dropped off or pick up your family to take the plane back to America. But now is the time to say so." he told him.

"If you afford a small detour, I'd appreciate it if we could pick up the kids." Tom admitted, He couldn't avoid the fact his life was in America. That he had re-enlisted to the Navy. His post was not the Nathan James but he knew it wasn't in Europe either.

"We'll work around it. I'll make sure Garnett knows you're coming back on the flight with the injured crew." Mike said, Tom shook his head. He needed more time before he got back. He needed time with his kids and well, Sasha. Nathan James allowed him that time before he returned to America and had to relearn living with his notoriety.

"I was hoping that maybe I could convince you and Sasha to get the kids, take us the long way home?" Tom asked, hopeful that Mike wouldn't shoot him down. The Nathan James was a military vessel not a family cruise. Mike winced at the suggestion, Tom looked to Sasha who also wore a weird expression.

"I'm sorry, I can't. Excuse me." Sasha said much to the surprise of both men. She hopped off the makeshift bed and walked away before either of them could say anything. She spoke with Rios for a minute before leaving the room.

"I forgot for a moment that Sasha only wants to be impersonal." Tom said with a sigh, Mike wasn't surprised.

"Or she is exhausted, Sasha's been working nonstop. She needs downtime. We all do." Mike said diplomatically, he hoped Tom took the hint he was giving the man.

"I was only gone for 16 months. It wasn't a holiday." Tom said, Mike took a breath and looked up for a moment trying to find the right words.

"It wasn't a dig at you. I was saying that Sasha is entitled to exhausted and take time off for herself." Mike said, hoping that Tom had an iota of intelligence that wasn't fried from drugs to read between the lines. To remember that Sasha was dealing with a lot more than anyone knew and strangely had nothing to do with Tom.

"You say that but I would like to know how long I will be apologising for leaving." Tom told him.

"Missing my point entirely." Mike informed him, though he had to wonder if he'd been too subtle, "But you'll figure it out when you're back home." He added, he was not going to help his friend out given he felt it would be detrimental to his friendships with both Tom and Sasha.

"About that, I want to stay on the ship." Tom said, letting Mike's weirdness go as he was right. He was still affected by the meds Rios had given him. All he could think about was how he was at fault and every reason he came back to something he'd done.

"You're injured, you're going back stateside, it's non negotiable unless you want me to me to let SECNAV know you're using your annual leave less than a month on the job to stay in Europe. Your choice but you're not staying on the ship with your injury and the kids for the entire voyage home." Mike said bluntly, he knew it was harsh but it was ridiculous for Tom to keep avoiding home. He was useless to Meylan and Mike at this point.

But more importantly Mike wanted to protect Sasha, he knew Sasha's third wedding anniversary would've been in a couple of days. Birthdays and Anniversaries were the hardest days to endure after the death of a loved one. Mike knew from personal experience how painful it was to wake up and realise your life wasn't how it was supposed to be, the grief of a future lost and never being with those you truly cherished again. It was a pain like no other. While the grief might lessen and change over times. Those special days sometimes brought it all back raw and fresh as the first year of grieving.

Mike knew Sasha would do or say something she'd regret to Tom later just to be alone and protect herself. He knew because he could be a real bastard when his wedding anniversary came around. He did his best to lock himself away for the day or remained as quiet as possible because he knew the pain would pass and he'd regret anything he would say.

"Trying to get rid of me?" Tom asked him wryly.

"Yes, I don't like kids on the ship unless it's a last resort. This is not last resort and we have enough Captains to get us back to Norfolk." Mike said with a wry grin.

"That hurts." Tom told him mockingly. He knew he had to go as Mike was right about it all. His kids were well behaved but even they'd get restless after a few days on the Nathan James with nothing to do. "Is Sasha and Naz leaving with me?" he asked out of curiosity.

"No, Sasha's staying on board. As is Naz, she has a medium risk of having another 'heart episode' as Rios likes to call them. Rule of thumb is to wait 10 days before getting on a plane after your second episode." Mike informed him.

"I'm surprised Sasha would stay." Tom said as he ignored the guilt he felt over Naz. It was his fault that Naz had a second 'heart episode' that bumped her into the medium risk category. He really needed to apologise for that incident before it became a larger issue.

"The mission might be over the paperwork begins." Mike remarked as he checked his watch. "Speaking of, we'll be at Katakolo by dawn, I want this to be a quick pick up." He told him, making it clear that he was doing Tom a favour by detouring the ship.

"Then it's best I come with you then." Tom said.

"What about your leg?" Mike asked given a few minutes ago he wasn't going to go.

"I can manage it with crutches. If I can't, I'll wait at the pier. But it will move things along faster, if I'm there." Tom told him, Mike nodded as he wasn't going to argue with him.

"Ok, I'll get everything arranged. You rest up." Mike said, Tom gave a nod and he dropped his head back down on the pillow and closed his eyes.

* * *

"I'm stealing your pillow and turning off the lights." Naz told Sasha as she came into their quarters. Sasha with her injuries and the exhaustion she felt. She hadn't been able to climb to the top bunk.

"Go ahead, I couldn't get up there if I tried." Sasha said wincing at her voice and because she was a lousy roommate as she had stolen Naz's bed. She was not willing to give it up as every fibre of her body wanted to lay completely still and ignore all the physical and emotional pain. Naz pulled down the pillow, the next thing Sasha knew it was pitch black, Naz was presumably on the floor at an odd angle. Half her legs on the bed, that much Sasha knew as she felt Naz's feet touch her calf before they moved away.

"Oh, that feels good." Naz said with a groan of relief.

"How's Green going?" Sasha asked.

"Stable, he woke up just as I left which is a good sign. I'm told he'll be flying out with the others day after tomorrow." Naz said.

"You going with them?" Sasha asked.

"Nope, my bum ticker puts me on a no fly list for 10 days. Rios assures me that I'm fine but doesn't want to test fate by putting me on a plane. You?" Naz asked her.

"I don't know." Sasha said, there was comfort in being in the dark. She didn't have to worry about being read. Though she knew Naz wasn't one to pry. There were many things she could do stateside but she also had a lot she had to do the ship too.

"I know Tom is going. I overheard Mike telling him that he either had to use his annual leave and stay in Europe or fly back to the States." Naz said casually.

"Seriously?" Sasha asked surprised as she figured Mike was Tom's friend first. That he'd let Tom stay on the ship even with the kids. But now, it seemed like he was putting her first, she had told Mike about Daniel, she wondered if he was protecting her by putting space between her and Tom. It was wise and in knowing Tom would be going, it made her want to stay on the ship even more. She could finish her paperwork and make plans for when she got back to the states, all with the added bonus of Tom not lurking around every corner.

"Yeah, Mike doesn't want the kids on the ship. He also laid down some pretty heavy hints to go back to the states. I get the feeling Mike wants to separate you two." Naz said with a yawn.

"What did they say?" Sasha asked.

"Tom looked miffed about you wanting to be impersonal with him, he's wondering how long he had to keep apologising for his sabbatical. Mike mentioned that maybe you just needed some downtime and that you'd been working nonstop since before the pandemic like everyone else. I hope Tom gets the hint and pisses off. You ever notice how everyone just gets weird around him? It's like they want to just yell and throw shit at him but can't cause he's a captain?" Naz said.

"No, I haven't." Sasha said honestly, but had to admit she had been focused more on the mission than morale. But she did have to admit she had her moments when she wanted to yell and throw shit at Tom but then he was so easy to be angry at. So easy to blame for damn near everything. "You sound like you're not a fan of Captain Chandler?" Sasha asked with a sardonic chuckle as she didn't want to think about Tom in regards to herself. It just made her feel deeply hostile at the moment, she knew once she passed this week and didn't feel physically ill and hurting; she'd feel differently but right now? there was no hope of good feelings.

"No, I'm not. In fairness, I have my reasons and I'm sure once I get know him that could change. I just don't want it to be a thing between us. I like having you as my friend, I'll support you no matter what." Naz told her. Sasha smiled as she felt the same.

"It won't get between us. Tom and I aren't going to be something." Sasha assured her as she told Tom she wanted to be impersonal. At first she thought it was about Fletcher, Tom and the last seventeen months. But, then Tom had spouted crap about them getting married and her being a great mom. Yeah, he was on drugs and it was meaningless, until her eyes hit the date written on her chart. She felt like her whole world bottomed out.

There on the chart marked the fact she was two days away from what would've been her third wedding anniversary. She had hoped it would pass easier than it had last two but no such luck. She felt the ache inside she had long buried, unfurl and stretch as if in preparation. It reminded her of how she'd never really taken the time to grieve. It made her realise how deeply she missed Daniel and the life they had spent together, the plans they had for their life; her deepest wishes that never came to be. She wanted Tom as far away from her as possible because if she were brutally honest; she didn't want Tom, she wanted Daniel. Tom may have been her first love but Daniel was the love of her life.

"Something happen?" Naz asked with concern.

"No, the mission went great. We made a really good team." Sasha pressed her hands to her eyes wishing she could keep the tears inside. "I just-" she sighed as she couldn't be bothered to lie, "it's my wedding anniversary in two days. I know it's stupid and I should be over it but I would've been married for three years, I would've had at least two kids. I just miss him, I miss Daniel and I'm just really tired of pretending I'm OK all the damn time." Sasha told her a hushed yet pained voice. Saying his name out loud for the first time in over a year and confessing something she had only told one other person since Daniel's death felt good. It still hurt but a tension within her loosened and released.

"It's not stupid. I don't think there's a time limit on how much or how long you should grieve. You do what you gotta do, I will say what is stupid, is the lack of alcohol on this ship. There is porn readily available on this ship but no booze." Naz told her, Sasha gave a watery laugh as she could definitely do with a laugh. "I feel like we need to get stupid drunk or at least tipsy and just shoot the breeze about our past beaus. I think it would feel better to just relax and talk about the people we lose from time to time than pretending they never existed at all. I know, I would feel better for it." She added.

"Yeah, it doesn't sound like a bad idea." Sasha said in hushed agreement but she just wasn't ready to talk. Naz was right, with some alcoholic lubrication and the right setting she could probably talk about Daniel for days. Hell, she had with Mike and he'd shared about his family. It had felt strangely cathartic and good even if it hurt a little. "I have a little something stashed away." Sasha admitted.

"I'd love a drink but right now, I have a few hours until I see Mike for Scrabble. I don't want to get us into trouble. I should behave myself." Naz said with a reluctant sigh, Sasha smiled for the first time in hours. It was true, Mike would not like them getting drunk on the ship. Alcohol wasn't a heavily restricted substance. But she liked the idea of just taking a breather and talking about her past in a relaxing setting.

"Maybe another day." Sasha said, she kind of got the vibe that something was definitely going on between Naz and Mike. That Scrabble might even be some kind of 'date' or flirtation move given Mike had never offered to play the game with her.

"Definitely." Naz said with a yawn.

"What time is your date?" Sasha asked, latching onto it because she just needed a distraction from what she was feeling. She had to admit the idea of Mike dating seemed adorable and hysterical at the same time.

"8pm, but it's not a date. It's scrabble." Naz told her.

"Sounds like a date" Sasha teased, "I think you should dress up." she added, Naz made a small whimper which made Sasha snigger with glee.

* * *

Later that evening,

"Periagua?! That's not a word." Naz told him, Mike wore a smug grin as he sat back in chair watching her flip over the word that won him a triple word score. It was also cute how thick her Australian accent was when she was annoyed. She went from fairly civilized mono accent to sounding like Wolf which made him really appreciate that he didn't know this woman. But he liked every new facet of her personality and quirks that came out the more time they spent together.

"It's word even if you can't pronounce properly." Mike assured her, Naz glowered at him as she knew he was mocking her accent which only made him grin wider. "It's a small flat bottom boat like a canoe." Mike told her, Naz narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously as he'd placed down a few very questionable words during their game.

"Sounds like a dodgy to me. There's no dictionary on ship, is there?" Naz asked wryly.

"Nope, you'll just have to take my word for it." Mike told her in a smart ass manner, Naz glowered at the pun before she changed the topic.

"So how did you get into Scrabble?" she asked him as she placed her tiles on the board. She stretched her arms over her head, her body sore from standing all day and sleeping on the floor until Sasha woke her up to show up for scrabble game.

Sasha seemed to be in a slightly better mood as she teased Naz that it was a date. She'd even given Naz her dark red semi sheer long sleeve top and singlet, as it was a great colour on her. Naz knew grief would ebb and flow until Sasha's anniversary passed. So until then, Naz made a mental note to give Sasha space and support she needed in the few days. She knew Sasha needed her to play a wall between her and the wall, that much was clear as Sasha might have dressed her up but she had also crawled back into bed instead of leaving their quarters. Naz wasn't worried given she was fairly mentally unbalanced herself but she did know that given Sasha opened up to her, it was a good sign she'd ask for help if it all got too much.

"Mom paid me $10 for every game I won from when I was kid to the time I could get a job." Mike told her, he adjusted their scores before he looked at his tiles. Naz smiled as she could just see him as a little boy concentrating very hard to pick his tiles and use them well.

"How often did you win?" Naz asked out of curiosity, she pulled out new tiles from the bag for her next turn.

"Not a lot, my Mom was a spelling bee champ but I can be very competitive and losing motivates me to do better." Mike told her as he waited for her to put down her word.

"$10 is like a million dollars to a kid or 100 gummy lollies from the local tuck shop." Naz calculated with an amusement, she looked between the tiles on her rack and the board.

"I guess I know where your pocket money was spent." Mike said in amusement.

"Yep, I'm not a slob because my parents paid me to keep my room clean. Not to toot my own horn but it was immaculate and I'd even clean some of the house because my Dad was always leaving spare change around. Though now that I think about it, that might have been on purpose to make me clean with me thinking I was being sneaky." Naz told him with a soft reminiscent smile.

"That didn't work for my kids." Mike told her.

"Obviously you weren't paying them enough." Naz teased,

"No, Christine just gave them money whenever they asked for it which defeated the whole purpose of the exercise." Mike told her, he smiled because even though he felt an ache in his heart from mentioning his family. It felt good to share the fonder memories but then all the memories seemed fond. "I didn't get that luxury growing up." he added thinking on his childhood.

"No?" she asked.

"Single mother, she worked two jobs. So I felt the least I could do was keep my room clean and help out with the house." Mike said.

"Oh, well aren't you a good son." She said with a warm smile.

"I was, so were you an only child?" he asked her.

"No, three older brothers and then huge extended family. I haven't spoken to them in a while due to my work. Now, I'm pretty sure they'd dodge my call." Naz said pragmatically as she placed her tiles on the board.

"Tranquil." he said as he read the word she placed on the board. Naz picked up the bag and took out two tiles to replace the ones she played. "Why?" he asked her, trying not be incredulous given it wasn't like she was Josef Mengele of Medics during the war.

"You forget that I'm naturally immune which means some of my family is too. They would've loved that stupid rhetoric about being chosen by God. They see things very much in black and white. If something doesn't fit, they ignore it as if it doesn't exist." she remarked nonchalantly. as she watched Mike adjust her score and looked at his tiles.

"Well, the US were able to negotiate an agreement with Australia. In exchange for the red rust cure they will provide restitution. They won't allow you or any of the other conscripted soldiers to return to Australia but they have agreed to unfreeze your bank accounts, super and will liquidate any assets or holding you have in Australia and transferring the funds from the sale to your bank account. It's not much." Mike conceded.

"But it's something." Naz finished in a tired tone, she knew it would help many people even though the economy had tanked, it meant those families and people could get a much needed leg up. It also meant she wasn't entirely dependent on Mike which was good for Naz's self esteem.

"Yes." Mike said in agreement even if he felt it wasn't enough. "You know, I wanted to thank you for your help today." he added, as he changed the topic, they had so much to get angry or depressed about that he just wanted to keep everything light and fun.

"What? No 'Thank you' kiss?" she teased. Mike snorted a laugh but before he could reply she kept talking. Closing the matter of a kiss completely. "You're welcome and it felt good to be useful or as useful as I could with this cast on." Naz said honestly.

"It saved Green." Mike pointed out.

"It was a team effort but I am accepting all candy bars and food as a form of gratitude." Naz half joked. Mike chuckled as he already knew she had small stash of candy. Where the crew had been hiding it all was beyond him.

"I heard they were being generous with you." Mike commented with a grin.

"I can give them back." She said.

"You can give them to me." Mike offered,

"Yeah, no." she shook her head much to Mike's shock and amusement. "Maybe I'll share it on a special occasion for now I'm saving it. Speaking of saving, I heard we're picking up some kids tomorrow." Naz said before Mike could convince her to share her bounty with him. Mike smiled and gave a nod.

"Tom's kids. We'll go grab them and return to the ship. Then we make course for Naples, transfer our wounded and the cure over to C130. Then set course for home." he told her, he wished he hadn't offered to collect Tom's kids. He wanted to help his friend out but he could see it was damaging crew morale to have to delay their port call and the transfer of the wounded off the ship. There was the fact it smacked of nepotism didn't go down to well either. But Mike knew in the long run, he'd be forgiven and would learn for the future.

"You still sure about us?" she asked him referring to their agreement.

"100%, we already sealed it with a kiss." Mike reminded her with a sly smile as he placed his tiles down.

"Are you kidding me?! Zeugma?" she asked incredulously as he placed yet another obscure word.

"Double word score." he said with grin as she still mispronounced the word.

"No. New rule; no more weird words until there is a dictionary to prove it's real." Naz told him firmly.

"The only thing that is weird, is your limited vocabulary and poor spelling skills." Mike teased her.

"Use 'Zeugma' in an everyday sentence." She demanded in a playful yet uppity manner. Mike frowned as she had him there. She knew he couldn't do it. "See, obscure. No more obscure words until there is a dictionary and the new rule starts after this one. So you get your score but no more." she told him firmly, Mike held his hands up in surrender.

"Ok, but only until we have a dictionary." Mike conceded, "I'll get you the biggest one I can find as an engagement gift." he added, he chuckled as Naz made a cute annoyed face at him.

* * *

The following morning,

Ashley looked down at the small fare of food on her plate. It wasn't enough to keep her going but she was used to the gnawing ache of hunger in her stomach. She couldn't remember a time when she was more exhausted and hungry in her life. But the food was scarcer than ever, every day the fishermen came back with less food and another day one of them disappeared into Nostos; giving up.

Ashley saw the addicts every day on her way to work. She didn't know whether to be envious of them or pity them. If she didn't have job, she was pretty sure she'd try it but Sammy and Yaya needed her to work. They needed the food she could provide. She liked the sense of responsibility of working and gratitude in being able to contribute to the household in a substantial way. Even if there were days she just wanted to disappear and Nostos seemed like an easy escape. She liked the idea of seeing Mom again as she was starting to forget the small things like the sound of her laugh and she missed her being around. She missed the way they used to go on shopping trips, of when her Mom would trim her fringe and they'd talk about stupid stuff.

"Eat Ashley, you have a long day but tonight we'll have a feast." Yaya told her with an excited smile. It didn't quite reach her eyes as it used to when Alex was alive. But every day, Yaya woke up before sunrise with Ashley. She made Ashley breakfast and claimed they would eat a feast.

"There isn't any fish out there for a feast, Yaya." Ashley told her, as the day never ended with a feast but at least they had each other.

"You never know what the nets will drag in." Yaya told her as she gently pushed the plate closer to Ashley in a silent way of saying 'eat'.

* * *

"You ok?" Naz asked, Sasha had been halfway through dressing when she just gave up and crawled back into her bunk. She knew there was an emotional component to why Sasha was struggling but the medic side of her was wondering if the smoke inhalation was worse than previously diagnosed.

"I'm just exhausted." Sasha half lied, the truth was she just couldn't face today. Everything hurt and she was just plain exhausted. Maybe there were other reasons she didn't want to get up but she didn't want to analyse. She wanted to lay in bed, sleep until she felt some sense of motivation to move.

"Ok, want me to grab you something from the mess?" Naz asked, she would make sure Sasha had provisions and then stop by Rios' to talk about her new rash on her arm that she felt was coming from the cast which was weirdly starting to crumble. Hopefully she could pepper in some subtle questions about Sasha's condition.

"Yeah, if it's not too much." Sasha said as she tucked the pillow under her head and tried to not let everything she was feeling show on her face. She knew given she'd seen Naz at her weakest that the woman wouldn't betray hers to the world outside that door.

"No worries." Naz assured her with a smile, she moved to the door and just as she opened Sasha spoke up.

"If anyone asks, can you tell them I'm sleeping and don't want to be disturbed?" Sasha asked her, she had a feeling Tom would try and search her out or even Azima. She just couldn't handle seeing anyone. Naz being the only exception as they had to share their quarters.

"Yeah," Naz said, she frowned, "Are you sure you're ok? I mean physically, if you need more meds just say the word." she told her.

"I'm fine, I just need to sleep." Sasha told her, Naz nodded accepting her answer before she left room. Once the door closed. Sasha tugged the blankets tight around her and closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

"Leisurely hike, my ass." Mike said to Tom as they walked up the hill.

Wolf was already at the top, the Australian was of course uninjured bar his concussion and managed to streak ahead of them while Diaz and a crewman stayed with the RHIB at the pier making certain no one took off with it.

So far Mike could not see the appeal given the town was littered with Nostos users and a few fishermen who'd managed to get up from their stupor and head out. The village looked decrepit and derelict, it was like every town Mike had been too since the pandemic and Immune wars in Europe. The only thing it had going was a beautiful view of the ocean.

"I don't remember it being this steep." Tom said as they were only halfway up.

"We got old." Mike told him.

"I prefer the term 'Older', it sounds more dignified." Tom quipped.

"Yeah, you keep thinking that." Mike told him.

"So, I didn't see Sasha at breakfast this morning." Tom remarked as he didn't want to talk about his age as it made him feel slow and creaky. Given he was crutches and sweating. It was not inspiring thoughts of youth and vigour in him.

"What's the end game there?" Mike asked him, his tone sharp. He hadn't meant to be harsh but he was stuck between two friends.

He felt like Tom was in a better head space to handle him being harsh; where Sasha just didn't need it. Hell, Mike knew how Sasha felt, the raw feelings of Grief and questioning everything you felt and wanted. But Nostos had awoken a whole new level of pain within him, it seemed only Naz could salve the wounds. She didn't do anything special, it was just knowing she understood he was pain and how it felt firsthand. It was enough to bring him comfort and to not feel as if he were abnormal for experiencing what he was feeling.

"I don't know." Tom said honestly, it wasn't entirely true but he couldn't form actual sentences to tell Mike what he was doing. "We- there's something still there even after all the years that have passed. I wasn't in the right head space 16 months ago to really get into it." Tom admitted.

"And you are now?" Mike asked.

"I like to think so. I'm not ignoring the fact that I have problems but I'm working on them. I've been with other women. I know I can be in another relationship. I want to remarry one day. I can see myself doing that with Sasha." Tom said, he knew he wanted a relationship. He wanted Sasha, she was a connection to his past and present. There was just something between them he was now ready to explore.

"How do you know that?" Mike asked, as he felt like everything Tom was saying was just wrong. But at the end of the day, if Tom and Sasha made it work then who was Mike to judge. Tom narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"Are you testing me?" Tom asked as he felt like Mike was being overprotective of Sasha and taking personal digs at him.

"No, I'm just curious. We were married for nearly the same length of time give or take a few years. I wonder how you knew you were ready to move on. I also wonder how you can look at Sasha who you haven't seen her in over 14 years and know you could marry her when you don't know her at all." Mike said, Tom frowned as he wondered why Mike would say that but also the trickle of dread it gave him.

"I do know Sasha." Tom argued, Mike looked unconvinced and he wondered if Mike was tainted by their 16 month break. That he was not so accepting of Tom's actions as Tom once thought.

"I would argue that you don't." Mike said in a tone that said he didn't want to argue, just that he didn't share Tom's views on the matter. "But I see no point in arguing as I really want to know how you know you're ready to move on." Mike said directing the conversation away from Sasha.

"I thought you were still looking for Christine and the girls." Tom remarked in confusion.

"I found out what happened to them. They're gone. They've been gone for over two years." Mike said, he tried to say 'dead' but it was a struggle to get the word out. He hoped one day he could talk about it freely but at the moment it was too close to grain. He just didn't want to go there.

"I'm so sorry." Tom told him with a pained expression. It hit home how much he'd missed while he was gone. He wanted to believe he needed the separation from everyone had been beneficial not just for him but all of them. But now in hindsight it was more damaging than he'd ever realised.

"Me too. But life goes on." Mike said in a manner that Tom interpreted to mean 'do not go there'. As much as Tom wanted to know the details he let it go.

"So, all these questions. Do they have something to do with Naz?" Tom asked as he'd completely misread the situation of Mike's questions. "I saw you watching her yesterday. I don't really see the point of going there given her citizen status is ambiguous at best. She might only be looking for a green card." Tom warned him.

"You really don't like her." Mike said with a laugh, Tom frowned as he had felt he was being kind. At least kind in being Mike's friend and pointing out something obvious as he wanted Mike to have a good experience when he re-enter the world of dating.

"I don't know her very well. But I wouldn't blame her for wanting the security of being married to an American to gain citizenship. Maybe you should go for a woman who-"

"Is American." Mike finished in amusement, Tom cringed at how vaguely racist Mike made him feel for suggesting as much.

"Yes, at least you don't have to worry about her being deported. Garnett has to be single, you two get along well." Tom said, Mike frowned feeling insulted on Andrea's behalf as well as his own. He knew Tom was being flip but it was a little on the nose.

"Andrea's engaged and 4 months pregnant. She claims to be in love, so I'd say that ship has sailed." Mike informed him mockingly, Tom blinked in surprise but then Mike couldn't help but empathise a little. He had been surprised when Andrea had said she'd found someone and was having another kid. But he was genuinely happy for her, as she had really closed herself after losing her family. But it had changed and for the better as she deserved all the happiness she could get in life after losing her family.

"I really checked out." Tom commented as he realised he knew nothing about what was going on with friends.

"Yeah, you did and I think you'd be surprised by Naz." Mike told him, he was half tempted to be snarky and say if Tom bothered to even ask anyone how they were and what they'd been up to then maybe he would be more in tune with them. But he was trying to repair their friendship not tear it apart.

"I prefer not to be, given I imagine her surprise for me would be a swift kick up the ass." Tom joked.

"Like you don't deserve it." Mike said in amusement, Tom shook his head at him. But Mike didn't given him any mind. "Though if she was motivated, she'd probably kick you in the bad leg to make it really hurt." Mike said thoughtfully.

"She tell you that?" Tom asked drily.

"No, but it's what I'd do." Mike told him with a smart ass smile.

"That's real nice." Tom told him wryly.

"You still haven't answered my question." Mike reminded him, Tom wondered which one; his end game with Sasha or how he knew he was ready to move on. Choosing the latter seemed like the safest to choose out the two.

"Honestly, I don't think I'll ever get past Darien's death. I will always carry that with me, I felt guilty for moving on the first time. But I was lonely, I missed having someone in my corner like Darien had been. I did feel guilty I should want to move on so quickly but I don't like being alone. I know this about myself." Tom replied in a thoughtful manner.

"Rachel?" Mike asked, Tom shook his head even though he knew it was a lie but he just wanted to keep some things close to his chest. No matter how perceptive Mike was. "You two seemed to have a bit of vibe." Mike said vaguely but Tom shook his head.

"No, I cared for Rachel. No doubt. But I don't think I would've dated her." Tom lied, he didn't know what would've happened with Rachel. But like his past with Sasha; he just wasn't comfortable sharing it all; even with Mike. But then part of him felt Mike deserved some truth. "Sasha walked back into my life like this blast from the past. I was too messed up to give her what I thought she needed. I- you saw me, I couldn't be the man she thought I was or who she wanted. I think part of the reason I left was that I didn't want to disappoint her or worse; watch her die. I felt a little cursed after Darien and Rachel. So, I ran and I came here, it was where we would take the kids for holidays every few years. It just felt like the right place to be." Tom said tilting his head to indicate their location. He gave a sigh as it had been familiar territory that gave him comfort.

"Didn't seem to help." Mike remarked.

"Yeah, well that's more my fault than the location. Alex and Yaya are family to me. After losing Dad, I needed help with the kids, I needed time to just grieve." Tom confessed, the words left his mouth and it hit him what Mike had been saying yesterday about Sasha. She was grieving her husband and he was a moron prattling on like it was all about him. For some reason, there was relief in knowing it wasn't his fault.

"I met Cali, she works in the restaurant, I saw her every day. I fell into the relationship with her. I don't think I was really ready for it. But I learnt a lot about myself and what I wanted. Though if I were brutally honest, I don't think I know how to be alone or a single father. But I know I don't do it well." Tom said with a sardonic laugh. "But then I've never been single for long periods of time." He added with a cringe as it made him sound like a player when he wasn't.

"It's not hard." Mike told him.

"I disagree. I think I'm not built for it. Sasha and I broke up, four months later I was dating Darien. 8 months after Darien's death, I started dating Cali." Tom confessed, he wasn't sure he liked this conversation as he didn't like how introspective it was.

It didn't solve his current problems as he thought of how he wanted to be in a relationship with Sasha but he didn't know the first thing to do to win her back to him. Then he wondered how he could possibly be a suitable partner when he barely had his life together. He barely knew how his life would look like when he got home and once they left Greece; he had no safety net of Yaya. But he knew it was time, just like he had with the crew. He had to pull on his big boy shorts and be the man his father would be proud of and a proper father to his kids.

"You should try being single, you learn a lot about yourself." Mike told him, dragging Tom out his grim thoughts. Tom frowned as he knew Mike was right. Tom knew he had to learn to be strong on his own and give Sasha the time she needed to grieve.

"Like what? Your left hand is better than your right?" Tom asked mockingly.

"I have no favourites as each hand is special and talented in its own way." Mike deadpanned. Tom burst out laughing at his friend.

"Uncle Mike? Dad?" Ashley said.

Tom sobered from the humour to see Ashley coming down towards them. Tom couldn't help but notice the changes in her as she had grown taller, reed thin and looking exhausted. It made feel like he'd been gone for months instead of weeks. Her eyes were dull as she looked deeply resigned to a hell she hadn't chosen. Guilt ate at him as he was responsible for that.

"Ashley." Tom said in greeting, he remembered when she used to run and give him a hug. But she had clearly grown out of it. She was dressed in shorts and t-shirt that had Pier's logo on the front. She carried a shoulder bag across her chest. She gripped the strap in her hands in a slightly defensive manner.

"What are you doing here?" She asked him, it came out like a demand. As if Tom was unwelcome, he didn't bother to look at Mike to know he was going to be reading and judging the situation.

"It's time to go home." Tom told her, her eyes narrowed at him as she understood his choice of words.

"I am home and I have to get to work." Ashley informed him.

"Ash, we're going back to the States. So, you're going to have to call in and quit as we're leaving as soon as possible." Tom told her, her expression became pinched as she clearly didn't like being told what to do. It wasn't untypical for a girl her age.

Mike watched the two as he remembered Courtney hitting that rebellious stage Ashley was displaying. It was a real tough stage for him as she had had an independent streak a mile wide. He figured she'd do something truly amazing, but she was gone, the grief that used to be a baseball bat to gut was more of a tempered pain. He just breathed through it until it ebbed away.

"Are you kidding me?" Ashley said darkly as she wasn't happy at all by the news.

"No, I'm not. We're packing up and catching a flight out of Naples in nearly 32 hours. We're going back to Norfolk. So, go and tell them you're leaving. I'll pack up your stuff and we'll meet you and the pier." Tom told her, laying out in terse terms what was happening. Mike felt for them as their relationship seemed damaged from his point of view. He could see the pain and anger in Ashley's expression.

"No." Ashley told him.

"Ashley, I said it's time to go, you will follow my orders or I'll make you." Tom told her in a firm tone that brokered no argument. She knew that he would make her go as he had over a year ago when he made her and Sammy leave everything they knew behind.

"Fine. I'll be there in an hour." Ashley agreed in a cutting tone, Mike and Tom stepped out of the way as she walked past them in a upset huff.

"Well, that was a warm welcome." Tom said drily. Mike felt sorry for the man as he either didn't see what he had or was ignoring it completely in the hopes it would right itself.

* * *

"Here." Naz said as she held out a cup to Kara, she had been sitting with Danny ever since he'd come out of surgery. She highly doubted she had slept. If she had, it was very little and awkwardly on the stool she sat on.

"Thank you." Kara said as she took the drink. She took a sip and frowned looking down at the purple mixture. "What is this?" she asked as it tasted sickly sweet with a off note to it.

"Electrolytes with dissolvable aspirin. Pain relief with a bit of Pep. That arm has to hurt." Naz said as she pulled up a stool next to the bed and stroked the soft fur of Halsey's head. The dog perked up at the attention and got up; padded towards Naz before he sat down in between her legs and pushed his head into her hands; directing her to where he wanted to be scratched. "You're a very demanding puppy." Naz cooed at Halsey as she scratched him behind the ear. The dog's tail thumped happily on the floor enjoying the attention.

"He can be." Kara said with a soft smile, she knew that she should remind Naz that Halsey was a working dog. But then she was guilty of overindulging Halsey herself. "Danny's sleeping a lot." Kara remarked as she looked at Danny, he looked terrible and she knew he still needed surgery. The confident and experienced Sailor of herself understood what Rios had told her about Danny's condition and the logistics of getting him stateside was going to take at least two days. Purely because they weren't near the port and the C130 just wasn't in Naples yet.

But the wife and woman in love side of her, just felt anxious and riddled with an unsettled feeling that all would not be well. The fact they were just sitting around while Captain Chandler picked up his kids, it just rubbed her the wrong way. She wanted the ship to be on it's way to Naples. Not stationary off the coast of Pelopennese for Captain Chandler especially given he was ambulatory and could easily make his way back to the states instead of slowing them down.

She rationally knew she was being stupid but it felt like everything was going too slowly when she wanted to just rush forward. She wanted to get to Naples, she wanted to get Danny on the plane and to the medical team that were going to meet them. She wanted the cure to be on it's way back to the US so she didn't have to worry about Frankie not getting enough food or having no food. With all the concerns for her family and their future, it was hard to internally calm herself back to a more rational state.

"It's a good thing." Naz assured her.

"Rios said he'll need more surgery." Kara added before she took a sip of her drink. She winced at the flavour but the ache in her arm and her sore butt muscles motivated her to keep drinking.

"Yep, and probably a year to fully recover given the amount of tissue and nerve damage. But Rios is the best person to ask these questions or whoever takes over as his primary physician stateside." Naz said, for some reason Kara found confidence in Naz's calm and casual demeanour. She didn't seem to hide anything unlike Rios.

Though in fairness, Kara felt Rios had so many patients to care for that his reticence to share had more to do with his attention being diverted on so many people. Than about him being purposefully deceitful to make her feel better.

"It won't be easy. I've been where Danny is, and my husband, Elias was a bloody saint. He really helped me through it even though I was a total child about it." Naz told her.

"Great, so you're saying I'm going to have two children instead of one." Kara said with a laugh that was more sardonic than happy. She could see Danny being a pain in the ass. He was a pain in the ass when he was injured as he just wanted to get recover faster which in his brain translated to keep moving and push yourself instead of resting.

"How old is the smallest?" Naz asked mockingly as she continued to rub her good hand over Halsey's head. The dog closed his eyes like he was in nirvana.

"18 months. His name is Frankie." Kara said, she pulled out her iPhone and pulled up a photo to show Naz.

"Awwh, he's adorable and Frankie is a great name." Naz said with a warm smile. Kara preened like a proud mama as she loved when people complimented Frankie.

"Thank you. I'm very lucky considering how much everyone has lost." Kara said as she felt the need to acknowledge that she knew many people weren't. She didn't take that for granted.

"Even so, it's ok to be a little bent out of shape. I imagine it's hard being away from your child and you're handling this "she gestured at Danny "pretty well." She said.

"It's all internalised. So outwardly, I'm cool but inside is another story." Kara said, Naz chuckled.

"It won't be as bad as you're imagining it. He still has all his arms and legs." Naz assured her.

"No? cause I was thinking of taking sea duty as soon as we get back. Leave Danny and Frankie to fend for themselves so I don't have to think about it." Kara half joked.

She wasn't planning on abandoning her family, but she had to admit she missed being the ship and being TAO. There was some value in the idea of sea duty while Danny was on leave when he was capable of taking care of himself and Frankie. But she brushed off the thought as it was a long shot and it made her sound like a bad parent to want to put in some career time over being a Mom.

"Not a bad idea. Just remember to say 'Tag, you're it' before you head out the door." Naz joked as she leaned over and gave Halsey a belly rub. Kara couldn't help but laugh with her as she could just see Danny's shocked face if she did leave but also at Halsey's antics.

Though she had to admit it would be nice to see Danny home and to see him struggle with handling Frankie on a day to day basis. But also bonding with him, Danny hadn't had much time off in the past 16 months given the situation. Luckily, Frankie was young enough to not remember Danny's absence. But she hoped Danny would get more time now and even after he recovered to be with the family.

"I really should exercise him before my shift." Kara said looking at Halsey. She remembered she had duty in two hours and needed to have a shower. Not too mention get something to eat.

"I can do that. It's not like I got much to do and he likes me." Naz said with a grin.

"Are you sure?" Kara asked, she was so focused on Danny and months of being in Rota on her own for most part she had completely forgotten the offers her friends had made to help out.

"Yeah, we'll be ok. I assume I can safely put him on the treadmill and let it do the job?" Naz asked, Kara wore an amused smile and nodded.

"Yes, his leash is here. Captain Slattery and Meylan don't like Halsey to walk off the leash while he's on the ship unless he's in Danny's quarters." Kara said as she handed Naz Halsey's leash. She had to admit she felt reticent to do so. Sure, Halsey was an easy going dog but right now with Danny injured. She wasn't sure he'd leave Danny's bedside. "I'm not sure he'll follow you." Kara told her.

"He will if he wants more belly rubs." Naz assured her, as she rubbed Halsey's fur before attaching the leash to Halsey's collar. She rose from her chair and moved to the door, the leash had enough length. "Come, Halsey." Naz told Halsey like she was giving an order not cooing at him. Much to Kara's surprise, Halsey got to his feet and padded over to her side. "See, he knows how this works." Naz joked, Kara snorted a laugh as she walked the two walk away.

* * *

"Dad! Uncle Mike!" Sammy said with a smile as he raced over to them. He stopped just before Mike and stood to attention; he gave Mike a salute. It made his heart ache as Lucas did the same thing before they hugged. Sammy however bounced on his feet as he was too eager to ask questions.

"Hey kiddo." Mike said returning the salute, the kid hugged Tom around the middle before pulling back. He saw Tom wince and frowned with concern.

"You got hurt." Sammy said.

"Just my leg but it will heal." Tom assured him.

"We're about to have breakfast." Sammy told him, Tom looked over to the table where he'd shared many a meal with loved ones. Yaya came out of the restaurant with Wolf and Cali behind her. Their arms laden with breakfast. Not that there was much food but they still made a production of it.

"Yaya, Dad's back!" Sammy said, the woman placed the food and drinks on the table before they looked up. Tom smiled as Yaya's face lit up at seeing him. Cali smiled in a shy manner as she and Yaya came over to him. Wolf made himself at home at the table waiting for them.

Yaya grasped his face with her hands and searched his eyes for a long moment. "It's good to see you." She told him.

"You too." He said, she kissed both of his cheeks in greeting.

"Who is your friend?" Yaya asked looking to Mike as she already met Wolf.

"Captain Mike Slattery, this is Yaya and Cali." Tom said making introductions.

"Ma'am-"

"Yaya." Yaya corrected him, like a mother would a child just learning to speak.

"It's a pleasure." Mike said as he shook hands with them. They seemed to read Mike's body language that he didn't want to be touched as they kept their distance from him. But even so, Tom knew Yaya would have a problem trying to get Mike down on her level given his height. So Yaya looked back to Tom.

"What have you done to yourself? Mr Taylor has helped us rearrange the whole restaurant layout while waiting for you and cooked breakfast." She told him, she shook her head in mock disapproval. Tom frowned as Wolf was really just showing off in their absence but he was starting to wonder if it was an Australian thing given Naz wasn't lazy either.

"It's a flesh wound." Tom said to Yaya, he wished he'd pitched the crutches somewhere on the way to pretend he wasn't struggling and his leg didn't ache.

"He was shot in the leg." Mike said, Tom threw him a dirty look as Yaya and Cali looked shocked.

"Oh my god, my poor moro mu." Yaya said with deep concern.

"That means baby." Sammy said with cackle.

"He is a baby to me, you are a just a sparkle in my eyes." Yaya told him in a dramatic manner. She wrapped her around Sammy pulling him in close and ruffled his hair. Sammy squirmed as he was clearly in the 'I'm too old for this' category.

"Ai, Yaya." Sammy complained as he squirmed out of her arms and smoothed his hair.

"Come, eat breakfast." Yaya told them

"We've already had breakfast but a cup of tea would go down well." Tom said as he and Mike moved to the table. Tom couldn't help but notice Cali awkwardly standing around. He felt terrible as he'd put her into this situation. Here she believed he was back for good, that maybe they had a chance and he just didn't feel that way at all.

"So, did you find the men who took my Alex?" Yaya asked as they sat down. Tom watched Sammy make a plate for breakfast, he then sat down and start eating. He didn't know why by he felt like his children had struggled in his absence. They seemed duller, skinnier than he remembered. Ashley was definitely angry.

"Yes, it's over. Giorgio and his men won't be coming around anymore." Tom assured her as Cali poured him and Mike tea. He wanted to tell her sit down but knew it was a waste of time.

"Good." Yaya said as she made a small plate of food for herself. "How long are you here for? I was hoping Mr Taylor could patch the hole in the roof before you all leave." she said, Tom and Mike looked at Wolf in annoyance. Tom didn't like being usurped as he'd been the one patching things around the house and Mike; well he just wanted to get going as fast as possible.

"It sounds like a ten minute job max. I was being polite." Wolf said with a shrug as Mike and Tom just looked at him with annoyance.

"Then you can go patch it now." Mike told him in a smart ass manner. Wolf clearly happy to be excused from the table rose from his chair and Yaya gave him all the directions to the equipment he needed, then added two more repair jobs onto top of the leaky roof. The man downed his tea and headed off to keep busy.

"Thank you for letting him to some repairs." Yaya said to Mike, before she looked to Tom. "So when are you leaving?" she asked.

"We will be leaving as soon as Sammy is finished with breakfast." Tom said, he wished he knew how she could tell. But admitting as much had made an impact as Cali excused herself from the table. Sammy looked up with shock while Yaya wore an expression of acceptance.

"Then we will enjoy the time we have until we meet again." Yaya told him.

"But Yaya's got to come with us, right Dad?" Sammy asked with a frown as he realised what was happening.

"Oh no." Yaya said shaking her head, Sammy frowned in confusion. "My home is here." she told Sammy with a warm and reassuring smile.

"But you could come live with us. It could be home too." Sammy told her.

"I could but I want to stay here. My whole life has been here, every good thing that has ever happened in my life happened here. Though I may visit you next summer or you could all come back here." Yaya told him.

"There are at least two operational Allied Air bases in Europe that you, Ashley and your Dad can use to get here again or Yaya can visit you in America." Mike informed Sammy, it was a lie given the bases were now closed but he figured it wouldn't hurt in the long run and who knew what would happen in the future. It wasn't too hard to imagine US not reopening it's bases back up in Europe again once they had the resources.

"See, this is not goodbye forever. Just for a few months." Yaya told him with a wink.

* * *

"Ok, we're running." Naz said as she kept an eye on the treadmill speed and timer. She had no idea if she was doing this right but Halsey hadn't given up on her yet. Burk had given her a rough idea of what Danny usually did to exercise Halsey and a couple toys before he had to go on duty.

So she'd taken Halsey to the gym and luckily only Azima had the place as it meant she and Halsey could run a little wild. By run wild, she sat on the floor and play catch before putting Halsey on the treadmill to really stretch his legs out. She of course stayed firmly on the ground, moving as little as possible.

"I think only one of you is running." Azima said teasingly as she was on the other treadmill walking and slowing her pace as she cooled down from her run.

"I'm running in spirit." Naz told her before she took the speed down one notch to start slowing Halsey's pace for his cool down.

"You're pretty good with dogs. A lot of experience with the two legged kind?" Azima commented, Naz smiled.

"No, I was lucky though I always wanted a four legged dog but my work was not conducive to owning one." Naz said, she looked down at Halsey. "I'm probably ruining you as a work dog." She told Halsey but he just panted happily as he kept on jaunting on the treadmill.

"I'm sure it will be fine." Azima said with a smile, she liked seeing Naz slowly come out of her Nostos shell. "Speaking of people who aren't. I didn't see Sasha at breakfast." She remarked.

"She's just a little under the weather from her injuries. She'll be fine in a few days." Naz assured her, it wasn't exactly a lie but the truth of why Sasha hadn't surfaced wasn't hers to share.

"Good, I worry when people don't come to breakfast. What is going on with your arm?" Azima asked as she slowed her treadmill down to a leisurely stroll. Naz looked to her arm that had a cast on it. Her rash was growing and was incredibly itchy.

"Rios isn't sure, but he gave me antihistamine and orders to check in tomorrow if it isn't any better. It's still itchy and I think I need a new cast." Naz said with chuckle even though she felt fairly stressed by the itching but luckily she had Halsey to distract her.

"I say you need new everything except man. I think you're just fine in that department." Azima told her, Naz chuckled.

"It's not what you think." Naz told her, even though that wasn't entirely true.

"You don't know what I'm thinking." Azima told her in a playful manner.

"Wolf's backside in spandex shorts?" Naz replied mockingly, she moved to refresh Halsey's water bowl. Halsey clearly seeing refreshments provided, decided he had enough of the treadmill and jumped off.

"Who doesn't?" Azima asked, she stepped off her treadmill and turned off treadmill Halsey had been on.

"Me." Naz said as she sat on the floor and watched Halsey drink.

"That's because you're thinking naughty thoughts of Captain Slattery ever since you kissed him on the flight deck." Azima said with an excited smile.

"I was thanking him." Naz offered casually but her cheeks burned. She should've expected Azima to ask but she hadn't really prepared for it.

"With your tongue?" Azima asked mockingly.

"It's an Australian custom. Wolf will back me up on that." Naz deadpanned.

* * *

"Cali?" Tom said as he walked into the shed and found her sitting where he had many nights just listening to the radio signals.

"I'm ok." She told him as she wiped at her face and put on a good face but he knew she had been crying and was upset. It was his fault, he should've been clearer when he said he was leaving.

"I'm sorry." He told her.

"You say that, but I don't think you know the meaning of the word." She told him in a despondent manner. "But I also know that I did this to myself." She added with a wry expression.

"I played my part in it. I should've been clearer, I really should've just left you alone. But I'm selfish like that." He chagrined as he pulled up a chair and sat opposite her. He leaned his crutches against the wall.

"I think we both were selfish in substituting each other for someone we lost. I wanted my fiancé back. You, you wanted your wife. But we are not them. I will not be her as you will not be my Nikos. I think I'm more upset that I can no longer pretend he's not here and that I am ok when I'm not." Cali said in a soft manner.

"It's not easy." Tom agreed as he thought of Darien and his earlier thoughts of how he didn't know how to be alone.

"You know, I do genuinely care for you and your children. I will miss you all." Cali told him.

"We'll miss you and Yaya." Tom said.

"I hope you come see Yaya again but I think our time has passed. It's also time for me to leave here but for what it is worth, I hope you find someone and when you do, you know to treat her better than you did me." Cali told him in a frank manner.

"I wasn't that bad." Tom said a little defensively.

"No, you weren't terrible but you are not over your wife." Cali said, Tom opened his mouth to argue when she took his hand in hers and gave it a comforting squeeze. "It's ok, I'm telling you this because you looked at me like I was a temporary replacement. You constantly compared me to your Darien, and I did the very same to you in my own way. I'm no saint as you like to say." She gave a small smile, "But it's not fair to treat a woman like that when she wants a genuine relationship with you. It's not fair to your kids or yourself. You all deserve to be happy, I just hope you find it again." Cali said with a saddened smile.

"I hope you do too." Tom said, he wanted things to end on a better note between them. He wasn't going to be petty and argue that he wasn't the way she said he behaved but there was a grain of truth to her words.

But she also took responsibility for her side as she was right, they had used one another. He had thought she was upset about him when it wasn't about him at all. It was a mixed a blessing as he was able to walk away nearly fault free but he was sad that neither of them had been much to one another even after over a year of being together.


	24. Chapter 24

Sasha woke from her slumber with a headache and her limbs sore as she had somehow twisted herself up in her blanket and slept on her bad side. She gave a groan as she rolled onto her back. She tried to lift her arm that she wore her watch on to see the time but found her arm dead from her sleep. She winced as pins and needles washed through said arm as blood flow was restored.

She felt better for her sleep even with the headache but she didn't want to get out bed. She didn't want to see Tom or run into his kids. She wondered if they were back yet but brushed it off as Naz would let her know or Tom would tell her as he was going to want to 'talk' now the mission was over. Sure, they had one successful mission together but it only proved they made a good team at work. It said nothing about their personal relationship.

She knew she should've been amused by Tom's drugged up proposal. But it left her cold and humourless. She realised it wasn't really about him, it was her. She did want to get married again but not to Tom. Not the man he was at the moment, nor the man he was when they met 16 months ago.

Just thinking of getting married again reminded her of how short her marriage had been with Daniel. She, for the first time since Daniel's death acknowledged the truth. She missed him, she missed everything he had meant to her, she missed their lives together. She just wanted him back. She wanted the future they had planned together.

She wanted to come home to him and their townhouse in Washington, but Sasha knew she couldn't as he was gone. It tore her heart to shreds as she had never come to terms with it today. She just ignored her pain, pushed it all to the back of her mind and kept moving forward. She jumped from one problem to the next so she could ignore the gaping hole in her heart and life.

They had been together for seven years before they got engaged. They spent another year working out the logistics for their wedding and their careers to fit in as many of their dreams they could.

She had never been more excited than the day she walked down the aisle and became Mrs Cooper. She still remembered his handsome smile, tears of happiness in his eyes as he fumbled through the vows. He was an accomplished Surgeon and a leader in his field, yet a complete sap when it came to romance. He understood her career goals and supported her, he didn't like her absences but he accepted them as any military spouse would, they had worked hard to make their relationship work. They loved each other deeply, sure they had their ups and downs but she had been so incredibly happy as she had with Daniel. Then the pandemic stole him from her, stole her future.

When she saw Tom, it was like revisiting the past but all the rose-coloured parts minus the ugly parts of her close shave to being charged with fraternization and dishonorably discharged. His clear inability to understand that she wanted to be more than a housewife and mother.

No, she had felt the rush of emotions of seeing a familiar face. To reunite with someone she knew so well, or so she had thought at the time. He also came pre-packaged with another large problem to distract her from her grief. She had thrown herself into his mission and then practically thrown herself at him. She knew now she wanted to jump into something familiar, she thought she could ignore the pain and grief. She wanted to be comforted through a relationship.

16 months ago, she had had a million reasons as to why Tom was the perfect man at the time and could perfectly explain any possible flaw away. What tore her and Tom apart in their youth was no longer an issue. She now as an adult; she thought was more flexible, she had nearly accomplished all the goals her teenage-self had set out. The major obstacle was gone. Sure they were stubborn and fought but then what couple didn't?

But she was wrong, so very wrong as she put a lot of expectations on Tom without thinking it through. She hadn't acknowledged her loss properly. She hadn't acknowledged the pain Tom was in. She'd been pissed when he'd left the ship. Yet, she hadn't taken into account the mere possibility she wasn't ready for a relationship or to move on at that time.

Most importantly, she really had no clue who Tom was. Over 15 years had passed, they both had changed dramatically as people. Maybe there were parts of him that were familiar but the cold harsh reality was; he was a complete stranger with two kids. Just as she was a complete stranger to him. She saw now Tom's leaving over 16 months ago was a true blessing. She couldn't have healed or fixed his damage as she hadn't even begun to acknowledge her own pain and heal herself.

There were no longer the excuses of pandemic, war, famine to distract her. She couldn't fall into a relationship like she had with Fletcher. What she needed was to start looking after herself. To work through her grief, go back to the house she had shared with Daniel and finally pack it up. To do all the things she had ignored for the past three years. To hopefully find closure, so she could move on properly and put her pain behind her in a healthier manner.

Luckily, at the moment, no one needed her. So, she was using the time for herself to selfishly feel her pain and give into it. Nothing sounded more selfish than staying in bed and just sleeping.

* * *

Three hours later,

"I want to thank you for everything." Tom told Yaya, she gave a soft smile as she cupped his face with her hands. He wished he didn't have to say goodbye to her, but Yaya had made herself clear. She was staying right where she was.

The kids were on the RHIB with Wolf and Mike; waiting for Tom to say his last goodbyes. Tom hadn't imagined it would be this hard to leave, but it was heartbreaking as this small fishing village had been a sanctuary for him.

"You are most welcome." She told him warmly. He was going to miss her dearly.

"You're always welcome to visit us any time. You call and I will have someone come get you or if I'm able, I'll come and get you myself." Tom told her, Yaya gave a chuckle.

"You sound like my Mother when I got married and moved in with Alex." Yaya told him, Tom smiled as he liked hearing her and Alex's stories.

"I can't help myself." He said with a boyish shrug, he was just grateful Mike had allowed them to overstay their welcome.

"Well, you and your children are always welcome in my home. We will holiday in the summer." she promised him, "But for that to happen, you all have to leave." she told him in a low teasing voice, Tom smiled knowingly as it was him struggling to let go. It had been tough watching Ashley and Sammy say goodbye. She had become their grandmother and letting her go was like letting go of family.

"I get it, I'm going but I look forward to seeing you again." Tom told her.

"Take care of yourself." Yaya told him.

"You too." Tom said as they embraced, they pulled a part and Yaya patted his chest with her hands and smiled up at him.

"Now you should go. I've done well not to cry so far. I want the children to see me smiling as you sail to your ship." She said as she stepped away from him. Tom gave a nod as he picked up his crutches and tucked them under his arms. He gave her one last look and started down the dock to the RHIB.

* * *

"Halsey!" Sammy said in excitement but Tom caught him before he ran across the flight deck to the dog. Halsey was with Naz of all people. The two seemed ultra-relaxed as they half laid down on the ground in the sun.

"Whoa, not so fast." Tom told him, Sammy stopped in his place and turned to Tom with a pained look.

"But I want to go play with Halsey." Sammy told him.

"First we get you and Ashley bunked in. Have some lunch and then you can play with Halsey." Tom told him, Sammy made a face as he didn't like that plan. It reminded Tom of how he'd really let his parental controls slip and allowed the children way too much latitude.

"Don't forget the long list of rules." Ashley added sarcastically. She was still pissed they had to leave Yaya and Greece.

"This isn't a tiger cruise." Tom said.

"But how cool would it be to on a ship with actual Tigers." Sammy said misunderstanding the reference completely.

"Not so cool, come on." Tom told him.

"Who is that with Uncle Mike?" Ashley asked him, Tom stopped and looked to see Mike help Naz to her feet. Halsey got to his feet and sniffed around the two tangling them up with his leash.

"That's Nasrin Khan. She's a friend. I'll introduce you later" Tom said.

* * *

"Nearly free." Naz said with a laugh as she and Mike stepped out of the tangles of leash rope. He looked down at Halsey who just stared back at him with a 'You're overthinking this Human, I'm just a dog.' expression.

"He doesn't like the leash." Mike remarked as he looked to Naz, he had to admit it was good to see her outside and enjoying the sun.

"No, but it's ok. One day, he'll run free on dry land." Naz said with a mocking smile. Mike cringed at the poor humour but still smiled as it was cute imagery. "That trip took longer than I thought." Naz added changing the topic.

"It didn't seem right to leave Tom's friends empty handed and their house in disrepair." Mike said wryly as they'd overstayed Mike's desired two hour window by three hours.

"It killed you to be delayed by three hours." Naz teased, Mike made a face as she was right.

"We're going to burning more fuel than usual to catch up." Mike admitted, he wasn't cruel but he did learn that you couldn't save everyone and stop at every port and dedicate time to the locals. If they did, they'd get nowhere. But they had stopped and helped set Yaya and Cali up, made sure they would have enough food and resources to keep going until the red rust cure came their way.

"It'll be ok. Green is stable and his vitals improving. It's better to delay his travel so he's strong enough to fly. He like the rest are drugged up to their eyeballs. So they are all fine. I have another friend, he's very furry and loveable. So, I'm happy." Naz said with a smile, it was a gorgeous one that made Mike feel warm and uplifted.

Even though he wasn't openly showing it. He was worried about the crew; all of them and how they were faring. He wasn't sure the delay was a good thing but Naz's reassurance and generally positive attitude helped. He liked that after everything she'd been through she still managed to find a positive even if it was something as simple as taking a shower or looking after a dog.

"Should I be worried?" he joked, he didn't mind Halsey as he was a well-behaved dog and did his job admirably. Luckily, he one stank up Green's quarters which meant Mike had very little to complain about.

"No, I know I have to give him back and I'll survive. It's just nice to see one dog survive the famine." Naz said as she leaned over and scratched Halsey's head. Mike stomach rolled at the mere thought of eating a dig but he knew if he were hungry enough and it meant survival; he'd eat a dog.

"Hopefully, dogs will no longer be on the menu now we have the cure." Mike said.

"I know, though it would be nice to have a dog as a friend when I'm stronger and healthier. Someone to take out on runs and give belly rubs to." Naz remarked as if on cue; Halsey laid down on his back and flashed his belly waiting for a rub down. Mike snorted a laugh as he wasn't against going for a run but he didn't get much out of belly rubs. Not like Halsey did.

"I won't say 'No' but it has to be a real dog. Not those balls of fluff that get put into purses. A medium sized man's dog, so no one thinks to mess you when you're running." Mike told her, Naz laughed and Mike smiled even though he was dead serious about it and that was just the start of his list of requirements for a dog. It was the list that left his family pet-less. "How's Sasha?" he asked changing the topic.

"Good, she's resting in our quarters. I don't see her surfacing for at least 48 hours though." Naz said pragmatically as she crouched down to oblige Halsey with his belly rub.

"I know, and it's ok. If you need help with that let me know." He told her, she rose to her feet and they shared a look. For some reason, he felt like she understood that he knew what was going on with Sasha. That it wasn't just her injuries but grief that kept her hidden away.

"I will, but I'm ok and Bacon has been really thoughtful and made sure the food could be carried in a bag. The only problem I see is that one over there." She said tilting her head at Tom and his family. She wore a mixed expression of pain and annoyance. Mike wondered if it was because of Tom nearly killing her or because of Sasha.

Mike knew the last thing he wanted was for Sasha to lash out at Tom just because her grief got the better of her. He also knew that Tom was interested in pursuing her; he just didn't want it to crash and burn for a second time because Tom wanted to get the 'ball' rolling so to speak.

"Yeah, it's not easy to see." Mike said, but he knew he was speaking for himself more than Sasha. Seeing Ashley and Sammy reminded him of his kids. The ache inside him grew pronounced as he tried not to give into his grief. He didn't want to be that man who couldn't look at others because it hurt too much.

"Should I be worried about you too?" Naz asked with concern. Mike gave a shrug; downplaying it.

"There are a few days that I have the potential to be unkind. It's tough to handle grief and too easy to lash out at people who were luckier." He said, she nodded in understanding as she knew he wasn't just talking about himself but Sasha at the same time. He wished he had the luxury of hiding in his quarters.

"I know and hey, we both know that we're not replacing anything we lost. We're just here and going with the flow so to speak." Naz said, and as vague her explanation sounded it did make sense.

"Yeah." Mike agreed and there was something incredibly comforting in knowing where they stood. That there was no pressure from her or himself to be the 'perfect' partner.

"But I wouldn't mind when we're living together that we have a calendar with dates marked on it. So, I can forgive your assholery and vice versa." Naz said, Mike snorted a laugh not just at the practicality but also the fact she was already preparing for bad days.

"Ok." Mike agreed, as he couldn't argue with it.

"I think if we're prepared for the worst, then we'll do ok." Naz told him, he smiled.

"I agree, I have to get back to it. Make sure he doesn't crap inside the ship." Mike said gesturing to Halsey. The dog made a low whine as if he didn't approve of Mike's comment.

"I will do my best and hey, I can't do scrabble tonight as I want to keep an eye on Sasha." Naz said.

"No problem." he said as he liked how much she cared for Sasha and him in letting him know what was going on. She gave him a soft smile.

"But tomorrow night, we're on." she told him, Mike smiled.

"I look forward to it." he replied.

* * *

A few hours later, Mike slouched in his chair as he waited for Andrea to switch over to her private line in her office. It wasn't rare for them to have a quick chat after he called in for a check in. He liked to hear news of back home, to know someone was living a normal life and that his friend was alive and well. It brought him comfort.

" _Ok, I'm here."_  Andrea said with a sigh of relief.

"You move offices?" Mike teased as she had taken longer than usual to jump onto the phone.

" _No, SECNAV wanted a word. The man could talk under wet cement."_  Andrea drawled in a tired yet mocking manner, Mike was glad that he didn't have to deal with the man as he was more politician than normal person. But at least he'd spent majority of his life in the Military before switching to Politics.

It meant the man had an idea of how the Navy ran, what the Navy needed to run and how to get the funding. In fact, the Navy was the most funded Military branch but then Mike had a feeling it was 60% of the SECNAV's hard work and 40% The Nathan James bringing home the cure.

 _"What's going on?"_  Andrea asked him.

"I need a favour for a personal matter." Mike told Andrea when they were switched to a private line. He had waited for her to be in her office before he spoke.

" _I didn't know you had a personal life to have a personal matter._ " Andrea teased.

"How's that idiot you're dating?" Mike asked as he sat in his chair and looked at the baby photos on his desk.

 _"His name is Darius and he's great as you already know; thank you for asking_." Andrea said, Mike knew the guy's name. He just enjoyed mocking him to get a reaction out of Andrea. She sounded sickeningly happy and Mike was pleased for her as they all deserved a little happiness in their lives. Darius was ok, he wasn't military but a restaurant owner and apparently a decent chef which was good for Andrea as Mike knew she'd be well fed and taken care of. Not that she couldn't do it on her own but she deserved some pampering, they all did from time to time even him.

"I'm glad you're happy." Mike said sincerely.

" _Me too, so your personal matter_?" Andrea asked.

"I'm thinking about getting married." Mike told her, he figured he would test the waters out Andrea. If his lies didn't ping her bullshit radar then he knew he'd be in the clear for everyone else.

" _What?!_ " Andrea asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I met someone pretty special and it feels right to me. So, I was hoping you could get the paperwork together for me. I want it all ready to go." he said, he knew it was a lot to ask but he hoped she might help him out.

" _Did you get her pregnant_?" Andrea asked.

"No." Mike said a little defensively.

" _You're not marrying some stranger so you can keep your house?_ " Andrea asked him.

"What?" Mike asked confused as he wondered what his house had to do with it.

" _I forgot, you don't know. They are talking about reallocating homes on the base to families coming in. Your house is sitting vacant. You're currently a bachelor_." she reminded, not even mincing her words. But damn it stung.

"They can't evict me." Mike told her a little peeved that the Navy would do that even though it was their right.

" _They can or would have, but given you're considering marriage. Well, that will allow you to keep your home. If or when you decide to tie the knot. So, I'll get on that for you too and make sure they know you're coming home with a spouse. Consider it a wedding gift as I have a baby's future to fund for and you basically have everything you need._ " Andrea told him.

"Thanks, we'll definitely use and appreciate it. Keep it under your hat." Mike said, his heart still pounding from the mere idea that his home would be taken away from him. He knew it was how it normally operated pre-pandemic days but he'd been assured the house was his as thanks for his service to the country. But it seemed it wasn't entirely true.

"Sure, so, w _ho is the lucky lady?_ " Andrea asked.

"Nasrin Khan." Mike replied calmly, though his heart skipped a beat when he said her name. He didn't know why but he felt good about it. He knew he didn't love Naz but he was pretty happy with his decision.

 _"The Bulletproof Medic?!_ " Andrea asked in disbelief, " _SECNAV is going to shit a rainbows and sunshine for a week when he hears this. Not that I will tell him and I can see why you'd want to keep under wraps._ " Andrea told him.

"Why would SECNAV care about who I marry?" Mike asked before he laughed at her choice of words and her quick assurance. SECNAV knew Naz was on board the Nathan James and never showed interest.

" _There's a photo exhibit where she and Tom are the main stars. Darius is taking me to see it tonight. It's been sold out since it was announced. I'll send you an email with photos and the garbage stories on them, but your soon to be Mrs Slattery is a war hero who walked out into a battlefield where bullets were flying and explosions going off. The story goes-_ "

"She picked up a kid and walked him back to her side. I know." Mike said, he'd read Naz's personnel file and well, everything the British government gave them which was a lot of information ranging from government and Military to media coverage. He felt in knowing everything, he didn't have to make Naz go through the discomfort of telling him as he knew it haunted her.

" _Not a scratch on either of them from the walk. She also survived the whole war without getting shot once, but the photojournalist is having a field day on news shows promoting it. He's got such a hard on for Tom and Naz._ " Andrea told him, clearly she was fascinated by it which pique Mike's interest.

"No kidding?" Mike asked, that was surprising as he knew Naz didn't want fame. Tom had travelled to some obscure fishing village to escape his fame.

" _Yeah, every subject had some mythological theme to tie back to some legend as all his subjects are Heroes, Heroines. Tom is Odysseus stuck on Calypso's Island. Did you know he had a girlfriend in Greece_?  _Apparently she is Calypso_." Andrea said with a snort of laughter as she clearly didn't take it seriously.

"Not until the last moment. She seemed nice for the five seconds I met her. Did Naz have a name?" he asked out of curiosity.

 _"Andraste, Celtic Goddess of War apparently she was known as the 'Invincible one'. Kind of fits but at the same time doesn't. The photos he has shown on the flyer and the morning programs... They are pretty confronting but there's a beauty to them, he's good with a camera._ " Andrea remarked thoughtfully.

"I'm not a art man." Mike said diplomatically as he had no idea. He was just wondering what the photos were and how Tom and Naz would react.

 _"Either way, the man is making a lot of coin off his photos which means SECNAV will want to make a show of Tom's return. Probably do some cross promotional garbage."_ Andrea remarked in a dry manner.

"Tom isn't going to like that." Mike said.

 _"I know but he put the uniform on which means the Navy owns him."_ Andrea said pragmatically _. "And I just realised I'm going to organise majority of your paperwork, does this make me your best man?_ " Andrea asked.

"If you want a title, then it's yours." Mike said as he hadn't given it a lot of thought. Normally he'd say Tom would be his best man but the man wasn't exactly on board with Mike and Naz as a couple. He'd prefer to have someone who supported him at his side. Andrea was doing a lot of heavy lifting for him back stateside with very little to no judgement.

 _"Well as your best woman, I have one question. Are you happy?_ " Andrea asked him.

"Yeah, I am." he said, strangely he was. It wasn't jumping around the room excited happy but more of content and comfortable version of happiness. Something that was pretty much a gift given the past two years and four months.

" _Well then, Congratulations and I look forward to meeting her. I'll see if Darius can swing us all a proper meal when you get back to celebrate your nuptials_." Andrea said warmly.

"Nothing big." Mike told her.

 _"Just you, Nasrin, Darius, Me, Mira, Sasha, Jeter and Tom. If Tom is up to it. He doesn't exactly sound like himself these days_." Andrea remarked, something she'd never say to Tom's face but Mike knew she felt safe confiding in him. She was.

"He's better than when he left and you should probably should invite Meylan given you're inviting his wife." Mike told her, an amused smile on his lips.

" _Ok, fine. But it will throw out the table numbers._ " Andrea said in a beleaguered manner that made Mike smile as he knew that Andrea liked Meylan and his wife just fine. But she enjoyed pretending Meylan was the Fat kid no one wanted on their team. Mira Meylan, well besides her inability to eat most foods due to allergies; she was good value at a party.

"Speaking of, how's the parasite?" Mike asked.

 _"The baby is well within normal parameters and healthy."_  Andrea drawled in a dry manner. But he knew she liked talking about her pregnancy and baby. In his defense, only two weeks ago she claimed the baby was sucking the life out of her.

"You sure? Darius is one weird looking man." Mike told her.

" _Don't you have a ship to run?"_  Andrea asked.

"I do and I should go. Thanks for your help and speak to you in a week if nothing comes up." Mike told her.

" _Anytime_." Andrea said warmly before she hung up on her end. Mike's lips quirked into a small smile as he had to admit he was looking forward to getting home, to relaxing and celebrating their successes properly.

* * *

"So are you and Uncle Mike; boyfriend and girlfriend?" Sammy asked Naz, nearly everyone nearby their tables in the mess; froze. It was like they were all waiting for this answer.

"Sammy, that's none of your business." Tom said a little embarrassed as Sammy had already asked Naz why she was injured and then asked why she'd let someone kick her in the face.

Tom just couldn't understand why his son was so fascinated with her but it wasn't just her. It was also Wolf. Wolf was definitely getting some serious Chandler kids' adoration which had Tom a little green with envy. But then he remembered that neither Wolf nor Naz had to be authoritative figure for the kids. They were just exotic people who got to do and go wherever they wanted on the ship. Naz got to play with Halsey which Sammy currently wasn't allowed to as Tom didn't want Sammy to see Danny in his current state.

"It's ok," Naz said as she looked to Mike. They hadn't really covered the topic of what to do when an 8 year old interrogated her. But it was an easy answer. "We're friends." She answered honestly, the adults around them who'd been keen for an answer went back to their meals.

"Ok." Sammy said, he paused for a beat before he spoke again. Naz barely got a spoonful of soup into her mouth. "What did you do before pandemic?" Sammy asked Naz, changing the topic but weirdly staying centric to her.

"I was a Cop." Naz replied, wondering why she got to be lucky girl answering twenty questions tonight. She had assumed she'd fly under the radar but then Tom had made a weird point of introducing her to them. Tom had serious case of the grumps given Sasha was a no show for dinner.

"Uncle Mike was a Cop before he joined the Navy." Sammy informed her.

"Really, what trouble did you get into?" Naz asked Mike with keen interest. He sat at the head of the table with her seated to his right while Tom took up the left side. Down the sides of the table were Tom's kids, Kara, Burk, Wolf, Azima, Jeter with Meylan on the other end. The rest of the crew were seated at tables near theirs. By now, light conversations were being had.

"He wasn't in trouble, he caught the bad guys. Didn't you Uncle Mike?" Sammy asked Mike, much to the amusement of the others at the table.

"Homicide Detective." Mike informed Naz with a shrug like it wasn't a big deal.

"Gangs squad." Naz told Mike, the two wore new looks of appreciation at each other like they had a special bond just because they both were ex-police.

Tom and the others at the table looked a little lost as to what to make of it. There were a few exceptions like Wolf and Burk who looked weirdly invested in the answers to the questions being asked while Kara and Azima wore expression of near boredom to the point they were actually talking with each other than paying attention.

"Gangs Squad sounds way cooler than Homicide." Sammy said and then he chagrined, "Sorry, Uncle Mike." he said, Mike gave a shrug but wore a closed lip smile.

"Don't be, I still have the coolest job on the planet as Captain of the Nathan James." Mike said smugly.

"Rub it in." Tom grumbled in good humour while Meylan chuckled at Tom's perceived misfortune given he'd been promoted from his command. Sure, CNO was nothing to sneer at. It just wasn't as exciting as being Captain of a Arleigh Burke Destroyer.

"Do you have cool stories about catching bad guys?" Sammy asked Naz, he didn't have any interest in the Nathan James stories but then he'd heard most of them over the years in some shape or form.

"Sorry, you have to be at least 6ft 4 to hear my cool stories." Naz said, Sammy made a face as he didn't like her response.

"That's rough, I'm three inches too short for story time. That's never been an issue for me." Meylan griped in a mocking manner.

"Same, but I don't think anyone on the ship is tall enough to hear these tales." Tom commiserated with frown.

"I am." Mike said smugly.

"Well, don't you just have it all." Meylan drawled sarcastically but one could see he was in good spirits and enjoying the camaraderie of the meal.

"That's right, I'm hashtag blessed." Mike deadpanned, people around the table laughed. Ashley and Sammy cringed, Mike had to admit it was good to see people who'd spent the better of 16 months stressed and incredibly focussed just let go and laugh freely.

"Dead God, he's trying to be hip." Meylan groaned.

"I don't have to try as I have two of them." Mike quipped, many half groaned and laughed. "What?" Mike asked pretending he didn't just land a terrible joke.

"Just go home." Tom said cringing at the Dad joke.

"Give me a fortnight. I'll get there." Mike told him.

"I have to admit, I'm looking forward to getting home." Meylan said as everyone settled down and grew quiet thinking about the fact that they would be getting home for some serious downtime. It felt good even though they'd miss being together as a crew. "Seeing my wife again, I need something beautiful to look at after all this ugly." he told them.

"I feel like I should be offended given I shaved for you." Tom drawled mockingly.

"Yeah, that doesn't happen naturally." Mike quipped, Tom gave a look he knew so well. It was 'I'm mentally flipping you the bird' look.

"Naz, where are you going end up?" Burk asked Naz but before she could answer Mike spoke.

"With me." Mike said, the adults at the table stopped in their eating and looked at him. They didn't know what to think or say without appearing rude. He had to admit he liked throwing them off centre by something so simple.

"I'm broke and Captain Slattery offered to let me crash at his place until I'm able to access my savings. Then we'll see." Naz said acting like it was totally casual for it all to happen but clearly it was not.

"What happened to moving in with Sasha?" Meylan asked.

"We talked about it, but she's going to stick with BOQ… Did I get that right?" Naz asked wondering if she said it right.

"Yes, Bachelor Officer's Quarters." Meylan said translating for Ashley and Sammy as they might be Navy brats but they wouldn't know that term. "Interesting, I would've thought she'd stay in Norfolk, guess I was wrong." he added.

"I wouldn't know and to be honest, I kind of like the idea of being in a free-standing home on a military base. I hear it's really safe. Like you can leave your front door unlocked safe." Naz said.

"I wouldn't keep my doors unlocked but yes, it's safe in Norfolk." Tom agreed, as it depended on the base and how tight security was. "Where is Sasha?" Tom asked.

"Smoke inhalation has left her pretty crook. So, Rios and I are keeping an eye on her." Naz remarked as if it were nothing to worry about.

"Do we know Sasha?" Ashley asked Tom.

"She is a co-worker of ours." Tom said, man he felt like an asshole for downgrading Sasha like that but he felt after Cali. He had to be really careful about how he treated women and introduced them into Ashley and Sammy's world. "You might have met briefly before we left. But I doubt you remember." Tom said, doing his best to not make a big deal of it.

"Oh, ok." Ashley said casually but she looked unsure what to make of it and clearly not wanting to think of when her grandfather died.

"I'm looking forward to this famine being over." Mike said changing the topic away from Sasha.

"I've always wanted to try American BBQ. I remember years ago watching a show on BBQ smoke houses in America. It looks so good." Naz said with a serene smile.

"You might have to wait a few years for an American BBQ as beef is heavily rationed and very expensive." Meylan said from his end of the table before anyone else had the chance to burst her bubble.

"I'm a very patient person." Naz assured Meylan, not put off by his information.

"I'm sure we could splash out on it, one time celebration." Mike said nonchalantly, he knew it was extravagant but what was the point in not having a splurge every once in a while.

"We can go dutch." Naz suggested to Mike.

"We can't given you're broke." Mike reminded her. Naz smiled apologetically.

"Ok, but when I'm not broke I'll treat you to dinner." Naz offered.

"We'll see." Mike said, he wasn't one to turn down the offer of a free meal. But he didn't want to come off as the guy who didn't pay for dinner if it was a potential date situation which was how it all felt like even if they were faking their relationship. He did have a reputation to uphold.


	25. Chapter 25

Tom watched as Mike and Naz bantered over what century they were living in given somehow dinner out moved to who paid on the first date. It was very easy flowing, couple-y which was weirdly adorable and uplifting but also completely unlike Mike to be so casual in front of the crew. But then they were technically off the clock.

He didn't want to admit it, but he was envious of the two and how they could be so open about arguing dinner plans. That and he wanted to argue dinner plans with Sasha but she was absent from the meal. Even though they were not at that stage. He just wanted them to be in a better place than 'Impersonal'.

Kara and Burk seemed to add in advice seemed to add fuel to fire of Mike and Naz's. The conversation opened up to more of a debate with the rest of crew. Mike proclaiming he'd judge any man who made a woman pay on the first date when a poll was being taken.

Tom's attention drifted to Ashley who looked despondent and deep in her thoughts. She hadn't even finished her meal before she left the table. He excused himself and followed out of the mess.

"Ashley, are you ok?" Tom asked her.

"I'm fine. Just not hungry." she said curtly.

"Ashley, you can't just leave your food half eaten like that. It's wasteful. Clearly it's not the food that's bothering you. So maybe instead of giving me attitude you can talk to me." Tom told her, Ashley stopped and gave a huff of annoyance.

"What's the point? It just goes in one ear and out the other." Ashley told him.

"I'm listening, I always listen." Tom told her as he directed to the closest balcony. Luckily there was no one there and the sailors on night duty were far away they wouldn't hear anything. So it was all theirs with some privacy.

"You never hear me though." Ashley argued.

"You want to say something to me, you say it." Tom told her firmly.

"Why is it so easy for you to move on after Mom?" Ashley asked him bluntly, Tom was shocked by the question. He recoiled slightly as if she had slapped him.

"It's not. It never has been." Tom told her.

"But you still moved on like it was nothing. Now Uncle Mike just stopped looking for Aunt Christine. He's like with that woman, like does Aunt Christine mean nothing?" Ashley asked looking confused and deeply upset. Tom sighed as he wished he didn't have to tell her here and now but she deserved the truth.

"Ashley, Uncle Mike's family are gone. They died during the pandemic." Tom told her.

"What? Why didn't you tell us?" Ashley asked in a hushed tone, tears streaked down her face. Tom pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back. She didn't fight it as the anger in her had flagged out.

"I didn't know until recently. Uncle Mike has known for over a year, he probably knew well before that they were gone but he just needed to believe otherwise." Tom sighed as he'd been there. The delusion was better than the reality, it allowed him to cope and many others who did the same. "My point is that he's been grieving for over two years, he loves and misses his family everyday. He met Naz recently and I don't know. Honestly, I don't get what is going on there." he said with a chuckle.

"They like one another a lot and I guess they'll be dating soon." Ashley said pushing out his arms. Tom let her go. She moved to the railing and looked at the night sky shining over the dark ocean. Tom move to her side and leaned on the railing with her, they lapsed into silence for a long moment. Tom took the time to gather his thoughts.

"You know, I was spoiled with your Mom. She gave me two beautiful kids, a home to come to. She supported me and my dreams. I never would've never made as far in the Navy without her at my side. When we lost her... I didn't know what to do. Your Grandpa took over so I could keep working, then when-" Tom swallowed as the grief, "I tried to step up but I couldn't even do that well." he admitted to her.

"It wasn't bad all the time. I just wish you'd stop trying to replace Mom." Ashley told him.

"I'm not replacing her-"

"Then why did you date Cali? You didn't even like her, she was just there and then you left us with her to come back here." Ashley told him, Tom could see the pain and how she felt abandoned. He knew when she was older she'd understand and appreciate what he was doing but right now she was just a little hurt and confused girl.

"I left you in Yaya's care not Cali's. I cared for Cali, I just didn't love her and she understood that." Tom said making it clear to Ashley. She looked at him like he was a moron.

"You said you date to fall in love. Why would you bother dating her if don't even think you could love her." Ashley told him.

"It's complicated to explain." Tom said with a wry smile. There was no way of explaining it without feeling like an asshole and given Ashley had no experience with dating or romantic relationships; it would be a hard for her to understand.

"I'm not a child." Ashley said in a tart manner.

"But you're not an adult either. There is a lot stuff you won't understand until you're well into your thirties." Tom told her, the age he had told her was when she would be dating if he had his way.

"Yeah, ok." Ashley remarked drily as she rolled her eyes at him.

"It's true, you'll be young enough to want more but old enough to know exactly what you want and what you're willing to do to get it." he told her in a sage manner even it wasn't entirely true for every situation.

"But until then I won't understand anything?" Ashley asked for clarification.

"No, you will but it's not to the same extent. Like with my dating women, to you; you think I'm trying to replace Mom." Tom said giving her an example she could understand.

"Well you are." Ashley told him.

"I'm not, I'm looking for companionship and friendship with a woman around my age. I loved Mom, I still do and always will but I also don't want to be alone forever. I want to be happy like I was with Mom. I know it won't be same, I don't want whoever I date to be like Mom either. She was one of kind. But I am going to date in the future and I don't expect you to love whoever I date like you did Mom. I just want you to be respectful and considerate." Tom said, hoping Ashley would cut him some slack.

"I could try to keep an open mind." Ashley said with a huff, Tom bumped his shoulder with hers. She gave him a small smile before looking back out to the sea.

"Just as I will try to be a better father, be more present than before." he said.

"Gonna be hard when you're deployed all the time." Ashley remarked.

"I haven't got my orders but I know it will be shore duty, I'll most likely stationed stateside for the foreseeable future. I'll do my best to make sure it's in Norfolk." Tom informed her.

"Mom said it doesn't work like that." Ashley said, but he could see she was trying not to be hopeful but badly wanted his words to be truth.

"No, it doesn't usually but I've worked hard enough over the years and earned a lot points for the cure that SECNAV might just sign off on it. I want to be here for you and Sammy. Cause one thing I learnt about our time in Greece is that I want to be home every day for and with you both." Tom told her.

"Until the next mission calls." Ashley told him.

"No, I won't unless World War Three begins. But touch wood," he tapped his head with his knuckles "That doesn't happen. If it does, I'll make sure you have someone looking out for you two. I won't leave you in the lurch again." he promised her.

* * *

A couple hours after dinner, Mike sat at his laptop. He'd spent an hour working and avoiding the email Andrea sent him. He wished he was seeing Naz but he could tell she needed an early night. So, here he was. He clicked on the email, he skimmed over the email and clicked to the attachments. He'd mentally prepared himself for this given Andrea's warnings.

He'd seen photos taken during wartime but always felt a sense of disassociation due to the different time period that they occurred in. The feeling of it all being before his time. That it was behind them, he was grateful to not have to live through it and grateful for the sacrifices of those who did. But this felt like it was going to be different. He clicked open the files and he was right.

There were only six photos including a promotional flyer print for the exhibit. Three were of Tom and the kids, Cali was in one of them. All from Tom's time in Greece. While Naz's were of when she was on the front lines.

The flyer was comprised of two photos placed side by side in Black and White print and a banner along the bottom. One side was a photo of Tom and Naz contrasting in the photo beside it. The photos were revealing in the raw nature of human emotion while incredibly moving; it was hard not to feel exactly what the person in the photo was showing them. It was hard to not look away even though it made him uncomfortable to look at them.

On one side was Naz, she was in the middle of a battlefield. She stood side on to the camera, her head was half turned her face looked out to the camera but not at it. Like she had heard someone call her name and she just looked back out of reflex without focussing.

Her face was streaked with dirt and most likely blood. Her eyes were dead and had dark circles underneath them like she hadn't slept in months, her expression resigned and weary. She stood out in the open, dressed in kevlar and worn out BDUs with a cuff on her arm that had a cross on it to symbolise she was a medic. She had a sidearm strapped to her thigh but her hands were empty as they hung by her sides. Her hair had long since escaped her bun and blew in the air.

All around in the background of the photo were explosions, smoke billowing into the air from burnt out fires, destroyed earth. A Fighter jet streaked across the sky in the photo. It was all chaotic and messy; yet in the middle was Naz.

Mike knew any civilian would think Naz was a fearless warrior but what he saw was soldier who was beyond exhaustion, he could tell from Naz's eyes. He saw the bleakness of Naz's soul in Sailors and Cops before. It was the haunted look of a person who just couldn't see the point of what they were doing anymore. So, she like many others took incredibly risks in the hopes they'd be killed as they believed it was better to die in the pursuit of saving others than just eating their gun.

In contrast to it, was a photo of Tom in civilian clothing. It was of a partial profile as Tom stood a fair distance at shore line of a beach. His feet in the ocean and sand; looking outward. In the background was completely still ocean. It seemed peaceful and reflective in nature and contrast to Naz's side of the flyer. Across the bottom was a banner advertising the name of the exhibit and it's location as well as the Photojournalist's name.

"The Mythos of War and Peace." Mike murmured in disgust as the Photojournalist was making dime off the painful and private moments of others. He highly doubted Naz or Tom posed or consented to the photos given there was feel that neither of them knew a photo was being taken of them. They never made direct eye contact with the audience. It was why they felt so invasive to Mike. That and he knew both were private people. Because of that he didn't even know where to begin in telling them. But he did know they had to be made aware. He picked up his cup and frowned as it was empty.

* * *

"Persian weddings are huge and extravagant. Mine was a production where no expense was spared, and practically everyone was invited even the obscure three times removed cousin who babysat me once when I was ten. I had 400 people at my wedding." Naz half slurred as she was drunk and only after two drinks which was surprising given she used to have a high tolerance for alcohol.

"Whoa, how can anyone afford that?" Sasha asked incredulously as they stepped into the wardroom looking for a knife to cut up the chocolate bar. They also talked about throwing the Moroccan tea overboard. But that plan was still on the drawing board.

"Yeah, I think my parents spent half their life saving for it." Naz said with a wry smile, "I wanted something small but they wouldn't hear of it. But it was fun and I have to say if I could do it again. I'd want smaller like under 100 or even less. Definitely a smaller dress. Mine was huge and it took a lot help to pee in it. I looked like a pretty disney princess." Naz said, Sasha snorted a drunk giggle. She covered her mouth as if it would hide the fact they were both a little too drunk to hide it.

"Awwh, I can't imagine you in a huge white dress." Sasha told her as she bumped into a chair and frowned as she was more drunk than she realised.

"My 23 yr old self loved big poofy dresses. You put it on and I dunno, you feel special." Naz told her with a goofy grin, "What about you? I can see you in something chic and slimming. Off the shoulder." she added. Sasha chuckled at Naz's expression as she made a pouty face women on magazine covers made.

"Pretty close but no. I had a white wrap round dress with three quarter sleeves, and a sexy thigh high slit and cut out back. My hair was kind of 50's style with it draped over to one side. The dress also had deep v and had these gorgeous crochet decorations at the waist and on the shoulders" Sasha said as she gestured to her hair and body to describe what she'd had. She remembered it being the most beautiful dress and she had felt like a movie star in it. In comparison to the elaborate wedding Naz had- Sasha's was fairly tame and much more relaxed affair. It was good to share memories of better days.

"That sounds perfect for a garden wedding. I want a low key garden wedding with that dress. An intimate affair with your nearest and dearest." Naz said with a dreamy sigh. Sasha smiled as closed the door to the wardroom and moved to the table.

"It was good day and I loved it. I still have the dress, if someone hasn't stolen it from my townhouse." Sasha said thoughtfully. Last she heard Washington had been a ghost town which meant good chances was her house should be fine. But who knew.

"I hope it's still there." Naz told her.

"Well, I'm not holding out much hope." Sasha said as she didn't want to get her hopes up. She yearned to go home and crawl into her old bed but at the same time her grief made her pause as it meant acknowledging the truth of why she was there. She pulled out the flask and took another sip before Naz took it from her.

"But you never know until you find out for sure. I hope you find your house untouched or your things saved. I have nothing to hold onto. My wedding rings and jewellery were taken from me when I was conscripted. Reflective surfaces are bad." Naz told her as she sat down at the table. She took a sip of whiskey from the flask and gave a happy sigh.

"They are, they can alert your enemy to your position." Sasha told her as she pulled out a butter knife and moved to the table. Plonking herself into a chair opposite Naz's at the table.

"I never got them back." Naz added as she passed the flask back to Sasha.

"Assholes." Sasha said vehemently.

"Total assholes. But it's ok, they are just things. Though I wish had my rings as a memento but I don't and I'm ready to move on than dwell on it all." Naz said stretching her arms above her head and giving a yawn.

"How do you know that you're ready?" Sasha asked her. Naz looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I spent a really long time with Elias as a hallucination to realise that it's not the same. You can live with the memories but you'll always wish for more. I loved Elias, I will always miss him but I'm not dead. I'm here and I want something real. I want to love and be loved by a live, flesh and blood man. I like the idea of meeting a man and being a relationship again. I sound like a horny romantic don't I?" Naz asked her in a frank manner.

"A little." Sasha said before they both dissolved into laughter. "But I wish I felt that way. Knowing when it's right to move on and being sure of it." she said with a sigh.

"There is not a 'right' time. It's just a decision about what you want. I mean you had that thing with Fletching-er." Naz said with a frown as she got caught up with trying to remember what she was saying.

"Fletching-er?" Sasha asked with a chuckle. She unwrapped the chocolate bar and laid the wrapper flat and started to haphazardly carve up the bar into smaller bite sizes. "How much did we drink?" she asked.

"I'm not sure; somewhere between not enough and too much. God, that is some sad knife work." Naz said with a laugh.

"If I gave you the knife, it'd just end up in your cast." Sasha told her, pointing the knife at her as Naz was rubbing her arm. The whole reason Naz was awake as her cast had given her a gnarly rash. Rios had wanted to try a couple treatments before cutting it off. But Sasha knew by morning, that cast was coming off whether Rios did it or Naz. Either way, she was too itchy it sleep and Sasha had slept during the day which made it hard to sleep through the night.

"It's itchy. The rash is getting bigger." Naz said as she pulled her shirt away from her neck and past her shoulder where a rash travelled up from her cast.

"Geezus, tits are at your shoulder." Sasha said, she laughed at her mistake as she meant to say 'its'.

"Tits." Naz said with giggle. The lock on the door was turned. Sasha stuffed the flask into her jacket pocket.

"Be cool." Sasha told her, they both donned serious expression as the door opened.

"Evening." Mike said to the women as he stepped into the room with his coffee cup.

"Hey." Naz said, Mike's eyes narrowed slightly as he hadn't missed the slight slurring of her words and lax posture. She looked ready to slide out of her chair and onto the floor. She and Sasha were sitting in a way that was just a little too unlike them which made him think something was up.

"Everything ok?" he asked them.

"Yes." Naz told him.

"Completely fine. Chocolate?" Sasha offered as she gestured to the haphazardly cut up chocolate on the wrapper.

"Ok." He said as the women looked at him as if waiting for him to notice something. He knew everything was squared away with him which meant it was them. "Ok, what is it?" he asked them, he picked up a small piece of chocolate.

"What's what?" Naz asked sitting up straighter in her chair.

"You're acting weird. Tells me you're breaking the rules." Mike told them before he ate the piece of chocolate. He wasn't a 3 Musketeer man, but after months of barely any chocolate, it was fantastic.

"We're just here eating chocolate." Sasha said.

"Yet, there is a lingering smell of booze in the air and you're slurring. Have you been drinking?" Mike asked them as he sat down at the head of the table.

"Yes" Naz said at the same time Sasha said "No". Mike smiled in amusement as Sasha looked to Naz with an incredulous expression.

"Seriously?" She asked Naz.

"Like he doesn't already know and I'd fail a sobriety test which is sad given I've barely had anything to drink." Naz told her, Sasha gave a sigh as she had to admit Naz was right. They were drunk, not dangerous, black out messy drunk but they'd had enough alcohol to make her feel a mix of sassy and depressed.

"It's ok. Just don't get messy." He told them.

"Ok, why are we getting so much latitude?" Sasha asked suspicious of Mike's motives as he'd normally be confiscating the offending objects.

"It's been a long mission and I have some bad news." Mike told them.

"For whom?" Sasha asked, Mike looked to Naz. She made a small whining noise as she slunked down in her chair.

"Great, just tell me." Naz told him, Mike wished he hadn't said it. But he couldn't back down now and frankly, he preferred the method of ripping the band aid off.

"There's a photo exhibit running in the US. It's very popular and you are one of the main stars. It looks like they of when you were a soldier during the immune wars." Mike told her, he expected some kind of reaction like anger, sadness but all Naz gave was a shrug and an expression of resignation. "I have some of the promotional images. If you want to see them." He added.

"No, I'm good." Naz said casually, she looked at Mike and Sasha as they both looked concerned and lost to her reaction, "Look, I've been the 'It' girl before. I have zero control over images from the war. But I can control how I deal with it." Naz told them.

"Which is not at all?" Sasha asked. Naz gave an emphatic nod.

"Exactly, I fight it. I'll lose and this photographer gets free press for his work. I end up all over the media even more than I want and with legal expenses to pay. No thank you. I'll just ride it out by not involving myself and it will all go away. If I lay low, no one will know or be game to ask me." Naz told them.

"I can respect that." Sasha said as the plan seemed pretty decent in her inebriated state.

"Ok, but if you change your mind. I'll help you out." Mike told Naz. Naz smiled softly and Sasha watched Mike looking at Naz. She felt a pang of envy but also warmth as the two clearly cared for one another. Not only that, but they seemed to know what the right amount of space the other needed while giving support.

"You two should just get married." Sasha blurted out.

"Be my Matron of Honour?" Naz asked her. Sasha gave her a dopey smile.

"I'd be honoured and you know, if my wedding dress is still around. You can borrow it. It can be your something old and something borrowed." Sasha told her.

"I'd be honoured." Naz said, she and Sasha smiled at one another and chuckled while Mike looked a little bemused. "So who is the other main star of the exhibit?" Naz asked him.

"Tom, he disappeared for 16 months and no one knew why or where. Now they get to know." Mike said with a shrug.

He felt sorry for Tom and the invasion into his privacy but on the other hand. He felt they were owed an explanation and for some an apology. He was long past his anger at Tom leaving them, it was just a waste of energy. To him, it was about the mission and to Mike; it was easier to replace Tom than deal with Tom being unfocussed and too angry to be rational. So it was a blessing he left even if it hadn't worked out great for Tom.

"He'll fight it, he doesn't like his private life being open for public consumption." Sasha said with a sigh.

"He could win, if he didn't consent to the photos but SECNAV won't have it." Mike said, Sasha gave a nod as she knew the man and how persuasive he could be. He didn't get the job by default and he wasn't above using people to boost Navy's profile.

"Well, that's between them." Sasha said, glad she wasn't involved in it.

"You know Tom will want a word with you before he leaves." Mike told Sasha. Sasha rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I can't. He's just going talk about how it's time to clean the slate, and we have a fresh start. But guess what? We don't. I crapped on our fresh start 16 months ago and now it's just shit on the pavement getting spread around." Sasha told him, Mike frowned as he had thought Sasha was the most sober out of two women but clearly he was wrong.

"We may have had more than one drink and very little food." Naz said under her breath as Sasha kept talking.

"And it's true. We may have a cure but there is still a lot going on out there. I have a lot going on. I have answer for Fletcher, I have to deal with my life that I left behind in the US. You know, I didn't live in a fucking a cupboard waiting for Tom to be single again. I had a life, I had a whole other future planned out." Sasha told them, Mike nodded as he had heard this drunk speech before though it had new additions to it.

"Yes, you did." Naz told her, egging her on.

"I had Daniel and he was ten times better than that asshole who came back to us and a thousand times better than the asshole who jumped ship." Sasha told him, Mike frowned as it took him a second to realise that Sasha was bashing on Tom and Fletcher. Being Tom's friend, he should defend his honour, but Mike had learnt that Depressed drunk Sasha didn't see reason in her current state. It was less stressful to listen to her vent then try and be diplomatic.

"So true." Naz told her.

"Not helping." Mike told Naz in a light manner as Sasha was starting to crumble and he just hoped it didn't end with vomit as he was not cleaning it up this time.

"If the pandemic hadn't happened I would've been married with two maybe three kids by now. I would never be here and I would've been happy. But here I am, single, childless and my career on is life support. They'll probably fire me or worse, put me behind a desk because of Fletcher and Tom. Mixing my personal life with work and emotionally compromising myself and compromising the mission." Sasha said with a groan.

"We salvaged it. We got the cure and that's all that matters." Mike assured her.

"Maybe to your bosses, but not mine." Sasha pressed the balls of her palms into her eyes. "I don't want to be here or this person. Everything used to be neatly compartmentalised and I'm just failing at everything." She said as she kept her eyes covered, Naz pushed her chair back and moved to the empty chair beside Sasha and placed her good hand on Sasha's shoulders.

"Hey, it's ok, you're not failing at anything. You've just played a shitty hand really well and you won. When you've had some decent sleep, spoken to your bosses, gone home to Washington. You'll feel like shit but you'll be moving forward which in the long run will make you feel better. You'll know in your bones what you want for yourself. If you want kids, then have them. That's why we have adoption agencies, IVF and sperm banks." Naz told her, Sasha huffed a watery laugh. "You want to wait until you're married to another guy, then do it. But it's not impossible to not have some of those dreams you have. You're strong and very capable, and you got a really great support system of friends. You're not alone." She assured her as she rubbed Sasha's back.

Sasha dropped her hands away from her eyes, tears glittered in them as she looked so pale and drawn by everything that was weighing on her. While to some it would seem like Naz hadn't gotten through but Mike could see that she had as Sasha didn't argue.

"I think I need to sleep." Sasha told her. Naz smiled in a warm manner.

"Ok, we'll go back to our quarters and get you into bed." Naz said, she and Sasha rose from their chairs. Within a few minutes, Naz and Mike had Sasha safely tucked away in her bunk without anyone on the ship being the wiser. The only sacrifice being the half eaten chocolate bar left in the wardroom but someone else would enjoy it..

"Thank you." Sasha mumbled with gratitude before she closed her eyes and drifted off. Naz and Mike left her to sleep as they stepped into the hallway outside Naz and Sasha's quarters.

"Sorry about that. Sometimes you just have to wash the shit off your liver." Naz told him in a low voice.

"Wash the shit off your liver?" Mike asked wryly as he hadn't heard that one before.

"You know, you just sit with someone you know and you just let it all out. What hurts, what has you resentful and in a bad mood. The idea is that once you say it out loud, it puts things into perspective and you just feel better as it's just out." she said and Mike frowned as it was a vague answer that kind of made sense. "Sometimes what comes out is meaningless and sometimes it's serious. But the point is that you're not snowballing it in your head into something bigger than what it is." she added with a matter of fact shrug.

"Makes sense." Mike said even if he didn't entirely get the concept.

"Mhm, either way she'll be ok in 48hrs and it will be like it never happened. Knowing my bad luck she'll end up married to Tom within the year." Naz half joked with a roll of her eyes.

"Still a little miffed with Tom?" Mike asked her in amusement. He was grateful she hadn't told Sasha about Tom's impromptu interrogation that ended in a heart 'episode'. Mike felt if Sasha knew, she'd be pissed and it would do serious damage because Sasha wanted there to be serious damage to put space between herself and Tom.

"Oh, I'm feeling very petty about what he did to me and the fact everyone thinks the sun shines out of his arse." Naz said with a laugh, Mike chuckled; he knew he shouldn't but he loved the honesty. "Would it kill him to say 'I'm sorry'?" she asked him.

"Apparently, he won't risk it." Mike joked as he had no clue what Tom was going to do and frankly he was staying out of it. Naz chuckled.

"He does have two kids to consider." Naz deadpanned, Mike smiled which she returned with one of her own before she gave a sigh. "I'll let it go in a few days. So don't worry about it being a thing." she assured him.

"I'm not worried." he told her, she gave a soft smile of appreciation. "So, we're getting married. You have a dress and a matron of honour." he said in amusement. Naz's smile broadened.

"Yeah, we really have to talk about the details on that and our future life together." Naz told him.

"We'll find the time when you're sober." he promised her. She grinned.

"Ok, well, I gotta go in there. Sober up, get some sleep." She told him, Mike nodded with a smile. She reached out with her good hand and Mike took it in his. She gave it a squeeze and they shared a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow for Scrabble." she told him.

"I'll see you then." Mike said, he released her hand and opened the door for her. Once she was safely inside he closed the door and headed back to his quarters.


	26. Chapter 26

The following morning,

Mike watched as Tom grew pale and then red cheeked with anger. It was just how he predicted. Tom hadn't known about the photos. It made Mike a little sick on Tom and Naz's behalf as their privacy had been violated for profit. Hell, the photos were enough to put anyone off balanced. While Naz was resigned and exhausted by the news, Tom was the opposite.

"I never- I didn't know I was being followed." Tom said as he looked at the three photos of him. One hand curled into a fist as two photos were of him alone while the third had Ashley and Sammy. The promotional flyer sold Tom and Naz; Naz was war while he was peace. Or at least it was the assumption from the photos. Tom felt like they were opposites as he felt like making war, while Naz seemed to not have a fighting bone in her body.

"Does Naz know?" Tom asked Mike as he read through the information and photos. Anger seeping into his body at his privacy and self-imposed isolation having been invaded and sold for public consumption. He knew these weren't the only photos and wondered how much this photojournalist was making from it.

It was one thing to stand for a photo op. In his uniform. It was another to have his time in Greece photographed so intimately without his awareness. But what pissed him off the most was that his children's right to privacy had been stripped from them. It was his job to protect them, how were they supposed to live a normal life with these photos out there. Photos that had to have been taken from a fair distance as Tom didn't remember anyone with a camera. If he had then he would've taken care of it.

"Yes, she doesn't want anything to do with it." Mike said as he sat opposite Tom in Mike's stateroom. On the coffee table was print outs of everything Andrea had sent him. Mike wanted Tom to be warned and needed time to digest as they'd be in Naples in a few hours. Tom would be home 20 hours after that. "I don't think she agreed to these photos being published or taken but she was conscripted so I'm sure there's a legal loophole that works against her. She has made it clear to me that she wants a normal life. To kick up a stink would throw that out the window." Mike added.

"She's sticking her head in the sand. Sounds about right given how she's lived her life, soaked in Nostos." Tom remarked snidely, he didn't mean to be a dick about it. But he'd hoped for an ally.

"People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Mike cautioned him.

"Well, I was never approached by a photographer, I gave no consent to this." Tom said ignoring Mike's comment. He looked at the photos of Naz. He could never imagine her wanting anyone to see her pain so visibly. He couldn't understand her want to ignore this invasion of her privacy. He certainly couldn't ignore his privacy being invaded.

"I figured and I'm sorry. I know you were hoping to come back and live under the radar. But apparently it won't be the case." Mike said.

"How long has it been open for?" Tom asked as he raked his fingers through his hair and then covered his mouth with his hand.

"A couple weeks, it's a popular attraction due to your notoriety. I don't much else except what Garnett shared. She'll know more when you get back as Darius; her fiancé took her to see the exhibit last night." Mike informed him.

"Right," Tom said as he moved to the information that Garnett had shared. It wasn't much except a brief description of the exhibit and other miscellaneous details.

"I wanted you to be prepared. You don't know the new SECNAV, he's a real political animal. I'm sure he'll be thinking of some kind of spin to use this to ramp up funding for the military and enlistment. He didn't like your disappearing act." Mike told him.

"I doubt anyone would enlist after looking at these photos." Tom said gesturing to Naz's pictures. There was nothing but visceral pain and isolation. "I resigned which meant it was my right to do what I want." Tom added.

"Not arguing that, but you resigned abruptly and disappeared for a very long time. What would have thought if our previous CNO had resigned with no warning, no seeming no reason to explain and became incommunicado like you had?" Mike said, Tom pursed his lips as he knew how it would look. Being on the outside, it would've look like Tom didn't agree with the administration and it's decisions and had abandoned the Navy because of it. It made people question whether they could trust their institution when their 'hero' abandoned it.

"It wouldn't look good." Tom admitted, he didn't feel it was his place to explain himself to the public or SECNAV. He was cognizant that they would expect their pound of flesh. For the first time since retaking the oath, he question if he had truly thought through what he was doing.

"Exactly, so just be prepared. SECNAV is a snake in the grass." Mike warned him.

* * *

"No cats." Naz said, Burk and Wolf looked really confused as they were discussing pet options over breakfast. It wasn't easy to eat with her left hand but she made do. Rios had taken off her cast and after cleaning her arm and applying ointment; it was replaced it with a removable splint. It wasn't the best option but Rios didn't have any other option given she was allergic to the plaster. Her rash was still present but had calmed down immeasurably and the itch was just a mere annoyance than driving her crazy.

"What's wrong with cats?" Burk asked her incredulously. Naz made a face as she swallowed the bite of breakfast.

"They taste worse than dogs. Their meat has a real sour aftertaste that is just rank. They barely have any meat on their bones. Cats also kill small birds and rats for fun, which means they are cutting into other food sources that I can eat before they have a chance to mature. Now, a dog will only kill when it's hungry or defending itself. And a good sized dog in a beautiful stew, you can live off for days. Cats… maybe two meals. It's not worth the investment." She told them in a matter of fact manner, Burk and Wolf looked disturbed while Azima smiled in amusement.

"This conversation went to place I'm not ready for." Burk confessed. Naz smiled before she took a sip of her protein shake which was surprisingly helping her hangover.

"So you look at Halsey and think dinner?" Wolf asked before he nodded to Sammy as the kid joined their table.

"Maybe a couple weeks ago, I'd consider it. When you're hungry enough, you'll eat anything." Naz drawled for humour's sake. But they all knew it was true. People did what they had to do to survive.

"Did you ever eat human?" Sammy asked her.

"No, I got onto Nostos before human was an option I had to consider. Though…" Naz drawled as she looked to Burk.

"Why are you looking at me?" Burk asked Naz as she looked him over as if sizing him up.

"He asked a question and I'm just considering how one sizes up a human for eating purposes." Naz drawled in amusement. Sammy and the others sniggered a laugh at Burk's expression.

"I'd be chewy and very gamy." Burk assured her, Wolf and Azima laughed.

"I don't mind and I don't know about chewy, you got nice padding." Naz told him, she even tried to reach across the table when he leaned back much to the amusement of the others at the table.

"Stop it. I'm not a piece of meat." Burk told her as she and the others at the table laughed.

"Relax, I'm kidding." Naz told him, "I would never eat human flesh as Prion disease looks like a horrible way to go." she added with a frown.

"Looks means you've seen it happen." Burk said looking disturbed by her choice of words. He sat as far back in his chair as it would allow but the mess chairs were fixed unlike the wardroom.

"Not firsthand and wow, you need to stop watching so much TV." Naz told him before she laughed again.

"You disturb me and it doesn't comfort me given you see man's best friend as a meal. It makes me think the only thing between us is a protein shake and a prayer." He told her, he watched her finish her shake with a disconcerting expression on his face.

"I'd relax, Mate." Wolf said as he clapped a hand on Burk's shoulder. "Captain Slattery is taller and has more meat on his bones than you. When he goes missing; then you worry." Wolf told Burk in a mocking manner.

"And on that lovely note, I have to go take my mid morning nap." Naz told them with a grin, she pushed up from her chair and headed to the kitchen to pick up Sasha's meal before leaving the mess.

* * *

Tom stopped in front of Sasha's quarters, his hand raised and about to knock when Naz appeared at his side. She cleared her throat and folded her arms across her chest. She looked like she hadn't had any sleep and her arm was in a splint instead of a cast. She carried a soft bag over her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she moved to lean against the door. Tom stepped back as he didn't want to give anyone walking past the wrong message.

"I wanted to speak with Sasha and you." Tom told her.

"If I told you to just leave her alone for the next 24 hours would you do it?" she asked him.

"No, not unless you could give me a good reason." Tom said, Naz gave a reluctant sigh.

"Sasha is unwell and isn't receiving visitors." Naz told him in a dry manner as she clearly wasn't interested in helping him out. Not that he blamed her for being unfriendly given their situation. "So, what do you want with me?" she asked him.

"The photo exhibit. I want to fight it, get a lawyer and have the exhibit closed. We could join up together and investigate it. Make a class action." Tom told her, Naz smiled and then laughed. "It's not funny." he told her in a serious manner.

"It is when you realise that my Immunity agreement doesn't mean automatic citizenship. So all the rights you perceive I have actually don't exist. All I have is the basic rights to food, shelter and safety... maybe a work visa but nothing more. So, thank you for reminding me of that fun fact of my life." Naz told him in a mocking manner, she even gave him the thumbs up. She felt upset and angry by his call to arms to fight something she couldn't. Something she didn't want to think about to begin with.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think." Tom said sincerely, he felt like an ass as she genuinely looked upset.

"Yeah, seems to be modus operandi for you when it comes to me. It can be rather life threatening when you think about it. So should I be concerned for my safety now?" Naz asked wryly.

"I deserve that." Tom said, Naz nodded.

"Yeah, now if you don't mind. I'd like you to leave before you further upset me into another heart 'episode' as Rios likes to call them." Naz told him, there was a sarcastic edge to her tone as he knew how the crew covered for him by diminishing his actions. "Look, I wish you luck in getting your photos down but leave me out of it. I don't want a spotlight on me, got it." she told him.

"Ok, I can respect that. I'll let you get to whatever you were doing." he told her.

"Thank you." she said looking relieved. Tom gave a nod and walked away. He knew he was giving up his last chance to speak with Sasha before he left. But he didn't feel it was right to cross paths with Naz until they were both on better ground. Something he knew would come in time.

* * *

Sasha pushed up at the sound of the door opening and closing. She felt like death warmed up, the last thing she remembered was talking in wardroom and the conversation was a little blurry in her mind. But she knew Naz and Mike were there.

"Breakfast is served." Naz said as the lights flickered on. Sasha winced at the brightness.

"Thank you." Sasha said as she took the bag Naz had placed on her bunk and pulled out the breakfast roll and bottle of water. "Did I hear Tom out there?" she asked, she figured it was best to acknowledge that elephant that was most likely sitting outside their room waiting.

"Yeah, he wants to speak with you. You should probably see him before he leaves. Just let him get the garbage out his system so you don't have to worry about what he's plotting to do when you get back." Naz said casually as she sat on the floor and leaned her back against the wall. Sasha however saw Naz's hands shaking and her pale face which told her that Tom had upset in some way.

"Is everything ok?" Sasha asked her, she had no interest in speaking to Tom. Not today, she couldn't stand the idea that he wanted to 'talk' to her as she could only imagine he give her a pep talk about life and grief. She didn't want one especially with her current hangover. But she knew she couldn't avoid him forever.

"Yeah, he talked about the photo exhibit. How we should fight it together. I reminded him that I couldn't given I have no country to call home. He was coming from a good place. He just didn't think it through." Naz said, she pursed her lips and Sasha felt there was a lot more that she was leaving out. But figured it wasn't her business to ask and Naz didn't look like she was in the sharing mood.

"I'll speak to him later." Sasha said as she wished she was home and in her own space. She had an ensuite bathroom in her townhouse in Washington. This room only had a sink which meant at some point she was going to have to leave and run into people. That meant being and looking functional, so she had no excuse to not say 'goodbye' to Tom.

"It's ok. It just upsets me and I have very low tolerance for stress at the moment." Naz added before she heaved in a breath and exhaled.

"Me too." Sasha said with a sad smile. "I'm sorry about last night. I was messy and I said a lot of-"

"It's ok." Naz said cutting her off. "We all need to vent as long as you feel better in the long run." she added.

"I don't at the moment. I'm hungover and mortified." Sasha told her.

"It'll pass. Now, you enjoy your meal. I'm going to pass out for a few hours." Naz said with a small smile as she pushed off the floor and climbed into the top bunk. Sasha gave her own small smile as she listened to Naz groan in exhaustion and sigh. She knew exactly how she felt.

* * *

"How's it going in here?" Mike asked Kara as he leaned against the open door frame. He waved her down as she had jack rabbited to her feet. She immediately relaxed her stance and sagged back onto the stool.

"Danny is ok, he's out cold. Rios has started a drip to keep him asleep and out of pain for the flight home." Kara said.

"How are you holding up?" he asked, he felt something lean against his leg and looked down to find Halsey sitting by his feet. The dog looked up at him and when to lick his hand but Mike was not having it as he folded his arms across his chest. He looked to Kara who wore a wry smile.

"Sorry, Sir. He thinks you're here to take him for his exercise." she explained.

"He'll have to be disappointed." Mike quipped, he hadn't missed that Kara didn't answer his question but he could see she was exhausted. He knew because she had spent majority of her time here or on duty.

"Taylor promised to come by in an hour to take him." Kara said.

"I'm not worried. I just wanted to check in." Mike said assuring her that Halsey was not a concern or problem for him. He just wanted to check in with the crew every now and then. Make sure he was completely removed that his crew couldn't approach him when things got tough.

"I appreciate it. But I'm ok." Kara assured him.

"No one would think any less of you, if you wanted to go back to the states with Green. To be with him and Frankie." Mike told her, letting her know the option was there. He definitely wouldn't judge her for wanting to go, if he were in her shoes; he would given it was now a easy sail home.

"My shoulder isn't that bad and I couldn't leave. You need a TAO." Kara told him.

"We'd make do." He assured her, Kara looked a little annoyed and he realised that his casual air was being misread.

"With respect Sir, I gave you my word that I'd be here as your TAO until you got a replacement. My home is squared away. My mother and Brother in law have everything in hand. So, I'd like to stay on board and travel home with the Nathan James." she assured him.

"Ok." he said, he took a couple steps but stopped as he remembered something Naz had shown him when she handled Sasha. He saw something between the two, how Naz talked about the importance of being recognised and acknowledged even if it didn't physically affect anything. He turned and moved back to the door. Kara looked to him. "I respect your decision. I appreciate you sticking with us. I know it's not easy as a parent or a spouse to be away from our loved ones. To make the sacrifices we do when everything feels like it's in crisis mode." he told her, he didn't wait for her to speak as he continued to talk.

"I don't know what your long term plans are career wise. If you're sticking with the Navy or moving on after this whatever your decision- I want you know that you're one of the best sailors I've served with. You put in the hard yards and it hasn't gone unnoticed. We see your long term potential. If you stick with us; I can see you taking over my Captaincy one day and going even further." he told her, he meant every word. He wasn't one to give lengthy speeches but he felt Kara needed to be told she was noticed, that she wasn't the only one who struggled between career and family.

"Really?" Kara asked, she looked a mix of surprised and touched.

"Yeah, but don't think I'm going to be easy and just give up the Nathan James to you." he told her, she gave a small laugh. Mike gave a closed lip smile.

"No, Sir." She replied with a smile, she looked more buoyed in that moment as he had laid down the gauntlet. It was up to her, if she wanted to pick it up. If she didn't, well at least she knew she hadn't quit due to being a failure because she wasn't.

"Good, now get your husband off the ship and when you come back. Take 24 hours R&R before reporting to CIC. I need my TAO well rested and on the ball." he told her.

"Yes, Sir." Kara replied, Mike gave a nod and left her to be with her husband.

* * *

"Last ones off the ship." Mike remarked to Tom later that afternoon as the RHIB came back. Kara had just come back onto the ship after seeing her husband get transferred into the care of the medical flight crew. She looked uneasy but it was to be expected. He made a mental note to surreptitiously check in with her in a few days.

"You can change your mind." Tom told him with a hopeful expression.

"Nope, I feel pretty good about kicking you off." Mike told him with a closed lip smile.

"Between you and Meylan, I just feel loved." Tom remarked drily, as no one made any moves to make him feel welcome to stay. But it was ok, he got it. His time on the Nathan James was finished, he needed to accept that he had to settle down from his cowboy ways and be a more traditional leader.

"I'll see you in two weeks." Mike said, he tilted his head forward, and Tom turned to see Sasha. Mike stepped away to give them space.

"Hey," Sasha said to Tom.

"Hey, how have been?" Tom asked, she looked terrible; like she hadn't been sleeping like Naz claimed. While she had herself fairly together, there were rough edges like the dark circles under her blood shot eyes, her hair was just a little out of frizzy. Her body looked stiff, the air between them fraught and distinctly awkward. Tom had no idea what to say or do, he definitely wanted to touch her but her body language screamed not to come near her.

"Ok, I'm better." Sasha said but he could see it was a lie. He really wished she would just tell him what was going on as she looked like she was in pain.

"You sound better. You coming with us?" Tom asked, hoping she would leave the ship but he didn't see a bag.

"No, I got things here that I have to do. But I wanted to say sorry for my behaviour. For a lot of things actually." Sasha admitted.

"I think I'm the one who should be apologising." Tom said honestly as he didn't know what she had to apologise for at all. He was the ass who left and never called or even wrote an email. Even if they weren't a couple, it was still a shitty thing to do as a friend. He had acknowledged if he could go back he would've sent at least one email to say he was safe and he'd contact her again when he was ready before going completely incommunicado.

"Maybe we both do. So, how about we call it even?" she asked him, Tom breathed a sigh of relief as it sounded good. It wasn't a clean slate but it was better than nothing. Anything was better than being impersonal as she was standing here acknowledging him. It gave him hope.

"Definitely." Tom told her. Sasha nodded as she looked away for a moment.

"Look, I got stuff I have to deal with when I get back stateside. But I hope I can call on you as a friend." Sasha said as she looked back to him.

"I always was and will always be your friend. So, when you need me just call me." He told her sincerely, as he felt like someone was finally smiling down on him. Friends was something he could work with. It meant he was back in her life in a more meaningful way than when he'd left.

"Ok." Sasha said with a nod.

"I'll email my number, so you have it and my email." He told her, she gave a weak laugh, it sounded like music to his ears. But it was short lived as silence lapsed between them.

"Safe travels." Sasha told him, ending the conversation as she clearly reached her limit. It was ok, as he got more than he'd expected.

"You too." Tom told her, he watched her walk away. He knew he should feel disappointed by the lack of physical contact or being demoted to friends but it was better than being impersonal and he felt genuinely uplifted.

"Dad, it's time to go." Ashley told him impatiently. Tom gave a sigh as he looked at the Nathan James taking her in one last time. The last time he left the ship had been in a rush, but today it was final. No one stood around to give him one final salute as the ship was in full swing getting ready to leave. It was tough to leave, tough to not be acknowledged like he once had been.

* * *

Later that evening, the ship was well on its way to America.

The crew seemed to be weirdly tense thanks to them having nearly everything they wanted. The injured sailors and seeds were enroute for home. Mike had a feeling no one would be able to completely relax until those seeds were back stateside and curing the infected crops.

But he found he was doing pretty well in the relaxing department as he and Naz sat in the wardroom playing a second round of Scrabble together.

"This is just terrible." Naz said shaking her head as she looked at her pitiful score and the tiles she had to play. There was no way she could win this round.

"I know, do you know how to keep your collar straight?" Mike asked her being purposefully obtuse but making a sound point as he had already fixed her collar over few hours ago. Yet it was a wrinkled, half up, half down mess.

Naz smiled as she kind of liked how uptight Mike was about her clothing. It was kind of cute. She also kind of liked how he noticed the small things and then fixed them. It made her weirdly cared for and maybe after so long on her own, keeping her clothes a little messy on purpose allowed her physical contact without directly asking for it.

"Maybe it's my look." Naz told him with amusement, Mike looked ready to fix her collar again.

"As well as miss buttoning your shirt?" He asked her, Naz looked down and noticed her shirt was indeed miss buttoned but in her defence; she hadn't done it purpose. No, she changed in the dark as Sasha had spent majority of the day and night sleeping in their quarters. Once she was out the door, the only requisite she had for herself was that she wasn't flashing anything that would be considered 'rude'.

"Nothing slips by you." Naz said mockingly as she looked up at him.

"Are you flirting with me?" Mike asked her with a teasing smile, he didn't know why but he sensed something going on. He was liking it as it was rare for a woman to flirt with him. But then he usually wore a shut off expression and worked. No one under his command dared to cross that line with him. Something he was thankful for.

"Trying it out. Too much?" she asked with a self conscious frown.

"No, but the buttons are distracting." He told her, she looked relieved at him not turning her down. He wondered if the flirting was genuine or just practice for when they were a 'couple' and under scrutiny.

"Your score says otherwise." She pointed out before she gave a yawn.

"Tired?" he asked her.

"A little, my rash is better but lack of sleep has thrown me off. I need coffee or sugar." She told him, Mike rose from his chair and pulled his cupcake from the bakery box and placed it on the table.

Bacon had made celebratory cupcakes from what little they had. Mike honestly had no idea what was in them, but Bacon assured him that the recipe was made from obscure ingredients he was struggling to use in the kitchen. So all Mike could think of was chocolate mousse... well, he stopped there as sometimes it was better to not know what he was eating and just be grateful to have food. This was one of them.

"Here." he told her.

"It's your cupcake." she said, Mike sat back down.

"We'll share. I know you let one of the Chandler kids have yours before they left." he told her, Naz gave a shrug as she was guilty as charged in that regard.

"A quarter, you should spoil yourself with three quarters and be happy Meylan didn't eat it first." She reminded him, Mike knew he was lucky as Meylan had a serious sweet tooth and loved baked delights.

"I know, he won't shut up about it. He said if it was still there by morning; he'd take it. But I know that he won't because it breaks an unspoken code." Mike told her, he took a knife from the cutlery on the table and cut it into quarters.

"Aren't you supposed to be above such juvenile antics?" she asked him in amusement, as Mike placed one lone quarter into the bakery box to annoy Meylan.

"Yeah, which is what makes it so enjoyable." Mike told her before he ate a quarter. He carved what was left after Naz took her portion; in half and then pushed her way as a silent offering. "I have the leftovers of your chocolate from the other night. I rescued it for you and Sasha." he told her.

"Thank you." she said with a smile. "So, I'm thinking maybe we discuss finer points of our return in your quarters sometime soon." she suggested before she ate her piece of cake in one bite.

"I agree, one thing I know about quiet cruise home is that people will get bored and start taking notice of what's going on the ship." He told her, he ate his own piece and inwardly smiled as he'd forgotten how good cake was.

"Yeah, I think they are there already." Naz said with a chuckle.

"Yes, I heard that you might be a cannibal and I might be your first meal plan." Mike said before he grinned as he had learnt that it was always good to keep an ear out for scuttlebutt. Not because it was every informative but for entertainment purposes.

"Only if all other food sources are unavailable. First signs are if I'm massaging Bacon to turn him into Waygu steak and you've disappeared." Naz said jokingly. Mike laughed and shook his head.

"I'll worry when we run out of food." Mike quipped.

"And when I start seasoning you with salt and pepper." she bantered. Mike snorted a laugh, she laid down her tiles. "Double letter and triple word score." she said smugly.

"Impressive." he said as he adjusted her score.

"So, just for the moment. We're telling everyone that we're friends and I'm going to be living with you. We are going to do the BBQ smokehouse dinner thing right?" Naz asked him.

"Yes, we are." he assured her.

"Good cause I'm looking forward to it. So, what does your house look like?" she asked him, changing topic away from food.

"Single story 4 bedroom house with two bathroom, two toilets. It's on a cul de sac." Mike said, he traced out the floor plan on the table with his finger as he described the layout with more details. "Not sure how the exterior of the house is looking, my neighbours on the right side have taken down the common fence between our properties." he said.

"Why?" Naz asked out of curiosity.

"Put in a large vegetable and herb garden, red rust hasn't hit a lot them yet. So when they wrote asking permission to enter my property and use the backyard. It was a no brainer, they grow food and keep the front yard tamed for me in my absence." he told her with a shrug.

"It's a good idea." Naz said.

"Yeah, they stay out of the main house but I let Andrea give them access to the garage. So they can use the tools I have to maintain the exterior. It's a shame to let it all collect dust. Andrea checks in with them every couple weeks. Makes sure everything is in order." Mike said.

"Andrea is your counterpart?" Naz asked.

"Yes, we're also friends, she and I have served together for a long time. She was Chief of Engineering before she became my XO, then she took a posting stateside. You'll meet her in a fortnight, she wants us to have dinner with her fiance. You'll like her. She's good people." Mike told her.

"I look forward to meeting her." Naz told him. She wore a smile as she noticed his eyes straying to her buttons. "My buttons are still distracting you." she stated wryly.

"Yes," he said with a laugh. "Did you get dress in the dark?" he asked her.

"Well, yes but I have a singlet under the shirt. So it's not like I'm flashing my goods and the buttons are so finicky." she complained drily, showing her hands and the fact that she struggled to move her fingers on her broken arm side before she gave a grin.

"May I?" he asked offering to right her buttons. Naz wore a closed lip smile and nodded.

"Knock yourself out, but they are probably going to be a mess tomorrow." she promised him.

"I'll just fix them then too, let the people think what they want." he said as he finished the last button and leaned back in his chair.

"It doesn't bother you? that people are talking?" she asked him.

"They will talk no matter what. As long as we're professional in the open, then they can presume what they want about what we do behind closed doors. It's what we want." Mike said.

"It is, but maybe you could just let me win one game of Scrabble." Naz suggested with a hopeful smile.

"How will you learn if I just hand you the game?" Mike asked her teasingly.

"I'll learn that you're a benevolent Scrabble player who considers my poor ego and limited vocabulary skills when it comes to American English." Naz replied with a smile.

"I'll think about it." Mike said Naz snorted a laugh before dropping her head onto the table and giving a mocking groan. Mike couldn't help but laugh at the theatrics. It felt good.


	27. Chapter 27

 

"Oh my god! She lives!" Burk proclaimed as Sasha came to their table in the mess and sat down from breakfast a day later.

"What?" She asked them as she felt all their eyes on her.

"You look wrecked for being in bed for nearly three days straight." Wolf told her, trust an Australian to have zero tact. It proved that Sasha should've put on more concealer that morning. But whatever, she wasn't going to bother now as there was no more hiding. She had spent enough time wallowing in her pain and what she had learnt beyond Halsey being silent and deadly, was that she needed to be around people.

"That's my fault, I'm an insatiable lover." Naz quipped before she ate a forkful of scrambled eggs.

"I'm sorry what?" Burk asked looking a little blankly as he clearly jumped to conclusions.

"Joking, she snores." Naz told him. Sasha frowned and then smiled wryly as Burk looked disappointed.

"She does not snore. Sasha sleeps like she is literally dead. She's so pale, doesn't move and barely breathes it looks like she is dead. I had to check her pulse to make sure she was alive." Azima corrected Naz before she took a sip of her drink and ate some of her breakfast.

"You poked me awake and asked me if I had died." Sasha told Azima as she remembered sharing watches with Azima on overnight missions.

"Same as checking a pulse. Do I look like I'm a doctor?" Azima asked her incredulously as the others at the table looked amused.

"No and I feel pretty good. Thank you all for caring." Sasha said and she wasn't lying. She woke up and realised she needed a shower. More importantly she had to leave the room. Sure, she was still in grief but it wasn't as pronounced and she felt she could face the day. She felt if she surrounded herself with happy people then maybe it would rub off.

Her need for a shower probably came from the fact Naz had Halsey in her care again. She had brought the dog into their room. Sure, he was cute and great at puppy cuddles but his farts were a bio-weapon. So even if she had wanted to stay, she couldn't.

"Well, we were thinking of sending a care package; if you stayed away any longer." Burk quipped.

"Naz brought Halsey into our room. He gassed us out." Sasha said, she smiled as many laughed, Naz leaned over and scratched Halsey behind the ear; showing her appreciation.

"That works too." Wolf said with a laugh.

"Exercise is good for the soul." Naz told her in a sage manner, Sasha wore a wry smile as she didn't entirely agree but she let her have it.

She did pour out a lot of emotional mess and Naz had listened to it all. She held zero judgement and it was like nothing in the last 24 hours had turned sour. If anything Sasha felt a little better for being flawed and human instead of this invincible wonder woman that she felt she had to be all the time. She also knew in her bones saying goodbye to Tom had been good for her even if she still felt lousy for it. But in the long run, she was making good decisions and moves.

"Maybe we should exercise together. Now you have a removable cast. You can sweat." Azima told Naz with a gleeful smile.

"Why do you look so gleeful about making me exercise?" Naz asked her.

"I have my reasons which the rules of the mess do not allow me to share. I will tell you later." Azima told her.

"I'm not running or doing anything that involves moving my arm." Naz told her.

"I know, and I know just what to do with you." Azima said with a grin.

"I'm not sure if I should be turned on or scared." Naz deadpanned.

"Both." Wolf told her, the table erupted into laughter. Sasha laughed with them feeling better for being around her friends.

* * *

Tom and his kids walked out the back of the C130 onto the tarmac, a chill in the air greeted them. It was an overcast afternoon in Norfolk. He was surprised at how good it felt to be back on American soil.

He smiled as Andrea walked towards them, she was dressed in a large overcoat and with a cap on her head. She looked good as she strode towards them.

"Captain Chandler." She said in greeting as they meet to a stop. She saluted him, he returned it.

"Commander Garnett." He said, a smile on his lips as it was good to see her.

"Welcome home." she told them with her own smile.

"Kids, you remember Commander Garnett?" Tom said to Sammy and Ashley. He knew it was a stretch to have them be bouncing with joy given the long flight and little sleep. But he was grateful when both his kids mustered a smile.

"Hi," Ashley said to Andrea.

"Hey." Sammy said as the two stood around awkward and exhausted on their feet.

"It's good to see you all again. So, come on; let's get out of cold and back home." Andrea said not wasting their time as she held out her car keys and motioned for them to follow her.

"Should you be driving?" Tom started to ask but Andrea gave him a look.

"I got pregnant not lobotomized." Garnett told him, Tom smiled as Andrea still had her bite.

"Of course. So how are you?" he asked her as they started walking towards the car park.

"I'm doing great. You three look like hell." she told them.

* * *

Mike strode across the front of the ship and stopped just at where Naz was laying on the ground in the mid morning sun. Halsey laid on the ground with his head on Naz's stomach. She had ear phones in, listening to music as she lazily stroked Halsey's head.

He moved into her sun and folded his arms looking down at her. It didn't take long for her to open her eyes and look up at him.

"Hey." She said sleepily.

"You ok?" he asked her.

"Azima made me do pilates. It wasn't gentle." she told him, he snorted a laugh. "Am I in the way?" she asked him, she went to push herself up but Mike shook his head as he could see she was struggling.

"No, you're fine." he said, Naz laid back down with a groan. Halsey resumed his position as he rested his head back onto her stomach. "Do you need me to peel you off the ground?" he asked her in a teasing manner.

"You laugh but I may need that in an hour. How's your day?" she asked him.

"Good, the plane landed safely in Norfolk. Seeds and cure are stateside." Mike informed her.

"That's great." Naz said with genuine warmth.

"It is, I just wanted to share the good news with you." he told her. She smiled as she liked that she was his go-to person.

* * *

"Now, I made sure you got at least a month's worth of Soylent and only a week's worth of MREs. We've had to start rationing the MREs and you'll have to go to the PX for your biweekly allotments of fresh food. It's not much but we make do with what we got." Andrea told Tom as she drove them through the base. Tom looked at all the familiar houses. It had changed a lot since the last time he'd been in Norfolk. The houses were no longer abandoned. There were signs of life as garbage and signs of red crosses had been removed.

"Thank you." Tom said.

"What's Soylent?" Ashley asked from the backseat.

"It's a meal replacement drink. It provides you with all the body's nutritional needs in one cup." Andrea told her.

"Doesn't sound good." Ashley said.

"Actually, it's not that bad and you save on washing up. But don't tell my fiancé that as he's a total food snob." Andrea said.

"Who is this mystery man?" Tom asked.

"Darius, you'll meet him soon enough. You should be more worried about SECNAV and Admiral Wilder." Andrea told him.

"Why? Is it about the photo exhibit?" he asked, he had already warned the kids about it. His plans on how to get his photos and theirs taken down. It was at the top of his list.

"I don't know it all. I do know some of it has to do with the exhibit. You know, it was incredible to see it all. It makes you appreciate what you have as what happened in Europe was horrific. I thought Asia was bad." Andrea said.

"My section?" Tom asked her.

"It's not that bad, it answered a lot of questions I had." Andrea said thoughtfully.

"I'd prefer to have been asked the questions than you get them from an art show." Tom told her.

"Maybe you'll feel differently when you see it for yourself. You walk in and it's like a journey of pain and misery and then at the end of it all you see everyone come back together, rebuild, happiness in the bleakest of moments. I don't know, I felt moved by the exhibit. I'm not one for art." Andrea remarked in an offhanded manner.

"We'll see." Tom said diplomatically. "Mike tell you about Nasrin Khan?" he asked, changing the topic just slightly.

"Yes, I think it's good. I don't know her but I've seen her photos and honestly I got-" she stopped as tears burned her eyes and she was overcome for a moment. She blew out a breath, "It got me good but that might be the hormones. But Mike sounds happier than he has since-" she stopped as she was fighting hard to not cry yet again. "Well, it's good. We all deserve a little bit of happiness." she said with a smile.

"True." Tom said as he couldn't argue that one.

"Here we are." Andrea said as she pulled the car to a stop outside their home. Tom looked up to see the yard was in great shape and the flag was flying on the porch. "I didn't have anyone inside of the house, but I got someone to come around and keep the front and backyard in shape." she told him.

"Thank you." he said, she gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze. They all piled out of the car, the kids raced up the steps with their bags. Tom followed at a slower pace. He pulled out his house keys and for the first time in over a year, he slid the keys into the lock. He turned it and frowned as the key got a little stuck in the lock. But with a little jiggle and a bit more strength the lock gave way and the door opened. The smell of musty stale air and dust hit his senses first.

The kids slowed in their exuberance as they too felt it. They were home, but it didn't feel like home. It felt like a shell of their former life. They had let it sit in disrepair a long with their grief and their lives. At least in that moment was how Tom felt.

"Well, we need to open some windows." Andrea said speaking up. Tom was grateful she was here as she gave them purpose and reminded them to not dwell.

"I'll do upstairs." Ashley said jumping into action first.

"Let's go, all the downstairs' windows." Tom said to Sammy, his son nodded as he dropped his bag and started running around opening the windows.

"Utilities should all be on. I turned on water myself but I'd be gentle with the plumbing as it's been a while since it's been used." Andrea told him.

"We will." Tom said as he walked into the kitchen and turned the taps. It took a few seconds for the water to stream as it should but it seemed to be in working order.

"Well, I'll leave you guys to it." Andrea told him.

"Thank you." he told her, she gave a smile and nod before she left the house. Tom looked around the kitchen, his hands flat on the bench as he leaned on it for support. He was back, the house felt empty without Darien and his father in it. He listened to the kids opening the windows to freshen up the place. He realised it was time for him to pull on his boots and get to work at being the Dad they needed.

* * *

"You're looking happier." Mike told Sasha as he found her in the wardroom looking over paperwork. He was surprised at how much there was. It looked like it was about as much as he had piled on his desk if not more.

"I spoke with scientists back home and they said that they are predicting the cure will salvage any crops that hadn't been harvested yet. They'll have to do tests but if it's edible then the food crisis isn't as dire as first predicted." Sasha said with a smile.

"That's good." Mike said.

"It is. I hope it's true as I just want this winning streak to keep happening." Sasha told him, her phone call with her bosses had been more positive than she had expected. She was not going to think too deeply on it, just take everything at face value.

"So, do I. How are you in general?" he asked her.

"I'll be ok. I spoke with my bosses, they're giving me a couple days off and then they want a full review." Sasha told him.

"You'll be fine." Mike assured her.

"We'll see." Sasha said, she holding a lot of hope as ONI wasn't as forgiving as regular Navy. "But other than that, it will be good as I need the time to go home and get my head together." she said.

"Washington." Mike said, Sasha nodded.

"Yep, gotta find that dress for Naz." Sasha told him.

"She was joking." Mike told her, Sasha quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Was she?" Sasha asked him, Mike gave her a blank look but she pressed on. "I told you about her situation. Next thing I know, you two are just hitting it off. People are talking. I'm not against it. I want to help, I want to back you guys, Naz deserves a chance at a better life. I honestly think you both make each other happy even if it's just as friends." she told him.

"I enjoy her company." Mike admitted.

"So, confess." Sasha said with a smile, Mike looked around the room. The door was closed and the Galley was empty. It was just them.

"Yeah, I'm helping her out. We're going to get married as quickly as possible, so she can get a jump start on naturalising to become an American citizen." he told her in a low voice.

"You know it's not fraud if you genuinely care for one another. Well, at least in my books it isn't." She told him with a shrug as she leaned back in her chair.

"You should be talking me out of it." he told her.

"Tom will do that for you." Sasha assured him, Mike snorted a laugh.

"True, him and Meylan. The two finally have something to agree on and fight for together." Mike quipped, Sasha threw her head back and laughed as Mike wasn't far from the truth on that score.

"Who cares, as long as you're both consenting adults and happy with arrangement then go for it." Sasha told him.

"Thanks and can we stop talking about it?" he asked her as it made him a little uncomfortable. But he also wanted to protect her, the less she knew before everyone else the better for them all.

"Ok and thank you." she told him with a warm smile.

"For what?" he asked in confusion.

"For being a good man and a good friend." she told him.

"Ok, keep it together Cooper." Mike said gruffly as Sasha smiled.

* * *

A few days later,

"Teaching." Tom said in disbelief as he wasn't sure he heard them correctly. He sat in Admiral Wilder's office with SECNAV Joshua Reiss and his PR consultant Julia Bennington. The meeting was not going well.

"It's best you keep a low profile but maintain a somewhat highly distinguished position in the military." Joshua told him, he was a man in his late 40s dressed and quaffed immaculately like he was ready for a photo op at the drop of a hat. He spoke with the practised ease of a politician.

"With respect, I was expecting shore duty or at least my own command. I should hold a more active role than teaching. I am a Captain, I have the highest security clearance level-" Tom started but he was cut off by Joshua.

"Your security clearance has been revoked since the cure arrived on American soil. Honestly, the whole reason we brought you back into the fold was to protect the Navy's reputation and you. Not just you but also every decision you made and lives you've affected in the last 3 years. The scandal that would come out of it" Joshua shook his head, "Navy would not survive it. So, we spin this better for everyone. Teaching is the most noble of occupations." Joshua told him with an easy smile. He spoke with a casual air but there was an undertone that told Tom that the man thought he was doing Tom a huge favour.

"Is this a joke?" Tom asked as he felt like they were out to get him. That they had severely judged him for outcomes that were out of his control.

"It's not. Your security clearance has been pulled and your rank as Captain is an honorary one at best." Admiral Wilder told him, a man Tom once deeply respected and got along with; but apparently not anymore as Wilder looked at Tom like he were rabid dog that had to put down.

"What did I do that was so wrong, Sir?" Tom asked him. Wilder's lips pressed into a thin line as he gave Tom a stony look as Julia spoke up.

"You're a PR nightmare. You resigned abruptly 16 months ago and the byline was that it was for 'personal reasons'… which is fine but after the photo exhibit and well those online videos of your fights. Well, it makes you look like a man with deep seated anger issues who lost his sanity which begs of the question of when you started to crack? Did more people die because of it? Or is an ongoing issue? People want their leaders to be level headed, calm, confident, strong, a man with integrity. All the things you currently aren't at the moment." Julia Bennington said truthfully, Tom already hated the small blonde woman as she was apparently some media guru who SECNAV deferred to. She loved buzz words and putting a positive twist on things. "But you can be by becoming a respected teacher changes the narrative. You've had your time away and now you're back to make a meaningful impact on the Navy culture in shaping the young minds of the future generations of sailors." She added with a smile. She was as slimy as a used car salesman and Tom felt like he was the lemon on the car lot.

"We need to spin a better story, the media to see you in a more positive light. If we put you into our more active operations, we could get mixed results and God forbid if we lose anymore personnel… it would be a mess and make getting a bigger budget for next year a complete nightmare." Joshua told him, shaking his head. Tom wore an incredulous expression as he couldn't believe the nerve of these people.

"Are you saying I'm a liability in every sense of the word?" Tom asked them.

"At the moment? Yes, which why we need to invest your time and experience back into the Navy. As CNO you lost 5.2 billion dollars worth of assets. You ignored sovereign borders, inflicting your will and our military forces with no regard in Asia and with zero concern about what you left behind." Julia told him with a helpful smile. She and Joshua shared looks that were cryptic to Tom and yet at the same time condescending. Tom bit his tongue to correct the women on the location where the ships sank but felt it would be in poor taste.

"It's not good for the military to look like a bad investment to the American tax payers and I honestly don't see what the issue is about being a teacher. I do guest lectures all the time, it's very rewarding. We're not going to pony you around or make a media circus of your return either. We respect your want for privacy." Joshua told him.

"Not enough to shut down the photo exhibit or to allow me to protect my children's right to privacy." Tom said, he didn't know what to do. On one hand he wanted to shout and scream at them for tearing him to shreds. Treating him like he was a leper but on the other hand.

"We'll look into for you. Now, Miss Bennington and I have to leave." Joshua said, he and Julia rose from their chairs as did Tom and the Admiral. After a few more words were exchanged it just Tom and the Admiral.

"Sir, I feel like I'm being punished." Tom said frankly to Wilder.

"You are and you will take it with grace as you are one lucky son of a bitch." Admiral Wilder told him. Tom blinked and then frowned as he didn't get it.

"What did I do that was so wrong?" Tom asked again, he had several victories under his belt and yet he felt like he was being punished left, right and centre.

"Just to name my favourite. You disrespected the country you served when you covered Michener's crimes, his mental instability, his attempted suicide and then you installed him into the highest position of authority in this country. You may have done it with the best intentions but it was still fraudulence of the worst ki-"

"It wasn't disrespect, I made tough decisions in an impossible situation. I did what I had to, to save this country and our people. Michener was good for the people. My actions as Captain of Nathan James speak for themselves. We got the cure for Red Flu, for Red Rust, we stopped a coup and re-installed the true government. We stopped the genocide in Asia. We saved many lives." Tom said defending himself and his crew.

"We're at DEFCON 2 because of you and your little safari through Asia. So, stop bitching and take your orders like a real sailor and count your blessings you're not being thrown into a deep hole and forgotten about altogether." Admiral Wilder told him in a sharp manner.

"Yes, Sir." Tom said as he snapped to attention, but every word the man said to him burned him with guilt and anger. Anger because he didn't deserve to be dressed down for actions that were out of his control. He wanted to argue until he was blue in the face that he was not at fault. But he knew the man wouldn't listen.

"Go, report to Naval College tomorrow at 0800 hours." He told him Tom took barely two steps towards the door when Wilder called his name.

"Captain Chandler." Wilder said.

"Sir?" Tom asked.

"Remember that you're living in a house of cards. One wrong move and it will all crash down. While I won't be sorry to lose you, I would hate to lose a lot of good sailors because your blithe actions. Understood?" He asked.

"Yes, Sir." Tom said as he read between the lines.

* * *

"Wow, Wilder is tough. No doubt but I didn't think he'd be that blatant." Andrea said as she and Tom sat outside enjoying the Autumn sun while they ate lunch. Tom filled her in one everything that had happened.

"It's easy for people to judge when they weren't the ones in the hot seat. Hindsight is a bitch. They don't like to think that maybe we'd all be dead if I hadn't made the right call. They just want to blame me for all their problems." Tom told her as he had vented what happened.

"I don't think so." Andrea said diplomatically but it didn't feel that way to Tom.

"You're on their side?" Tom said, as he felt like she wasn't entirely agreeing or disagreeing with him. It annoyed him.

"No, I'm playing devil's advocate. You took a lot of heavy losses in the past three years. They aren't entirely wrong about Asia. There is a concern that another war is coming. I don't think it's your fault that is the situation." Andrea said with a sigh before she took a sip of her drink.

"Gee, thanks." Tom said dryly.

"Our actions in Asia were a catalyst. I think we'd be exactly where we are now, no matter what. I appreciate you coming to get us back then. I certainly wasn't enjoying my time in that camp with the pirates." Andrea told him in a casual manner but there was a tense note to her body language.

"What happened there? How did we get to DEFCON 2?" Tom asked incredulously, hoping she could clear it up for him.

"I can't tell you anything." Andrea told him.

"Are you kidding me?" Tom asked her incredulously.

"No, I like my job and I need it. You don't have clearance and anyway, there's nothing you can do as you have your orders." Andrea reminded him.

"I feel like I've been neutered." Tom remarked drily and Andrea just smiled at him. "Do you know what it's like to be stripped of everything you worked for your entire career?" Tom asked her. She shot him a no nonsense look.

"Really? You're asking me, a woman about what it's like to struggle? Come on, you know better." She told him as she shook her head at him.

"No sympathy at all?" he asked her.

"None, you came back after over a year off and got a great assignment which allows you to have a normal life. You can juggle your kids and work while still serving your country in a meaningful way. I will lose a year to be with my kid and see maybe a quarter of the benefits you're getting now, when I come back. Do you see me bitching about it? No, you take what you get and you make the best of it." Andrea told him.

Tom chagrined as she was right. Women did have a raw deal, even if they understood the sacrifice, it still didn't seem entirely fair. But he still hated how he'd been stripped of his position of power and he would have to get over it.

* * *

Mike straightened his BDU jacket and then looked down at his ring on his left hand. He gave a sigh as he'd worn it because it brought him comfort. It was like a memento of his past, a symbol that he'd been loved and he'd loved. Now, he looked at it and it just reminded him that that part of his life was over. Christine and the kids were gone, they would always hold a special part of his heart. But he realised he had to let them go.

He could pretend all he wanted that it was for his plan with Naz. How would he convince people he loved Naz, when he was wearing his wedding band from a previous wedding. It felt wrong to do that to Naz and even himself. He gently pulled off the ring for the first time in years and turned it in his fingers.

He felt a sadness wash over him as it was over. The last sign that showed he was holding onto his grief and his family. He opened the bedside table and lifted out the box with the iPod and other family mementos. He kissed the ring and placed inside for safe keeping as he silently told himself it was the right thing to do.

Once the box was safely in the bedside table drawer. He closed it and looked at his left ring finger. He flexed his fingers as it felt almost unnatural to not wear a ring. He huffed a sardonic laugh as he took off the ring but he still had a tan line of it. It would barely fade before a new ring would be in its place.

Part of him was weirdly pleased as it may have pained him to remove his wedding ring, he was gaining something with the new ring. A temporary wife, family, a friend outside the military and his command structure. After years of loneliness. Suffering the unknown of if his family was alive or not; he had someone at his side again. He had Naz, maybe when she left. He would be in a better place to manage his life alone. But until then he'd enjoy her company and presence in his life.

With that thought in his mind, he picked up his cap and strode out of his room feeling a weight lifted from shoulders.


	28. Chapter 28

"Just lay it on me." Naz told Rios as she blew out a breath and winced in pain as she sat down on the stool.

"You ok?" Rios asked her with concern as he had asked her to come in to talk about her blood test results. He had taken what felt like half a pint of blood a couple days ago while doing a check-up. He had been happy with her recovery but wanted to run rigorous tests of her blood to see what was going on Nostos wise.

She felt like a mixed bag. Most of the time, she felt tired and sore but she couldn't sleep for more than two-three hours a night. She knew her blood work would come back with bad news. She felt broken at the best of times. This moment would just confirm that she had messed herself up completely. But the truth was she had never expected to be here. To be alive in general. She was trying her best to work through her issues and keep moving forward. It just wasn't as easy as she thought it would be.

"You have a vitamin D deficiency but everything is looking on the up and up." He told her as he looked over her paperwork just to make certain he hadn't missed anything.

"Ok, I was expecting something worse." Naz said, feeling relieved and a little annoyed at herself for worrying. It seemed the Powers that be wanted her alive for a very long time.

"Feels rather anticlimactic." he said with a closed lip smile.

"Yes, so what can I do to fix it?" Naz asked him.

"More time in the sun is the best you can do until we get stateside. Then you'll have access to more Vitamin D enriched foods." he told her, Naz nodded taking in his words.

"Ok, I can get in some more sunlight." Naz said, it wasn't like she had anything to do.

"Remember sunscreen but I do believe the fresh air and sunlight will also help with any depression, insomnia you're experiencing." Rios added.

"Excuse me?" Naz asked as she didn't remember telling him about it.

"It's normal for anyone getting clean from long term drug use or when they've suffered trauma such as a heart attack. Hell, anyone who survived the pandemic has depression to a certain degree. I can tell you're not getting enough sleep by the dark circles under your eyes." Rios said in a matter of fact manner.

Naz blew out a breath as it was too exhausting for words let alone think about. Because what he said was true and she rationally knew part of her suffered from depression. Insomnia was a definite 'yes'. She couldn't sleep properly, she wanted to cry over the most inane things. Hot mess, was all that came to her mind.

"It's ok, just keep an eye on your sleeping patterns and if you need help or someone to talk to. Then reach out." Rios told her.

"I will." Naz said, she wasn't far from her limit when it came to lack of sleep. She knew she could maybe last another week of tossing and turning before she lost her mind completely.

"Onto another matter, I would like you to go to the base hospital for a health check up. We don't know enough about Nostos or how it effects long term users. I just don't have enough equipment on the ship to get the answers I'd like to have." He told her, Naz frowned as she didn't like the sound of being studied. "What we can learn from you, can help me or your future health provider be able to devise a proper treatment plan that could help you and future Nostos users. The cure will spread for the red rust which means Nostos will eventually be eradicated." he told her.

"I'll think on it." Naz told him as she hadn't really given it any thought. But at the moment, she hated the idea of being screened and studied. She understood he only cared for her well being, but right now she had simple needs; sleep, food and people to distract her.

"Of course, it's all voluntary. But it would be good to know exactly what is going on." he told her.

"I know, it's just a little too much at the moment." she told him.

"Ok, well let's focus on what we can fix." he said moving on to what Naz hoped was a safer topic.

* * *

"You took off your ring." Meylan remarked less than five minutes later when Mike stood beside him on the bridge. They both looked out at the ocean, it was a beautiful day and smooth sailing. If they were lucky and the currents worked in their favour they might cut time off their trip.

"It was time." Mike said truthfully, He wasn't not surprised Meylan had noticed.

"You know there's been scuttlebutt concerning you and a certain guest on board." Meylan said changing the topic and lightening the mood.

"I don't care for scuttlebutt." Mike told him.

"Just letting you know it's out there. Maybe to tone it down a little. Let her fix her own buttons for a while." Meylan advised, not that he'd say Mike and Naz were being inappropriate but sometimes rumours could be damaging. He'd heard talk that Mike was seen being incredible familiar with Naz which basically talk of the two having a raging romance.

Mike fought not to laugh as he kept a straight face. But it was tough when Meylan was giving him the 'No Fraternisation' talk.

"I can't imagine what is so rowdy about sewing a button back onto a shirt." Mike told him, he figured that it wouldn't take much for rumours to start but apparently the crew had some bets on him and Naz. Normally he would frown upon such behaviour it but he decided it worked in his favour and he was enjoying the crew's less than subtle attempts to push him and Naz together.

"It's not just the buttons but the late night scrabble games. The fact you're kinda getting your flirt on with her at dinner." Meylan added with an amused smile.

"Are you jealous she's sitting on my left hand side instead of you? It's only at dinner, you still get the left side of the bridge. For now." Mike drawled mockingly with a grin. Meylan snorted a laugh.

"I'm more embarrassed than jealous. You are way too old school for women of today." Meylan told him with a smile.

"My mother raised me to be a Gentleman. She told me a lot of rules and the ones that stick in my mind are; a Gentleman proves chivalry is not dead, pays for meal, makes the first move and most importantly he may ruin his lover's lipstick but he should never ruin her mascara. The only exception to the mascara rule is tears of joy." Mike told him.

"Awwh, that's adorable." Meylan said, but he was clearly impressed and amused.

"I was married for over 18 years. So, it proves my Mom's advice works." Mike told him smugly.

* * *

"I'm regretting that I ever agreed to exercise with you and my lunch." Naz groaned, she was about 20 minutes into what Azima claimed was 'short' pilates class and she was ready to quit. At least until tomorrow. For all her complaining, she was motivated as she used to be a strong athletic woman and now she was struggling from her own body weight. Something that was ludicrous given she felt she was basically skin and bones.

"That was two hours ago. You're safe." Azima assured her as she adjusted Naz's form and stretched out her leg.

"My hamstrings aren't. I'm not as flexible as you think I am." Naz informed her in a pained manner as Azima stretched her hamstring just a little too far for her liking.

"Give me two more weeks and you will be." Azima promised her, Naz shot her a look of disbelief. "The more you regiment your exercise and sunshine intake, the more it will help your body settle into a routine to sleep." She added.

"Who is going to pick me off the floor when you're done with me?" Naz asked wryly. Azima flashed her a daring smile.

"I'm sure we can find at least one volunteer." Azima said as she released Naz's leg much to Naz's relief.

"Anyway, we're helping you." Sasha said with a mocking smile as she laying on the mat doing leg lifts with her. But where Naz could barely get her leg off the floor, Sasha was kicking high with the flexibility and grace of a Ballerina.

"How will you make love to your man if you got no muscles to move and enjoy yourself?" Azima asked Naz.

"Yes, because that's what I'm really concerned about. It's not that I need to sleep more than two hours at a time." Naz said with a pitiful groan. She'd long given up on pretending she and Mike were just friends. The rumours were flying and even if she was ignoring; she had to admit she liked Mike a lot more than a friend should.

"You know sex is great for insomnia and muscle aches." Sasha told her teasingly. Naz glowered at her even though she was happy to see Sasha was out of her funk.

"Orgasms are good for insomnia as it releases all the right chemicals in your brain to go to sleep." Azima said in agreement, Sasha gave her a more pointed look. "But man-made orgasms are better than self-care as it burns more energy and you use more muscle groups." Azima added casually.

"Thanks for the illuminating tips but I'll just keep trying Pilates sans any orgasms first." Naz told them.

"Sex would be more fun." Sasha told her.

"No one is stopping you. If you want to knock one out with someone on the ship, just leave a sock on the door." Naz remarked crudely, a grin spread across her lips as Sasha shook her head.

"I'll survive. I'm on an abstinence kick. No men, no rebounding. Anyway no one on this ship is my type." Sasha told her with a sigh as she rested her legs.

"So, you're all about long showers, bodice rippers and your right hand?" Naz asked in amusement, Sasha gave a wry smile as she didn't mind being mocked about it.

"Whatever works until I feel like I'm making better choices instead of just falling into relationships and trying to make them work." Sasha said with a grin. "So, what had Rios have to say about your results?" she asked.

"Nothing bad." Naz said. "Vitamin D deficiency, otherwise all good." she informed them as her tortured muscles spasmed and twitched. She left out the special plasma part as she didn't feel they needed to know. Frankly, she didn't want to motivate Azima anymore than the woman already was in making Naz 'fit' for sexual activity.

"That's good." Azima said standing over her.

"Yeah," Naz looked to Sasha, "I don't think you have bad taste in men. I think you have bad timing when it comes to romance." She told her.

"Really? You don't even like Tom." Sasha said surprised at Naz's comment.

"I have my reasons but I'm also aware that I'm in the minority. Everybody else on the ship loves and adores Tom. I hear he can walk on water and turn that water into wine." Naz drawled mockingly and Sasha smiled as she knew how Naz felt. When she first came aboard in Asia, it was clear he was loved intensely as the crew followed him without question. That love spread the world as Azima was a huge Tom Chandler fan.

"He is an amazing man." Azima said, just proving Naz's point.

"See, you just suffer from shitty timing. Fletcher was a good egg and I know it's complicated but you have to admit it was shitty timing to try for a relationship while on mission." Naz said looking thoughtful, Sasha nodded in agreement as she couldn't argue with the assessment. But she did find her emotions were more evened out than they had been a week ago.

"Either way, it doesn't change anything." Sasha told her.

"No, it doesn't and honestly I'd look into cult deprograming if your emotions for him were like a light switch." Naz said honestly which Sasha wasn't sure if she should laugh or object to.

"It's not a cult." Azima told Naz.

"It's a lot of love for man who isn't that great." Naz told her.

"We are all flawed, maybe you expect too much from him." Azima told Naz.

"If my expectations are considered too high. Then that is terrifying." Naz told her with a laugh which made Sasha and Azima frown as they still didn't know what had happened nor that the only expectation Naz had of Tom was for him to say 'I'm sorry' and genuinely mean it. But she was reaching the point where it didn't matter anymore.

* * *

"Your ring is missing." Naz said to Mike later that evening as she sipped her Moroccan mint tea. Sasha wanted the tea to be used. So, Naz was doing her duty as a friend to get rid of it without wasting it.

"Nothing slips by you." Mike said with a mocking smile as they were sharing a late beverage in the wardroom together before calling it for the night. They decided to give Scrabble a break for Naz's ego. Something that left her feeling relieved as her brain was just not working.

"Don't think I'm not above kicking you under the table." Naz informed him with a smart ass manner. Mike chuckled as he liked her spunk and the fact she left his shins alone.

"It was time." Mike said, the reason seemed to hold truer than he ever expected. He definitely hated having an empty ring finger on his left hand, he knew he didn't like the idea of being single which made his proposition with Naz work out great.

"It feels weird not to have a ring on, right?" she asked him.

"I hate it. It feels uncomfortable." Mike admitted, something they both shared was a common history of wearing wedding rings for a long time. She understood what he felt to a certain extent because unlike him; she didn't have a choice. She had to surrender rings and jewellery.

"I know, I have missed it for years. I loved being a relationship, belonging to someone and vice versa." Naz told him with a thoughtful expression.

"I think we're already there, don't you?" he asked, he felt like he belonged to her. Not the same way he did to Christine but he felt that he and Naz shared something. That part of him in their agreement meant she owned him and vice versa.

"Yeah, I do. It's feels good to know I have somewhere to belong and that I'm not by myself anymore. It sounds so archaic but I'm not good on my own." She said with a soft smile.

"I think you did well you survived a famine." Mike said not wanting her to discount her own efforts. He couldn't imagine being completely alone. He had the luxury of burying himself in his work and now he had Naz. So, it meant he never would know what it was like to be truly alone. Something he was grateful for as he knew he wouldn't be graceful about it.

"I lived with ghosts. It's not the same." Naz said, a companionable silence lapsed between them as they mulled over their own demons and how they survived thus far after everything they had lost.

"I think we all do." Mike told her.

"Deep." Naz remarked drily, the two laughed. "Anyway, when are we going to go to more private settings to talk about our future plans?" she asked.

"At the moment, I'm buried in work. Give me, a few more days to clear out my paperwork?" Mike asked her, she gave a nod as she saw no issue with waiting. She also felt the less they prepared the better given if it fell through then he would be free and clear. Because as much as she liked the idea of being attached to him, to someone... she didn't want to ruin his life.

"No problem with me." Naz assured him.

* * *

Somewhere around midnight, Sasha tossed over in her bed and gave a huff as she looked at the bottom of the top bunk. She couldn't sleep and she couldn't figure out why as her inner dialogue was unusually quiet.

"Naz, you awake up there?" Sasha asked in a low voice. She wasn't motivated to hit the gym or get out of bed. But if Naz was awake then maybe it would relax her to just talk.

"Yep." Naz replied, "Exercise only made me sore, not fall asleep exhausted." she groaned, Sasha smiled as Naz was a good sport even if it hurt her physically.

"I can't sleep either." Sasha told her.

"I know why I'm awake. What's your problem?" Naz asked in a light teasing manner.

"You and Tom. What's going on there?" Sasha asked, it was something that was bothering her. But Sasha knew it wasn't what kept her up. Naz gave a reluctant sigh.

"He accused me of being a spy. He tried to interrogate the morning after Fletcher jumped ship. It didn't go well. He put me into cardiac arrest. I'm trying to get over it as I'm pretty sure he's never going to apologise." Naz told her.

"Yeah, you'll be waiting for hell to freeze over for that. Knowing him, he's not given it another thought." Sasha said as she tried not to get angry over it. It didn't involve her and she really didn't want to get wrapped up in Tom's failure to be a decent human being.

"Hey, don't get your knickers in a twist. He just does stupid shit like all men do." Naz told Sasha in a casual manner.

"He nearly killed you over nothing." Sasha told her.

"Whatever, I've had people try to kill me for pettier reasons." Naz told her in a matter of fact manner.

"Still." Sasha argued, she didn't have much of an argument but she felt like someone had to stand up for Naz given she wasn't doing it for herself. She felt like Naz could have destroyed Tom's credibility by telling that truth aloud. But Naz hadn't, she kept quiet about the details and even now... Sasha could tell that Naz wasn't about to be vindictive about it.

"Hey, Tom is messed up, which is why I'm hoping you two don't hook up as it's not your job to fix him or apologise for him. I'll get over it, I have to for Mike's sake." Naz said with a sigh. Sasha couldn't argue with that logic in regards to her and Tom and she could hear that Naz didn't want to dwell on it. Respecting that, she changed the topic away from Tom.

"Speaking of Mike, I have a confession to make." Sasha told her.

"Should I be worried?" Naz asked with a light laugh.

"No, I know about you and Mike are planning to get married so you can get citizenship in the US." Sasha told her, she wanted to take the stress out of their friendship before Naz felt she had to keep secrets from her. Given everything Naz had done for her, she wanted to be in Naz's corner.

"What? That's crazy." Naz said with enough incredulity that Sasha almost believed Naz's reaction to be genuine.

"Naz, listen, I know Mike's plan. I figured it out because I told Mike about your predicament ages ago when you first came on board. Suddenly, he started hanging out with you. Look, no one suspects anything but I wanted you to know that I got your back no matter what. Though I do genuinely think you two should make a go for a real relationship." Sasha told her.

"I don't know, it feels pretty real to me." Naz admitted truthfully, " But I have to confess that I have no clue what I'm doing or if I'm doing it right." she confessed, Sasha smiled as she liked the sound of what Naz was saying.

"I think you're doing just fine and Mike doesn't seem to mind. He looks happier when you're around and it hasn't been that long. Well, he looked happy until you told him that you're happy to go halves in everything over dinner." Sasha said with a chuckle remembering dinner discussion.

"It's not his fault, Elias was very-"

"Cheap," Sasha teased, as Naz argued that it was only fair even in dating for the couple to split expenses so if it didn't work out. No one was worse off financially. It had led to a very interesting conversation and spectator sport of watching Naz and Mike as the two were definitely hitting off. Sasha knew it wasn't an act on either side as there was no artifice or forced tones or body language.

"An egalitarian at heart. I didn't mind it and I'm used to cutting everything down the middle." Naz corrected, Sasha could hear the smile in her voice.

"Oh boy, you're in for a culture shock with Mike." Sasha told her in a rich tone.

"I know how the world works. I think." Naz sounded a little unsure. "And Azima has Mike pegged, he is a traditionalist. I have to admit it's a little bit of a turn on to butt heads about that stuff and Mike is so huge." Naz said, Sasha laughed.

"Too much information." Sasha informed her.

"Not like that! Though I hadn't even considered that." Naz said thoughtfully, "I just mean he's very alpha male, strong and solid. He wants to take care of me, it's not like he thinks I'm incapable or anything. He just...I don't know." Naz said awkwardly.

"Wants you to feel loved and cared for." Sasha said as it gave her warm and fuzzy feelings. Maybe Mike and Naz were an odd fit but they seemed to work.

"He's not my type at all. Don't get me wrong, I've always seen the appeal but it never did it for me. Elias was very lean and lanky. He was super independent to a fault sometimes, You know?" Naz said.

"Now you're into tall, solid and strong with a side of dependency?" Sasha asked a grin on her lips, she really missed gossiping about men and relationships especially when things were just beginning to get off the ground. She didn't see Mike as clingy, but she knew he liked to be depended on and be present in his loved ones' lives.

"Maybe." Naz started before she sighed. "Yes. But I'm not sure if it's the fact that the Nostos has worn off and I've realised it's been over two years since I've sex or if it's a genuine attraction." she told her.

"I'd say it's a mix of the two." Sasha told her, then she frowned as she realised what Naz was telling her. "Wait, you haven't had sex with anyone since your husband?" she asked.

"That's right, grief and Nostos kills the libido and impedes all lady boners." Naz told her in a matter of fact tone.

"Seriously?" Sasha asked with a laugh, she wasn't sure if she was being incredulous about the information on Nostos or the term 'Lady Boner'. But she was shocked even if she was amused.

"Yep, haven't you noticed the serious lack of babies wherever Nostos is?" Naz asked her incredulously.

"I saw kids." Sasha said, she frowned as she tried to remember if she did see any babies but was coming up empty. It was quite a shocking revelation.

"All over the age of three?" Naz asked.

"Yes, wow Vellek's Nostos cure not a cure after all." Sasha said shocked as she was glad they had nixed that plan. She had no idea if she'd ever have kids but she liked the idea of having the option.

"Yeah, guess he didn't factor in that Nostos might wipe out a lot more than just aggression." Naz said sarcastically before she gave a tired sigh, "I remember with Nostos, you get caught up in the tender moments, laying in bed and relaxing not the racy; rip each other's clothes off and get all hot and sweaty..."

"Don't get weird on me up there." Sasha told her.

"I can't help that I have sexual urges that are waking up. You and Azima talking about it, so of course I'm going to think about sex. But you can relax, I'm too sore and exhausted to do anything about it." Naz told her, Sasha burst into laughter. "It's not funny," Naz told her.

"You'll survive and Azima is right, once your muscles grow back... then you'll be able to get freaky and enjoy yourself." Sasha said with a chuckle.

"One can only hope that is quick process with all those protein shakes. As Azima is killing me in a slow and painful manner." Naz grouched.

"Maybe," Sasha said, deciding it was best to let Naz keep her delusion for now. "But I am serious about you and Mike. You should talk to him about it." she added.

"I don't think he's really ready for that conversation at the moment." Naz told her.

"Or you could just not pretend and make it real on your end. It's going to take at least two or more years to sort out your citizenship. Maybe, Mike will be right there with you." Sasha suggested, it might sound like wishful thinking but Sasha wanted them to make it work.

"That sounds like a bad plan." Naz told her.

"Or a good one given I have a good feeling about you two kids. I think if you feel there's potential with Mike, then explore it." Sasha told her. Naz snorted a laugh and Sasha was sure Naz was shaking her head at her.

"What about you? Are you going to stick to this abstinence thing forever or just like 6 months?" Naz asked turning the attention on her mess of a love life.

"I don't know. I just need time to clear out my baggage." Sasha replied truthfully.

"You know maybe you should just have some fun." Naz said, it wasn't the first time she had said as much to Sasha.

"I was just having 'fun' with James." Sasha informed her.

"While on a super top secret mission to save humanity from starving to death? Cause that doesn't sound like fun to me." Naz drawled acerbically.

"When you put it like that..." Sasha drawled, she was right. It didn't sound like fun, though it had it's moments.

"Exactly, you need to let your hair down and enjoy life. Do frivolous stuff like get your hair done, spring clean your apartment, go hiking for the views. You know, that stuff we talked about." Naz told her.

"Basically be normal?" Sasha asked.

"Yeah, exactly. Sure, have your temporary abstinence and look after you for a while. There's nothing wrong with self-care." Naz said in a sage manner. Sasha fought not to point out the hypocrisy of that given Naz had been married for over a decade and wouldn't have been single if her husband hadn't died.

"Are you going for normal?" Sasha asked her.

"I'm going to try, I don't know how I'll handle it. But I think the first step is to look normal which means I need a haircut. I'm sure I have a lot of split ends. Do you think they have hot yoga in Norfolk?" Naz asked her.

"I assume so, they have to have yoga somewhere even if it's not in a heated room." Sasha said, yoga sounded like torture to her but it was time she shake up her routine.

"Good, it maybe the answer to my sore body when we get back. You'll go with me right?" Naz asked her.

"Sure, why don't we do morning yoga and haircuts in the same day?" Sasha asked smiling to herself as she was making plans before they even made port.

"Oh, that works for me." Naz replied happily.

"I'm sure Azima will love to join us." Sasha added.

"We're becoming the three musketeers. Please protect me from her and her ideas of womanly maintenance. I'm sure they all involve hot wax and very sensitive areas. I like my map of Russia." Naz informed her, Sasha burst out laughing.

"I'll do my best but make no promises." Sasha replied as she tried to reign in her laughter.


	29. Chapter 29

"I have an announcement. I'm going to get a full-time job." Ashley told Tom and Sammy over dinner a week later.

"No, you're going to go to school next week. If you want a job, then it can only be for 8 hours a week and you have to keep B average marks in all your classes." Tom told her, he wondered when his world would stop feeling like it was spinning out of his control.

His face was plastered over media for a multitude of reasons. Three quarters of it was positive and basically calling him the Hero returning home.

The last quarter were conspiracy nuts who were pulling together rather tenuous evidence and completely outrageous conclusions about Tom and his actions. They were fully convinced that Tom was a criminal of the highest degree who should be behind bars than being showered with accolades.

Tom worried about them the most as they were usually the ones who could pull a strange crowd with the potential of dangerous acts. He still remembered how Valerie Raymond had done that to the US Government and the Nathan James. How her conspiracy theories had turned America against them just when they needed the public the most.

He wondered if SECNAV and Admiral Wilder believed the nutters as they were keeping him tucked away at the Naval College. A college where he answered to a Commander and a civilian. It was insulting to his ego, but he swallowed it as he always felt he should be punished. Here, he was being punished in the most unlikely manner.

Now, his eldest was trying to stir up trouble with him. She and Sammy had been so compliant since their return. He thought maybe he'd get lucky but apparently not.

"What? School is a waste of time. You said as much over a year ago when you said we'd learn from living and learning from the world around us." Ashley told him. Tom frowned as Ashley had truly paraphrased him.

"We were travelling. It's different." Tom told her.

"We only went to Greece." Ashley told him.

"And you learnt a lot. Now, it's time to go back to school and get a diploma as formal education is important." Tom told her firmly. He knew it was vain but he wasn't ready for to have one of kids be a school drop-out.

"Work experience is better." Ashley argued.

"You want to learn a trade like mechanics, plumbing, and or electrical then I'm all for it. But you're going to go to school. You're getting going to get a high school diploma, it's non-negotiable." Tom told her firmly.

"I'm over two years behind, Dad. There's no way I'd catch up, I'd be at least a grade behind anyone I know because you pulled us out of school." Ashley said frustrated.

"You and every other kid have that problem. You'll just work through it and catch up. You're smart." Tom said, Ashley gave an exasperated growl like he truly didn't understand what a social pariah she was. He looked to Sammy, "You have a problem with going to school?" he asked his son.

"No, but can I learn martial arts after school if they got it? Wolf says it's important to have discipline in my study and skills." Sammy said in a sage manner.

"Ok." Tom said, glad Sammy was being compliant for the moment instead of taking sides. So he turned back to Ashley, "Look Ashley, I have a full time job which comes benefits of food rations and pay. I can support us, so I need you to support me by rounding out your education. It reassures me that when you go into the world you're set up to break minimum wage level." he told her.

"I don't want to go to school." Ashley told him.

"I want you just try it for a semester. I can get you tutors if you're struggling but you have to try." Tom told her.

"If I fail?" Ashley asked him.

"Then you still have to go to school. You can get the job when you're B average across the board." Tom told her, Ashley glowered at him but Tom wasn't perturbed as he knew she used to have an A average so he genuinely couldn't see her struggling to get the marks. She just didn't want to because her own vanity. It wasn't a good enough excuse.

* * *

"Ok, we have to figure it out." Azima told the table in the crew lounge as they were playing cards.

"Figure out what?" Wolf asked, as he, Burk, Kara and Sasha flanked her at the table. He looked down at his cards with a frown as he didn't like his hand.

"Why Naz doesn't like Captain Tom." Azima said, Sasha looked at her own cards and folded. She was grateful she knew the reason why Tom and Naz didn't get along but she wasn't about to share. But she knew it was killing Azima to not know what was going on.

It seemed trivial to even discuss it as Naz seemed like she was over it and Sasha was over it too. Tom would do what he wanted, and from what Andrea told her; Tom wasn't happy being back home. But Sasha hadn't asked for details as she had her own career troubles to worry about.

"Do we really have to?" Burk asked Azima. She shot him a look that said 'yes'. "It's just that it doesn't affect our lives and it's not a mystery. He treated her like she was a traitor from day one." Burk said making a face that said 'didn't we all get that memo?'.

"He did not. Well, perhaps he was suspicious but we all were." Azima said with a frown. Those at the table wore cagey expressions as they weren't ready to agree or disagree.

"Maybe a little, but I kept an open mind." Wolf conceded with a shrug, "Anyway, I saw Chandler have a tiff with Naz right here in the mess; the first few days we were back. He tried interrogating her and she told him to back off. She said he was burnt out." Wolf told Azima, he made an expression that said he wasn't interested in digging into it further as it was enough for him to know.

"Not far from the truth." Burk grumbled until his breath.

"Seriously? That's a superior officer you're disrespecting." Kara told Burk. Sasha felt like a line in the sand was being drawn with those who were with Tom on one side and those who just didn't care or held a tiny grudge sat on the other.

"He may have come good at the end of the mission but he's still a wreck and he makes everything personal. When you make it personal you fuck it up. I'm tired of the body count that comes from it because he can't separate emotions from the job." Burk told her.

"Like you, seeing the enemy everywhere?" Wolf asked Burk who ducked his head as he couldn't argue that one.

"Dude, I'm working on it. When Green pulled me up on it and I made damn sure to button it down before the next mission and the others that came after that. But it proves my point that I made it personal and it got messy; real fast. I was lucky my body count was small. Captain Chandler made it personal and look how bent out of shape he got over Dr Scott, Neils, President Peng, Takehaya, Alison Shaw, the Velleks... do I gotta keep naming names?" Burk asked, many at the table understood the point Burk was making and how tired the argument was. The argument of whether leadership was doing what was in the best interest of the whole or for their own individual needs like revenge.

"It's hard being at the top." Wolf said diplomatically as Azima looked ready to have a fit.

"Every time we go on missions we make the tough decisions. We calculate the risks and decide whether it is worthwhile or not. But there is always a cost no matter what link you are in the chain of command." Sasha said in a sage manner.

"I know." Burk said, but he still struggled with the balance of understanding what it meant to be a leader and carrying the burden of hard decisions.

"How is your brother?" Sasha asked Burk.

"Not good, they had to amputate the leg and… it's a mess. He's going to be in the hospital for a while. Last we spoke, he didn't sound so good. I don't blame him for being miserable." Burk said, he wore an expression of guilt that many of them could empathise with. It was a situation that was no-win. No matter what actions could've been taken there would've guilt and loss of life.

"We'll rally round him." Wolf assured him, he looked to Kara. "And Green, cause we're family." He told them, Kara gave a small closed lip smile as she deeply appreciated the sentiments. She was one of the few people who still had family alive from the pandemic, but also built another. But even so, it was good to such a strong support system around her as she felt she was going to need it for the coming months.

"Danny came out of his second surgery today. He's doing well, at least that's what Adam told me. But the prognosis isn't great. He suffered some serious nerve and tissue damage." Kara said with a sigh as it stung but she knew doctors liked to be prudent and not promise too much. But she wanted clear cut answers and instructions not vague insinuations.

"It was a pretty bad hit." Burk said, he knew because he'd been there to see it happen along with the rest of the team who'd supported Danny until he got back to ship.

"I'm grateful that he's alive and the rest will work out; one way or the other." Kara said with a sigh as it was too exhausting to think about what the coming months would be like. She knew it would sound bad, but she was grateful for the two-week reprieve. It gave her time to get herself mentally and emotionally squared away and to enjoy one of her favourite jobs being TAO.

"Speaking of, are we really trusting Naz with our CO's heart? The love sparkles are maturing and breeding." Wolf said, the table erupted with laughter as the mood lightened.

"Bro, stop with the Love sparkles nonsense." Burk told him, Wolf grinned as he clearly baited them all and it worked in getting a reaction and cheering everyone up.

"Love sparkles breed now?" Sasha asked in amusement.

"Like Rabbits." Wolf deadpanned. Those at the table cringed and laughed. "Where is Naz?" he asked Sasha out of curiosity, she gave a shrug.

"Probably playing scrabble with Slattery." Sasha said, smiles spread on the faces of those at the table as they all read too much into that situation.

* * *

A knock sounded at Mike's stateroom door, late in the evening. "Come in," he called out as he continued looking over ship status reports. Andrea was going to put his ass in a sling given it seemed to Meylan's assessment that the Nathan James was going to need a serious overhaul. He paused in his reading and looked to the door wondering whoever it was on the other side hadn't come in. In fact, the door latch was scraping like it was jammed.

He frowned as he closed the file and rose from his chair. He moved to door and opened it with zero effort. Then proceeded to catch Naz with one arm as she stumbled through.

"Thank you, that door is heavy." Naz said to him as she recovered from her near face plant into the floor. Mike closed the door, not caring who saw her coming in as he was happy for the distraction and company.

"We aren't meeting for another half hour." Mike looked at the time, "Sorry, time got away from me." He said as it was right on the dot for when they planned to meet her in the wardroom.

"It's ok, you know I figured it would be easier to come to you. Did I interrupt your work?" she asked as she noticed the paperwork but her eyes were more focused on the family pictures he had on his desk. "Cause I can wait or we can postpone." Naz added.

"No, I was just packing it up before you arrived." he lied but she didn't need to know that and she was a welcome distraction.

"So, what are we going do for ten minutes?" Naz teased, a sly grin spread across her lips as they both knew she could neither sneak in or out without someone knowing. There were security cameras. So, it was not going to go unnoticed or timed.

"Please, my reputation is at stake. At least give it an hour." he scoffed jokingly, he gestured to the couch. Naz laughed.

"As long as we don't play Scrabble, I'll give you two hours." she said, as she gave a sigh of relief and lowered herself gingerly on his couch.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Azima idea of gentle exercise isn't gentle." She told him with a wry smile.

"So, about our plans." Mike started, he sat down next to her on the couch as he didn't want to feel so formal about it all. "You can put your feet on the table." he added, Naz looked a little wary but took him at his word.

"Our plans?" she prompted.

"I have the checklist." he told her, Naz couldn't help but smile as he had a manila folder. He handed it to her, she opened to find hand written notes and to-do list. About a quarter of it was already checked off thanks to their diligence in meeting up and sharing information with one another.

"This is five pages long." Naz said as she flicked through them. A lot of the items were innocuous. So, if the list fell into anyone else's hands. It would look like Mike was detail orientated and liked to be very organised. But she couldn't help but feel a little stressed over the level to detail.

"I figured that I write down nearly everything that needs to be done when we get back." he assured her.

"I can see that. It's all pretty straightforward. Are we renovating your house?." She asked as she read over the first page, as she did read through she calmed down as they were simple tasks.

"Parts of it. If you're amendable, I was thinking a quick courthouse wedding, followed by a meal with close friends. Sasha, Andrea, Darius, Tom, Meylan and his partner; Mira and Jeter." Mike said, they hadn't really had the time to hash out the details as his work got in the way by the time they met up they usually digressed onto other topics.

"Can we add Azima? I'm pretty close with her. She'd understand if I asked her to come stag." Naz said.

"Sure." Mike said.

"Sasha will be my matron of honour." She told him.

"Andrea is my best man." He replied, Naz looked up from the list with a curious expression.

"Not Tom or Joseph?" She asked, Mike shook his head.

"Andrea is pulling everything together for us. To be honest, I want someone by my side who supports me 100%. Tom's a little too wrapped up in himself and I don't want to impose on him." Mike said with a shrug as he didn't begrudge Tom for not having the mental space for his friends. He wanted the wedding no matter how small it was to be a joyous and easy going one.

"Ok, dress code?" Naz asked.

"What would you like?" Mike asked her, she frowned not sure what to say.

"Whatever is most comfortable for us both." She offered.

"I can do dress blues or I have a suit. To be honest, I'd prefer the suit as it doesn't get much wear and I don't need to ask permission to wear it." Mike said honestly, Naz gave a nod in agreement.

"Suit is fine with me. We can cut the flower budget in half. I agree on there being a photographer. It wouldn't hurt for us to take some candid photos together and separately for the house and evidence for immigration." Naz said in a business-like manner but she was sweating and nervous. Nervous because part of her was excited to be married again and because a lot was riding on it. "We probably have to start getting a little deeper into the nitty gritties of our personal lives for when they test the validity of our relationship." Naz added.

"I do have one question." he said.

"What?"

"Photo ID for the marriage licence." Mike said.

"All I have are the work credentials." Naz said, they both lapsed into silence as they realised the problem. One that couldn't be circumnavigated quickly. "They won't pass muster. Australia won't reissue my passport and I doubt the UK government held onto my last one. Damn." Naz said with a sigh.

"It's ok, we will have to push back wedding and focus on you getting your green card as quickly as possible. You'll be photographed and given an ID to be on the base. Both of those will work." Mike said.

"Ok, you know-"

"Do not try and back out. This is just a small hiccup." Mike told her.

"Ok, but you'll have to write on your list." She informed him with a wry smile.

"I'll put it on there later. You need to start learning all about America for the hoops they make you jump. This is where you start." He told her as he held out a small thick book. It looked well-loved and read.

"The Constitution of the United States of America." Naz said reading the cover as she took the book into her hands. "Pocket book size, that's cute." She said with a smile.

"Enjoy." Mike told her in amusement.

"Wow, you shouldn't have." Naz drawled mockingly.

"Don't lose it. It's mine." Mike told her, before he chuckled. He watched her flick through the pages with an amused expression. She stopped at one of his favourite parts.

"You highlight and underline as well as write in the margins. You barbarian." Naz told him, as it was true. He ruined books, the binding of the book she was holding was split in several places. Pages were dogeared.

"Promise to cherish it." Mike quipped.

"Oh, I will." Naz said pressing the book her chest as if it were a treasured book. Mike snorted a laugh before he continued on.

"Ok, now once we have your IDs in order and a marriage licence. We can get married, it'll help you secure your chances for citizenship." Mike said, he didn't really have a clue what the process was. He was just assuming by marrying him; she could bypass the red tape.

"So, plan is still on with a few adjustments." Naz said as she went back to the list of to-dos. "Honeymoon?" she asked him.

"Staycation at the house." He told her with a shrug. He hadn't given it any thought because they weren't a real couple and travelling wasn't as luxurious as once had been given the famine.

"Perfect. To be honest, I really need solid ground under my feet and to just relax in one spot. But question; how real are we making this fake relationship?" Naz asked as she rested her feet on the table with a sigh.

"As real as you're comfortable with. If immigration visits, it has to look legit. I hear they like to do random spot checks." he said without hesitation, he didn't want to admit it but he needed her by his side when he went home. He could do it alone but he didn't want to, not when he had an option. Naz unlike his friends didn't have a history with him or his family. There was comfort in that.

"Ok, so we share a bed every night, get used to one another's space." She said, Mike nodded. It was awkward hearing it all out loud. "Learn all our quirks and have our history all in line." She added.

"I think we're doing pretty good with that." Mike told her, he and Naz had been slowly opening up to one another over scrabble games and a late-night beverage of the non-alcoholic kind before bed.

"Well, it probably helps we're people of simple tastes." Naz said with a smile.

"You have no taste given you eat and drink anything offered to you." Mike told her.

"Oh, that's nice. You know you insulted yourself." She told him with a smile.

"Never said I was in good taste." He told her, Naz laughed and shook her head at him. She placed the folder and pocket book onto the table.

"Well, then we are a pair. But there is something I wanted to know." Naz said growing serious.

"What?" Mike asked.

"What happened with your family? If you're ok with me knowing." Naz said, Mike frowned as he had hoped to avoid this altogether. But she deserved to know as people would talk about it at some point.

"We were supposed to be on R&R for six months after which I would've transferred to Miami. I put in for desk duty as Christine and I were in a rough situation. She needed me home. But we were tapped for a mission; one month into our break. So, I left and the world went to hell. When we surfaced; it was too late for my son. We had a scientist and possibly a cure. Tom made a lot of tough calls and I backed him. I didn't agree with him but I trusted him." Mike said, Naz nodded as she listened. "It's funny because I could've at any point jumped ship and searched for them. But I didn't, I believed they were safe, that they'd survive long enough for me to get to them. I thought I could save them. But the reality is that I abandoned them when they needed me the most by staying here and working. Sure, we got a cure but it was too late for my family." Mike said with remorse, he wasn't sure if he got a second chance he would've stayed with the mission. But he'd never get the chance.

"I missed my window by two weeks and didn't find out for another 8 months after the fact." Mike said, he took a shaky inhale as he tried to keep a tight hold on his inner turmoil.

"I'm so sorry." Naz said with empathy, Mike appreciated it. He knew she could say a million things to make him feel better- to excuse himself but she instead let him just say what he felt. He knew in time, his view would change and he'd come to terms with what happened. He'd know the truth of it and forgive himself. But for the moment, he was looking for redemption.

"Just bad timing." Mike said, he winced as he hated how weak his next confession made him feel, "I haven't been home since the first time I went searching for them. I left behind the cure and a radio. Continued with the mission, found out they were gone for good. Never went back there." he told her, Naz didn't look surprised; just accepting as if she would've struggled like him if she were in his shoes. But Mike knew better, she lived in the house her husband died in. She had to clean up after her husband and deal with his remains.

"So, it's going to be a trip for you to be there." she said stating the obvious, there was something about her general demeanour that made him feel accepted. That his behaviour was alright and didn't mean anything besides the maybe the mere annoyance of dust bunnies.

"Yeah," he said with an empty laugh.

" for what it's worth, I'll be there for you." She told him as she rubbed a hand down his arm in a comforting manner.

"Thank you." He told her sincerely. "Maybe when you're ready. You'll tell me about Elias. Cause I have to say, I wonder what it would've been like if I had been with them." He said.

"I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy." Naz told him, she gave a sigh. "It was horrific, I did everything I could possibly do to keep him alive. It was useless, I tried and he still drowned in his own blood, delusional and fevered until the last very moment. He didn't know where he was, who I was and he was just in so much pain. I selfishly held onto him instead of ending his life when he still had some dignity. I stupidly hoped that maybe he could survive it. It's just like a bad cold, someone had to survive it and build an immunity. But I was ignorant, selfish and so very wrong. He suffered for it." Naz said as she rubbed her face with her good hand.

Mike mulled over her words wondering if that was better or worse to be there. He still wasn't sure but he could see that Naz blamed herself for her husband's death. He didn't know what to say as he couldn't disagree or agree with her actions. He knew the desperation she felt but he also knew there was a good argument for putting their loved one out of their misery when you knew they'd suffer a horrible death.

"There were no services to call. I had to handle it all on my own. You think watching your partner die is the worst but… it doesn't stop after their last breath." Naz took a sharp inhale. "It just carries on and on, I think there is more kindness in not being there. More kindness in letting people go when they still have their dignity and are in their right mind to tell you what they want. But it's just as equally as painful. So, I don't know. I don't know." She told him, it was clear she couldn't speak any further on the subject but Mike didn't need to know as it didn't take a moron to know what she did.

There was only on crematorium on the island at the church and her house for all that he remembered of it. Had been dusty but overall clean, it hadn't smelt like someone had died and rotted inside. So, of course she had taken care of it all. It was in a small way strange to see someone so pragmatic to be in so much pain. He didn't know how to reach her beyond just listening.

"Anyway, we're close to America." Naz said changing the topic. Mike rubbed at his face and pushed back his own emotions as he like Naz didn't want to dwell on their loved ones' deaths.

"At the moment we will most likely make port in the afternoon three days from now. After I hand over the ship to port master, we'll go to the house and sort out what we need from there. The next day, I'll be stuck in meetings but I'll leave you the car." he said changing the topic and laying out plans. Something he was more comfortable doing than talking about his feelings and grief.

"I don't have a driver's licence on me, let alone an American one." Naz reminded him with an amused smile.

"Right," he said, shaking his head as it had slipped his mind.

"I'll be fine with watching TV and snoozing on the couch. If I get bored, I can tackle the list." Naz assured him.

"We can play it by ear." Mike said as he rubbed the back of his neck. Naz sat up straighter and turned on the couch to face him before she took his one of his hands into her own.

"Sounds good." she said him, her good hand squeezed his while hand that was in a cast just remained still. He didn't know why but he was comforted by her words, they both knew each had their own agenda but he felt a kinship with her. He liked how comfortable he felt with her even though he barely knew her. It just boded well for their future as a fake couple.

"You say that but we got our work cut out for us. We have to make it look more like a home than a shrine to my family." Mike said, his own words stinging him as it was his fault for being stuck in the delusional his family was alive.

"We'll work it out day by day. We don't have to make major changes right away." Naz assured him.

"We will have to change the main bedroom, given we'll be sharing the same bed. I need it be an entirely different room from what it currently is." Mike told her, Naz gave a nod as she understood his meaning. He knew he was no longer married but he needed the house to be different so he didn't feel like he was living a shadow of his former life.

"We can do that. Splash some paint on the walls, some new curtains and bedding. We'll be good to go." She assured him as she squeezed his hand in a comforting manner. It made realise how much he had miss the simple intimacies of a relationship. Their kiss on the flight deck still played in his mind.

"It's going to be our home. I want it to feel like one that's ours." he reminded her, he rubbed a hand down his face as he was still coming to terms with their unorthodox arrangement.

"I know and it will but I also appreciate that this isn't easy for you. I'd struggle with it if it were my home." She told him. He didn't want to admit it but it seemed like their fake relationship was becoming more and more real by the second. He was afraid if he brought it up, maybe it would make Naz balk or that maybe he was reading too much into it. "What?" she asked as Mike wore a cryptic expression.

"I was thinking about that kiss the other week. There was something familiar about it." he said changing the topic to something that had been niggling at his brain.

"You kissed me first when we first met. You were high on Nostos and thought that I was your wife. It was a very casual kiss, you told me you had to go back inside and get the keys. So, don't worry about it." she said as she released his hands, Mike immediately missed the contact.

"Ok." he said dumbly, he wasn't sure what the appropriate response was as apologising felt a little on the nose.

"Rest easy, you could never have sex under the influence as Nostos kills the libido. All memories you ever have are of the small things like laying in bed together laughing and teasing, kissing, their smile, the feel of their skin.." she stopped and blushed as she ran a hand through her hair and relaxed against the back of the couch. "Sorry." she mumbled apologetically, it was clear to see her mind went somewhere deliciously fun.

"No, don't be. I know what you're saying." he said, he found it entertaining and comforting. "But I'm also surprised and glad that we stopped Vellek as I don't like the idea of being chemically castrated zombie." he mused.

"Well, you're safe now. Even your one dose of Nostos shouldn't impede your ah-capabilities." She said with an awkward but amused smile.

"My capabilities." Mike stated as he sat back in his chair and chuckled.

"I'm trying to be delicate here. I know some men have problems with the idea of losing their vigour." Naz deadpanned.

"Nothing wrong with my vigour or capabilities." Mike assured her with confidence and then he wondered why he even felt like he should be telling her as much.

"Well, speaking of it. What happens if you meet someone who you really want to be vigorous with and we're still married?" she asked him, a reasonable scenario to be worried about and he appreciated the consideration.

"Trust me, it's not going to happen. I'd stay loyal, I haven't cheated before and I'm not going to start now." he told her.

"I just don't want to hold you back. And add that to the million and one reasons why we probably shouldn't do this." Naz said, he gave an inward sigh as she was back to making sure he wanted to do this. He appreciated her concern but what she didn't know was that he wanted this. He wanted to be in a partnership again, to have the wedding ring on his finger and someone to come home to.

"I made a promise and I get benefits from it as much as you." He told her.

"Are you sure?" She asked him.

"Yeah, I am. So, stop asking me." he told her, hoping the message was received.

"What if I wanted to amend the promise and plan?" She asked him, Mike frowned.

"To what?" He asked, he wondered if maybe she'd met someone on the ship who'd taken her fancy. He wasn't exactly thrilled with the notion.

"Friends with benefits." Naz told him, part of him was relieved that she hadn't said there was someone else.

"I can live in a sexless marriage, I don't want you thinking you have to sleep with me; to keep me." he informed her, the simple plan in his head was definitely more complicated in real world application.

"I know but honestly I don't want to live completely sexless." Naz told him, he remembered how clean cut it all was when she was in withdrawal as she too had her own pain and grief.

But she was getting better every day, he'd never taken into account that like he; she was past majority of the pain of losing a spouse and possibly ready to move on.

Though he had no clue what it felt like to be ready to move on. He just knew he didn't want to be alone for the rest of life. It wasn't about the lack of sex, he could deal with that eventually but he missed having someone at his side. Naz continued to talk.

"I just want to have fun and feel good in the real world. I've missed being with someone, sleeping together and I want to keep the door open for sex. Given we're going to have this faux marriage where we share a bed and a life together. Can we at least enjoy some of the other benefits we may or may not have assumed were off the table earlier?" Naz asked him carefully.

"Let me guess, the Nostos being out of your system has awoken your vigour?" he asked teasingly. He couldn't help but ask, as he'd been trying to be a gentleman with her and she turned the tables on him in the best way possible.

"I'm not going there." Naz informed him, but her blush told him all he needed to know.

"Clearly you want to go here." He gestured to himself, trying not to laugh, "You did kiss me and now you want more of me." he said smugly. Naz glowered at him, a blush gracing her cheeks.

"I had a moment of-whatever if you're not interested, then I will just do what I always do; read a good bodice ripper. So, let's just forget I even mentioned it." She said as she pulled one knee up in a defensive posture.

"Let's not pull out the paperbacks just yet." Mike told her, as he gently pushed the knee down so her foot was back on the ground. "Though have admit, it's kind of cute watching you squirm. I figured you to be more of a go get 'em kind of gal." he added with a grin.

"I used to be. Now, I don't want to embarrass myself. I don't have a lot of vanity but in this, I do. I'd prefer you let me down easy and set parameters than let me make a fool of myself." Naz said with a huff, Mike just looked at her for the longest moment.

He felt like he was watching this entirely new person emerge from the Nostos haze. She was just as conflicted, emotional and wanting nearly all the same things as him. Unlike him, she had no problem just spelling out plainly to his face even if she blushed and looked flustered. While he didn't like her discomfort, he did find her honesty and humour a turn on.

"Well, I'd like to kiss you now." Mike told her, giving her ample warning to say 'no'. But Naz just gave a small smile. He reached out and cupped her face with his hand, tilting it up slightly, "But just remember that I am a real person, not a blow up doll." he deadpanned, Naz rolled her eyes.

"Shut-" she started but Mike kissed her before she finished her sentence. He'd planned on going slow and gentle but something about being behind closed doors and Na's eagerness. The kiss turned from slow and gentle in a snap to hot and passionate; Naz was with him as she kissed him with raw sexual need.

He lifted her up and she swung a leg over when she settled into his lap. He growled into her mouth when she pressed herself close. Mike was in no way apologetic for his hard-on. Just as Naz did nothing to hide the fact that she wanted him right then and there.

His hands snaked under her shirt and singlet, he relished the soft feel of her warm skin. Sharp pleasure and need rippled through him when Naz bit gently on his bottom lip and tugged back. She released his lip and kissed him roughly. Mike didn't want it to stop but he had to, it wasn't fair. Naz gave a breathy moan that went did nothing to cool Mike down. He pulled out of the kiss and looked at her.

"Whoa, slow down." Mike told her as he held the side of her face and neck with one hand while the other rested on her hip. His heart pounding in his chest, sweat beading across his brow as his was fighting his own urges to keep going.

"Sorry. Did I hurt you?" Naz asked a little breathless; her face was flushed, her eyes filled with desire.

"No, I'm alright." Mike assured her. She was gorgeous with her sly smile.

"Good." She said, Mike moved his hands to her ass to hold her still, as he had to remind himself he was the Captain of a Naval vessel, not a teenager in the back seat of his first car. Captains did not come in their pants from two seconds of dry humping even if he was about two more grinds away from breaking that delusion.

"But we can't do this right now. I just don't have protection and I can't break all the rules in one night." he told her much to his own chagrin. He knew he should let go of her, at least remove her from his lap but his body wouldn't let him. "But I also don't want to let go." he confessed.

"Good, I don't want you to." Naz told him, she was still catching her breath.

"I think friends with benefits will work for me." Mike told her in a nonchalant manner, they both laughed and Naz rested her forehead on his as her arms rested on his shoulders.


	30. Chapter 30

The following morning,

Naz slowly woke up in sluggish but feeling good. She opened her eyes and frowned as she was definitely not in her bed. She looked at the bedside table clock that read 6am, next to it was a photo of Mike with his family. Her heart ached for him as he looked so happy with his family in the photo.

"Morning," Mike said, Naz looked in his direction as he came out what looked like a small bathroom. He was clean shaven and dressed for the day. He looked handsome as always, not that Naz would say as much as she was playing cool.

"How long was I out?" She asked as she pushed up in bed. She rubbed at her eyes with her good hand.

"About 9 hours. Looks like all you needed was a warm body." Mike said as he pulled on his BDU jacket. Naz smiled as she remembered how he told her to move over some time during the night.

"You're more than a blow-up doll." Naz assured him, a warm glow washing through him as she really enjoyed being wrapped around his warm body. Sure, it had been a little awkward at first given the cramped space and adjusting to the fact they weren't sleeping alone. But then his steady breathing and warmth of his body had lulled her back to sleep.

"I better be." Mike quipped, they both laughed as it was becoming a bit of running joke.

"I think that's one the best nights of sleep I've had since kicking Nostos. I hope I wasn't a terrible bed partner." She said.

"Not too bad, you drooled all over me." Mike told her, which was true.

"Usually I snore." Naz deadpanned.

"It was tiny cute snuffle noises." Mike told her, she snorted a laugh as she wasn't going to deny any bad sleeping habits, her eyes drifted around the room taking it in. It was a cramped space but then the whole ship was utilitarian in design. So, it didn't surprise her, but the photos around his office and in his sleeping quarters did. She picked up the frame looking down at the smiling faces.

"Beautiful family." Naz told him.

"Yeah, they were. I was lucky to have them." Mike said, he cleared his throat as emotions were starting to get the better of him.

"I'm sure they felt just as blessed to have you." Naz said as she gently placed the frame back where it belonged on the table. "I should get going. Sasha and I have breakfast about this time."

"You'll need your boots and here." he opened his closet and pulled out a dark grey long-sleeved, button down shirt. "Snap buttons. You have no excuse for not doing it up right or the buttons falling off." he told her in amusement.

"Cheers." She said before she smiled widely and took the shirt from him. "So, when are we going to let everyone know that we're getting married?" she asked him.

"Today? Keep a tight circle on it." Mike said.

"Like that will happen." Naz said with a chuckle as she took off her current shirt and pulled his on.

* * *

"You're late." Sasha told Naz as she sat down at their table with a protein shake in hand before she pulled over the bowl of scrambled eggs that Sasha had gotten for her. It was cold but Naz would still eat it.

"I overslept." Naz told her.

"Really? And where did you sleep? as it wasn't in your bunk." Sasha said in amusement.

"In the ship." Naz told her.

"I'd say Mike's bunk as I don't see Meylan wanting to spoon with you." Sasha said, with perfect timing as Meylan walked up to their table.

"We slept top and tails. His feet smell like old spice and unfulfilled sexual dreams of his wife." Naz quipped before she ate a spoonful of scrambled eggs. She made a face as it wasn't the best texture.

"That is partially true." Meylan quipped as he sat down at the table.

"Which part?" Sasha asked.

"Only how my feet smell like old spice. The rest is rubbish." Meylan said. Sasha and Naz smiled at the joke. "You're wearing Mike's shirt." He added as he looked at Naz's wardrobe for the day. Mike didn't have a lot of civilian clothing on the ship. It was easy to know who the owner was of the shirt currently on Naz's back.

"Wolf's was falling apart." Naz told him.

"Sure, it was." Meylan drawled in a mocking manner.

"Bet it fell apart on Mike's floor." Sasha added, her and Meylan clearly in sync with one another.

"Why don't you two just high five now and get it out of your system." Naz said with a chuckle, half expecting the two to high five one another.

"Morning." Mike said as he came to their table.

"Morning," Sasha and Meylan said in near unison, both wearing smug smiles.

"Wow, guys grow up. It's not high school." Naz told them as Mike sat down next to her with his breakfast.

"We're just having some fun." Sasha said, Meylan smiled in agreement.

"What am I missing here?" Mike asked them as he took a sip of his water. Wishing it was coffee.

"I just asked where Naz slept last night as it wasn't in our quarters." Sasha said with a sly grin. Mike was glad it was still early given majority of the mess hall was empty. Otherwise, he wouldn't have appreciated the digging he was getting but it was just the four of them and a couple other people but they were sitting far away engrossed in their own world.

"In the ship." Mike offered like the smart ass he was.

"Funny, that's what Naz said." Meylan said.

"It's accurate." Naz quipped before she ate some of her breakfast and washed it down with a sip of her protein shake.

"Speaking of, Naz and I have something we want to share with you two." Mike said in a low voice.

"Now?" Naz asked him in amusement, he gave a shrug.

"Why not?" he asked her.

"What?" Meylan asked suspiciously. Sasha looked like she already knew the answer.

"Keep it under your hats but Naz and I are going to get married. Hopefully in the next few weeks once we work out the Green card situation and get Naz valid IDs." Mike told him and Sasha. Meylan frowned in displeasure but only because he pulled a folded up bank note from his top pocket and handed it to Sasha. She plucked it from his fingers with smug satisfaction.

"Congratulations." Sasha said with a grin. Meylan's expression lightened up much to Mike's surprise.

"Yeah, congratulations. You couldn't wait two more days to tell us?" Meylan asked in annoyance.

"No, and you know better than to gamble." Mike told him, Meylan smiled and gave a shrug. "Though I have to say was expecting some resistance from you." Mike said honestly as he expected Meylan to react badly, but instead he looked genuinely happy.

"I married my wife in less than 96 hours of knowing her. So, I can't really discourage it." Meylan said with a laugh.

"Seriously?" Naz asked completely taken aback given Meylan didn't seem like the kind of man to be spontaneous.

"Yeah, liberty call in Florida and I don't regret it given 17 years later I'm still happily married." Meylan said, those around the table smiled as it was pretty adorable and warming to hear a man have such sentiments.

"Oh, that's lovely." Naz said with a warm smile.

"Yeah, if we're invited. Then you'll get to meet my Mira." Meylan said with smile.

"Of course, you both are. Andrea is my best man." Mike told him.

"What about me?" Meylan asked incredulously.

"She's getting the paperwork together and her fiancé is going to feed us a proper meal." Mike pointed out.

"Yeah, ok. I concede she is the better choice of Best man due to her resources." Meylan said thoughtfully.

"So, what is the plan?" Sasha asked Mike and Naz.

"Andrea was pulling our wedding together for Friday but I'm sure it can be just a nice celebration of our success and getting home in one piece. I'll call today and make sure she's update to date." Mike said thoughtfully.

"We'll have start pulling things together for your wedding. Like finding you something new and blue." Sasha said looking to Naz.

"Meylan can be your something blue as he'll be sad I'm off the market." Mike joked.

"Yes, the only man I want to go Brokeback Mountain with, is no longer available. I'm feeling very blue." Meylan quipped as he scratched his cheek with his middle finger.

"You should write a country song about it." Naz quipped drily.

"If only, I were musical." Meylan said with an aggrieved sigh.

"Oh my god, you're such a drama queen." Sasha said with a laugh as she shook her head at Meylan while Mike and Naz smiled in amusement.

* * *

"Can you at least tell me when the Nathan James is back?" Tom asked Andrea Sunday afternoon as he and the kids were at her house she shared with her fiancé Darius for dinner.

The house was not like anything Tom could see Andrea living in. The exterior looked normal but the interior looked like it belonged to yogi hipster with its mix of retro and modern minimalist feel and living plants around the place.

"Soon. You know they can't guarantee when they'll be back." Andrea said in amusement as she and Tom sat at the dining table. Tom's kids were currently in the kitchen helping Darius out with the meal.

The man was charming and outgoing. There was something about him that reminded Tom of a mix between Tex and Bill. He was 6 ft, fit and semi muscular man in his mid 40s with salt and pepper hair. But unlike Bill and Tex who were rough and wrinkled most of the time. Tex looked like he had rolled out of bed in the same clothes and raked his hand through his hair. Bill was just lovably not able to keep himself together in the wardrobe department. He was an academic who was more interested in his thesis than whether his shirt was tucked in properly or if his tie was straight.

Darius was more polished. Sure, he had the 5 o'clock shadow and ruffled hair but Tom wasn't fooled. The man styled himself a certain way which was off putting to Tom. Maybe it was the polished hipster look where his expensive clothes were a little wrinkled and his shoes scuffed to show that he was down to earth when really he existed on another plane to the rest of them. Tom looked around the house wondering if the man even experienced the world ending. Maybe he was just suspicious because the kids loved the man, he had managed to rope them into helping make dinner. Something Tom could seem to manage.

"I just want to know when they will back." Tom told Andrea.

"I wish I could say, but I can't. I can tell you that they are ok." Andrea said with a small smile, her hands rested on her baby bump.

"Have you spoken with them?" Tom asked her, he'd been trying to get her to tell him something but she was keeping a tight lid on her secrets when it came to work. A good thing, but annoying for Tom as he hated being on the outside.

"Yes, who do you want to know about? Sasha, Mike or the crew?" Andrea asked with a knowing smile.

"All of the above." Tom said, but he wanted know about Sasha first.

"They are good. But you won't have time to see Sasha when she gets back." She told him.

"Why not?" he asked with a frown as he ignored how Andrea knew he was thinking about Sasha.

"She'll be having her review and then flying off to Washington." Andrea said being purposefully obtuse as she didn't state what day Sasha would be back to actually answer Tom's questions.

"But she's going to be here for the engagement party on Friday." Darius said.

"Who's engaged?" Tom asked them.

"Mike and Nasrin, well I wanted to something for us too. Andrea, let me have the compromise." Darius said as he winked at Andrea. "I'm cooking a feast. It'll be a mere preview of how good our wedding reception will be." Darius promised Andrea as he placed a salad on the table along with a glass a water for Andrea.

"Thank you." She said, he pressed a casual kiss to the crown of her hair. The two were an odd match to Tom but they worked for some strange reason. Andrea looked happy and in love. But he was more concerned about the new tidbit of news regarding Mike and Naz.

"Gotta stay hydrated, Babe." Darius said before he returned to kitchen to turn over the steaks. Andrea smiled as she picked up the glass of water and took a sip.

"Mike and Naz are getting married?" Tom asked Andrea.

"I thought he told you." Andrea said playing dumb as she was covering for Darius' slip.

"No." Tom said with a frown. Not sure what to think or feel.

"You're invited. I guess he hasn't had much time to do more than work." Andrea said with a shrug.

"You think it's a good idea?" Tom asked her, referring to Mike and Naz. Andrea knew what he was asking about.

"It's Mike's life." Andrea told him in a nonchalant manner.

"You don't think it's just off that's he'd marry a complete stranger?" Tom asked her in a low voice. Andrea made a face as she didn't agree with him. But Tom knew Mike, the man was a straight arrow. He didn't like bending the rules at the best of the time. To break the rules like marrying a woman with questionable citizenship was not like Mike.

"Not really. She's had a thorough background check, Tom. She's golden." she told him.

"I doubt that." Tom remarked. He looked back to his kids who were laughing and messing in the kitchen with Darius completely oblivious to the conversation he was having with Andrea. Andrea blinked at him before she laughed.

"No, Tom; she's golden. SECNAV is looking to speed up her application for green card and wants to convince her to become an American as soon as possible as she's a valuable asset." Andrea told him, Tom frowned.

"How?" Tom asked incredulously. "She's a washed up cop and ex soldier." He said, wondering why Naz was 'valuable' and he was pushed to the side like toy no one wanted but had to keep out of obligation.

"Classified. But rest assured, she's not marrying Mike to use him for citizenship purposes. It's not a concern for her or Mike which means it's love not fraud. Ok?" Andrea assured him except Tom was not assured. If anything he felt soured and confused.

* * *

The following morning,

"I haven't seen people move so fast since the ship was under fire." Naz said as she and Sasha stood on the docks watching the crew reunite with their loved ones. The crew had work manically to get their duties finished; all so they could get to here.

"It's been 16 months with very little R&R. If they could drop and run; they would." Sasha said with a smile as she enjoyed the excitement of coming home. She may not have anyone waiting for her but she enjoyed seeing people reunite with their loved ones.

There in the crowd she saw a man who looked like a relation of Danny's. Probably the brother, Sasha had heard about as he looked a little like Danny but shorter and stockier. He smiled with Frankie on his shoulders next to a woman in her late 40s who smiled and cried as Kara sifted towards them.

Sasha and Naz watched as the family reunited in a mess of hugs, tears and laughter. Both smiling as it was a beautiful scene. There were many around that followed suit as many of the crew had family to greet them and even the friends of their loved ones. Sasha saw Miller's Mom embrace Burk as if he were her own.

"You know, that is a nice suit." Naz told Sasha.

"Thanks, I have my review." Sasha said as she blew out a nervous breath. She was not excited to go to it either.

"If you gotta run. I'm good on my own." Naz said as she was waiting for Mike to finish up his duties before they went to his place.

"No, my review isn't for another couple hours and my flight doesn't leave until tonight." Sasha told her.

"I wish I could go with you. I don't think you should be alone." Naz told her, "But Mike needs me here." She added, Sasha smiled as she understood and was also grateful for such a thoughtful friend.

"I'll be ok." Sasha assured her.

"I'm only a phone call away." Naz told her. Sasha smiled as she was grateful to have a friend in Naz. She knew Naz would be busy with Mike and settling in. Mike carried more grief than anyone she knew. So, she felt Naz had enough on her plate. But she did appreciate that Naz saw her pain, she just let Sasha go through the motions instead of pushing her one way or the other to act.

"I'm going with you." Azima told Sasha as she joined them to the offside of the crowd. Sasha frowned.

"What?" Sasha asked her, a little confused.

"Washington, I'm going with you." Azima told her as she dropped her bag onto the ground. "I'm on R&R and no one should ever go home alone." She added in a firm manner. Sasha saw from her fierce expression that Azima wasn't going to budge and Sasha didn't want to argue as she appreciated it.

"Ok, but you'll be bored." Sasha promised her.

"I want to see the White House and that old man sitting in a chair looking at the huge pond." Azima said.

"Lincoln Statue?" Sasha asked for clarification.

"Sure, it was in a lot of movies. It seems like a moody place to have deep thoughts." Azima told her, Sasha couldn't help but smile and Naz laughed.

"Nasrin Khan?" A man asked, the women looked at the man who had a friend. Both were dressed in suits and looked very official as they stood before the women.

"That's me." Naz said as she rose from her seat. She knew that they had identified her as they wouldn't have found her otherwise but she let it go.

"Agent Adrian Adanyo, U.S. Immigration and customs enforcement. I need you come with me." He said as he flashed his badge. But Naz gestured for badge.

"You flashed it a little too quick." Naz told him.

"Be my guest." He told her, Naz took the ID; carefully looking over the ID and memorising the badge number. "Given your status as an Asylum seeker, we need to interview you and go over a few details. Fill out some forms before we can approve your refugee status among other finer points." He said.

"I thought it was all handled. I have a signed agreement." Naz said as she handed back the ID.

"Yes, but you are still required to have a sit down and work with us. You also have a lot of paperwork to still fill out." He told her, repeating himself again as if she hadn't heard him the first time.

"Where are you taking her?" Sasha asked him.

"Command Centre on the base." He told Sasha.

"Good, I'll go with you. I need to check in with my bosses." Sasha said, she threw Azima a look who nodded. She didn't need to be told twice as she had to stay behind to alert Mike to what was going on.

* * *

"I hate this part." Mike said to Meylan as they were the last to leave the ship. It always felt like they were closing the book on the final chapter.

But it was how it worked. The crew disembarked completely before the Port master and his crew took over. It was a true cross over of people which meant for a total of ten minutes, the ship was completely empty of life.

After being on the ship for so long, it was strange to leave it. He knew he'd be back but it still felt like it was the final time he'd be on board. All he saw in his mind was all the good and bad memories. So much history woven into the ship that had kept them safe and together for a long time.

"It's not so bad." Meylan told him. "We'll be back in 6 months." He added.

"Hopefully it will be routine mission." Mike said as they made their final walk through the p-ways to disembark the ship.

"That would be nice, I'd like a mission that doesn't mean the world dies if we -touch wood" Meylan tapped his forehead "fail." He said.

"It would be good for a change to get back to that." Mike said.

"You ok?" Meylan asked him, sensing Mike's state. Mike felt he had a good mask on but there was probably no way of hiding his nervousness or how tense he felt at being home. Everything was different and changing by the second.

"Yeah, I just haven't been back in Norfolk for a long time." Mike told him.

"Well, it's always bittersweet to come home." Meylan said, Mike nodded in agreement as he reminded himself that everyone lost family in the pandemic. So, coming home was great but there was that bittersweet note of their grief and loss that clung to the air.

* * *

"They are staring." Naz said to Sasha as they walked into the building. They were being led through a warren of hallways and every time they passed by someone. That person looked gobsmacked for a moment before playing it cool.

"You're famous, there's a 10 storey billboard in the city with you on it." Agent Adanyo said over his shoulder. He tapped his keycard to the magnetic lock to the door that stood before them. It buzzed and he opened it, waving them in.

"Great." Naz drawled sarcastically.

"You in there." Agent Adanyo ordered Naz as he pointed to an empty conference room. He pushed open the door and Naz went in. Naz shot Sasha a look of wry amusement as she moved into the room. Sasha moved to join but Agent Adanyo blocked her from entering the room.

"You stay out here." He drawled mockingly. Sasha looked around the room, it was the main command room for majority of Naval activities but was also a monitoring station as ONI held offices and their own room of secrets just down one of the three hallways that connected to the room.

"Welcome back." Andrea said catching Sasha's attention. Sasha smiled as Andrea and her weren't close but she still considered her a friend.

"Thanks, it's good to be back." Sasha lied as she had been dreading coming back for days.

"Here to face the music?" Andrea asked in amusement.

"No, here with Naz. But I guess I could kill two birds, you cross paths with Cho today?" Sasha asked. Cho was her boss, the man she was dreading to see. But she wanted to get it over with. Face the music and then lick her wounds was Sasha's plan.

"Yes, does he ever smile?" Andrea asked her.

"Rarely." Sasha answered with a wry smile. She figured Andrea and Cho would be like two peas in a pod as both like to come into work and leave their personal lives at the door.

"He's unreadable." Andrea said in a low voice as it clearly annoyed her.

"Just the way he likes it." Sasha mused.

"I bet. Look, heads up. I put Commander Kara Green's name forth as your department is looking for more people. She needs a post closer to home and Navy doesn't have many options at the moment." Andrea told her, Sasha nodded as she knew the situation. She might not directly want to get involved in Green's home life. She didn't mind helping out where she could.

"No worries, I'll put in a good word. If it's worth anything." Sasha said wryly.

"So, that's Mike's fiancée?" Andrea asked looking towards the conference room where Naz was talking with Agent Adanyo. It looked friendly but then looks were usually deceiving.

"Yes, you know what this is about?" Sasha asked her.

"SECNAV's handiwork. He wants her citizenship to be 'accelerated' but bureaucracy at it's best means she has to jump through the hoops a lot faster. I'm not sure it's a good thing." Andrea said.

"Do I want to know why SECNAV wants this?" Sasha asked surprised.

"Probably not, he is single and looking to boost his poll numbers before he strives for Presidency." Andrea said, Sasha wasn't sure how to take that one but then she heard the door open and turned to see Cho; her boss walk in. He was 5 ft 8', in his late 40s of Korean descent.

"Cooper, walk with me." Cho ordered as he waved at her before turning his back to her.

"Sir," Sasha said, she shared a smile with Andrea before she followed her boss. They headed out of the command center and further into the building where ONI had their own rooms.

"Welcome back, how was the cruise back?" Cho asked, his tone curt and polite as always.

"Uneventful. I finished all my paperwork and sent in." Sasha told him.

"Yes, we are all up to speed with your work and the after action reports and recommendations. I know you're expecting an in depth debrief but I don't see the point in wasting time. You did a good job." Cho said, Sasha nodded grateful she wasn't going to get raked over hot coals and for Cho's pat on the back. 'Good job' was the only compliment he handed out, it was enough to let her know she wasn't in trouble. They stopped at the conference room ONI used as their own. "Before we step inside, I want you to know that I edited your reports as they were verbose." Cho told her.

"Verbose in what way?" Sasha asked, she knew she should be offended by Cho's stoic nature and overhanded nature.

"We all make mistakes, Fletcher was one of them for you. I want to believe that you've learnt not to mix yourself up with someone of a different ideology to your own in the future." Cho told her.

"I have." Sasha said, wondering how she should feel about Cho covering her back but at the same time telling her how she should act next time.

"Good, it's a rookie mistake that I'd never expect from someone of your years but we've all been sleep deprived and hungry for months. Mistakes are going to be made. You're one of the best agents we have. I don't want to bench you." He told her.

"Thank you, Sir." Sasha told him, not sure if she should be angry or feel grateful.

"But, you're on thin ice." He added, there it was. The warning that she as being forgiven but he was not forgetting her mistakes.

"Yes, Sir." She said, he gave her a long look as if analysing her before seeing what he wanted. He used his ID badge and swiped the lock before he opened the door. Sasha stepped in first followed by Cho, once the door was closed it was back to work.

"This is Sasha Cooper. She just got back from Europe." Cho told the room. "Get her up to speed." He ordered.

Sasha looked around the room at the six other occupants. Some of the faces she knew and a couple were new. She'd learn all their names and their strengths soon enough. What had her interest was what was going on with the white boards.3

"Dr Zaleski is stashed away in North Korea and most likely continuing his research into biological weaponry. We haven't been able to get anyone in deep enough to know what is truly going on." A 6ft tall Caucasian man in his mid-thirties said from the table. "I'm Peter Callaghan." He told her.

"What we do know is that the 'Red Rust' wasn't a natural evolution of the virus coined the 'Red Flu'." An Asian woman in her thirties said. "Melati Kusumo" she added, introducing herself before she turned back to the work at hand.

"Pleasure to meet you both. But I'm sorry, what was that about the Red Rust not being a natural evolution?" Sasha asked.

"Our scientists say it's virtually impossible for a virus to jump from the animal world to plants. It's only been recorded three times in known history. So, it's clear to say the virus was altered to jump into the plant world." Peter explained.

"It explains why it spread across Europe and Asia first before it hit the other continents." Sasha said thoughtfully, now she had time to reflect on the knowledge given to her.

"Yes, no one was taking stock as their populations were decimated. But we've had the time to track it down. Melati is our expert on it." Cho said gesturing to Melati.

"But what about the Lotus plant that people call 'Nostos'?" Sasha asked.

"We believe it was the plant used to make the leap. It's a common weed that can grows well in Asia and across the coast of Europe and Africa where climate is warmer. The bugs did the rest of the work. We're assuming that the North Koreans had to have affected their plan during the pandemic. It's why we've lost our crops so quickly. The focus was on survival of the 'Red Flu' and dealing with politics and coups to notice. By the time we did. It was too late." Melati said.

"What are we going to do?" Sasha asked them.

"At the moment, nothing. We're monitoring the situation. Until our operatives can get deeper into North Korea- we just don't have enough options." Cho told her.

"Unless we want to start a nuclear war." Peter offered, Cho didn't look amused.

"It's an option. I'm damn tired of all these mad scientists cropping up and trying to destroy human kind. But we have enough problems with nuclear plants melting down and other concerns that take precedence." Cho said as he rubbed a hand down his face.

"So, what do you need me to do?" Sasha asked Cho.

"I know it's not exciting but we need your language skills in translating intel and monitoring live taps. Also looking over what we got going on. See if you catch something we may have missed." Cho told her.

"Desk duty." Sasha said, wondering if it was her punishment.

"No offence but you're a little too Caucasian to be operating in North Korea and your cover in Asia was blown when you decided jumped onto Chandler's bandwagon." Peter told her, Sasha wore a wry expression as the man had balls to point out as much to her in such a callous manner.

"I did well on my last mission." Sasha told him.

"Yeah, true enough. But you can pass for someone from the UK or Europe. Captain Slattery and Captain Meylan are definitely better PR machines for the Navy. That aside, our main focus is intelligence gathering and stocktake of nuclear armaments across the globe." Peter said.

Sasha in that moment wanted to smash the man's face into the table for all the insults he was slinging her way. She looked at the others wondering why they were letting him get away with such disrespect. But they just looked focussed on the task at hand.

"We need more analysts at the moment as all our operatives are tied into the current ops. The President wants everything under the radar. The new administration tagline is to quietly mend fences." Cho said in a no-nonsense manner.

"How bad is it out there?" Sasha asked them, she had a vague idea but she had been so focussed on her objectives she blocked out the bigger problems. The problems that had long term ramifications.

"Bad. We have no allies." Cho told her.

"What?" Sasha asked in disbelief.

"Australia and UK haven't publicly cut ties but they have shut down a lot of infrastructure claiming their resources are drained. They aren't our only allies crying a lack of resources." Cho told her.

"It could be true." Sasha argued.

"It's not." Peter told her.

"90% of Asia's population has been decimated. 85% of the African continent's surviving population is dwindling fast due to the famine and other diseases running rampant. They don't have the resources to keep themselves alive. America has nothing to extend to them." Melati added to the conversation. Sasha felt as if it was all too bleak for words. She had been basking in the glow of a cure and yet it didn't solve anything. It was just another stop gap until the next thing.

"UK and Europe are a mess." Cho said.

"South America is barely worth talking or worrying about." Peter added with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Last count has global population at 15 million, that's just a rough figure." Cho told Sasha.

"And if we believe the numbers the other countries are claiming; are true." Melati said to Cho, he nodded as they were all working on the assumption that their allies weren't lying and their intel was solid.

"So right now, the only thriving country with Nuclear weapons and infrastructure is-" Sasha started but Peter cut her off.

"North Korea which is pretty funny given how we mock them for being backwards. But here they are, outliving us all." He said, she knew in her bones he was going to be her competition for top dog in the office.

"Yes, but we are worried about where the other nukes are. We didn't make any friends by taking five months to get the cure across the world." Melati said, Sasha despised the resentment she felt in the room as it made her feel like it was her fault, it was the Nathan James' fault when they were the reason they had a cure. But she reminded herself that these people operated on the basis that everyone hated America and how could they pre-empt any serious actions that might be taken out against them.

"There's a lot of resentment not just internationally but locally over the Asia debacle. It's just a catalyst to people opening their eyes and seeing the worst and questioning why we didn't do better." Cho said with a sigh.

"We did our best. Peng was holding up his shipments and not spreading the cure. We fixed that and stopped Peng and his genocide." Sasha argued.

"It wasn't a thorough job." Peter told her.

"Only because a coup here made us come back which impeded us from finishing the job. We couldn't go back because the Red Rust issue needed to be addressed." Sasha told him. She hated making excuses but even they had to realise how limited their resources were.

"Let's not argue over it. The point that I hope Peter is making that terrorism home grown or international is something we have seriously consider and monitor. What started it all is moot, we just have to stop anything bad from happening in the future because of it." Cho said.

"I agree." Peter said.

"15,000 nuclear weapons to find." Sasha said, blowing out a breath and letting go of her anger.

"11,432 are still unaccounted for and missing since the pandemic. Ten of that number are lost here in America." Peter said.

"Shit." Sasha said under her breath as that was too high of a number.

"Yeah, we got our work cut out for us. Which is why we need you behind a desk for the moment. But if we get a lead on any nukes on our side, I want you on it. But for now, you use your language skills and translate what's coming through the lines." Cho told her.

"Of course, Sir." Sasha said as it made sense and she actually didn't mind the idea of jumping into the next assignment especially given the seriousness of it.

"Good, follow me." Cho said, they left the room. Sasha couldn't help but feel stressed and agitated by the meeting. "We have you set up in here. I know you're feeling burned out." He told her as they reached the first office down the hallway.

"I'm good." Sasha told him.

"Don't lie to me, Cooper. It doesn't help either of us." Cho told her.

"I could use the rest of week off." Sasha said honestly.

"Then take it. This one is a marathon. Come back bright and early next Monday." Cho said.

"Thank you, Sir." Sasha said, relieved she could take the time off to just digest the new world order she was going to have deal with now she was stateside. Cho gave a nod and took about two steps away before she called for him,"Sir?" she asked.

"Yes?" he asked turning his attention back to her.

"You said we're short on analysts. I know a few people from Nathan James who might be interested in overtime or at least part time hours to build experience before they get their next post." Sasha told him in a low voice.

"We were looking Commander Green and a few of the Nathan James crew. Any insights?" Cho asked.

"She's solid, her work ethic strong and she has a great eye for detail." Sasha told him, she had to admit she liked how Cho took her at face value than judging her for everything she did wrong. "I'd have to know the other names on your list before I can make a judgement call. But if they are from CIC, Commander Green would be able to give you better insight on who'd be best for which role." Sasha added.

"Ok, I'll look into it. Go enjoy your break." Cho ordered.

"Thank you, Sir." Sasha said, she watched him slip back into the conference room before she took a deep breath and headed back towards the command centre to leave the building.

"How did you go?" Andrea asked as Sasha was back into her realm again.

"Better than expected." Sasha said, she felt like she just been through a tornado and was still dizzy from the quick briefing. She looked at what was going on the room taking in the activity. "How are you? You look great." she told Andrea.

"I'm pretty good." Andrea said with a smile. She looked good as she was pregnant and glowing. It made Sasha a little envious as she felt burned out and haggard.

"Good, how's Naz going?" Sasha asked as she looked in to see Naz speaking with Adrian Adanyo.

"No one is in cuffs or dead yet. So, I'd say it's going well." Andrea told her, Sasha gave her a look before they both smiled and chuckled.


	31. Chapter 31

5 minutes ago,

Naz sat in a conference room waiting. She'd been waiting over twenty minutes ever since they stashed her in the room. She had watched Sasha disappear and wondered where she had been taken to. She wondered why they brought her into such a sensitive area of the building given she could see exactly what was going on outside. But she didn't get to consider it further when Agent Adanyo came back into the room.

"Thank you for your patience." Agent Adanyo said, carrying a thick file of papers. He placed it onto the table with a healthy thud before he sat down.

"Is something wrong with my immunity deal and asylum status?" Naz asked him, her main concern was that her agreement had been rescinded or worse someone had snitched on her and Mike. She could see Tom doing it as it would pull Mike out of circuit for prime command positions leaving Tom and Meylan to fight it out. Meylan while impressive in his own right was not as famed as Tom.

"No." Agent Adanyo said.

"Good." Naz said in slight relief but she couldn't help but feel guarded given the large amount of paper to his right hand. He squared her with a serious look, which slightly concerned her.

"Thanks to people above me and my boss; you get a fast pass to a green card today." He said as he pulled the file into his hands and opened it.

"As in right now?" Naz asked in surprise.

"Yes, fill out the forms. We'll take a photo and you'll have it in the next two weeks." He told her, as he passed over several forms for her.

"So, no questions?" Naz asked as she awkwardly picked up the pen and starting filling out the forms he gave her.

"That will be when or if you decide to apply for American citizenship by naturalisation. It shouldn't be too strenuous as long as you know American history and civics." He said conversationally.

"I always thought the process was a long, difficult and almost impossible for almost everyone." Naz commented, she couldn't help but feel it was too good to be true. Like someone was going to walk in and tell her it was all a prank.

"It was, and still is for some. You however get to bypass the line due to several factors." Agent Adanyo told her.

"Which are?" Naz asked out of curiosity.

"Education, work experience and current marital status." Adanyo told her, Naz frowned in confusion.

"My marital status?" She asked wondering how it came into play given Mike only told Sasha and Meylan.

"You're single." He said.

"I'm engaged." Naz corrected, she wondered for half a second if she should say she was single but it was too late to back peddle.

"To?" He asked out of curiosity.

"Captain Slattery." She answered, Agent Adanyo's serious expression turned into one of quiet amusement. "What's so funny?" Naz asked him.

"It's just a perfect union, Ma'am." He told her, Naz couldn't help but be concerned by the man's pleasure. But she decided not to think about it as she really wanted to get out.

"Speaking of perfect unions. Could I possibly get something to drink or eat?" she asked him.

"Sure." Agent Adanyo told her.

* * *

"What's going on?" Mike asked Andrea after they shared a quick greeting and some small talk. He could see the room Naz was stashed in. She had her head down and was writing away on paper. It had him worried as to what she was writing and what was going on.

"Immigration. I wouldn't worry." Andrea told him, just as the Agent came out of the room. He walked straight up to Mike and Andrea before he held out his hand.

"Captain Slattery, I'm Agent Adrian Adanyo." The man said to him. Mike shook his hand.

"Agent, what's going on?" he asked.

"Just accelerating Ms Khan's green card application. I hear congratulations are in order. You're a very lucky man." Adanyo told him with a smile that was almost smarmy.

"Thank you." Mike said.

"Now, I have to go find some water." Adrian said.

"Kitchen down the hallway to third door on the right." Andrea told him, once the man was out of earshot.

"What was that?" Mike asked her as he had a weird feeling about it all.

"I'm not entirely sure but I do know SECNAV pushed immigration to get Naz her green card very quickly." Andrea said to him, one of her assistants called to her to inform her that Admiral Wilder was on the phone. She picked up the phone closest to her and spoke to the man for a few minutes before hanging up. "We have to go see Wilder." She told him.

"Now?" Mike asked, he didn't want to leave Naz on her own but clearly he didn't have a choice as Andrea gave him a look.

"Yes." Andrea said.

* * *

Twenty minutes later into what turned from a quick meeting into a full debrief because SECNAV was supposedly going to show up to shake their hands or shout at them. Mike wasn't sure which as Joshua Reiss wasn't an easy read. Mike and Meylan were getting the bad news of all their hard work.

"Soylent? Are we being punished Sir?" Mike asked incredulously, Wilder snorted a laugh as he allowed some humour in debrief as long it was too on the nose. Mike was exhausted, he thought they'd be coming back to a more relaxed state when it came to food.

But it wasn't so, as their protein shakes were being plumped. In some cases, it was replaced with Soylent. Soylent was basically meal in a cup, it certainly looked like vomit. Its taste wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. But even so, Mike did like the efficacy of it as it was quick to make and left very little to wash up.

"No, but if we can get people to stay on it a little longer while we build our reserves. The longer we stay on Soylent better off we'll be." Wilder said, he frowned as Mike and Meylan weren't sold by the company line. "Don't look at me like that. It comes from the President's office. So of course, we the military are going to thrive off of soylent for at least 1-2 meals a day and hope one day our bowels will forgive us." He told them, it earned him a couple of smiles.

"Any other great news, Admiral?" Meylan asked, Mike shot him a look that said 'kiss ass'.

"Yes, SECNAV wants to celebrate our victory of getting a cure and the seeds. This coming Saturday 12pm at his Norfolk home for a BBQ. All of the crew who are in town are expected to show. Spouses and family included, smart casual dress code." Wilder said.

"It's just a small affair to thank you all for your hard work as we can't publicly celebrate our success just yet." SECNAV Joshua Reiss said as he strolled into the room.

"Mr Secretary." Wilder said as everyone stood up from their chairs.

"Sit down, sorry I'm late. Immigration wanted words with me over Ms Khan and us honouring her deal." Joshua said with a smile as he sat down at the table with them.

"We are honouring it, right Sir?" Meylan asked, saving Mike from asking the same question.

"Yes and she is going to be my honoured guest this Saturday. When I'm allowed to speak with her. I can't see her saying 'no' to me." He said with a chuffed smile. Mike wondered if he should speak up but then decided to keep quiet instead. He figured it was better to wait until he spoke with her to see what happened with Immigration before speaking out of turn.

"I noticed in the command centre that we're at DEFCON 2. Will we be deploying again?" Mike asked, changing the topic.

"God, no." Joshua scoffed as he resettled his suit jacket. Wilder took over, as Meylan and Mike were confused.

"It has been decided to let CIA, FBI and ONI are going to take over as the Navy takes a back seat. They're currently doing a stocktake of where all the nuclear armaments are and who is holding them. The scientist who created the Green mist is in North Korea." Wilder told Mike and Meylan. Andrea wore a resigned expression as she clearly heard it all before and like the men. She didn't like the inaction of waiting for trouble.

"I'm still surprised that they survived the pandemic completely intact." Joshua mused.

"They are fairly shut off from the rest of the world to begin with. When the pandemic hit, they closed their borders faster than any other country. They preserved those borders very diligently." Wilder reminded him.

"Yes, rather brutal but effective given they only lost 5% of their population. If we believe what they told us." Joshua said, the disclaimer that seemed to follow anything related to other countries or city states.

"I take it they are our major concern?" Meylan asked.

"Yes, but when are they not?" Wilder asked him, something no one at the table could argue. North Korea was always an issue and always would be.

"True, Sir." Meylan said, knowing better than to argue.

"Right now, we need to keep a low profile on the international level. So, our agencies will gather information and we'll decide what the next steps are. But right now, the President wants it to appear as though we are looking a little more inward instead of outward." Joshua informed them.

"Sir, what about the cure?" Mike asked.

"If it works, we'll immediately spread it surreptitiously throughout the world. We don't need the backlash that we had with Dr Scott's cure. We'll announce that a cure has been found when the red rust in Europe and across the other continents have recovered by 40%. That way, no one will think we withheld anything. The President doesn't want it to be a big thing, he doesn't want what happened in Asia to repeat itself." Admiral Wilder told them.

"I know it's a blow to not sing your victories on this score but given the political climate, it's better we work quietly in the background instead of stamping 'Made in U.S.A.' on all the bugs." Joshua said.

"I'm fine with that, Sir." Meylan said as Mike nodded in agreement. They felt people being fed was more important than getting a pat on the back.

"Good, look we're very proud of all your hard work. You will be rewarded for it. I'm having a cow slaughtered as we speak for a BBQ." Joshua told them.

"My wife is a vegan." Meylan said.

"No one is perfect." Joshua quipped but the joke fell flat, "Joking, there will be vegan options." He assured Meylan.

"Thank you, Sir." Meylan said as he didn't see the humour but knew better than to make a big deal about it.

"So, what can we do while Nathan James is in dry dock?" Mike asked Wilder and Joshua.

"Right now, you'll be on R&R. Rest up, when you come back; it'll be about rebuilding our forces and training recruits. We want to roll out another two ships in the next two to five years. We need sailors to serve on them." Wilder told them, Mike gave a nod as he couldn't argue with the logic of building up their resources.

"On that note, I have to get going. I have another meeting to go to. It's been a gas. Enjoy your 6 months R&R." Joshua told them, he looked to Wilder "Walk me out?" he asked.

"Yes, Sir." Wilder said, he rose from his chair. He dismissed the room and left them to their own devices.

"He's such an asshole." Andrea said in a low voice. Mike couldn't tell which one she was talking about; so just agreed with both.

"No doubt, why wasn't Tom here?" Mike asked her.

"He's been demoted, not publicly. He still holds his rank but his security clearance is revoked. We can't tell him anything but he is still a captain with the respect and pay check." Andrea said, Mike could hear the resentment but then he understood why she felt that way.

She couldn't be promoted due to a lack of commands and too many captains. So, she was stuck at her pay grade and rank. There's Tom, a Captain and getting paid as one even though he duties weren't that of a Captain.

"I wanted to ask, but do you know why?" Mike asked.

"Something to do with lawyers and damage control. The photo exhibit and some online videos have had a bit of a negative effect on Tom's and the Navy's public profile given Tom is the face of the Navy." Andrea said with a sigh.

"Videos?" Meylan asked.

"Him beating the shit out of other men in Greece and Sardinia. It's brutal and has left people questioning their adoration of him. There are a lot of rumours and conspiracy theories around Tom that are gaining more traction on the internet. Optics aren't great, and SECNAV thinks that optics are everything." Andrea told them.

"Do I want to know?" Mike asked, Andrea gave a shrug as if to say it was up to him.

"I do." Meylan said, Andrea looked at both men sizing them up before she spoke.

"There's rumours that President Michener was mentally unbalanced and suicidal. That he attempted suicide on the Nathan James before St Louis. Tom not only covered it up but also installed in Michener the highest position of power in America. He knowingly committed fraud and some consider it treason given it opened the door for Allison Shaw's coup. Add in over 200 families who were affected by the sinking of Shackleton and Hayward in Asia. The fact we didn't stop the genocide and the scientist is still out there. I heard that people wanted it to be properly investigated and Tom to be prosecuted. But it's all been swept under the rug." Andrea said.

"It's garbage." Mike said, even though it was all chillingly true. The facts were true, the negative spin was just a matter of opinion. But he knew how easily the American people could be turned after what Valerie Raymond. Hell, Meylan might be on their side but Mike felt that the man still didn't entirely trust Tom given the mutiny and loss of the Hayward.

"The problem of hindsight and civilians who don't understand that tough decisions have to be made in the most stressful situation; where we simply have seconds to make what is hopefully the right decision." Andrea said.

"We had our successes with our losses." Mike said diplomatically as he wasn't for or against any of it.

"We did. I think if Tom had stayed, it wouldn't be like this. But SECNAV wants to tuck him quietly away at the Naval College. I think it's for the best." Andrea said.

"Really?" Mike asked.

"Tom used to be a great leader. But he's forgotten what the Navy stands for, what we are and who we stand for." Meylan stated before Andrea could say anything but she nodded in agreement.

"I don't agree with that." Mike said feeling like the odd man out.

"You can't argue that he has one foot in while the other is out. That he has forgotten that by leaving he's lost his seniority and any chance to defend himself. So, right now, he needs to play ball and take the slap on the wrist with some grace. Suffer through his timeout until the boys let him back into the clubhouse." Andrea told him.

"Is there something going on here?" Mike asked her as Andrea seemed bitter about Tom, but seemed like more than that.

"No, it's fine." Andrea assured him, "Admiral Wilder is not a progressive man to work under. He thinks anyone who served on the Nathan James are substandard. It took me months to earn his respect and then I got pregnant, and Tom came back. Reminding Wilder that we're all sloppy undisciplined sailors." Andrea added.

"I didn't get that impression." Mike said, Meylan gave a shrug not answering either way.

"You both have penises." Andrea informed them, Meylan snorted a laugh.

"I do." Mike said, he realised that this was one of those problems he couldn't understand as he would never experience sexual harassment. Or be impeded career wise due to his gender.

"On that note, I'm going to go home to my wife." Meylan told them.

"Let's go watch SECNAV crash and burn with your future wife." Andrea told Mike.

* * *

"Done." Naz said with relief as her hand was aching from all the writing. She laid the last form on the pile, glad it was over. She wished she could flex her fingers but her broken arm wouldn't let her. The pain was just bearable.

"Ok, let's take the photo and then we're done." Agent Adanyo told her.

"What about the rest of the folder?" She asked as she rose from her chair. She moved to the white wall. Within minutes, the photo was taken and Adanyo held out his hand.

"Welcome to America, Ms Khan." He told her, Naz smiled as she shook his hand.

"Thank you, for all your help." Naz told him as she released his hand. The door to the room opened and the two looked to the man who came in with a brilliant smile and sharp suit.

"Did I miss the moment?" he asked.

"Not at all. We're finished here." Agent Adanyo said as he picked up the paperwork and left the room. Naz looked to the man.

"I'm Joshua Reiss, Secretary of the US Navy. Welcome to America." He said as he held out his left hand.

"Nasrin Khan. Pleased to meet you and thank you." She said, she took his hand and tried not to frown as he placed his other hand on top hers as they shook hands.

"The pleasure is all mine. Please have a seat." He said, he released her hand and the two sat down. Naz surreptitiously looked outside the glass wall to see they had a small audience watching them. She looked back to the man before her.

"I really appreciate how the Navy and US government have kept to the agreement but also expedited my green card. The process was rather pain free which is usually the opposite of what I've heard in the past." Naz said.

"Times are changing. You held up your end of the bargain. We uphold ours." He said with a warm smile which normally she would take at face value but she knew better. A man of Joshua's stature would not be here unless he had an agenda.

"Still, I appreciate it." Naz said, being polite.

"You could show that appreciate by coming to my party this weekend." He told her.

"Ok." Naz said, she assumed Mike was invited and she could catch a ride. She suddenly knew his game, he wanted her in his collection of friends because of her fame.

"Have you found a place to stay yet?" he asked.

"Captain Slattery has offered me lodgings at his house." Naz said.

"Well, that's generous of him." Joshua said, his smile faltering slightly before he recovered.

"It is, and not to be rude but I'm exhausted. Was there something else you wanted to discuss?" Naz asked him, she rose from her chair hoping he got the point and luckily he did as he rose from his own chair and gestured to the door.

"It can wait until Saturday, the party is at my house at 12pm." He said as he opened the door.

"I'll be there. Should I bring anything?" Naz asked.

"Just yourself." He said before his mobile phone rang. He gave a smile and a sigh of man who loved that he was so popular. "Back to the grind stone with me." He told her.

"Nice meeting you Sir." She told him.

"You too." He told her before he excused himself and took the phone call. Naz looked to Mike and Andrea.

"How are you?" Mike asked as she came to stand by them.

"My hand is killing me." Naz said, she gave Andrea a closed lip smile.

"Andrea Garnett, this is Nasrin Khan." Mike said making the introductions.

"It's good to finally meet you." Naz said with a smile.

"You too." Andrea said warmly.

"Mike told me only good things. Congratulations on the engagement and baby. You must be over the moon by it all." Naz said, her arm was throbbing painfully but she was determined to make a friend in Andrea.

"I am feeling pretty lucky." Andrea said with a serene smile.

"Are we still doing dinner on Friday?" Naz asked.

"Well, with SECNAV's get together… we may have to postpone as Darius doesn't like to take a work night off if he can help it." Andrea said.

"The wedding is post pone for the moment." Naz said looking to Mike. "At least until my photo ID comes in." she added as explanation. Mike nodded as he was prepared for the outcome. He was just glad the SECNAV unknowingly pushed the green card for them.

"Understandable but now you can have a proper wedding." Andrea said with a smile her face lighting up with excitement. Both Naz and Mike paled at the idea.

"Oh no, we're good with small courthouse ceremony." Naz said casually, Mike nodded in agreement.

"Ok, well you two kids get out of here as I have to work. But we will catch up on Saturday." Andrea said to them.

"We'll see you then." Mike said, Naz nodded before she let Mike usher her out of the building.

* * *

"The car is this way." Mike told her as they left the building and were halfway into the car park when he pulled out the keys. They had walked in silence for majority of the way back to the car which told Naz that he wasn't happy. That and the tense line of his jaw and ramrod back.

"Is everything ok?" Naz asked him.

"Yeah but I am worried about SECNAV. He seems to have a crush on you." Mike told her, he saw the way the man eyed Naz in the room. He didn't want to say it, but he didn't like it or the feelings of possessiveness he felt in regards to Naz.

"It's not ideal but he has a crush on my supposed fame not me. Politicos like to use the fame of others to boost their own. He's not the first man to think he can wheel and deal me into a relationship to raise his stature." Naz told him in a nonchalant manner.

"I'm not sure how he'll take us getting married. He pulled strings for you." He told her.

"My green card isn't an issue. Agent Adanyo loved sticking it to SECNAV. So, I'm pretty sure they'll give me a free pass on a full citizenship." Naz said, trying to find the silver lining in the situation.

"How many times do we have to go over this?" Mike asked her incredulously as he pointed to his vehicle.

"It's a good thing. I'll tell anyone who asked that you dumped me because I was a troll or I broke one of your deal breakers." Naz told him, Mike shook his head as he was getting used to her in his life and he didn't want to let her go.

"I gave you my word and I want you to be able to feel secure. You know a Green card doesn't mean you get to stay. SECNAV is a snake, so we keep to the plan. We get married and it's hard for him to try any more stunts. We get married, you're solid, you can stay." He told her in a low voice as they reached the vehicle.

"I don't want to ruin your life." She said as she stood at the door about to open it when Mike gave her a look. "What?"

"You can't drive, you don't have a licence yet." He said, she looked down to see she was standing on the driver's side of the car.

"Right, sorry, I forgot you guys are back to front in this country." Naz said feeling tired and flustered as she went around the other side of the car. They hopped into the vehicle. She pulled on the seat belt and watched Mike as he took a moment to pull on his seat belt and calm down.

"You're not ruining my life. I like having you around and honestly, I just want something to work out. I want-" Mike stopped as he wasn't sure how to explain himself.

"To help me." Naz offered.

"Yes." Mike said.

"Ok," She said with a tone of finality. She decided that he was fully aware of what he was doing and she was going to stop offering him a way out.

"The plan is still on?" he asked her as he stuck the key into the ignition.

"Yes." She said, as she truthfully didn't want out. It wasn't to save her vanity but more for her own sanity. "I like to sleep on the side of the bed closest to a wall." She added.

"Good, I prefer to be closest to the door." He said, he started the engine and peeled out their car spot. He felt at least one of the knots inside him ease in knowing she was going to stop letting him off the hook. Now all that faced him was going home.

"Glad that is settled. As for the wedding, we'll have to push the date back until we have a licence." Naz said.

"Have to get you a ring first." He said as he didn't like the idea of slowing things down. He just wanted everything to be in place and perfect. To have the ring on his finger that said 'I'm not alone in the world'.

"Another day, today I just want to go home." She told him, Mike liked the sound of her words even though the reality was not as exciting.

* * *

An hour later,

Mike and Naz stood on the front path to his home. The neighbourhood around them was lively and beautiful in the Autumn morning sun as people were going to work and kids were being wrangled into cars to get them to school.

Mike looked up at the house, feeling bittersweet as the exterior looked in need of a fresh coat of paint and the windows needed a proper clean. The grass and front yard were cut and kept to perfection. It contrasted with the house in a glaring manner.

He half expected and hoped the door would open up and the girls would run out to greet him. Christine would wave from the window. Old memories of yesterday playing through his mind when the bleak reality sat in front of him.

"It's lovely." Naz told him.

"It needs some TLC." Mike told her, appreciating her for not pointing out all the faults.

"We all need TLC." Naz said with a chuckle, he gave a small smile as he needed levity as they walked towards the house. They got to the front door, he dropped his bag and pulled out his keys.

He took in a deep inhale and pushed the key into the lock. It took a moment along with a jiggle and hard shove for the front door to open. But it opened it with a sad creak and wail. A musty smell waved past them and Mike's heart stopped as no time had passed since the last time he came home. The house was a painful time capsule of memories.

He picked up his bag and lent it against the wall where he always placed it when he came home from deployment. He knew his family was gone but old habits kept creeping back. He got excited he was home, that the kids should be out by now. He'd look to the kitchen and Christine would be finishing her breakfast.

But when he looked up, he just saw empty spaces covered by dust and dust motes flying in the air. The emptiness cracked open with him, grief swelled within. He knew they were gone but so many memories bombarded him.

He felt Naz's hand touch his back, she brought him back into the present. He felt the tears trickle down his face. He cleared his throat and wiped at his face; pretending he wasn't crying.

"If it's ok, I want to open some windows and start kicking out the dust." She told him in a soft manner.

"Yeah, let's do it." Mike said as she was right, they needed to clean the house and make it livable.

"Good, cause I don't know about you but my allergies are killing me." She said, he looked to her and saw the tears in her eyes. Tears that weren't an allergy.

"Yeah." He said in agreement. His tears weren't an allergy but he preferred to pretend for his vanity. They moved around the room opening windows.


	32. Chapter 32

"Captain Chandler, Sir." Cadet Wilson said, Tom looked up from his laptop which he'd just disconnected from the Smart board the school used for teaching. He wasn't against technology but he did miss the simplicity and familiarity of a black board, chalk and old school projectors. Everything nowadays was interconnected and while it was easy to use. It did have it's glitches like when the power shorted out.

"Cadet Wilson. What can I do for you?" Tom asked the 20 yr old man.

"Permission to speak freely?" Wilson asked.

"Granted." Tom said as he closed his laptop. He hoped it wasn't going to be a question about the class as he felt he'd covered enough ground for the day.

"My Mom is a huge fan of yours. I was wondering-"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not a celebrity who signs autographs. I'm a Captain in the US Navy." Tom reminded him, he watched as the young man's expression of hope fell. He wasn't the first to ask for as much.

"Yes, sir. My apologies. Sir." Wilson said quickly.

"You're a good kid, but you should get going." He told him, dismissing the kid before things got awkward.

"Yes Sir." Wilson said snapping to attention before leaving Tom. Tom took a deep inhale and exhale as it was too long of a day.

"That's harsh. It's just for his Mom." Sasha said, Tom looked to see her standing at the doorway. She leaned on the frame, looking breathtakingly beautiful. Her long hair loose around her shoulders as she wore a black suit with a white shirt. It reminded him of the first time he'd seen her in Asia.

"You're back." Tom said with a smile.

"Just a pit stop before I go home." Sasha said, irrational as it was; Tom's heart fell slightly as it stung that her idea of home wasn't near him.

"Where is home?" he asked her out of curiosity.

"Washington." Sasha told him.

"It's a Ghost town." Tom said, last he heard it was nothing but a pit-stop for travellers as majority of the populations clung to the coastlines except for a few pocket communities that had farms and were self-sufficient enough to not need too much help.

"So, I've heard but it's been too long and I got to go home." Sasha said as she moved into the classroom.

"Yeah, I get that." Tom said watching her. She sat down at a desk in the front row. He smiled as memories of when he'd been her teacher. She had sat right at the back with the cool kids. Yet, she acted like the smart kid who had all the questions.

"How's the new job going?" Sasha asked changing the topic as she knew there was no way of changing Tom's mind as once it was set that was it.

"Not what I want." Tom said as he sat down at the desk next to hers. She turned side on in her chair and gave him a reminiscent smile as she was clearly remembering their former days together.

"You used to love teaching." Sasha said as she remembered when he had taught her so many years ago.

"I enjoyed it then because it was temporary and a good stepping stone. This feels like a quiet retirement." Tom said with a sigh. He rubbed a hand down his face as he was tired. Not just of how his career took a steep nose dive but how he kept misstepping. It was becoming an art form for him.

"You did leave." Sasha reminded him.

"I wish people would stop using that as an excuse. I didn't leave entirely, I still had a foot in the door. I also came back and swore an oath to be here full time. It should mean something more than what I've gotten." Tom reminded her, Sasha gave a shrug as she clearly had no interest in arguing it.

"You ever think that maybe they need you here more than they do on the bridge of a Arleigh Burk or pushing paper around in the old court house?" Sasha asked him.

"No, my credentials and experience are being wasted here. There's something brewing out there and I'm sidelined because of rumours and bad press." Tom told her.

"I'm sorry you feel that way." Sasha told him. Tom narrowed his eyes at her as he felt like she didn't care at all. His career and reputation were a mess and it was fine to her.

"You think I'm being petty." Tom stated.

"I think that you don't see the larger picture. The Navy needs to rebuild it's resources." Sasha told him, Tom reared back at her.

"Look who drank the Kool aid. How would you feel being sidelined here?" he asked her, gesturing to the classroom.

"My knowledge and experience are invaluable. I'm not so vain as to believe that I can do my job forever or be in the field for much longer. We need more operatives, we need more sailors. The only way we get them up to standard is if people like you and me train them." Sasha told him in a matter of fact manner.

"I hear you what you're saying but it doesn't change how I feel. I'm the equivalent of a dead fish mounted on a wall." He told her.

"Over-dramatic much?" Sasha asked him with a chuckle.

"No, I have no security clearance and I'm here." Tom said.

"While all your friends are saving the world?" She asked in amusement which annoyed Tom to no end.

"No, while they are doing the jobs that I want." Tom said, saying the truth of what his inner voice had been saying for the past fortnight. He realised how petty that sounded.

"Well, suck it up Princess and show you can do your time with grace until they need you. Play the politics and learn to rub shoulders with the right people." She told him, Tom made a face as he knew she was right about working the system but he didn't like it.

"I don't do politics." Tom grumbled.

"Well, it's the only way you'll get out of here." Sasha told him, she pushed herself up and out of her chair.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I got a flight to catch. I'll see you at the party on Saturday." She told him.

"What happened to Friday?" Tom asked.

"Got postponed, SECNAV is having a party on Saturday for the crew. I'm sure that he'll have you there." Sasha said.

"I'm sure he will, I'll see you then." Tom said, as much he wanted her to stay. He knew she had to leave, as she had her own life and things to deal with.

"Just a tip, you should go and see Mike and Naz. Give them a housewarming gift and apologise to Naz." Sasha advised him.

"For what?" Tom asked.

"For accusing her being a spy and nearly killing her. You might be over it, but she's not and I think it would help you both in the long run. It would definitely help Mike as he doesn't deserve to be in the middle of your issues with Naz." Sasha said with a wave she disappeared out of the room leaving Tom to his own thoughts.

* * *

"I have found a lot of cleaning product and most of them still smell artificially 'fresh'. But no, vacuum." Naz said as she carried five bottles of spray cleaners. All purposed for various jobs.

"Christine liked things to be clean and the vacuum's in the garage." Mike told her, they had had shared a MRE for lunch before Mike changed into his civilian clothing. It was just easier to clean the house in pair of cargo pants and a t-shirt.

"No kidding, she's got enough cleaning products to clean Africa." Naz said, her eyes going wide as the couch was pushed a good three feet from where it had been. The rug was lifted up and over the coffee table. Mike was crouched down on the floor with a crowbar in hand.

"I doubt that." He said as he moved to lever the loose boards up.

"What are you doing with that crowbar?" Naz asked as Mike looked ready to pry a floorboard up.

"Getting to my safe." Mike said as he popped the loose boards with ease and clearing them to the side.

"You buried a safe under your floorboards, covered it with a rug and a couch?" Naz asked slightly concerned as it was fairly next level of crazy that she never expected from Mike.

"Yeah, for the long-term stuff like important papers and precious heirlooms. Stops it from being stolen." He told her in a manner that suggested that everyone did this, but Naz wasn't too sure about that.

"Don't you think it's a little overkill?" she asked as she sat on the couch cross legged; watching him open the safe.

"No, it works well. Nothing of real value was stolen" He said as he pulled out a ring box. He held it out to her. "Here, it used to be my mother's. I want you to have it." he told her.

"I can't." she said, it was a family heirloom which made her think if Mike buried it under his home then it meant a lot to him.

"You can and you will. I originally saved it for the girls but they- " he stopped as they both knew the end of that story. "It should be worn. We're engaged and it's the ring I want to give you." Mike told her, Naz took the ring box from him and popped it open.

"It's gorgeous." She said in awe as she loved the ring. It was antique minimalist engagement ring with yellow gold band. It had a stunning white center diamond surrounded by tiny white diamonds on either side. It told a story as the band was well worn with nicks and scratches, the diamonds where in good shape, but it was in need of a clean and some polish.

"Hopefully it will fit." Mike said as he closed the safe and put the floorboards back into places.

"So, this was your Mum's engagement ring?" She asked him, as he pulled the rug over the floor. He winced as dust plumed into the air before he gave a nod of affirmation.

"Yeah, Christine prefers modern jewellery." Mike said wryly, it wasn't just modern but Christine like bigger diamonds. He remembered how she'd drop hints about what ring she wanted, basically it was big, sparkly and expensive enough to make his wallet cry.

"Each to their own." Naz said diplomatically, she slipped the ring onto her left ring finger. "It's a little loose but once I put on some more weight it'll fit perfectly." Naz told him with a closed lip smile. A small blush gracing her cheeks, it was clear she loved the ring as her face glowed. Mike couldn't help but feel a sense of joy and pleasure at seeing the ring on her finger.

"Good." Mike said.

"Thank you." Naz said as she pulled it off and placed the ring safely back inside it's box. "But while we clean, we'll keep the ring safe in the box. Last thing I want to do is lose it or it to smell like a Citrus Ocean." She explained.

"Good call." Mike said with a chuckle, as he settled on the couch next to her.

"So, where do you want to start in the house?" she asked him.

"This area and then branch into the bathrooms, main bedroom." Mike said, he couldn't handle the idea of cleaning out the kids' rooms. Luckily, they had time to get there. It didn't need to be faced today.

"Ok. You get the vacuum. I'll start wiping down surfaces." She said delegating the tasks. Mike nodded.

"Ok, but don't overdo it. This is going to take more than one day." He told her.

* * *

An hour and half later, Sasha parked the rental in front of her and Daniel's townhouse. The city streets had been cleaned but from what the people at the airport said, it was just because they needed the cars for spare parts. The city itself was a ghost town. No one lived there, the airport was just a pit stop not the destination it once had been.

"Nice neighbourhood." Azima remarked as they got out of the car.

"Yeah, it was in a great school catchment area and only ten minute drive for Daniel's job." Sasha told her as they walked up the front steps. She gave a sigh as the window on the front door had been smashed in and the door open.

"Trouble?" Azima asked as she pulled a gun from her boot.

"Maybe." Sasha said as she pulled out her own side arm. They may be in America but didn't mean they were safe. She flicked off the safety and pushed the door open with her foot. "There anyone in here?!" she shouted, announcing their presence.

They were greeted with silence. Sasha and Azima walked quietly as they could into the house. Art on the walls were slashed or damaged, vases laid broken on the floor a huge tag painted across the wall. It was depressing to see her house destroyed.

They made their way through the downstairs cleared it and then cleared the upstairs. Even though they were alone, they kept their guns at the ready. Ghosts of the past and experience putting them on the edge.

There was a lot of damage and graffiti to the interior. Any food or drinks that had been here were gone.

A few minutes later, Sasha stood in what used to be her bedroom. It felt strange as it didn't feel like her and Daniel's space. It just felt like a space, there was no ownership. She moved to the wardrobe and found majority of her clothing gone or a mess on the floor.

She gave a sad sigh as she flicked the safety on her gun and holstered it in the back of her pants. She moved to her bedside table and picked up the photo. The glass was broken, shards fell to the floor. There in the frame was a candid shot of her smiling at Daniel. She remembered it was at a friend's wedding. She remembered the joy and the love. She turned the frame over and opened the back pulling the photo out.

"I'll get a box." Azima told her.

"We still have to clear the attic." Sasha told her, she wanted to know the place was entirely empty bar them. She pocketed the photo. Needing the memento of her past, the reminder she had once been happy and she could be again.

"What's up there?" Azima asked her.

"My wedding dress and the safe. We'll salvage what we can and get out of here." She told her. Azima gave a nod and left the room.

* * *

"Ok, toilets are sparkling and smelling lemon fresh. The only Sheets that weren't eaten by moths and silverfish are in the dryer, once they are cooked we can put them on the bed." Naz said, she stopped as she found Mike sitting on the bed in one of the kids' rooms. The room was filled with toys that belonged to a boy, dinosaurs and other animal toys scattered around the room.

Like majority of the house, it looked like a time capsule. Once Mike's family had left for the safe zone, the house had been locked up. Toys, clothing, books and other items sat around the house in a casual manner. Like the people stopped what they were doing and left with the meaning to come back; except they never did.

Mike sat on the bed with his head cradled in his hands. He sat incredibly still, but Naz knew he was stuck in his grief. Too much pain to bear but frozen because if he moved he would shatter.

The main living area was clean as they had divided and conquered as best as they could. Naz was at a serious disadvantage as she was not ambidextrous but it was good to wipe down and rid the house of some bunnies. They only stuck to main rooms leaving the bedrooms until last. They hadn't even talked about what to do with the kids' rooms.

Frankly, Naz was in no rush to tackle them. She didn't feel it was her place and it wasn't like they had to change everything. Let alone change it in one day. She moved to the doorway and looked into what had to be Lucas' room as it was covered in dinosaur paraphernalia.

She wondered if it was better to let him be alone or go to him. She knew how hard it was to lose a spouse. But to lose a child was something she couldn't begin to fathom pain.

She was about to say something to him when a knock sounded at the door.

"I'll get it." She told him as she left him in peace. She went to the door and plastered on a smile as she opened it. "Hello." She said, her smile fell flat into a frown as Tom stood on the other side.

"Hey." Tom said, he held up a paper bag that Naz presumed carried wine. "I come bearing gifts." He added.

"Come in." Naz said, she really wanted to snatch the bag and slam the door in his face. But Tom was just a necessary evil in her life and she had to deal with it, with some grace.

"Thanks, you've gotten settled in quick." Tom remarked.

"Not really, just wiped down a few surfaces." Naz said, her eyes narrowing as she wondered if he was having a go at her. His comment sounded like a barb given she was the 'intruder' in Tom's eyes.

"Tom." Mike said as he came out from Lucas' room.

"Hey, I thought I bring an engagement gift. Darius dropped the bomb on me last Sunday. Congratulations." He told them, Naz took the bag and placed it on the dining table a couple feet away. She pulled out a bottle of Oyster Bay Sauvignon and Spottswoode Vineyard Cabernet Sauvignon.

"I may just forgive you yet." Naz teased as she passed it to Mike. Tom smirked as he appreciated the honesty.

"I figured you'd enjoy a taste of home at some point." Tom remarked.

"Oyster Bay is in New Zealand but it's still good." She informed him, Tom cringed at his faux pas. "Darius the one marrying Andrea?" Naz asked Mike.

"Yes, you'll meet him on Saturday." Mike said as he went to the kitchen and stowed the wine away. "You want a drink, we got some coffee or we can crack open the wine." Mike offered Tom.

"No, I just wanted to stop by and see how you're both settling in." Tom said, Naz and Mike exchanged looks and shrugged.

"It's not too bad. The house stinks like a floral toilet but the smell will pass and it's not as dusty which is an improvement." Mike quipped, Naz smiled. For some reason, Tom felt very much on the outside as he watched the two.

"It looks good. I also came by because I wanted to apologise properly." Tom said looking to Naz.

"For?" Naz asked with a blank expression which made Tom feel like a fool for taking Sasha's advice.

"Nearly killing you, for being suspicious of you. I was putting a lot of my baggage on you. It wasn't fair and I hope we can be friends." Tom said, just laying it out on the table.

"Forgiven." Naz said, she held out her left hand. Tom awkwardly took her hand in his and was surprised by her firm hand shake. Just like that, it was over. A beeping noise sounded in the background and Naz released his hand with a smile. "Oh, sheets are cooked!" She told Mike with excitement.

"I should be on my way. I need to get home and cook dinner for the kids." Tom said making his excuses.

"I'll see you on Saturday, thank you for the wine." She said to Tom. "I'm going to get the sheets while they are toasty." Naz told Mike, she left the men.

"I'll walk you out." Mike said, they two left the house.

"I've never seen anyone excited about warm sheets." Tom quipped awkwardly as he felt a tension between him and Mike.

"Naz likes the simple things." Mike offered with a shrug.

"It's a change from Christine." Tom said, he mentally kicked himself for verbalising a comparison between Mike's wife and current fiancee.

"Thanks for coming around, Naz said it didn't bother her but I think it did. Not many people apologise to her." Mike said ignoring Tom's comment.

"Yeah, it was also time for me to say it. Not just to her but you too." Tom said sincerely.

"It's ok. You already apologised." Mike told him, if he were honest he was tired of Tom saying 'Sorry' as the man barely changed or learned from his mistakes. But Mike held onto the hope that one day Tom would.

"No, I'm sorry about leaving. Don't placate me. Just take my apology for what it is. You deserved better from me back then as a friend." Tom said, after admitting as much he felt an invisible weight lift off him. He had always felt he didn't need to apologise for doing what he needed to do. But he was wrong, it wasn't just about him. It was about Mike and it was also forgiving himself in the larger sense.

"I appreciate it." Mike said with a curt nod before he looked away with a slightly pained expression. Tom knew that look, it was the reflection he saw in the mirror when he was at home; grief.

"How is it going? Settling back in?" Tom asked.

"Harder than I expected." Mike confessed.

"It will get easier with time." Tom assured him, he felt easier in his home with everyday that passed. He sometimes wished he could take down some of his photos with Darien but held back because of his kids. It was easy to donate her clothes and save what he could for the kids because he needed that closure. But his kids still held onto Darien and her memory. He wanted them to have that as she was their mother.

"Yeah, how's the job?" Mike asked.

"It's ok." Tom gave a sigh, "I hate it." He confessed, Mike barked a laugh. "The kids at the college think I'm a celebrity who will sign their textbooks and photographs. Our superiors hate me and Ashley wants to get a full time job instead of go to school. It's shocking to acclimate to but I think I could get used it." He told Mike, the last part didn't feel like a complete lie.

"You have to, but if it helps the Navy is being benched for a while." Mike said.

"Why?" Tom asked.

"We need more warm bodies so we're training the next generation. So, you're not the only teacher in the family." Mike said mockingly.

"Small consolation. You know what's going on with our status at DEFCON 2?" Tom asked.

"Classified." Mike said in a serious manner.

"Really?" Tom asked him incredulously, Mike just gave him a smile and a shrug as if to say 'my hands are tied'.

"Yeah, but if it helps. We can't do anything about it until there's more to go on." Mike said cryptically.

"That doesn't comfort me." Tom told him.

"Then don't think about it." Mike quipped. Tom glowered as that was the worst advice Mike could give him.

"Ok, I'm going now. I'll see you Saturday assuming I'm invited." Tom said as he held out his hand. Mike gave it a firm shake.

"Until then." Mike said, he released his hand and stepped away as Tom hopped into his car. Mike watched his friend drive away and returned to the house.

He walked down the short hallway and turned into the main bedroom; to find Naz buried under the sheets with a serene smile on her face.

"The sheets are so nice and warm." Naz informed him.

"You're filthy and rubbing yourself with our clean sheets." Mike stated with a wry smile on his lips. He pulled on the end of sheet and slowly pulled on it.

"Just a little sweat and lemony lavender ocean smell." She said with a grin.

"Get up, we gotta put them on the bed." Mike told her.

"Fine." Naz grumbled as she pulled herself out of the sheets with a pout.

* * *

"Your husband is a very good looking man." Azima remarked as she looked one of the photos she salvaged from the floor. "Though, I expected him to be more Causasian like Tom." She added.

"His mother was Korean, father Irish American. Yes, my Father-in-law felt the distinction was important." Sasha said with a smile as she remembered the old man's love for Ireland and his Irish roots.

"I bet he loved you. You are an Irish Rose." Azima drawled in amusement, she laughed when Sasha flipped her the bird. Azima wasn't that far off from the truth but she needed Azima to laugh so she wouldn't fall to pieces. It worked s Azima chuckled and Sasha smiled. The ache in throat subsided into a dull ache instead of a hard throb.

"Come on, we should get into the attic and then head back to the base." Sasha told her.

"Ok." Azima said, she followed Sasha down the main corridor until they hit a book case. She frowned wondering why they had stopped until Sasha pulled up the rug and there in the floor was grooves. "You hid a door behind a book case?" She asked in an unsure tone.

"Where else would you protect your wares?" Sasha asked as she shimmy and pulled the book case out wide enough for her to slip behind. Azima stuck her head in the gap and saw the hidden door.

"I don't own anything of worth but if I did. I'd probably hide it like this." Azima said impressed as Sasha opened the door inward.

"It's untouched." Sasha said with satisfaction as she flicked on the lights and walked up the stairs. The attic space was just as she remembered. She moved to the rack and went through the dresses that were vacuum sealed. Every dress that held a perfect and happy memory of a special occasion was there. She pulled out her wedding dress with a soft smile. It was just as beautiful as she remembered.

"It's beautiful." Azima said from behind her.

"It is, and it will look beautiful on Naz." Sasha said as she draped the dress lovingly across her arms.

"Is she really only having a court ceremony?" Azima asked.

"Yes." Sasha replied.

"It's a shame, a dress like that deserves a real show of a wedding." Azima said wistfully.

"It's lucky that it wasn't trashed. What do we have left?" Sasha asked her, the two had discussed Naz's upcoming nuptials to Mike which ensued with a lengthy conversation of how Naz needed a refresh on her wardrobe and hair.

"Naz needs a haircut, we need more make-up, she needs underwear and clothes, bouquet for the ceremony. Most importantly, a hen's night." Azima told her.

"The ceremony has been postponed until Naz gets her ID. So, hens can wait but there's the celebration thing on Saturday." Sasha said.

"Then we should take her shopping on Wednesday and a haircut. Then Saturday, I'll make sure she looks perfect." Azima said confidently as she pulled out her mobile phone and typed into what Sasha assumed was a to-do list.

"You will?" Sasha asked in amusement, as Azima sounded like she was a mix of a personal assistant and big sister.

"Her arm is broken. She needs to look her best. Naz doesn't seem like the kind of girl who knows how to jazz herself up." Azima said in a matter of fact manner.

"Ok, I'll call Mike later and make sure Naz doesn't mind us stealing her away for the day. But try to be kind with her. I do think she has her own sense of style. Low key as it might be." Sasha said, she couldn't help but feel a small zing of excitement at the notion of a girls' day. Anything to pull her out of the despair she was currently swimming in. She was picking up the pieces of her old life and hoarding what she could. She had to wonder if this was really her, but for some strange reason; she found comfort in picking up the pieces.

"Low key? more like non-existent." Azima quipped with a good heart than taking a real dig at Naz.

"We'll just have to wait and see." Sasha replied.


	33. Chapter 33

"Dad!?" Ashley called out, Tom heard Sammy race through the hallway and up the stairs to his room. The faintest of a 'hi' as the boy raced to his room.

"In the kitchen." Tom said as he shook the shaker. He had to admit one great advantage of Soylent. He could make it whenever he wanted and there were half the amount of dishes.

"We're home." Ashley said as she placed a letter on the kitchen island.

"What's that?" Tom asked her.

"I got lunchtime detention for a week for two dress code infractions. I need you to sign the letter acknowledging that you've been made aware of it." She informed him, Tom frowned as he looked at her outfit and didn't understand as she looked fully clothed. She wore a red and black flannel shirt and jeans with the bottoms rolled up. He knew it wasn't fashionable as Ashley told him that her jeans were too short.

"What's wrong with your outfit?" he asked blankly as he placed the shaker down and picked up the letter to read it.

"My ankles are showing and I'm wearing Black and red which apparently are inappropriate colours to wear together." Ashley told him.

"You got to be kidding me." Tom said, but then he read the letter. "You're not. This is insane." He added incredulously as the letter stated that Ashley had to have her ankles covered and that Red and black were sexual colours when worn together.

"Whatever, they changed the dress code while I was gone. Mom would usually stay on top of this and take me shopping with a copy of the dress code to avoid this." Ashley said in a soft tone as she looked more upset than trying to take a chunk out of Tom's ego. She was just pointing out another aspect of their lives that Darien looked after.

She was always the best at keeping on top of everything, Tom had no clue how she did it for 365 days a year, sure he was around for a few of those days but he really hadn't appreciated everything she had given to them. The home and life she had built for them all with love and care.

"I will get a copy of the dress code and we'll go shopping this weekend." He told, Ashley made a face and Tom remembered that she was a teenager and shopping with her Dad for clothes was 'so not cool'.

"Dad, can't Mrs Green take me shopping or like Uncle Mike's girlfriend? She needs clothes, she could really use some help." Ashley told him.

"I could ask either woman or do you have a preference?" Tom asked, not offended that Ashley didn't want him to take her shopping.

"I don't mind and I'm sorry I got into trouble." Ashley told him. Tom signed the letter and passed it back to her.

"It's ok, it's not your fault and this is stupid. There's nothing sexual about red and black being together and ankles are not something you should have to hide." Tom said as he really didn't want Ashley to get any hang ups on her body.

"Except when I'm at school." Ashley said.

"Apparently." Tom said.

"You know it's only 4pm." Ashley said looking at the Soylent shaker.

"I like to be organised." Tom said defensively, Ashley gave him a look like he was the weird one.

"I'm going go upstairs and do my homework." She told him.

* * *

"You know, I was thinking we should crack open one of those wines in celebration. Certainly, would make the Soylent go down better." Naz quipped before she took a reluctant sip of her shake.

"I don't think that wine deserve to be wasted on this. I'll look into some steak and we'll have a small barbecue for two here at home." Mike said, he smiled as he saw the ring on Naz's finger.

It was a mix of old memories of his mother and father mixed with the promise of new happy ones of his own. Sure, they were entering into a platonic marriage with benefits, but he did enjoy her company as they sat on the lounge together.

"Mmm yeah, that definitely sounds better." Naz told him, the home line rang. Mike reached to the phone that sat on table by the couch.

"Slattery residence." He said.

 _"Mike, it's Tom. Am I calling at a bad time?_ " Tom asked on the other end.

"Not exactly, you're saving me from my liquid dinner. What's going on?" Mike replied, he watched Naz wince as she drank her dinner. She wasn't a fan of it but she drank it with very little complaint.

" _Actually, I wish to speak to Naz."_  Tom said.

"For you." Mike said holding out the phone to Naz. She frowned as she took the phone from him.

"Hello?" She said.

" _Naz, it's Tom."_  Tom said.

"Tom, what's going on?" Naz asked, looking to Mike wondering if he knew what was going on.

" _I know I'm pushing the limit but I was wondering if you could do me a favour._ " Tom said.

"Me?" she asked in surprise, "Depends on the favour." she said as she didn't want to agree to something she wasn't willing to commit to.

" _My daughter got caught up in a dress code infraction. She needs new clothes and-_ "

"You want me to take her shopping?" Naz asked, finishing the sentence for Tom as she could hear it was a strain for him. She couldn't blame him, it was an awkward favour to ask a total stranger for.

 _"Yes, I'd pay for everything and drive… I'd pay for a taxi as Ashley's at that stage where I'm not cool but apparently you are_." Tom said with a sigh, Naz smiled as she remembered Ashley's age well.

"Of course, I am." Naz said smugly, as she was saving her sympathy for Ashley.

" _Anyway, could you do it for me?_ " He asked.

"Sure, I can. Saturday morning? I can spare two to three hours but no more." She told him. She would've recommended Sunday but the shops weren't open.

"T _hat works, I'll make sure Ashley has the dress code with her_." Tom told her.

"Ok, I'm handing you back to Mike now." Naz told him, she gave the phone back to Mike as she didn't feel she and Tom had anything further to discuss.

"Hey." Mike said to Tom on the phone. He wore an amused smile as he learnt another thing about Naz. She didn't like talking on the phone past the necessary conversation.

* * *

"Hey, how are you?" Azima asked as she sat down on the couch beside Sasha in the living room.

"Exhausted." Sasha said, she blew out a breath; letting out the tension and pain. Her eyes blurry with tears as she was surrounded by memories of everything. The memories of her and Daniel laughing and happy, the times they had their fights, the times they made up. The love, the tears and laughter. This was not how she expected it all to end, it felt so hollow and unfulfilled.

"You will be happy again." Azima promised her, Sasha said nothing as she leaned her head on Azima's shoulder. She liked to believe that was true, she needed it to be true as she needed something to hold onto.

The two sat there in silence, just taking in the peaceful quiet of the room and the comfortable companionship of their friendship. Sasha just needed to stay there for a little while in silence, to lean on her friend for support before she got to her feet and moved forward.

* * *

Later that night,

"It's huge." Naz told him in frustration.

"It's not that big." Mike assured her.

"I feel like you're in another suburb over there." Naz said, Mike snorted a laugh as it was their first night in his bed, in his home. His king size bed. It was something he and Christine had argued for months about as he wanted extra space given the kids were always piling in their bed when they were younger. Christine thought it was creating unnecessary distance.

In her defense, she had been three months pregnant with Lucas and struggling with her emotions and morning sickness. So, Mike had to try and explain an extra 30cm to the width of the bed would be a luxury for them to share. Not about putting a wall between them.

It turned out he was right for both the wrong and right reasons. The added space allowed them to share the bed when things were hostile during the rough patches of their marriage. Then happier memories of two kids piled in, then three kids. The Mother's Day breakfast in bed, scramble of Christmas mornings. The quieter moments of him and Christine enjoying the times when the kids were away at Grandma's.

"It's not that bad." Mike told her, a smile on his lips. She couldn't see it as they laid in the pitch black. Those 30 centimetres of space between them. It felt like a great chasm between them because as much as he wanted to pull her close. He held back.

"I have to admit, I don't know what to do with myself with all this extra length. I'm used to my feet hanging over the edge. My comfort position is to sleep on my belly with my feet hooked over the edge." Naz told him, Mike laughed as he knew it was true. He remembered seeing her sleep in that position on his bed on the ship. Blankets over her half her face with her feet sticking out.

"Not much of a spooner?" he joked, the sexual innuendo was flying and not helping him relax to go to sleep.

"Depends on the temperature. Does it snow here?" Naz asked him.

"Yeah." Mike answered glad that Naz wasn't snoring yet and respecting his need for distance. He just felt like it would be wrong to be sexual or physical when they were surrounded by Christine's things.

"Then I can promise you, that you will find me clinging onto you in the cold mornings. I have physically cold feet, consider yourself warned." She told him.

"I will but it shouldn't be a problem as we have central heating." Mike assured her.

"It won't be enough. I'm a total sook in cold weather." Naz informed him.

"Sook?" Mike asked in confusion.

"Cry baby? Complaining pathetically." She offered as definitions.

"Ah." Mike said as he understood.

"Yeah, don't be such a sookie lah lah." She said, using it in a sentence.

"You're definitely speaking another language." Mike said with a laugh.

"Your education is just beginning my friend." Naz drawled mockingly.

"As is yours. Have you started reading the constitution?" Mike asked her.

"You know Australian Constitution is longer than the American Constitution." Naz said smugly.

"Size isn't everything." Mike told her mockingly.

"That's what people say when they have tiny constitutions." Naz said, Mike laughed and cringed at the same time from the innuendo.

"It doesn't matter, US Constitution is better because it's the perfect size." Mike assured her, he could hear her smile in the dark.

"I'm reserving judgement until after I finished reading it. I'm only halfway through. So, don't even think of spoiling the ending." Naz told him, Mike snorted a laugh.

"I won't." he assured her.

"So, tomorrow we are doing what again?" she asked as she changed the topic.

"I think we start with this room. Get you some wardrobe space. We'll box Christine's things and donate it." Mike said.

"You sure you're ready for that?" Naz asked in a soft manner, he knew if he said he wasn't. She'd let him keep the house like a well cleaned time capsule but he couldn't do that; not to her or himself.

"Yes, it's time to let go of things. Start small with this room and you won't fit Christine's clothing." Mike said, a knot forming in his throat as he knew it was rude but he also couldn't stand the idea of Naz wearing anything of Christine's. It felt wrong.

"She looks shorter than me which means we're definitely got different dimensions going on, and I'll be honest, her style isn't mine." Naz said, Mike felt relieved to hear that. He wanted different, he didn't want Christine 2.0 nor to be haunted by Christine in the smaller details.

"We'll paint the walls." Mike said trying to be as pragmatic as he could.

"How daring can we go?" Naz asked.

"Has to be light as one day we may have to move and the Navy repaints it back to white." Mike told her.

"How about the lightest shade of grey on the walls." Naz suggested, it was the complete opposite of what was currently on the walls which was a warm cream colour. "It'll work with the white ceiling, curtains and the bed frame. Then buy a new comforter cover, something dark or colourful." She added.

"Ok, sounds good." Mike said, as he tried to wrap his head around the minor changes and get used to the idea of truly letting go. It was one thing to say it, but to do it would be the real test.

"We should probably get some sleep as we'll need our energy to have a lively discussion over paint swatches." Naz said with a yawn.

"Ok, see you in the morning." Mike said and he immediately cringed at how lame he sounded.

"Hmm, yep. Sleep well." She said, she gave a yawn and he felt her shift in the bed. He frowned as it felt like she had shuffled herself down the bed. The blanket definitely lifted up. He knew she was hooking the top of feet over the edge of the bed. It weirdly pleased and relaxed him as she was clearly comfortable with him. He closed his eyes and silently willed himself to sleep.

* * *

The following morning, Mike woke to the sound of birds chirping outside and the light streaming through the curtains. He frowned as he became aware of a small and warm wet patch on his chest, he felt the warm weight of Naz sprawled across him. She hugged him as she lightly snored. He rubbed her back and smiled as it was adorable. Naz snuggled deeper into him, but at least the snoring stopped if only for a few seconds.

Mike looked over at the clock on his bedside and noted it was sadly time to get up as his stomach grumbled for food.

"Hmm, what's going on?" Naz asked as she woke to him moving around.

"Nothing, just 8am." Mike said.

"Ok." Naz said sleepily, she gave a yawn and scrunched her eyes closed like she didn't want to be awake.

"Good morning to you too." He said with a chuckle.

"It won't be for another hour." She grumbled before she buried herself under the blankets. Mike smiled as it appeared Naz wasn't a morning person like he believed on the ship. Something he could appreciate given he wanted to stay in bed and sleep but his internal clock and stomach wouldn't let him be.

He left the bedroom and moved into the kitchen and made himself a cup of coffee. He allowed himself the small indulgence as he was on holidays and he just wanted a damn cup of coffee. He looked around the room, enjoying the aroma of coffee as it filled the room.

This was the first morning in his home without his family. It hurt but then he wasn't alone as he had Naz. It seemed to soothe the pain within him. He looked at the family pictures scattered around the living area and kitchen. He wondered what he was going to do with them when a knock sounded at the door.

He moved to the front door and pulled it open surprised to find a woman in her early sixties holding a heavy box of what looked to be fresh produce and jars of more food.

"Captain Slattery?" she presumed.

"Yes, may I help you?" he asked as he reached for the box. The woman smiled and literally dumped the box into his arms. He was surprise that she could carry such a heavy load.

"Yes, that is for you." She said warmly.

"Thank you." Mike said as he kept the door open and moved to the dining table and placed it down. He moved back to the door where the woman still stood. "I'm sorry, have we met?" he asked her, knowing they hadn't but he didn't want to be rude.

"No, I'm Vivian Dunmore. I live next door with my daughter, husband and the little ones." Vivian said as she stood out on the front porch. Mike would've offered to welcome her in but he saw the two kids on his front lawn and presumed they were the 'little ones'. He smiled as one liked around two maybe three years old while the other was still a baby.

"Pleasure to meet you, I'd invite you in but my fiancée is still asleep." Mike said as he stepped out onto the front porch with her, half closing the door behind him.

"Oh, how lovely. Congratulations." Vivian said with warm enthusiasm.

"Thank you." He said.

"I was worried about your home being given to new people. But now I know you're getting married, I guess you're staying?" Vivian asked him.

"We are." Mike assured her, Vivian looked relieved.

"I'm a little selfish but I'm too old for so many changes and my husband Henry needs his garden which is partially yours." Vivian told him with a warm smile.

"I assume the produce is from it?" Mike asked.

"Yes, and we've storing a lot food for you as it's your share. It's mostly pickled vegetables, preserves or chutneys." She informed him.

"You didn't have too." Mike said.

"Of course we did, it's all fair given your generosity has kept us fairly well fed. Don't even think of arguing with an old woman, just take your share and not tell the base commander or his wife." she told in a low conspiratorial tone.

"They give you trouble?" Mike asked wryly.

"Not too much but Candace is something else. Keep an eye on your heinie." She told him, Mike blinked blankly at the warning. He vaguely remembered the base commander's wife.

"Your grandkids I presume?" he asked her, gesturing to a couple kids who were romping around on the front yard.

"Yes, that Cody and Abigail. Cody is four and Abigail is nine months old. Great ages as they are too young to know what they have survived." Vivian said with a soft smile.

"Very true." Mike said, he remembered when his kids were their age.

"I envy them but I do think children are the best. They remind us what life is all about and that there is still joy to be had." Vivian told him, Mike couldn't help but agree as he remembered how much his world was redefined when he held his daughter for the first time. "Will you be having more children?" she asked him.

"We're keeping our options open." Mike said in a noncommittal manner. Vivian smiled in a knowing manner.

"Well, that is your business." She said, much to Mike's relief she didn't pry any further.

"So, your daughter is in the Navy?" Mike asked changing the topic.

"Yes, Lt Commander Jessica Blake. We're so proud of her, it was hard when her husband was killed in action. He served on the Shackleton, they never explained why he and his ship were out there." Vivian said with a frown.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Mike said, not taking the bait the woman laid out. He wasn't allowed to divulge anything about the Shackleton or Hayward. Vivian knew that.

"Well, death is sadly a part of life. My husband and I came to live with my daughter to help with the kids. You'll see him pottering around the backyard from time to time. Don't worry if he's rude. He just isn't good with people." Vivian told him.

"He and I have that in common." Mike quipped.

"Tosh, you seem fine to me" Vivian told him, Cody toddled over to them with his hands pressed into a fist. "Hello Cody, what you got there?" Vivian asked her grandson. The little boy moved to Mike with his fist and held it out to Mike.

"Is that for me?" Mike asked as he crouched down, the boy nodded. Mike held out his palm and accepted a handful of squished grass and weed flower from Cody. "Thank you." Mike said sincerely, the kid gave him a toothy grin and went back to his sister.

"All my husband's hard work." Vivian said mockingly in an aggrieved manner as Cody started ripping up some more of the lawn for no appreciable reason.

"Lawn is only good for kids to play on." Mike said with a closed lip smile. He really didn't care about grass. He was just happy it wasn't up to his waist.

"You're a good sport." Vivian told him.

"I used to have three of my own before the pandemic." Mike said to her.

"I'm sorry, I lost two of my own to the pandemic." She said, revealing that she understood his pain and shared it in her own way.

"It's ok, either way, thank you for the food but I should get back inside to my fiancée." He said.

"Of course, I look forward to seeing her and you around." She told him.

"You too." Vivian said, Mike walked back up the front porch and slipped back into the house. He stopped as he found Naz standing in the kitchen dress in yoga pants and her well worn chambray shirt. Her hair was a mess and she looked good even if she was bedraggled and drinking his coffee.

"You're drinking my coffee." Mike said, his brain a little frazzled as he wondered what it would be like to be in a real relationship with her. To have the option of children. That begged the question of if he wanted more kids.

"Sorry, I took just one sip." Naz said with an apologetic smile as she placed the coffee down; offering it back to him.

"Keep it." Mike said. Naz shook her head and picked up the cup. This time she held it out for him to take.

"No, I'm good. It was enough for me." She assured him.

"Ok." Mike said taking the cup. He knew better than to ask her if she was sure as he wanted the coffee.

"So, plans for today." Naz asked as she got herself a glass of water. Mike took a sip of his coffee, basking in the glory of caffeine and strong aroma.

"Hardware store, Bed, bath and beyond. Given Sasha and Azima will take you clothing shopping on Wednesday. I'll have to get you some cash for that." He said, making a mental note to get out enough cash for her to cover her expenses.

"Ok, but I gotta admit it will be a little weird. I'm used to being more self-sufficient in the money department." She said, as they both knew he was paying for it all.

"Well, you'll just have to get used to it until your bank account is opened here." Mike said in a pragmatic manner. He couldn't see her draining him of his riches.

"So, you're my Sugar Daddy." Naz drawled with a smile.

"Don't call me that." Mike told her.

* * *

"I'm looking over the dress code for girls for your school. I'm struggling to see what my daughter can wear." Tom said to the deputy principle of Ashley's school on the phone. It was his morning break, so he had time to burn on what he felt was important. Finally, his fame opened a door he needed to exploit.

" _It's the same as it always is. This dress code is to teach students to express themselves in a respectable fashion_." Deputy Principal told him. He had a tone that said he was too busy for what he perceived to be Tom's pettiness. One Tom felt was reserved for parents who complained too much.

"Look, I can respect that. But my daughter is in detention because your letter said her outfit was disrespectful." He told the man.

" _I don't need to explain how young boys are_." Deputy Principal George Wallace told him.

"If the boys are the problem then maybe they should be taught to behave more appropriately." Tom argued.

" _That is like teaching a bull to tap dance._ " George told him.

"I'm not sure if I should feel offended for the boys or the student body in general. But that's your problem, not mine. Now, what I'm trying to find out is what can my daughter wear without getting detention again." Tom said, he wondered where his gift to charm and schmooze people went as he needed that skill right now.

" _The list_ -"

"Is contradictory and subjective. It says a skirt can't be more than three fingers above the knee. Whose fingers are measuring the hem distance? Also, if she can't show her ankles, how can she wear a skirt? Boat necklines are favourable but three lines down it says you can't show your clavicles." Tom said as he read straight from the list.

 _"If you have a formal complaint then put it in writing and bring it to the PTA meeting this week_." He told Tom.

"When is that meeting?" Tom asked him, the man unwittingly starting something he wasn't ready for. As Tom had a new mission; to civilise the public school dress code.

" _7pm Thursday._ " George said.

"I'll be there." Tom said, he hung up the phone and looked at the three page document of dos and don'ts of the school dress code. He was going to file a complaint and propose a new dress code. He then realised, he needed to do a background on the school's PTA and find allies.

* * *

That afternoon,

"I think we need lunch." Sasha said as she and Azima packed the last box into the back of the car. She had taken out the most essential and precious items leftover in the house. Three boxes of it. There were another four that would go into storage until Sasha was ready to let go of it for good. But for now, they had done what they could and Sasha really wanted to go back to Norfolk and sleep.

She could do that as she and Azima had boarded up the broken front door windows, changed the locks and taken anything of value out of the property. She wasn't sure if it would make a difference if someone wanted to rob the place or squat in it. But it did give Sasha a mild sense of security when she left the house.

"I say we buy real American food." Azima told her.

"I could definitely go for a burger and fries but we'll see what we can get." Sasha said, she wasn't holding out much hope for a proper meal but one could dream.

* * *

"Can't I just wait outside for you to come get me when you need the credit card?" Mike asked Naz as she dragged him into the seventh circle of hell known as 'Bed, Bath and Beyond'. He was used to being left out at the supplied seating for men who felt a root canal was more less painful than a visit to the mall.

"Seriously?" Naz asked with a smile as she stood in front of a wall of bed duvet covers. Mike leaned on the trolley that had new sheets, a few pillows not just for their bed but for the couch among other odds and ends.

He couldn't argue against any of the purchases as moths and silverfish had gotten into the laundry cupboard munching holes through nearly all the bed sheets and towels. The pillows were just on the bases that all the current ones were really depressed and unrecoverable.

"What is so funny?" He asked as she looked at him with an amused smile.

"You look so tortured to be here. It's a shop, not a kill box." She told him in a low voice. "So stop sweating bullets and help me with this as, it's our house and our bed. We have to choose these things together." Naz informed him, Mike was about to say Christine never asked him for input but felt it was wrong to compare circumstances. He also didn't want to make a habit of making comparisons either.

"I chose my pillow. You choose this one." Mike told her, deciding to be obstinate about it.

"No, we choose together." She said, she starting waving her left hand slowly over the different options, her engagement ring glittering in the fluorescent lighting.

"Why are you doing that?" he asked as she was watching him as she did her weird hand waving of the wall.

"I'm trying to see which one you like best." She told him as she moved her hand slowly from one option to the next. Mike frowned as he was watching her more than the options.

"I like the one that gets us out of here the fastest." Mike deadpanned, Naz laughed as she pulled out a Navy blue and cream crosshatch patterned cover set.

"This one? Honest answer." She said as she showed it to him.

"I don't care." Mike assured her, she gave him a droll look.

"Really?" She asked him, Mike huffed a sigh as he caved to her want of his opinion.

"It's better than the last one you tried to pick up. The one with the birds." He said, Naz smiled as she placed it into the trolley.

"Ok, but we need the mustard yellow throw blanket to go with it." Naz told him.

"Why?" He asked as she pulled him further into the store, he didn't want to know what 'beyond' part meant in shop's name.

"Because at some point you're going to get sick or drunk and be too tired to crawl under the blankets. I have no muscles yet to entertain the idea of moving you, so the throw blanket will keep you warm." She told him.

"That's is terrible logic." Mike told her, not bothering to argue as he couldn't count on any of those scenarios not happening.

"But it could happen. I also like throw blankets." Naz said as she went over to where the throw blankets were and pulled out a mustard yellow blanket. She smiled serenely as she ran her hands over it before she placed it into the trolley.

"Anything else?" Mike asked.

"Nope, all good unless you want that pineapple lamp." She said pointing to the large lamp that was on a display by his shoulder.

"No, I'm good." Mike said.

"See, 10 minutes in and we're out." Naz said with a joy that was a little infectious given she liked commando shopping of going in and getting out with just the necessities.

"Ok, pharmacy and then paint shop." Mike told her.

"You ok?" Naz asked in concern.

"Yeah, you should know that I'm old and I ache-"

"For me." Naz teased.

"With every fiber of my tired and sore being." Mike added, he smiled as Naz laughed. For what felt like the first time in months was a truly carefree and innocuous moment happen. It felt good to be in the position to actually enjoy it without the weight of larger problems pressing on him.

* * *

"I'm enjoying this but at the same time feel nauseated." Sasha said with a frown.

"You'll get past it." Azima assured her.

They drank moonshine in one hand and soylent in the other. Both were warm and while the moonshine made Sasha feel pleasantly fuzzy, the soylent made her wonder if she got to the vomit stage if it would taste the same coming up as it did going down.

"Would've preferred a burger and fries." Sasha said, she frowned in slight disgust as Azima poured her moonshine into her cup of soylent and stirred it up.

"Dream big, little one." Azima said, the two couldn't help but laugh as the booze went straight to their heads. Once the laughter subsided, Azima's expression turned curious. "Do you think you'll go see that exhibit of Captain Tom and Naz?" she asked Sasha.

"Don't know." Sasha said honestly.

"Aren't you curious?" Azima asked.

"Naz and Tom don't want anything to do with it. I can't say I'm interested in seeing how the world went to hell during the pandemic and war. I saw enough of it to last a lifetime. I just want to ignore the pain and suffering of others just in this regard." Sasha told her.

"I can understand that, but the photos of Naz and Captain Tom look so impressive. It's like seeing a side of them that we've never known. I honestly think, if they both got together and saw that they suffered the same, then they could be friends." Azima remarked.

"They suffered through their losses very differently. The reasons they don't get along is between them. But I told Tom to sort out his shit with her because it's not fair to Mike." Sasha said, she hoped Tom did as she advised as she felt they all needed to get past their pain and move forward. To get to a place where they could be happy.

"Hmm, they make a cute couple." Azima said.

"Naz and Tom?" Sasha asked in disbelief.

"Captain Slattery and Naz." Azima said, rolling her eyes at Sasha as they were deep into their cups. "I think they love each other very much. I wish they would have a big celebration where we could all be there."

"To get drunk and throw confetti at them?" Sasha asked with chuckle.

"Yes, we can't celebrate our other successes loudly, but a wedding? we can do that loudly and proudly." Azima said with grin, . "I think I will tell them to have a bigger wedding." Azima added.

"Good luck." Sasha told her. She rose her glass and Azima clinked her own in a cheers to the idea. They both took a sip.

"I'm going to need a long nap after this." Azima informed her, Sasha snorted a drunk giggle.


	34. Chapter 34

A few hours later,

"I like this colour." Naz told Mike as they looked at the main bedroom. All the furniture Mike couldn't move out the room on his own was pushed away from the wall and covered with drop sheets. He'd spent majority of the morning putting on the first coat and had just finished the second coat when Naz came in. She had spent her time asleep with the TV on.

He was not complaining as he liked having the noise in the house and Naz needed the rest. It was easy for both of them to forget that they weren't in the best shape. But Mike preferred to persevere through his exhaustion and sleep at night. Honestly, with her broken arm; there wasn't much she could do.

"Yes, it's a good choice." Mike said in agreement as the colour was an incredibly light shade of grey that gave the room a rather relaxed and cool tone. It was definitely a change, one he liked.

"Wait until we set up the bed. It will feel like a different room." She assured him.

"It already does." Mike said, he felt Naz's arms circle around his waist. He looked to her, wondering what was up but also realising they did have to work on their intimacy as a couple.

"Good?" she asked in a more serious manner.

"Yeah, I'm good." He replied, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. It felt good to have that sense of normalcy and to be held. They stood like that for a moment before Naz spoke up.

"Soylent or real food for dinner?" she asked.

"Real food." Mike said, he didn't want the fresh food from the garden to go to waste.

"Done, I'll get it started on it." Naz said.

* * *

It was well after midnight when Sasha pushed open the door to her designated BOQ. She hefted in her suitcase of clothes and closed the door behind her with a sigh. She was 'home' or as close as she'd get to it in Norfolk.

She'd start looking into apartments on Thursday but for now she needed sleep. She opened her suitcase and pulled out the suits and clothing she had salvaged from Washington and quickly put them into the closet. They would need to dry cleaned but there was no reason to let the wrinkles get worse. Her wedding gown deserved to be hung up properly.

She sorted the clothes out quickly in the small closet and pulled out her wedding dress. She smiled softly at the dress before she placed it back into it's protector bag and reverently returned it to the closet.

She then moved to the bed and flopped down with a tired sigh; hoping sleep wasn't too far away.

* * *

Mike woke up with Naz plastered to his side, his arm slung around her shoulders and their legs intertwined. There was something about it that was genuinely pleasurable for him to have her wrapped around him. He sleepily turned his head and looked to his bedside table for the time when he remembered they were in the lounge room on a blow-up mattress.

Their bedroom had still been a little strong with paint odour. So, they slept in the lounge room. It hadn't been too bad except the double bed mattress where their feet hung over the edge and squeaked whenever one of them moved.

"Why are you awake?" Naz mumbled sleepily.

"My internal alarm clock doesn't take a holiday. I'm going to start some coffee and go for a run." Mike informed her with a wry smile as Naz squeezed her arms around him, as if locking him in.

"We could exercise right here." Naz suggested salaciously, her hand trailed up his chest. Mike shifted and grabbed Naz's leg, hitching it higher on his hip. But just the movement made the mattress bounce and squeak in a comical manner.

"That turn you on?" he asked her, a grin on his lips. He was trying not to laugh as naughty imagery mixed with the comedy of rubber noises was more hysterical than a turn on. "The idea of all that rubber ducky noises and the threat of popping this thing?" he asked.

"Yes, I like to live dangerously." Naz deadpanned, Mike laughed first before she joined him but before she back up her claim a knock sounded at the door. "I'll get it." She groaned in annoyance, she rolled off of him and laughing at the horrible sounds of the air mattress as she got to her feet.

Mike watched as she quickly adjusted her singlet top and his boxers. It was a pretty good sight to have in the morning. The early visitor? Not so much which prompted him to get up. He rolled out of bed as it was the only way to get out of it with any grace. He got to his feet just as the door opened.

"Good Morning." Sasha said as she came into the house unbidden, she was dressed in jeans, white converse low tops and navy striped shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. In one hand she carried what looked like breakfast.

"Come in, make yourself at home." Mike deadpanned, Sasha didn't mind him at all. Mike headed to his and Naz's bedroom to get changed into proper clothes.

"I brought coffee and gluten free pastries as they were cheaper than their gluten counterparts." Sasha said, she made a face as it didn't seem right to her. But then the world was topsy turvy.

"I don't care as it smells good." Naz said as she went straight for the food and smiled at the options before her. "Thank you, though I'm not sure how I feel about the early hour." She added as she grabbed a plate and placed all the pastries on it before they moved to the table for a proper sit down.

"Did I interrupt something?" Sasha asked as soon as Mike's door closed. She looked to the messy bed on the floor and then back at Naz.

"Mike painted the bedroom. It was a little fumy to sleep in, so air mattress. How was Washington?" Naz asked her as she pulled out a muffin and bit into it.

"It was ok, I got what I needed from it and I'm back." Sasha said, Naz gave a nod.

"For good?" Mike asked as he came out dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He picked up a coffee and sat down next to Naz.

"I may need to go out there again and I have to decide what to do with the property and what was left but it's nothing urgent." Sasha said which was true. She'd found what she was looking for. Maybe it wasn't closure but there was a certain level of peace that seemed to settle her anxiousness.

"Probably easier to hold onto it." Naz said before she grabbed one of the coffees and took a sip.

"Most likely, so the wedding has been delayed?" Sasha asked changing the topic.

"Until I have my photo ID which will be sometime in the next two weeks." Naz said.

"I have my wedding dress, it was still there. So it's all yours to borrow." Sasha informed her.

"Oh, I'm so happy for you and yes, I would be very grateful to borrow it." Naz replied.

"Good, I'm sure it will fit as we're both the same height and same shape. Sort of." Sasha said as kindly as she could as she looked Naz over. "Now, plan for today is shopping for clothing, make up and we got hair dressers appointment." Sasha said moving straight onto the day's plan.

"It's only 6:30am." Naz said.

"We have a hairdresser's appointment at 7:30." Sasha told her.

"What hairdresser is open at that time?" Naz asked incredulously.

"Ours, so you'll need to get dressed and do what you gotta do in the next half an hour." Sasha told her.

"Ok, then I still have 15 minutes to enjoy my breakfast." Naz said.

* * *

Three hours later,

"I'm think I'm allergic to waxing." Naz grumbled as she looked down at her poor legs which were still red and bumpy from this morning's beauty session. She highly doubted Mike cared if she was hairy or not, but she did it anyway for the party. She wanted to appear well put together and a good partner for Mike. Perception was everything, she understood the game well.

"You didn't even get waxed properly. Bikini lines is a waste of time." Azima told her, from outside the change room Naz was in.

"Look, I went from Russia to Tasmania. It's enough, and just for the record; I'm never getting a Brazilian as God gave me butt hair for a reason and I'm keeping it." Naz told them in a low voice as she stepped out of the change room in a olive green v-neck jumpsuit.

Sasha pressed her lips together as she tried not to laugh out loud while Azima looked a little confused.

"Russia to Tasmania?" Azima asked with a frown.

"It's the shapes." Sasha said, she used her fingers to make the shapes near her own crotch so Azima understood. Azima's expression changed to one of understanding.

"I like Brazilians, both the people and pubic hairstyle." Azima said confidently, the sales person who was clearing a rack of discarded items looked their way with an odd look; before disappearing. It wasn't new, maybe Naz was more self conscious of the looks today than she was yesterday due to her recently found eyebrows and haircut.

"How about this?" Naz asked as she gestured to her jumpsuit.

"No, you have to wear a dress to the barbecue." Sasha told her.

"It's why you had your legs waxed. Men are delicate creatures who can't handle hairy legs other than their own." Azima told her.

"I did it for me, not the men as. I just wanted to feel more like my older self who maintained a little better." Naz said awkwardly as she returned to the dressing room and quickly changed into the next outfit.

She didn't know how to explain why she felt better for having smooth legs, two eyebrows and her hair about 5 inches shorter. But it did. Cutting off her long hair so it sat just a couple inches below her collar bones, she had layers and a long fringe. It was pretty close to how she used to wear her hair pre-pandemic days. She felt better for all of the maintenance even if her body felt a little tortured for it.

"First step to feeling good is looking good." Sasha said, Naz came out the dressing room with the next outfit which was a white shirt tucked into a red and white stripe A-line skirt that fell below the knees.

"True, how about this?" Naz asked.

"Too Stepford wife." Sasha said.

"White t-shirt and navy long line cardi?" Naz asked as if she could dress it down to be more casual.

"Too American flag." Azima told her. Naz frowned as she didn't see it and the women seemed impossible to please.

"This is frustrating." Naz said as it was the fifth outfit to be shot down. She originally wanted to wear a cream dress with a floral print with a long line grey cardi and a cute pastel three colour belt. But it got shot down as 'boring'. Frankly, Naz wanted to blend in with the crowd, not stand out.

"You're going to be Mike's partner. You gotta match his persona and the lifestyle he wants to attain." Sasha told her.

"I'm pretty sure his persona likes to keep my ass completely covered and my tits tucked safely out of sight. The rest is negligible." Naz said as she pulled on the top for her last outfit. It was ¾ sleeve crop top in navy with a crew neck line and a waist high, midi skirt in a grey with navy polka dots.

"You look like a French goddess." Azima told her.

"I'm not even remotely French." Naz told her.

"It's beautiful." Sasha said with a smile. "It's still sedate but of a peek a boo in the best way." She added.

"Not easy on the access." Azima said with slight disapproval as she tugged on the skirt.

"Why do you care about access to my lady parts and my sex life?" Naz asked Azima.

"Someone has to." Azima told her.

"I still like the first option." Naz said to them.

"It's a little dated, this is more timeless and you can pair the crop top with those ugly cotton dungarees you like so much." Sasha told her, as if it would convince Naz to buy it.

"The overalls looks cute on me. I need a gardening outfit." Naz said defensively.

"You don't garden." Sasha told her.

"I might one day." Naz argued with a smile. It was true, Naz wouldn't garden unless she had to.

"They make you look like you've given up on life." Azima told her. Sasha nodded in agreement.

"Maybe I prefer comfort over style." Naz told them as she went back into the change room to try on another option.

"You can put it over dresses as an extra layer and you can pair this cute skirt with the white shirt, a singlet in summer. So, there's multiple wear options." Sasha said.

"Ok, I hear you but I still wish I could wear jeans and t-shirt. It's just a barbecue." Naz grumbled.

* * *

Mike taped up the box and gave a sigh as it was the last of Christine's clothing. He remembered moving house being faster than this. But this was different as these boxes wouldn't be opened up by him. They were going to charity when he was ready to truly give it all away.

He knew it was stupid to be so attached to the inane objects but just brought home that she was gone. She was not coming back, it was ok. He would be ok. At least he told himself that. He wished Naz was here as she had a way of making this seem completely normal and easy to do yet at the same time make him feel good about it all.

Right now, he felt a little hollow. He felt stupid for struggling through his grief. He looked around knowing exactly what had to go. Yet, he couldn't take down the photos from the main hallway. He couldn't even think about packing up the kids' rooms. He went into Lucas' room and he just ached, he didn't want anything to change. He didn't want to wipe the room clean as it felt like he was destroying what little remained of them.

He set the tape aside and picked up the box. Wincing as his side pinched from the movement but he didn't stop as he carried the box to the garage.

* * *

"What's eating you?" Sarah asked Tom as she sat across the table from him in the teacher's lounge. Sarah taught three language classes and while she never served in the military. Her language and teaching skills were required.

"High school dress codes." Tom said, she quirked an eyebrow. "My daughter. My wife usually took her shopping and well it's on me. I didn't take into account she'd need more than just books and pens." he explained.

"Ah, well I don't have that problem as my son is only 5." Sarah said with a smile. She was happily married to a NCO who helped run basic training on the base.

"You won't have that problem as boy's dress code is considerably unrestricted in comparison. Just keep his hair short and fully clothed." Tom told her.

"He has his hair short to look like his Daddy. So no concerns there." Sarah said with a laugh.

"Lucky, my son need a haircut." Tom remarked as he mentally added it to his list of 'to-dos'.

"You're not getting revved up to fight this are you?" Sarah asked him gesturing to the list.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because asking the schooling system change is like asking a leopard to change it's spot." Sarah told him.

"This is ridiculous." he told her.

"Yes, and how many ridiculous rules does the Navy have?" She asked in that female way women had when they were showing a man patience for their ignorance.

"None." Tom said defensively.

"You can't walk on grass unless you're mowing it. ORM for pick up basketball games?" She questioned, Tom made a face.

"Basketball on the flight deck of a ship carries risks and they have to documented as well as mitigated." Tom told her defensively. She just smiled as he knew he lost the argument before it began.

* * *

"Hey," Naz said, as Mike meet her and Sasha on the driveway. He gave her a brief kiss 'hello' on the lips before he took the bags from her. It was funny, how natural it felt to them even though they hadn't really been physical as much as everyone believed.

"How did it go?" he asked he half expected another ten shopping bags to appear but it was only the five.

"Just the five bags. Naz was extremely frugal much to Azima and my frustration." Sasha told him.

"Just the necessities, I'll worry about fashion later." Naz said with a wry smile.

"You and Naz are like peas in a pod." Sasha told Mike as she closed the car boot.

"Come in and have a drink." Naz said to her.

"No, I gotta head off. I have things to do. But we're on for Saturday." Sasha told her, Naz nodded as she was grateful that Sasha was happy to join her in helping Ashley shop for appropriate clothes. While Naz was confident she could do the job, she felt a second opinion wouldn't hurt.

"Sure are, we can go crazy with Tom's money." Naz replied, Sasha gave a laugh before she said her goodbyes and jumped into her car. Mike and Naz watched her drive away before they headed inside.

"How does one be extremely frugal?" Mike asked Naz out of curiosity.

"I only bought basics and a couple investment pieces. Azima likes buy trendy things and Sasha likes expensive things." Naz said with a smile.

"So you were in Old Navy all day?" Mike asked out of amusement.

"No, H&M and a couple other mid range shops. I didn't spend all the money you gave me. But you can relax as I'll still be well dressed on Saturday." Naz assured him as they went inside the house.

"I'm not concerned. I just want you fully clothed and preferably showered." Mike told her.

"I can do both." Naz assured him, before she gave a yawn. "Excuse me, shopping is exhausting. How was your day?" she asked him.

"It was fine." Mike said, he was content to leave it at that, then delve into how emotionally exhausting it all was. Naz seemed to sense his need for privacy as she picked up one of the bags and changed the topic.

"Good, I got you a little something given I missed your birthday." She said as she placed a bag up on the counter in front of him. She wore a smile that left Mike more than a little nervous.

"By a few months. Not that it matters given it was before we met." Mike said with a awkward smile as he was not one for gifts. He frankly couldn't remember the last time he got a present for his birthday.

"You can brutal, if you don't like it. We can take it back. I have the receipts. Just ignore the price if you like it." She assured him, Mike opened the bag with a suspicious frown and lifted out the folded jumper wrapped in tissue paper.

He mentally prepared himself for some kind of ugly sweater cardigan situation but instead he was looking at a slate blue shawl collar sweater with epaulets on the shoulders. It wasn't something he'd consider for himself but it was a good present as it felt soft to the touch and wasn't too heavy. It looked the right size.

"I like it." He said, she grinned clearly reading more into his words than he had intended but he liked seeing her happy.

"I'm glad, did I get the right size?" She asked.

"Yeah," Mike said, he did see the price and wondered what kind of marriage she lived in that a $60 sweater was considered extravagant. He thought it was good value but remained silent and didn't mention the price as he didn't want Naz to get upset. "You want me to try it on?" he asked her.

"You don't have to do a fashion show for me." Naz assured him, Mike said nothing as he pulled off the sweater he had on and pulled on the new one. He was quietly impressed at the jumper as the fit was near perfect and very comfortable.

"How does it look?" he asked her.

"Really good, especially with that shirt." Naz said with a dreamy smile. Mike couldn't help but snort a laugh but also blush as he had forgotten what it was like to be appreciated on a physical level.

"Ok, come on. I want to show you something." He said as he pulled the jumper off and placed it on the kitchen counter. He didn't miss Naz pulling the price tag off the jumper before following him to their bedroom.

"What is it you want to show me?" Naz asked him.

"Just open the door." Mike said.

"Ok." Naz said, she tuned the handle and opened the door. Mike watched as her face lit up at the room. It wasn't like much had changed but it was enough. "Oh wow, it looks amazing." Naz said to him as she stepped into the room.

"It's our space now, the right half of the closet is yours." Mike said as he moved to show her the empty space. He'd gone through his side of the wardrobe and moved his things to what had been Christine's side. Everything was switched around, it felt good to have it that way.

"I doubt I'll need all that space." Naz said as she went to wardrobe and moved some of his clothes across the rack; giving his clothes some more breathing room. "There, better." She said before she turned to him.

"You like everything in near perfect halves." Mike noted, everyday he felt like he and Naz had opposite experiences of marriage and relationships. She worried about spending too much money, or spending it just right. Everything had to be halves or shared evenly. While he was used to Christine just spending money without much care, as it was there to be spent. Her side of the closet always overtook his.

"Old habits, I can move it back." Naz said, Mike caught her hands before she could try.

"No, it's ok. I can get used to wardrobe space." He told her in amusement. She exhaled and her shoulders relaxed.

"Sometimes this is really easy and other times, it's tough." She confessed.

"I know, but we'll get the hang of it." Mike assured her as he still held onto her hands. He half expected if he let go, she would try and 'fix' the closet.

"I love our room." She told him softly.

"Good." He said warmly, she stepped in closer to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. But instead of pulling away, she tentatively pressed a soft kiss to his lips that imbued him with warmth.

"Thank you." She whispered against his lips before she pressed another kiss. He groaned and pulled her harder against his mouth, kissing her deeply, feeling her tongue enter even as her arms tightened around him.

"You sure you're not too tired?" Mike asked, a little breathless.

"Definitely not." Naz replied, feeling energized by his hot, hard body against her. He didn't need to ask twice as he kissed her again. And again. And then with his arms beneath her, stood up, lifting her. As he carried her the few steps toward the bed.

* * *

"I'm surprised you get tickets so quickly." Azima said Sasha as they handed over their tickets to the doorman before they walked into the exhibit.

"I know some people." Sasha said, which was true. The show was popular but they kept tickets reserved for Navy personnel. She still had to pay for the tickets but it wasn't a long wait. After spending a day with people staring at Naz, and recognising her. Well, Sasha wanted to see what these people saw.

It was easy to convince Azima to join her, as Azima was a fan of Tom's. Sasha was grateful for her companionship as she realised in seeing these photos. There was a chance she'd see something she hadn't ever known about Tom's time away. It also made her curious to see if it would explain the true damage of the pandemic and Immune wars on Europe.

They walked through the first few photos which were of the early days of the pandemic. It wasn't anything knew as it had been seen on the news. Sasha hated how jaded she felt at the images.

"Do you think a normal person would cry at these photos?" Azima asked pragmatically as they passed by the photos of people struggling to survive. The gruesome reality of the Red Flu captured in black and white photos.

"I think they would be sick." Sasha said, she felt slightly affronted by it as the photos felt like a violation of corpses, there was no value out of them except that of shock or disgust. Which was unfair to the poor people who were dead. "They don't understand the mess of death or that what looks horrific is just a matter of life." Sasha said.

"I will never forget the smell, we would wrap up our dead and pile them up before burning them. The mess of smells of decay, blood and burning flesh. I truly thought it was the end, we were in hell as the skies turned red and all hope was lost." Azima said thoughtfully, her expression serious as she reflected back on it.

"Same," Sasha said, feeling slightly sickened by her own experience. But like Azima, she remembered the mass cremations and building fires. The signature scent that lingered in the air for days. The sky was thick with smog and filth from burning so many bodies and buildings. She swallowed as she mentally pushed the memories away.

* * *

"Throw blanket is getting some quick use." Naz said with a grin as Mike came back from disposing the condom. He got back onto the bed and pulled half of the throw blanket over himself.

"I'll concede that it wasn't a waste of money." Mike said as he pulled her close to him. He had committed to memory every little purr and sigh she had made. The soft feel of her skin and the ragged imperfections of scars, she hadn't lied about not being bullet proof. But then she wasn't the only one with scars, as he had his share. For the past hour, they had delved into exploring that quite deeply.

"It also feels good against the skin." Naz murmured dreamily. She was flushed from their love making, and looking as happy and relaxed as he felt. But then it had been a long time since he'd had sex, too long given how quickly he'd came. But luckily, Naz hadn't minded in the least and he made it up to her in other pleasurable ways.

"I know something else that feels better against my skin." Mike told her, he covered her mouth with a passionate kiss, holding her close against him. Her mouth opened under his lips at once and he probed with his tongue. She welcomed him in, moving over his mouth with lips that were hot and urgent, holding him tightly.

* * *

Sasha stared at the photo for a long moment. It was of Tom sitting on the ground with his knees up and his back against a brick wall. It was night time in the rain where a lamp threw an artistic hazy glow effect, his hand on his head as he looked to the side. Tears streamed down his face. His grief so stark, tangible and beautifully ugly in the black and white photo.

Her heart ached for him, for his loss. It was so easy for her and anyone else to forget Tom was still a man of flesh and blood. Especially given his reputation and how the media played him up. But the photos she had seen of Tom, of his life in Greece left her feeling despondent.

She wanted to feel as though he had gotten something out of leaving, but the photos made her feel like he'd just gone to a beautiful place but lived in his own emotional torment and grief. She wished there was some way it could've been different. That maybe he'd found more peace than what a few photos showed. But she just didn't feel it, as she saw Tom's tortured features. The mask he put on for others, the only time his real self came out was in photos like this one.

She could see why people loved the photo exhibit as they showed insight into worlds and lives that they were now far removed from. The photos, allowed to one to feel the grief they buried deep down out of necessity of survival.

She moved away from the photos, unable to look at them and moved to Azima side. She was surprised to see Azima had tears in her eyes. She looked to the photo that Azima was looking at. It was of Naz in coalition uniform, she sat in a hollowed out building that had seen better days, The walls were barely standing they had huge chunks taken out by presumably mortar shells. The roof had to have been partially gone as light streamed in.

Naz sat cross legged on the ground opposite a little girl no more than 8 yrs old who was sick with Red Flu. Sasha recognised the sores and the girl's clothing suggested she had no home or family. Yet, even in the misery, they appeared to playing 'Cat's cradle'. The little girl sat on her knees, her smiling as she pulled on the strings, about to take the game to another level. Naz smiled watching the girl. The way the light hit Naz, it made her look almost ethereal in nature. As if she were an angel.

"The little girl died from the Red Flu two days later. The safe zone she was in, had been infected by the Immunes." Azima said, saving Sasha the time of reading the byline of the photo. Many of Naz's photos made her appear like she was not of their world. As if, her invincibility meant she was able to save everyone, but it wasn't true. "The place is a mockery of people's pain." Azima added.

"I agree." Sasha said, as she understood why Naz wanted nothing to do with it. It was too painful to be viewing these photos as they all had heartbreaking stories. There was no peace to be found, no full circle of life or hope to be had in the room. It was just fodder of pain and misery for mass consumption. It seemed so unnecessary as everyone had experience enough misery, that they didn't need to take on more. "And, I don't know about you, but I could use a drink." She told her.

"Yes, let's get out of here." Azima said as she looked away from the photo.

* * *

"Soylent tastes better after sex." Naz said, Mike nearly choked on his drink. "I mean it." She added.

"I know." He replied as they sat on the lounge with their dinner. There seemed little reason to sit at the table given their meals were in a cup. He also liked the laziness of lounging on the couch.

Naz's long legs over his lap as she sat sideways on the lounge. Her contentment washing over them both. He wasn't used to feeling content, normally there was something missing, something to be done. While they had a long list of things to do around the home. There was no urgency or worry over them, just a relaxed sense of time. They sense that they had time and plenty of it.

"We should bone up on each other." Naz said, Mike gave her a look at which she smiled. It was clear she chose her words purposefully. "The barbecue is on Saturday. People are going to ask how you proposed, when did we hook up? When are we getting married? Are they invited? Am I pregnant? Are we having kids? If so, when." Naz drawled in a manner like she'd been asked the questions a million times over.

"I proposed you the first day we got back. I wooed you with my scrabble skills but we never fraternised on the ship. We're getting married when the licence comes in. We don't know. No, I'm not pregnant. We don't know, if we don't know if we're having kids we won't know when." Mike said answering all the questions for her.

"Works for me and you should know that I'm clean. I know it's a little belated to say as much after this afternoon." Naz said with a wry smile as she referred to when they had had sex.

"Same." Mike said, he still used condoms with her because he highly doubted she had birth control pills or access to other birth control. He wasn't sure what her long term plans were. Friends with Benefits didn't mean having a child.

"And, while I'm being brutally honest." She started.

"Don't critique me. My ego can't handle it at the moment." Mike quipped, she gave a chuckle.

"No, I was going to say that you're the first person I've been intimate with since my husband. Before you only two other men one of which was my husband. Not that I want to know your number. I just wanted you to know." She said in a serious manner.

"Ok." Mike said in appreciation, he wanted to say he felt honoured as he did. He also knew many people viewed sex differently. While he and Naz might be friends with benefits, the fact she chose to be with him, to be so selective spoke to the traditionalist in him.

"And as for scoring. If it means anything, I'd say you're very good. Very good." She said with a salacious smile. A tell tale blush creeping across her cheeks.

"I was half afraid you'd say I was too quick." Mike joked, he just had to put it out there for his own ego that was inflating by the second by her smiles and commentary on his skills.

"Nope, it was fun. I can't wait to do it again." Naz said with a grin, Mike smiled and chuckled. "I sound overeager." She said.

"You do, but I like your enthusiasm." Mike quipped, Naz laughed, it was a beautiful sound to his ears, that he enjoyed just as much as he did her smile. He laughed with her, enjoying the much needed levity and time together.


	35. Chapter 35

"Ok, done." Naz said as Mike came back into the bedroom on Thursday afternoon. She packed away all of her new clothes. It wasn't much, in fact her clothes barely took up a third of the closet space as her underwear and socks were in the dresser.

"How does it feel?" Mike asked as he snaked his arms around her waist and looked at their closet.

"I feel like we're not big on clothes." Naz said as she rested her arms on top of his and leaned back against him. "But, it's good to have my own space." She added.

"We should talk about the rest of the house." He said, he looked to their closet that looked fairly threadbare in how it used to look. But he found the space comforting. Not from a money aspect but because it meant they had less clutter.

"Something in particular?" she asked.

"Photos on the walls. Knick knacks around the house." Mike said, he wasn't sure he could touch the children's rooms but the shared spaces with Naz. He was able to let go and move forward. He recognised that he wasn't erasing anything, he was just turning the page and moving onto the next chapter. He had his memories, his love for his family which wouldn't change but he didn't need to hold onto everything anymore.

"I don't think we have to change everything this week." Naz argued, she turned around and faced him. She didn't want him to regret changing or removing anything from his home because of her. She definitely didn't want it to be flung back in her face if or when they had their first fight.

"I want to. It helps me to let go of things. Not everything, but I want this to be our space." Mike told her as he gently brushed her hair behind her ear and cupped her face.

"Ok, well, I think we can keep some of the photos up. They are good memories. They shouldn't all be packed away." Naz told him, he smiled at how she was bargaining with him when he should be the one holding onto his past. But he understood her side. She wanted him to not feel pressured and he truly appreciated it.

"Yeah, they are." Mike said agreeing with her.

"So maybe keep up your absolute favourites and take down your least favourite. There have to be some." Naz said, Mike considered her point, he released her and moved into the hallway.

"Posed school photos, wedding photos can come down." He said as he removed about 8 photos from the wall leaving ten on the wall. He watched as Naz showed great care in taking the framed photos down and moving them to the kitchen table to be packed away.

He looked to the wall and took down the photos of Christine by herself and with just him. He moved to the box he was using and passed down the framed photos to Naz. She placed them with the other photos.

"Mike, we both have pasts and they shouldn't be ignored. We just accept they are a part of us. I don't mind your photos being on the wall of you and Christine or of the kids. It's a reminder that you had a happy past, that if you can have it once, then you can have it again." Naz told him as she placed a hand on his arm and gave it a gentle squeeze of comfort.

Mike knew she was right and he couldn't help the anxiety he felt. He felt like he should gut the house of his past life and start fresh. But another part of him wanted to hold onto everything and felt guilty for wanting to hold onto it and for wanting to let go.

"I know, but we need space on the wall for our chapter." Mike said, the compromise he made with himself. He hoped it would absolve some of his guilt.

"How many hooks we got?" Naz asked.

"12." Mike told her as he pulled down one last photo from the wall. He looked at the ones remaining and smiled as he remembered all the good times shown before him.

"I think it's more than enough." Naz said.

"I think so too." Mike said agreeing with her, he looked at the wall seeing the empty spaces and felt the impact more than he'd ever expected for something so small.

* * *

"Ok, Parents; let's take a ten minute breather and get right back to it!" Candace said with an over enthusiastic manner.

"The meetings usually go for two hours." The woman to his left said, she was a strawberry blonde with shoulder length curly hair, pale skin and blue eyes. She could almost be a clone of Sasha except she was far too carefree with her smiles and she dressed in cotton dungarees and a plaid shirt. An outfit, he could never see her in.

"Are you serious?" Tom asked her incredulously as he'd hoped maybe the long meeting was an aberration.

"You can see why you're the only man here voluntarily." She said with a grin. Tom smiled as he did see the lack of fathers in the room as the only other males were the Principal and Deputy Principal. "I'm Jo, your daughter Ashley is friends with my daughter; Mel. Melody Fulton." Jo said holding out her hand to him.

"Pleases to meet you." Tom said as he shook her hand. He was surprised at the strong grip and calloused palms as he was used to women outside of Navy giving him limp fish handshakes.

"You too." She replied as she took her hand back. "Your wife used to be head of the PTA. Half an hour meetings and beautiful spread of food. Fresh coffee, it was bliss." She told him with a fond smile.

"This doesn't look too bad." Tom remarked as they looked to table at the back. It wasn't much of a spread but there was beverages and some food. It was disappearing quickly.

"Famine makes everything depressing except flowers. Which reminds me…" She drawled as she pulled her purse and in a flat second handed him her business card. "In case the girls get into trouble and us single parents have to team up." She told him.

"Ah, thank you." Tom said awkwardly as he was reading all the hints that the woman was flirting with him. But he wasn't interested, he looked down at the card. "You're a Florist?" he asked.

"Actually, I'm a horticulturist by trade but with the red rust I had to branch out." She said, Tom smiled at the pun. "It used to my wife's business, I'd grow flowers among other things and she would sell them. The perfect meshing of skills. When she passed away, I took over the whole business." She told him.

"I can't imagine your business is doing well in the economy." Tom remarked.

"Actually, it's a great economy for flowers. Weddings and funerals, the forgotten anniversary, the people who just want to treat themselves to a little colour and life. It's a steady paycheck." She said in a pragmatic manner.

"I stand corrected." Tom said, she gave a smile before it fell flat.

"Watch your backside, Captain. Candace is coming your way. She looks hungry." Jo told him, Tom turned just in time to see Candace's plastic smile. The whole woman seemed unreal with her perfectly quaffed bottle blonde hair, petite 5 ft 3 frame dressed in a floral wrap around dress. She wore stilettos that clacked across the floor in a nervous manner as she rushed at them.

"Captain Chandler. It's such an honour to have you here." Candace said, her tone sounded friendly but there was an edge to it. She didn't want him here, he knew why when she had dropped by his house with a 'welcome home' basket of preserves.

"Thank you, but I'm a little lost. I was told we can bring up certain topics that we feel need to be addressed." Tom told her, she smiled and waved a dismissive hand at him.

"Oh, no, you can let me know and I can take it further up the chain of command. So to speak." She said with a wink.

"I just sat for an hour listening about how we have to raise money through a bake sale for the boy's locker room and sports field to be updated?" Tom asked her, he saw Jo in his periphery watching them like they were a TV show.

"It's so important. Iron grid culture will revive our community and morale of ... well everybody." Candace told him, she flipped her hair over her shoulder and fluttered her eyelashes at him. Maybe if he was missing about 50 IQ points and didn't have better taste in women, he'd be dumbfounded by her but he wasn't.

"I'm more concerned about my children's education than a football game. If we want to boost morale and gain community involvement. Then the community should volunteer their time and services to help mow the field and help repair the superficial damage of the locker rooms in their spare time. Say, a couple hours on the weekend. As we're in a famine, no one has the food to participate in a bake sale." Tom told her, Candace gave him a withering sigh.

"The damage is not superficial and parents will find a way to make the bake sale work. It just requires sacrifice on their part for their children." Candace told him.

"Not all of them have children who play sports. It's unfair to raise money for something that not all the children can enjoy and reap benefit from. I'd like to focus on topics such as the dress code and even distribution of funding across the board for both genders in sports and education. Because as a parent, I believe showing gender equality in the curriculum much more important than pandering just to one small group of student's needs when we should be working to addressing the majority." Tom said, Candace blinked at him.

"Pandering?" She asked in disbelief and looking slightly affronted by his accusation.

"You have two boys, majority of this agenda is focused on the male students. It's ignoring the needs of the female students or restricting them even further." Tom told him.

"That's because the girls have everything they need." Candace told him.

"Except for an appropriate and clear dress code, adequate sports facilities and equipment-" Tom started, but Candace cut him off and spoke over him. He could see she was nervous as they were gathering quite an audience.

"That's because in the past they have no interest. So why spend the money on them? and anyway, the PTA doesn't bother with this. The 'problems' you perceive the school have is a school district problem, not a PTA problem." Candace told him in a sweet manner but her tone was clear. She was telling to take a hike.

"Ok, then you won't mind if I use the next ten minutes to ask parents to sign a petition to the School district for my proposal for a new dress code and funding to be equally distributed into the male and female sport teams?" Tom asked.

"It's a waste of time." Candace told him with a sickly smile but he knew she was angry at him. As he knew no leader liked insubordination in their ranks.

"My time to waste." Tom said with a closed lip smile, "So, lovely to meet you." He said, he turned away from her and moved into the crowd to gather signatures and support.

* * *

The following morning,

"It's official, you cannot make pancakes out of soylent." Naz told Mike, he smiled as he watched her eat the warmed up mush in the attempt to make a pancake. Ultimately, watching her fail and put her soylent into a cup as a lumpy mess. She made a face of disgust after one sip. He didn't blame her for hating it

"You want to swap?" he asked out chivalry than because he wanted it as he didn't. He was relieved when she shook her head.

"I'm just going to keep drinking it until I have Stockholm syndrome for this stuff." Naz told him.

"It's the only way to go." Mike quipped with a smile as he watched her gulp down some more of her meal. It made him a little queasy as he could see she was truly struggling to swallow it and keep it down. But he knew she wouldn't throw it away, as she was adamant about not wasting things especially food.

"Side note, don't eat it hot. It's horrific." Naz told him, she turned slightly green as she ate another spoonful. The heat had made the drink congeal some.

"We can swap." He offered for a second time, hoping she still turned him down.

"No, I made the mistake. I will live through it." Naz told him.

"Ok. Well, I was thinking you could get some rest today while I get you some American history books and some real food today." He told her.

"Real food, that would be amazing." Naz told him, she downed the rest of her meal. Her whole face pinched in pain and disgust. She slapped the table as she forced it down. Mike watched in half amusement and concern as he wondered if he should get a bucket. "Never again. Blegh." She told him.

"Warm lumpy soylent is a no-no." Mike quipped,

"Don't repeat the 'L' word." She said as she felt completely nauseated.

* * *

Tom came out of the clinic after checking in with his doctor to assess his progress and whether he was ready for rehab yet. Luckily, the wound was all but healed which meant rehab started next week. Not that Tom saw the point as he had been walking around on the leg pretending it was fine. It was just how he operated, yeah, his leg killed him at the end of the day. But sadly, he couldn't afford time off and his ego told him he could do everything and parenting involved him being mobile.

He had been caught up in shuffling his paperwork when he ran into Kara and Frankie.

"Captain." Kara said addressing him first. She was in civilian clothing unlike him and had Frankie with her. Her arm was still in a sling but Frankie clutched onto her good hand.

Tom gave her what he hoped translated to a warm smile as he wanted her to know he wasn't going to get bent out of shape over an informal greeting.

"Commander, good to see you again." Tom said, he looked at Frankie marvelling at how much the boy had grown. He remembered as a tiny baby and now he was standing on his feet. "And is this Frankie?" he asked in disbelief. Frankie tucked his face shyly into the back of Kara's leg.

"Yes, and don't mind him. He's a little upset cause Daddy couldn't hug him with all the tubes in him. But he'll be ok." Kara said, she wore an apologetic smile as she gently ruffled Frankie's hair in a soothing manner.

"It's ok, it's a tough time when a family member is in hospital." Tom said.

"Yes, it is." Kara said with a tight expression as Tom could see the strain it was on her. It felt for her, as he'd been the injured knucklehead in the hospital bed while Darien held down the home front.

"You know, if you need anything at all. You know you can call anyone from the James. Myself included." Tom told her, needing to reassure her. He may have left the crew but he never once stopped caring about them.

"I know, but we're ok. We have my mother and Danny's older brother with us. Mom's boyfriend Pete makes sure we have food or at least some soylent made up." Kara said with a soft smile.

"That's good." Tom said.

"How are you? I heard you were teaching at the college." Kara said.

"I am, the leg is healing up just fine. The kids are settling in. Thank you for asking." Tom replied.

"Those cadets are lucky to have you. The knowledge and experience you have is invaluable. I know I learnt a lot under your leadership when you were Captain of the Nathan James." Kara told him.

"Hopefully you learnt my better qualities as a leader. As for the cadets, we'll see how I go." Tom said with a self-deprecating manner. "What about you? Have you been given a new post?" he asked.

"Not yet. I heard Commander Garnett has put my name forth to work with Ms Cooper in ONI." Kara said.

"Is it something you want?" Tom asked out of curiosity.

"Long term? No, but right now, it could be a good fit for the family." Kara told him, Tom nodded. "Anyway, I should get this one home." She said gesturing to Frankie.

"Of course, it was good to see you both." Tom said sincerely.

"You too, Sir." She said with a closed lip smile. "I also think the sailors here wouldn't mind a visit or two from you. If you have the time." Kara suggested.

"I'll consider it." Tom told her.

"Goodbye, Sir." Kara said, she gave him a nod and looked down at Frankie; prodding him that it was time to go home.

"Bye." He replied, he watched her leave and gave a small wave as Frankie shot a look back at him. Frankie didn't wave back, instead he went back to following his mom. But it brought up memories for him of when his kids were that age.

He thought over Kara's suggestion, he looked at his watch as he had the morning off. He could spare his time to visit some of the injured. So, he headed to the nurse's desk. With a quick conversation and a floor change, he walked into Danny's room.

He tapped on the door frame as he took in the sight of Danny. The man looked terrible, it had only been a couple weeks. But in that time, he'd lost a lot of muscle mass, he was pale and drawn. His eyes bloodshot and face tense as if he were in pain.

"Sir." Danny said weakly, he tried to sit up but Tom waved at him to stay as he was.

"Relax, I don't want to be shouted at for making you worse." Tom told him as he moved to Danny's bedside and pulled up a chair. He sat down noticing the tubes coming out of Danny's side, the IV lines and monitor cords. "You look terrible." He added.

"I feel it, Sir." Danny said with a reluctant tone. He grimaced as he tried to get comfortable but couldn't manage it.

"You'll come back from this." Tom assured him. Danny gave him a bleak expression that suggested that he didn't believe him.

"Doctors say otherwise." Danny said as he struggled to breathe. "I have nerve and lung damage." He added.

"I've seen men come back from worse. Just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other." Tom told him.

"Easy for the man who just got shot in the leg." Danny said with a sigh.

"You show your wife and kid that attitude?" Tom asked him.

"No," Danny told him.

"Good, see that you don't because you need them as much they need you." Tom told him.

"I know, I'm sorry Sir." Danny said adopting the more formal manner.

"It's ok, and look I've been where you are. I was shot in the chest near centre mass by a sniper. I was lucky to survive it at all and I learnt that body armour is non-negotiable. Trust me, I know how it feels to be in your position. It feels like shit right now, but in a couple weeks the tubes will come out and it's all uphill to get back." Tom told him.

"You suck at pep talks Sir." Danny told him, Tom gave a smile.

"I lost it while I was away. Tell me about your boy, I remember him being a little peanut." Tom said, Danny gave him a weak but happy smile.

"He got big." Danny said, Tom got comfortable as he listened to Danny talk about Frankie and all of his achievements.

* * *

"EXCUSE ME?!" a woman shouted from the curb. Naz turned and watched as a blond woman in orange velour, power walked up the front path and onto the porch. "Who are you?" she demanded.

"What?" Naz asked affronted by the woman's tone and general demeanour.

"You work here?" She asked loudly and slowly as if Naz had brain damage, she made hand motions that Naz didn't understand at all.

"Do you habla the English?" The woman asked Naz. Naz narrowed her eyes at the woman as she wasn't sure if she was pranked or not. "No englese?" she asked, Naz was half tempted to speak in Farsi but knew she had to play nice with the community even the ratbag ones like the woman before her.

"I speak English." Naz told her. The woman gave a sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank goodness. I was starting to think you were a little touched." She said in a sweet enough manner, Naz bit her tongue on a sassy reply. "I know we Americans can speak a little fast but you'll catch up if you practice. We are in America, English all the way ok?" she asked Naz with her thumbs up.

"Sure." Naz said, the woman's eye narrowed as she took a long look at Naz.

"You know, you look real familiar. Have we met before?" the woman asked her.

"No, I'd remember." Naz said, she wasn't going to claim whatever fame the photo exhibit had given her. In fact she was hoping to not look like the woman in those photos again.

"Your accent is very weird. Where are you from?" she asked Naz.

"Australia." Naz told her, the woman scrunched up her nose. A look Naz was familiar with as majority of the world thought Australians were all Caucasian.

"You don't sound or look Australian. Where did you originally come from?" She asked Naz.

"Can I help you with something?" Naz asked her.

"Oh, I wanted to see if the future Mrs Slattery was in. You can go get her for me now. Ok? Yes." She said with a smile, she even gave Naz a dismissive wave of the hand. Naz wore a tight lipped smile as she really wanted to break the woman's hand.

"You're looking at her. I'm Naz, I'd shake your hand…" She showed the dirt and her hand in a cast. For once, Naz was happy to have a broken arm as she didn't want to shake the woman's hand on principle.

"You?" She said in disbelief. She did a second once over of Naz. "But you're… so not like Christine." She said struggling to not show her racism any further than she had.

"No, I'm not. How can I help you…?" Naz drawled hoping the woman would give her a name.

"Oh, how rude of me!" She said with a smile, "I'm Candace Preston. I'm Captain Preston's wife. He's the Base Commander here at Norfolk." Candace told her. Naz inwardly she was deflated as she couldn't smack down the base commander's wife.

"Good to know." Naz said.

"Oh yes, it's a very prestigious position. As his wife, I support him 100% which is why I'm here." Candace told her.

"Oh?" Naz asked.

"Well, Captain Slattery has really been letting the neighbourhood down." Candace said in a low and disappointed manner like she was telling Naz a secret.

"Oh no." Naz said drily, but it flew over Candace's head as she nodded emphatically.

"It's disgraceful, look at the paint falling off this house. No decorations up, Halloween is next week. Don't get me started about that ugly situation of the backyard." Candace told her.

"You mean the garden?" Naz asked

"That is not a garden, a garden is structured and well maintained. Your backyard is overgrown mess, we're lucky the wildlife hasn't been coming in." Candace told her with a shocked expression.

"I'd be surprised if wildlife got into the base." Naz said as she wasn't interested in the woman's hysterics.

"It could but that's beside the point. What is important, Navy wife to future Navy wife." Candace gestured to herself then Naz, "That you should get onto fixing things around here. Like getting your Halloween decorations up lickety split. It's the following weekend. So, not this Saturday but the next." Candace said with a smile that Naz wanted to throw her dirty wash cloth at her face.

"Halloween? Is that a religious thing? Because I'm not into celebrating a faith that I don't prescribe to." Naz told her, Candace blinked as it apparently took her a few minutes to compute what Naz said. But then she gave a syrupy laugh and waved a dismissive hand.

"No, Halloween is a holiday. Fun time for kids, do keep it PG rated and fun. Not scary as the kids have been through enough with the pandemic and all that followed." Candace explained it Naz like she were a four year old missing half a brain before giving her a piece of paper.

"This is?" Naz asked as she opened the paper to find it was a 'to-do' list for the property.

"It's your to-do list. I ranked them as to what's most important first. Things I've seen around your property that need tending to." Candace told her.

"You want us to repaint our house 'Eggnog'?" Naz asked in a sceptical manner. She wondered where the woman got off giving Naz a 'to-do' list.

"To match the street. I've only begun to outline my ideas of how to beautify housing on the base. Having uniformed house colours is on the list of desirable outcomes for my group." Candace told her.

"How will we know where we live if all our houses look the same?" Naz asked her blandly.

"House numbers, duh! And honestly this yellow is horrendous, a true eye sore on the street. Eggnog is a beautiful rich yellow that is much more welcoming and pleasing to the eye." Candace told her.

"I'm sure it is, but I would think the base commander would have more important things to do than focus on house paint colours and writing to-dos." Naz asked wryly.

"Oh honey, I wrote the lists and you will be fined if you don't comply." Candace's phone alarm went off. "That's me. I have to keep walking. Look, get the decorations up by Friday or I will have to notify housing and they can fine you. It would not be good for your reputation or Captain Slattery's." She told her.

"Ok." Naz said with a frown as she pocketed the list.

"Ok, bye, bye." Candace said.

"Bye," Naz replied, before she added "You pedantic cow." under her breath as she went back to work. Once she finished the windows, she went inside and called back up.


	36. Chapter 36

A couple hours later, Mike returned home after his adventure of finding all the books Naz needed to learn about America and its history. It was easier than finding real food. Steak was damn near impossible to find but he'd managed to find it and he cringed at the high price but felt it was okay to splurge the one time.

Either way, he was happy to get home. He pulled into his driveway. He parked the car and got out with the food rations that were his and Naz's for the week. He locked the car, arms loaded when he stopped to look at the house.

He frowned as it looked like Halloween had been violently ill on his house and the front shrubs in a kitschy cute fashion than the terrorising manner. He cautiously moved across the lawn and up to the door afraid of something about to jump out of him. There were faux cobwebs, bats, plastic skeletons and pumpkins decorated all over the place.

He was about to juggle the bags of groceries and books in his arms to open the door when Naz opened the door for him.

"Hey." She said with a smile. She looked exhausted and judging by the exterior of the house; she had not rested.

"Thank you." He said as she held the door open for him.

"I heard the car pull in. Do you need a hand?" she asked.

"No, what's going on with the front of the house?" he asked carefully as he placed the bags on the kitchen table and began to unload them.

"I hope you don't mind. I had to snoop for the decorations. Candace the base commander's wife gave me a 'to do' list and inferred it would bad for your reputation if the decorations weren't up. You know, she is a class A, racist bitch." Naz told him.

"It comes with the territory; the bitch part as she's queen bee. The racism is unsavoury and probably just her upbringing." Mike said as he unwrapped the steak and showed it to Naz. He enjoyed the smile on Naz's face which made the price worth it.

"Oh, those steaks look amazing." Naz said as she looked at the steaks. "I'm already salivating. I'll have it medium rare." She ordered, Mike snorted a laugh.

"Consider it done, and don't let Candace get to you. She wants you to be problematic, so she can be catty to the other wives." He said as he wrapped up the meat before placing it into the fridge.

"She wants us to paint our house 'Eggnog' and has given me a to-do list." Naz informed him, she picked up a piece of paper that was on the bench and handed it to him.

"This is pretty extensive." Mike remarked as he read down the page. He definitely didn't like being told what to do with what was technically his property. But he knew better than to react. He'd just go to housing and ask for clarification and make sure he got approval.

"I will be polite to her but please don't tell me that I have to be friends with her. She told me that she thought I was touched in the head. More like she's touched in the head." Naz told him. Mike smiled wryly as he hadn't seen her so worked up before with exception of when she was trying to be polite about Tom.

"You can be friends with whoever you want." He told her as he wasn't about tell her how to live her life.

"That's a relief." Naz told him as she looked over the books.

"So, who helped you with the decorations?" he asked.

"I did it myself." She said, Mike knew she was lying.

"What does an Australian know about Halloween?" he asked her. She gave him a smile.

"Absolutely nothing. Sasha helped me. I feel like I should bake her a cake or something." Naz confessed.

"We could make that happen." Mike said.

"You know how to bake?" she asked him skeptically.

"I can follow directions on a box." He said in a defensive manner, Naz grinned as she knew he was downplaying it. She couldn't imagine Mike struggling to do anything when he put his mind to it.

"Finding a cake box might be a struggle though." Naz said.

"I prefer to think of it as a challenge." Mike told her with a grin.

* * *

"Hey, don't call your brother stupid. He's younger than you and still learning what you know." Tom told Ashley as he rose from the dining table to grab the phone that was ringing. His words went unheeded as his kids kept bickering.

"Chandler Residence. Tom, speaking." Tom said, he looked outside as lightning streaked across the sky in the distance. The wind was already picking up. He couldn't help but remember the last storm he'd encountered on the sea. How it had nearly wrecked everything, he felt like every time he saw dark skies, he felt trouble brewing.

" _Hey_." Sasha said, her voice carrying over the line. Tom blinked in surprise as he hadn't expected to hear from her.

"Sasha, hey, how was Washington?" he asked, inwardly cringing at how un-smooth he sounded.

" _A ghost town."_  Sasha replied, Tom wished she would be more verbose but he figured or at least hoped it would change in time.

"Get what you need?" He asked, knowing the question was for himself than about her. But he did genuinely want her to find peace. He knew the hardest part about losing Darien was facing the truth of how deeply he missed her, the pain of her loss. The fact that he felt untethered from the world as she had been the person he came home to. His partner, his lover and best friend. He missed having that, he felt lonely without her.

Hell, he felt lonely without his siblings and parents. He missed the connections of having a close-knit family. Sure, he had Mike and some other people like Andrea and the crew but it wasn't the same kind of relationship. There was a wall between him and them due his rank and how he led them during the Pandemic.

" _Mostly, how's things_?" she asked him.

"They are ok. Teaching is ok, we've instituted more technology like quiz aps on phones and laptops. It's perked up my students. Kids are good even if they aren't getting along. You?" he asked her.

" _I'm good, I'm calling because Naz said you asked her to take Ashley shopping. I wanted to give you a heads up that I'll be joining her. If that's ok?"_  she asked him.

"Of course," Tom said, he was glad that Naz roped her into helping. He'd become aware with Ashley's changing views especially in regards to her own independence. She needed women to look up to. While Tom couldn't see eye to eye with Naz, he knew Sasha was the kind of woman he'd want as a role model to his children.

" _Good, so I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning at Mike's_." Sasha told him. He smiled as tomorrow was definitely going to be a better day.

"Will do." Tom replied.

" _Ok, well I have to go_ -" Sasha started but Tom cut her off.

"Wait." He said, he wasn't ready for her to hang up on him. "It's good to hear from you." He told her sincerely.

" _It's only been a couple days_." Sasha remarked in a wry manner.

"I know, but it's still good. Anyway, I'll let you go. See you tomorrow." He told her.

 _"Ok, bye."_  She said, she hung up the phone. Tom hung up on his end, closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to the phone in mortification.

"Everything ok?" Ashley asked Tom, Tom remembered to his embarrassment that the kids were witnessing his private moment.

"Yes, just a friend." He told them before he returned the phone to it's cradle and moved to the table. "So, plan tomorrow. We'll drop Ashley off at Uncle Mike's. She will go shopping with Naz and Sasha after they are done. We'll be going to SECNAV's house for Barbecue." Tom told them.

"Do we have to go?" Sammy asked making a face. Tom didn't blame him. Social functions were pretty boring for adults and even worse for kids.

"Family is invited. There will be other kids." Tom assured him, but he had no idea as he just got a phone call telling him he was ordered to attend.

"Like Frankie? Cause he's a baby." Sammy said making a face, Tom inwardly groaned as he wasn't ready for another teenager with opinions.

"I don't know, but I'd like you two to be there and Frankie is a toddler not a baby. But that's beside the point as there will be food, real food that is hand-shaken by yours truly." Tom told them, he saw their expression lighten up at the idea of being able to chew food again.

"Ok." Sammy said with enthusiasm. "But can I bring my Game boy?" he asked.

"Sure, Ashley?" he asked.

"I'm happy to go, I have my iPhone." Ashley told him.

"Or you can offer to look after Frankie and see if you can get some work as a babysitter." Tom told her, reminding of how she wanted to work.

"I want a real job." Ashley told him.

"Babysitting is a real job." Tom said in a smart ass manner, he grinned as Ashley rolled her eyes at him.

* * *

Mike woke up with a start. It wasn't the loud rumble of thunder which felt like the house shook that woke him up. No, it was Naz. She threw off the covers before she rolled to the side of the bed; taking cover.

"Naz." Mike said in concern. He turned to his bedside table and flicked on a lamp. He turned and crawled over to Naz's side and found she was still sitting on the floor. Her head in her hands. "Naz, it's ok. It's just a thunderstorm." He told her, a loud snap followed by crackle noises filled the air. Naz's shoulders jerked at the noise, her breathing became slightly panicked.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, not saying words of comfort as he knew she was probably beating herself up for being scared awake by a storm. She replied by placing her hand on top of his and gave a slow exhale.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I-" she stopped and took a moment to calm herself. "Normally, I'd be zonked on Nostos during storms." She said, she pushed off the floor and Mike helped her put the covers back in place. Mike pulled her into his arms.

"It's ok, just breathe." He told her as he felt her tense up after lightning flashed through the window. He was glad he put on the light because even he would've tensed up from awareness. Naz needed him to be calm, she needed him to be her rock. He wanted to be that for her.

Naz closed her eyes and nodded as she breathed through the noise. Her body screamed at her to take cover, her heart pounded and she had a nice sweat going on. The irrational side of her pulled memories to the surface of the Immune wars likening the thunder to explosions, and the rain that pelted the house of bullets. While her rational mind told her that it was just thunder and rain. The only true thing she had in her grasp quite literally was Mike. She wrapped her arms around Mike and tucked her face into his neck. Using his presence to make sense of her surroundings, the warmth, the scent of his skin and his steady heartbeat to keep her grounded and calmed her.

"The storm is passing." Mike murmured softly into her hair, she wasn't even sure of how long they had been standing there but he was right. The thunder and rain had quietened down. She felt calmer than she had been moments ago.

"Thank you." She said as she looked to him, and saw no judgement. She didn't expect any. A man with a long history as a cop and Sailor didn't come without his own demons. She cupped his face with her hands and pressed her forehead to his. She relished the quiet tension of attraction between them and being with someone who understood her pain and still saw her strength even when she was at her weakest.

She couldn't help herself as she kissed him. Part of her brain told her that friends with benefits did not get emotionally involved but Sasha was right. She wasn't nor could she fake that she didn't care for Mike. As he kissed her back, she sank into the pleasure and acknowledged that she wanted to be with him. Not for the original purpose of a green card or to satiate her physical needs. She wanted to be with him for the long haul.

* * *

The following morning, Naz happily accepted a watered-down coffee from Mike as she needed it. Not just for her raw nerves from the storm, or the revelation she deeply cared for a man who only wanted to 'help' her and then have her move on. It was also because it was 7 am and their kitchen was filled with four too many people in it.

Mike seemed to share her opinion as he was quiet and there was a tense edge to his demeanour. She knew he had something on his mind but now wasn't the time to address it. No, right now she had to help Tom and his daughter as she said she would.

"This is ridiculous." Naz said as she read the list and drank her coffee needing the caffeine given the restless night. She really wanted to stay in bed but she said she'd help Tom and his daughter. Something she was purely doing for Mike. She was going to get along with his friends even if hurt or was a pain in the ass.

"Something we can both agree on." Tom said, as he, Sasha, Mike and Naz stood in Mike's kitchen. Sammy and Ashley were in the living room pretending they weren't there as kids want to do when they were awake before they wanted to be.

"Yeah, except I'd not be stupid enough to try and change it." Naz told him, Mike snorted a laugh at Tom's frown. He had been telling them about his plans to change the dress code. He apparently had many supporters as he did haters. His daughter and son weren't impressed but then they thought it was embarrassing especially Ashley who had already told him twice to drop it.

"It's not a fool's errand. I will win because I know how to get things done. I can bend a school district board to my will. You just wait and see." Tom told Naz, his words were slightly practised as she wasn't the first person to tell him to not bother. But he felt his cause was just.

"Ok, good luck." Naz said uncomfortably as she didn't want to egg him on or get into a fight. "Well, I'm sure Ashley, Sasha and I can work out a new wardrobe while you're breaking glass ceilings for the women of America one dress code at time." She drawled sarcastically, Tom made a face while the others were amused.

"On that note, we should get going as I need to chew my breakfast for at least two days a week or I'll go feral." Sasha told them as she was looking a little rough around the edges as Naz felt.

"Yes, more chewing of food. Let's do that." Naz agreed, she downed her coffee and placed her empty cup on the counter and shared a quick kiss with Mike. "I'll see you later." She told him.

"11am latest." He reminded her, she gave a closed lip smile as she warmed to his subtle prodding to not be late.

"I'll get her back in time." Sasha promised Mike before Naz could.

"Ashley, time to skiddadle." Naz said to Ashley, the girl stuffed her phone into her bag and joined them as she followed Sasha out the front door. "Ok, later-" Naz started until Mike caught her attention.

"Dress code list." Mike said holding up the paper. Naz grabbed the paper from him and raced out the front door.

"It'll be ok. They'll get along, right?" Tom asked Mike as he and Mike watched the ladies get into the car and drive away.

"I have no clue, I just know that I have to find if I gotta repaint my house eggnog or not." Mike said.

"What?" Tom asked incredulously.

"Candace Preston." Mike said as he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and showed it to Tom.

"That woman makes me yearn for the days of Ruskov and his tyranny." Tom said as he read the list. Mike gave him an incredulous look and Tom just gave a shrug as he was trying to inject some levity into the situation. "Is she joking with this?" Tom asked him.

"I doubt it but I'm going to cross my t's and dot my I's as she already pushed Naz into decorating the house for Halloween." Mike told him.

"I was going to ask what was going on out there. It's pretty insane for our neighbourhood." Tom said.

* * *

Half an hour later,

Sasha had brought them to a vegetarian restaurant that managed to survive on basic combinations of fruits and vegetables that were available. It was not cheap but Sasha felt it was worthwhile, as she told herself she'd be drinking Soylent for the next week.

"Ok, our aim is five tops and two pairs of pants and possibly a skirt. A couple cardigans, an awesome pleather jacket and another cool jacket style." Sasha said, she looked to Ashley who gave a nod while she ate her breakfast.

"Bomber jacket, though a nicely padded anorak would do well in the snow." Naz remarked, before she took a sip of her water.

"Sounds good." Ashley said in a non-committal manner.

"Well, it's your wardrobe, so if there's something you really want for your look. Now is the time to speak up." Naz told her.

"I just want to avoid detention." Ashley said frankly.

"Fair call. What about shoes and underwear, do we have to cover them too?" Naz asked her. Ashley nodded; the poor girl blushed as she was basically with two strangers talking about just the bare necessities of her life.

"That would be good. Maybe we could fit in a pit stop at the pharmacy? I need to get some stuff." Ashley said uncomfortably.

"Sure, what kind of stuff?" Naz asked casually.

"Period stuff." Ashley said in a low voice.

"Oh, yeah. I need to get that too." Naz remarked casually as if it wasn't the big deal. She didn't want Ashley to think her period was something she should have to hide or feel shame about. Part of that was openly discussing it as if it were normal, because it was for women.

"What did you do the past three years?" Sasha asked Naz with a frown, she seemed to know what Naz was up to and went with it.

"Diva cup and reusable pads, but I didn't get to pack my essentials when we left Sardinia. I also had birth control pills which gave me the luxury of skipping my period. 3 months off, one on." Naz remarked casually, she gave a shrug like it was a big deal. She wasn't going to mention that she hadn't had a period for over a year thanks to stress and lack of food.

"I use Diva cup as well." Sasha told her, Naz frowned.

"How do you sterilise it when you don't have a cook top to boil the sucker?" Naz asked her.

"I use a steriliser tablets in cold water. Usually does the trick." Sasha said, she and Naz were completely aware of Ashley listening intently to them. Taking in the knowledge for later use.

"What's a diva cup?" Ashley asked them, joining the conversation.

"It's like a small bell shaped cup. You insert it into your vagina and it collects the blood. The pros of it is that it's re-useable which means in the long run you save money." Sasha explained.

"Cons are you gotta sterilise it and empty it from time to time during your period. It's not for the squeamish, but it's something to keep in mind. Though you're young, so you got time to explore your options and find what feels best for you." Naz told Ashley, making clear that she wasn't going to judge at all.

"I don't know much about any of it." Ashley confessed.

"Don't worry, we'll set you up with a little bit of everything and if you want we can talk you through it. So, when your period comes. You'll be equipped." Sasha told her, she remembered how it was a mother daughter moment that Ashley would not have.

"Thanks." Ashley said with a grateful expression.

"But I will say, you shouldn't be afraid to tell your dad and talk to him about it." Sasha said. Naz laughed but quickly covered her mouth.

"Sorry, most men are pretty uncomfortable about it." Naz said.

"It's embarrassing." Ashley said making a face.

"He was married to your Mom. You don't need to get into details but it's good not to make a big deal of it. Once he knows, he'll probably want to buy you drugs, chocolate and leave you alone. I'm hoping that's what Mike will do when it's my lady time." Naz said with a grin. Sasha shook her head in amusement while Ashley wasn't sure what to make of her comment.

"The thing is it's important to not make it a secret or something you feel you have to hide. Sure, it's not polite conversation for complete strangers but between friends, it's fine to talk about it. It's just a natural body function of being female." Sasha said to Ashley.

"That no one talks about." Ashley said.

"We're talking about it. But I'm pretty sure Naz would talk about any of her body functions." Sasha said, Naz gave a shrug.

"We're best friends and we shared close quarters for about a month. There are no secrets between us when it comes to our bodies. In fact there is very little that I don't know about you." Naz told Sasha.

"There's a lot you don't know. And best friends?" Sasha asked teasingly.

"You can deny it, but it won't change the fact that it's true." Naz told her. Sasha just smiled, feeling the levity and joy.

* * *

An hour later, after a run and long hot shower. Mike inspected his face closely in the bathroom mirror and smoothed his hands over his chin making sure he shaved to his standard.

Once, he was happy with how smooth it felt; he double checked his hair and then walked into the bedroom to get changed.

He knew he didn't have primp and polish for a simple Barbecue but he wanted to look good. Not for his fellow comrade but for Naz. He knew she was putting in considerable effort to look good for him. It was only fair, he do the same which left standing in front of wardrobe deciding what to wear.

* * *

"I feel like you're not going to win with this dress code. But this is cute." Naz said as she pulled out a turtle neck and paired it with a midi skirt. "Not very teenagery but pair with ankle boots and you got everything covered that you have to cover up for school." Naz said, she made a weird face as she was struggling just as Sasha to find something Ashley liked and didn't look like something a 60 year old woman would wear.

"It's a little too much for school." Sasha said, she looked to Ashley who wore a deflated expression. "Hey, I know this is a pain but I say you live through the next few years of dealing with this restrictions and college will be all about how you want to express yourself." Sasha told Ashley.

"True, I wore a uniform for school. I feel it was better than this. But that doesn't mean you can't dress in better outfits outside of school. Oh!, here some long boyfriend jeans and we can pair them with the high tops you got on. They cover those ankles. You match it with lightweight crew sweater and collared shirt. No boobs and no clavicles but you can accessorise." Naz said.

"Yeah, accessories would be good like a chunky necklace or scarves. Crew neck t-shirt and a cute blazer you can put non political, not religious or profane badges onto." Sasha said.

"Nobody collects badges." Ashley said, with a sigh. "I want to wear skinny jeans." She added.

"I don't think your school will like them." Sasha told her, Naz was looking over the long list.

"No, you can wear skinny jeans as long as they cover your ankles, have no tears in them and are waist height. No, showing of skin between your torso and waistband." Naz clarified.

"Really?" Sasha asked, she could see herself wearing waist high pants but the dress code was doing her head in as it killed any kind of current trend that teenage girls had as they all included showing skin.

"Yeah, your choices are fairly limited as your crew neck t-shirts can't have imagery or words as it attracts attention to your breast area." Naz added.

"But plain colours t-shirts with boot cut jeans and a blazer with a nice necklace would look great in the winter. Or this dark blue t-shirt with this pink bomber jacket." Sasha said as she pulled out the bomber jacket and a plain navy marle t-shirt. It was one of the very few items that Ashley's face lit up at.

"I like that." Ashley said as she took the jacket from Sasha.

"Try them on with these three types of jeans, see which one works for you. One of them are skinny jeans." Naz told her, Ashley nodded as she took the jeans from Naz and went into the dressing room.

"This is hard." Sasha told Naz in a low voice as they kept sifting through the racks. She didn't want Ashley to overhear them.

"We just need to start throwing the clothing options at her and see what she'll keep." Naz replied at the same level of noise.

"We're running out of time." Sasha said.

"All we need in two bottoms and a few tops. Then organise a proper day of shopping." Naz said with a tired sigh, which Sasha knew was more than the frustration of the finding outfits for Ashley.

"You ok?" Sasha asked.

"Yeah, why?" Naz replied.

"You and Mike seemed off this morning." Sasha told her. Naz made a face as she clearly didn't want to talk about it. But she did.

"I got a little frazzled by the storm last night. I woke up and forgot where I was for a moment. It was not fun." Naz told her, Sasha had empathy for her as she knew what it was like to wake up and forget where one was.

"It not easy to acclimate after being where you've been for the last few years to this. So, be easy on yourself." Sasha told her.

"I'm trying." Naz told her, Sasha gave her an empathetic smile as she knew how tough it was. But before she could give any advice, Ashley stepped out of the change room.

"What do you think?" Ashley asked as she held out her arms to show off her outfit.

"Oh, I like it. How does it feel?" Sasha asked Ashley as the girl stood in denim blue skinny jeans that were just a touch loose and too long. Even so, they looked good as Ashley didn't look like she was being strangled by her jeans. She had a loose fitted, purple crew neck sweater with a long t-shirt underneath that poked its hem from the bottom of the jumper.

"Ok," Ashley said cautiously.

"Colours are great, here." Naz said as she picked up a long necklace from the accessories rack. She hung it on Ashley's neck and turned the girl back to the mirror. "See, just breaks up the outfit; so it doesn't look like you are just a block of colour." Naz told her.

"It's good." Ashley told her as she touched the necklace.

"This cardigan you have to try just for my sake." Sasha held out Pink and Grey geometric cardigan to her. "You don't have to like it, you just gotta put it on." she told Ashley.

"That would go well with the midi white dress." Naz told her.

"Ok." Ashley said as she took the cardigan. While she might have looked reluctant. She did look secretly happy.

* * *

Mike stood in the kitchen looking at the clock that read 11:30am, they were going to be late. But he let it go as Naz had been helping Ashley, from what Naz and Sasha said before Sasha left; Ashley was happier than she had been. So, it was worth being late but he was nervous.

"Ok, I'm done." Naz said a little breathless as she came out the bedroom carrying a pair of nude heels in her good hand.

"You look beautiful." Mike told her, Naz gave a smile as she smoothed down her dress with the other hand. It looked like an awkward affair given the arm was in a removable cast.

But it didn't stop Mike's appreciation as She wore a white broderie anglaise dress that had a crew neckline, fitted elbow length sleeves, fitted waist band and gathered skirt that finished just below her knees.

Her hair was in half up, half down do. Her make up accentuate her natural beauty and glow. She just looked healthy and well rested thanks to the magic of makeup. She looked happy, which he knew couldn't be faked with makeup.

"Thank you." Naz said before she smiled warmly and blushed.

"You bringing a jacket?" he asked her as he picked up his car keys.

"I'm fine. I have a slip under the dress to keep me warm. Wanna see it?" she asked teasingly.

"Later." He promised her as she managed to arouse him with just a mere thought of a slip dress. He really needed to keep his cool instead of being a giddy teenager who just discovered sex for the first time.

"I like your sweater." Naz said with a smile as she playfully pulled on his jumper.

"Thanks, let's go." Mike said casually as he could, but Naz saw right through it but she didn't say anything. Instead she smiled as she followed him out the house.


	37. Chapter 37

 

20 minutes later, they were driving past sprawling estates. It was a whole other world as it looked like it remained unaffected by the past three years. Lawns were green and immaculate, gardens growing beautifully. Gardeners out in the sun working to keep it all in check.

"Are we ok, after last night?" Naz asked Mike, they had been driving in companionable silence since they left the house.

"I'm ok, but I am worried about you." He said honestly.

"I'm just going to need time to acclimate back to reality not just society." Naz said in serious manner, Mike nodded as he completely understood. He only had one trip on Nostos but it was enough to give him a taste.

"I know, but you can talk to me instead of just-"

"Sex?" Naz asked with a wry smile.

"Yeah, not that I'm complaining but sex isn't therapy." Mike told her.

"It's a therapy of sorts but I agree with what you're trying to say." Naz said, her stomach churned as she didn't want to have this conversation. She didn't want to overanalyse it. "It's just hard to talk about that time of life, it seems ridiculous that I was a cop for years and never once did I wake up in a panic. One tiny war and a drug habit later, I can't handle a simple thunder storm." Naz told him.

"It wasn't a tiny war. It was a pandemic followed by war to stop the genocide of innocent people. It's different type of trauma to endure. We don't get training for apocalyptic scale events." Mike argued as he didn't want her to diminish herself or what she had endured. He wanted her to accept it at face value and know her strength for being able to keep moving and breathing even when it hurt.

"No, we don't." Naz agreed.

"Nothing wrong with a headshrinker to clear out the clutter. I'm going to check in with one in the next couple of weeks. Maybe we can find one together." Mike suggested.

"We already need couple's therapy?" Naz teased, Mike grinned but shook his head.

"No, but it wouldn't hurt to see the same person separately. I'll ask around for a name." Mike said as he turned down the side road.

"I'd appreciate that." Naz told him, even though she felt apprehensive about it. "So, how far do we have to go?" she asked him.

"Not far, but we'll have to walk to the house." He said as he nodded his head towards where many cars were currently parked in a crowded manner.

"I'll put on my shoes." Naz said, Mike parked the car a couple minutes later, they stepped out of the car. He estimated they had a leisurely 10 to 15 minute walk ahead of them.

"How late are we?" Naz asked as they got out of the car and started walking.

"It starts at twelve and we go about ten minutes to go." He told her, he held out his right hand to her. She smiled at the simple gesture as she took it in her left.

"We'll have to take it slow." She said, her shoes already pinching. She really wished she hadn't gotten it into her head that she had to wear heels. But, she wanted to look a certain way and boots weren't going to cut it.

"No problem." Mike replied.

* * *

Sasha felt something tug on the leg of her high waist, dusty rose pink, tapered cigarette suit pants. She had a loose white singlet tucked into the waist band and matched the outfit with a pair of nude heels and a light grey denim moto jacket. Her hair out in loose waves, she was exhausted but she felt like her veneer was perfect. Three hours in front of mirror making sure she looked perfect, proved it was worth the effort. She looked down to the source and found Frankie at her feet dressed in cute tan chinos and a blue shirt with suspenders.

"You Pretty." Frankie told Sasha.

"Awwh, thank you." Sasha said with a smile, Frankie held up his arms at her in the most adorable and demanding manner.

"Me up, now." He demanded. Sasha snorted a laugh as she obliged the boy. She sat him on her hip and looked at him.

"How are you?" She asked him.

"He's trouble." Kara said a little breathless as she joined them. She and Sasha exchanged a brief hello before they turned their attention to Frankie.

"Frankie seems to be in good spirits." Sasha said, she tickled Frankie's belly, the little boy giggled in joy. A sound that was incredibly uplifting. She looked back to Kara and couldn't help but note the dark circles under Kara's eyes that concealer could not cover. Her hair was styled back in the military do of a tight low bun which told Sasha the woman had been operating on low sleep and put her hair back out reflex of years of service. Wake up, put ones hair away as quickly and efficiently as possible. Even so, she wore a beautiful red and black floral summer dress with a dark cream knitted cardigan and brown cowboy boots. It was an interesting look, but somehow it just worked for the woman.

"Yes, well he had a nice nap and some of his lunch. Now, he wants to play with all his aunties and uncles." Kara said with such love and exhaustion at the same time.

"You know, I wouldn't mind hanging out Frankie for an afternoon. Just so you can have some 'Mommy' time." Sasha casually offered, as she did; Frankie pulled on her hair that was loose making her wince. Also making her rethink her offer for a microsecond. It also explained the other reason Kara wore a bun.

"No hair pulling, Frankie." Kara gently chastised Frankie as she gave Sasha an apologetic smile. "Sorry." She said as she helpfully pushed Sasha's hair over to one side so Frankie would be discouraged. Luckily, just the look of on Kara's face was enough for the boy to not attempt it again.

"It's ok. How are you?" Sasha asked her, Frankie rested his head on her shoulder as he hugged her. Somehow, him being cute made his actions quickly forgiven.

"Honestly?" Kara asked in a low voice.

"Promise never to tell a soul." Sasha told her.

"Exhausted. I really wanted to stay home but-"

"Mandatory social attendance." Sasha said, Kara nodded they both wore commiserating looks as no one actually wanted to be at the party. They wanted R&R, to celebrate later when the rest of world could join in. But SECNAV wanted a party, so here they all were.

"Yes, but at least there is real food. Do you think it's poor form if I stuff my purse full of it?" Kara asked her in amusement.

"Yes, but everyone is doing it. I've already squirreled away my dinner in my bag that's in the coat room. I know for a fact that Miller is not happy to see us and that's probably meatballs in his pocket." Sasha said, Kara burst out laughing.

"He needs a girlfriend with a large purse." Kara quipped.

"He certainly does." Sasha said with a smile, Frankie just watched them with a smile on his face. He might not understand all the words but he knew what was happening around him was good and worthy of smiling.

"Oh my god, I'm so glad I found you two." Alisha said as she joined them, she had a plate piled high with food. "SECNAV has the hots for Naz, does he not see the engagement ring? I know the diamonds are small but she's been waving it in his face like a 'f- off' sign." Alisha said with glee that it made the others smile.

"Naz and Mike are here?" Sasha asked, she looked around and smiled as she saw the couple at the far side of the garden. Naz wrapped her arms around one of Mike's, leaning in as a clear message of who she was with. SECNAV just kept chatting, completely oblivious though she was sure he was just faking it as he was too observant to not see it. "I see them." Sasha remarked.

"They are engaged?" Kara asked in mocking surprise.

"Yes, I overheard that it happened the day we got back." Alisha said as she begrudgingly pulled a $20 note from the back pocket of the jeans she was wearing and passed it to Kara.

"A lot of money is changing hands today." Kara said in appreciation as she pocketed the cash.

"You bet on them?" Sasha asked as Kara had been adamant about staying out of the gossip and speculation.

"Frankie's college fund." Kara said with an unapologetic shrug.

"I don't know how you knew." Alisha said to Kara in disbelief. "I knew they were together and were going to get it on but marriage? Hell no." she added before she ate a mini tart from her plate.

"Captain's a traditionalist." Kara said as if it were enough evidence.

"I didn't think he was that strict or even religious." Alisha said with a frown, she seemed to have a light bulb moment. Sasha wondered if the woman had figured out that it was a green card arrangement. "Or, they were doing the dirty on the ship and she's pregnant. So, instead of dating and taking their time; he had put a ring on it quick." Alisha mused, Sasha relaxed as assumptions went it was standard.

"Or they could be deeply in love. They wouldn't be the first romance to happen on the Nathan James." Kara argued with a smile.

* * *

"Engaged?" Joshua asked Naz in disbelief, Naz nodded as she had just rebuffed the man's third offer for a date to some social event in the next few weeks. She'd only been talking with him for the last fifteen minutes and she was exhausted.

"Mike asked me when we got back. It was very romantic and we couldn't be happier if we tried." Naz said, Mike nodded while he tried not to show how much he was enjoying this. The rubbing it in the SECNAV's face that he couldn't get everything he wanted. SECNAV blinked and looked at the ring as he wore a mixed expression of resignation and conniving.

"Well, this is great. Two war heroes marrying and starting a new chapter together in America. It'll be great PR for the Navy. It's be amazing if you'd gotten engaged to Tom Chandler, one war hero redeeming another but this will do." Joshua told her, as if he were selling her the idea.

"Rather trite, don't you think?" Naz asked him, she felt offended not just for herself but Mike as well. Yet he took the insult like water running off a duck's back.

"People love a good romance story especially when it's of someone they idolise. You are an idol, Tom is an idol in need of redemption." Joshua told her.

"Do you not get that I'm marrying this man?" Naz asked Joshua gesturing to Mike. "But you feel free to marry to Tom Chandler. I think you two would make a great looking couple." Naz added, Joshua blinked at her, before he laughed.

"Of course, the Navy is progressive but not that progressive. What I'm suggesting is if it doesn't work out between you and Captain Slattery, then you should think about Tom. Or even me, the things we could do together would be magnificent." Joshua told her.

"I'm right here." Mike said, his amusement evaporating as he went from feeling smug to being demeaned. Joshua smiled and slapped Mike on the shoulder. A brave move given their size differences.

"I don't see my relationship with Mike as something disposable. I love him and I'm fully invested with him. So, I'd appreciate it if you would respect that." Naz told Joshua, Mike relaxed at her sentiments. She said it was such conviction that he almost believed her. Part of him actually wanted to believe it. But he brushed it off and kept his head in the game.

"Of course, my apologies. It's just that Military has one of the highest divorce rate. I mean, look at yourself." Joshua gestured at Naz. "You're beautiful, you saved lives and she's a public figure without even trying." he told her, Naz tensed at his suppositions as she knew what he was doing. He just wanted to parade her around like the UK government after the war.

"I'm not interested in being a public figure. I just want to put the past behind me, move forward with Mike." Naz said, wishing she could be anywhere else and discussing anything else but this.

"With a nice quiet life." Mike said, standing up her. Joshua didn't look too happy about it.

"Just how I want it." Naz said as they smiled at one another.

"So, I can't even entice you into a large public wedding for you two?" Joshua asked taking a different tactic.

"No." Mike and Naz said in unison.

* * *

A while later,

"Sorry," Sasha said as she accidentally reached for the salad tongs as someone else. She turned and saw Tom to her right. He looked good dressed in a white button-down shirt and jeans. "Go ahead." She told him.

"You first." He said, Sasha picked up the tongs and piled some salad leaves on her plate. She wondered how much of the feast SECNAV had the table came out of cold storage that was meant for others. She brushed it away as she just wanted to be spoilt without the guilt.

"Thanks," she said as she passed the tongs to him. She wished she felt easy around him but instead she felt awkward and apprehensive. She couldn't help the tight knot of stress in her chest as she looked at him. Part of it was that she wasn't sure how to act around him, she didn't know what to expect from him. She certainly didn't want to know what his expectations of her were.

"I can't remember the last time I've seen this much food in one place." Tom said conversationally.

"16 months ago." She told him wryly, she chagrined at her faux pas. "You missed the banquet in yours and the Nathan James crew's honour." She informed him.

"I hope everyone enjoyed it." Tom remarked.

"It was good, even if we all weren't in a celebratory mood. But hey, no sense in wasting free food and booze." Sasha said, she hated how callous and bitchy she sounded as it wasn't hard to read between the lines.

"You know, one day, you'll cut me some slack." Tom joked as they finished piling their plates with food and moved away from the table. He followed her as she sat down at one of the empty tables that circled the backyard.

Majority of the crew were standing around drinking and talking. Some were playing with Frankie and the other kids to keep them entertained as their parents got a break to eat and socialise. They really were one big family. For better or worse they were all in it together.

"You'd be surprised how much slack I've cut you since the day I met you." Sasha said before she took a bite of her lunch. She wished that Naz or Azima were here to rescue her from the hole she was digging herself into. But Azima was flirting with Wolf who was holding Frankie in his arms. Naz was talking casually with Kara, while Mike was talking with Meylan and some bigwigs. "I didn't see Mira, did you?" Sasha asked changing the topic.

"She had to work a shift at the hospital. I asked Meylan about it." Tom said.

"I like Mira, I think she'd be sad to miss meeting Naz." Sasha said sticking to safe territory.

"Mmm, I'm sure. So, Ashley tells me that Mike and Naz are having a quickie wedding." He said between bites of his lunch.

"They want a small and simple ceremony." Sasha said.

"Seems a shame, just because it's there second marriage doesn't mean they shouldn't celebrate it as big as their first." Tom said.

"Naz's first wedding had over 400 people on her side alone." Sasha said wryly, she over sold the number for shock value. It worked as Tom's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"How could she know that many people?" Tom asked flabbergasted.

"Persian Weddings are big events and her one wish was for a small ceremony where she could enjoy the day with Mike. Quick ceremony followed by a nice dinner. Mike agreed, it's how they want to do it." Sasha said in a matter of fact manner.

"Wouldn't it be more fun to throw them a surprise wedding?" he asked her in a low and conspiratorial tone. The idea should've been thrilling as she saw what he was doing. But all she felt was stress as she didn't have the time to organising a wedding with her work schedule.

"No, they both hate surprises and don't want a surprise wedding with a boatload of guests." Sasha told him.

"I doubt that." Tom argued. "I think we as in everyone here minus the Admirals and SECNAV could use a wedding. A happy celebration of love, how many people on the Nathan James have gotten a happy ending out of everything that happened?" Tom asked her.

"I can only think of Kara and maybe Azima, if Wolf plays his cards right." Sasha remarked. She wasn't won by his argument as she knew what Mike and Naz wanted. They didn't want a big event. "But it's beside the point, Naz and Mike want what they want. I know you think you should be making grandiose gestures to make up for lost time, but you don't have to. It's selfish to make everyone here, including me; pool our time and resources for a huge wedding the couple don't want just because you have to make some grand gesture as a friend to Mike." Sasha told him.

"Wow, tell me how you really feel." Tom said dryly as he felt like Sasha had squashed his ego like a bug. She gave an aggravated sigh.

"It's about Naz and Mike. It's not about you and planning a surprise wedding won't salvage your reputation. It repair those cracks you feel in your relationships." She said, going after his ego so he'd drop the idea entirely.

"You think I'm using them." Tom said, reading between the lines very well and getting pissed at her accusation. Just when he thought they were getting to a better place she threw him into a tailspin.

"I think that you genuinely want to do something nice. If so, then do it but you're thinking way too big. Sure, be generous but let them have what they want and if you're looking for excuses to spend time with people then ask them out for a coffee or a beer. Not throw a wedding where you get to take a bow as people applaud your efforts." Sasha said, she felt like she was telling him off but she really wanted to make herself clear as she was frustrated by him. Frustrated at him forcing his way into being the centre of attention.

Maybe it wasn't his intention, but she knew if he did the big wedding for Mike and Naz, the two would thank him and a spotlight would shine on him and people would applause. Suddenly it wasn't about Mike and Naz, it was look at Tom and his magnificent organisational skills.

"Mike deserves something special." Tom said ignoring the sting of her words.

"What Mike and Naz have is special and it's theirs. Their celebration will be special no matter what. But how would you feel if Mike stomped over your wedding day plans and turned it into something you didn't want.?" Sasha asked him.

"I'm not going to do it, ok?" Tom asked her.

"Good," Sasha said with relief. "Anyway, don't you have enough on your plate with PTA and the dress code issues?" she asked acerbically.

"What's wrong with my wanting to be involved with my daughter's education and in trying to make her school life easier. She has another 5 years of school." Tom said, feeling incredibly defensive.

"Nothing, but maybe you should at least ask Ashley if she wants you fighting this." Sasha told him.

"She talk to you about it?" Tom asked, he wondered where he got the reputation of being a meddler as that was what Sasha was throwing at him.

"No, I just remember when I was a teenager. I did not like when my Mum threw her weight and money around to get things done." Sasha said with a shrug.

"I forgot that you were a trouble child." Tom said with a smile.

"I'm not interested in rehashing my childhood." Sasha told him as the thought of rehashing the past made her feel nauseous.

"I think-" Tom started.

"Call General Quarters, Tom is thinking." Andrea joked as she sat down at their table, Darius came and sat down next to her with a grin. Sasha was grateful for them joining the table as she needed someone to distract her from the tension and stress pent up in her.

"What is Tom thinking?" Darius asked, Sasha smiled as she liked Darius. He didn't understand half the Navy lingo or how the military worked but he could charm the knickers off a Nun.

"I was thinking of a surprise wedding for Mike and Naz." Tom said, he wanted to see what the others thought. Darius and Andrea made stink face at the idea.

"No." Darius told him firmly.

"Terrible idea." Andrea said in agreement.

"It would be a celebration." Tom argued, as he couldn't believe his friends were knocking back his idea like he'd suggested he give the couple a dog turd covered in glitter as a wedding present.

"For who?" Andrea asked him, her tone thick with skepticism.

"Hmm, Andrea and I had this conversation as I am one for large celebrations of life whether it be a birthday, wedding and or anniversary. But Andrea also reminded me that the crew just go their first R&R in over two years." Darius said.

"They want to go and spend it with their family and friends. Decompress and relax away from each other. I know I could use a holiday away from my work." Andrea said with a sigh.

"Remind me why we suffer through this?" Mike asked the table as he and Naz appeared at their table; plates of food in their hands. The two sat down on Sasha's side. Both looking exhausted and grateful to be off their feet.

"Naz, I love your outfit." Andrea told her from across the table.

"Thanks, I do wish I went for flats as I've been sinking in the grass all day." Naz said with a wry smile.

"I am wearing boots." Andrea said smugly.

"I wish I had been that smart. Can someone tell me what's going on with these waffles?" Naz asked as she had a piece of it stuck to her fork.

"Chicken waffles, just think shredded chicken cooked in waffle mixture. It's an abomination." Darius told Naz.

"It's delicious." Andrea assured her before she took a bite of her own meal.

"Our baby will have my refined palate." Darius told Andrea, she gave him an incredulous look.

"You drank mouldy water from the bottom of your beer fridge at work last week." Andrea reminded him, proving her point that he didn't have a refined palate at all.

"I was proving a point to my staff." Darius argued.

"Which was?" Naz asked, the question that everyone at the table wanted to hear the answer to.

"I have an iron gut and you drink and that the fridge needs to be cleaned and repaired." Darius remarked.

"He doesn't have an Iron gut." Andrea pointed out, she shot him a look as he wore a pout at her for ruining his story. "You were sick all night." She told Darius, others at the table chuckled in amusement.

"But they didn't know that." Darius argued.

"Hopefully, your kid will have Andrea's brains and common sense." Mike quipped to Darius.

"So, we were talking weddings. Andrea and I have been engaged in several negotiations about ours. We'd like some other point of views. Tom thinks bigger the better, Sasha thinks that I should let Andrea have her way entirely. thoughts?" Darius asked Mike.

"You should find a compromise where both parties come out happy with some concessions. But I think smaller is better." Mike said, Naz nodded in agreement while she continued to eat.

"But what about the crew?" Tom asked him.

"What about them?" Mike asked between bites of his lunch.

"They are family, I think they'd love to see you two get married as much as they would Andrea and Darius." Tom argued.

"Sure, but the crew deserves time off to have a holiday to wherever they want without feeling beholden to my life. I want them to go and be wherever they want to be. My marriage to Naz, is ours not theirs." he gestured to Naz and himself "We've discussed it and we want a small ceremony with our closest friends and their partners followed by dinner." Mike said with a closed lip smile. "Civilian attire, relaxed and low key afternoon and dinner." He added, he loved the idea of just having a relaxed ceremony without having to worry about drunk wedding guests, seating charts or any of the major dramas that came out of a large wedding.

He looked at Naz, she gave him a closed lip smile before she continued to eat. He just wanted it to be just them, a couple witnesses and a justice of the peace. Then a nice, relaxed dinner afterwards as he didn't need to start this chapter off with a bang. He just wanted her and a life with her as her husband. That notion was startling but yet at the same time he was content and satisfied. Something he hadn't felt in a long time.

Sure, he had stress and concerns just like everyone else. He was normal and had problems but in general he felt calm about how his life was shaping. He could see it all panning out for the next few years, it looked like it was going to be ok.

"I can't believe you abandoned me for fried chicken waffles." Meylan griped at the table as he joined them.

"Among other things, you looked like you were having fun." Mike drawled mockingly as Meylan made a sour face.

"Do you know how repugnant those men are? They comment on how I'm not dark enough to really be considered 'entirely black'. What does that even mean? Should I feel as offended as I do?" Meylan asked.

"You are fairly pale." Naz said, Meylan flipped her the bird and the two knew it was in good humour.

"I'm darker than you." Meylan told her.

"Well, according to Base Commander's wife, I'm too swarthy for Mike." Naz half joked, Meylan made a face while the others felt uncomfortable.

"Yeah, I give her a wide berth since the last function we were at, she asked me I wanted to put my dark chocolate in her milk." Meylan said, everyone at the table winced and cringed at everything that was wrong with that sentence.

"Oh, why do we have to share our base with that woman. She is ferociously uncouth." Andrea said making a face of disgust.

"I'm so glad that she is not here today. Now, speaking of people not here. My better half wants a photo of you two." Meylan said looking at Mike and Naz. "She doesn't believe that Mike has broken his vow of celibacy." He joked, Mike glowered at him.

"I took no such vow." Mike told him.

"Yet, you turned down all her beautiful nurse and doctor friends. For her." Meylan said as he pulled out his iPhone.

"Why do you say it like I'm roadkill in comparison to your wife's hot friends?" Naz asked him.

"Well, you scrub up ok." Meylan told her, she flipped him the bird which the others laughed."Now, get the ring in the picture and smile." Meylan told them, Naz and Mike posed for the photo, smiles on their face. "A little less teeth Mike, you're looking a little crazy." Meylan mocked, after a few other 'pro' tips the photo was taken. "Perfect." He told them.

"Send me a copy of picture, Man Ray." Mike said in a dry manner. His mobile phone pinged as Meylan sent him the picture. "Thanks." Mike said.

"Mira sends her love and congratulations by the way. She's going to crash your hen's night." Meylan told them before he pocketed his iPhone and sat back in his chair.

"I look forward to meeting her." Naz said as she didn't mind who showed up for the hen's party. "Though, I can't remember when we're having it." she added.

"Next Friday," Sasha said, deciding on the spot.

"I'll text her the details given we'll be having it at Darius' restaurant." Andrea told Meylan.

"Mi casa es su casa, I know how to throw a party. Good food, best moonshine in Norfolk and we're only a block away from the nightclubs and Salsa clubs." Darius said, promoting his business.

"I like the sound of that." Naz said with a smile.

* * *

Several hours later,

Naz flopped onto the couch beside Mike; exhausted to the bone. But feeling pretty good as she had gorged herself on the food at the party. So much so, there was no need for dinner.

"That was a long day." Naz said as she curled her feet under her and leaned into Mike. He wrapped a lazy arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer into his side as they both relaxed.

"It was, but a good one." He told her.

"I really liked your speech." Naz told him as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"You should hear Tom speak, he gives the best speeches." Mike said.

"I don't know. I liked the part where you said…" She drew the words from her memory. "This may be the last time we're all together, but no matter what the future holds, no matter how far we travel. A small part of us and our stories will forever remain on the Nathan James just as we'll carry a piece of her in our memories for rest of our days. To the very best crew a Captain could have." Naz said, mimicking his inflections but thankfully not his accent. She gave a relaxed sigh. "I really liked that." She told him.

"It wasn't too bad." Mike accepted, he hadn't wanted to give a speech but SECNAV called him up. Mike knew it was unrealistic for all the crew to return after their R&R. That many would move onto new positions or be forced into transfers to other posts given how thin the Navy was stretched. So, it was good to say a few final words.

"I have to ask, are you are ok with a small wedding ceremony?" she asked him, Tom's odd conversation has made her wonder if he was up to something.

"Yes. I've spent the last two years sacrificing my life and time to larger causes. This wedding, this marriage is for me and you. Not them, not the Navy or the human race. I want it to be ours." He told her as he rubbed her back in a soothing manner, it more for his sake than her own. But he did enjoy just relaxing on the couch with her.

"Then it will be ours. I know how stressful big weddings are and how you can feel lost the crowd; thanking everyone. I don't regret my wedding to Elias, but I do love the idea of our small wedding." Naz said with a smile.

* * *

Sasha returned to her quarters and kicked off her shoes before she walked to her fridge. She stored away the food she'd take from the party and pulled out a ginger beer. She popped the cap off and took a long pull and gave a sigh as she was happy to be home. BOQ weren't really warm or cozy but it was her space. She walked over the bed and climbed in, not bothering to get changed as she just needed a moment to decompress. To breathe, it seemed to work as the first sip eased the knot of tension inside her.

She clicked on the TV and tuned into an old episode of Stargate Atlantis. She wasn't a big sci-fi fan but she just needed something to zone out to and all the other channels were adverts.

Twenty minutes into the episode, she wished she lived in a whole other galaxy. She had to admit the apartments didn't look half bad and the ocean views were as stunning as the architecture. She wasn't so sure how she felt about the aliens with life sucking vagina hands… but it had to be preferable to living on Earth at the moment.

She felt her thoughts go dark, as she thought about Tom. How close she was to verbally tearing him to shreds. She wished she could get over herself and her problems with him. He still left her angry and twisted with bitterness.

She knew what she needed, a new mission on another continent. Far, far away from America and Tom. What she truly wanted was a clean slate, a fresh start where she could be happy, where the weight of the world wasn't weighing heavily on her shoulders.

The only time she felt that she could be happy was when she was away from work, Tom and not thinking about either of them. When she hung out with Naz and the crew, she felt a part of their world. Somewhere, where she belonged. She had times where she was genuinely happy.

Then Tom came back, all she could think was how he kept shifting the focus back to his problems, his dramas. She understood why he left, she understood the breadth of his pain better than before. But she wondered how she could be friends with a man who wanted to swim in his grief, to use it to fuel his anger and find dramas and fights to keep himself in a perpetual state of stress. She didn't want to be sucked into his world if he was incapable of being happy and living a more peaceful existence.

* * *

"I'm full." Ashley told Tom before he could even ask they wanted him to make a shake of soylent for dinner. Sammy was already halfway up the stairs to his bedroom.

"Thank you for coming today and behaving well." Tom said sincerely to them.

"We know how it goes." Ashley told him, he frowned as she made it sound like it was a chore. Maybe it was for her, which made him think that maybe next time he'd ask or organise a babysitter; so, the kids didn't have to go.

"Thanks anyway. I do appreciate it." Tom told her.

"Yep, I'm going to go bed early." Ashley said.

"Ash, come sit with me for just a minute." Tom said as he gestured to the couch. Ashley sat on the opposite end to him and looked apprehensive.

"Did I do something wrong?" Ashley asked him, Tom shook his head.

"No, I was wondering how you felt about me going to PTA, trying to change the dress code." He said, hoping she would give him an honest answer.

"It's your business." She said pragmatically, while at the same time not answering his question at all.

"I'm doing it for you." Tom told her.

"Not really, I mean I get that you think you're helping future girls or whatever. But Naz made it pretty clear that it's impossible to please everyone. That I'll be met with prejudice due to my gender no matter what I wear or what I do. I can't win, I dress conservatively and I'm a dork. I dress slutty and I'm trying too hard and must like boys staring at my ankles. Can't win." Ashley said with a shrug.

"It's not really the point of it. I don't want you to think that you can't win." Tom said a little confused and not sure whether he should approve of everything Naz said or not.

"Naz said that it's like way better to dress conservatively and smart for school and work. She said that it might be a pain but it's just a fact of life if I want a job in a serious workplace. I need to dress like the person I want to become. I don't want to be the girl who just skates by on her looks. Sasha half agreed, she said I could wear whatever I wanted to in my own time. That whatever people think of my outfit is a reflection on them, not me." Ashley said.

"I'm not sure what to think of that." Tom said as he felt like Sasha and Naz were teaching Ashley on how to live in an oppressive society. But then, he never truly took the time to appreciate the latitude his gender gave him. While he was progressive enough to believe women were his equal. He still had moments where he had strong views against women gaining equality. They were based on the social constructs that were built into him over the years.

"They said a lot of stuff. I like them as they really make me think about the image I want to present to the world." Ashley told him.

"Your image?" he asked.

"Yeah, Naz and Sasha agree that perception is everything. If I feel comfortable in my clothing and skin, then I will look and feel confident. They just want be myself and be comfortable. I like that." Ashley said.

"That's fair. But do you want me to drop the fight for the dress code?" he asked.

"It's up to you, I know how you need something to fight. You always win, for most part." Ashley said with a shrug.

"I don't need to fight." Tom told her, she snorted a laugh.

"Yeah you do, Dad. It's why you're in the Navy, why you saved the world and couldn't give up even when the Red Rust happened. I just don't get why you don't fight for your own social life." Ashley told him.

"I have a social life." Tom lied, he just didn't like his teenage daughter pointing out his lack of a life.

"No, you don't. You know, you could start dating again. Like genuinely date someone you like, not because they are the closest woman around who's under 50 yrs old." Ashley informed him, it stung for him to have Ashley judge him so harshly. But she wasn't wrong. Cali was nice but she had been the only woman under 50 who wasn't a Nostos addict.

"What do you know about dating?" Tom asked incredulously, he hoped the answer was nothing as he couldn't handle the idea of her dating. She was too young.

"More than you." Ashley informed him.

"Should we be talking about it?" Tom asked her.

"No, Mom told me I couldn't date boys until I was 16. I assume it's the same for if I dated a girl?" Ashley asked him, Tom blinked as he was not ready for this conversation.

"Do you want to date girls?" he asked, unsure of if he wanted to know his little girl was becoming a sexual being let alone what her preference was. Ashley gave a noncommittal shrug.

"I don't know." She replied.

"Did Sasha or Naz give you advice on this?" he asked out of curiosity.

"Naz said to keep an open mind about life and food. That I should always keep mad money in my purse for when I get angry at the moron that I have to get home on my own. Sasha told me that you don't want me dating until after you're dead." Ashley said with a smile, Tom glowered as he knew his daughter was being a smart ass.

"Not true, I think 16 is old enough for dating with conditions applied. But we'll discuss that when we get there." Tom said, comfortable that he had a good year and half before he had to worry about it.


	38. Chapter 38

 

"Ok, let's go over the list." Mike said as he and Naz sat on the couch five days later with two glasses of red wine and their to-do list for their upcoming wedding.

"Flowers, check. Photographer, check. Dinner is in Darius' hands as we have the ceremony on a Monday night. I have Sasha's dress, my shoes and what not." Naz said as she looked at their to-do list with a pen in hand. Her legs swung over Mike's lap.

"I got my own suit." Mike said, Naz crossed it off the list.

"We have wedding bands." She said, crossing another item off the list. "We can't book the Officiant until we have a licence and a date in mind. My green card should be here some time in the next two weeks. Maybe later as SECNAV was banking on me dumping you. I can see him sticking it to me, for rejecting him." She added.

"He can be callous but you said immigration were happy to rubber stamp you." Mike said, assuring her. He knew she was worried about the other shoe dropping. That not being on SECNAV's friends list didn't help. But he knew the SECNAV didn't control everything. He felt like it would all fall into place. He wanted to believe that something good would happen for Naz.

"Politics are a mystery to me." Naz said, she flexed her feet and fidgeted a little. Mike smoothed his hands down the front of her lower legs before he caught one of her feet and stopped it from moving. She gave him an apologetic smile as she relaxed.

"Same, but we know it will be a Monday." Mike told her, Naz gave a warm smile.

"Yes, we do. Guest list?" she asked him, she looked back to the page in her hand.

"I'd really like Andrea, Darius, Sasha, Russell, Meylan and his wife; Mira." Mike told her, she nodded writing the list of names on the side.

"Tom?" Naz asked out of curiosity, Mike made a face as he'd been trying to decide whether he wanted Tom there or not. Tom was his friend but there was still fraught tension with them. He didn't like how Tom wanted to explode out his wedding. He didn't need Tom planning some elaborate surprise adding around 195 people to the guest list. Then there was his kids.

"It means we have to have their kids too. You wanted Azima?" he asked her as he remember her saying she wanted Azima to be invited.

"She said that she wanted to have my hen's party this Friday as Burk and the boys are going west for a couple weeks of sun and fun. She wants to go with them." Naz told him with a half shrug. She didn't mind that Azima was skipping out as Naz just wanted to be married, the guests were rather superfluous to her.

"So, you should be sober just in time for Halloween on Saturday." Mike teased, Naz gave an apologetic smile as she shrugged.

"Yeah, I hope so. But no promises, as I know it's going to be a messy night." Naz said as she sank further into her side of the couch. "But I've made the lollipops and I have a tasteful costume." She assured him.

"I'll have Tylenol and Soylent at the ready to get you back on your feet." Mike told her in amusement, he watched a light blush grace her cheeks. He couldn't see what she'd need to blush over but he had learnt that the simplest gestures seemed to touch her greatly.

"Ok, the Guest list. We were discussing Tom." Naz said, she noticed his reticence as it opened the door to more guests. Then when did the list stop growing? And if they managed to keep it small, they'd still have two kids bored out of their brains. "Maybe we could pay for a sitter and keep the party for adults only. That way we're not opening the door on who should and shouldn't be invited." She suggested.

"I hate that I feel bad for wanting a small celebration." Mike confessed.

"I know, but you have to remember it's our day." Naz said pointing between him and herself. "We get to do it our way and everybody else can like it or lump it." She told him.

"Adults only." Mike said, settling the earlier question altogether. He just hoped Tom didn't take it personally that Mike didn't want Sammy or Ashley there.

"Ok, we have our guest list." Naz said ticking another off the list.

"Honeymoon?" Mike asked in amusement.

"Take the phone off the hook, close the curtains and have sex. Lots of sex." Naz said writing it on the page much to Mike's amusement. He chucked as he watched her underline 'lots of sex'. Well, he assumed it was what she was underlining, to make it clear that it was important.

"Just when I thought our list was getting shorter. You add to it." Mike said with an amused expression as he sipped his glass of wine.

"A 'to do' list is never ending." Naz informed him in a teasing manner.

"What else can we tick off?" he asked her.

"Not that I can see." Naz replied.

"Ok, quiz time." Mike said, Naz gave a groan as she dropped her head back.

"No." Naz whimpered, Mike smiled.

"Yes, which event do we celebrate on the 4th of July?" Mike asked her, she gave him a dark look as he'd started quizzing her to make sure she was doing her homework. She appreciated it but she didn't need a quiz every day.

"The signing of the Declaration of Independence." Naz replied, Mike rolled his hand at her in a gesture that said he wanted a longer answer. "Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and John Adams all wrote that the Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4, 1776." Naz answered.

"Very good. I'll make an American out of you." Mike quipped.

* * *

"How are you going in here?" Cho asked Sasha, she pulled off her headphones and rested them on the table.

"I'm going to be dreaming in Korean tonight." She told him, he wore an amused smile.

"Anything useful?" Cho asked.

"I have a great recipe for Bibimbap, otherwise nothing. There's no central theme to the conversations to suggest a code. The conversations are all casual everyday going ons. Office politics, main concerns seem to be finding more resources for their people. I don't think they have enough resources to be a serious threat." Sasha told him. Cho gave a nod even thought he looked frustrated as she felt about the situation.

"They still have nukes." Cho argued, Sasha nodded as it was true.

"Which they have never used not even during the Pandemic. They've always stated that their Nukes were for defensive purposes only. I think we need to direct our energy to countries who have serious issues with us in the past and now have the motivation to attack us given our weakened state." Sasha advised.

"Russia is looking less likely." Cho added thoughtfully.

"I know Peter says we should forget about South America. But maybe we shouldn't. We have years of bad blood with them. It's easier for to transport weaponry and nukes down south than it is across to Asia. A smart enough leader could've sent in immune people across the boards to steal the nukes and take it back down while the pandemic was in full swing" Sasha argued, her mind had been spinning out possible scenarios where South America could build itself into a superpower.

"They have been making strides in stabilising their continent. Finally, the ground is nearly even. If the countries in South America came together and formed a coalition; they'd have a large enough force to invade us." Cho said thoughtfully.

"It feels insane to be here talking about this. I've seen the resentment for the US, I've felt it when I was on the Continent in Europe; when I was in Asia. We're truly hated US because the cure was too little too late for them. They despised us because we told them the cure was for the world but we took months in manufacturing and delivering it. They don't understand why it took so long. If they did, maybe they'd let it go but I understand their resentment. All we need is for them all to pool their resources and one event to set them off." Sasha said.

"Here we are have no border control, our coast guard is a joke." Cho said.

"SECNAV has publicised how great our military is but the reality is that we're spread thin and one nuke landing here in Norfolk. That would decimate the Navy which 70% of US' Military forces." Sasha said. Cho nodded as he saw her reasoning and concern.

"Put a pin in North Korea. I want you to join the team of analysts; focus on South America for the next couple days. See, if maybe there is something we've overlooked." Cho told her, he tapped her door frame and left the room.

"Yes, Sir." Sasha mumbled tiredly, her phone beeped with a message. She picked it up and read the message. She made a face as she texted a reply, just another thing she didn't want to do was added to her list.

* * *

"You look pensive." Tom told Sasha as they sat in a café that afternoon. He had an hour to burn before the kids got home and he had no interest in the numerous chores or work he should've been doing. So, he called Sasha up and asked her out for a coffee.

"Nothing, just a long day inside of a dark room." She told him, she wished she hadn't come out for coffee. She was stressed enough with work, but sitting here, she felt the knot of tension in her chest twist more tightly. She pinched the bridge of her nose and tried not to rub her eyes as she didn't want to smudge her make up or at worst get it in her eyes.

"No windows?" Tom asked, she felt freer in her dark office than she did outside having coffee with Tom.

"There are, and you know I can't talk about it. So, stop prying." Sasha told him, she felt a little trapped by his questions as there was no way she could get out of it the 'good guy'. She wondered why she had said 'yes' to being here when it felt like a chore. An obligatory meeting than an actual activity she wanted to do. She could only guess she felt maybe she'd be proven wrong and enjoy herself. But about ten minutes in, she was regretting it.

"I didn't call because I wanted to pry. I wanted to see you. Anyway, I've been watching the news and I think I know what's going on." Tom told her with a grin, Sasha was amazed how in one sentence he could make her feel simultaneously wanted and patronized.

"I still don't want to talk about it." Sasha told him before she took a sip of her drink.

"Come on, we're a good team. I'm an excellent sounding board. No one know if we talked about what's going on." He told her. He leaned on the table and gave her a boyish smile. The one said 'play with me'. What he was asking her to do was treason and career suicide.

"If this is how coffee is going to be. Then I'm going to go-" Sasha started, she had even put down her cup when Tom cut her off.

"No, stop. Sit and relax. I'm sorry." He told her sincerely.

"It's my job, Tom." She told him, she hated how oversensitive she sounded but she much preferred her life when everything was neatly compartmentalized. "I'm trying to keep my career from being a learning tool for future women on what not to do." She added snidely.

"What has that got to do with me?" he asked incredulously. "I asked you out for coffee cause I want to catch up and I feel like I'm getting my balls slowly twisted off." He added, half jokingly.

"My problem is that you only see our friendship as a stepping stone for your career or to a sexual relationship." Sasha told him truthfully. She felt stressed, tired and bitter as she looked at him. She wished she saw him as charming and could laugh but she looked at him with suspicion. She wondered what he was up to, why he was sitting across from her looking affronted.

"Whoa, that is not true." Tom argued.

"Really, you sit there with your shirt unbuttoned and hair looking messy. Smiling at me all coy as you think watching CNN makes you an intelligence officer working just as hard as I am. It's not cute, it's demeaning. I don't get what your end game is. But I despise being toyed with." Sasha informed him. Tom sat back with his hands in mock surrender.

"I apologise, I was going for flirty and light hearted but it seems like I'm out of touch with everything." He heaved a sigh as he looked to her. "So, I'll be honest, no games. Not that I was playing one with you to begin with."He argued, before he grew sincere. "I want to date you, I still find you attractive and feel we got something here worth exploring." Tom said honestly.

"I don't." Sasha said, the words popping out of her mouth surprising them both. She meant it. Tom looked taken aback by her rejection. "I'm trying to decompress for the past two and half years of hell. I need time to acclimate, something said the same thing to Naz." Sasha added as she should've been taking her own advice than pushing herself into work. Pushing herself into a friendship with Tom when she was clearly not ready.

"Everyone loves her and she is doing well for herself." Tom said sourly, Sasha knew he was just expressing his bitterness about her rejection than showing malice towards Naz. But it rankled Sasha's nerves and stirred her own resentment.

"Yes, your life is just a horrendous ordeal at the moment. I'm amazed you haven't run off the parts unknown already." Sasha sneered, she didn't know where her anger was coming from. But she was so tired of his 'woe is me' attitude.

"Low blow." Tom told her darkly.

"You're the one who left. I saw the exhibit, you grieving, fishing and dating. She's very pretty, I just don't know why you didn't stay in Greece. It looks like a beautiful place to live, you weren't alone and you had your peaceful moments there. You clearly didn't want to come back, so I don't see why you're even here." Sasha said, there was a sting to her words but he could also see she was being honest not malicious.

"It was for a time; home. If you ignore the lack of food and Nostos addicts, maybe it'd be a great place to live but America is home." Tom said.

"So, was that all you did with your 16 months?" Sasha asked him.

"There was my side mission, that everyone chooses to ignore than appreciate." He said.

"When have you ever cared about being appreciated by the bosses or needed a pat on the back for doing your job?" Sasha asked him.

"I feel it should be noted or at least taken into consideration given lately, I feel like I'm being hit with the stick than given a carrot." Tom told her, as she clearly had no idea what he'd been through nor understand who he was, his pain, nothing. She was just another person who felt entitled to blame him for her pain. He was tired of it.

"You could've said 'no' to the 'mission' and kept to what looked like a quiet and happy life. You left 16 months ago because you were burning out. You couldn't justify the losses, or even look at yourself and instead of staying out of it. You came back out of ego not some sense of responsibility or honor-" Sasha started but Tom cut her off.

"You don't know anything. So, back off." he told her, as she off on another planet. He was not going to be her punching bag.

"I would if you'd just grow the fuck up." Sasha said, the knot in her chest unbearable. She was failing at staying calm. She felt like her body was dumping adrenaline. It was not the time for such a reaction, it was an overeaction.

"That's rich coming from you. You slept with a guy you barely knew and he betrayed you. Now, you're acting petulant and distrusting of all men. Very mature." Tom said, getting in his licks.

"I also kissed your stupid ass and ended up being dumped on Mike's lap like an unwanted puppy. Don't think that you're Mr Perfect or better than Fletcher." Sasha told him.

"I never stopped loving you, I always wanted to be with you." Tom told her, a declaration that should've made her heart soar but instead made her feel sick to her stomach.

"You got a funny way of showing it. You didn't even ask me to go with you, 16 months ago. No, you left everything and everyone. Went to Greece and never once looked back, never picked up phone to leave a message. You moved on very quickly to other women." She held up her hands to stop him from defending himself. "You don't have to apologise for it, but don't act like you're the injured party here. That you're the one with his nose bent out shape when you got everything you wanted, just the way you wanted it." She said, needing to leave and yet her body struggled to get moving. Her arms and legs felt heavy and cold. Her head was spinning. She felt jittery.

"That is not true." Tom told her, Sasha scoffed at him. "I wanted to call, but it was never the right time. I wasn't in my right mind. When I was, it was too late. Too much time had passed and we made no promises, we weren't even in a relationship. You moved on too." Tom said.

"I did, because I wanted to be happy. I'm not sorry for moving on. I miss Fletcher, he was a fling but he was fun. The only time, I got to decompress and be a little selfish and laugh was around him. He may have betrayed me in the end but his reasons were just. He's not a villain as you want to paint him. He was a good soldier who followed his orders til the end." Sasha said as she took another sip of her drink. Hoping it would restore some strength.

"Are you kidding me?!" Tom asked incredulously as she made it sound like Fletcher was a hero. It completely mind boggled him.

"No, I would've done the same in his shoes. Orders are orders, I'm bound to my oath to America and the Navy just as he was to his own." Sasha said.

"You deserved better than that." Tom told her, he saw something snap in her demeanour, her back went rigid and she looked drawn and pale. He knew he'd hit a trigger in her.

"You have no clue what I do and don't deserve. If you did, then we wouldn't be here like this. So, don't presume to tell me how it should be." She told him in such a cold manner. Tom reared back surprised by the side of her, that he was seeing.

"I'm done, I think we need more time and space. You need to be more appreciative of what you got. I need time to relax and get over my issues that I have ignored until now." Sasha said as she rose from her chair. She tossed down enough money to cover her coffee and a tip. Her hands shaking, she felt colour drain from her face as she had to get away. She walked away from Tom, she heard him call her name but she didn't turn back as every fibre of her being told her to run.

Her heart pounded a million miles an hour, she was sure she was going to be sick. She picked up her pace, it wasn't until she was in the driver's side of her car that she managed to take a deep inhale and exhale. Even then, she didn't feel well, she flipped open her phone and called one person who wouldn't judge her.

* * *

"Sounds like a panic attack." Azima told Sasha, half an hour later. Sasha sat at the kitchen table watching Azima and Naz mess around in the kitchen. The two were making lollipops from scratch for Halloween. Sasha would've helped but her hands were still shaking.

She'd called Mike, luckily Azima was at his place with Naz as they were able to pick her and her car up; bringing her back to Mike's house. Mike didn't ask questions, instead he pretended for her vanity that something was wrong with her car as she claimed. Now, he was poking her car's engine.

Naz and Azima set her up with snacks of crackers when pickled and sun-dried vegetables. A cup of tea and a blanket around her shoulders. She felt a little better but overall, she felt drained and uneasy.

"I'm solid, no anxiety, some stress." Sasha said, she wrapped her hands around the warm cup of tea; Naz made for her. Even though she felt lousy, she did feel better being surrounded by her friends. She felt the warmth of their happiness surround her. She was glad she hadn't bucked up and tried to go it alone.

"You know there's a reason why people have R&R for more than a week." Azima said as she was mixing up food colours and laying edible flowers into lollipop molds.

"You guys have been working hard for over two years. That is a lot of sleep deprivation and high levels of stress. It's time to zen out." Naz said as she watched the pot of sugar that was melting.

"Which is why I am going west where Mary Jane legal there. It's perfect timing as my period is next week and for the first time in four years, I'll be able to afford to mellow out my angry uterus." Azima said with a serene smile.

"I think you all could use some temporary mellowing out. Anyway, don't be so hard on yourself." Naz said as she stirred a pot of melted sugar. "Tom is very stressful to be around, you said you only had two hours of sleep last night. You'd been at work since 6am this morning. Azima, the sugar is ready." She said, Sasha watched at the two were so in sync with one another. Naz stepped back and Azima picked up the pot by the handle and started pouring the hot liquid into different cups and into the molds.

"You probably had low blood sugar. I know Soylent is supposed to give us everything we need but just like being a vegan, it doesn't work for everyone." Azima told her, she was the one looking for medical excuses for why Sasha felt uneasy. While Naz looked at Tom as the source with Sasha's lifestyle choices factoring in.

"That is true, I became anaemic when I tried being vegan once. My body just can't digest all the nutrients I need from fruit and vegetables. Maybe you're not digesting the Soylent properly and you're becoming vitamin deficient." Naz suggested in a casual manner.

"I doubt it happens so quickly." Sasha said feeling unsure of herself.

"You never know but, I'd recommend Vitamin B12 shot. I'm not deficient, but when I was working long hours, I found it really helped put some pep in my step and knock the edge off caffeine nausea. It's an easy gamble." Naz told her.

"We were given vitamin B12 shots in Kenyan Navy to help with seasickness and for fatigue. It really does help." Azima said in agreement as she placed the pot back onto the stove and started helping Naz make marbled lollipops.

"Like I said before, I'd try the B12 shot first as no one would bat an eyelid at you asking for that. If you don't feel any better then stick yourself in for doctor's advice and having it all on the record." Naz said with a shrug.

"It's not a bad idea." Mike said as he walked into the kitchen from the garage.

"You eavesdropping?" Sasha asked him.

"I walked in at the end part." Mike said as he was wiping engine grease off his hands with a rag.

"How's my car?" Sasha asked him.

"Still in one piece and functioning perfectly. I'm changing the oil in my own car." He told her, he looked down at the lollipops that were starting to set.

"Don't even think about it." Naz warned him, Sasha smiled as the couple were adorable. She had to admit she had never seen Mike so relaxed and light hearted before. It was nice to know the man had a softer side.

"I thought you made enough before." He said with a frown.

"That was until the friendly reminder that came in the mail from my Arch-nemesis." Naz said in a dramatic manner that no one was truly worried about her. But they all played along for amusement.

"You've only been here for two weeks." Sasha said wryly, a smile on face.

"Candace Preston, I am going break her." Naz said making a determined expression.

"Not literally, I hope." Mike said as he got himself a glass of water.

"Of course not, I'm just going to outshine her wherever possible just to stick it to her." Naz said with a smile before she kissed Mike's cheek.

"I'm going back to the garage." Mike told them, he disappeared to the safety of the garage. The women laughed.

"You know, you can come home with tonight. I found a really good Nigerian restaurant that delivers in my area. We can put some stuffing back into you." Azima said to Sasha who felt the warmth of her friend's offer.

"I'd really like that." Sasha replied with a smile.

* * *

A few hours later,

"Curmudgeon." Naz said with enjoyment as she laid down tiles onto the board. Mike now understood why she had held her breath through his go. She needed two letters from word that were vertical to her layout. They had finished a quiet dinner before breaking out the game. Sasha and Azima had left hours ago.

"Been holding onto that one for a while?" He asked in amusement as he added the number to her score.

"You're letting me win on purpose. You know that I'll still have sex with you if I lose, right?" Naz asked him, she ran her foot up the back of calf under the table. Mike wasn't going to tell her that playing footsies with him under the table was distracting. Nor was he going to complain about the view as her loose singlet dress she wore to bed was gaping in a delectable manner. Yes, he wasn't on his game, but then his mind as well as other parts of him were thinking of her and a game that didn't involve scrabble tiles.

"I was not worried about that." Mike said with a smile, playing it cool.

"Then what's got you distracted? You're usually over 100 points ahead of me." Naz said pointing out what was usually the truth whenever they played.

"Just worried about Sasha, she wasn't herself. Someone has their foot in a distracting place." Mike pointed out as he reached under the table and caught her foot that was pressing up against his groin. He blew out a breath which was of pleasure. He pulled it up and onto his leg just so he could have more coherent thoughts.

"I finally know your Achilles heel in Scrabble." Naz said with a chuckle. Mike gave her a look. "You have no rule about no touching while playing scrabble." She reminded him before she grew serious. "As for Sasha, I'm worried too. But we can't do much for her, except be here for when she needs us." She said with a casual shrug. It belied her own demeanour as he knew she was just as worried as he was.

"I know." Mike said in agreement but it was hard to do nothing.

"Well, we can make sure she and Tom sit on opposite sides of the table. Far away from one another." Naz quipped, Mike snorted a laugh. He hoped it didn't come to that.

"Hopefully they'll work it out." Mike said as he played his tiles. "Now, are you going to stop distracting me from the game?" he asked her wryly.

"Excuse me? I'm not the one walking around the house commando in grey sweatpants." She told him, Mike frowned as he didn't get what she was trying to accuse him of. He honestly didn't think she had noticed, but he was wrong.

"So?" he asked.

"Please, it shows everything and it's very distracting. Especially while we're playing Scrabble. How am I supposed to think of words when you're just there with such easy access." She told him, Mike chuckled as he had never given it much thought before. He did it out of comfort not as an invitation. But then he looked at her top. Silently pointing out her tactics to her which she was using to distract him. She grinned as she leaned forward a little more as she knew exactly what she was doing. "How am I going to win, if I can play a little dirty too?" she asked him, as she ran a hand through her hair.

"Play fair, not dirty." Mike told her, damned if he was turned on. Something he never thought would happen while playing Scrabble.

"You have never played fair." She informed him.

"I have." he argued.

"Please, when we were on the ship you'd be sitting there in your uniform all freshly showered and shaved. You made all the rules, including your no British English." She argued teasingly.

"There is nothing sexy or comfortable about that uniform. It's starched to the point it could sit up on its own and we don't have enough 'u' tiles for British English spelling. Scrabble is an American game. So you have to use American English." He rebutted with a grin.

"You think heels and a tight dress are comfortable?" She asked him.

"No, but it looks good." Mike said as he understood the point she was making.

"Just as your uniform looks good on you." She told him.

"You're never putting it on." He told her, he meant it as it was a rule. There were some things he held sacred one of them was the uniform had meaning and should be respected. It wasn't outfit for sex or foreplay.

"Don't want to. I only want to strip you out of it when you get home." She told him, her meaning not lost at all. "Just like how I want to strip you out of your clothes right now." she told him, she rose from her chair. Mike watched as she stripped off the cardigan and moved to him. She pushed the game further up the table before she lifted up her dress and sat on the cleared space. She bit her bottom lip and smiled salaciously as she leaned back and opened her legs.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who's going round commando." Mike remarked in appreciation as he smoothed his hands up her legs.

* * *

"Oh that was good." Sasha said, she felt like her world had finally righted itself. She still felt off, but in general she was more relaxed and real food after a week of ingesting Soylent only felt amazing. She lazed on Azima's couch and wished she didn't have to get up as it was so comfortable. It made her think that she really needed to get a proper place to live as BOQ was not cutting it. She needed a little more luxury in her life.

"They know how to make the most out of very little food. I wish I had the rations to make you my father's recipe beef stew and ugali. That would put the meat on your bones." Azima promised her.

"One day, you will." Sasha said, Azima nodded.

"Indeed, I will. Now, you want to talk about it? Your coffee with Captain Tom." Azima asked her as she sat cross legged on the couch looking directly at Sasha.

"I see everything that is wrong between Tom and I. Not just him, but also me. I see us making each other's lives miserable. I need my work life to compartmentalised from my main life. I need to be able to decompress from my work, he wouldn't let me have that especially with him on the outside as he is." Sasha told her, Azima frowned as she like Sasha understood the issues of balancing out work and a healthy social life let alone a love life was difficult. It was even harder when there were secrets.

"Have you talked to him about it?" Azima offered.

"I tried, and I just couldn't. It's on me, but I can't help how stressed I am. I'm calm at work, I meet him for coffee and I wonder what does he want from me? How is he going to use me as a stepping stone to get back into the inner circle? I wonder why can't he just ask me stupid inane questions about the weather or offer that we go on a hike? No, it's coffee so he can bitch about Naz controlling Mike and him not knowing what's going on anymore. It was the same garbage he talked about at the BBQ last Saturday. He just has to be in everyone's business judging them and trying to improve them when he's the one who needs to be adjusted." Sasha said with an aggravated sigh as she was starting to feel stressed and nauseous.

"Hmm, you don't need that kind of negative energy." Azima surmised, as she was just looking at how much Sasha's demeanour changed by talking about Tom. She was rooting for the two to get together but couldn't see it working if Sasha wasn't happy. Sasha had gone from being relaxed to bent out of shape in just a few sentences. Azima knew Tom was not the root of all Sasha's problems but he was the prominent one and the easiest to get stuck on.

"I wanted so badly for there to be this magical moment where we'd just click. He'd be my magic pill that makes me feel what Naz and Mike have. I'm just not feeling it. He said all the right words to me and I didn't want it. I just wanted to run." Sasha said, scared of what it meant but too tired to analyse it. She looked to Azima.

"What you need is fun." Azima told her, Sasha gave her a look as it wasn't the answer she was looking for. "Tomorrow night we will have that at the hen's night. For now, I need your opinion on Naz's outfit." Azima told her, she disappeared into her bedroom and came out with a top. Sasha burst out laughing, as it was priceless.

"It's good right?" Azima asked with a smile as she looked to her creation.

"Naz will love it." Sasha assured her, grateful not just for the levity but for the distraction it gave her.


	39. Chapter 39

 

"I just don't get it." Tom said to Mike over lunch the next day.

"You ever think you both need to decompress from everything you've been through, separately?" Mike asked, he was trying to show interest but he had been listening to Tom post mortem Sasha and his life for the past half an hour. Frankly, he was bored of listening to Tom moan about something that simply needed time to come good. He could see Sasha was fried and needed a decent holiday from everyone to recharge her battery. But Mike wasn't sure Sasha knew how to have a holiday.

"I don't need her to fix me. We had 16 months apart. How much more time does she need?" Tom asked him, as he believed Mike thought he needed Sasha to fix him, and cure him of all his ails.

"I'm not touching that one." Mike told him, Tom frowned as he just wanted honesty. "You know she got caught in Asia which was a major hot zone for the red flu. She had rub shoulders with a lot unsavory folks to survive including Peng. She lost her husband and her entire family. She and Fletcher were pretty well suited." Mike said.

"Better than me. You're saying that Fletcher is better than me?" Tom asked him incredulously. Mike made a face as he really didn't want to get in the middle f Sasha and Tom's business. Given what little he knew about Tom's side when it came to Sasha and Tom. He could only interpret Tom's jealously as being ego driven and not about wanting a serious relationship with Sasha.

"He did apologise for what he did in a timely manner unlike you. They managed their relationship and work life pretty well up until he took a header over the back of the ship." Mike quipped, Tom gave him a dark look.

"That's not funny." Tom told him.

"No, it's not. So imagine what it's like for her. You either want her or you don't. If you want her, because you want a real relationship that could mean marriage and possibly more kids. Then go for it, but if you don't want that. Then leave her alone, she's had enough of a rough time without you dicking around with her emotions and inferring shit you don't mean or intend to follow through on." Mike told him.

"I know she's had a rough time." Tom said, he found it patronising when people felt the need to remind him that the world went to hell. He was there, he suffered loss and pain like everyone else.

"Do you? cause I'm not seeing or hearing it. We just got off a two year mission, we've saved humanity and what is left of it. Unlike you, we didn't get any time off." Mike reminded him.

"I get it you're all exhausted, more so than me." Tom snapped.

"Yes, we need time to decompress. You know get loose and put on our dancing shoes which I know is a foreign concept for you." Mike said mockingly.

"Smart ass." Tom grumbled.

"It's stressful listening to you complain about inane things. I can see why Sasha wasn't having it. You want her on your side, maybe show that you can have fun and help her decompress from the last two years. Non-sexual fun." Mike said, emphasising the last sentence.

"Play scrabble?" Tom asked wryly.

"It works, I'm happy and getting married. You're a single and a curmudgeon sitting here griping about his lack of action." Mike said, Tom glowered at him.

"Thanks." He said drily.

"When was the last time you did anything for fun and laughed. Truly laughed out loud, multiple times within a few hours?" Mike asked him.

"Awhile." Tom admitted.

"Yeah, have more fun, learn to laugh. Maybe practise with your kids first before graduating to adults." Mike told him. Tom glowered at him again as he did not like 'Happy' Mike. He was a prick and not a very helpful one. "I got Naz an engagement present." He added, changing the topic.

"What is it?" Tom asked, Mike grinned as he pulled out a large book and dropped it onto the table. Mike smiled at the satisfying thud. Tom looked at cover. "A dictionary?" he asked.

"It's the biggest I could find in the shop." Mike said smugly.

"This isn't very romantic." Tom informed him.

"Maybe not for you, but my aim isn't to get into your pants." Mike told him, Tom looked at the dictionary and wondered if he really wanted to know the origins of how a dictionary could equate to having sex. But shook his head as there were some mysteries about Mike and Naz that he didn't want to know.

"You check in with the injured crewmembers?" Tom asked, changing the topic.

"Yeah, every second day. Most are out, recovering well. I'm worried about Green. He hasn't got the best attitude and his prognosis isn't fantastic. Commander Burk lost his leg, he's in San Diego. He's keeping it together. Navy wants to retain him, so as long as he passes quals, he can stay in." Mike said, Tom nodded grateful that not everything was classified.

"Green?" Tom asked, he had only been in the once and had completely forgot to ask. He just assumed it was a couple hits to the chest. He assumed the man would've been discharged from hospital by now.

"It's a toss up at this stage. He's got some serious nerve and lung damage. He's not the best patient from what I've been told." Mike said with a shrug, Tom knew Mike's casual indifference was mostly an act. Mike did care, but unlike Tom; he did a better job of keeping a wall between him and the crew. He didn't get into the personal lives of the crew unless it was absolutely necessary.

"It's tough." Tom said.

"I know, it's his first real hit. He has a kid and wife now, so he's learning that everything is different. The falls are harder, the doubt more palpable and decisions are even harder to make." Mike said in a matter of fact manner.

"True." Tom said, their jobs were difficult at the best of times, but there was an added amount of stress when one took in their own life situation into consideration. Having kids, being close to one's family was both a weakness and strength at the same time. It fuelled them to fight harder, but it also could cause hesitation at the worst time.

"One way or the other, he'll figure it out. He's survived this long which means he has to have something stuck between his ears that's working." Mike quipped.

* * *

Later that evening,

"It's so good to finally meet you and get a Friday night off." Mira said excitedly as she hugged Naz, like she was a long-lost family member.

"You too, I take it you believe that I'm real?" Naz asked.

"Yes, you look better in real life than those photos in that exhibit. I love this top." Mira said as she looked over Naz's outfit. She wore a loose white cotton singlet over black skinny jeans with tan ankle boots that had the shortest stumpy heels.

"I'd hope so given I showered and brushed my hair and teeth. Thank you, your dress is gorgeous. Meylan is a lucky man." Naz said, Mira was 5ft 6, stunningly gorgeous African American woman. She like everyone had lean frames due to food restrictions, but she managed to cut a beautiful figure in a black and white leopard print romper with a deep v-neck and strappy black metallic heels.

"I know, poor him this is the first time I've dressed up in over three years and he only got to see five minutes of it before he dropped me off." Mira said with a grin.

"He can enjoy later." Sasha quipped before she and Mira hugged.

"I'll be drunk and fast asleep by then." Mira said with a grin as she stepped back and moved Andrea.

"Mira, looking good. I feel like the whale in the group." Andrea said as the two briefly hugged, she wore a black maxi dress with a grey cardigan and some silver jewellery. She looked comfortable but not ready for anything more than a meal and conversation.

"You look good, I remember when I was pregnant with my first. I just felt like a blimp. I lived in maxi dresses." Mira said as she sat down at the table next to Andrea. "Is she kicking?" she asked Andrea.

"No, all is quiet in there. But if she does act up, you can have a feel." Andrea promised her as she rested her hands on her stomach. Naz couldn't help but feel a little bit of joy mixed with envy as she always wanted kids. She wondered what it would be like to be pregnant. But it was just concept to her, one she wasn't sure she'd ever get to experience first hand.

"You know the gender yet?" Sasha asked Andrea.

"No, it's a surprise but I like to think it's a girl. I wouldn't mind either way but I have raised one girl. So, I know what I am doing with little girl." Andrea said with a soft. warm smile. She rubbed a hand over her stomach in a loving manner.

"Look out, this will be you in the future." Mira told Naz with a smile.

"Not anytime soon." Naz said with a smile. Mira made a face and shook her head in disbelief.

"Trust me, I was adamant that I'd never have kids. But I met Joseph before I knew it, I ended up with two beautiful babies." Mira said, she pulled out her phone. She showed them a photo that had to be within the last decade. It had Meylan, Mira with teenage boy and little girl. They were beautiful and happy family. "We lost our little girl Chloe to the red flu in the first weeks of the outbreak. But Isaiah survived and he's enrolled at the Naval Academy. Couldn't be more proud of him. He wants to join JAG corps." Mira said proudly as she showed them a photo of Joshua in his cadet uniform.

"He's all Joseph." Naz said as the likeness was uncanny. As the young man in the photo looked like a younger Meylan.

"Yeah, the apple didn't fall far from the tree." Mira said proudly.

"And a lawyer is handy to have in the family." Naz said with a smile.

"Handsome boy." Sasha said warmly. Mira beamed at the compliments before she remembered what she was talking about earlier.

"Anyway, Mike loves kids. I know he lost his three but I can't see him not wanting more. Joseph and I talked about having a third child while I'm still able. Nothing's decided but you never know." Mira said with a shrug and a sheepish smile like she enjoyed a good mystery.

"Do it, then our babies can play together." Andrea told her.

"Why don't we all just get pregnant tonight and then in nine months start our own mother's group." Sasha half joked, the women chuckled but didn't outwardly object to the idea.

"It would be better than a book club. I'm already five months in the lead. Kara would certainly love it." Andrea said with a grin.

"I wish she could've come tonight. But I understand why." Naz said, the other nodded as they knew it was tough for Kara. She didn't fit in with her own age group because she was a mother. She couldn't leave her home because she felt guilty about going out and having fun when she should be responsible for her child and preparing for her injured husband to come home.

"I'm going over to help her and her brother in law set up the house on the weekend." Sasha said.

"The brother in law is fine." Mira drawled in appreciation.

"No, don't go there. Just because two people are single doesn't mean they should date." Sasha said as she knew Mira's game. She was all about setting up her single friends. But before Mira could comment further Azima strolled up to their table.

"Ladies, Azima is here. She is ready to party." Azima announced as she stood at their table with confidence of a woman who loved what she wore and didn't care what others thought. Her short hair was dyed bubblegum pink, and she wore a bright purple and black bandage bodycon mini dress with a large white faux fur coat on. She wore extravagantly high strappy stilettos that added what looked like another foot to her height.

"I love the hair but are we speaking in the third person for this party?" Naz asked Azima.

"No, I just like to make an entrance." Azima said with a smile, she passed over a bag she had in her hand to Naz. "Now, get changed." She ordered.

"I'm already dressed." Naz said but it didn't stop her from opening the bag.

"Ladies, how are we over here?" Darius asked as he came over to their table. He stood next to Azima, dressed in his suit, the two looked ready for a vogue photo shoot.

"We need your best food and drinks all round this table. Everyone except Andrea is going to get drunk. We are all going to have fun even if it kills us." Azima said with a smile as she pulled off her jacket. She hung it on the back of her chair and sat down.

"My chef is finishing up on the first round of foods. It's going to be wow-" he remarked as Naz pulled out a singlet similar to the one she was wearing except it was painted with stencilled pattern of small penises in silver glitter paint. "That's a lot glittery penises." He remarked.

"I made it myself." Azima said proudly.

"It's so very sparkly and lewd. I love it." Naz remarked with an amused smile as the pattern really made a person had to look twice to make sure they knew they were looking at penises.

"Ok," Darius said drawing attention back to himself. "Tonight's menu will be large variety of finger foods to help continuously soak up the booze. Fernando will be your waiter, he'll make sure you have everything you need. I have to be out the front, but I'll check in when I can. Make sure you're not getting into too much trouble. So, please enjoy yourselves." He told them with a smile. He moved to Andrea's side and whispered something in her ear before leaving.

As he walked away, they watched the view. Luckily Sasha caught Azima before she fell out of her seat.

"Damn, he's got a fine frame." Azima said, fanning herself with a napkin as her focus like the others was back to the table.

"I know." Andrea said smugly.

"You should marry him." Naz told her.

"Maybe, we'll see how it goes." Andrea deadpanned her as the others laughed.

"You have to put on your outfit. Don't forget the underwear." Azima told Naz.

"Why did you bring me underwear?" Naz asked Azima, she pulled out a black bralette that had miscellaneous bondage straps to it. She let the skimpy thing hang from her finger as she gave Azima an incredulous look. "This is not underwear." she told her.

"It's an outfit. Go, get changed and I will be checking to see if you have the thong on." Azima told her.

"You'll be a great mother one day." Naz said dryly as she left the table for the restrooms.

"I try and try to get that girl to dress sexier and all I get is lip." Azima said with a sigh like Naz was hopeless.

"I think she's got her style and it hasn't stopped her from getting laid." Sasha said with a grin.

"Yes, not that I care notice it but Mike is more relaxed than he's been in a long while." Andrea commented. The other women smiled as they all had either seen the difference or heard about it.

"It's good, it's hard to lose your whole world. To be able to come back from that and find a small slice of happiness; it's a good thing." Mira said.

"Finally, you have a Navy wife who's a civilian that you get along with." Andrea drawled in amusement.

"I know, it's about time as I'm not fitting in the Norfolk crowd. They all disapprove of my career like it's the 1950s and we all should be chained to a stove. I'll tell you the last place you want me is near a stove." Mira told them all as their waiter Fernando arrived placing down water. He took their drinks order and disappeared as Naz reappeared.

"Hello, Mama." Andrea said in a rich tone while Mira gave a wolf whistle. Naz did an obligatory twirl to show off her glitter penises, the singlet was sheer and v-neck, thus showed a lot of chest area and the black bralette with its straps that showed through the fabric.

"I feel like I need a NSWF sign." Naz said, as the women laughed. Azima got up from her chair and messed Naz's hair and tucked in part of the singlet. She stepped back and kissed her fingers like a chef did in a TV.

"Perfecto." Azima drawled as she stepped back, Naz had no idea what was going on, but she felt like a little slutty and yet powerful at the same time.

"You forgot the crown." Sasha said, Naz shot her a dark look as Sasha pulled out the plastic diamante crown and held it out. Azima took it and placed tiara on her head.

"I feel like a Penisland Princess, all I need is a septum." Naz said as she posed for an obligatory photo. The women all laughing to varying degrees as the penis tank top was too much to not laugh at.

"Ladies, I have your penises- I mean drinks. Drinks." Fernando said correcting himself as he placed their drinks onto the table.

"Thank you." Naz said with a smile, drinks were passed around the table. They made sure Andrea got the virgin version of the cocktail before they raised their glasses.

"To Naz and Mike. And to hen's party number 1, now let's get sassy." Mira said, they clinked their glasses before taking a drink.

* * *

Well after midnight and Tom's bedtime, he begrudgingly parked his car wondering what the hell he was doing out. Why he even felt he should be here, but here he was. He had taken the phone call and well, he didn't say 'no'. He blamed it on being half asleep when he agreed.

Tom pocketed his keys and crossed the packed carpark surprised the bar was still open past midnight and music still pumping loudly. It was a Cuban salsa bar, he heard the familiar rhythm of the music.

The bouncer at the door waved him in, fame working on his side as he recognised wherever he went. He stepped into the bar, the room was hot from all the warm bodies packed in dancing and drinking.

He searched the crowd for familiar faces when he heard his name shouted over the crowd. He then spotted the women. There in the middle of the dancers was Naz, Azima and Sasha.

"Tom!" Azima shouted, waving him over as the other two were off in their own world dancing in time with the music. He sifted through the crowd to them. Sasha and Naz stopped as they saw him, clearly they hadn't expected him.

"What are you doing here?!" Naz asked in surprise. She smiled and much to his surprise, she hugged him. "You'll get hives from all the fun." She deadpanned with concern. Tom chuckled and shook his head at her.

"Azima called, said you ladies needed a ride." He told her.

"What?! No! It's too early!" Naz said looking to Azima in disbelief.

"Yes! Dance with us." Azima slurred ignoring Naz as she pulled on Tom's arm.

"No, no-" Tom said as Azima tried to get him to move with the music but he wasn't interested.

"Please, please!" Azima begged, Tom gave an aggrieved sigh as she shoved him at Sasha. Before he knew what was happening, the music changed to a new song. Azima and Naz were nearly running off to the bar shouting excitedly about 'shots'.

He held out his hand to her. He knew he was not going to be able to wrangle Naz or Azima on his own. Given his kids were sleeping over at friends' houses. He had time for one dance even if it was with a woman who hated him.

"Don't leave me hanging here." He pleaded, Sasha took his hand. He pulled her into his arms.

He was glad that dancing was like riding a bicycle. A skill that might be rusty but was not lost. Luckily, Sasha while drunk like he'd never seen her before was still able to keep up with the steps as they danced.

Within seconds, he and Sasha were laughing together, at one another. It didn't matter as they were laughing carefree for the first time in over a decade. They were having fun, he'd forgotten how much fun it was to dance and throw off excess energy into something that wasn't work or his kids. It made him feel younger, he got to see a side of Sasha he hadn't seen in years, the grace of how her body flowed with the music was just art to his eyes.

* * *

An hour later,

"I love you, but I can't marry you." Naz slurred to Azima as Azima was taking her time saying goodbye. He sat in the driver's seat waiting, Sasha was practically asleep in the front passenger seat with a plastic bag in her lap as she was the first and only one to vomit. Luckily, she did it before they got into his car but he wasn't liking his chances of getting out of this with a clean car given how heavily intoxicated the three women were.

"Can we roll this up?" Tom asked them. The women rolled their eyes at him in the typical 'Men, have no patience'.

"Thank you for the ride Captain Tom." Azima slurred.

"You're ok to get up to your apartment?" he asked, making sure she was ok.

"Perfectly fine," she said, she pulled out a pair of sunglasses from her coat and put them on. Tom was going to tell her it was a bad idea but she was already out of the car and walking fairly steady. Something he was in awe of given how high her heels were.

"Bye, have fun mellowing out your vagina." Naz said from the back passenger seat window. Sasha gave a sleepy giggle, while Azima blew a kiss at them.

"I'm so glad I picked up my phone." Tom mumbled under his breath. Once Azima was inside her building he turned the engine on and peeled out into the street heading back to the base.

"Turn up the radio!" Naz said as David Bowie's 'Life on Mars' play on the radio.

"No, it's time to relax and get ready for bed." Tom said, feeling like a father given his tone.

"Seriously, pull the stick outta your ass more often. Just unclench and be chill. Fucking smile before you lose the muscles to do so." Naz told him as she turned up the radio. It seemed to perk Sasha up as the two started singing along with David Bowie. Loudly and slurring every second word.

* * *

Mike woke to the phone ringing, he rolled out of bed and padded to phone.

"Hello?" he asked, he winced as 4 Blonde's 'Hey, What's going on?' song and loud singing blared through the phone. Holding it away, he realised it was also coming from outside just at a quieter note.

"Mind coming out and collecting your fiancée?" Tom said, the music stopped and Mike heard Sasha and Naz sing another couple lines before realising the music was gone.

Mike hung up the phone and placed it back in it's cradle. He went to his room and pulled on a sweater and pyjama pants before he headed out the front.

"And I try, oh my god do I try. I try all the time, in this institution. And I pray, oh my god do I pray, I pray every single day for a revolution." Naz deadpanned, speaking the words instead of singing them as Tom had turned the radio down very low.

Mike grinned as he walked to the car and saw Tom's beleaguered look. Sasha and Naz had clearly been terrorizing him with car karaoke. Tom looked at him, the expression he wore was priceless. He looked a mixture of mortified and tortured.

"Save me." He told him. Mike laughed.

"Hey you," Naz slurred flirtatiously from the back window. She leaned on the window frame and smiled brilliantly at him. Mike was just about to lay a good line on her when Sasha vomited in the front seat. He winced as he felt for Tom and his car's interior.

"It's in the bag. Oh my god, when did I eat a receipt?" Sasha asked in confusion as she drunkenly held up the bag, analysing the contents as they floated around inside the bag.

"Let me take that." Tom said, he carefully took the bag away from her before she accidentally dropped.

"You want to come in with us?" Mike asked Sasha from where he stood, Tom tied up the bag and left the car to dispose of the bag into Mike's garbage bin.

"No, I want to go home." Sasha told him with a smile.

"How much did you ladies drink?" Mike asked Naz, he got a good look of her outfit, he frowned as it looked like her top had pattern of tiny penis and a sexy back bra he didn't remember her owning before tonight. She had a crown which was a little lopsided.

"A lot, but we ate food too. Sasha's only been chundering water and margarita. No Chundering from my down under though." Naz assured him, he smiled in amusement.

"Chunder from the down under." Sasha said before she gave drunk giggle and hiccup which made her pause for a second. "I'm good." she said, relaxing back. Mike was nearly tempted to go round and open the door in case she was sick. So, she could hit pavement but she seemed ok, in fact she looked really relaxed. The most relaxed he'd seen her in over a year. He moved around to Sasha's side and looked at her through the open window.

"You sure you don't want to come in and sleep it off here?" Mike asked Sasha. He was trying make sure that she was just drunk and nothing too serious was going on. He wouldn't put it past someone spiking the women's drinks.

"No, I'm good." She said, she reached through the window and patted his cheek in what felt a little patronising but he let it go. She was smiling, "You should be with your Penis Princess." She informed him.

"Ok." Mike said, Tom was settled back into the driver's seat. "I'll get you a bucket from the garage." He told him.

"I'd appreciate it." Tom said. They watched Mike walk back to the house. Then much to Tom's surprise and mortification; Naz leaned in between the gap of the two front seats.

"Hey Tom." Naz said with a smile that was definitely trouble.

"Naz," Tom said carefully. The woman was a loaded weapon, it seemed every time she talked to him. She had some kind of tid bit of information to share. Information he didn't want or need to know.

"I need you to tell you a secret." She told him.

"I don't want to know. So keep it to yourself." Tom told her. Naz made a whining noise as she shook his arm. Tom looked at her, and hoped to god she didn't overshare.

"I love Mike. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, giving all the happiness I can to him. So, you don't have to worry about him, I got it covered." Naz told him, Tom nodded relieved by her words as he had expected something obscene to be said.

"She really does, and I told you so." Sasha slurred before she gave a yawn and closed her eyes.

"That's comforting to know." Tom said as he wasn't sure how to respond.

"Him and his beautiful penis. All covered by me." Naz said with a dreamy sigh, Tom made a face.

"More than I needed to know." Tom mumbled under his breath.

"Yeah, you got it covered." Sasha said to Naz with a rich giggle. The two high fived, Tom just felt traumatised. He didn't need to know about Mike's penis or his sex life.

"I'm sure, what ever you're packing has shriveled to well below average from STDs of your secret missions of sticking your thing into everything with a pulse. But Mike, my god." Naz told him, she just smiled like a Cheshire cat like she were talking about a perfectly cooked steak. Tom felt whatever was left of his calm shrivel up as he didn't want to know. It was like hearing a parent or sibling talk about their sex life. He was not going to argue about his penis with Naz.

"I don't want to talk about this." he told her.

"I know you got penis envy." Naz told him.

"Yeah, that's it." Tom deadpanned. He looked out the window to see Mike coming back. "Hey look, it's Mike." He said, hoping he would be free of Drunk Naz.

"Ok, I'm going to have sex with my fiancé. You two kids brush your teeth and say your prays before sleep. I'll see you when I see you." Naz said as she awkwardly hugged Sasha and slapped Tom's arm in a butch manner.

Thankfully, Mike returned with a bucket quickly. As soon as the bucket was in Sasha's lap. Mike was helping Naz out of the backseat and taking her bag with them.

"Thanks for the lift." She told Tom, "Sasha, call me when you get home. So, I know you're alive." She added, Sasha gave her a thumbs up.

"See you both later." Tom said, he drove off with Sasha. Mike and Naz waited a couple seconds before they headed inside.

* * *

The front door closed behind them, Naz wrapped her arms around Mike's neck and kissed him slow and deep.

"Mmm, hello." Naz told him as she pulled him close and ran her hands up and down his back, he didn't miss the signals she was throwing his way.

"You taste like Tequila." He told her with a closed lip smile. "But you're drunk." He added as he tried to remove her hands from his person. Naz wrapped them around his neck again and wore a salacious expression.

"I want you, something I've not been shy about. I'm very consenting to us having sex, right now. In fact," she pushed up on her toes and whispered in extremely explicit terms what she wanted do to him.

Mike closed his eyes, letting himself be taken completely in, when she smoothly licked his ear and gently sucked on his ear lobe, he forgot any argument he had lined up. All he wanted, was the woman in his arms.

* * *

A few hours later,

Sasha groaned in physical pain as the world was way too loud, the morning too bright. She wanted her gun so she could shoot the birds that were chirping way too cheerfully outside her BOQs.

The noise grinded on her nerves as she had a pounding head, her mouth was arid and furry, she had a sickly sweat covering her skin. She knew it was her fault, she drank way too much last night.

She didn't really remember everything last night, it was a little blurry. She knew she had a fun time, she remembered laughing and enjoying time with Andrea, Mira, Azima and Naz. She remembered catcalling Andrea as she was first to leave the party with her gorgeous fiancé.

She remembered Mira was the next to leave as she was a lightweight. She remembered Meylan grinning at them and his wife who wouldn't stop grabbing his ass. She even offered it up for the others to have a nice feel of. Sasha groaned as she couldn't remember if she did grab Meylan's backside or not.

She groaned as she hoped she didn't. But she did remember grabbing a man's backside. She would never live it down if it was Meylan's. She scrunched her eyes tighter as she made a mental note to never drink the same amount as Naz or Azima as they were bottomless pits.

She gave a sigh as nausea rolled over her like a tidal wave. She had to get up, not to vomit but because she really needed to pee. She didn't even bother to open her eyes and rose to stand up. But in her folly, she stepped into a bucket and stacked it onto the floor in a naked heap.

She opened her eyes and she was hit with shock as she was not in her BOQ room. She had a one night stand, she broke out in a cold sweat as she looked to the empty bed and around the room. The only relief she was that she was alone. She pushed to her feet and pulled the top sheet off the bed and wrapped it around herself. Muffling a groan as she was woozy and her head just pounded in long gongs.

She frantically looked around for her clothes finding them missing. She heard footsteps and picked up the lamp, yanked the cord out of wall; ready to use it as a weapon. The bedroom door open, just as she was about to peg the lamp at the asshole who thought stealing her clothes was ok. She stopped.

She stopped as Tom came into the room. Fully dressed, which didn't give her any comfort.

"I heard a thump. Are you ok?" Tom asked her.

"Where am I? Where are my clothes?" Sasha demanded. Tom looked at the lamp she was holding and her current wardrobe Choice of the top sheet.

"Were you going to throw a lamp at me? In my own home?" Tom asked her. Sasha felt a blush creep across her cheeks as she awkwardly placed the lamp back on the bedside table.

"I thought- What am I doing here? Did we?" She asked, looking to the bed as she pulled the sheet around her naked frame more tightly. This was not good, not good at all.

"No." Tom said, he laughed to Sasha's mortification than relief. "You don't remember?" he asked.

"I'm a little foggy about last night. I may have-" She stopped as she was not going to share anything with him. "I remember things but it's fuzzy. Please just tell me how I got here." She told him.

"Azima called me, said you all needed a ride. I went to the salsa club." Tom said.

"I remember the club." Sasha said.

"Naz and Azima decided they needed more alcohol. We had a couple of spins on the dance floor." He said, he walked to the dresser and pulled out sweat pants, t-shirt and hoodie.

"It's coming back to me." She said, a fond smile on her lips as she had thought that was a dream. A really nice dream which was a drunk memory.

"You started to feel ill. Azima and Naz were happy to call it quits. You vomited in the parking lot. Then in my car. After I dropped off Azima and Naz, I tried to take you home. But you wouldn't tell me where you lived and your keys don't have your address on them either. You just said take you home." He said, he placed the clothes on the bed.

"You brought me here, but that doesn't explain how I'm naked." Sasha told him.

"I opened the door and I said the guest room was upstairs. You just walked and stripped." Tom told her, Sasha paled as she realised that she had stripped off in Tom's family home. His kids could've seen her.

"You just let me strip off my clothes?" she asked incredulously.

"In my defence, you strip faster than a kid in the naked stage. By the time I closed the front door you were in my bed; naked and snoring. I tucked you in and you told me to fuck off." He said with a wry smile.

"I'm so sorry." Sasha said mortified by her own behaviour.

"You should be, kicking me out of my own bed. It's just rude." He said in amusement. "But rest assured, I was a gentleman. I slept in the guest bedroom. Your clothes are in the dryer. There's an ensuite is through that door." He said pointing to the door. "avail yourself to the facilities and the clothing. I'll be downstairs making breakfast." He told her.

"What about your kids?" she asked.

"They are at friends' places. They won't be back until after lunch. It's only 8am." He told her, relief washed through her because at least she didn't need to worry about running into them let alone traumatising them by walking around drunk and naked.

"Ok, thank you." She told him.

"You're welcome." He said, he took a couple steps and turned back. "You can laugh about it. I think it's hysterical." He told her.

* * *

Naz gently nipped Mike's shoulder, he groaned sleepily in pleasure as he was exhausted. He didn't even understand how Naz was conscious. She rubbed her face against his chest and sighed as she snuggled against him. Her hand smoothing over his chest and arms in a slow and lazy manner.

"Sleep." He murmured to her as he gently pulled her hand away from his erection. He pressed a kiss into her palm before resting her hand in his; on his chest. He knew they'd both need their energy for later, he was very satisfied.

"I did for three hours and I had my second breakfast. I feel really good and I want more." She whispered.

"You had me and have had me enough for at least another six hours." He told her, he made a mental note never to give the woman Tequila as she was still drunk and yet hyperactive and horny.

"Sure, I can't persuade you?" She asked salaciously, Mike gave sigh and smiled lazily.

"Maybe," he said, he turned to face her and sank a hand into her hair. He kissed her in a lazy and passionate manner. He moaned against her lips as she took him in her hand. She broke the kiss, he relaxed back, letting her have her way, as she slowly peppered kisses down his chest. Her hand slowly working him until she took him in her mouth. Pleasure zipped through his body. His mind was complete white noise bar the pleasures she was giving him.


	40. Chapter 40

"Real eggs?" Sasha asked surprised as she watched Tom crack a couple eggs. She had showered, brushed her teeth with a spare toothbrush she found in the ensuite and felt a little more human than she had earlier but her head was still aching. She did wish she had sunglasses but she would survive.

"Yeah, the Chandlers are a little precious." Tom said in amusement. "We like chewing our food and I feel better if the kids eat food that they can identify." He added.

"I'd do the same if it were my kids." Sasha said, she thought it was caring and she knew it wasn't easy to be on a liquid diet. Especially when it felt so unnecessary.

"I also figured after last night you could use some real food." Tom said with a grin as he flipped the egg and cooked the toast.

"I am sorry about last night, just making myself at home." She said as she felt mortified by her own actions. Tom gave a shrug not bothered at all. She didn't understand him.

"You were at a party, you had fun and you didn't get into any trouble. Me? I feel traumatised." Tom said as toast popped up from the toaster.

"Why? What did I do?" she asked him.

"You, Naz and Azima are terrors." He said with a wry grin. "My right ear is still ringing from you three singing loudly to the car radio. Naz talking about how I can remove the stick from ass to how perfect Mike's junk is. I just can't unhear that information. I'm not sure I can be friends with a guy who has the perfect penis." He informed her in a wry manner, Sasha couldn't laugh as she remembered that moment.

"She loves him." Sasha offered as excuse with a grin, it gave her warm and fuzzy good feelings to know Mike and Naz were a happy ending in the making.

"I know, I'm thoroughly convinced given Mike doesn't tolerate being woken up for drunken antics. But he was happy as a loon with Naz. I'll never understand it and I don't want to." Tom said, he plated up the eggs and toast. Sasha took the plates to the table.

"Just tell me that you dropped the surprise wedding idea." Sasha told him, Tom came over to the table with orange juice and water. His coffee cup was still at the kitchen table.

"Completely, even if I do think it would be an amazing idea." Tom said trying to lighten the mood but he could see Sasha was exhausted and paranoid. "How are you?" he asked cautiously, they seemed to be getting along and he didn't want to ruin it.

"Tired, how are the kids?" she asked, as she took a sip of his coffee not caring about the implications as she needed the caffeine. It eased her headache somewhat.

"Good, Ashley said you and Naz gave her a lot of advice." Tom said conversationally.

"She's a good kid." Sasha said, her features softening slightly. She carefully ate her breakfast. She didn't want to eat too fast and make herself sick. She pushed the orange juice towards Tom and pulled the glass of water closer to her side.

"She is, and I'm not sure if she was trying to feel me out about how I'd feel if she were gay." Tom said, Sasha frowned mid sip of her water.

"Does it matter?" she asked, she never felt or knew Tom be a bigot. She wasn't going to tell him what Ashley's sexual preference was; as it wasn't hers to share.

"No, honestly I just want her to be happy and if she prefers women. Then I don't have to worry about her having a baby in her teens. That would be a relief." Tom said thoughtfully with an expression of relief, Sasha snorted a laugh and smiled.

"You know girls get into trouble no matter what gender they date." Sasha said.

"Don't spoil it, in my head they'd just spend a fortune in Sephora, share wardrobes and hold hands." Tom told her. Sasha couldn't help but smile at how adorably misguided Tom was.

"Ok, keep your delusions." Sasha said the tension inside her unravelling a little. Conversation was steering into waters that they could discuss.

"I do wish Darien here for her." Tom admitted. Sasha nodded, she knew how he felt.

"She feels the same. No girl wants to grow up without their Mom. It's tough no matter what age. But Naz and I made it clear that if she needed an older woman's opinion or female help; to call." Sasha told him.

"I really appreciate it." Tom said sincerely.

"But, we did tell her that when her period comes. She should tell you, so you can buy her pain killers, make hot water bottles and throw chocolate at her. Naz suggested the throwing of chocolate." Sasha said in amusement as Tom made a face at the notion as the imagery made it sound like Ashley was a wild animal at feeding time in the zoo.

"I won't throw chocolate at Ashley, but I might be tempted to give it to her; if it will make her happy." Tom offered, Sasha smiled.

"Most women love chocolate but good luck finding it." Sasha told him, she enjoyed that the tension she had felt the last time wasn't there. It was a relief as this was what she wanted. For them, to be friends. To be able to casually converse and benefit from each other's company.

"I like a challenge." Tom said before he took a sip of the orange juice.

"I know, but you might have to sacrifice a kidney to get it." Sasha said.

"Mmm," Tom murmured thoughtfully, "I can live with one kidney." He said, Sasha laughed. "It's good the hear you laugh." He told her, he had to admit he liked how relaxed they were. He realised the other day that this was what they had needed. No posturing or him trying to get into her business about work.

"You know this doesn't change anything." She told him.

"You're taking this way too seriously. It's just breakfast." Tom told her.

"Tom, it's all in with you or nothing at all." Sasha said with a sigh and it stung that Sasha made it sound like the worst thing in the world.

"That isn't true." Tom half lied but she was right.

"It is, you have kids and your career. Both need you to have a woman who can support you fully. I can't do that. My goals haven't changed. I want to stay in the field for as long as possible." Sasha told him.

"I haven't asked you to give anything up." Tom pointed out.

"Yet, you'd want me too. It's not fair on the kids. They need stability which I can't give them. I know what it's like to have parents who put more precedence on their career. I don't begrudge my mother for wanting her career but I felt more like an accessory to her than flesh and blood. It wasn't easy on me, I wouldn't want that for my own." Sasha said, honestly.

"You're not her." Tom said as he remembered her parents. How she described her childhood. A string of nannies and photo ops, her parents paraded her around like she were a prized Faberge egg one showed off at parties before putting it back in the closet and forgetting about it until the next party. It was the opposite of Tom's upbringing and well majority of other families. But it explained to Tom why Sasha struggled with putting down roots, why ONI was a great fit for her. She was unwittingly bred to be the perfect spy.

"Exactly, I won't put your kids into feeling as if they aren't important. I'll do that by not putting myself into the equation at all." Sasha told him.

"Ashley is already attached to you." Tom reminded her.

"I'm just a friend of family, it's not the same as someone you date. If something happened to me, she has Naz and Kara. Don't be trite enough to say they are not the same as they'd be even better at it given they are more emotionally available than I am." Sasha told him.

"Right now," Tom corrected as he needed the door to stay open.

"Tom." Sasha said.

"Look, I care for you very deeply. I know we have issues but we can work on them together. We can get to know one another better." Tom said, laying it out on the line yet again. Hoping beyond hope, she might give him something.

"You're not hearing me. I don't want a serious relationship and I'm not even interested in a fling with you or anyone. I want time for me." She told him.

"Ok, I accept what you're saying. But I'm going to wait for you this time." Tom told her.

"I don't want you to wait for me." Sasha told him.

"Too bad, we're friends and one day; you'll be ready to date again. I just hope that when that time comes around that you'll consider me." Tom told her.

"Can we not discuss this?" she asked him with a sigh.

"Sure, you want more water?" he asked.

"Please." Sasha replied.

* * *

Late in the afternoon,

Mike heard the bedroom door open. He sat up on the couch and placed down the book he was reading. He watched as Naz came out the room, his eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he saw her Halloween costume.

She looked like 1950's housewife with her hair perfectly curled and set. She wore 50s' style swing dress that finished below the knees. It was canary yellow, had cap sleeves and a boat neckline. She wore a black belt that cinched at the waist just helping promote the illusion of the 1950's waspish figure. She wore matching black flats and as she walked her skirts swished around her. Something about it, just reminded him of the old movies his mother loved watching.

"How do I look?" She asked with a smile, her red lips and cat eye makeup. It was the most feminine he'd seen her outside of the bedroom. The male side of him, was enjoying it. Not that he didn't enjoy her normal every day look but this was special. He could appreciate it for that reason.

"Beautiful and very tasteful." He assured her, as he could see no fault in her costume. She could also wear it again, he'd like to see it again, maybe without the red lipstick as he preferred a more natural look. But he liked the colour and she looked so happy wearing it.

"Good, I know you're not into wearing costumes. But I think one of us should dress up for the kids." She said as she sat down next to him on the couch.

"I don't know, this jumper makes me look pretty timeless." He said as he was wearing the jumper she had gifted him.

"It certainly does." She said warmly.

"Just think, when we run out of lollipops we can sleep." He said, he needed more sleep after last night. He wasn't complaining, he felt like his bones were made of jelly and every fibre of his being gave a huge sigh of relaxation and relief.

"I had a really good nap this afternoon." She reminded him before she yawned. Mike smiled as he knew she was exhausted. She had to be after a long night of dancing and sex.

"Some more sleep might help." Mike told her.

"Yeah, it would." She admitted, "But it was fun right?" she asked.

"Yes, I'd do it all again, just in another 8 to 12 hours as I'm still struggling to remember my own name or what I need to do." Mike told her, Naz laughed, a blush gracing her cheeks.

The door bell sounded, alerting them to their first trick or treaters.

"Here we go." Naz told him excitedly.

* * *

"Man, I was hoping for snickers or Oreos." Sammy said to Tom as they were walking from house to house trick or treating. Tom was surprised when Sammy asked if he could trick or treat, he had thought maybe Sammy felt he was too old to do it. But now, Tom knew Sammy just wanted to see what he could get. In fairness, most kids loved the tradition of dressing up and the bonus of chocolate.

"You know, people are doing their best." Tom said gently as he could as he wanted Sammy to be grateful no matter what.

"I know, I just wish it was more like old times. You know?" he asked Tom.

"Yeah buddy, I do." Tom said as he knew that if it were like old times; Darien would be here dressed up in some elaborate costume and helping Sammy get into the spirit. Tom tried his best but he'd forgotten how Halloween worked as he was always deployed. But he did enjoy this time with Sammy.

"What do you think Mom would've been this year if she had lived?" Sammy asked.

"I don't know. She really liked being a witch, and she was good with make up and fake noses." Tom said with a smile as he remembered how Darien could transform herself or the kids.

"Yeah, it was so gross when she'd make hairy moles on her face." Sammy said making a face as he half loved it and found it disgusting. They both smiled as they reminisced over memories of Darien.

"Yeah, she also did a better job at decorating the house." Tom quipped.

"Yeah, maybe we can start early on Christmas decorations. That way when it gets to Christmas, it's could be just as great as it was before." Sammy said.

"We can try." Tom said, he didn't want to make any promises he couldn't meet.

"Whoa, Uncle Mike really went out on his decorations." Sammy said as they came to Mike's house. Sammy wasn't wrong. Tom had seen the decorations in the day but night when it was all lit up. It looked rather amazing and spooky in a PG way.

"Their light is on. Why don't we go see what they have?" Tom said, they walked up the front path and passed a couple little girls who were dressed up as Disney princesses. They seemed happy with whatever came from the house.

They got to the door, Tom stood back as Sammy pressed the doorbell. The door opened and there was Naz looking like the perfect 50's housewife in some yellow confection of a dress.

"Trick or Treat!" Sammy announced.

"What do we have here?" She asked, Tom smiled as she even put on a show. She looked at Sammy "You're Zuko from Avatar." She said to Sammy, Tom smiled as Sammy's jaw dropped in shock.

"You know Avatar: The Last Airbender?" He asked her, she was the first to recognise his costume.

"Yeah, I had a niece your age who was loved that show and the Legend of Korra. She wanted to be a water bender. Me? Earth bender all the way." Naz told him, she seemed as enthusiastic as Sammy was about the show. Tom couldn't help but appreciate it as it put the icing on the cupcake of a great evening.

"I'd want to be fire bender or an air bender. We have the shows on DVD if you ever want to watch them." Sammy told her excitedly.

"I'll keep it in mind." She said, she turned to Tom. "You know that I've seen about ten Tom Chandlers in the last hour. You're the oldest of them all." She said mockingly, Tom shook his head at her teasing.

"I know, it's terrible. Is Mike around?" Tom asked.

"Yeah, but it's not a great time." She said in a low voice. She wore a pained expression and Tom immediately understood why as he became acutely aware of the children in the streets and Sammy. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to have lost his children have this holiday come round.

"Why not?" Sammy asked. Naz wore an endearingly sympathetic smile as she looked to Sammy.

"He just misses his kids. He needed to take a step back for a moment." She said to Sammy in a gentle manner, the kid nodded in understanding. She looked to Tom, "If you want, I can go get him?" she offered.

"No, it's ok. We still got a few houses to trick or treat." Tom said as he didn't want to disturb Mike's grief. He could see Naz was living up to their commitments to the community by keeping the party going on the outside while Mike grieved quietly in his own space and time. It made him appreciate her more than before.

"Ok, well I believe I was asked Trick or Treat." Naz said with a smile, lightening the mood. "So, what's your trick?" Naz asked him.

"It's bad, I'd pick treat." Sammy told her in a serious manner as he held out his pumpkin bucket. Naz snorted a laugh and pulled two lollipops out of nowhere like a magic trick and held them out to Sammy.

"Ok, I'll take treat which means you get to have two lollipops one for you and one for your sister ok?" She told him, Sammy nodded as he took the lollipops.

"Thank you." Sammy said.

"You're welcome. Have fun." She told them.

"We will, thanks." Tom said sincerely, Naz nodded before he directed Sammy away from the house.

* * *

An hour later, Naz was nearly out of lollipops for which was grateful as she was exhausted. Halloween was fun and the children were cute and hilarious but it was too much.

She looked at the bowl seeing three lollipops and wondered if it was just better to turn off the porch light and call it quits or wait it out. She felt the latter was better as it would give Mike the privacy he needed.

He had been fine for the first half an hour of trick or treaters but then there had been a little girl in a warrior princess outfit. He just shut down and disappeared into presumably one of the kids' rooms.

She always struggled with what was the right thing to do or say when Mike was like this. But came up empty, there were no words and she felt like she was crossing a line by going into the kids' rooms. She felt she didn't belong in there, thus she shouldn't go into the rooms. But part of her truly ached for Mike and his loss.

The door bell rang, Naz pushed up from the kitchen table. She plastered on a smile and opened the door. The smile became genuine when she saw who was at her door step.

"Treat!" Frankie shouted in a demanding manner, Kara and Naz laughed out loud as Frankie demanded his candy instead of giving the traditional greeting. But then at 18 months old, Naz would've been surprised if he had.

"Hello Frankie, Kara." Naz said, she took in the costumes as Kara was dressed up like Bambam and Betty Rubble from the Flintstones.

"Treat!" Frankie demanded forcibly, he clearly liked the part of Halloween where people gave him things. Judging by the canvas bag Kara had on the ground; he had been very successful.

"Please." Kara prodded her son gently. She gave Naz an apologetic smile, and Naz could see the stress and exhaustion etched in the young mother's face.

"Please?" Frankie said in such a soft and innocent manner. It was a real 180 from his demand for sugar.

"You are perfect with your timing as I only have three lollipops left. They are yours. Why don't you come in and have a quick sit down?" She offered, waving them in.

"I don't want to impose." Kara said even though Frankie raced into the house. "Ok, we're coming in." she added wryly as her son climbed onto the lounge and made himself at home as the TV was playing some kid's movie. Naz had turned it on for noise but was glad it was kid friendly.

"It's ok, you look like you could use a break." Naz said, she turned off the front porch light and closed the door behind Kara. "Tea, coffee, water?" Naz offered.

"Coffee- no water." Kara said changing her mind.

"It feels like the Barbecue was a month ago." Naz said as she brought two glasses of water over to the table.

"It feels like a year for me. Is Captain Slattery home?" She asked.

"He's sleeping. I had my hen's night last night and I woke him up. So, he's catching up." Naz said, Kara gave her a wry smile as she read between the lines.

"Was it fun?" Kara asked.

"Yes, too much booze, dancing and letting loose. I could use some sleep myself but I still need a couple hours to wash all this off." She said gesturing to her costume.

"I know the feeling, though my costume was easy." Kara said.

"I love it, though how much hair product did you use to get your hair like that?" Naz asked in awe. She knew she should really press Kara to see if she was ok. But sometimes she felt the conversation had to drift there naturally. If not, at least Kara would've had one conversation without things going bleak.

"A lot. But it's ok, it needed a wash." Kara said with a grin.

"Bambam lost his bone somewhere?" Naz asked.

"He threw it at another kid. So I had to confiscate it." Kara said, Naz chuckled.

* * *

Mike sat on the floor by Hannah's bed. He stared into space, immobile by his own grief, the numbness he felt as his heart slowly came to terms with the fact that this side of his life was over. He had enjoyed being a father, he loved his kids deeply and he could see a way past his grief. But things, tiny little things cropped up that reminded him of them, of their absence. What their absence meant, he felt the loss, that unspeakably dark and painful part of his soul.

When he saw that little girl wearing the exact costume Hannah had worn before his deployment to Arctic, he just felt his wounds reopen.

He often went between being incredibly numb to the world around him. He would smile and pretend he felt emotions like everyone else. But really, he felt his emotions at a distance. They were this entity outside of his reach. Then other days, he just felt a sharp and deep hollow ache within. He felt the despair of his pain and feared he'd be swallowed up into the darker mentality.

He met Naz, she didn't miraculously cure him. She didn't show him the light or fix his world. She stitched him, gave him blood and kept him alive. She seemed to quietly understand his pain and accept it's presence. The acknowledgement eased his suffering. Slowly, but surely being around her lightened up his mood.

Maybe it was that she tried to find the joy in the moment. Her quick wit and sense of humour but she made him smile and laugh. She gave him pleasure, she distracted him when he needed it. She supported him and filled his life up. Their relationship felt incredibly real to him. He knew it was fake but it was real to him. He was glad he had years with her until she naturalised as a citizen and didn't need him. As he could hold onto their time before his life felt empty again.

He heard the door open and half expected Naz to poke her head in. He appreciated that she gave him space to process. But it wasn't her. Instead, Frankie toddled into the room, he was dressed as Bambam from the Flintstones. Though the winter version as he wore a long sleeve white top with the orange and black pants.

Mike sat completely still and watched as Frankie toddled in and looked around. He always wondered how he'd feel about someone coming into the kids' rooms. He figured he'd be angry, he'd get upset. But he was amused and part of him felt incredibly sad as Frankie picked up one of Hannah's favourite stuff toys. The little boy sneezed from the dust. But it didn't stop him from shopping through the other options.

Mike chuckled and Frankie froze with 'uh oh' face. It turned into a cute smile.

"Uncle My." He said.

"Hey kiddo." Mike said, he felt his eyes tear up as he had flashbacks to his kids being Frankie's age. The sadness that all the toys and things in these rooms were just collecting dust and going to waste. It wasn't right, they were meant to be enjoyed.

"Monkey." Frankie offered as he brought Mike the stuffed Monkey.

"Thank you." Mike said as he settled the monkey on his leg.

"Hippo." Frankie told him, Mike gave a watery laugh at the kid's antics as he'd buried Mike's leg in half of Hannah's stuffed toys. Frankie stopped in his tracks and frowned at Mike. He toddled over to Mike and much to Mike's surprise. Frankie hugged him. "No Cry." He told Mike, Mike rubbed the kid's back appreciating the touching gesture. Frankie pulled back and gave him a smile. "Better?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, I feel much better." Mike half lied. Frankie believed him. "But, you know what I know the toy just for you." He told Frankie as he rose from the floor.

* * *

"It's just tough, the doctors want him to be more mobile and get into rehab but he's just not motivated. I can't get through to him. I've tried everything from being supportive wife to B-I-T-C-H. He's just not hearing me." Kara said to Naz.

"Then leave him alone to swim in his misery." Naz told her.

"I can't do that." Kara argued.

"You've exhausted your options and every avenue possible except doing nothing. He knows you love him and he's got a life he needs to live but wherever the block is… he has to recognise it and knock it down himself." Naz said carefully.

"This isn't like him, which is why I feel something is really wrong and I have to fix it." Kara said.

"What happened to him was and is traumatic. He was shot, he had his friend cut into him and stick a tube into his side without anaesthesia. For several hours, he was incredibly helpless and everything was out of his control. He probably thought it was the end. I'm sure that's the first time in his entire life that he's ever been that vulnerable and scared out of his mind." Naz said reiterating what Kara already knew but needed to hear out loud.

"I know what that's like, when I had experiences with my pregnancy and labour that have left me scared and traumatised but I moved past it." Kara argued.

"Arguably, women experience more pain than men in their lifetime. We are taught to silently push through it and keep working because it's 'normal' part of being a woman. You had to push past your pain and trauma because you had a baby who needed you. It was no longer about you. " Naz told her.

"I wish Danny could see that Frankie and I need him just as much. He thinks he's redundant to the family and he won't believe otherwise." Kara said, she already tried it. Danny seemed to believe she was so incredibly self sufficient that he was superfluous to her life. She couldn't shake him of the mind set.

"Mommy, I got shark!" Frankie announced as he raced towards her with a large stuffed shark. Kara crouched down to her son.

"Frankie, where did you get this shark?" Kara asked, her stomach bottoming out as she hadn't kept a closer eye on Frankie. Now, she was going to have to be the bad guy as well as a poor house guest.

"I gave it to him. It's a little dusty. But it's his now. If you'll let him." Mike said as he came out of the hallway and into the kitchen.

"Sir, are you sure?" Kara asked him, she like Naz knew the toy belonged to one of his kids. This was a major moment for Mike.

"Yeah, toys are meant to be played with and enjoyed." He said, Kara had a thought play through her mind as his words gave her an idea. But she filed it away for later and focussed on her son and his new toy.

"Uncle My picked me." Frankie told her.

"Uncle Mike picked the shark for you?" Kara asked, in a tone that said it was a word play game to help Frankie's vocabulary grow.

"Yes, Uncle Mike." Frankie said finally getting Mike's name correct.

"That's very generous of him! Now what do you say when someone gives you something?" Kara asked her, Frankie turned and ran over to Mike while he held the toy.

"Thank you, Uncle Mike." Frankie told Mike.

"You're very welcome." Mike said with a closed lip smile.


	41. Chapter 41

"You've got to be bored of laying around. I know I'd be going stir crazy by now." Sasha said as she pulled up a chair by Danny's bed and sat down.

"It's not bad." He said in his breathless manner. The tubes that had been draining his wound were removed but he was still healing which was good. However, from what Sasha heard, he had had part of his left lung removed to the tissue going necrotic instead of healing from the infection Danny had caught from having a dirty tube shoved in between his ribs to keep his lung functioning.

"How's the one and half lungs thing going?" she asked him, she knew it was callous but she felt if their roles were reversed he'd be an asshole about it too.

"Tough. Breathing isn't easy." Danny admitted, though everything felt harder for him since getting shot. It didn't seem fair given his friends bounced back from their injuries faster than he was.

"It won't be for awhile until your other injuries are healed but I spoke with your Doctor. She said you're supposed to be up and walking around. It's supposed to help you heal faster." Sasha told him, she really wanted to tell him to pull himself together but it seemed hypocritical given the state of her life.

"What does she know?" Danny scoffed.

"More than you or I know about medicine and the human body." Sasha quipped in a wry manner.

"So… you're here giving me a hard time too?" Danny said, he struggled to get out a full sentence without taking a few breaths.

"I had time to kill while waiting for test results." Sasha told him.

"What's your problem?" Danny asked her. Sasha gave a shrug, she wasn't ready to read out her list of issues to Danny as he had enough on his plate to deal with.

"Don't know, could be vitamin deficiency or it could be panic attacks." Sasha said frankly. She didn't see any harm in being brutal as she felt if she shared her problems. Maybe Danny would reciprocate, she had no idea what was going through his head. But there was something eating him as he usually didn't get down on himself like this. He was usually the first to get back and help others.

"I hope for your sake it's the former. It'd be bad to lose you from the teams." Danny said.

"You too, which is why I think we should go for a walk." Sasha suggested to him.

"I walk to the bathroom." Danny grumbled as if it were enough.

"Yeah, that's great. But I'm talking about going outside, fresh air. It's getting nice and crisp out there." Sasha told him.

"No, I'm tired." Danny huffed.

"I'll find an attractively beefy male nurse to put you in a wheel chair." Sasha said casually like it wasn't a big deal.

"No, I don't want to get up. I'm tired." Danny said surly. Sasha levelled him with a serious look.

"Danny, you need to get out of this bed and out of this room. You need to get back on your feet. Not for your family or anyone else but for your own sanity. Don't make me call Slattery or Meylan and have one of them order you. It's just childish, this is childish and you're better than that." Sasha told him in a firm manner.

"Fine." Danny told her, she gave a nod mentally smiling as she was glad for the small victory.

"I'll get the nurse." Sasha told him.

* * *

"That kid could get away with murder, he's so cute." Naz said after Kara and Frankie left.

"I'd convict him if he was guilty. Cute or not." Mike said with a closed lip smile, but she was right. Frankie was a cute kid, given his parents; he was probably going to grow up to be a heart breaker. Probably an intelligent one given who his mother was.

"You did a good thing letting him keep the toy." Naz said, Mike nodded as he didn't want to put too much sentimentality onto a toy. Yes, it was a big thing for him to let it go but it had made him feel good. Not just to see Frankie's face light up.

"Christine and I bought them because we enjoyed seeing the kids so happy and playing with them. It felt wrong to hold onto them, it is wrong. I want them to used again." Mike told her.

"Do you want more children?" she asked him, a casual question but so loaded at the same time.

"I meant to donate the toys." Mike said as he realised his words had been misinterpreted. But he also wasn't sure how to answer her question as it felt like it would hold more weight between them than they had prepared for.

"Ah, yeah of course." Naz said, she shook her head as if dismissing some random thought.

"But, as to your question. I don't know if I want more kids. I think by the time you have your citizenship and move on. I'll be too old to really consider it. I feel pretty old now." He said honestly, he was truthful in not knowing. He loved his kids, he loved children in general. They seemed to put everything into perspective.

"What if I didn't move on?" Naz asked him. Mike snapped out his thoughts and looked at her.

"What do you mean?" He asked as he didn't want to read too much into it. He didn't want to because he'd start to hope for something that might not happen.

"You know what? Never mind. This is the wrong time to have this conversation." Naz told him.

"No, let's have it." Mike said, Naz looked unsure of herself which was rare for her. But instead of shutting down as he expected her to. She spoke.

"I like you a lot," She started, but stopped as she wore a thoughtful expression. It was as if she were weighing her options and choosing her words carefully before she looked at him with a serious expression. "I care very deeply about you. It's only been a few weeks and maybe everything is just muddled. I don't know, but I really enjoy being with you, the life we're carving out. I know there is still a lot we don't know about another, but we have fun and I feel really good with you." Naz said rambling nervously.

"You want to stay? Permanently?" he asked, part of him desperately wanted her to say 'yes' as he wanted the permanence and stability of a long term relationship. Especially one without a used by date. He felt in his bones that he could be potentially be happy with her in the long term. But he didn't want to bank on something that may never happen.

"It's something I would seriously consider and accept. If it was on the table." Naz told him.

"You want kids." He stated, as he felt it was a foregone conclusion. For some reason it felt rife with stress to even discuss. He wasn't sure in uncertain details what he wanted. At least not in a realistic manner. He did have fantasies but he was old enough to know fantasies never became reality.

"I'd be ok either way, but I would prefer to discuss it another day given who wouldn't want kids after the parade of cute kids and seeing Frankie adore you for giving him that shark?" Naz asked him with a warm smile.

"Fair enough." Mike said with a closed lip smile. He could appreciate that there was no way they could have a clear-headed conversation given what little sleep they did have. Even he looked at Frankie and felt that paternal tug inside him, the part of him that secretly did want kids again. But he had to push that part of him deep within him as he wasn't in any position to have a child or even adopt one given his job.

"So, table this for tomorrow?" she asked.

"Sure." Mike said, letting her off the hook.

"Now, what do you want for dinner?" Naz asked him, changing the topic.

* * *

"This isn't too bad." Sasha said as she pushed his wheelchair into the park that the hospital had for people to enjoy fresh air and sunshine when their family visited.

"You're wearing pants. Trust me, it's bad." Danny said as he felt the crisp air more keenly than her as he only had on a bath robe, a flimsy gown and a blanket. He hated the wheelchair, he hated his oxygen tank. He wanted to be whole like he had been before the doctors went in and ripped out his stuffing. At least that's how it felt.

"I'm trying to be positive. Though, I think I'm still a little hungover, so I can see how I might be misinterpreted." Sasha admitted.

"You drinking?" Danny asked, she parked him by a table and sat down. Danny moved his feet from the stirrups and place them in the grass. It was cold out, but the feel of earth beneath his feet was rejuvenating in itself.

"Naz had her hen's party. I was lucky to wake up without a tattoo." Sasha said, Danny laughed and then coughed a little. But still a smile was on his face which was an improvement from his grumpiness.

"I remember her being really odd but Kara likes her." Danny said, he hated to admit it but it did feel good to be outside and have grass under his bare feet. He wished he felt strong enough to leave as he had sorely wanted to be with Kara and Frankie. They had dropped by earlier in their costumes. He ached to trick or treat with them. But he was so damnably weak.

"She's still pretty odd but she's good value." Sasha told him.

"Hey guys!" a familiar voice called out, Sasha and Danny turned to see Miller walk over to them with a happy smile on his face.

"Miller, hey." Sasha said with a smile, she shook hands with him.

"Hey man, what you doing here?" Danny said as he and Miller shook hands after Sasha.

"Just got clearance for full duty. Something I never thought I'd say after getting shot in the ass." Miller said holding up his copy of the paperwork with an easy smile. Danny felt a pang of envy as it was so easy for Miller.

"You finally get that purple heart." Sasha drawled mockingly.

"Yeah, my Mom is so proud. What are you all doing out here?" Miller asked them.

"Getting fresh air." Sasha said as she pulled out her phone that was ringing. "That's me, I gotta head inside." She told them, she looked a little unsure about leaving Danny but Miller stepped up.

"Hey, we're good here. I'll make sure the L.T. makes it back to his room." Miller said.

"Thanks and see you around." Sasha said before she disappeared into the building.

"So, how you doing?" Miller asked as he sat down where Sasha had been sitting. He folded up his paperwork and stuffed it in the inside pocket of his jacket.

"I'm good." Danny lied.

"Still here, though." Miller said making a face as if he'd expected Danny to be at home already.

"I had some complications." Danny said.

"Damn, you know Burk, Wolf and I have been dropping around your place helping Kara out. Even Sasha, and Alisha. You know we got you guys back." Miller assured him, Danny frowned as it seemed like overkill, he wasn't dead and Kara was self sufficient.

"She's fine." Danny said dismissively, he knew Kara and he were fighting. She seemed to think he was being a baby and needed to get better fast. But she had no idea what he was going through or how hard it was for him. That he was doing his best.

"Bro, your kid is a pocket rocket. You're missing out on it all. Kara is not ok, she's struggling and you're supposed to be there to help her." Miller told him bluntly.

"I'm injured." Danny said as he was sick of people thinking he was better when he was far from it.

"Yeah, and no one is asking you to run a marathon. We're asking you to get off your ass and do what you gotta do to get back to your family. Maybe you can't be on the teams, but you can be a really awesome Dad and husband. At the very least, Frankie deserves your A-Game." Miller told him.

"Where do you get off talking to me like that?" Danny asked him incredulously.

"I'm the kid whose Dad checked out on him when he was ten to an Oxycotin addiction. The guy who knows how messed up it feels to lay on the ground and feel your life and blood drain out of you. I endured that shit for days in Takehaya's camp." Miller reminded, Danny paled and straightened up as Miller put him in his place. He'd shared some deep truths that Danny had never realised the man had been carrying. Not many really understood what happened to those in Takehaya's camp but listening to Miller admit so much was chilling.

"Miller-" he started but Miller shook his head.

"Don't pity me." Miller warned him, "We know that we signed up for, we're not invincible. You may think it's better to lay in that bed where it's safe and you can hide until you're stronger. But it's bullshit. You need to get back to your kid and wife. They need you to support them, just as much as you support them." Miller said.

"I get it." Danny said as he heard Miller, he didn't know why but he also saw the small boy Miller had once been. The one who's father checked out when all he wanted was for his father to be present and love him. Miller was right, Danny couldn't chase Frankie around the yard. But he could be there.

"They don't need you to move heaven and earth, man. They need you to be present and just try to help round the house. Be with them." Miller said. Danny looked away and the two lapsed into long moment of silence while they both digested their own problems.

"Damn." Danny muttered, breaking the silence.

"What?" Miller asked.

"I'm freezing my balls off and just schooled by the kid on my team." Danny said with a wry smile.

"Yeah, you got problems Bro." Miller told him, the two shared a look and laughed. Danny shoved the man in a playful manner. Miller swayed over pretending Danny's shove had pushed him when they knew better. But Danny appreciated the preservation of his vanity.

"I'm sorry about your Dad." Danny said sincerely, Miller gave an awkward shrug.

"We all got our damage. What we do with it, is what's important. When I have kids, I'm going to be there 100%." Miller told him.

* * *

"You're severely allergic to Oats and see this other large hive spot?" he asked as he pointed to the hives on her inner arms. She had many hives and some were small and only a few were large.

"Yes." Sasha said.

"That's Soylent, I'm surprised you haven't ended up in the ER almost immediately after consuming it." he told her as he measured the size of the hive on Sasha's arm where he'd applied an allergy test. She felt the test would've been bogus as she didn't have allergies. She didn't suffer hay fever or anything. Yet, here she was staring at a few hives on her arm.

"If I was severely allergic as this test says, then shouldn't I have swelled up and been dead and bloating by now?" she asked him, she knew how allergies worked. At least from a distance as Miller seemed to allergic to everything which was why he popped antihistamines like they were tic tacs.

She should feel relieved as her blood work was fine, her ECG, ultrasounds and x-rays came back showing nothing out of the ordinary. She was fine except for her apparent allergies. It was annoying as she didn't want allergies, she loved food.

"Not necessarily. Allergic reactions can show in different ways. You have the rash on the back and you said you've been having headaches, nausea and dizziness. Could be that is how severe your reaction gets when you ingest the food. But I can tell you that your other test results came back, you're losing weight rapidly, your BP and cholesterol are high, so is your IgA levels which suggests your immune system is working overtime. All indicative that your body is under a lot of stress and not digesting the Soylent." Rios said looking through the results.

"I've never been allergic to anything. I've been able to eat what I like whenever I like. Why now?" Sasha asked.

"Most allergies develop in childhood but it's not unheard of for people to develop allergies later in life." Rios said.

"So, I should just take an antihistamine in the morning before I have my soylent?" Sasha asked with a frown, but Rios shook his head.

"No, you need to be off the soylent. You're also allergic to the drink and like I said before; I also suspect you're intolerant to something else in the mix. It would partly explain your other symptoms that aren't entirely congruent with an allergic reaction. The anxiety, insomnia issues. I still want you to see a therapist, something I've recommended for the entire crew given what we've all endured. So, don't feel as if I'm purposefully targeting you or suggesting anything untoward. I just believe you like the others need a mental check in." Rios told her, Sasha nodded as she understood and she appreciated his small ramble in trying to make sure she didn't assume that he was saying her symptoms were entirely psychological in nature.

"So, what can't I eat anymore?" Sasha asked, she would make certain to get to a therapist's office as it wasn't beneath her to think she was immune to psychological damage. She knew she needed to vent her issues and gain perspective from a unbiased third party.

"I'm giving you a list of your allergies. Our main concern is that you really shouldn't drink Soylent anymore. I'd suggest you try to avoid your new allergies or reduce your exposure to them. See if you feel any benefits from it." He told her.

"Ok, but what does this mean in a larger sense?" Sasha asked him as she thought about her job.

"It means your body likes food that hasn't been fussed with." Rios said with a smile as he typed it into her medical file. "It also means that you qualify for more food rations and protein powder that you had on the Nathan James. You seemed to do well on it." He added, not entirely answering her question.

"I can't complain about that." Sasha said as she hadn't planned on getting off the Soylent. But given she was legitimately ill because of it. She was happy to give it up.

"No, I wouldn't. Don't worry, you aren't alone in this. There are quite a few people who have had issues with Soylent and had to be taken off the diet regiment." Rios told her.

"Ok, but it shouldn't affect my duty status, right?" she asked getting to the point.

"About that, while; no, it won't affect your duty status. I would prefer you cut your hours back. You've been working for over two years without a break and very long hours. You need a holiday or a serious reduction in work hours for your health in general or you could burn out. You need to rest and recuperate." Rios advised her.

"But I thought-"

"Dietary changes will help but you need sleep, six to eight hours uninterrupted sleep a night and at least 24 hours of recreational time a week." Rios stressed to her.

"Ok, I hear you." Sasha said with a wry smile as she could see he had practice at telling sailors to take a break.

"This is good, and hopefully once we remove the allergens from your diet and you get some sleep. It's important now to take the time. Rest up while the world isn't in a life threatening crisis." Rios said, Sasha bit her tongue as she wanted to say they were in crisis but he was right. The current 'crisis' was a marathon not a sprint.

She needed to rest and relaxed, maybe by changing her diet and having some self care would remove her stress or at least decrease it. Even now, she felt tense and stressed, like she was waiting for something dangerous to happen. For something to fall apart that she'd have to fix.

"I'll do my best." Sasha said.

"Just remember, this isn't a cure all. It's just the first few stages of a treatment. If they work, then great. If they don't then we need to take a deeper look into what's going on. But at the moment, looking at your blood and other test results… I can't see any indication to what it could be besides allergies and/or food intolerances. I know, it's frustrating but sometimes the simplest things make the biggest difference." Rios told her.

* * *

Late that evening,

Mike laid in bed next to Naz. He had been watching her sleep in the dark playing her rambling confessions in his head. He smiled softly as he felt like he was at a true turning point in his life. It was actually one of the easiest decisions he would make in years.

"I want you to stay with me. Permanently." He told her in a low whisper, she didn't even stir as she slept on. Completely unaware to his confession. "I'm not sure about the kids, but I'd be open to it." He added.

If felt good to say it out loud even if he was coward for not saying it to her face while she was awake. But he figured, they'd have time to talk about it. The fact he could say it out loud was a profound moment for him. He was used to tabling his wants to satisfy others, but in this he wanted to be selfish.

Naz replied with a snore, Mike chuckled as it definitely killed the moment but he didn't mind as he felt relaxed from his decisions. Nothing was set in stone, but just opening himself up felt better than worrying about what might not be. Instead, he closed his eyes and let the rhythmic sound of her snores lull him off to sleep.

* * *

A few weeks passed by in their world,

Mike and Naz didn't talk about their relationship or kids. The conversation still unsettled between them, but strangely it didn't affect them. They just settled into a nice, comfortable and quiet way of life.

Mike was amazed at how much better he felt about his world with Naz by side. Maybe, it was her laid back manner that helped him unwind or the fact he was consistently getting laid and sleeping at least 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep. But he felt more relaxed than he had in years. He actually didn't care about things that would've bent him entirely out of shape like drinking his food 90% of time or the fact neighbourhood watch A.K.A. Candace tried to pry into their business and telling them how to look after their property.

Naz didn't take Candace's interference well, but Mike was able to mellow her out before she could find a way to paint their house the colour of Cheetos. But other than that, life was good.

They had painted the exterior, not Cheetos orange but a dark blue grey colour with white accents. They had packed up majority of the kids' rooms and donated everything they could to local charities. Mike had kept a few toys and some clothing as he was able to let go of a lot. But part of him still needed to hold onto something.

He had no idea what they would do with the rooms. They hadn't discussed it, he liked that there wasn't a rush or push from her to make something of it. They started seeing a psychologist; separately as Mike felt it was important they address their grief and the mental toll of the past few years. He'd figured on Naz being the one with more baggage, but he found himself surprised to realise he had just as much to unpack emotionally. While it was hard to talk about it, he forced himself to as he didn't want to burn out. He also didn't want to hold onto all the pain and grief he carried with him. He didn't want it to unknowingly swallow him whole and twist him out of shape like it had with Sasha and Tom. No, he wanted be happy.

It wasn't easy, but with Naz; he found a different kind of happiness. He could see them being happy for a long time, no matter what problems cropped up. While they didn't talk about it, Mike knew Naz wanted the same.

Naz just gelled with his world. She worked hard for it. Studying American history and everything Navy that wasn't classified. He saw the effort she made with Tom to be amicable when he dropped round for a visit. She had friends from the crew that she went to yoga and the odd Pilates class with. It was good to see her settling into his world and finding her place. Not just with him, but her own way so that when he eventually deployed, he knew she could function without him. He hoped his deployment wasn't for a long while as he liked being home.

He walked into the house after collecting the mail for the day and smiled as Naz hung another photo of them to the hallway wall of photos. She was singing to the stereo that was playing Sergio Mendes and Brasil 66 'Mas que nada'. Her hips swaying to the rhythm music in what Mike found to be a seductive manner.

"Hey, you've got mail." Mike said as he held up an official looking letter in his hand. Naz smiled as she danced and half walked over to him before she snatched the letter from his hand.

"Immigration." She said, she nearly tore the envelope in half to get the contents. She unfolded the letter and gave a sigh of relief as her green card sat stuck on the paper informing her of her immigration status.

"Wow, who knew a couple of weeks would mean about 5 weeks and I looked pretty terrible." Naz said with a laugh, looking at the picture on her green card. She practically shoved it in his face so he wasn't left out of the loop.

"I've seen worse." Mike lied, she beamed with happiness from behind the card. A true picture of health in comparison to the woman in the picture.

"You know what this means?" she asked him excitedly.

"Yes, I do." He replied feeling her excitement. It meant they could get married as soon as the licence was approved. Sealing their fate together until she naturalised as a citizen of America. Unless he brought up the subject of her staying more permanently. But bringing up that topic in a natural manner was hard.

"I say that we put in our paperwork for the marriage licence, celebrate by eating out tonight." Naz said with a grin.

"Sounds like a plan." Mike said.

"I'm buying." She told him.

"No, you're not." Mike told her, Naz laughed as it was one of their endless arguments. "My treat." He said as he caught her hand and playfully tug her into his arms. She hummed in appreciation.

"When do I get to treat you?" she asked him as she rested her hands on his chest.

"My birthday." Mike offered, she gave him an incredulous look.

"Your birthday isn't for another year." Naz pointed out to him, He smiled as he nodded unapologetically. He just liked giving her gifts, the thing was that she wasn't into shiny baubles or flowers. She loved food, he wanted to spoil when and where he can.

"Exactly, you should save your money for my Christmas present." Mike told her in a tongue and cheek manner.

"I'm going to buy you a whole cow." She informed him in a smart ass manner.

"Live or butchered? Because I'm telling you now we don't space for either." He said pointing out a flaw in her plan.

"Good point." She said thoughtfully. "I will find something for you or I'll just have to fight you over the bill." She added teasingly.

"Or you could let me be a chauvinist when it comes to buying you dinner. It makes me feel very manly and powerful." He told her in a half mocking manner. Naz snorted a laugh and gave a nod as she accepted defeat.

"Ok, I forfeit my paying rights when it comes to meals out." She told him.

"Thank you," he kissed her nose, leaned back as he looked at her with faint smile on his lips. "Now, let's go put in the paperwork so we can get married." He told her.

* * *

"I got you!" Sasha said in a cartoonish voice as she lifted a giggling Frankie off the ground. His chubby little legs kicked excitedly in the air as he was having fun. "I got you!" she said as she moved him around in the air.

"Down! Me down!" Frankie said between cute little giggles.

"And he goes down!" Sasha announced as she placed him back on the ground. He turned around and held his arms up at her.

"Up! Up!" He demanded, but Sasha shook her head and laid onto the ground in a breathless heap. Not because she was exhausted but because she over picking up and putting Frankie down. It was like going to the gym but the weights talked back.

"No, Auntie Sasha is tired. Oomph, gentle kiddo." She told him as Frankie flopped down on top of her.

"Who wants afternoon snacks?" Danny asked as he came into the lounge room.

"Me!" Frankie said, Sasha winced as the kid stepped on her to get to his snack.

"Frankie, not cool." Danny said, shooting Sasha an apologetic smile as she got to her feet and moved to the coffee table.

"He wouldn't be the first boy to walk all over me. At least it's for Oreos and not another girl." Sasha said with a smile as she picked up one of the biscuits for herself.

"Those things never expire. It's not healthy." Danny said making a face as he looked conflicted like all parents. The age-old question about appropriate snacks for a child.

"Moderation is key and this is not a real Oreo. It's gluten free and have ¼ of the sugar the real ones used to and there are apple slices as a snack option. So, I don't think you need to worry. Frankie's healthy and sturdy for his size." She reminded him. She smiled as Danny had made a 180 turn from the weeks that had passed since she last seen him in the hospital. She didn't know what changed his demeanour that night but she knew it wasn't her words that did it. It didn't matter as the man had taken strides to get out the hospital and back home.

He was healing well, not just physically but mentally. Surprisingly, he had slipped into the role of Mr Stay at Home Dad pretty well. Sure, he still needed some help from his friends and family while Kara was on duty. But it was only because Frankie was a little bundle of energy and Danny still wasn't allowed to lift anything over a kilo. But he was present and trying which scored him huge points.

Sasha could see both Danny and Kara were better. They still had their stresses about the future but with Danny home; Kara was able to balance out her work, sleep and home life as Danny picked up the slack and a little more. Danny struggled with being a parent, a role he wasn't entirely used to as he'd spent majority of Frankie's life deployed. But he gave his best and he seemed to enjoying the challenge and the joy of being home.

"Thanks for apples." He said, Sasha nodded as she was halfway through eating her faux Oreo.

"You're welcome. They were just going to go rotten on me." She lied, giving up soylent and taking Rios' orders to heart had helped flipped her world right side up. She still felt emotionally messy but she had stopped lashing it out on everyone around her. The stress and anxiety were easier to manage now she was sleeping better than she had in a long time. She cut back her hours, knowing it was a huge career sacrifice on her part but her mental and emotional health thanked her immensely. She had even started seeing a therapist which was helping her sort out her emotional baggage and put things into a different perspective. It helped immeasurably as she hadn't realised how much of her anxiety and anger came from her own grief and sheer exhaustion of trying to survive the last three years.

"I wish I was allergic to Soylent." Danny told her, he got down into the floor. Frankie climbed into Danny's lap and leaned against his chest as he drank on his sippy cup.

"I figured you'd love the ease of it." Sasha told him.

"Yeah, but trying to get Frankie to eat it? Is just messy, I don't know how Kara does it. But she gets Frankie to eat it and enjoy it." Danny said as he looked down at Frankie, enjoying the bond and trust between father and son in this moment.

"She's a woman and that makes her much stronger and wiser than you." Sasha said, in a tongue and cheek manner.

"Have you found an apartment yet?" he asked changing the topic like a smart man would.

"Yes, I signed the lease and I'm moving in next week. It's very exciting." Sasha said with a smile, as she couldn't be happier to finally move out of the BOQ and into her own space.

"You'll still be ok to look after Frankie right?" Danny asked, Sasha nodded.

"Of course, he and I are going to have fun while Mommy and Daddy finally have their first date." She said in a sing song voice as it was a running joke that Danny and Kara were married but hadn't even had a proper date. Now they both had time, they were trying to make an effort to have 'adult' time together in having sit down meals or going to the movies.

"It's not our first date. It's a 'special' date and we've had many of them." He corrected her, Sasha chuckled at his defensiveness as it was adorable.

* * *

"Ok, let's thanks our Guest speaker, Sergeant Kandie for her time." Tom calling it quits as he'd run over his class time by fifteen minutes. But then he could blame Azima given she didn't take notice of his warning signals that she was running over time. She shamelessly loved every moment of the cadets soaking up her stories and knowledge.

The cadets applauded while Azima smiled and nodded.

"Class dismissed, enjoy your lunch. You only have 45 minutes left of lunch to enjoy." He told them. That cleared out the room faster than a fire drill.

Azima packed up her laptop. She was dressed in Kenyan naval uniform, he assumed it was their version of Dress blues. She had more ribbons than he expected for someone so young. But then she had been in service during the pandemic and most likely had endured some conflict with the Immunes.

"Thank you for coming in." Tom told her.

"You're welcome. I can see why you would love it. The energy is intoxicating, all that power and influence over youthful exuberance. I'm amazed Sasha turned you down." She remarked.

"She's looking after herself. I can respect that." Tom said, he had to admit it kind of hurt that she felt she needed space from him but he understood her reasons. She wasn't ready for a serious relationship and their friendship wasn't easy to maintain in more than short bursts. But he knew once she was feeling better, she'd come back into his world again. He was just grateful that Sasha was present when Ashley needed her.

"Have you seen her recently?" Azima asked.

"You know I haven't." Tom said, he didn't know what the woman was playing at but he wasn't interested in indulging her.

"You should try." Azima told him.

"What does it matter to you?" Tom asked her, suspicious of her motives.

"Sometimes fear makes us avoid what we really want instead of going for it. Just give it some thought. Anyway, I have to go. Wolf promised me a steak dinner." Azima told him as she hefted her laptop bag onto her shoulder and smoothed her uniform out. Tom nodded and watched her go.

He understood what she was saying but he didn't know how to approach Sasha. He wasn't sure he should given that he said he'd wait. Pushing himself into her world when she wasn't ready, would just do the opposite of what he wanted. He frankly was enjoying the time to himself.

He had more time for his kids, he had picked up time with Mike as they went indoor rock climbing once a week. He knew if or when he and Sasha finally came together, he'd have to find space in his life, space he wasn't willing to sacrifice at the moment. He certainly didn't want to make space for the toxic side he and Sasha seemed to bring out in one another.

So, he was happy to wait for her, to wait until she and well... he was ready to be a healthy relationship.


	42. Chapter 42

"Oh, man. I think I might cry this is so good." Naz told Mike, her eyes burning with happy tears as she was eating the best BBQ ribs and side dishes of her life. She was in foodie heaven, they were only 1/4 of the way through. She was so happy, she had a green card. They had lodged their application for a marriage licence. She was eating an amazing meal with Mike, celebrating. She never thought in a million years she get to be in such a consistent state of happiness. Today, they topped out on the most normalcy to be experienced. She felt normal, her past a blur in the background.

"You are crying." He told her in amusement and with slight concern. She wiped the tears from her face and smiled.

"It's just so good." She told him before she took a sip of her non-alcoholic ginger beer. Mike had to agree, it was the most extravagant but ridiculously delicious meal he had in a very long time that wasn't prepared by Bacon. Sure, Naz's cooking was pretty good but this was just next level. He was loving every minute, seeing her enjoyment. The fact that she was a shadow of the woman he'd first met. She glowed at him through her tears.

"Are you ok?" Mike asked her.

"These are the best ribs of my life. That sauce is perfection, smoked meat? Just wow. I can't believe how melt in the mouth this is. Just top 5 of the best meals of my life." She told him enthusiastically.

"Should I be jealous?" Mike asked in amusement as it sounded like she wanted to marry the ribs.

"No, I'm going to make you very happy tomorrow as I'm going to be well rested after tonight's food coma." Naz told him, with a sigh before she picked up another rib and started eating. Mike chuckled.

"I'm pretty happy at the moment but I'm still looking forward to tomorrow." He told her with a wink. She smiled before she ate a mouthful of freshly baked cornbread and moaned in pleasure. He loved seeing her pleasure from the simplicity of a good meal. Though he did wish she'd not moan as it was turning him on but he'd survive as it was worth it.

"I can't wait for the famine to be over so we can eat like this more often." She said in a low voice. She like Mike couldn't understand why it was taking so long for food restrictions to lift. For the news to announce a cure to the rest rust, but he had a feeling President Howard didn't want people to cheer a success until to have a new problem threaten their lives again.

"Same, I actually know how to make cornbread and BBQ ribs. Dare I say," he leaned in and spoke in a lower voice. "They are better than this place." He informed her smugly.

"Big talk, Fella. Sure you can back it up?" Naz asked, she quirked a questioning eyebrow at him in a playful manner.

"I can back it up." Mike promised her.

"Then I look forward it." She told him as she was. She didn't know when the food restrictions would finally let up but she planned on being with Mike for a very long time. Well, for as long as he'd have her.

* * *

"You have got to stop!" Ashley told Tom over dinner.

"Why? you said you didn't mind." Tom said as Ashley snapped at him. It wasn't entirely like her to act so impulsively at least in being angry at him.

"Well I do because I'm sick of hearing about it. It's just a stupid dress code and everything! Argh, I can't do this." Ashley said completely frustrated, Tom and Sammy watched in awe as Ashley skulled her Soylent in less than 5 seconds and placed the glass on the table. She gave an aggravated sigh. "May I please be excused?" she asked politely but she was angry, she stood up but Tom gave her a look that made her stop.

"No, I'd like to talk about it and hopefully before you vomit." Tom told her, she covered her mouth and belched loudly Sammy laughed while Ashley looked a little green as she sat back down. He had to wonder where Ashley learnt to skull a drink like a college frat boy.

"I'm not going to vomit. I just want you to give it up. I'm tired of you mansplaining how things should be for women. How would you even know, you're a man. You don't have the same problems as women." Ashley said in a tart manner.

"Mansplaining? Is that even a word?" Tom asked her incredulously.

"Yes, so can't you give it up? I don't see you fighting the good fight for women in the Navy." Ashley said.

"It's different. The Navy is steeped in long held traditions and while it is changing, it's a slow process. Your school however should be an ever-evolving system adapting to time and social changes." Tom told her, even though he could say the same for the Navy as it was ever evolving. But he couldn't begin to tackle it as he had no clout. But he had managed to make a lot of headway with the dress code and in helping provide the school with more services than it had before especially for the girls as Candace's ideas of helping the school only catered to the boys.

"But it's not. So, I'd like you to give up. They've already refused two of your proposals and I got 5 years to go. I just want to get them over with as peacefully as possible without being the freak who's Dad has to change the way we all dress. Can you respect and accept that?" Ashley asked him.

"Ok, I'll drop it. But I'm still going to PTA meetings. It's important to me, to be involved." Tom told her, he of course was lying as he was not giving up the dress code fight. He felt it was important, and he knew once he won two more school board members to his side; then the dress code would be amended and a job well done for him. Ashley would eventually forgive, at least he hoped so. She did forgive him for eating the last pop tart, so there was hope.

"Fine, now may I go upstairs?" She asked him.

"Sure." Tom said, Ashley took her escape and raced out the kitchen and up the stairs.

"She's been acting really weird of late." Sammy observed once Ashley was out of earshot.

"I'm sure it's just stress from trying to keep up with the school load. Speaking of, you failed your science exam. Want to tell me what happened there?" he asked Sammy, his son gave him a shrug. "In words, preferably full and long sentences." He added.

"It's hard." Sammy said, Tom waited for more but after an awkward few seconds passed; he knew that was all he was going to get.

"Do you want to get a tutor?" Tom asked him, he really wished Sammy was more verbose but he knew better than to try for more.

"No." Sammy said.

"Sammy, you need to understand science for life. If not that. Then you should learn it to at least win free beer at trivia night when you're 21." Tom told his son in a serious manner. Sammy made a face as he didn't care but Tom could guarantee Sammy would regret it, if he didn't put in the effort.

"I'm going to be a manga artist." Sammy told him.

"Still need science to understand how your paints, inks and paper work together." Tom said, he inwardly frowned as he sounded like one of his cadets. He made a note to make some time for adult interaction before he said stupid things like 'gots to make your art totes sick, Sammy by knowing the science of life.'.

"I'll do better next time, if not then we'll talk about tutoring." Sammy bargained.

"Or we can talk about it now and get you back on track right a way than keep putting it off." Tom offered with a smile

"You could help me." Sammy said. Tom felt his smile turn false as science was not his strong suit. He still had flashbacks to Rachel tart patronising tone as she tiredly explained to him the science behind what she had been doing. In her defence, she had to suffer a lot idiots before she ended up on his ship.

"Ok, I'll help you but if there's no improvement. Then we're getting you a tutor as it is important." Tom told him.

* * *

A couple days later,

"I believe we should be focussed on keeping tabs on Ecuador." Kara said to the table, Sasha heard Peter the class asshole snorted a laugh as he thought it was a joke. But Kara pushed on with her presentation; ignoring the man's derisiveness.

"Gustavo Barros and Hector Martinez. They are making a lot waves in South America as influential people. Hector appears to have a larger internet presence as he's a hacktivist. He provides the platform which Gustavo uses to reach his audience. Both have the same message, they promote anti-American agenda and push for South America to be recognised as a super power that America must bow to. They promote Unification of surrounding countries' military and governments to show their power and take back what they perceive 'we' have stolen from them from over the last few decades by the Americans." Kara said.

"They had the hottest zone on the planet. There's barely any infrastructure or survivors. What threat could they possibly be?" Peter asked.

"Gustavo was a Major in Ecuadorian Military and during the pandemic he managed to maintain several safe zones during the pandemic. He is considered a hero of the people. He's now their leader and it looks to have over 500 soldiers under his command it's growing in numbers every day. He has large following on instagram and twitter where he proudly displays the wealth of his country and his military." Kara told him.

"All of them would be bots. As for this intel, it's just propaganda." Peter argued.

"Possibly but we haven't sent anyone in to see what the true condition of South America or Ecuador is. I think it would be a good idea given the anti- American rhetoric coming from there. It's easier to sneak a nuke over a border than ship it overseas. So it could tie back to our missing nukes and where they have been taken." Sasha said, backing Kara up. She felt her iphone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and read a message from Naz. It said she had her wedding licence and it was time to plan. Sasha pocketed her phone and looked back at Peter wishing the man would have a heart attack and die at his desk. Save them all from his miserable attitude.

"Ecuador is a tiny spot on the map." Peter argued.

"Size doesn't matter when you have the resources and loyalty of a lot people to back you in a war." Sasha told him.

"I agree." Cho said taking over the meeting before Peter spoke. He looked to Kara, "Good work, I want a full report on my desk in the next couple of days. I want options to give the President on how to proceed from overt to covert operations." He told her.

"Yes, Sir." Kara replied.

"Ok Peter, since you're so vocal. What do you have to share on your progress." Cho said looking to the man.

"Nothing, I got dead ends. North Korea is playing it close to the chest." Peter said in a frustrated manner.

"What about the scientist? Where is he or she getting her supplies?" Sasha asked him.

"Probably from the surrounding countries. There are many cities that have been abandoned, basic lab equipment is easy to source." Peter said with a shrug.

"I doubt that, the UK could barely salvage one lab to produce the Red rust cure. Maybe it's an avenue to look into." Sasha suggested. Peter pursed his lips not impressed at all at her betrayal and making him look like a moron in comparison to Kara. Not that it was hard to do.

"It's a good idea," Cho said to Sasha, he looked to Peter. "You should get onto it. Anyone else have anything to offer?" he asked looking around the table. Many shook their head but Kara half raised her hand. "Green?" he asked.

"The nuclear weapons we're searching for from the US. They wouldn't have been transported correctly given majority of the people with the know how most likely perished in the pandemic. I mean, we all forget that you can't just pick up a nuke and toss it in the back of truck and drive off. It's a delicate and highly dangerous procedure to move them from storage to their next destination." Kara said thoughtfully.

"Ok, tell me more." Cho said with clear interest. sitting back in his chair.

"If they weren't transported properly with all the safe guards." Kara told him.

"They removed the trackers from the nukes. We can't track where they've gone. It's a waste of time." Peter told her.

"It's not, it means they had to damage the casing to get the tracker out which means the warheads could potentially be leaking radiation." Kara argued.

"We can't follow a trail of radiation with a satellite." Peter scoffed.

"No, because a satellite is too high up in the sky. But if we can narrow down where the nukes may have been taken to a smaller search area. We could deploy drones with sensors on them, do flybys until we find a hot spot. Then send in a special ops team to confirm it is one of our nukes." Kara told them, Cho nodded impressed with Kara. Sasha inwardly smiled as Kara might not like ONI but she was great at pulling large amounts of information together in a short time to make a compelling case.

"We should look into medical reports from US, investigate anyone with symptoms of radiation poisoning. If we haven't already." Sasha said adding to Kara's assessment.

"We did a few months ago, but there's no harm in checking again." Cho said, a few minutes more of discussion passed before everyone was dismissed. Sasha and Kara left the meeting room heading to their cornered section of the building. Sasha being on less working hours meant she lost the privilege of an office. But Sasha didn't care.

"You're too good at this." Sasha told Kara, the young woman made a face as if she were unsure about it.

"I prefer regular Navy. It's straightforward and half as cutthroat as this place." She said in a low voice. Sasha nodded in understanding.

"Office politics are a little different on dry land, I'll give you that." Sasha said in amusement as she missed the collaborative nature of the Nathan James. The crew were all about team work, whereas the office they were in was the opposite. They had to play nice and work together but there was an underlying competition to everything.

"What was the text about?" Kara asked as she hadn't missed Sasha looking at her phone during the meeting.

"Naz has her green card." Sasha said.

"That's great." Kara said with a smile.

"Yes, which means the wedding will happen soon. Naz has these mini meltdowns about flowers and why there isn't any chocolate left in the world." Sasha said, grateful for some good news as it was a welcome break from the doom and gloom of their work.

"I ask myself that question every day. I miss chocolate too, carob is ok but it's not the same." Kara said with a sigh.

* * *

"You look sickeningly happy for someone who just finished a therapy session." Mira told Naz as they sat in a cafe on the main street waiting for Sasha to join them.

"I am. Dr Brandt isn't too bad and I'm not letting my problems get in the way of my life." Naz said before she took a sip of her tea. She liked the therapist as he didn't look at her like she was crazy. The coping exercises he gave her, mostly worked which was better than her ducking for cover when a door slammed.

"Is he handing out drugs in his session?" Mira asked her incredulously.

"No." Naz said with a chuckle.

"Maybe I should check my head in with him." Mira said.

"Everything ok?" Naz asked her.

"Yeah, just part of my profession. It's mandatory to have a yearly mental check in. To make sure we're not bent out of shape from losing patients to any catastrophic events." Mira said dismissively.

"Well, I can tick all those boxes." Naz said as she blew out a breath.

"You and Mike ok?" Mira asked.

"Yeah, we're good. Great even." Naz said, though she did wish she could just ask him the questions that had been plaguing her for the last few weeks. She wanted to stay, she didn't want to leave when her citizenship came in. She just didn't know how to say the words out loud. "But I do worry about what would be a deal breaker for Mike." She added.

"I don't think you have to worry about it. He loves you." Mira said with a smile before she took a sip of her own drink.

"He did put a ring on it." Naz joked, she wasn't sure Mike loved her but it was nice to pretend.

"He did." Mira agreed, the door the cafe opened they looked over to see Sasha rush over to them.

"Sorry, I'm late. Meeting ran over time." Sasha told them a little breathlessly as she pulled out a seat and sat down.

"It's all good. We ordered you Chamomile tea." Mira said as she pushed the cup of tea that was cooled down enough for Sasha to drink it.

"Why?" Sasha asked looking down at the tea. She wanted coffee, hell, she'd drink Chicory over Chamomile tea.

"Cause you need to calm down. Take a holiday." Mira told Sasha with an annoying smiled as Sasha gave her a glower.

"I'll get a holiday when I'm dead." Sasha quipped before she took a sip of her tea. She made a face as she didn't enjoy the flavour.

"I'd prefer you enjoy a holiday while alive. Joe is taking me down to Florida for a weekend getaway. Sun and fun in the sand for me." Mira said with a warm smile. She did a tiny dance in her seat.

"I'm jealous, with all this weather. I doubt we'll see the sun until April." Sasha said as she made the mistake of taking another sip of her tea. She placed the cup down and pushed it away from her.

"How bad is winter here?" Naz asked as she held her cup in her hands and sat back in her chair.

"Cold, it snows." Sasha told her, she saw Naz's worried expression. "But we'll get you sorted out with cold weather gear." She assured her.

"Be appreciated." Naz said, the idea of snow didn't thrill her but she already knew from Mike that snow would come through in the next few weeks. She had hoped he was lying so she wouldn't complain when the temperatures dropped lower than 20 degrees Celsius.

"But today, we're here for wedding plans." Mira said with an excited smile.

"Yes, we are. Mike got a card from Tom for a local florist. I called her and she has a shop just around the corner from here. We're getting a referral discount and I like her voice. So I want to buy from her already." Naz said, Mira and Sasha wore worried expressions at Naz's idea of what made a florist worthy of buying from but said nothing.

"Sounds good." Sasha said as her phone rang. She gave a sigh. "Sorry."

"Take it," Naz said in complete understanding. Sasha made a face as she picked up the call and stepped away from the table to take the call. She barely spoke for a few seconds before she returned to the table.

"I'm back and no more interruptions." Sasha said as she switched off her phone.

"Florist, then cake." Naz told her.

"Mike doesn't want to do cake testing?" Sasha asked as she couldn't see any man not wanting to sit down and eat cake.

"Oh yeah, he's meeting us at the bakery in an hour." Naz said with a grin.

* * *

Half an hour later, they ladies finished their tea and headed to the florist. The shop was beautiful from the outside but when they stepped in, it's appeal triple folded as the shop was filled to the brim with beautiful flowers of varying breeds and colours. It smelt amazing.

"Oh wow, it's so lovely in here." Naz said in wonder as she and the others wandered.

"Thank you, and welcome. I'm Jo, the owner." A woman said as she came out the back. She placed a large flower arrangement on a table. She turned and stopped as she looked at Sasha. "Oh wow." Jo said with a light chuckle, she wasn't the only one shocked.

"I'll say." Mira said as she took a photo with her iPhone. Jo and Sasha hadn't noticed as they were having a moment. "Now we know why you like her voice." Mira said to Naz. Sasha and Jo were near identical, the only exception was their hair, style of clothing and Jo had freckles.

"Are you guys related?" Naz asked out of curiosity.

"No." Sasha said as she stared at the woman who could've been her clone except her curly red hair, freckles and lumberjack chic aesthetic in clothing. She even sounded like Sasha if Sasha were super cheerful. The woman smiled so freely. It was almost infectious and in another way unnerving as it made Sasha wonder if she could be that happy and if she'd sound so chipper as Jo.

"I always wondered how I'd look with my hair straight and a different colour." Jo pulled on her own curly mop of hair with a smile. "It looks good. Is that your natural colour?" she asked her.

"Yes." Sasha said feeling a little unnerved.

"I'd have to dye my eyebrows and never step into sunlight to look just like you." Jo said with a laugh before a blush warmed her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, I'm being rude. It's just we look so-"

"Alike." Sasha offered.

"Yes, it's just uncanny." Jo said, but she gave a soft shake of her head and changed the topic. "Anyway, which of you is the bride?" Jo asked.

"Me, I'm Naz. We spoke on the phone." Naz said holding up her hand.

"Yes, and congratulations on the upcoming nuptials. Are you ladies the bridesmaids?" she asked looking to Mira and Sasha.

"Sasha is sort of my matron of honour and Mira-" Naz started but Mira cut her off.

"Came for cake and socialising. Those anemones are lovely." Mira said as she pointed to the flowers in question. Jo smiled and nodded.

"Yes, they've just come in. Majority of our stock are hydroponically grown and never seen the red rust or even the outdoors until they end up here. So, when you buy with me, you're supporting the local economy and botanical community." Jo explained with a grin. It probably would've meant something before the pandemic but nowadays everything was sourced in the USA. Or at least attempted.

"They are stunning." Naz said.

"So, what is your colour theme?" Jo asked Naz, Naz made a face as she hadn't given it any thought.

"Ah, we're going with a cool palette. My fiancé is going to be wearing a navy suit. We were thinking, one bouquet for me and about five boutonnieres for the men, three corsages for the women." She said repeating what she and Mike had discussed.

"It's going to be prom all over again. But no baby's breath." Mira said as she was already shopping for flowers on her own.

"No baby's breath apparently." Naz said as Jo smiled and nodded.

"Not a problem." Jo assured her.

"And a centre piece for the table at the dinner party. I'm sorry it's not going to be a big business for you." Naz said, feeling a little bad as she knew normal weddings had three times the amount of flowers. Jo didn't seem bothered as she waved a dismissive hand at her.

"Please, I don't care about that. My motto is 'any business is better than no business'. Now, given you said it's going to be in 3 weeks' time on a Monday-"

"It got changed to a Saturday. But still 3 weeks' time." Naz corrected as it only been changed that morning.

"Saturday, it's cutting it close if we need to order something in from out of town or if you want something exotic." Jo told her.

"Totally fine with normal, I love the kale flowers. Could we do something with them?" Naz asked as she gestured to the purple kale flowers that were on the wall.

"For sure, let's see. We take the Kale flower and we'll make it the central focus. Add in some purple anemones, lavender, perwinkle sweet peas and thistle." Jo said, she held the bouquet out to Naz to inspect. "It will of course be wrapped up and not dripping all over the place. Thoughts?" she asked her.

"Perfect." Naz said as it looked good to her. Jo smiled and Naz felt weirdly happy about her choices.

"You're my favourite bride. Usually I have to mock up at least several floral arrangements before they decide. Then they change their mind at least twice before settling on what they like." Jo said as she moved to the main desk that had a register and wrote down the order and the flower choices.

"I'm pretty easy." Naz replied.

"Corsages and boutonnieres will not have the kale flower as it's too big flower. It'd make the men look like clowns. But we can use the blue thistle with some lavender and maybe a little rosemary. It will sit better on the suit fabric. Let me just get one together so you get an idea of what it will look like." Jo told her with a cheerful smile.

"Ok." Naz said, "So, Mike my fiancé got your number from Tom. How do you know one another?" Naz asked wondering if Tom had noticed that Jo was basically a clone of Sasha but in civilian form. For some reason, she felt for Sasha.

"Our daughters go to school together and we're on the PTA together." Jo said.

"I hear he's stirring up a lot of trouble." Naz commented as she made conversation. Sasha shot her a look as if to say leave it alone but it was clear that Sasha was uncomfortable with her doppelganger.

"Not without good cause. The dress code is ridiculous as well as the uneven distribution of funds. Melody, my girl. She was crushed when the school wouldn't fund the girls' soccer team." Jo said as she worked on the flowers she had picked from around the room.

"It is a shame, but Iron grid is an institution." Mira said.

"I know, but Tom managed to get the Naval college to spare a few students to come out and clean up the local sports ground. He got approval for the girls to be able to practise there weekly. He even pulled together a couple of coaches to train the girls. Not just in soccer, but also in self-defence. The comradery and empowerment is really great to see after everything that happened during the pandemic." Jo said with a soft smile.

"Wow, that's impressive." Naz said as she could see Tom was going above and beyond for the kids. It was good to see.

"Yes, and it's getting up Candace Preston's nose which I'm all for. She's president of the PTA and she has two boys who play iron grid. Their grounds are still a mess." Jo said with a smile.

"See, my dislike of Candace is normal." Naz said to Mira and Sasha.

"If the boys want to play then they should pull their thumb out and get a lawn mower." Sasha said as she knew better than to start Naz on a rant about Candace and her plans to break the woman.

"It's not the same. According to Candace the lawn has to be mowed by a professional so it's evenly cut. Not that I would know why that's important. Grass is grass, and as long as it's short enough so you know you're not stepping on something bad. Then it's safe. But Candace is the authority on all things, so God forbid one of us knows more than her." Jo said with a roll of her eyes.

"I used play sports on the worst kinds of surfaces and I survived." Mira said.

"I went to private school. Our grounds were well kept and fairly perfect for whatever we were doing." Sasha said, Mira wore an evil grin and Sasha couldn't help but smile as she knew what was coming next.

"Only the best for those who can pay for it." Mira quipped.

"So true, but I do agree that if the boys want to play sports then they should make an effort. If I grew up in post pandemic world, I'd do whatever it took to play my sports." Sasha said.

"Well, it's Candace's problem as my daughter gets to play sports and learn self-defence. It makes her happy and thus I'm happy. I'm not sure how long it will last given it's based on the charity of others. But, it's good to have it back. Here." She said holding up the two demos for Naz to inspect.

"I love it, let me know how much and I'll put down a deposit today." Naz told her, Jo smiled.

* * *

"It was beautiful and she gave us a discount." Naz told Mike as he sat opposite her at the table in the bakery. They table had ten plates all with small slices of different kinds of cake. Sasha and Mira had been stuffing their faces with cake while Naz caught him up. He had seen the photo of Sasha's clone and the flowers. He oo-ed and ah-ed where appropriate.

"You all bought flowers." He said as there were three bouquets of flowers at the table with them.

"They are pretty and just eat the lemon cake as we're not having it." Naz told him in a matter of fact manner. He liked the way she smiled at him. He didn't really care about the cake they got but he was going to stir the pot for fun and eat cake.

"Ok, but it's zesty." Mike deadpanned before he ate some of the delicious cake out of spite.

"No. No lemon. Back me up." Mira said looking at Sasha.

"Yeah, no lemon." Sasha said behind her hand as she had a mouthful of cake.

"Ok, what about the sponge with Jam and cream?" Mike asked Naz.

"I love it." Naz said with a smile just for him. Sasha and Mira gave them unimpressed look.

"No, you can make that at home. Wedding cakes should be the cake you want but can't ever be able to replicate at home." Mira said, she was apparently the authority on what was a wedding cake and what wasn't.

"No to the fruit cake." Sasha said as she swallowed her bite but made a face. She picked up her glass of water and downed half of it to wash away the taste.

"Here, have some red velvet. It's bland enough to cleanse the palate." Naz said as she passed the plate over to Sasha.

"No hazelnut and mocha cream." Mira said pushing her plate back to the mix on the table. She wore an expression of disgust and shook her head.

"It's not that bad." Mike commented before he ate another bite of the sponge cake with jam and cream. It really was his favourite of the bunch.

"Licking ass isn't that bad, but it's not wedding cake material." Mira told Mike in a low voice. Mike nearly choked on his cake but managed to swallowed down the right pipe.

"Fair call." Mike said trying to keep a straight face.

"Why aren't you guys letting Darius' people make a cake?" Sasha asked as she ate another bite of the red velvet cake.

"He told us to get a cake and directed us here. We're getting a discount but if you keep equating everything to ass, that might change." Mike told Mira, as she was the one with the most vocal and descriptive opinions of the cake at the table. He was committing them to memory to use against Meylan later.

"A woman is allowed to have her opinion." Mira told him in a matter of fact tone.

"Of course," Mike said with a mocking smile.

"I like the red velvet." Sasha announced.

"It's just butter cake with food colouring." Mike commented, Sasha scowled at him as he ruined the magic of the cake.

"I think I like this butterscotch cake, it's nice." Naz said as she passed the plate to Mike to try.

"Lemon cake." Mike stated before he carved a bite of cake out with his fork and ate it.

"Why not get both?" Sasha asked them. Naz and Mike looked at one another. Mike gave a shrug as he didn't mind. Naz looked a little unsure.

"Yes, but not tiered together. Separate plates, opposite ends of the table." Mira clarified, the other chuckled as Mike shook her head at Sasha.

"Well, when you and Sasha get married. You can have it that way." Mike said mockingly to Mira. Naz snorted a laugh and shook her head at him. He looked to her with an amused expression. "Sponge cake?" he asked her.

"It's my favourite so far." Naz said.

"Mine too." He said.


	43. Chapter 43

A couple days later, Mike and Naz were having brunch with Darius and Andrea at Darius' restaurant. It was a sampler of their wedding dinner with some breakfast items.

"This is amazing spread." Naz told Darius, as they were all taking their share of what was on the table.

"Well, we went for a bit of mix. Think of it as a preview for your night. I have some Middle Eastern dishes and a few American dishes. I tried to meld the two and it was god-awful. Try the tea." Darius told her, he poured out tea for her. Naz picked up the cup and took in the scent of the tea.

"Oh, Chai…" Naz made a thoughtful expression, she took a sip and smiled at the familiar tastes of home and her childhood. "and is that rose I taste?" She asked him.

"Yes, it is." Darius said with a smile.

"This is so beautiful." Naz told him.

"I like to do my homework." Darius told her, still smiling as he enjoyed being praised.

"Gee, do you two want us to leave so you can enjoy your date?" Andrea asked them sarcastically, she and Mike clearly watching Darius and Naz have a foodie moment.

"Not after you broke our moment." Darius said mockingly as he leaned back in his chair. He slung an around the back of Andrea's chair and gave her a boyish smile.

"My apologies. I'm just pregnant with your child." Andrea told him sarcastically.

"I love you too." Darius told her, the two exchanged a quick kiss. Naz smiled at Mike who shook his head at the couple before he continued to eat.

"You know, I do appreciate this but I'm happy with whatever food we can get for the day. It doesn't have to be tied to my culture." Naz said, hoping to smooth over any faux pas on her side. She scooped a serving of shakshuka onto her plate.

"I don't mind. I like this egg dish but Naz's is better." Mike said, putting in his two cents on the food as he was digging into the food on his plate at a fast pace.

"What's wrong with mine?" Darius asked with a frown.

"Nothing, it's good." Naz assured Darius, but she couldn't help but feel a little happy at the compliment to her cooking skills. Especially given she was a novice in comparison to Darius' chef.

"It's bland." Mike remarked between bites.

"Mike." Naz chastised, he gave a nonchalant shrug, but there was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

"What? I'm being honest. The rest of the food looks good." Mike added, Andrea smiled behind her glass of water while Darius was looking like he was about to have apoplexy.

"Only good?" Darius asked Mike. Andrea laughed as Mike was stirring trouble.

"Trust me, 'good' in Mike's language means excellent but he doesn't want to overcompliment in case your ego becomes overgrown." Andrea told Darius.

"Or I mean it's just good." Mike said in a tongue and cheek manner. Darius glowered as he realised Mike was taking the piss out of him.

"You're a prick." Darius said in good humour, as the table laughed.

* * *

 

Sasha slowed to a stop as she need a water break. She took a sip of water and looked around. It was then her eyes hit a couple across the road in a café.

She'd spot him a mile away, there he was across the street sitting in a café with a redhead. A very beautiful redhead. It took her a moment to realise it was Jo from the flower shop. The two were laughing, it looked exactly like a date.

Nausea rolled over her as it was bad enough to be walked away from. To forever be placed second. She understood why she'd never come first, his reasons were valid but at the end of the day. She just wanted for once to be his first choice.

Here he was having a date with a woman who looked exactly like her. A woman who had none of the baggage but all the right looks. He couldn't have her, but Jo was there all happy and accessible with similar interests. Sasha's stomach churned and a lump in her throat formed as Tom had moved on yet again.  _So much for waiting…_  she thought bitterly.

She shook out her legs and blew out a breath. Tom had made his choices proving his words were insincere. Maybe, he had said it to buck her up, but now looking at him smiling at Jo in what looked like an intimate coffee date; the shine was gone. She was sick of feeling like the pathetic one in the equation.

She looked one last time at them and nodded her head as it was time to move on. She silently wished them the best and starting running again. With every step, her breathing eased and she let the tears run down her face. She made a vow to herself to just be on her own for a while and to keep Tom in the friends' zone. For right now, to also keep him at arm's length.

* * *

"I was a teenage girl, but I do not remember being so gullible." Jo said laughing as she and Tom had been sharing parenting war stories. Most of them from the past week.

"You weren't into boys, so you're dating pool at school was much smaller." Tom commented, Jo gave a half shrug. He found it a little unnerving how much she looked like Sasha. But all her ticks and how she spoke were completely different.

"True," Jo said with a smile. "This is fun." She added as she placed her half empty cup of coffee back onto the saucer.

"I agree. I'd forgotten what it was like." Tom said.

"To converse with normal people?" Jo joked.

"No, I know how to speak with normal people." Tom said defensively. He felt he'd made remarkable strides in being a better person.

"Uhuh, so, have you tried dipping your toes into the dating scene yet?" She asked him before she took a sip of her drink.

"Not yet." He lied, he didn't want to say he was distrustful of Jo. He just didn't want to give away too much information in case it screwed him over later.

"I'm sure you will not lack for options." Jo said with a grin. He normally would've thought she was flirting but he knew better as her tastes ran the same way as his.

"I'm still getting used to being back and getting everything sorted out. I got a lot on my plate." He lied as he was waiting for Sasha. He liked the safety of net of waiting for her. He didn't feel the need to date, he was patient. He knew what he wanted.

"There's no right time to start dating. Just don't look at me as I think you're as ugly as they come." Jo told him, he wasn't insulted as she might look like and sound like Sasha but she was the opposite of her. He was the opposite of Jo's ideal type. It made their friendship easy as he knew the lines would never be blurred.

"You know, I know a beautiful woman, 5ft 7-"

"Stop trying to set me up with your Lieutenant." Jo told him.

"She's not my lieutenant. But she could be yours." Tom teased, he liked the blush that reddened Jo's cheeks as she smiled at him.

"You going to throw in a set of free steak knives?" Jo asked with a laugh that was almost musical in nature.

"If I did, would you ask her out?" He asked rhetorically, Jo laughed and shook her head. "You know, I see the way you two look at one another." Tom said as he remembered seeing the two when he'd dropped Ashley off for soccer practise. He was still surprised his daughter wanted to play a sport. But he wasn't going to stop her as he was all for physical fitness.

"Just because we're both single does not mean we're meant to be." Jo told him.

"Why not find out? You like Karaoke. She has a great singing voice and no issues with opening a can of pickles." Tom said, not giving up on trying to matchmake them. Jo gave him a droll look.

* * *

"I'll get it." Naz said as the phone rang and Mike just opened the front door. She skated in and picked up the phone. "Hello?" she said.

_"Hey."_  Ashley said from the other end of the phone.

"Ashley, hey. What's going on?" Naz asked, Mike frowned as he wondered why Ashley would be calling them.

_"It happened_." Ashley told her.

"What 'it'?" Naz asked a little worried as she figured she was going to get charged as an accessory to some crime in Tom's eyes.

" _My period."_  Ashley whispered over the phone.

"Oh, congratulations. You're now learning what a pain in the backside it is. Any questions?" She asked casually, she mouthed 'period' at Mike as he was giving her a weird look. She tried a charades version of trying to tell him but all it did was make him laugh as she shooed him away.

" _What was that?"_  Ashley asked.

"Mike's watching 'A Few Good Men' on TV. He thinks it's a comedy but it's really a legal drama. You were saying?" Naz asked as she as she moved into the main bedroom and closed the door.

" _I got most of it figured out except I can't remember what you said about the pain, it's really bad_." Ashley said.

"Right," Naz said, she talked Ashley through what meds to take and how to take them. Most importantly when along with using the heat pad in the kit she and Sasha had set up for her. "Look, I know it's uncomfortable but it's for the best to talk to your Dad about it. Also make sure the meds are within used by date before taking them." She added.

" _Ok,"_  Ashley said reluctantly.

"It's not going to be a big deal. Your Dad is pretty cool about this stuff." Naz lied, she had no idea what Tom was like as a parent behind closed doors. But she felt it was important for Ashley to tell her father.

" _You talk to him about your period_?" Ashley asked her incredulously.

"No, but I've talked about my bowel movements with him which is way worse a subject to discuss with a man." Naz assured her, she wasn't going to tell Ashley it had been a joke she'd made to make Tom feel uncomfortable. "He might also know what kind of periods your Mum had which is helps you." Naz told her.

" _Why?"_  Ashley asked.

"We sometimes inherit our periods from our mothers. If she had painful periods then there's a chance you will, and if she had other issues that aren't part of a regular period that are also heredity. It's just good to know in advance." Naz said, she felt like she was messing up the conversation as she wanted Ashley to know her father was an untapped resource for her health.

" _But you said it's normal to feel pain."_  Ashley argued, Naz had to admit she felt backed into a corner.

"Yes, it's normal to a certain extent. But if you're in so much pain you can't do anything and makes you ill. Then you might need to see a doctor. But try the meds first and talk to your Dad. He'd want you to be comfortable and not suffer in silence." Naz said.

" _Ok, I can do that."_  Ashley said.

"Hey, just listen to your body's cues. Keep exercising, it's good for you to keep up your normal activities as much as possible. Make sure you swallow those tablets all the way down into your stomach with food. Never take them on an empty stomach, it'll just give you a gut ache." Naz told her.

" _Thanks Naz_." Ashley said as she brought the call to an end.

"Anytime, bye." Naz said, she hung up the phone. She frowned as she looked down at her hands; silently doing the math. It hit her, the realisation that she hadn't had her period in over three months. The door to the bedroom opened and Mike walked in. She quickly flexed her fingers to hide what she was counting.

"Everything ok?" Mike asked Naz.

"Yeah." Naz said.

"Arm ok? I noticed you flexing your fingers. Arm bothering you?" He asked, Naz shook her head as she was inwardly panicking.

"Totally fine." She assured him.

* * *

The next day,

"Wouldn't it be easier and more accurate to get a blood test at the doctor's office?" Sasha asked Naz through the closed bathroom door of her BOQ.

"I'd have to explain to Mike why I was going, a doctor's appointment cost more than a pregnancy test. How does this work?" Naz asked Sasha, she came out of the bathroom with pregnancy test in hand.

"Didn't you ever take a pregnancy test before with Elias?" Sasha asked her as they moved to the bed and sat on the edge.

"No, because I was on the pill and controlled my period. 3 months off, one month on. I also had to have a physical for work. They just automatically test for it with women which I find sexist." Naz remarked as she looked at the spot on the test stick that was supposed to indicate whether she was pregnant or not.

"Men can't get pregnant. I also figured you and Mike would use protection." Sasha commented.

"We do, but I checked the packet and it's expired. I'm not blaming anyone as these things happen and who looks at the expiry date on a packet of condoms?" Naz asked rhetorically as she looked down at the small square on the stick that was supposed to reveal the results.

"I would but I'm sure I'm just an exception to the norm." Sasha said dryly. Naz snorted a laugh before she frowned.

"What does an arrow mean?" Naz asked as the square started to show what looked like one quarter of a plus sign.

"An arrow?" Sasha asked, she looked over Naz's shoulder.

"It's turned into a 'T', look." Naz said holding out the stick to let her get a closer look. Sasha frowned as she had never seen such a result in her life. She picked up the box and double checked it was still within it's used by date. It was.

"The box doesn't say anything about a 'T' result." Sasha said.

"Do you think it's positive?" Naz asked with a frown as Sasha looked over the information pamphlet.

"I have no clue, the instructions say a plus sign means it's positive and a line means you're not." Sasha said.

"So, I'm half pregnant?" Naz asked with a frown.

"Did you pee on the stick correctly?" Sasha asked her, Naz shot her an incredulous look.

"It's not rocket science. Pee on the stick and wait 10 minutes." Naz told her dryly.

"You say that, but men miss the bowl all the time." Sasha pointed out.

"I'm a woman who was focussed on her task. This test got all the pee it needed." Naz assured her.

"Well, it looks like you'll have to go have a blood test." Sasha told her.

"But then I'll have to tell Mike. What if I was pregnant on my hen's night? I got drunk and I've been drinking since then. Not hardcore like the hen's party but we've shared a couple wines. My god, I'm already a terrible mother." Naz said looking traumatized by her own actions and the faulty test.

"It was only one night. An occasional glass of wine does not mean your baby will be a potato." Sasha assured her.

"If there is a baby." Naz said.

"Yes, if there is a baby which is why you should get the blood test and I think you should talk to Mike about it." Sasha told her.

"No way, he just packed up his kids' rooms. It was tough for him, but he's moving forward. If I brought this up, it could upset him and I don't want to do that unless I know I'm pregnant. It's hard to talk about it given the situation. I don't want to trap him into something he doesn't want." Naz said in a low voice.

"Well, you already know part of being in a serious relationship is having the hard talks." Sasha reminded her.

"But we are so good at avoiding them at the moment." Naz told her, Sasha couldn't help but chuckle.

"If it's positive talk to him, I honestly think he'd be really happy to have a kid with you." Sasha assured her, she couldn't see Mike walking away from Naz.

"I don't want him to be with me out of obligation. A kid is a huge obligation in comparison to my gaining citizenship." Naz told her.

"Well, we could always move west and get married. Raise the munchkin on our own." Sasha offered.

"Let's call that the back up plan." Naz said, they both chuckled.

"Works for me, Tom is dating my clone." Sasha told her.

"Jo the florist?" Naz asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I saw them a couple days ago on a coffee date. They looked like they were getting on like a house on fire." Sasha told her.

"Ouch." Naz said with empathy as she understood the issues at hand.

"He said he'd wait for me. I kind of expected him to celibate not sleep with someone who looks exactly like me." Sasha said bitterly.

"It's a little off putting." Naz agreed.

"I'm sure he'll be happier with her than me." Sasha said with a sigh.

"I thought you didn't want him." Naz said, as she could understand why Sasha would be upset but not why she'd hold onto it like she had.

"It's complicated." Sasha told her, "I want to be with him. But I know I'd have to give up so much of my life to make it work with him. I just don't see what the pay off would be for sacrificing over 15 years of hard work and sacrifices." She added, she rubbed her face; wishing she had a crystal ball that told her all the right moves to make.

"It's a lot to ask, but then you have to ask yourself if your job is really making you happy." Naz said.

"I love being in the field. I worked so hard to be where I am." Sasha told her.

"But long term, you know you can't be in the field forever." Naz argued, Sasha knew she was playing devil's advocate.

"Yeah." Sasha agreed as she knew she had to decide what she really wanted for her future and how she was going to get it.

"I get that you've sacrificed a lot to get where you are. But you've also accomplished a lot to be proud of. So what about what you want for yourself outside of the Navy and your career?" Naz asked her.

"I don't know." Sasha said honestly, she had goals but they were so flimsy and just out of reach as they depended heavily on a lot of things coming together. Things she couldn't force into working her way either.

* * *

A couple nights later,

"So, this is a Navy ball?" Naz said as she and Sasha were standing at the bar which was left alone for most part as the room was networking. Waiters walked around the room with finger food and drinks which saved anyone from having to venture to the bar.

"No, this is a formal function for something I can't remember." Sasha said, not that it made a difference as they were dressed to the nines in a ballroom.

Both in rental dresses which was why they went for dark colours. Naz wore a burgundy floor length dress with thigh high slit and high neck bodice and cap sleeves. Her long hair up in a messy chignon. Sasha opted for a floor length black dress with half sleeves, a key hole front. It had a black diamante belt and cute cut outs at the sides. She curled and pushed her hair to one side.

"Are you drunk?" Naz asked, Sasha was stirring her martini with three olives.

"A little." She said before she at an olive off the stick. She looked into the crowd straight at Tom, she wanted to smash her fist into his perfect face. Then kiss him until he forgot Jo, the lovely normal florist.

The party was a real dud as she couldn't see any value in speaking to the people in the room bar Naz. But then she wasn't in the mood either as she was waiting for the results of the blood test to see if she was pregnant. Sasha didn't envy her, at least in the waiting but when it came to her life. Sasha was envious, she knew Mike and Naz had issues but they were happy and making their lives work.

While Sasha was single and struggling to figure out what she wanted. She had spent so long with set goals and then a pandemic threw it all to the wind. She didn't know what she wanted or what to do besides keep working. It wasn't enough.

"Should I be worried about getting you a vomit bag?" Naz asked in amusment as she sipped her water.

"No, I'm good." Sasha assured her.

"So why the long face?" Naz asked.

"It's nothing." Sasha said, Naz gave her a look. Sasha sighed, "I'm still annoyed about Jo. He's going for her who is basically me with curly red hair and more rainbows and sunshine coming out of her ass." Sasha said bitterly.

"He's a dick." Naz said.

"Right." Sasha said in agreement, glad she was vindicated in her anger. "I should date other people." She added.

"If you want to, go ahead." Naz told her.

"Maybe after I've settled into my new apartment." Sasha remarked.

"Mike and I will help you." Naz said with a smile, but it soon fell. "But first, save me from-" she started but stopped as a smile plastered on her face. "Candace." She said with warmth that was ingenuine.

Sasha looked over Naz's nemesis and felt for Naz immediately. The woman had bitch written all over as she stood before them squeezed into some pink satin confection of a dress. Her hair was surprising well done but Sasha knew it would crunch under touch of a hand.

Her husband was the base commander. How he made it to being a Captain was beyond Sasha as the man had no backbone. At least not that she had found in the times they had crossed paths.

Candace gave them both a smile before zeroing in on Naz like she were the prized animal at the zoo.

"Charlie, this is the woman I was telling you about. She's engaged to Captain Slattery." Candace said in a low voice like it was a dirty secret. The Naval Captain who had escorted her over, gave Naz a warm closed lip smile.

"Pleasure to meet you. I'm Captain Charles Preston, Base Commander." He said, offering his hand. Naz shook it.

"Pleasure, this is Sasha Cooper." Naz said gesturing to Sasha.

"We've met." Sasha said with a nod, the man responded in kind. "Sir." She said in deference.

"I was telling my husband about your property. Well, Captain Slattery's property and how it's not really up to code." Candace said with dismay.

"It's in great shape, we even slapped some fresh paint on the front." Naz said to Captain Preston with a fake smile on her lips.

"Good to know." Captain Preston said, he looked as though he didn't give a shit either way.

"I also remember where I have seen you." Candace told Naz. A long pause drew out between the four of them as Candace waited for Naz to respond. What she didn't know was that Naz had been playing the game of being recognised all night.

"The photo exhibit." Captain Preston said, to save them all from the agonizing draw out that Candace wanted to make of it. "It's a rather telling exhibit, but I feel it's too on the nose." He offered.

"I agree, the photos were supposed to be collecting dust in an archive somewhere. Not turned into an exhibit for mass consumption." Naz said.

"I found it to be profound and heartbreaking especially about all those young children the immunes infected." Candace said, she pressed a hand to her chest and sighed. "Truly horrific, no child should be punished because they are not genetically gifted." She added.

Sasha looked at Naz who froze at the comment and grew pale. Even Captain Preston looked distinctly uncomfortable as his own wife spewed rhetoric only an immune would know.

"Genetically gifted or not. No child should suffer. One hopes that we move past it and future generations are kinder to one another." Mira said as she joined the group.

"Oh, hello Mira. You made it." Candace said making a face like she smelt something bad.

"Yes, I did. Can I just say, you did a much better job in organising tonight's event than the last one! It's just goes to show when you put in the time and effort, you can make something amazing." Mira told her with an expression of awe.

"I didn't organise tonight." Candace said, her face pinching in annoyance as she felt the barb of Mira's compliment.

"Oh, my bad." Mira said in shock. Candace narrowed her eyes at Mira before deciding it wasn't worth her time. Instead she prodded her husband.

"Honey, I think I see Secretary of the Navy. Let's go say 'Hello'." Candace said to her husband. The man just nodded and the couple walked away much to the relief of the women.

Mira hissed like a cat once Candace was out of sight. Sasha and Naz chuckled as they were pretty close to doing the same.

"That woman really grates on my nerves." Mira said after she exchanged a quick hello with Sasha and Naz.

"Same," Naz commiserated.

"I'm loving your dress." Sasha told Mira, the woman wore a one shoulder yellow chiffon floor length gown.

"Thanks, you ladies look amazing." Mira told them.

"Cheers." Naz said. Mira spied her glass of water and frowned.

"Water? Is everything ok? Are you pregnant?" Mira asked Naz who choked on her water.

"That's a leap." Naz wheezed, as she was still waiting for the results. She couldn't help but wonder how much alcohol she drank that people would raise their eyebrows when she refused it.

"Yet, you're Australian who is not enjoying the open bar." Mira said gesturing to said bar. "Only reason I can see you not drinking is if you're pregnant." Mira said with a smile, completely oblivious to the reality Naz was in.

"I'm supporting my husband to be by remaining sober and not embarrassing him." Naz said, her go to excuse.

"Not even one sip of champagne?" Mira asked as Meylan joined them and passed Mira a glass of champagne.

"Not one sip, as I'm going to behave. My hen's night got us into a little bit of trouble if you recall?" Naz prompted, Mira gave a wicked smile.

"We had a great time from what I remember." Mira said.

"I know I had a good time." Meylan said with a smile.

"Speaking of, who's that over there chatting with Mike and Tom?" Naz asked him gesturing over to where Mike and Tom were. "They've been going ga-ga over her. It's rubbing me the wrong way." She added.

The men were gushing over some woman in uniform who looked around their age. It didn't just rub her the wrong way, it downright made her see red. But reminded herself that she was engaged to Mike, not the other woman.

"I have no clue." Meylan said looking in the same direction.

"Commander Chris Kennedy, she's very impressive." Sasha said in a deflated manner as she was in the same boat as Naz. She was jealous but she had to remind herself that she had no right to Tom. He made it clear from dating Jo; her clone to flirting with the Commander that he was happily moving on without her.

"Really? That's her?" Meylan asked surprised.

"What?" Naz asked, wondering what she was missing out on. She felt her face pale as Sasha's tone implied something else was going on. Like maybe Mike had history with the woman. Maybe Chris Kennedy was supposed to marry Mike.

"Relax Naz, they are just fanboys of hers. She's a talented tactician and the boys along with Sasha here had a moment about the woman." Meylan said making a face as he and Mira wore concerned expressions given how Naz went from crestfallen to relieved in a snap.

"You just don't like being left on the outside of Tom and Mike's bromance." Sasha drawled mockingly.

"Yeah, I just want to be their third musketeer. But, it's ok because my maneuverers are more impressive than Kennedy's." He said smugly.

"I can attest his manoeuvres being very impressive." Mira said with a salacious smile as she was not referring to Naval ship maneuverers.

"So, what are you two doing over here when you can be over there?" Meylan asked, changing the topic.

"I needed a drink." Sasha said before she took a sip of her martini.

"I felt like I was intruding in some love affair over there and decided to take a step back." Naz said honestly, she felt really off about it too given she was becoming weirdly possessive of Mike.

"That too." Sasha said in agreement of the assessment.

"Also, everyone that Mike introduces me to want to tell me how they saw the exhibit and their heart just bleeds for my traumatic life." Naz added making a face as it wasn't a lot of fun.

"It's annoying, like we all didn't see and experience messed up shit." Sasha said before she downed the rest of her drink.

"Exactly, like get over it. I'm more than a bunch of photos on the wall of some stupid gallery." Naz said, Mira and Meylan nodded but wore worried expressions. It was like they weren't sure who they should be more worried for.

"You are more than your photos. Sadly, I'm going to head off." Sasha announced to the group.

"But we just got here." Mira said with a pout.

"I'm sorry but I'm just too tired for all of this." Sasha said waving a hand at the room.

"Ok, you need a ride home?" Meylan asked her, being a responsible friend in a very brotherly manner.

"I'm getting a taxi." Sasha assured him, he nodded taking her word that she was ok.

"Call or text me when you get home." Naz told Sasha.

"Will do." Sasha said, the two hugged. Sasha said her goodbyes to the Meylan's and stopped by Andrea's table to say she was leaving before leaving the banquet hall.

She made it out the front and breathed in the cool air and exhaled; grateful to be out of the party. After taking a moment before she hailed a cab and instead of going home; she asked to be taken to the closest café.

* * *

"You said you were going to the ladies over half an hour ago." Mike said to Naz as they danced a slow waltz. He'd found her a few minutes ago hiding in the proverbial corner with Mira.

Luckily, the band started to play giving him an excuse to get away from talking to his bosses and dance with the most beautiful woman in the room. She was looking breathtaking tonight.

"I didn't want to interrupt whatever you had with Commander Kennedy." She said.

"Are you jealous?" Mike asked in amusement.

"No," She said, she made a cute, "Maybe." She admitted, feeling very awkward over her possessiveness of him. He found it kind of hot to have her be a little territorial over him. She didn't make a scene, so it was like a dirty enjoyable secret between them.

"She's just woman with a –"

"Brilliant mind and exceptional tactician skills?" Naz asked him, Mike grinned as someone had filled her in on the details.

"Yes." Mike said, he wasn't going to start lying to her now.

"It's ok. I'm ok, everyone has a hero. I just wish she were a little uglier and more troll like." Naz said with adorably awkward smile as she was jealous. Mike got it, he understood how many spouses felt like they were on the outside when it came to the Navy. Sometimes, there was no way to really bridge the gap.

"She hasn't got anything on you." Mike assured her, he pulled her just a little closer to his frame and they danced to the music.

"Smooth." Naz said, a light blush gracing her cheeks.

"And I know it hasn't been a fun night for you and I appreciate you hanging in there for me." He told her honestly.

"It's ok, we support one another even if it means suffering just a little." She told him with a tight smile.

"We do." Mike agreed. "If it helps, I suffer at these parties myself. You either talking outta your own ass or brown nosing. Two things, I don't like doing." He told her in a low voice.

"I like that you don't do that." Naz said.

"So, how about this? Suffer through another twenty minutes here with me and I'll make it up to you when we get home." He offered.

"Foot rub after a long hot shower?" She asked him.

"Deal." He said.


	44. Chapter 44

Sasha walks into the only café in Norfolk that was open 24/7. She couldn't recall the name as she was a little more drunk than she had assessed herself to be. She looked at the menu board, she didn't care that she was overdressed, or how much it cost; she was getting a burger and a milkshake.

"Sasha, over here." A familiar voice called out, Sasha turned to see Ashley waving at her. She sat at a booth with Sammy, another girl and Jo.

Sasha's stomach bottomed out as this was just shit luck and she was trapped. She walked over to the table plastering on a smile. Of all the places to end up drunk and in search of a burger, she had to end up here with her perfect clone and Tom's kids.

"Hey everyone." She said awkwardly. Jo smiled while the kids looked between the two of them.

"Whoa, you're like twins or something." Ashley's friend said in awe.

"Sasha, it's good to see you." Jo said with a smile. "You look beautiful." She added.

"Thank you." Sasha replied, as it felt weirdly like she was being complimented by herself.

"You know one another? Is she family? Are we related?" the girl asked, Jo laughed and shook her head.

"Mel, breathe. No, we're just doppelgangers. One in a trillion." Jo told her.

"Well, one in 15 million." Sasha corrected.

"You even sound the same but not." Mel said with a curious frown.

"Have a seat with us. We're having ice cream." Jo offered.

"Sure." Sasha said as she couldn't think of an excuse to leave. Perversely she just wanted to know what Jo had that she didn't. She moved into the booth and got comfortable.

"Sasha. My daughter Melody, though she prefers Mel. You know Tom's kids, I presume?" Jo asked her. Sasha nodded.

"Seriously, are you clones like Orphan Black?" Mel asked her mother.

"I let her watch TV too often." Jo quipped to Sasha.

"Just doppelgangers from the looks of it. It is eerie." Sasha said looking at Jo. It was like a mirror image except Jo had red curly hair and freckles. Though Sasha's hair was curly, they could pass for twins or sisters.

"We should hang and freak people out more often." Jo told her wryly.

"Naz would love that. She's so weird." Ashley said, Sammy who'd been paying attention went back to his game boy and started playing it again.

"Naz is your Uncle Mike's fiancé. She's on the sides of buildings for that photo exhibit?" Mel asked Ashley nodded, Ashley nodded. Mel turned to look at Sasha. "Do you really know her?" She asked Sasha like a true fan.

"Yes, I do." Sasha said.

"We saw the exhibit and well, Mel is a bit of a fan when it comes to soccer and the macabre. I personally hope the two never mix." Jo said giving Mel a pointed look. Sasha couldn't help but laugh.

"I hope so too." Sasha said, a waiter came over and handed her a menu. She looked it over for half a second before ordered a burger with fries and strawberry milkshake.

"So, what brings you to the diner tonight? Bad date?" Jo asked Sasha, given the order which was considered exorbitant meal nowadays.

"Terrible work function." Sasha said, she thanked the waiter as he returned and placed a glass water and cutlery on the table for her.

"Dad is at that tonight which is why we're here." Ashley said, explaining why she and Sammy were out.

"We get a better deal." Jo said as the waiter came back and placed down four bowls of ice cream on the table. Everyone bar Sasha took a bowl and started eating. "You want some ice cream?" she offered, Sasha shook her head.

Sasha realised what Tom saw in her. Jo was all smiles, motherly and happy. She was light, Sasha was angst ridden darkness. He definitely made a better choice especially for the kids as well as himself. She should do the right thing and just bail entirely out of his sphere.

"Sasha?" Jo asked, Sasha snapped out of her thoughts.

"Yes?" She asked, she wondered how long she had spaced out as everyone at the table wore worried expression.

"You ok?" Ashley asked her.

"Yes, I just had a bad evening." Sasha assured her. She gave her a tight smile. "Once I eat my burger, I'll feel like a million bucks." Sasha added, at least she hoped so as sitting next to Tom's girlfriend was not her idea of fun. She wondered if she was a masochist.

"The burgers here are the best. Mom and Mom used to eat here for their date night." Mel said before she ate another spoonful of her ice cream.

"Mom and Mom?" Sasha asked still drunk and now a little confused.

"I have two Moms, well, I had two. They are lesbians." Mel said, Sasha blinked as it took her alcohol logged brain a moment to digest the information.

"Mel, we talked about this. You don't announce people's sexual orientation out in public or over the dinner table." Jo chastised.

"Sorry, Mom." Mel said with a chagrin.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Sasha said to Jo. She tried to hide her relief in knowing Tom wasn't hooking up with Jo.

"Thank you, it hasn't been easy." Jo said with a sad smile.

"I keep telling Mom that she should start dating. In 5 years, I'll be an adult and out of the house. I don't want her to be alone." Mel said in a matter of fact manner.

"Sounds like you have someone in mind." Sasha said, she really hoped it wasn't her as she knew she wasn't enough of a narcist to date her doppelganger. She also preferred her sexual partners to be male.

"Mel wants me to ask out Lt Granderson. Her soccer coach and it's not happening." Jo said to Sasha.

"Why not? you like each other, she likes girls too and if you dated then I'd get extra practise sessions as Lt Granderson would want me to bond with me. It's win-win." Mel explained with a smug smile.

"If only life were so charmingly simple." Jo told her daughter in a light and amused tone.

* * *

"I'm so exhausted." Naz said to Mike as she hung her purse on the coat rack and kicked off her heels at the door.

"Same, you go on ahead. I'll make sure we're all locked up and the lights are off." Mike said, Naz nodded sleepily as she went straight to their bedroom.

Mike pulled off his overcoat and placed it on the coat rack. But in his fatigue he missed the rack and it fell to the floor. He sighed as he picked it off the floor and got it on a hook. But as he took a step away, his foot got caught in the strap of Naz's everyday purse. He cursed as he tripped and nearly face planted into the floor. In his trip, the contents of the purse scattered across the floor.

"Everything ok?" Naz called out.

"All good." Mike assured her. He mindlessly picked up the contents and placed them back into her purse. He stopped as his brain turned on to the item in his hand. He looked down at his hand and found a pregnancy test in his hand. Face down. His heart pounded in slight panic, he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer. But he also couldn't resist. He turned it over and saw the plus sign.

Unexpectedly, a smile spread across his face as warmth spread through his chest. He placed it back inside Naz's purse. He knew why she was keeping it a secret. She didn't want to hurt him if the pregnancy didn't eventuate. It was too early. He tried to do the math and knew she could only be around 5 to 6 weeks along. But he immediately loved the idea of a baby, a child that was theirs.

He knew he should feel sadness for the children he had lost. But he just felt the joy of new life. Well, the possibility of new life. He also loved the fact that if he and Naz had a child, it meant they were intrinsically linked forever. He would be her husband and the father to their child. He would be a father again.

He wanted to jump in joy and start nesting for the newborn but he tamped down on the paternal urges. He had to play it cool and wait until Naz was ready to tell him. She was keeping it secret for a reason. He could only think that she didn't want to get his hopes up if she miscarried in the first trimester. It was smart as he knew it would be devastating but he couldn't help but he hopeful.

He placed the purse back in it's annoying position on the floor. He kicked off his shoes and headed to their bedroom. He stepped in and closed the door. He smiled as Naz was in the shower. He stripped out of his uniform and headed into the bathroom to join her.

* * *

A couple days later,

"I'm not sure whether I'm happy that we got these decorations up before the snow came in or annoyed that it's going to be a pain to store them all for next year." Mike said.

"We have a garage. Some shifting of boxes and it'll just slide in." Naz said dismissively as they stood back and marvelled at their handiwork.

"But this is all we're going to do to stick it to you know who. I want this thing you got for her to stop. Got it?" Mike asked, he really wanted to find ways to remove as much stress from her life as possible. He was dead set that he didn't want Naz to stress herself into a miscarriage because of Candace Preston and her poking around their business.

"Yes, considered it dropped." Naz said, she wasn't going to tell him that it was stressing her out to even think about Candace and her sticking her nose in their business. But if anything, this was Naz and Mike's time to put her in her place and move on. "From here on out, resting and studying for my interview. I have to say that your history is pretty interesting." Naz told him.

"I'm glad you're enjoying it." Mike said, he felt a zing of appreciation and joy at her finding a love for his country. She had a beautiful brain as she retained pretty much everything she read. She still got some questions wrong but she always made an effort to get it right the next time he asked.

"Here we go." Naz said as she nudged his side. Mike surreptitiously looked over to his left, over Naz's head to see Candace powerwalk towards them.

Her jaw dropped as she saw the house and her paced slowed down. Mike wrapped an arm around Naz's shoulder and kissed her temple before he like Naz went to admiring their house.

"What is all of this?" Candace asked when she reached them. No niceties or polite conversation. Mike could tell the woman was livid even if she hid it fairly well under her veneer of plastic smiles, fake tan and perfect hair.

"It's Christmas decorations. I know it's not much but we tried to make an effort" Naz deadpanned as their house was not a failed attempt of decorating. It was a beast of an effort that took majority of two days to happen.

"It's too early." Candace said, her eyes glued on the house. It was decked out in twinkle lights and Christmas decorations. Just like Halloween's venture, Christmas had thrown up on the Slattery home but also spread across the yard.

Thanks to a dark and overcast day, the lights were able to glow just enough to know that in full darkness one could use their house as beacon. They had a light up Christmas figures all over; snowmen, Santa, reindeers. They had a large pole in the front year showing directions of how far to the North Pole and a few other places.

On the front door was a large plastic vintage Santa head with a faux poinsettia wreath and bows. There were ribbon decorations and baubles everywhere. The whole house was hideously overdone and gaudy.

"Not for the shops, if retail world says it's time to decorate. I say we decorate. I can't wait for the snow as it will give it that real American Christmas look." Naz said joyfully.

"The kids are loving it." Mike said as they had a few families stop in their way home to check it out.

"That's not Eggnog on the house." Candace pointed out.

"No, it was not working for our aesthetic." Naz explained to her, Candace frowned as she didn't understand.

"I also asked housing they said we could paint the house any colour we wanted out of five available swatches. We choose one." Mike said with a shrug, he and Naz shared a smile. He'd say they were playing happy couples but frankly, they were a happy couple.

"But, it's so drab and unfriendly." Candace said, she was struggling with them not following her orders. But then Mike had learned from Tom that the woman was far too used to getting her way. But not today.

"I told you it suited my personality." Mike said in a glib manner to Naz.

"I think the house looks great." Naz said.

"It's a little over the top, especially this early in the year." Candace told her.

"But it's my first Christmas in years and it's Mike's first Christmas with me. So, it was go big or not at all. That's what they do in the Christmas movies." Naz told her, she looked back at Mike. "I am thinking Christmas carols piping out of the stereo 6am to 10pm seven days a week will be just a dream and really pull the whole street into the Christmas spirit." Naz suggested to Mike, in faux excitement. He pretended to give it thought before he nodded in agreement.

"It's against the regulations." Candace told them.

"Surprisingly, it's not and I have you to thank as you really inspired me to get into the spirit of supporting the Sailors and their families. Part of that being the beautification and celebration of life." Naz told her.

"This isn't what I meant when I said that." Candace told her with a pained smile.

"But your to-do list was so helpful in giving me that push to know my rights and the regulations I have to adhere to as the spouse of a Naval officer. I want to be best wife for my man." Naz said as she wrapped her arm around Mike's. She leaned into him, she couldn't help but relish the tightness in Candace's pinched expression.

"But you've let a lot of things unfinished from the list." Candace said in annoyance.

"That's on me. I don't take 'Honey do' lists from other women. It's also my property, I'll do with it what I want." Mike told her bluntly.

"But-" Candace started but Mike cut her off.

"I know, you have grand plans but I spoke with your husband about the list and your 'beautification' project. He said I could disregard the list as long I was in compliance with the housing department's requirements which we are." Mike told her.

"If you have a problem with me-" Candace started but Mike cut her off.

"I don't, if I did; you'd know about it by now." Mike said with a smarmy smile, "Now, if you'll excuse us. We have dinner reservations." Mike lied as they had no dinner reservations but he wanted to leave while they had the upper hand.

"Yes, and I'm so happy that you love the decorations." Naz told Candace.

"I don't-" Candace started but Naz cut her off.

"Bye, see you around." Naz said, she and Mike walked up to their house. Once they closed the front door behind them. Naz looked through the peep hole. She grinned as Candace stood on the front pathway looking a little stumped, but soon took off like her ass was on fire.

"Oh, did you see the way that vein popping in her skull." Naz said with glee to Mike.

"Yes, now can we focus on other things than Candace." Mike told her.

"Yes, definitely. I think you should let me thank you properly in bed." Naz told him, she gently pulled on the front of his jumper, a salacious smile on her lips.

"If you have to." Mike said in a tone like it was a chore. Naz smiled as she grabbed him by the hand and pulled him to their room.

* * *

The following weekend,

"Thanks for helping out." Sasha said as Mike and Naz along with the burk brothers and Miller had spent the better part of the morning helping her move into her new place. Frankie and Halsey while adorable were getting in way but Sasha had promised to babysit the two so Kara and Danny could have a daytime date.

"You said free food which is now the new version of free beer." Naz said as she pushed the cushions into the couch. The cushions were barely in place by Cameron and Carlton before Frankie climbed on top. Halsey wasn't far behind but due to his training sat dutifully on the floor by the couch instead of jumping on the couch beside the boy.

"I do appreciate the help even if you are here only for the free food." Sasha said with a smile. It took a while but she had managed to find an apartment within ten minute drive of the base. The lease was signed and she paid six months upfront.

It was in an old industrial building that had been converted into home dwellings. She had managed to score a large one bedroom apartment for a good price, and after some basic shopping and furniture purchases; it was looking like home.

"What? No, I said I'd help you. Mike and these bludgers are here for the free food." Naz half joked, Sasha laughed.

"Oreo?" Frankie asked, the women tried not laugh as the kid was single minded when it came to snack time.

"Not yet, but soon. So, why don't you test out the couch by laying there and sleeping." Naz told him, Frankie made a face and shook his head as he slid off the couch and toddled across the room to his backpack. Naz threw up her hands. "I don't get him." She said to Sasha.

"No one gets toddler, they just do what they want until they fall over like drunk people." Sasha said with a smile as Frankie pulled out a pack of colour pencils and shook them all over the floor. Luckily, Carlton was on it; picking up the pencils. Within a few moments, he had Frankie colouring in the receipt for the lounge.

Cameron sat on the lounge in a heap. Sasha felt for the man as he was struggling between his prothesis and crutches. But he pushed on and while he wasn't entirely helpful in moving furniture; he was good with Frankie as he slid onto the floor beside the boy and started to help him draw on the paper.

"Ok, I'm going into the kitchen to get started on lunch." Carlton told her.

"Make yourself at home." Sasha said as she was glad she had the smarts to enlist help as she hadn't had to do much except direct traffic. She was fully capable of moving herself but she liked being surrounded by friends she considered family.

She and Naz moved to the bedroom to find Mike and Miller putting in the bed slats. It wasn't much of a frame, just a lightweight stainless steel frame. But it looked good in the room, she liked that if she had to move again; it wouldn't be a pain in the ass.

"Nearly done, once the mattress is on. It's all on you." Mike told Sasha, as he took one of the slats from Miller and pressed in into frame.

"Why can't you make my bed?" Sasha asked him.

"Cause you're old and ugly enough to do it yourself." Mike joked.

"Can you believe what your future husband said to me?" Sasha asked Naz incredulously. Naz made a 'oh honey' face of mocking sympathy.

"Well, your hair could use a brush." Naz said, Sasha slapped her hand away in amusement.

"Whose side are you on?" Sasha asked her.

"No one's side. I'm a fence sitter." Naz explained with an unrepentant grin.

"Unbelievable." Sasha said with a chuckle. She knew better than to ask Miller to back her up as he liked his career and he knew better than to argue with Mike; his boss.

"I'm sure if you called Tom, he'd help you make your bed." Mike offered, Miller kept his head down and kept on putting the slats in; pretending he was not there. Sasha wished she could do the same. Sure, there was relief in knowing Tom was not dating Jo her clone but it didn't stop her from doubting him. She didn't want to think about it or him given it just brought her angst and stress.

"Of course, you'd take his side." Sasha said jokingly to lighten her mood.

"I'm a fence sitter, giving out helpful hints and tips. What you do with them is your business." Mike corrected with a grin before he helped Miller pop in the last slat. "Good job, Miller. Let's get the mattress on the frame." He said to the young man.

"I'm going to go help Little Burk in the kitchen." Naz said.

"I'm not little!" Carlton complained from the other room.

"You are next to me Bro." Cameron argued smugly, Sasha laughed as she found the first flaw of her new apartment. Thin walls.

* * *

A few days later,

"What are you buying at Baby Barn?" Tom asked Mike as he spotted the large bag in Mike's car boot as Mike pulled out his gym bag. He couldn't think of why Mike would go there.

"A baby sized barn." Mike quipped as he closed the boot to his car.

"Is someone having a baby?" Tom asked as he wondered how he missed the announcement.

"Yes." Mike said.

"Who?" Tom asked with a frown as he was trying to figure it out and all he could think was that it was Kara. But he couldn't imagine him missing out on the announcement given he saw Lt Granderson nearly every week. She liked to organise large group presents. He remembered chipping in money for Kara's baby shower present. He couldn't see Alisha being so remiss if Kara was having a second baby.

"Who do you think?" Mike asked.

"Naz?" Tom asked completely unsure if he really wanted to know the answer but he knew it wasn't Sasha. Well, he hoped it wasn't Sasha.

"What's with that face?" Mike asked him.

"I made no face." Tom said throwing his hands up in surrender as he really hadn't meant to be critical but he did worry for Mike. His life seemed to running at light speed of late.

"Yes, you did and it's the same face you make when you think something is a terrible idea." Mike told him, he wore a disappointed frown. Tom felt bad for not being more supportive and knew now was the time to change that before he made another faux pas.

"Is not and is Naz pregnant?" Tom asked.

"Maybe, I don't know." Mike said with a shrug.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Tom asked, utterly confused on how he was supposed to act.

"She hasn't told me and I haven't really checked my calendar but I found a pregnancy test in her purse. It was positive, though they can give false positives." Mike said.

"Found? It sounds like you were snooping." Tom speculated, he couldn't stop the wry smile that spread across his lips.

"She leaves her purse on the floor and I tripped over it all the time. The contents scatter." Mike said bashfully, he was not going to explain his other tests he put Naz through; surreptitiously of course. He read books and he knew enough about Naz's body to know she hadn't had one period around him, she was showing other signs.

Not that he'd share that with Tom. He also made a point of 'accidentally' tripping over Naz's purse to see what else she was hiding. So far, she had kept the pregnancy test stick and there was a letter from Rios' office a couple days ago. He hadn't had the chance to steam it open but he had held up to a light to know it said the pregnancy test was positive.

"The contents scattered?" Tom asked sceptically.

"Is there an echo?" Mike asked incredulously as he didn't like how nosy Tom was being.

"So, she hasn't told you and you're already buying stuff based off of a stick that could be wrong?" Tom asked him, he felt like laughing at the ridiculousness of what was happening.

"I couldn't help it. I saw the results. I had a meeting and Baby Barn was on the way." Mike offered with a shrug.

"Baby barn is 20 minutes away off the base. It's not on the way to anything." Tom said not able to hold in a laugh.

"I wanted to see what the prices were like and what are you doing there?" Mike asked in a defensive manner.

"They are the only place close by that have sudocrem. It's the only thing that helps Sammy with his eczema. So, has she told you?" Tom asked.

"Not yet, but I know she will." Mike said confidently.

"I figured you'd be upset." Tom said honestly, he couldn't imagine losing Ashley or Sammy. To have a new child come in was a joyous affair but he also wondered if it was bittersweet as it would remind Mike of what he lost.

"I can understand about her wanting to wait and keep it a secret. To be sure, the pregnancy is on the right track." Mike said, he winced as he thought of his other children. He knew it would hurt to lose another child but he wanted to be hopeful. "But I know everything will be ok and it's my kid, so don't go all Bold and Beautiful on me." Mike added.

"I'm not even sure what that means. But after Naz telling me about you and your glorious junk, I can't see her cheating." Tom assured Mike, he frowned as he still couldn't look at Mike without feeling just a little uncomfortable.

"Yes, it must be tough for you to be friends with this perfection." Mike quipped as gestured to himself.

"Yes, it is." Tom deadpanned. "So, what did you buy?" he asked, he was curious given it wasn't a small bag.

"Nothing much." Mike offered, Tom grinned as Mike was trying hard to downplay it. "Just a pair of tiny sneaker booties, a couple onesies and socks." Mike said with a shrug. Tom couldn't help but laugh as he knew there was more than Mike was claiming. It was hysterical to see a big guy like Mike have such a soft side and be so shy about it.

"What?" Mike asked defensively.

"Just didn't ever think you'd be the guy who gets broody in the relationship and want to nest as soon as the test is positive." Tom said.

"I like to be prepared." Mike told him.

"I didn't know you two were planning on having a baby." Tom said frankly.

"Well, we weren't but the condoms we used were expired. I checked the next day as I thought they were fine." Mike said.

"Seriously?" Tom asked, surprised by the admission.

"Yes and I was wrong. But we're good and she's happy. I'm happy because I love babies and kids. I didn't think I'd get to be a Dad again, but the more I think about it, it just feels really good." Mike said, Tom could see the contentment in Mike's expression. Something he was a little envious of. He grew up in a family of three kids and always wanted the same number of kids himself but he and Darien had a lot of trouble conceiving, complicated pregnancies that they felt blessed to leave their number at two.

"So, you're both happy and not discussing it with one another." Tom said.

"Don't judge us, what we do works. Just check your own stash. Honestly, who looks at the used by date on condoms?" Mike asked rhetorically.

"Not you." Tom said in jest before he laughed again and ducked the hand that Mike tried to cuff the back of his head with. Mike smiled and shook his head at Tom.

"Don't let the cat out of the bag." Mike warned him.

"Naz scares me more than you." Tom informed him in a teasing manner. "But I promise, not to say a word." Tom assured him.

* * *

"Say something." Naz said to Kara and Sasha as the two looked completely dumbfounded. Naz had shown them the blood test result that said she was pregnant somewhere between 8-12 weeks and an ultrasound picture. Doc Rios assured her that she was in good health and baby was developing well. She felt like the image looked like an alien. Frankly, the only relief Naz had, was that she was pretty sure the baby was conceived on the Hen's night or the morning after as it seemed to line up. So, she felt better for not damaging the baby unwittingly with her Hen's night alcoholic consumption.

Now she was trying to figure out how to tell Mike which was not going well, as Kara took a sip of her tea while Sasha frowned.

"I think you're overthinking it." Kara offered, the women had already congratulated Naz and they bought a slice of decadent chocolate cake to celebrate. But now was the hard part of how Naz told Mike. Naz just couldn't find a way, she had tried to broach the subject of kids with Mike, but she froze every time as she didn't want to hurt him.

"Same, just make sure he's sitting down and hand him the blood test results. It's a little more sanitary than the other test which you should really put in the bin." Sasha told her.

"It's in a zip lock bag. I can't seem to let go of it." Naz admitted, she made a face as she was growing attached to all the evidence of her pregnancy.

"Well, my pregnancy was outed very publicly by Dr Scott given everyone figured Frankie and I would die from the human trial of the vaccine. Captain Chandler told Danny." Kara said, as she had no real experience in the area.

"That's not going to happen here." Sasha told Naz as she could see the woman's brain trying to work out how she could get someone else to spill the beans.

"Well, I don't want to die but what am I supposed to say?" Naz asked.

"Mike, I'm pregnant and I booked an ultrasound appointment in two weeks' time. Why? You ask, well Rios just wants to keep a close eye on the pregnancy to make sure things are going well." Sasha said.

"See, I could try that, but I can't get the words out as it kind of opens a door to other things we don't want to delve into." Naz said, it was the crux of the situation. She was afraid of Mike not being on board, of how it would affect their relationship and the fact it meant one of the kids' old rooms would be the new baby's room. That was a large can worms that Naz didn't want to open as she could see how badly it could all go.

"If I was pregnant again, which I'm not." Kara clarified before the women could get ideas. "I would give Danny a pair of baby booties or a onesie. Let him put it together." She told them.

"So, you'd just leave him hanging for days in knots trying to figure it out? That's cruel." Sasha joked.

"Why do you always tease him? He's very smart." Kara assured Sasha, Naz grinned as Sasha smiled unrepentant in her teasing of Green. But then Vulture team had a sibling dynamic.

"I'm just keeping him humble." Sasha assured her.

"You're terrible." Kara told her, she gave a sigh which signalled she wasn't going to take any bait Sasha threw out, "And we're getting off point. I say, you just tell the Captain. Let the chips fall where they may." Kara said.

"Yes, just rip off the band aid and tell him. If he gets upset then give him a few days to process and if you can't handle being in the house you can stay at my place." Sasha told her.

"I think I should give it another couple weeks. I don't even feel pregnant. What?" she asked as she saw the looks Sasha and Kara exchanged.

"You're looking great." Kara assured her.

"Your boobs are bigger, you need a new bra and you have pretty weird mood swings. He's going to put two and two together, if he hasn't already." Sasha told her bluntly.

"My moods are not weird." Naz said defensively.

"You looked ready to kill Commander Kennedy just cause Mike was a goofball around her." Sasha reminded her.

"You were tearing up while eating the cake." Kara pointed out.

"It's really good cake." Naz said defensively, but even so she felt her eyes begin to tear up. As the cake was beautiful and they were celebrating.

"You're tearing up right now at the memory of the cake!" Sasha pointed out with a chuckle.

"It was really good cake and Ok! I get it. Fine, I'm moody. I don't like being emotional." Naz said with a pout. She sat back and folded her arms across her chest. Kara and Sasha wore amused expressions.

"So, no babies on the horizon for you and Danny?" Sasha asked Kara.

"No, Danny and I are in a good place. Frankie is happy. I think if we have more kids, we'll wait until Frankie's a little older and fully toilet trained." Kara said with a grin.

"Have you decided what you're going to do career wise?" Naz asked out of curiosity. She knew Kara was working with Sasha. While she avoided prying into the nature of the work she was curious about Kara's take.

"I want out of ONI. It's not for me." Kara said. She looked to Sasha, "Sorry." She said apologetically.

"Don't be, it's completely fine. You have done a lot great work. It'll look great on the resume." Sasha told her.

"It's why I'm sticking it out for the moment. But, I prefer serving on a military vessel. I've kind of dropped hints to Danny about me possibly deploying." Kara said.

"And?" Naz asked.

"Ah, not entirely well received but it's too soon to be really getting into it given there are no vessels to be posted on yet." Kara reminded them.

"How about you?" Naz asked Sasha.

"I'm weighing my options. Though it looks like things are heating up and I might be disappearing for a while." Sasha said.

"Wow, ok." Naz surprised but also not ready for Sasha to exit out of her life on some secret mission as they spent a lot of time together when Naz wasn't with Mike.

"I'm not gone yet. But field assignments are in the works. I want one. Home is here but I'm not ready to give up that part of my job just yet." Sasha said.

"Do you feel you'd have to?" Kara asked her.

"It's different to serving on a military vessel. You have a certain level of honesty in your work. My husband didn't mind me disappearing because he had such a large life that took up a lot of his attention. It would've changed if we had had kids. We had plans and goals that we wanted to reach first. I haven't reached my goals just yet. But when I do, the next step is coming back and settling down." Sasha said.

"With a man?" Naz asked.

"Or by myself, I can be a single mother. I have been thinking about kids. I want them and I know I could be an analyst here in Norfolk." Sasha admitted, she had given a lot of thought. She hadn't set anything in stone but she knew she could live the rest of life unmarried but to give up on being a mother. It was something she knew she'd regret not doing as it had always been a wish of hers.

"Or you can put Captain Chandler out of misery. Everybody knows that he's waiting for you." Kara said with a grin.

"He does come with a pre-made family." Naz offered, Sasha gave a wry smile as she knew Naz was fence sitting that came with her neither being fully supportive or negative of Tom. Sasha found it equally annoying as she did helpful.

"I just don't know." Sasha said honestly. "I'll worry about it when I'm ready to settle down." She added before the women could needle her about it.

* * *

"What's this?" Mike asked as he walked into the home and smelt the delicious aroma of real food being cooked. Naz had a gift of throwing the most random of food items together and making something that not only smelt delicious but tasted amazing. Though he was sure that part of his elation at real food was that it was much more enjoyable than the Soylent.

"Dinner. I felt like some real food tonight." She said before they exchanged a quick kiss 'hello'.

"Smells good." He said as he wrapped an arm around her middle and looked over her shoulder at the dish that was bubbling away in the frypan.

"Hopefully it will taste good. How was rock climbing?" She asked him.

"Good. What about your morning?" he asked, before a pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. She gave a relaxed sigh as she leaned back into him.

"I think we should talk." Naz said as she turned off the stove top and turned to face him.

"Sure, what about?" He asked as he held onto her. His heart was fluttering as this had to be the moment. She gave a exhale as she looked like she was struggling. He was anxious to take over the conversation but he let her speak first. If only to save face given he didn't want to make a fool of himself.

"That conversation we tabled a while ago." She said carefully.

"Yeah." He said.

"We need to talk about it." She said as she pressed her hands to his chest and played with the buttons on his shirt.

"I want you to stay." He told her, not able to wait out her pauses. He was more than ready to lay all his cards on the table.

"What?" She asked, genuinely surprised.

"I want you stay, permanently with me. Real marriage and everything." He said beating her to it.

"Yeah?" She asked, a beautiful smile lit up her face. As he said everything she wanted to hear and with true sincerity. She blinked back the tears that threatened to ruin her composure.

"Yes, I do because I love you." He said sincerely as he tucked her hair behind one ear and gently grazed his hand down her face in a loving gesture.

"I love you too." Naz said, she meant it. She hadn't even realised how true the words were until they popped out of her mouth.

"I want us to be a family. All three of us." He told her.

"Three?" She asked, then it hit her. "You know!" she exclaimed as she looked at him incredulously.

"You don't hide things very well with your frame." He told her, Naz's jaw dropped as she wasn't sure if she should be angry at him for calling her fat or for figuring out she was pregnant when she had been torturing herself over how to tell him.

"What's wrong with my frame?" She asked darkly, he grinned unapologetically.

"Nothing, but your body has changed a lot and you haven't had one period with me which told me what I needed to know. Given, I know a thing or two about pregnancy." He lied but he played smug and hoping to lighten the mood.

"Oh you know a thing or two?" She asked him mockingly as she tried to escape his hold but he kept her in his arms.

"Yeah, unless I made a faux pas and you're not pregnant. Then maybe we can discuss kids cause I like the idea of more kids, if you want them too." He said to her, she inhaled and relaxed on the exhale as she couldn't help but feel undone by him.

"It's lucky you feel that way because I'm pregnant and my ultrasound is schedule for two weeks' time. Surprise?!" she asked sarcastically.

"Definitely, surprised." He deadpanned, before he kissed her. She pulled him deeper into the kiss, enjoying the slow simmer of pleasure and warm affection.


	45. Chapter 45

Mike and Naz kissed as glasses clinked around them, they were married in a small ceremony surrounded by friends who were more like family. It was a quick ceremony, that led to pictures before they ended up at Darius' restaurant for a sumptuous dinner.

Naz had looked stunning in Sasha's wedding dress, but after the photos were taken; she changed into another dress; one that looked a little more comfortable given it was Navy instead of pristine white. Naz had no issue with the wardrobe change, given the wedding dress had been stunning on Naz and perfect for the ceremony and the photos.

The current dress she wore was far more comfortable in that it was a navy blue stretch jersey wrap dress with lace inserts in the shoulders and capped sleeves. They matched her tan strappy boots perfectly. So, she had more stretch to relax in that the wedding dress' silk did not provide. It was a beautiful day and turning into a fairy tale night.

"Ok save something for the honeymoon." Mira said with a grin, the others at the table laughed. Mike and Naz broke their kiss and looked at the others around the table a little sheepishly.

"Yeah, I'm losing my appetite." Meylan joked.

"Yet you nearly broke the glass tapping it with a spoon." Tom pointed out.

"I'm a complicated man." Meylan deadpanned, everyone at the table laughed before they continued to share the food Darius' restaurant had provided them with.

"So, where are you going for your honeymoon?" Mira asked.

"We are staying home. Just relaxing, phones off the hooks." Naz said with a smile to Mike.

"Do me a favour, keep your emergencies for next weekend." Mike joked as he took a plate from Naz and helped himself to a portion. The others laughed, before they all lulled into quiet appreciation of the food as they ate.

"So, Mike, is the food any better?" Darius asked.

"It's ok." Mike said with a grin.

"Seriously, don't bother. Mike never claims anything exceptional. We had the best BBQ ribs and all he said was -" Naz started.

"Eh," Mike finished.

"Mike makes the best ribs." Jeter said, Tom nodded in agreement.

"I told you." Mike said smugly to Naz.

"Proof is in the Ribs." Naz said teasingly.

"One day." Mike promised her.

"What about the rest of us?" Sasha asked from her side of the table. She remembered how it felt to be in the euphoria of honeymoon phase. Mike and Naz had a whole future together and a baby on the way.

"We could have a barbecue filled with all the trimmings of good American cooking." Mira enthused as the idea had every one nodding..

"The famine has to break soon, and it's too cold now. But come summer could be a different story." Meylan said.

* * *

A couple hours later,

"We should keep the celebrations going!" Mira said with a smile. They had said farewell to Mike and Naz. Andrea and Darius had bid goodnight as well, claiming fatigue but they weren't fooling anyone. Jeter said his goodnight as he had an early morning church service to attend. It was now, just Mira, Meylan, Sasha and Tom.

"Yes." Sasha said with a smile. Meylan looked to Tom as they all knew he went where his wife did while Tom was a free agent.

"Sure, my kids are at sleep overs with friends. So, I can stay out as long as I want." Tom said. Mira and Sasha cheered and linked arms as they headed down the street.

"I'm not linking arms with you." Tom told Meylan.

"No fun, Chandler." Meylan quipped in amusement as they followed the women.

* * *

"One second," Mike said as he broke from the kiss first. He barely closed front door when Naz attacked him. It was the best kind of attack.

"Really? I've been waiting all day. I even changed into a dress you could literally rip off me with ending up with Sasha unmanning you." She said sexually frustrated, he smiled as she looked sexy as sin with her tousled hair.

"I have a present for you." He told her, she blew out a breath and stepped back; showing patience even though she really wanted to strip him naked and have her way with him. He felt her hungry eyes on him as he lifted up the unmarked bag and placed it on the coffee table.

"Is it something dirty?" Naz asked as she bent over and took off her boots before she padded over to the table.

"Could be." Mike said in amusement. She pulled out the tissue paper and placed in the table and frowned as she had to use some muscle. She pulled a large English dictionary.

"A dictionary?" She asked in amusement.

"For when we play scrabble. It includes international spelling. New rule, any spelling that is in this dictionary is allowed." He told her, she couldn't help but smile as she opened the dictionary to the 'C' section. She looked down and flicked through a few pages until she found the word she was looking for.

"So, I can spell colour with a 'u'?" Naz asked with amused curiosity.

"Yep, so what do you think?" He asked her.

"I love it and I'm going to whoop your ass at scrabble next time we play." Naz told him, Mike laughed as he'd like to see the day.

"We'll see." He told her, Naz closed the dictionary and placed it on the table.

"But right, it's our honeymoon and I would like to ravish you." Naz told him, she moved around the table to him. She undid his tie and pulled it off, letting it sail to floor before she moved to the buttons of his shirt.

"Ravish me?" He asked as he pulled on the tie of her wrap dress. Naz smiled as he slid the dress off her shoulder. It pooled on the floor at her feet. She loved how he looked at her like she were the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on.

"Yeah, brace yourself." She quipped as she pushed him onto the couch and climbed on top of him.

* * *

A couple hours later,

"Call it quits?" Sasha asked after Mira and Meylan said their goodbyes. The night still felt young even though it was nearing to midnight. She was surprising sober but then she had purposefully switched to water so she wouldn't trip up or repeat history in vomiting and then waking up in Tom's bed naked.

"Sure, let me walk you home." Tom said.

"Ok." Sasha said, they jumped into a cab to save them from the cold. Sasha gave the driver her address before leaning back in her seat.

"Tonight was great. I'm kind of glad Mike and Naz made it adults only." Tom said, he meant it. At first, he was a little miffed at being told his kids had to stay at home and the idea of such a small ceremony seemed wrong. But after today, he had a real appreciation of what they wanted for themselves.

"Because you got to have a social life?" Sasha asked in amusement.

"I haven't been out like this since my twenties." Tom admitted, it sounded sad but he had a different life. It wasn't bad, he liked it but he had to admit he missed the nightlife and socialising with adults where the conversation didn't dissolve to their kids in 20 seconds flat.

"Well, you got a lot on your plate." She said, making excuses for him.

"Yes, but still it's good to get out and have fun." He said, she hummed in appreciation as she looked out the window and watched the world pass by them. They lapsed into a companionable silence until the taxi pulled to a stop. "Let me." Tom said.

"You know, if you want to keep reliving your twenties you could come upstairs. Azima got me a housewarming present I think you'd get a kick out of." Sasha said before she made the gesture for smoking weed.

"I can't. I'm a teacher." He told her, they both couldn't help but laugh.

"It's Saturday night, you're not on the clock. Live a little." Sasha teased.

"Mmm ok." Tom said, as he couldn't resist her playful smile. He watched her get out of the taxi and wait for him. He paid the driver and jumped out of the taxi. "But you're a bad influence." He told her, she scoffed at him.

"Yeah, I really twisted your arm." She drawled as she opened the outer security door to her building and welcomed him to her apartment.

* * *

"We should move to the bedroom." Mike murmured against Naz's neck. They were laying on the couch, naked under a throw blanket. Something was just enough when they were fevered from the exertion their session of love making. But now, it was starting to get a little chilly.

"I need a moment, I'm limp as noodle." Naz drawled in a sleepy but sated manner.

"Sticky as an overcooked one too." Mike said, Naz couldn't help but laugh.

"Thank you." She murmured, before she pressed a kiss to his chest. "I feel like you're subtly nudging me to the shower." She said teasingly as she trailed her hands up his torso and back down in lazy, sensual manner.

"Yes, but you won't be alone. I'm pretty sure I'm wearing half of your make up, if not more." He whispered to her in amusement. Naz couldn't help but giggle as she lift her head up and saw the streak of mascara and her foundation on his chest. There was a good stark contrast in their skin tone as her foundation was not a perfect match for him. She also knew he was right, a shower before bed sounded heavenly end to a great day.

"Ok, shower time." Naz told him.

* * *

A couple hours later,

"This how I imagine a unicorn's fur would feel like. So soft, did you use my conditioner?" Sasha asked as she stroked a hand through Tom's hair. His head was resting on a pillow in her lap as he stretched across the lounge in a 'I heart Norfolk' T-shirt and grey sweatpants. An outfit they bought on a whim, while high and buying snacks to soothe the munchies.

"No," he drawled slowly, she frowned as she knew he was lying. "But you do have a nice shower, I could feel every raindrop of the rainbow." He told her, she smiled.

"I told you." She said, they had taken separate showers. She was sitting in her comfiest yoga pants and a random t-shirt she had laying about. She felt good for washing off her makeup, hair spray and the sweat of the evening. She actually felt like every cell in her body was collectively sighing in pleasurable relief every few seconds. It was glorious.

"Not sure if I love Norfolk so much I'd wear hearts about it." Tom said with a frown, but Sasha smoothed out the lines on his forehead.

"Yeah you do." She assured him. He took her word as he relaxed his expression. His concern fading away.

"We should do this more often," he said.

"Smoke weed?" Sasha asked. Tom's eyes went wide.

"Oh my god, did we smoke weed?" He asked, Sasha wasn't entirely sure if he was joking or not as he looked genuinely freaked out.

"Yes?" She said feeling a little unsure of if she should tell him.

"Shit, my kids are going to kill me." He said. Sasha couldn't help but laugh as it was gold to her that he was afraid of his own kids.

"I won't tell them." She promised before she snorted a laugh at Tom's mini meltdown.

"They will know, will they know?" Tom asked with a frown, then he made a realisation. "I'm a hypocrite, I tell them not to do drugs and I'm doing drugs." Tom said, Sasha chuckled as Tom talked himself through a loop of how drugs were bad and maybe he could just play it cool. But no, his kids were smart… maybe not Sammy but Ashley was sharp.

"Here, have some more." Sasha said as she offered him the blunt just to see what would happen and to chill him out.

"Ok." Tom said, he took a drag from the blunt, "Damn, I shouldn't." He said as he exhaled smoke. Sasha giggled as she took the nearly finished blunt and took another draw herself before resting it back into the glass she was using as a cigarette tray. "Don't laugh, I'm respectable pillar of society. I have songs written in Greek about me." Tom told her.

"You're so high." Sasha said before she snorted another giggle and then laughed at her own snort. Tom got a dopey look on his face as he looked at her.

"We should date." Tom told her, changing the subject. He rolled onto his stomach and looked up at her.

"No, we discussed this." Sasha said firmly.

"No, you told me all the reasons it wouldn't work. But here's the thing. You're beautiful, your shampoo smells nice and I love you." He said sincerely.

"I love you too." She said, the words slipping out so carelessly but she didn't mind as she was so relaxed and happy. It wasn't a lie.

"So, we should casually but exclusively date on another, completely under the radar. As you find repulsive and don't want people to know" He said as he relaxed his head back into her lap.

"You're not repulsive, you're just high maintenance." Sasha told him as a joke, but Tom frowned as he took it seriously.

"I am, these muscles don't happen naturally like Patrick Stewart's do. I want to age like him but with my hair." Tom said thoughtfully.

"Who?" Sasha asked.

"We should date, I want to be your dirty secret." Tom told her.

"My dirty secret?" She asked in amusement.

"Yes! No one would ever suspect it. If it doesn't work out, then we tried and had a good time for a bit. But if it does work, then you have to marry me and live the rest of life with me. Grow old and happy with me." He told her in a matter fact tone.

"Ok, but I want babies." She said as she thought they were just talking in theoretically. She kind of liked speaking in theoretical terms.

"No more than three. I'm already grey and my knees are shot." He said.

"I'd make cute babies." Sasha told him.

"I need paper." He said, he rolled off the couch in an ungraceful heap before he got to his feet. She laughed hysterically as Tom raced around the room collecting pens and a small pile of paper from her printer. He came back to the coffee table and sat on the floor. He piled his bounty onto the table in a messy manner.

"What are you doing?" Sasha asked

"Shh, I'm writing." Tom told her as he started to do so.

"Sorry." She said, he stopped and looked confused.

"What was I writing?" he asked her.

"I don't know." Sasha said with a giggle before she grabbed the bag of doritos from the floor and started munching away. It seemed to set a lightbulb off in Tom's head.

"Yes, that's right." He said, he went back to work writing.

* * *

The next morning,

"Morning," Mike said to Naz as he nuzzled her neck. She hummed in appreciation as she smoothed her hands over the arm he had draped around her waist. He tightened his arm around her, pulled her in even closer.

"Morning, Husband." She told him, she enjoyed the lazy warmth of them in bed together.

"I like how that sounds." He told her, he loved all of it. As he had Naz, their marriage. It felt good to wear a ring, to be married again and have it mean the beginning of something than the end. He loosened his hold on Naz as she turned and face him. She gave him a slow kiss god morning before pulling back. She smiled lovingly at him as she smoothed a hand up his chest and over his shoulder.

"I really want to make love to you but I'm starving." She told him, he would've tried to convince her that there was time except her heard her stomach gurgle loudly. They both couldn't help but laugh.

"Ok, pause button on the lots of sex that's on our to do list. Breakfast first." Mike quipped.

* * *

Sasha slowly woke up with a smile on her lips as she was so cosy and warm. She was fully aware that had to do with Tom spooning her from behind on the couch. They were both fully clothed, she felt like she had one of the best sleeps of her life. Her body was still singing happy with the relaxation the pot had given her.

She had missed how good could it felt to wake up like this. To be fully relaxed and replete from a night's rest and not alone. She felt Tom's warm breath brushed against the nape of her neck. His body pressed against hers, his arm draped over her waist. His fingers sleepily playing with hers. She had forgotten what a fidget maker he was in his sleep. She just sighed sleepily, as she just wanted a quick peek of him sleeping. To see him sleeping peacefully. She looked over her shoulder and found her eyes meet his.

There was something in his eyes that made her feel like she right where she was supposed to. That here, with him was home. Before rational thought could ruin it, she kissed him. It had been tentative at first, but snapped in her as she just wanted him. She didn't want mince words, or find explanation to the sanity. Tom seemed to be in the same mind as her as he kissed her back just as eagerly and passionately.

She wanted every second, searing it into her memory. The feel of his skin, the taste of his lips, his hands on her body. Without breaking their kiss, they shifted into a more comfortable position. She let her hands roam over his chest, hips and backside. She felt him slip a hand under her t-shirt to touch her breast and sighed against her lips as he did so. It was becoming too much, he felt the same as he broke the kiss and pulled away.

She watched him as he sat back on his knees. He tugged his T-shirt over his head, leaving him in his grey sweats, and he stared down at her body. TShe expected him to pounce or do something but he just stopped.

"Tell me you're not still high." He begged.

"Sober. Fully consenting, promise to not let it bite you in the ass." She promised.

"Yes?" He asked just for the sake of clarification.

"Yes." She said, that was it. He smiled and started kissing her again. She was drowning in pleasure and the excitement.

* * *

"Another Present?" Naz asked as he placed the bag on the table. They had just finished breakfast when Mike pulled the bag out of the hallway cupboard. It wasn't a small bag either.

"I couldn't resist." He said with a grin as he sat down at the table again. She saw his excitement at her opening the gift and felt bad as she hadn't thought to buy him anything past the steak in the fridge but it wasn't the same.

"I feel bad that I didn't get you anything." Naz said as she took a sip of her juice and placed the glass down.

"Don't, this technically isn't for you." He added with a wink.

"That's lucky, cause all that's left to give you for gifts are socks." She joked.

"I love sex. It's a pretty good present for any occasion and just because." He offered as a suggestion. Naz blushed lightly as she was not going argue that one. As it was an easy gift to share with him.

"Can't exactly unwrap that at Christmas around your friends and family." Naz said with a laugh.

"I prefer not to. Now, open it." He said nudging it towards her. She opened the bag, and her face broke into a smile and her eyes teared up as she pulled out a basic white onesie with long sleeves and bootie feet, socks and a pair of baby sneakers.

"Oh, Mike. These are so cute and tiny." She said in amazement as she just melted at the cute factor of the gift. The excitement that their child would be wearing the items in a few months' time. She hadn't said it out loud but she was completely in love and attached to their unborn child. She couldn't wait to hold their baby in her arms and see the baby in the items Mike had bought.

"Babies are tiny and cute." Mike informed her in a soft voice.

"Thank God for that or I'd be signing up for a c-section." Naz joked. Mike snorted a laugh.

"I'm really happy about us and the future. I haven't felt that in a long time." He told her, honestly. He rested his hand on top of hers.

"Me too." Naz said as she really felt blessed, she turned her hand over and held his in hers.

"I was thinking that the bedroom across the hall from us; should be the baby's room. If you feel up to it, we could go look at paint swatches today." He said to her.

"We haven't even had an ultrasound together. You want to paint the room?" She asked.

"I know, but I like to be prepared and I will be back at work in less than 5 months' time. So I want to use my time off efficiently." He said, pragmatically as he assumed he was going to be deployed.

"You think they'll deploy you right away?" She asked him, as she had to wonder if it factored into the rush to make a nursery.

"Never know, but it would fun to get the room ready together." He told her with a grin. She could see he was enthusiastic about it.

"Ok, but we'll be going off script on our honeymoon to-do list." She reminded him, in a teasing manner.

"I can do lots of sex with you later." He promised as he leaned in close for kiss.

"Lots and lots?" she asked.

"As much as you want." He said before he kissed her.

* * *

"That happened." Sasha said awkwardly, she and Tom sat on the couch a little shell shocked. She had pulled on the 'I heart Norfolk' T-shirt for warmth as the throw blanket didn't do much.

"Yeah, it did." He said, they both looked at one another and laughed as it was awkward and they were both nervous. Nervous because their relationship was rife and they just had amazing sex. "Breakfast?" He offered.

"Sure, there are eggs and bacon and in the fridge." She said, she watched him get up from the lounge and pull his sweats on. She ran a hand through her hair and blew out a nervous breath.

"Is it biting me in the ass yet?" Tom asked from the kitchen area.

"No," She said, she didn't regret it but she also didn't want to talk about it. She found her knickers and yoga pants and pulled them on before she moved to the thermostat to turn up the heating. She moved to the couch and sat down again. She frowned as she looked at the pile of paper stapled together. She picked it up and flipped through the pages, while Tom pottered around in the kitchen. She couldn't help but burst out laughing as she was three pages in.

"What?" Tom asked.

"You wrote a contract." She said in amusement.

"I did?" He asked a little nervous as he remembered writing but not everything he wrote.

"We signed it. You agreed that you tell me who Patrick Stewart is and the secrets of the Unicorns." Sasha said with a laugh as she rose from the couch over to the kitchen.

"The secret is that Unicorns don't exist." He offered as he flipped the eggs and bacon in the fry pan and brewed the coffee.

"You also have some serious Penis envy." Sasha said with a laugh as she showed him the paragraph that read that Sasha would agree to have sex with Tom on a semi casual basis with full understanding that his penis was not perfect, it liked hanging more to the left unlike Mike's 'perfection'.

"Do I want to know how you know which way Mike swings?" Sasha asked him as she grabbed a couple mugs from the cupboard.

"We shared quarters once and Mike likes to sleep in the buff. He really isn't shy about his nudity." Tom told her, he shook his head as he was glad when he was able to have his own space.

"Look on the bright side, you and Naz have something else in common. You've both seen Mike's perfection." Sasha said before she laughed at Tom's mortification. "I feel like I'm missing out." Sasha quipped, Tom shook his head at her.

"For the record, I like all my parts just fine. Mike is not going to drop his trouser for you. Ever." He assured her.

"Well, I know it's in the contract that I can't look or play with other men's penises." Sasha said in a rich manner as she kept reading and chuckling. Tom made a mental note to never get high again.

"What else in there?" He asked her as he plated up the breakfast. He moved to the dining table and placed it down.

"A very detailed schedule for our relationship, we have skipped over about three weeks of it." She said as she handed it to him. She poured the coffee and moved to the table.

"I'm never getting high with you again. We should shred this." Tom told her as he was surprised at how graphic and detailed his 'contract' was. He'd listed out in great length what the parameters of their relationship would be with a three-page schedule of their relationship from casual to semi serious to the end goal of dying in each other's arms old and grey in Notebook style.

"Oh hell no, I'm saving this." She told him as she snatched it away from him.

"Why?" Tom asked her as he grabbed them cutlery.

"It's adorable and a little hot. Especially paragraphs 8-13." She said with a grin.

"You're killing me here." Tom said as he watched her put the contract away and join him at the table.

"Maybe we should give it go." She said.

"What? Paragraphs 8-13?" Tom asked mockingly before he took a bite of his breakfast.

"Well, yeah that part and minus your weird fascination with unicorns and Patrick Stewart."

"He's an actor and Sammy likes Star Trek even though he's terrible at science." Tom mumbled embarrassed that while high on Pot. He could say and write an inordinate amount of crazy.

"Anyway, I wouldn't mind just casually hanging out together. The sex is passable." Sasha said teasingly.

"Passable?" Tom sputtered, she grinned evilly.

"See where it goes minus you trying to meld me into your world." Sasha told him, letting him squirm instead of inflating his ego.

"You want to be on the outside." Tom said, as he wasn't sure he liked that. He didn't understand why she would want to purposefully set herself apart from him but still be with him.

"I don't want to jump in the deep end with you. You know why given my job. This morning, last night and the contract sound like fun. Don't we deserve some fun?" She asked him before she ate some more of her breakfast and washed it down with coffee.

"Yeah," He said as he couldn't argue with what she was saying. He knew why she liked the contract, it was the insanity of a relationship without commitment. Pretending they wouldn't get attached to another when they would.

"So, want to give it a go?" Sasha asked.

"I'm game." Tom said, as he couldn't say no to her. Not when what she was offering was a possible first step to a future he wanted.


	46. Chapter 46

A couple weeks later,

"Look at this face, yes I love you too. You're so beautiful, yes you are." Naz cooed as she rubbed down one of the many dogs of varying ages that circled around her. Sasha wore a wry expression as it was the fourth dog Naz professed her love for.

They had driven out to a farm that was part of the training program. It bred and trained dogs of varying breeds to be work dogs from Military to service dogs for people with disabilities. It was a huge operation, and one could only visit when given a special invitation.

Azima had gotten such an invitation as she like many military families came here to adopt the dogs who didn't make the cut. There was nothing wrong with the dogs, they were all happy animals. They just missed certain qualities needed to a working dog.

Azima today was adopting a dog. Sasha being the only one with a driver's licence and car. Drove them out to the farm.

She stood inside the large fenced in area watching Naz play. Sasha would've gotten down with her but she really didn't want to fall in love with a dog. She just didn't have the space or time to give a dog the home it deserved. She was a sucker for the cute puppies and exuberant wagging of tails.

"Azima said you both were interested in adopting dogs." A man called out as he walked over to them. He was ex-military, in his late 40s and his name was 'Steve' if his uniform tag was to be believed. Sasha knew he was ex-military due to his posture and how he moved. There were just habits one did not lose after leaving the services.

"Did she now?" Naz asked in amusement as she rose from the ground.

"If you want I can put it into the works. All these dogs are looking for a home." Steve said smiling at Naz, Sasha couldn't help but be amused when Naz purposefully ran a hand through her hair; flashing her wedding ring.

"I'm not sure my husband would be a fan of a puppy." Naz told him.

"We have older dogs. Your husband Navy?" he asked.

"Yes, a Captain." Naz said with a proud smile.

"Long deployments make for a lonely home." Steve drawled, if he wasn't trying to sell them into adopting a dog. Sasha would've thought it was a line.

"Well, I got a baby to keep me company" Naz patted her stomach for emphasis "which I'm told is like having a dog except they grow up to college than die in 18 years." Naz said, Steve barked a laugh at her poor joke.

"I hear you, but keep us in mind as I know you'll want a dog and our dogs are the best even the drop outs." He told her with a grin.

"Why don't you show Sasha, she's more in a place to adopt than I am." Naz said gesturing to Sasha like she were a brand new Mercedes in the showroom.

"I'm good, I'm just the wheels." Sasha told him,

"Ok, if you change your mind I'll be over that way. Training the service dogs." He told them, with that the man walked away.

"He's cute." Naz said in an amused manner as she watched Steve walk away.

"He's ok." Sasha said with a shrug.

"Really? Did you not see that ass or his arms?" Naz asked her.

"You're married." Sasha reminded her.

"Yes, I am and happily so. But I was thinking of you. I'm a little worried about you. You aren't checking out everything with a dick. Which tells me that you're shagging Tom." Naz stated.

"Excuse me?" Sasha asked incredulously as it was quite the leap.

"Not an outright denial. I thought it was all complicated and ew. I totally understood the 'ew' part." Naz said making a face, Sasha couldn't help but laugh.

"It's uncomplicated now and not 'ew'. It was never 'ew'." Sasha assured her.

"Ok." Naz said, Sasha frowned as it was too easy. In Naz, silence Sasha felt the urge to defend Tom and she couldn't stop herself.

"Tom is good looking and fun-" She started.

"As a constipated cat." Naz finished with a chuckle.

"I like cats." Sasha told her.

"You're allergic to cats." Naz reminded her.

"Only recently." Sasha said defensively, "I was fine before. Stop looking at me like that." She said as Naz was giving her a weird look. Frankly, she felt when Naz was considering a person to be 'weird' it had to be concerning.

"I'm not giving you a look. I'm just a little confused as to why you need to defend yourself. It's your life, you can shag whoever you want." Naz said as if it were that simple.

"But you don't agree." Sasha said.

"Are you happy?" Naz asked.

"Yes, I am. It's only a casual thing." Sasha told her.

"So just sex?" Naz asked.

"Yes, I'm not changing my life or hanging out with his kids. He and I just hook up for some fun." Sasha said, a smile playing on her lips as she did enjoy their time together even if wasn't more than a random afternoon here and there. Between their work schedules, his kids and their schedule; there wasn't much leftover for Tom and Sasha.

"Ok." Naz said, she said the same way as she had before which made it hard for Sasha to really know what she thought.

"So now you approve?" Sasha asked, Naz laughed.

"You're reading way too much into this. But do get an STD test and make sure your condoms are within their use by." Naz told her.

"Seriously?" Sasha asked.

"He slept with Lucia. You have no idea where or who she has been with. Or how many other's those guys have been with. You're basically having sex with Tom's sexual partners and their sexual partners' sexual partners." Naz said, Sasha's nose wrinkled in disgust as she didn't need the imagery of what Naz suggested in her head.

"God, you're off." Sasha said with a laugh.

"Just saying, be careful or you could end up like me." Naz said with a grin, Sasha had to admit that Naz's lot was pretty good. She was happily married and pregnant.

"Well, if I end up like you; then I think I'll be doing ok. And anyway, I can look after myself." Sasha assured her.

"That's what every girl says before they end up with an UTI and their boyfriend's ex rocking up on their apartment doorstep pregnant." Naz drawled mockingly.

"You're watching way too much daytime TV." Sasha said with a chuckle.

"I am, but Mike won't let me into the baby's room. It's so frustrating. The Christmas decorations are up outside and I have nothing to do." Naz told her.

"American studies?" Sasha offered, she'd suggest Naz get a job but knew that Naz wanted to be a stay at home mum. She respected the decision enough to not even joke about it.

"I can only study so much and Mike quizzes me enough that I'm going to ace that interview." Naz assured her.

"Has you put in your paperwork?" Sasha asked out of curiosity.

"Yeah, they said they'd call when an interview spot opened up. But I was warned that there are about two to three hundred people ahead of me. So, it's going to take a while." Naz explained with a shrug as she wasn't concerned about the wait.

"Maybe you should get a hobby that doesn't involve crushing Candace's spirit?" Sasha suggested in a tongue and cheek manner.

"That doesn't leave much." Naz deadpanned. "But that's over with, I promised Mike; I'd be a very calm and loving person. Candace is giving me a wide berth which is a relief." She added.

"She probably couldn't handle your Christmas village of decorations." Sasha said with a chuckle as the decorations on the Slattery house were insane and over the top.

"Or the threat of 24/7 Christmas carols." Naz added in good humour. Sasha felt her mobile phone vibrate and pulled it from her coat pocket.

"Work." She said with a sigh as she'd hoped to at least get a day with them not calling her.

* * *

"Isn't it a little early for this?" Tom asked Mike.

"No," Mike said.

"Shouldn't you let Naz help you?" Tom asked, feeling a little uncomfortable with his part in what was happening.

"I want to surprise her and watch where you put the stars. Make sure it's smooth." Mike told him as they were putting white vinyl stars on the light grey walls. Tom looked at Mike and purposefully slowed his efforts of smoothing out the vinyl star to demonstrate how ridiculous Mike was being.

"So, you think it will be a girl?" Tom asked him, he looked at the grey walls, white stars and felt it was signalling that it would be a girl.

"This is unisex. Don't rub your fingers on the wall or we'll get stains." He told him.

"Where did you get the idea for this?" Tom asked him, as he gave up and stepped back. Mike had been telling him what to do and how to do it since he came over. He understood the preoccupation but he knew when he was in a no-win situation.

"What's with the interrogation?" Mike asked in amusement as he smoothed another star on the wall.

"Just can't get used to this 'new' you." Tom quipped.

"You mean, me being happy?" Mike asked.

"No, I've seen you happy but this like full on 37 weeks pregnant woman nesting mode." Tom said in amusement.

"I painted the walls and we're putting stars on them." Mike said as he didn't think it was a big thing.

"That?" Tom asked gesturing to the framed pictures of animals on white backgrounds that sat on the floor.

"Just something Naz liked at the shop we passed by in town." Mike said.

"You went back and bought it." Tom stated as he was pretty sure that Mike had all the baby furniture and clothing on layby just waiting for the perfect moment to take Naz 'shopping' and see if she picked out the same items.

"No, we bought it on the spot. We chose the colour for the room together." Mike said, making it clear he wasn't doing this without Naz's approval. He just wanted to surprise her.

"The stars?" Tom asked.

"My idea, I like them and I saw a picture in a magazine at the dentist's office. Figured it would work. So, stop looking at me like that." Mike told him.

"I'm just wondering where you've been hiding this side of yourself." Tom said with a chuckle.

"You know what I wonder?" Mike asked.

"What?" Tom asked.

"Why you smell like Cooper. Makes me think you're fooling around with her." Mike said with a shit eating grin as a tell tale blush spread across Tom's face.

"Not that it's your business given you're not my father or Sasha's but we're just two consenting adults having some fun." Tom said.

"Ok." Mike said casually as if it wasn't a big deal. It made Tom suspicious.

"That's it?" Tom asked, Mike gave a shrug and Tom narrowed his eye at the man wondering what he was thinking.

"You get tested?" Mike asked uncomfortably as he didn't really know what else to say. He didn't feel like warning Tom off Sasha as Tom knew the talk and the warning. So why waste his breath? But he could see a perfect moment to poke some fun at Tom.

"What?" Tom asked him incredulously.

"You did have sex with Lucia. In a post-apocalyptic world, condoms aren't as reliable as they used to be. Naz and I were watching TV the other night. There was this ad about how when you have sex with someone; you're having sex with every other person they had sex with and so on." Mike said, he looked slightly disturbed which made Tom wonder where he could see this add and if it would turn his kids off of having sex.

"Why are you always bringing up the past 16 months with me?" Tom asked wryly as he wasn't insulted.

"Because it was the first time in over four years we weren't in each other's pockets. I had no clue where you were, if you were sleeping or eating right, did you think of me-" Mike laughed as Tom glared at him much like a moody teenager dealing with an smothering parent. "Not to mention, Lucia was a nutbag. Naz and I'd hate for you pass on some nasty STD to Sasha." Mike commented with a chuckle.

"I'm clean, not that it's any of your business." Tom said trying not to laugh as he really didn't want Lucia and his past sexual relationships to be a running joke in the Slattery household.

"It isn't. But I'm sure Sasha will appreciate it." Mike said with a grin and Tom realised that every time Mike or Naz made a rude comment about his 16 months away he kept revealing things he'd have kept to himself given he all but confirmed he had sexual relations with Lucia.

"Sasha tell Naz about us?" Tom asked.

"Nope, you smell of Cooper's hair products and I dropped Naz off this morning. We saw you leave the apartment in a less than conspicuous manner. Not too hard to put two and two together." Mike said in amusement.

"How would you know Sasha's hair products?" Tom asked.

"Naz uses the same stuff." Mike told him.

"That makes you think I'm having sex with Sasha? What if I told you it was just coffee." Tom argued.

"Except you've already told me your health status and that you're two consenting adults. Just confirming all my suspicions." Mike said with a grin. Tom knew he could comment on Mike's weird habit of people watching but he decided to take a different tactic.

"I really care about her." Tom said seriously, "I told her that, she doesn't want anything serious." He added, Mike looked thoughtful which Tom appreciated as he didn't think he could handle another joke.

"Maybe she's got a mission coming up. It's hard to go undercover, leave everything behind." Mike hypothesised.

"We've all been there." Tom said, Mike shook his head.

"It's not the same. We're more honest in how we work. We don't have to hide who we are for months or longer. We put on a uniform, we are who we say we are. She has to box up who she is and become an entirely different person. All to insinuate herself into dark underbelly of society." Mike told him.

"It's not easy." Tom conceded.

"You dragged your kids into your mission and even then, you used your own identity and history. She will travel the most indirect route to her start point. She'll change her appearance, how she talks and walks. She'll have a new name and the backstopping to prove she is that person for anyone who wants to dig deeper. It's a whole other way of life, I admire what she does but I can understand her fear of putting down roots and becoming attached to people." Mike argued.

"That's a good point." Tom said as he hadn't given that much thought. He made assumptions on her life because of his vague attempts of being undercover. He knew it was easy to hold a cover for a few days, but the idea of submerging himself into the darkness of being Hercules, of never seeing his kids and the real risk of not coming home…it was very different. He'd never truly taken the time to consider it as Sasha kept that side of her so disconnected from him and the others.

"What to know what I think?" Mike asked as he kept sticking stars to the wall. It was unreal to have such a meaningful conversation with a man as he stuck stickers to a wall.

"Sure." Tom said.

"I think she loves your ugly face but she's got this desperate need to prove herself, to who? I don't know but once she sorts that out. I think she'll want to settle down. I honestly think she's close to it given how close she is with Naz." Mike speculated.

"Probably right." Tom said as he couldn't argue with Mike's logic. He also secretly hoped Mike was right as he wanted Sasha. He wanted her to come home to him, be a part of his life and his family.

"So, maybe just give her what she needs and one day she'll come back to you." Mike offered.

* * *

Half an hour later,

Sasha broke the kiss and pushed Tom back. He didn't like the apologetic look on her face or the bag by the door. Something about it, just unnerved him.

"You're going somewhere?" Tom asked Sasha as he gestured to the bag by the door. Sasha nodded as she stepped away and moved to the coffee table where she was picking up the last of her things and stuffing them into pockets of her coat.

"Yes, there's been a development and I have to head out." She said, Tom knew immediately that she wasn't going out for a small trip. Everything about this stank of a long deployment, he knew because he'd left home and could tell the signs.

"So quickly?" He asked, she gave him a wry smile as the tables had turned on him. He was the Navy wife in their scenario, but unlike what he had with Darien. He wasn't privy to Sasha's job. He wasn't allowed to know where she was going or how long.

"Everything is time sensitive in my line of work." She reminded him.

"But you barely had time to have a break." He said, he wanted to say they barely had time. He'd hoped she'd be stationed here long enough for him to convince they could be more than a hook up.

"Tom, this is what I've been trying to tell you from the beginning. This is my life, one minute I'm here and the next I gotta go." Sasha told him, he nodded as she hadn't lied about it or downplayed it. He could see why she was stressed by involving him in it, he came with kids.

"For how long?" Tom asked.

"As long as it takes." Sasha said.

"Will you be able to call home?" he asked, when he said 'home' he meant himself.

"I don't know, look I can't do this right now." A beep from a car horn sounded from the street. "That's my ride." She told him.

She cupped his face with her hands and gave him a deep, passionate kiss that made him ache as if felt like she was saying a final goodbye. "Take the food from the fridge, lock up after yourself." She told him.

"Sash-" He started but she shook her head and just kissed him again. As she pulled back she gave him a look that felt reminiscent to the one he gave her before he left the ship after saving America from a coup.

"Take care yourself and the kids." She told him sincerely, before he could really say what he wanted to; she was gone.

* * *

"Ah, no." Mike said as he closed the door to the baby's room before Naz could get a glimpse. He pulled her into his arms and moved them away from the door and down the hallway.

"No fair." Naz said with a pout as she playfully tugged on the front of his button-down shirt. "Sasha left today, her job called and she just ran off like her ass was on fire." She told him.

"She'll be back." Mike assured her. Naz nodded as they both wanted to remain hopeful about their lives. It was why they were doing the insane thing of painting a baby's room when the pregnancy was only just into the second trimester. "How did you get home?" he asked out of curiosity.

"Wolf picked us up. I was thinking we should adopt a dog." She told him with a smile. She just wanted to focus on the good and the things she could change around her.

"Steve's dogs got to you too." Mike said with a grin. He knew it was a mistake to let her run off with Azima and Sasha to a dog farm. But he also knew she was a dog person who'd enjoy it. It also meant unfettered access to the baby room without her hovering around to get a peek.

"They are such small, loveable and happy creatures." She told him enthusiastically.

"Some of them grow into large loveable creatures." Mike reminded her in amusement.

"Yes, they do." Naz said with a grin.

"Have you owned a dog before?" Mike asked her.

"No." She replied ruefully, she knew it would go in the con category of adopting a dog.

"Neither have I, so why don't we start with our baby and then see how we feel about throwing a dog into the mix." He suggested, she made a face as she was still riding the high from the adoration of the dogs.

"Ok, fine. Can I get a peek into the room as compensation?" She asked with a hopeful expression. "The fumes have to have dissipated by now. Please don't make me beg. It'll be so undignified." She added.

"Ok, just remember it's not done." Mike told her as he grabbed her by the hand and led her back to the closed door.

"I know, the baby isn't going to be here for a few months. We got time and we still have to go furniture hunting." She said with a smile. Mike opened the door. Naz peered in, her heart swelled with joy as it was so beautiful. "Oh, Mike, this looks amazing." Naz told him.

"Still gotta put up a few more stars." He said pointing to the one wall that needed a few dozen stars to fill in the gap.

"We can do it together." Naz told him, she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder

"Yes, we can." Mike agreed as he slid arm around her and looked at the room. Seeing the potential and the future it held.


	47. Chapter 47

**Epilogue**

* * *

10 months later,

Sasha cooed at baby Sara who snuffled and stretched her tiny body in Sasha's arms. She settled back down and dozed off again, Sasha was instantly in love her. Her and Andrea's 5 month old son Xavier who was currently mastering the army crawl as he pulled on the quilt Naz had on the floor to get himself moving. The babies were adorable, they made Sasha's heart ache with desire as she wanted one of her own whether the baby was of her flesh and blood or adopted. She just wanted to feel the wonder and joy, to love someone unconditionally and help them grow into a beautiful individual.

"She's so precious and beautiful." Sasha told Naz with a smile. She'd travel over a day to get back. She dumped her bags in her apartment, showered and changed into fresh clothes before she drove straight to the Slattery's. Sitting here, in the safety of American borders and among friends was nice in comparison to where she was currently posted. She had missed home, missed her friends. She was glad she had come home even if it was a quick visit as she needed this.

"I'm pretty rapt with her. She has Mike completely under the spell." Naz said, she wore a content smile as she sat on the floor with Xavier, keeping an eye on him as Andrea had been roped into the construction site otherwise known as Sara's room.

"I can see why." Sasha said, she had forgotten what it was like to hold a baby. The sense of wonder and peace all falling into place. The spell was nearly broken when something crashed in one of the bedrooms down the hallway and Tom cursed loudly. Xavier giggled as he rolled onto his back.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" Naz asked Xavier, he gave her a gummy smile as she reached out to her. She obliged him, and settled the boy into her lap. "They are putting one of those tepee tents in Sara's room. I don't see why given she's too small to do much at the moment. But it was a gift." Naz said with a shrug as she played with Xavier's arms.

"From who?" Sasha asked in amusement, Xavier smiled adorably at her before he pulled Naz's thumb into his mouth. He someone how landed the recessive genes as he had Andrea's red hair, and pale skin but his facial features and brown eyes were all Darius. He was just as happy and friendly as his father as he had a smile for everyone.

"Azima, you'd think from all the cursing and crash noises they were building the small fort out of sticks in there." Naz said in amusement.

"It's finally up." Andrea announced as she came out of the room with a satisfied smile on her face. "How was my boy?" She cooed as she relaxed on the couch next to Sasha.

"He's gorgeous." Naz said, Sasha nodded in agreement.

"I told Darius, that he'll be the ugliest adult as he's too gorgeous as a baby." Andrea said with a huff of laughter.

"I doubt that, his genes are excellent. He'll probably end up being a genius engineer with all ladies chasing him." Naz teased, the sound of footsteps sounded as the men came into the room.

"Cooper, didn't know you were back in town." Mike said with a smile, Tom looked just as happy if not more to see Sasha. She wished she felt the same but Tom just made her feel tangled up and tortured. It was her fault, she had left on a mission and hadn't contacted him since she left abruptly ten months ago. She hadn't spoken to anyone but her handler. It was protocol. The only reason she'd be able to leave was that she had made up the story of a death in the family. She just knew she had to be here to meet Naz and Andrea's kids while they were babies. It just felt important for her to be here with them even for a short time.

It proved just how much she had changed. Before she could've left and not looked back or worried about what she was missing. But she knew her heart was here in Norfolk. It was home, she was tired of detaching herself from everything she wanted. The life she wanted, she no longer wanted to try the balancing act of being in the field and coming home. Pretending she was someone she wasn't, living a false life and keeping all the lies. She didn't want to give up ONI, but she wanted to work in a different way.

"I didn't want to interrupt all your hard work. It sounded intense in there." Sasha said, she heard a tiny gurgle and sighed and looked back to baby Sara to see her looking up at Sasha. She were a smile, Sasha melted until Sara farted; she couldn't help but laugh as she not only heard but felt it.

"Oh, that one sounded loaded." Mike commented, as he placed the tool box on the ground. Sasha was more than happy to pass Sara over to his care. Sasha saw the dopey smile on Naz's face as she watched Mike cuddle Sara to his chest and disappear to change her diaper. Sasha wished she had a facsimile of their life, she knew from a full inbox of emails from Naz that her marriage wasn't picture perfect but they were happy. She wanted to hold a baby that was her own and feel the same joy and love that Naz and Andrea had for their offspring.

"So, did the bromance survive IKEA?" Naz asked Tom with a tone of amusement. It was clear the two were on better terms, Sasha wondered where the two found common ground and felt a little sorry she missed it.

"Firstly, it's not IKEA which made it harder to assemble and I think our friendship weathered the storm well." Tom said as he sat down in one of the arm chairs in the living room.

"They nearly cried when they realised they hadn't screwed in the bolt properly." Andrea said with a smarmy smile as she lifted Xavier out of Naz's hold and into her lap for a cuddle as he was getting a little restless.

"You know I think Andrea could have put it up in half the amount of time." Naz told him.

"I don't doubt that but you know how Mike is." Tom said.

"How am I, Tom?" Mike asked as he returned to the living room with Sara, he handed her back to Sasha before he sat down on the floor next to Naz. Sasha smiled as her eyes were back on the bundle of joy in her arms. She liked how her problems faded to white noise when the baby sighed and snuggled close.

"You wanted us to bond." Tom told Mike.

"You said that you wanted to help. You only made things worse because you didn't read the instructions properly." Mike argued.

"Boys, settle down. The tent up, mission accomplished." Naz said placating them both before they started to get narky about it.

* * *

A couple hours later,

Sasha had her last cuddle with Sara and said her goodbyes to the happy parents before she walked out the house with Tom at her side. Andrea had left over half an hour go to take Xavier to have dinner with his Daddy. She was ready to go to her apartment and order in dinner before sleeping for ten hours. She was not young anymore.

"How long are you in town?" Tom asked.

"Just a few days." Sasha said,

"You want to meet up for a coffee?" He asked as they walked down the front path.

"I can't, I'm in debriefings and I only came back to see Naz and the baby. There's no point in hooking up as I have to go back again." Sasha told him, she wasn't purposefully avoiding him. She just wanted to soak up what free time she had with people who reminded her of her purpose. Tom didn't do that for her, not the same way holding Sara and Xavier did. One day he would, but that wasn't this day. All he did was remind her that she was so very far away from her goals for what she wanted for her life.

"You know, you could stay." Tom told her as they stopped at the curb.

"What I'm doing is important." Sasha told him.

"There are others who can take your place." Tom told her, she shook her head as she wasn't angry at the suggestion.

"Funny, when I said the same to you in Asia and you scoffed at me for suggesting you shouldn't go out into the field." Sasha told him in an amused manner.

"You were subordinate in front of my crew. I remember you shredding me outside the bridge." He said with a wry smile. They both smiled as they remembered that conversation well.

"It's important to me that I see this through. You are a distraction. One that I can't afford to have right now." She said frankly, Tom nodded as he understood completely. He remembered how it was like to become fully focused on the mission. How he had to push aside his wants and desires, how he had to with Rachel to command his ship and help her get what she needed to make the cure.

"You really only came back for the babies? You know Naz's baby is adorable but she's nothing special." Tom joked, Sasha laughed and shook her head at him.

"I beg to differ. Sara is very lovable. I love babies, they remind me of how precious life is." Sasha said with a soft smile.

"If you want. You could be a mother, have a baby of your own." Tom said to Sasha.

"I know." Sasha said as she pulled out her keys.

"Then what's holding you back? besides your mission." Tom asked.

"Nothing, I just don't know if it's what I want." Sasha lied, she was just waiting for this mission to be over. Once it was finished, she was requesting transfer to desk duty and look into her options. But they were nothing but ideas, there wasn't a plan to act on. She just didn't want to tell him that. She didn't want him to get his hopes up, then have them crushed on the off chance she was K.I.A.

"Well, if you change your mind. I'd be happy to help you with it." Tom offered with a smile.

"Really?" She asked him, she couldn't help but be skeptical.

"Yeah, I could be the father. I have a great resume. You're part of the Nathan James crew which means an extended family to help out. I did contractually promise you three kids." He told her, she couldn't help but smile.

"So true," She said with a chuckle. "But if you find another Mrs Chandler; don't let her go on my account." She added.

"What if she's standing right in front of me?" Tom asked, Sasha felt her heart flutter and shook her head as he knew just what to say at the very wrong time. "We could have something special, we could have what Mike and Naz." He said seriously, the way he said 'we' made it sound like they were in a serious relationship actually discussing the idea of children. Her sleep deprived brain actually like the idea of them together.

"That sounds like a lot of promises." She told him, honestly even though she wanted to jump on his offer and throw caution to the wind.

"I can keep them, you just have to come back to me. I told you already that I'd wait for you. So, finish what you gotta do and come back to me." He said.

"I can't promise that, I never can with my line of work." Sasha told him frankly, she couldn't promise him a future until her mission was over. He nodded as he understood.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to sit around in Norfolk until you do come back and put a ring on it." Tom drawled as he held up his left hand and wiggled his ring finger. Sasha couldn't help but throw her head back and laugh. "I'm not giving up." he promised her.

"I hope you never do." Sasha told him, she opened her car door and got in. She didn't know what the future held, but she hoped to whoever was watching; it would get better.

* * *

Mike who was halfway through reading one of his manuals at the kitchen table; lifted his arm, pushed his chair a little further out of the table and leaned back into his chair. All as Naz slinked herself into his lap and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. It was her usual move when she wanted his attention. He didn't mind as he always wanted her and was always looking for a good excuse to hold her close and get out his work.

"Everything ok?" he asked as he kept reading, one hand resting on her hip as she snuggled in close to him and nuzzled his neck.

"Sara is asleep and do you smell that?" she asked him in a low and sexy drawl. Mike moved his nose to her hair and took an inhale.

"You showered using my soap again?" He asked in amusement as he rubbed his nose up the side of her face. He felt her smile at his observation, as her other hand smoothed over his chest.

"It's economical but not what I'm pointing out to you. Just take a deep inhale and think of how it's your favourite." She told him.

"You're my favourite." He told her, she leaned back and gave him the look that said he had to pay attention. He closed the manual and pretended he had to think about it when he already knew what she was talking about. "Shakshuka?" he asked her, naming the delicious aroma of dinner in the air.

"Yep." She said with a grin.

"You didn't have to." He told her.

"I wanted to. Now, put away your work for the night and come eat with me before our daughter demands your attention." She told him, Mike smiled as he loved the two demanding women in his life.

"Ok." He said, she gave him a quick kiss on the lips before she slid out his lap. Mike smiled as closed the books and computer. He moved them off the table and helped Naz set up the table for dinner. It was his favourite meal and time of day as it was just him and Naz, enjoying the quiet of the evening with her. He never thought after losing his family he'd have anything like this again. But here he was, blessed with love, happiness and family.

* * *

**The End... for now!**


End file.
